2nd birthday/ anniversary post!!
So I won’t make this post too long!
But thank you for another year on this blog fam!! I really appreciate every single one of you, whether you’ve been here from the start or if you’ve just joined the fam (if you did, welcome!!)
It has definitely been... one rollercoaster of a year but I’m glad we made it. I’m grateful to have all of you beside me. My writing has changed a lot and a lot has happened on here. Well, the good and the bad, I learnt a lot from every single thing that happened.
Just some thanks to my mutuals (i don’t have much cause social battery just be struggling now...)
I really learn a lot from each and every one of them. They are the nicest people you will ever meet without any prejudice and they are just so awesome, amazing. I seriously don’t deserve them <3
@yeontanismypresident @kimnjss @afternoonteabiscuit @kithtaehyung @ggukkieland @kookiestarlight @whitesparrows97 @jiminrings @hoebii @xjoonchildx @bratkook @hobipaint @ditttiii @missgeniality @kookdiaries @jimilter @gorechoi-main @lavienjin @rmverse @jeonqquk @jeonjcngkook @xpeachesncream @wishesunderthestars @kookskingdom @jikookiekosmos @kookingtae @chateautae @mercurygguk @aquagustd @myooniverse @dntaewithluv @7deadlysinsfics @usertae @justcallmenikki7 @euphor1a
(I’m sorry if I missed you out!! Just know ily too!!)
Especially the 3 I talk to almost every day (yes, i have slight attachment issues ok?) @ressjeon @amourtae @taegularities they just have so much love to give and are honestly closer to me than some of my friend IRL
anyway, thank you once again for journeying with me as I continue to write and grow on this blog.
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Random goon: Hey boss, were you the one to pick that name as an alias? And why this one?
Red Hood : I used to have another name, before... A long time ago. But that person is dead now. I get to choose for myself now, they can't take that from me. I won't let them.
Goon: Huh.
***
Random Goon: Say boss, why do you never take off your shirt in front of us?
Red Hood: Well uh, I actually have that really fucked scar on my chest and I'm not comfortable with...
Random Goon: Don't worry boss, we get it, you don't have to explain yourself to us.
***
Red Hood, high on some toxin: God, I wish my family...
Random Goon (on boss-sitting duty): why not try reaching out to them?
Red Hood: They would never accept me as I am now... They wouldn't agree with my so-called "life choices". Besides, they don't miss me, they miss the person they think I used to be... I wasn't even a man when I last saw them.
Random Goon: Damn boss, that sucks.
***
And then the goons throw the Red Hood a party on trans visibility day and Jason is so confused he straight up cries.
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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warmth.
a comic about not being alone.
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creative notes:
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all my other comics
store
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tumblr users all of a sudden: oh yeah this website is SO good for art hehehe it’s waaayyyy better than twitter it’s so supportive of artists we love art so much here uwu art for the win!! ✨ 😘 💕 😋✨
artists who have spent the last 4+ years on their hands and knees begging people to reblog their art just to be ignored every single time because half this website acts like their nuts will be ripped off with the claw end of a hammer if they reblog a single drawing:
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You know what? Happy Disability Month to those who were disabled by accident. Cars, skis, ice, sand, rocks, horses, just plain bad luck. Broken bones and backs that never heal. Shoulders that can't lift or move right. Wrists that don't turn. Hands that can't grasp. Brains that don't work right anymore. Legs that don't move anymore and eyes that won't recover.
The shame, the blame, the frustration, the wishful thinking that tears you apart. The beauty of small victories and simple kindness. The community you build. Reshaping a life with no warning. Mourning for the person you once were. Joyfully embracing the person you now are. Happy Disability Month to you too (even if you aren't ready to use that word yet)
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✨ not a role model, but a runway model ✨(he’s been rotting my brain)
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good news, i just opened a ko-fi!
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suicidal people deserve a space to talk about their suicidal feelings without risking hospitalization/institutionalization or being accused of being manipulative or attention seeking
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this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...
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I think it'd be really funny if evolution happened naturally in the pmd universe instead of going to luminous spring
(I blame @fujii-draws for this)
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Happy Lunar New Year!
here's a lil comic of my skk little prince au i made a while back to greet you all :)) I hope your new year wishes come to fruition and that your year would be a blessed one <3
Anyways,,, new year shrine visit!
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Sam is Adopted
So! Have you ever noticed how Sam doesn't look like either of her Parents? Her Mom and Dad are Blonde and Ginger, and neither of them have Purple Eyes. How would Sam ever come from either of them?
She tells people that she dyes her Hair and wears Contacts, but the reality is that she was adopted as a baby by them. They had just found out that Pamela was Infertile and they wanted an Heir foe their company, so they decided to Adopt a kid.
But the Adoption Agency didn't have any kids who would realistically look like them, so they just got the first kid they found.
She had been left at the Orphanage by her Mother citing an inability to raise her and an unstable income. She never told the Agency her name, but told them that the baby's name was Sam, named after her Grandfather.
Sam was raised knowing that she was Adopted, but never really put much interest into it. Until one day when she decided that her adoptive Parents support of the Anti Ecto Acts was a step too far for her. She took an Ancestry DNA Test to see if she could find her Bio Mom to get away from them.
The results came back, and she found out that her Mom was a woman from Metropolis named Lois Lane.
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Dear black readers,
Don’t be afraid to write that fanfic . Regardless of the film, celebrity, book, show, character, sexuality, genre, or whether you think it's good or not write it! There isn't nearly enough fan fiction for us to appreciate or relate to as it is. We’re just as important as any other reader and if the fandom claims that the character would never be interested in a black person, and?! How the hell they know? There's a reason it’s called fan fiction... Don't be ashamed to write it because you fear nobody will read it, they will. It's important, in my opinion, that black readers be able to visualize themselves in the book. So write the story! 🫶🏾
- Ary 💜
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