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sserpente · 7 months

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Magic Hands

Synopsis: Astarion teaches you how to use a dagger in battle. The sweaty training calls for a bath in the nearby river afterward and you can’t help but admire the vampire rogue in the pale moonlight, surrounded by the glistening water surface. He seems… tense. Perhaps you can repay him by giving him a gentle massage?

A/N: Why did this take me so long to write, oh my gods! :D

Words: 2038 Warnings: smut, mentions of sexual trauma

Your battle cry echoed across the entire campsite when you plunged your blade forward. Lae’zel’s makeshift mind flayer dummy was rendered with holes at this point, oozing hey from several rips in the old fabric she had used to craft it.

The impact had you sway to one side and you shifted your weight, your left arm flailing about clumsily.

“Good. Now try that again without losing your balance.”

You grunted, shooting him an angry glance. He had his sleeves rolled up, and his arms crossed before his chest. It was almost distracting. Almost.

You had been at it for hours. Granted, it had been your idea—if you were going to survive this involuntary adventure, you might as well learn how to defend yourself. You were surprised you’d even made it this far. And, since attacking from the shadows was much more your cup of tea than storming headfirst into battle like Wyll or Lae’zel, you’d kindly asked Astarion to help you out.

He was a tough and strict teacher, you had to give him that. But you were making quick progress too. Before today, you hadn’t even been able to hold a dagger properly.

You withdrew your weapon and returned to your original position.

“Ah-ah-ah. No, darling. What did we just learn?” His teasing voice went down like butter. That was even more distracting.

Astarion pointed at your left foot. You shifted in the dirt, creating a grovelling noise.

“There we go. Now try again.”

You did as you were told, lunging at the dummy once more. Astarion tutted at you when you lost your balance yet again.

“Hey, don’t tut me!”

“I see where the problem lies now. Go on. Get back in position.”

Grunting once more, you obeyed. What you were not prepared for, however, was that he would step right behind you and place his hands on your stomach and waist. You sucked in a deep breath, tensing up.

“Keep tension here. You’ll want to make sure that lovely core of yours keeps you on your feet.”

Memories from your night in the woods came flooding back, sending you down a spiral of pleasure and arousal. You cleared your throat.

“Okay. I got it. I think.”

The sensation of loss was nearly overwhelming when he let go again. You could have sworn you saw him smirk from the corner of your eye.

You got into position again, took a deep breath, and… struck.

“Good girl.” You would have dropped the dagger had it not been lodged deeply within the mindflayer dummy. “Again.”

Again. Again and again and again until Astarion was certain you got the hang of it. Your arms were burning by the time he clapped and finally let you off the hook for the day.

“Be honest, you’re enjoying this a little.”

The vampire smirked. “More than just a little, darling.”

Heat crept up your cheeks, forcing you to bite your lower lip. “Whatever. I should get washed.”

“Hmm, so should I.”

You offered him a smile. Making your way toward the lake, you walked past Lae’zel who was sharpening her sword, Karlach who was dancing to a song only audible to her, and Gale practicing little magic tricks. Wyll and Halsin were with Shadowheart, talking and drinking by the fireplace.

You sighed. It could have been peaceful if it wasn’t for the imminent threat of a tadpole turning you all into thralls.

Once you reached the shore, there was no hesitation in your movements. You stripped off your clothes, knowing the bushes would hide you from unwanted eyes. As for Astarion… well… there was nothing he hadn’t seen before.

The vampire followed suit though you did notice that he avoided your gaze as he undressed. You couldn’t help but watch him regardless as he waded into the water until he was submerged hip-deep.

“You look really fine in the moonlight, you know that?” you said, joining him swiftly.

“Of course I do, I’m a vampire, darling.” He swam closer to you, allowing you to wrap your entire body around him. Astarion’s hands found your behind, squeezing gently.

“That’s not what I meant,” you whispered. His lips were cold when you met them with yours, a playful kiss soon turning into a passionate display of affection.

By the time you finally broke apart panting, Astarion rolled his shoulders with a groan.

“Is everything alright? You seem even tenser than me.”

“Oh well, it can’t be helped. Must be the weight of being a hero on my shoulders,” he spat with dismay. Oh yeah… he’d made it clear his interest in saving the refugees was ridiculously small. You had your theories on that… yet there was no way in the hells Astarion was a terrible person but rather… a person terrible things had happened to. The scars on his back spoke for themselves.

“I could help with that if you want,” you said before you could stop yourself.

“Help? How?”

“This is gonna sound silly but I used to work as a massage therapist for a few years, back in Baldur’s Gate, I mean. I have magic hands. I know a lot of techniques to relieve back pain and back tension…” You trailed off, studying his reaction.

“Magic hands?”

Astarion narrowed his eyes at you and somehow, you knew exactly what was going on in his mind. Relieving a different kind of tension at your celebration with the Tieflings was one thing… having someone work his back and stroke every inch of exposed skin with skilled hands, right over the scars that had brought him so much torment… that was another.

“You want to… well… I…”

“If you want to?”

“Well… I suppose…”

You tilted your head. He wanted to accept, you could tell. But was that… concern glistening in his red eyes?

“You know, I’m, uh… I’m not offering this to have sex with you again. I mean… I really, really enjoyed myself, Astarion but… I honestly feel like that’s the reason you’re being wary, isn’t it? Along with me, um… touching your scars.”

His lips parted.

“I just want to help. And only if you’ll let me.”

“Alright… fine.”

You nodded, the tension you didn’t realise had been building up inside of you leaving your body.

“Then come find me in my tent later.”

You left him some privacy after your swim, returning to your makeshift home to find anything you could use as a massage oil. You settled for an ointment in the end, one that Halsin usually used to treat wounds. It would do. You could hardly use a bottle of grease after all.

You were rather certain Astarion waited until the others were asleep on purpose. When he parted the fabric of your makeshift door and crouched down a little to come inside, you patted your bedroll and smiled at him.

His coyness was adorable. While before his heart-breaking confession, every single word that had left his lips was a flirt, he was but a frightened young man now, intimidated by intimacy.

“Lie down, my love. And… Astarion?”

His red eyes met yours as he followed your request and removed his shirt, once again revealing those horrifying scars to you.

“You need to stop me if you’re feeling uncomfortable, alright?”

The vampire spawn smirked. “How could I possibly feel uncomfortable with your skilled hands dancing over my body, pet?”

“You know what I mean.” You grinned, relieved that his smarm was not lost on him.

“Of course.”

“Now lie down on your belly and close your eyes.”

Astarion sighed and did as he was told. You straddled him, trifling some of the oil on your hands and rubbing them together before eventually… placing your palms on his bare back.

Your fingers glided over the ridges of his scars, your thumbs digging into the muscles, looking for any tension. You found it all too quickly, working knot after knot out of his tormented back.

Soon enough, he relaxed. His sigh was so innocent you couldn’t help but lean forward and place a gentle kiss between his shoulder blades.

You pampered him for a while, making sure to massage each and every spot on his back. You did not fail to miss the faint moan when you asked him to turn over so you could work on the rest of his body. Gods, you were enjoying this even more than he was.

Astarion’s gaze was filled with repose and… hunger. And when your eyes travelled further down, your lips parted and you realised why.

He was hard.

“Do you… do you want me to stop?”

“Don’t… you… dare…” he muttered, eyes half-closed still.

You bit your lower lip, oily hands gliding over his chest. It wasn’t just him. You were as wet as the river you’d bathed in just a few hours back and now that you were aware just how much your sensual treatment affected him, the arousal was nearly unbearable.

Breathing heavily, you swallowed and paused.

“How about… I have an idea.”

He sat up a little, propping himself on his elbows. “Oh?”

His sly smirk caught you entirely off guard though you were unsure whether he was merely trying to hide his insecurity behind it. He’d told you he didn’t want you to think of him in terms of sex for now and you would respect that wish. There was no need for you to act on your own excitement even if it drove you insane. But if he let you… you wanted to make him feel good so badly that it almost caused you physical discomfort.

“I could… take care of… that,” you muttered, pointing at the growing bulge in his trousers.

Astarion raised his eyebrows, passion glistening in those red eyes.

“Let me pamper you. No sex. I might as well give you a… full body massage at this point. And if it gets too much, you stop me.”

“We… we could try.” He nodded, lying back down but keeping his eyes wide open as you opened his trousers with gentle movements and pulled his erection free.

Astarion flinched when your oily hand wrapped around his hardening length, fingertips teasing him tenderly.

“Okay?”

He nodded.

“I need you to tell me with words, my love.”

Astarion cleared his throat. “Okay. That feels… nice.”

One thing you realised very quickly was that he had never experienced anything like this before. Someone who wished for nothing more than to bring him pleasure, to make him feel good, without expecting anything in return. To give him back his sensuality where only he and his well-being mattered without his body being sexualised or objectified…

It must have been such a novel concept to him… biting your lower lip, you began to stroke him with firm yet tender touches, your thumb gliding over his slit and rubbing over his tip.

He squirmed, bucking his hips in response with a quiet moan. It was enough of a reaction to urge you on, your movements quickening and adapting to his rapid breathing.

You paused when he uttered your name with a start.

“No… no, don’t stop, my love… don’t you dare stop…”

So you kept going, driving him to the edge with hungry ferocity. Gods, he looked so delicious. So carefree and innocent all because of you…

“I… I… I will…”

Astarion thrust up into your hands, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. Pleasure flushed his entire face, his lips parting. He tensed up, his thighs shaking and his fingers clutching at the soft material of your bedroll. He came all over your hands and knuckles, ropes of seed clear evidence of his release. You helped him ride it out, squeezing every last drop from his pretty cock until he was spent and panting, his body relaxing again bit by bit.

“You look so beautiful when you come undone…” you whispered, wiping your hands on some rags you kept nearby.

He chuckled. “And you do have magic hands. I might have to ask you to do that again soon.”

You smiled, cuddling up to him with a smile. Neither of you bothered to get undressed completely. You were perfectly fine with falling asleep like this.

“Anytime, Astarion. Always.”

#astarion #astarion imagine #astarion x you #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion smut #bg3 #astarion x female tav #astarion x female reader #astarion ancunin #astarion fluff #astarion ancunin imagine #astarion ancunin x you #astarion ancunin x reader #astarion ancunin x tav #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 imagine #bg3 imagine #neil newbon

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idkwhatimdoinghere1655 · 1 year

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Good Evening - Charles Leclerc

You hadn't seen Charles for pretty much the whole of the day, since he had been stuck in online meetings. You had taken him some drinks and lunch, but all you received was a quick kiss on the cheek accompanied by a 'thank you'.

Now, you were in the kitchen, not sure of what to do for dinner. Charles was still in a meeting for as far as you knew, so you didn't want to interrupt by knocking on and asking. You were at a loss, unable to come up with anything to do with yourself.

In the end, the stack of dishes beside the sink seemed like something that needed tackling, and you hoped to be done by the time Charles was finished. Asking the speaker in the corner to play some soft jazz, you set yourself up in front of the sink and set the hot water running.

You piled dish after dish into the sink, before setting it on the rack to dry, and it took you awhile to even get through half. You couldn't even remember how it had gotten so bad, it felt like you had done them yesterday.

You gently swayed your hips along to the music, humming as you carried on scrubbing. You jumped a little when you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist, a kiss landing on your cheek.

"You done for the day?" You asked, continuing with the dishes as Charles rested his weight onto you. "Mhm," he hummed, burying his face into your neck.

"What do you want for dinner?" You also asked as he squeezed you tighter. Charles took a minute to think, but his brain had already done double the amount of thinking it could handle for the day. "I don't mind, whatever is easiest," he answered, offering absolutely zero ideas.

"Thanks for the help on that one Charles, really inspirational," you teased, and you felt him huff against your neck. He was grumpy, and you liked to rattle him just a bit when he was. "I'm tired, baby," he groaned.

"I know you are, you've had a long day," you told him, finishing up the last of the dishes and resting your arms over his, just standing there together. "Can you come to bed with me? I'm not hungry, just tired," he whined.

"OK, OK, we can go to bed," you said, turning your head to the side and kissing him on top of his hair, which was ruffled as much as it possibly could be. The songs were still quietly playing in the corner, and you still swayed your hips to the rhythm.

Spinning in his arms, you slung your arms over his shoulders as he swayed with you. He pulled you close, leaving his arms grasped around your waist. You gently rested your head on his chest, hearing the slow thuds of his heartbeat.

He buried his face in your hair, inhaling the sweet scent of your shampoo as you silently swayed to the music. "I love you, so so much," Charles mumbled, just having a moment.

There were just these times when he was filled with love for you, and he just had to tell you at any given opportunity. You were the light of his life, and you were everything he had ever wanted in his life.

"I love you too," you said, your words muffled by his chest. As you swayed, you eventually made your way to the kitchen door. "Can we go to bed now?" He asked, already trying to tug you towards the bedroom.

"Yes, we can," you said, letting him pull you through the apartment and into you room. The lights were never switched on, Charles just flopped down on the bed and let you close the curtains.

You chuckled to yourself as he fell down face first into his pillow, waiting for you to join him. You purposely took your time, quickly leaving the room to get a glass of water. "Baby! Hurry up, I'm tired and I need cuddles," you heard him yell.

You could just picture his scrunched up, grumpy face with a pout on his lips. "I'm coming!" you called back, switching off the lights as you walked through the apartment. "I'm here, you can stop whining now," you playfully scolded, lying down on your side of the bed.

With all the energy he had left, Charles hauled his body over to you, until he was practically on top of you. "Now this is what I need after a hard days work," he muttered, snuggling into you. "You call sitting in online meetings all day hard work?"

"You don't?" he softly laughed, closing his eyes as he listened to your heartbeat.

"Well, you can sleep now," you told him, tangling your fingers into his chocolate locks and mindlessly playing with the strands, earning a hum of happiness from him. "And sleep I will," he smiled, settling comfortably.

"Goodnight," he mumbled, feeling the good vibrations through his head as you messed with his hair. "It's 5pm," you told him, and he just groaned at you.

"Fine, good evening then," he said, eliciting a chuckle from you.

"Good evening, Charles," you smiled, liking the fact he was pretty much acting as your weighted blanket. You were both tired, and an early night never hurt anyone.

A/N - Another short little thing I whipped up until the big day tomorrow! Fun fact, it's not only Maxie's birthday tomorrow :0... There WILL be a celebratory post, and look out for a poll to do with something Christmassy coming soon! Requests are open, so send in whatever you like! Have a wonderful evening/day, and I love you loads 💖

|masterlist|

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wildheartsalwaysburn · 11 months

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OP men taking care of their SO

Gn!Reader (I tried)

Characters: Trafalgar Law, Eustass Kid, Sanji, Bartolomeo, Corazon

CW: mentions of ED (starving, vomiting, overexercising), bad body image/body dysmorphia, cursing, SH, slight nsfw for Kid

Notes: I'm in a terrible mental state rn, kinda relapsing. OP hyperfixation fixes stuff so I decided to write some HC how they would act when noticing their SO is struggling with an ED.

Trafalgar Law

he had a bad feeling about your eating habits a while ago

noticing you rush to the bathroom after every meal and "showering" excessively

but didn't mention cuz he knows to leave people alone (he's the same tbh)

it hit him during the monthly physical examination

he listens to your heartbeat and notice it being really low

"y/n, would you step on the scale?" he asks in a cold but also concerned tone

as he notices you getting anxious when standing in front of that thing, he sighs and puts a hand reassuring on your shoulder

"it's ok. I'm here. Just step on it, please." his voice still concerned but warm and soft

he looks at the low numbers in shock and takes you carefully from the scale before you can see the numbers

"y/n-ya. What's wrong?" he'll take your cold hands and sits right in front of you

if you break out in tears, he'll just sit there and hug you tightly, til you calm down by yourself

if you stay cold and stubborn, he'll get annoyed but also takes care of you

either way, you talk a lot and will make a rehab plan, he'll watch over you as much as he can

he won't miss a moment to show you how much he loves and cares for you

"you're the most beautiful soul I know, y/n-ya."

"I know it hurts, but I cannot lose someone I love dearly, again."

"We get through this, ok?"

all in all, he's a doctor and acts like one, but he'll support you whenever needed

Eustass Kid

he notice during working out together

the last times you'd been skipping meals and even alcohol, working out without him even in the middle of the night

first he thought you'd simply want to get stronger than him and teases you daily

but on that day you've overdone yourself, your body can't take it anymore and you get dizzy and weak all of a sudden, letting the weights fall down with a thud

"y/n?! Fucking seriously?" he first yells at you (rule: never let weights fall down)

you sink on your knees, mumbling sth like you'd be fine

"Fine my ass!" he swears and lifts you up to carry you to his room

"what the hell are you thinking?!" he's clearly pissed

he'll put on his too big warm clothes and coat, still staring at you angrily

forces you to drink water and hot tea, he still stares at you

"so what the fuck is wrong with you, y/n?" angry, annoyed tone

when you start to cry, he's overwhelmed and feels bad not being able to help, so he just sits there and pets your head

when you glance back and pout/get angry you'll get into a fight and storms out throwing the door

just to come back and hug you tightly after finally understanding

his soft side comes out when you tell him you feel weak and ugly and fat

he laughs: "stupid girl/boy! you're the strongest pirate I know! and the sexiest! besides me"

if you don't or don't smile enough (which will be most likely the case), he'll just tower over you and wrap you up in his arms, roaming with his hands over your body and repeat how amazing you are

he'll get overprotective, remind you to eat enough through the day (sometimes forces you to)

He makes you different playlists to lift up your mood

also he'll seek help from Killer from time to time (but won't tell you)

Sanji

He’ll notice when you stop joining to cook in the kitchen

Notices your rapid weight loss really quickly

Sits down next to you, lights up a ciggy and asks worried what’s wrong

Poor boy thinks it’s his fault

Eventually he’ll tear up and just hug you, telling you how much he loves you

“You can tell me everything, ma chère!”

You instantly felt understood and tell him

He’ll look at you in shock, not understanding how such a beautiful person can think of themselves like that

“But you are the most beautiful woman/man, I know, y/n-swan”

He cups your face and gazes into your eyes before kissing you softly

“We get through this, together. I promise.”

And he’ll make it true. He’s the most supportive boyfriend

Forehead kisses, reassuring soft hugs and touches, always keeping an eye on you

Spa Days, telling you every second how much he loves and adores you, would never force you but beg you to try his food at least

Makes the most delicious looking meals

Reads all about EDs so he won’t accidentally hurt you even more

Will hold you in his arms when you’re freezing or crying

Hides the scale

All in all the perfect man

Bartolomeo

He’ll notice when following you to the bathroom after dinner

Already had a bad gut feeling about your bruised up and red hands

He holds them all the time so he knows their appearance by heart

“Y/n-chan? Are you ok? I’m here for you! Are you sick?”

Music plays from inside and the tab runs

When you came out after minutes, eyes swollen and red, hands wet and even redder than before you’ll earn a concerned look

“Don’t tell me you’re fine, y/n-chan.”

Weirdly sniffs and notices the smell of vomit

Eyes in shock and starts crying

“No no no no my dearest y/n-chan!! Please don’t tell me it’s true!”

Wraps his arms around you in a tight embrace, crying his eyes out

Overdramatic as fuck

Eventually taking your weak body to a quiet room, cleans your face and gives you something to drink

Will listen to each of your words really carefully to understand

Always pleasing you, always bring you water and tea, will not force but desperately beg to you eat something

Will accompany you to the bathroom any time, watching that you don’t hurt yourself anymore

Around you 24/7, will provoke and beat up everyone just trying to say something bad about you

Literally overprotective l, like a guard dog

Will try to lift your mood by telling stupid jokes and stories, tattle about Law and other “not cool non strawhats”, showing off his collection

Proud as hell every time he’ll make you laugh and forget that illness for a second

Corazon/ Rosinante Donquixote

He’ll notice when picking you up as usual

“Y/n, you’re so tiny?!”

Shocked at first and lifts you even higher

Can’t believe you’re that light, you’ve always been to him, but now it’s different

Immediately throws you over his shoulder, covering you with his warm feather coat

“We’re going to a doctor, no back talk.”

His tone is stern but also warm and caring

Carries you to different doctors and hospitals, always holding your hand or thigh to show you he’s there

Will yell at anyone who says that can’t treat you

Throws literal tantrums at some doctors for being “incapable”

Will end up trying to fix and heal you himself

Showers you in love and care, eg bringing you water, tea, let’s you borrow his lighter to fidget with (even lend you his cigarettes if you smoke)

Will always smile at you and be more clumsy on purpose to make you laugh again

Will cook for you, whatever you want, burns it a few times by accident

Let’s you wear his clothes, when you feel bad about your body

Or wraps you up in them to get you warm

Will be extremely careful when touching, hugging or lifting you up

Afraid he’ll break you

Will inform himself about EDs to make the best of it

Never leaves your side, towering above or behind you, so no one can hurt you

Even lends you hit hat from time to time if he can’t be around for a moment, so you won’t feel alone

Gets sentimental when you sleep and he drinks, petting your head, sits right next to you talking about how beautiful and amazing you are

"I love you so much! You deserve everything in this world, my heart!"

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louwaist · 23 days

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TIPS TO STAY ENERGIZED AT SCHOOL WHILE ☆

Okay before doing all of this I wish you all a good school start!

If you are someone who prioritize their studies and want to get the hang of everything at school in the first few weeks! I recommend taking your calorie intake a bit higher for atleast 2 weeks, then start lowering it again but not dramatically!! Just watch out on protein and fiber and you'll be good. This is just to have enough energy and not burn out and binge by the start of school. Trust me on this it's scary I know but better result will come, and will avoid binging. At the same time you won't raise concern so easily and so early.

Here are the tips!

1/ don't skip breakfast, trust me on thus one you need to focus. Make sure you have a good source of protein in your breakfast I like to have one boiled egg with oats sums up less than 300 calories and keeps me full and energized

2/have dates with you. This thing just give energy and has a good source of fiber and it's sugary but healthy sugars so help with energy!! However don't have more than 7! So that you don't lead to binge

3/ sleep during break time, yes this is weird but you need to try to put your head down, for atleast 10 minutes during recess

4/ yoga+ meditation. Wake up early drink plenty of water and make time for 10 minutes of yoga, practice your breathing. The more oxygen gets to the brain the more energized and awake you will feel, maybe do it after comming back home before eating dinner or sum. I like it

5/ during lunch break go for walk atleast 20 minute moving around can also help staying awake and energized =)

6/ caffeine. So many will say yes take coffee for energy, but too much of it can make you dizzy and faint cause your heart beat go up, anw I don't know how to explain but iverall you'll feel lightheaded. So I would recommend cocoa powder! But natural cocoa powder costs a but expensive but worth it and is so low in calorie, mix it with hot water or plant based milk for fiber and boom your really gonna stay energized for the full day

7/ don't deny taking vitamins supplements, honestly I regret not taking them, but I will get back to them make sure you prioritize vitamin C and D and also iron.

8/ last thing is get plenty of sleep, lmao normal but really this aids in weight loss have a good sleep schedule focus on it!

I will soon post excuses on skipping lunch with friends ;)

#light as a feather #tw ana rant #st4rv3 #tw ana bløg #ed ednotsheeran restriction #tw purge #tw ed implied #disordered eating mention #edn0s #thiinsp0

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eggyrocks · 2 months

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seasons each fic takes place in

on repeat: winter (warm). when there’s a lot of fluffy snow and you grab handfuls of it and throw it at your friends. making elaborate cups of hot chocolate & decorating cookies & watching nostalgic holiday movies. loud indoor gatherings & peppermint flavored alcohol.

calloused hands: winter (cold). slushy snow and frozen over sidewalks. when you can see your breath in the air and it’s so cold outside you can feel it in your bones no matter how much you bundle up. the drag of cold weather once the holidays are over. cuddling under a blanket while it storms outside & drinking cups of tea to stay warm.

syrup: spring (warm). when you step outside for the first time and realize it’s finally warm after a brutal winter. all the trees have pink flowers and you sit in the sun as much as you can. staying out to see the sun set later and having picnics at a city park.

inked: summer (cool). slight breezes and finding reprieve under the shade of a tree. eating fresh fruit from a farmers market and the nights cooling down. going for long drives with the windows down. displays bouquets of seasonal flowers on sidewalks and the advertising of air conditioning.

bruised: spring (cool). when it’s not warm enough to thaw the leftover ice and snow from winter so it sits on the side of the street. wearing a sweatshirt in the morning because it’s too cold and abandoning halfway through the day because it gets too warm. leaving the windows open just for someone to close them when you turn around. everything outside smells fresh.

35mm: winter (warm). hiding in a well lit library while it snows outside. hosting movie nights with your friends because it’s too cold to go out anywhere. cooking big, warm comfort meals every night and saving left overs for the people you care about. wearing knit sweaters and getting kissed under a streetlight while it lightly snows.

static: fall (warm). putting up corny halloween decorations and planning elaborate group costumes. trying to bake pumpkin pastries but everything ends up burnt. exclusively ordering chai lattes and swapping sweatshirts with your friends. going out late at night to random places and telling each other ghost stories. watching horror movies and screaming as loud as you can.

count your losses: winter (cold). bitterness at how long the cold has lasted and eager for it to be done with. fantasizing about what you’ll do when it’s finally warm enough and dreading when it’ll be too hot to do anything. cold rains. getting too hot under your jacket but getting too cold when you take it off

get back: fall (cool). the air is crisp and fresh. warm apple ciders. wanting to visit the countryside but stuck in the city. old bookstores that smell like dust. when harry met sally. long warm coats and handmade scarves. dinner parties with your roommates just to feel fancy.

maneater: summer (hot). sticky and humid even after the sun sets. hair clinging to the back of your neck and drinking your weight in water. going out every day and night to make the most of the heat while it lasts. eating popsicles with the fan aimed directly at you. not wanting affection because it’s too hot to be touched but still secretly craving it. plans for beach days that go chaotically and refilling reusable water bottles with more ice than water.

drunk walk home: fall (cool). constant autumn rain. dark foggy mornings spent drinking a hot coffee in a coffee spot. fallen leaves clogging street drains. carrying an umbrella with you every you go and still somehow always getting caught up in the rain. rereading the same books over and over. walks home in an outfit that’s just a little too cold after a long night out. hard ciders and moscow mules

#i know i already did one of these but im doing another one #WHAT ABOUT IT #also i need to know #from this do u think i experience all four seasons where im from #or do u think i’m just guessing #ramblings

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tas01 · 2 years

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I wanted to share some things I've manifested. There's more I've done. So there will be part 2 in my future posts.

Manifesting men into my life.

Finding random love letters on my car. Just from walking by men or being in a store.

My affirmations

All men are instantly attracted to me.

That guy right there likes me and wants to date me.

That guy wants my number, he's going to give me his number.

That guy thinks I'm so beautiful.

All men want to date me

I'm so beautiful and the prettiest.

Manifest my desired phone. (Samsung Ultra 22)

I ended up trading my old phone in for my desired phone. And out of nowhere, there was a sale going on that day. I ended up paying nothing for it. And my phone company upgraded my phone plan at no charge.

My affirmations

Yep, it's mine.

I can afford it.

I love my new phone.

I have my new phone

It's the prettiest phone I've ever owned.

Another thing I did is I kept looking at the website and pretended I was shopping for it. And I put it in my cart and pretended I purchased it.

Desired Body

I lost 15 lbs in less than a week. With no change in diet or my exercise routine.

I did drink more water as a placebo effect. (Diet loss tool) I believed it worked because I already have this as my dominant thought. My thought of drinking tons of water will help me show quicker results.

I kept looking into my mirror by saying these

Affirmations

Omg I am so freaking skinny.

I am losing so much weight.

I can't believe how amazing I look.

I look so happy and healthy.

My SP

I've been feeling super closer and building a stronger and closer relationship with my Sp.

Affirmations

My sp loves being my best friend.

I love being my sp best friend.

My sp loves sharing everything with me.

I love sharing everything with my sp.

My sp loves talking to me everyday.

I love talking to my sp everyday.

My sp thinks about me all the time.

I think about my sp all the time.

My sp is comfortable around me

My sp says I am the only woman he wants to be with for the rest of his life.

My desired job

They hired me with no experience or a degree in this field. I'm a patient at this place and they said they were looking for someone to fill in and if I was interested. I said YES! PLEASE!

Affirmations

I don't remember affirming. But I just knew that I would be working there and feeling how amazing it would be to work here. I guess I was living in the end. As if I was already working there. 🥰

Manifested today a free coffee from Starbucks. I Affirmed today hm I wonder if I can manifest a free coffee. The lady said to me as I was purchasing a bag of coffee and I was also going to pay for a coffee to stay here so I can blog this post. She said you know I can just use your coffee out of this bag so you won't need to pay for the vente 👏😁 There are no big or small manifestations. There's no time limit. Everything you want is yours. 💋

Life is easy, life is simple. As soon as I say something I want, I instantly can have it.

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kaulitz420 · 1 year

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STORMY WEATHER

BILL KAULITZ X READER

Summary : Your boy was just so tired and he just needed some love from his favourite girl :)).

Warnings : Basically pure fluff, playing with his hair, cuddling, small kisses, just overall tooth rotting cuteness!✰

You were sitting on the couch flipping through the different channels on the TV waiting for your boyfriend to come home to you. The storm was rough and loud and quite honestly, made you kind of worried for him to drive home in such bad weather. Sighing, you shut the TV off and made your way to the kitchen to make you and Bill some hot chocolate and tea for when he gets back to surprise him. You poured the water into the kettle and gently set it on the hot stove top to let it boil while you ran to go through the pantry to find the hot cocoa mix and the tea packets to place them on the counter.

Your thoughts were cut short as you heard the garage open loudly and you, quite actually stumbled to the door to greet him. You heard him open and close his car door roughly before hearing the crank of the garage door closing. A smile on your face as you watched him open the door to the house as his tall frame leaned inside. “Bill!” His head cocked up from leaning over and a big smile appeared on his face as he looked down at you. Your arms were outstretched towards him and he gladly accepted the hug. He fully stood up, lifting you with him and a fit of giggles left the both of your lips and echoed in the room. He gently placed you back down on your feet but kept you in the tight hug.

“I missed you so much, baby.” he whispered into your ear before pulling away just enough to give you a soft kiss on your lips. You both let go of the hug but kept a gentle hold on each others arms. You looked up at him with a soft look and a cute smile. “I missed you too, Billy.” Your face soon lit up as you heard the kettle make that high pitched sound, signalling that the water was ready. His eyebrow was cocked up, something he did rather often when he was confused. “Oh! I was making us some tea, would you like some?” You questioned. He grinned as he looked down at you. “I’d love some, thank you sweetheart.” You nodded up at him with a big grin, holding his hand with your fingers intertwined and you both made your way to the kitchen and poured your drinks. Adding your desired amount of chocolate mix, and his desired amount of tea bags.

You soon found yourself laying in your shared bed with Bill resting his head on your chest, slightly buried in your neck as he explained what happened throughout his day. You were rubbing small circles with your thumbs on his shoulders and back before you took your hands off of him. He stopped talking and whined at the loss of contact, about to beg you to continue before he felt your hands run through his hair. He let out a soft sigh and relaxed into you further, his arms wrapped around you and his eyes fluttering shut. You smiled to yourself as you saw how relaxed he was and you continued to play with his hair. Running your fingers on his scalp through his black hair, playing with the small blonde streaks he had, it was just so mesmerizing. His breathing got slower, feeling a lot more weight on you, and his eyes didn’t flutter back open every once in a while, he had fallen asleep on you! With a smile on your face, your head leaned back into the pillow. With your fingers still tangled in his hair, gently pulling at it and combing it with your nails, you were lulled to sleep by the soft pitter-patter of rain outside your window, and the light snores from your boyfriend, Bill Kaulitz.

————————————————————————

hey!! i really hoped you enjoyed, even though it’s so short!!😭 i’ve like never really posted on here before, let alone a story. i do take requests! i can write any kind of genre too, even smut.🤭🤭 but i will have my inbox open and if you’d like i can make a post about what i write for and if you need it i can make a master-list. please bare with me during this, i haven’t figured out this app all too well yet.

#bill kaulitz x reader #tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #fluff #weather #2000s #bill kaulitz imagines

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femmefatalevibe · 1 year

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Femme Fatale Guide: How To Learn To Love Yourself & Heal From Toxic People

Allow yourself to feel all your emotions and thoughts, authentically and without self-criticism or judgment: Acknowledge that you're grieving. Accept that you need to mourn your loss. Even if it is better to move on in life without these people, it is healthy and completely valid to grieve the relationships you had with these people – regardless of whether they were one-sided, deluded, or otherwise toxic. Allow yourself to cry, be angry, lie in bed, etc. Hit a pillow, sleep in all day on a weekend, or wear a set of pajamas for a WFH day. Give yourself permission to engage in self-soothing behaviors without any type of self-harm or self-sabotage.

Rest, relax, and pamper yourself in your leisure time: Spend time taking it easy – reading, watching TV, doing a face mask or another indulgent skin treatment, using a body massager, cooking dinner in a silk robe and slippers, lighting a candle, cozying up in a blanket, etc. Allow yourself to feel at peace. Create a sanctuary in your space.

Take time for introspection and self-discovery: Being in any type of relationship with toxic people is draining and can cause you to feel as though you've lost a part of yourself by trying to make the relationship succeed. Now, it's time to reclaim yourself after you've courageously cut out these toxic people from your life. Consider and honor your deepest desires, values, interests, hobbies, lifestyle, goals, aesthetic, food, sexual, entertainment preferences, etc. Go on a self-discovery journey to figure out who you really are, what you believe, and who you will work to become as you enter this new, exciting chapter of your life.

Journal, read, eat healthily, work out, drink plenty of water, and sleep: Go back to the basic healthy habits. Try to journal for at least 5-10 minutes a day (using a 5-minute journal, morning pages [writing 3 pages of stream-of-conscious thoughts first thing in the morning], journal or shadow work prompts), make 2-3 whole food, plant-based meals with carbs, veggies, fruits, proteins, and healthy fats, find some ways to incorporate movement into your day – 30-minute walk or yoga session is enough if that's all you can manage consistently, have your body weight in ounces of water daily, and sleep for around 7-8 hours a night. Do some inner child healing by taking care of your core needs.

Indulge in all of your favorites: There's a lot of fun you can have when you have total freedom regarding your daily activities and choices. Give yourself permission to enjoy this solitude. Wear your favorite outfits every day (occasion-appropriate options, of course), including pajamas, loungewear, lingerie, and accessories. Make your favorite meals and snacks throughout the week (incorporating some healthy options in there to feel your best – I love a good oatmeal bowl, frozen grapes, baked Japanese sweet potato, or a hummus and vegetable plate). Watch your favorite TV shows or movies. Indulge in a glass of wine you love or reread a favorite book. Create a masterful playlist. Plan a day of your favorite activities (a long walk, getting a coffee, indulging in a spa day, going to a farmer's market, going to a yoga class, etc.) Treat yourself like your own best friend.

Get comfortable doing things alone: Honestly, no one cares or is paying attention to if you're doing activities alone or with someone else. If someone shows too much interest in your solitude, they're probably projecting their own insecurities regarding their perceived social ridicule. Take yourself shopping, to the nail salon, out for a meal, to the movies, etc. alone. Personally, I love doing most of these things alone anyways. Running errands alone gives you some space to clear your mind and think freely.

Define what an ideal social life and/or relationship looks like for you: Once you've become comfortable with yourself and living life on your own terms, it's time to embrace your desire for human connection and socialization. Consider the types of people you want in your life – their values, personalities, interests, goals, favorite activities, relational boundaries, etc., and where/when/how often you want to interact with them.

Create an action plan: Reconnect with the people in your life who continue to show up for you and have been a light through these toxic relationships and their lasting effects over the months or years. Decide on the places, groups, and ways you'll reach out/try to meet these people. Figure out how to expand your network, and make new connections. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. You won't vibe with everyone you meet, but it is worthwhile to engage in small talk with several strangers if even one of these new faces, later on, becomes a good friend or acquaintance. A varied social circle is a great way to enrich your life.

Take small steps, then strides: Be gentle on yourself throughout this entire process. It is perfectly okay to take one day at a time during the grieving process. Everyone's healing journey will look different and evolve at a different pace. Don't let these toxic people remain in your heart, mind, and spirit. Remember that you deserve love, kindness, happiness, success, peace, and patience.

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littlelillycatsworld · 7 months

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weight loss breakdown (for once not a mental one impressive ik)

as promised heres my weight loss breakdown. I have awful brain fog words aren't working properly (using any and all brain power on English rn) and it's a bit all over the place please be patient with me I have most definitely forgotten some stuff I'll update when I remember

this is not healthy this is what works for me I know the limits of my body you are your own person please look after yourself and don't compare yourself to me. I'm a professional ballerina and ex-taekwondow artist

please be polite don't leave unsolicited advice if I need or want it I'll ask and right now I DONT.

I'm not suggesting that anyone should attempt to fallow this since this is actually insane

DRINKS

I drink lemon honey water or tea for breakfast most days depending on how much calorie dread I have (does that make sense?)

I will only allow myself to drink water, tea or diet coke/zero or ultra monster throughout the day

MEALS

OMAD when possible budget is 900 I rarely ever make it close to my budget

I'll only intentionally eat dinner unless forced otherwise. I must burn off whatever I can from dinner since I don't have classes that late

some days it's completely unavoidable and I have to eat snacks due to outside pressure like friends and family or my manager (he's apparently hell bent on keeping my ass alive)

binges happen we (I) acknowledge them we (me) move

if I feel faint when In class nothing matters I WILL eat I cannot run the risk of hurting myself or my dance partner when it's him who will be the one who makes sure i dont hit the ground

META DAYS

meta days are important please take them!

I must allow myself 2 grace days a week and I try to be gentle with myself. (essentially I'm gentle parenting myself on these days)

I try not to fall into my normal over the top exercise routine since I still haven't figured out how to make these days my bitch

my cal budget is normally around 1400 for these days

EXERCISE

I must do 10k steps at least (normally much closer to 25k)

I start every day off with a mile run sometimes 2 (depending on how much I want to not exist and weather conditions)

i go to the gym at my dorm when weather conditions are bad or it's to cold for me I run on the treadmill it's not as mentally stimulating as outside but I don't like the rain ice or wind too much

i can be expected to be dancing for 8-9hrs on my longest day so for the most part I don't need to worry too much about forcing myself to burn calories but it gives me peace of mind I burn an estimated 4500cal these days (impossible to know for sure since 2 teachers don't allow activity trackers)

around 3000 on my normal days but again 2 teachers are a pain In my ass

I play just dance religiously at this point it takes me 2hrs to burn 500 I do this after dinner or twice a day on the weekends where possible.

I still practice taekwondo and go to a studio to do classes once a week but it's not as extreme as it used to be (no longer training 6 days a week and doing competitions)

WEIGHING

I weigh myself most days

I don't weigh myself during my meta days I don't need the added mental stress

I get weighed by my school once a week but only update my profile if there is a big difference either up or down (accountability and all that)

FASTS

I normally do 24hr since omad

I don't count my medication, gum, diet coke/zero tea or lemon honey water as breaking my fast. if this keeps me mentally stable then idk it doesn't count (politely eat a brick if you try to tell me otherwise)

I always try to get at least one longer fast a week normally after dinner on wednesday to Friday dinner sometimes I can make it to Saturday dinner it just depends on who's around to make me eat

if your wondering how I've survived this far all I can say is I'm a spiteful little bitch who's going to prove a whole list of people wrong

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desiderio-dixon · 7 months

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Darkest Before the Dawn

Chapter 6 : But I'm Dreaming of You

Pairing : Daryl Dixon x f!reader (endgame), (unrequited) Glenn Rhee x f!reader

Series summary : When Glenn Rhee comes into your life, you become convinced he's a guardian angel sent by your late best friend. You think he's your soulmate. But then he falls for the farmer's daughter, and you find that your own angel may be a little more blatant than expected; wings and all.

Chapter summary : The CDC proves to be a place of refuge...and wine. You get drunk, talk to Daryl, and have a dream that will linger in your mind for a long while.

Chapter warnings : OKAY!!! LET'S HOPE I GET EVERYTHING HAHA!!! Smut!!!! Reader has a sex dream that includes piv, male masturbation, fantasies including oral (f receiving), daryl is thirsting, language, drinking, pleaseeee let me know if I missed anything!!

Word count : 2k

A/N : so things are heating up now

❀~~__~~❀~~__~~❀

The CDC had proven to be some form of miracle. After being on the road, tired and hungry and hopeless, sitting at a large table filled with food and wine was a dream. You sat next to Glenn, head airy and light as you entwined your arms and sipped your wine glasses. After all the loss, this felt like a win.

Your friends gathered around, joking and laughing, sharing stories, it gave your mind and body a peace you hadn't had in months. Even Daryl, who you'd thus far known to be cold and guarded, is nursing his own glass and tossing jokes. "Keep drinking, little man. I wanna see how red your face can get!" He says to Glenn, who giggles over his glass. You laugh, giving Glenn a gentle shove. Daryl points to you next. "You too, girl." You salute with your glass, tipping it back. Daryl refills it. It's fun and lighthearted and hell, it's exactly what you need.

And then Shane ruins it. While Shane goes through his interrogation, you do your best to block out the sad tale he forces out of Jenner. Instead, you stay silent, tossing back refill after refill of your wine and spoonful after spoonful of pasta.

By the end of the dinner, you're nothing short of wasted. Prior to the apocalypse, you hadn't much experience with alcohol. That, in combination with the lack of drinking for months, had thoroughly set you on the path to slurred words and stumbled steps.

You shamble through Jenner's tour, tripping over your own two feet. He finally says something your drunken mind deems important: hot water. There are limited showers, so everyone argues over who goes first. You're too out of it to argue, but someone must state your case, because you're being ushered off in the first group. "Because you'll pass out if you don't go first." Someone says. You take their word for it. Maybe it'll sober you up some.

When the hot water cascades over your back, it feels like it takes the weight of the world away with it as it flows into the drain. You smile into the open air, careless and drunk and happy for the first time in weeks. Getting to wash the grease out of your hair with running water is a privilege you'd thought long gone. The shower is even stocked with razors, but in your drunken state you know that's not a good idea. Instead, you lather in the scented bodywash laid out, scrubbing your skin with a heavy hand. The steam surrounding you begins to smell like roses and lavender. You breathe it in greedily. There are few good smells these days. This place, the CDC, it feels like life before all the death. When you slip, landing thankfully uninjured on your backside, you acknowledge it to be time to pry yourself out from under the stream.

Leaving the bathroom, you stumble through the halls. You can't remember what room was designated to you, and your eyes grow heavier each second. You decide to peek inside one of them, finding the vast space seemingly empty.

You make your way sloppily into the room, flopping face first onto the bed, wrapped in nothing but a bath towel. "Tha' hell?" Typically, the sudden voice would scare you, but you simply can't be bothered.

Instead, you don't even lift your head, mumbling out a muffled, "What?" Into the sheets.

Daryl stares at the back of your head dumbfoundedly. He sits on the couch at the opposite end of the room, nursing a bottle of liquor. He was enjoying his peace and quiet, but of course, you of all people can't allow that. Still, seeing a woman naked and sprawled out on the bed he claimed as his own was certainly an unexpected end to his night.

He thinks you must've fallen asleep in his lack of response, so he stands, approaching the bed quietly. He reaches his arm out to your shoulder, intending to shake you awake to get the hell off his bed, but before he can make contact, you turn and grab his wrist. "What are you doing?" You slur, eyeing him suspiciously. He scoffs, wrestling his arm out of your weak grip and shuffling back a few steps. Your eyes follow him intensely.

"Tryin' to get you out. Ain't in the mood to babysit!" He defends, wiping his arm of where you'd touched him. Your hand was warm, and wet with lingering moisture from the shower. Droplets still glide across your shoulders over your arms. All of your skin radiates with a dewy, clean glow. He feels a familiar burn in his ears, averting his eyes. He pretends the painting hanging on the wall to his left is beyond interesting--but he honestly couldn't give a damn about it. Despite not looking at you, he can still smell you. In fact, he's sure you've infected the whole room with your post-shower scent. It's floral and sweet and very you. He hates that he feels that way.

"...Well! Sorry, Mr. Dickhead! Couldn't find mine and you're a stupid hunter so I didn't even know you were there!" You dramatically flail, tired and drunk.

Daryl huffs, narrowing his eyes at you. "Why don't ya' go find yer damn boyfriend!" He yells. You flinch at his volume, tucking your arms around yourself. He feels a twinge of guilt in his belly.

"He's not my boyfriend." You mumble, turning to lie on your side in a tucked ball. "Prolly won't ever will be." You draw out sadly. Daryl doesn't feel bad for you. You don't need someone like Glenn. Between the two of you, the world would eat you both alive.

But he knows he shouldn't say that. You're sad, drunk, and probably seeking comfort. He's not sure how to give that, so he sighs, sitting on the very edge of the bed, far away from your body. "Why not?" He asks, glancing at you and then back to the floor, lifting a thumb to his mouth to chew.

"I like him, I think. But I don't think he likes me." Your voice trembles, small and quaint like a child. "He's all I have now." That breaks you, tears now fully streaming.

"Nah." Daryl says simply, letting the word hang in the air for a moment. "All our people-- they love ya." He looks at you when he says it, and the blue of his eyes almost shocks you. You can't remember a time he's made such intense eye contact with you, so you allow your teary eyes to roam freely over his own. Getting lost in the different shades and the flow of them into one another. You almost forget why you're crying.

You break out into a drunken, sappy smile. You lift your upper body off the bed, towel slipping down further. Daryl tries not to look. "Thank you, Daryl." You say through a smile that makes your eyes disappear, so wide that it coats your entire face. He flushes. He can't say that a woman, or a man for that matter, has ever looked at him like this. So happy because of something he said. "Will you help me find my room?" He hates the disappointment that flushes over him, but he nods anyway.

He helps you up, and practically carries you through the halls until you come across an open door with your bag on the bed. You hold your towel up as you stumble into the room, holding the door frame with the other hand. You stop before closing the door, giving Daryl a coy smile. "Goodnight, Daryl." You tell him before shutting the door. For a reason he can't identify, those words ring through his mind all night.

Hearing the click of the door shutting, you shrug off your towel. You throw yourself down onto the bed in all your naked glory, wrapping yourself in the pillowy soft comforter and drifting off almost instantaneously.

In the hazy warmth of your dream, you lay among a bed of pillows on your side. You're naked, bare skin brushing against the sheets lazily. Behind you, you feel the warmth of a lover's presence. When you crane your neck, it's Glenn. He smiles at you in that gentle way, running the back of his hand over your cheek. It's gentle, wholesome. You lean in for a kiss, closing your eyes. He meets you halfway, gripping your cheekbone softly.

But, as the kiss grows longer, his lips get rougher, his hand runs lower to caress your neck with a calloused hand. When you open your eyes, it's no longer Glenn. Instead, it's Daryl, eyes blown with lust. He pulls you back in, and you make no move to resist. He bites your lip and presses his front into your back. Bare skin on skin, you feel everything. You feel him, in all his glory. He's trailing one hand down your stomach, applying pressure to push you into him. He starts a slow grind against your backside. "Daryl," You moan out breathlessly when his hand slips between your legs. Your own hand grabs his bicep, hips starting to move against his fingers and his own hips behind you. Then, his hand moves away from you. You whine, but his hand grips your inner thigh hard. And then he's lifting your leg, placing it over his hip and notching himself on your entrance. You gasp, turning to make eye contact and nod feverishly. Just as he starts to push in--

Your eyes snap open, lungs grasping desperately for the breath you'd been holding. It's still dark, likely only an hour since you'd fallen asleep. You've slightly sobered up, but now your skin is clammy and your heart is racing. You wish you could deny enjoying the dream, but the slick you feel between your legs betrays you. Still, you feel a weight of guilt. And so, you decide to just enter back into a frustrating, restless sleep.

❀~~__~~❀~~__~~❀

When Daryl enters the bathroom, finally ready to take a shower, he's almost angry at the smell that greets him. That same smell you'd infested his room with. He undresses quickly and haphazardly, tossing his clothes throughout the room. Ever since his earlier encounter with you, he's felt strange.

Hot, clammy. With a ball almost akin to anticipation sinking in his gut. He knows what this is. Knows it when his head starts to swim in the steamy room. He hasn't felt this way in so long. The feeling in his stomach grows and tingles into his toes under the stream of water, he's getting hard. He tries to convince himself he's only feeling this way because of the sudden sense of security, and maybe the alcohol. But as he grips himself, taking a shuddering breath, all he can think of is you.

It's wrong. God, it's so wrong. But no matter how much he tries to push the thoughts away, they always come back to you. You, wet and naked sprawled over his bed. In his thoughts, he tugs the towel off your skin, revealing everything. He'd treat you right, he thinks, panting. He'd kiss your skin and taste the fresh shower water lingering, he'd quench his thirst on your skin. He'd breathe you in before kissing you senseless. Though, he doesn't have much experience kissing. Still, what he lacks in experience he'd make up for in enthusiasm with you. For you. He'd kiss up and down your legs, from your ankles to the insides of your thighs, to where he really wants to kiss. You'd be tangy on his tongue, and maybe you'd whimper out his name. Daryl's gut grows tight, so tight that his toes curl against the slippery shower floor. Maybe your eyebrows would furrow, maybe your hands would tangle in his hair, gripping and pulling. He can almost feel it.

Suddenly, he's grunting, hips shooting forward as warmth washes over him. The shower water cascades over his form, washing his acts down the drain. There's a lingering guilt, but the relief he feels from head to toe overpowers everything. He feels more relaxed than he has in weeks.

You just never have to know that he'd ever jacked off to you, and he never has to know that you dreamt of him taking you apart. Simple enough.

❀~~__~~❀~~__~~❀

⤿Taglist (Open)

@celtic-crossbow @scudslut @itwasntaphasema @ryoujoking @i-wear-wet-socks313

#daryl dixion imagine #daryl dixon #daryl fanfiction #daryl imagines #daryl x female reader #daryl x reader #daryl x y/n #daryl x you #the walking dead daryl #twd fanfiction #twd imagine #twd daryl #twd smut #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl smut

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butchreyes · 3 days

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@carlos-in-glasses @strandnreyes and @heartstringsduet tagged me in seven sentence sunday.... how about the whole thing instead?

jet-setters / 3.9k / rated e

carlos and tk take their second honeymoon, and tk is a spoiled brat (affectionate).

Carlos tips his head against the edge of the jacuzzi, his eyes closed against the late afternoon sun, warm water lapping at his neck. He’d only meant to take a quick soak, something to soothe his muscles after a long day of hiking. But the tub has a certain hypnotic effect— the low rumble of jets are like white noise, lulling him halfway to sleep. He’d been happy to indulge TK with this vacation after their dud of a honeymoon, which Carlos spent sitting by the pool in monastic silence, pinned by the weight of his recent loss. TK had been patient with him then, for the most part. He tended to Carlos like a wounded bird; bringing him drinks garnished with huge pieces of fruit, poking him occasionally to test his reactions. This was probably all just as much for TK’s entertainment as it was for Carlos’s own good. Still, Carlos felt he owed his husband a do-over. They picked up a few brochures featuring local attractions in the resort lobby, and have been steadily crossing them off since their arrival: guided tours of ancient ruins, marketplaces where the locals charge exuberantly for woven bracelets and colorful rocks that supposedly possess healing powers. The novelty of it all delights TK, and Carlos has been following his lead— the doting, obedient husband, his fanny pack stuffed with sunscreen and bottled water, haggling with vendors over whatever cheap souvenirs TK points at. All the while, TK keeps looking at him with that hopeful smile of his, trying to gauge whether Carlos is still having fun. Of course he’s having fun, Carlos tells him— he always has fun with TK. But they could have fun anywhere. They could have fun back home in Austin. Carlos would much rather take advantage of all the things they don’t have at home: breakfast brought right to their door, rose petals on fresh linens he doesn’t have to wash himself, a private patio with a jacuzzi long enough to span the full length of his body. He stretches his legs and lets his feet float to he surface, toes poking out into fresh, cool air. It’s nice enough, he thinks, just to float here. Surrounded by warmth; unburdened by the weight of his body, the sound of his thoughts. It’s almost meditative.

read the rest on ao3

tags under cut!

@paperstorm @reyesstrand @strandnreyes @emsprovisions @alrightbuckaroo

@mooshkat @carlos-tk @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @welcometololaland @rmd-writes

#by charlie #911 lone star fic #tarlos #tarlos fic #carlos reyes #tk strand #fic: jet-setters

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gliphyartfan · 6 months

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Hiiii, I’m back.

FINALLY! You guys have no idea how frustrating this guy was!

But I did it! May the next post happen much soon! Sohelpmegod

@yanderelinkeduniverse @ice-cream-writes-stuff @linked-heroes @screaming-until-god-hears-me @imprisioned-in-the-hole @crestfallenmermaidan @eternadreeblissa @lovanmari

Well no more talk! Only story! Enjoy!

———

——

—

"Was dad upset with you today?"

"..."

Colin…didn't really expect an answer, he already knew.

Had seen the frustrated look on his father's face.

And Link, he had simply stood there silently.

When he wasn't found in the village, Colin always found him by the Ordon spring.

Sometimes with Epona, mostly alone. Link just stared into the crystal clear waters, never once looking away.

Colin observes Link's quiet and solemn routine by the entrance of the spring. As he watches, Colin notices something unusual - Link has a jug that belongs to his father, one that Colin had been warned against sipping from. Colin continues to watch Link from a distance, observing the way he silently drinks from the jug and stares into the clear waters.

Just another oddity in the growing list connected to the rancher.

For many days, Link had been behaving utterly odd.

Looking at everyone strangely, almost panicked, as if he no longer understood how to interact with any of them.

Everyone had been whispering about it, yet no one could figure out what caused him to suddenly change so much out of the blue.

Yet despite his strangeness, he still helped Colin's mother Uli, still patrolled alongside Colin's father Rusl. Still dealt with the goats and cared for Epona.

But it was almost…like he was simply going through the actions.

His body was moving but his eyes were empty. Even when he gave everyone a smile, it was crooked, like he didn't even have the energy to smile properly.

Colin watches as Link takes another swig from the jug, his eyes never leaving the reflective surface of the water. The typically cheerful rancher seems distant, lost in thought. Colin has never seen Link like this before, and it honestly makes him uneasy.

Despite his anxiety, Colin decides to approach Link, wondering what could be going on in the older boy's mind.

The sound of the water splashing against the shore and the distant bleating of the goats fills the air. Link doesn't seem to notice Colin's presence, instead continuing to gaze absently into the water. Colin approaches him from the side and looks at the jug of mead in Link's hands.

"He and mom were talking about you." He said quietly, sitting next to him, "I think he knows you've been taking his jug. They are worried."

Link turns to look at Colin, his eyes still clouded and distant. "I see," he says, his voice quiet and soft. He takes a long drink from the jug. He sets it down beside him, his gaze returning to the water.

Colin watches as Link takes a deep breath, as if trying to gather his thoughts.

Colin, curious and worried about Link's distant behavior, gently asks, "Is there…something wrong, Link? You’ve been… different."

Link stays silent for what feels like an eternity to Colin, his gaze fixed on the water. Just as Colin is about to give up on getting an answer, "I'm just...tired, Colin." Link finally speaks up, his voice barely above a whisper, "Tired of...so much, tired of…losing…so much."

Link's words hang heavily in the air, the weight of his emotions palpable. Colin, still young and inexperienced, didn’t and couldn’t fully understand the depth of what Link is feeling. He looks up at Link, trying to process the words. "But you always win in the end, don't you?"

"This...isn't something I can win.."

Link's reply cuts through the air like a knife, his voice laced with a sadness that only those who have experienced great loss can truly understand. Colin looks up at Link, searching for some hint of the Link he has always known, the one who is brave, strong, and seeming to never falter when trouble was about.

Colin watched the person he saw as an older brother stare into the waters of the spring.

He looked so…lost…but it wasn't like he was searching for anything…

It was almost as if he had long given up when just some time ago he had been fine.

"Link…did you…lose something important?” Colin didn't really know why he said that. But it made sense, in a way.

He lost something, Colin didn't know what but it must have been so important that it made him like this.

Made him behave so strangely.

Link continues to stare into the water, his mind lost in thought. He seems far away, consumed by his own emotions. Colin's question hangs in the air, unanswered. Link's shoulders sag, as if the weight of the world is resting on them.

Finally, he speaks, his voice quiet and defeated.

"I don't know..."

Link's response only deepens the mystery surrounding his current state of mind. The warmth of the setting sun does little to dispel the chill that Colin now feels in the air.

"I don't…know if I lost anything…anyone…" Link continues unprompted, "I…think I did…I think I lost some…one..so..so precious…"

Colin's heart tightens as he hears the pain in Link's voice. He gazes at his older brother, trying to find the right words to say. He opens his mouth, then closes it again, at a loss.

"But I don't know if I lost anyone…and that scares me…" Link took another drink from the jug, "I think..I'd be happier if I had lost someone.."

"Why?" Colin couldn't help but ask.

"…Because it means they had to have existed for me to lose…"

Link's words hang heavy in the air, as Colin looks at him with a mixture of confusion and concern. The kind Hyrulean boy that Colin had always known seemed to have been replaced by a hollow, lost shell of his former self.

Colin takes a deep breath, searching for the right words to say. He wants to offer Link some encouragement, some glimmer of hope to hold onto. But as he opens his mouth, the gnawing silence seems to swallow his words before they can even leave his lips.

Because no matter how much he wanted to help, Colin was just a kid. A kid that didn't really understand what Link was talking about.

It all confused Colin just as much as it worried him.

Colin sits next to Link in silence, his heart heavy with concern. He tries to offer an apology, hoping it might bring some comfort to his brother. "I'm sorry I can't help you, Link," Colin says softly, his voice laced with sadness.

Link doesn’t look away from the waters. "It's alright, Colin," he says, his voice quiet and devoid of emotion. "I don't think anyone can help me with this." He takes another drink from the jug.

That just made Colin feel worse.

Eventually Colin glances up at the sky and notices that it has started to darken. Reluctantly, he accepts that it's time for him to return home.

He takes one last look at Link, who still sits at the edge of the spring, lost in his thoughts, like the weight of the world was seemingly on his shoulders.

Colin sighed heavily, feeling a knot tighten in his stomach as he turned and began to make his way back to the village.

And Link...

...simply took another swing from the jug, the ache in his chest gnawing within him that he knew wouldn't be filled.

He had lost everything that had become so dear to him...

He didn’t know if he ever had it to begin with…

And all he wanted to do was simply forget, if it meant an end to the horrible pain.

——

It was familiar enough.

The Bublins charging into the spring.

The force that sent him collapsing into the spring waters beneath him.

Uli’s tears and Rusl’s grave face.

The forceful tug into the Twilight.

The agony of his wolf form wrapping around him…

The cell and cuff that bound him in place…

That laughter…that mischievous grin…

At one time, he had longed to hear and see this all again. Longed for the mischievous smile and arrogant words spoken at him. so much so that it was as if he needed it like air.

But…

…

…Funny how what he once wanted so badly was now the very last thing he ever wanted to see.

He didn’t know how to feel about it…

—-

Link gasps, collapsing to his knees, his sword stabbing into the ground in order to keep him upright.

“Why do you continue to fail?”

Link shakes his head, grimacing.

“I…I don’t…mean to…I-“

“You must confront that which you seek to deny, else it damns you to further loss…now..” The point of a blade was aimed at the hero.

“Again.”

“…Yes sir…”

—-

“You have a renewed burden."

He chose not to reply to the fortune teller.

At the urging of Midna, who's curiosity over talk of someone who could see into the future had garnered her interest, he had gone to visit Madame Fanadi.

Personally he'd have simply gone to the next location needing his attention.

He didn't want to be here, he already knew what he needed to do.

"You are lost, blindingly wandering through a world of memories long since past." She continued, "Eyes open, but unseeing as you stumble along your unpaved path."

Madame Fanadi's words hang heavy in the air, her piercing gaze never leaving the Hero of Twilight.

"Bound by chains forged from your own guilt and regret." She says, her voice taking on a somber tone.

Link's eyes are focusing on a point beyond Madame Fanadi. He can feel Midna's gaze on him from within his shadow, but he doesn't acknowledge it.

"Your burden wishes to trap you," she continues, "It would consume you whole, if you let it."

"…And why shouldn't I let it?" The words left his lips before he registered that he even said it.

Madame Fanadi's gaze does not falter, as if she had expected this reaction. "There is hope, even in your darkest memories," she says gently. "You have a chance to break free from your burden and find redemption."

He scoffs. "Redemption?"

He doesn't deserve it. None of them did.

Damned to relive these days. Damned to question whether he was truly reliving them or simply following a pattern that was laid before him. Worse still to realize that it was possibly all a figment of his mind.

(If they all truly exist... he hopes they are suffering like he was…)

If his Goddess truly existed or not...

He hoped she never forgave them.

None of them were worthy of it.

Twilight's hands curl into fists in his lap, knuckles turning white.

He wasn’t worthy of it.

"You wish to be consumed by the pain, seeing no point in continuing on," she says. "It's eating away at you, consuming you from the inside. Most curious for a young man like yourself to hold such regret."

Twilight's eyes, still fixed on a point beyond the fortune teller, narrow.

Madame Fanadi continues to watch him, calm, patient. As if for her, the passing of time meant nothing. "You are burdened by memories, young hero," she says softly. "Memories that haunt you, memories that bring you pain. Or rather, it is someone within those memories."

Twilight tensed, his fists squeezing tighter.

"You want to look away, to run from these thoughts, but you know that you can't escape them."

"That's enough..." He tells her, his voice low.

"Tell me young man, do you believe if you ignore these regrets, that somehow you'll be free of the consequences you suffer?"

"I won’t hear anymore..."

"Those who fought beside you, the trust you hold for them in your heart, it is strong and bright despite the darkness swirling within." Madame Fanadi continued, "If they stood before you, would they not be suffering such agony as well?"

She tapped her chin, an almost sorrowful smile on her face.

"After all, are you not all guilty of the same regret?"

"Stop it!" Twilight was looking directly into the woman's eyes, his own shining with anger and warning.

Madame Fanadi does not flinch under the provoked man's gaze, but rather, she holds it, her smile never wavering. "You are trying to hide away from the truth you created, young hero," she says. "But you can only hide so long before that truth finds you."

"I'm leaving." He stands, uncaring that his seat is knocked over.

Madame Fanadi's smile doesn't falter as he stood up, her eyes following him. "Remember, young hero, the truth has a way of finding us all." She says this softly, almost like a whisper. The room feels suddenly colder, it would excuse the trembling of his shoulders, and the candles flicker as if in response to her words.

He storms towards the exit, his footsteps echoing in the stillness of the room.

—

—-

He coughs, a dribble of spit escaping the corner of his mouth as he clutches his stomach.

“Had this been a true battle, you would have been cut down several strikes ago.”

“I-I’m so-“ a kick to his side sends him sprawling onto the ground once more.

“Don’t apologize. Improve.” Once more, the blade is pointed at him.

“Again.”

Link clenches his teeth, trembling with exertion as he reaches for his sword.

"What the hell was that Link?"

As he storms out of Fanadi's Palace, he hears Midna's voice calling out to him. She sounds concerned and a little frustrated, and Twilight knows that she wants him to explain what just happened.

He stays silent and continues to walk away from the building.

Midna, not used to being ignored, pesters him as he makes his way through and out the city.

Link stops in his tracks when they are a good distance away, looking down at Midna, who had appeared in front of him, with a mixture of annoyance and detachment.

"I didn't like what she was saying," he says, his gaze flickering away from Midna's.

Midna crosses her arms, her expression skeptical.

"Are you still worried over those kids?" She asks, sighing as if she figured out his problem already.

"They are safe in that village, that shaman seems to have a good head on his shoulders." She said.

Link's eyes narrow at Midna, shaking his head.

He wasn't going to bother correcting her assumptions.

What he suffers through happened long after she was gone.

...in his memories anyway.

"..I won't let things get in the way of what we're doing." He says quietly, looking away from her.

Midna frowned, eyeing him for a moment before returning to his shadow without another word.

Though he was not stupid to think that was the end of this conversation.

The wind rustles through the trees, carrying the scent of blooming flowers and the sound of chirping birds. The sky is a clear blue, with only a few wispy clouds visible. It's a peaceful scene, but Link's mind is anything but.

He closed his eyes, hoping the ambiance of the area would pull him into its peaceful embrace.

It was a fruitless effort of course, but it was better than suffering the ache in his chest.

—-

“Again.”

“I’m TRYING!” He growls, grunting as he tiredly raises his blade to block the strike aimed toward him.

“Success must come after attempting, yet you seem to linger at the ‘attempting’ stage of learning.” A twist of a wrist and the rancher’s sword is knocked from his hand and clatters to the ground several feet away from him.

“Again.”

Link can only bite back the snarl that tried to escape him, his hands in tight fists as he steps towards his fallen blade.

Link kept a smile on his face when he arrived in Kakariko Village, keeping the troubles that plagued him from seeping through as Talo greeted him excitedly.

Beth was still with Colin and Malo had his store.

Humoring Talo's rambling as he walked though the village, he soon waved him off when he approached the inn.

Entering the room, Link can see that Colin is resting peacefully. Beth is sitting in a chair next to him, her head resting on the armrest as she dozes off.

The warmth and quietness of the room wrap around the Hero. Beth doesn't stir from her sleep, and Colin looks peaceful, his chest rising and falling rhythmically. The silence almost tricks him into relaxing into it's embrace, but his thoughts keep invading, making it difficult to truly relax. He takes a seat next to Beth, watching Colin closely.

Truthfully he had no interest in being here.

But he had no interest in speaking to Midna either.

It was either here or back in town, and the rancher wanted to be as far away from that fortune teller as possible.

Link carefully lays a spare blanket over Beth, tucking it around her shoulders to keep her warm. He then turns his attention back to Colin, not really looking at him, merely giving his eyes a point to focus on.

The silence in the inn is only broken by the soft snoring of Beth and the rhythmic breathing of Colin. Link's constant attempts to find solace in the peaceful atmosphere are in vain, as his thoughts keep drifting back to Midna and the unspoken tension between them.

He can feel her eyes on him, even from within his shadow, and he knows she's waiting for him to address the elephant in the room.

This version of her may not have known him as well as previously, but she had a keen eye when she so chose.

But he refused to speak to her about it.

He didn't even want to think about any of it.

As Link sits in the quiet inn, it's as if he's viewing the world through a foggy glass, unable to truly connect with it.

He...didn't want to be here.

He takes a slow deep breath, in through his nose and out through his mouth.

He doesn't want to do any of this again. (Didn’t want to contemplate if he was doing it all over again.)

All he wants is to wake up back at camp, to hear Wild (his mentee, his cub) humming as he finishes breakfast. To hear the others (pack, trusted) slowly awaken at the smell of fresh food.

To hear Her voice, rough with sleep, greet them good morning,

To be able to reach out and cup her cheek, to feel the joy as She sleepily nuzzles against it, trusting that he would never harm her. Seeing Her almost fall back to sleep before he softly calls Her name to keep her awake.

Link's thoughts are consumed by longing for a past that seemed to never truly have happened, for the companionship he once considered so important. He closes his eyes, trying to imagine himself back at camp with his friends. He can almost hear everyone's chatter as they prepare for the day, the smell of Wild's cooking.

He can almost feel the warmth of the morning sun on his face, hear the sound of the birds chirping in the trees. He remembers the way Her sleepy laughter would fill the air as she conversed with the others. He remembers the feeling of camaraderie, of belonging to something bigger than himself.

He remembers his pack and he misses them all so very much.

His sword brothers...he longed to stand before them once again.

To be able to walk up to them...reach out his arms...

( And strangle the utter life out of each one of them for daring to damn him to this horrible curs- )

He tenses when he hears Beth mumble something in her sleep, relaxing when she didn't saying anything else.

He focused on some deep slow breath. He could hear his blood rushing in his ears.

He wants to lash out in some way, but he knows he can't let himself get carried away by his anger. He takes a few more deep breaths, trying to clear his mind.

As he opens his eyes, he notices Beth stirring in her sleep again. He watches her for a moment, listening to her soft breathing. He can't help but feel a twinge of envy towards her.

Link's gaze remains fixed on Beth, studying her peaceful expression as she sleeps. He can't help but think about how carefree and untroubled she looks, free from the burdens and responsibilities that weigh on his own shoulders. The envy he feels turns into a pang of sadness, and his heart feels heavy in his chest.

'Was it so wrong to want to stand by her side?' He mouthed silently to himself.

He doesn't want what he remembers to be a dream. He didn't want to think that the love he gained for such an incredible person to have been all for nothing.

He just wants to go back to his pack, back to Her.

(Even if his pack would damn him to suffer this cruelt-)

He ran both his hands through hair, letting one drop while the other kept a grip on his head.

He didn't want to do any of this! He didn't want to do this! Again or not! He simply wanted this journey far away from his present. To become a long done memory already.

Was he cursed to relive this path over and over?

Would a chance at life beyond the hero title be a failed dream?

He just wanted someone to tell him...

'..Is there an ending to all this?' He whispered to himself, it felt like it echoed in the silence of the room.

—

"...just kill me..."

Link's voice is barely above a whisper, his shoulders slumped in defeat. The Shade's sword remains at his neck, the weight of it a reminder of his mortality. The ghostly swordsman studies Link.

"Please…I rather die believing in the illusion my mind showed me, than live long enough to find it was all a lie."

The Shade's gaze lingers on Link for a moment longer, then he slowly withdraws his sword, sheathing it with a soft hiss. "I will not grant you such a release," he says into the silence.

"The strength of your heart…has disappointed me."

Link stays silent, not meeting the Shade's gaze yet feeling the weight of it.

He feels empty…

He feels defeated.

—

When Midna finally manages to confront him, it's as sudden and as ferocious as he always expected her to be.

Link could feel the air escape his lungs as the Twili's versatile orange hair slammed him against the dungeon floor.

"You're not avoiding this any longer you goat-wrangling mutt!" She hissed, Twili magic crackling around her. "You better tell me what's been going on with you or I'll make you."

Midna's eyes glow with a fierce determination as she pins Link against the floor. Her hair holding him in place. Link struggles to breathe, caught off guard by Midna's sudden attack. He can feel the heat of her anger and the intensity of her gaze.

"I've tried to give you space," Midna said, hands clenched.

"But you've been avoiding even talking to me, and I won't stand for it any longer. You will tell me what's been going on with you, or I will force it out of you."

The air is thick with tension as Link struggles to break free from Midna's grasp.

"One hell of a time to corner me like this." He grunts, not bothering to struggle. He knew no amount of struggling to free him from her grasp.

"I thought you wanted me to keep moving?" He asks, trying to buy some time to gather his thoughts. Midna's sudden aggression, had taken him by surprise, and he's still reeling from his own inner turmoil.

Midna's grip on Link tightens, and her eyes narrow. "I did," she says, her voice low and dangerous. "But you've been doing a rather good job keeping me from asking you anything, and I can't stand it any longer."

"Well maybe just keep out of my personal business and you'll spare yourself the frustration." He glares at her, but Midna's gaze doesn't waver. Instead, her eyes seem to bore into him, searching for the truth. Link feels a shiver run down his spine as he realizes that she won't let go.

"What is wrong with you?" He growls at her, "I have done everything you wanted since you freed me from that cell. Is asking for some privacy in regards to my own life that difficult for you to accept?"

"Not when it ends with you lashing out!" She snaps back, her grip on him tightening even more. Link winces as she presses down on him for a moment.

"You nearly attacked that one drunk guy in castle town!"

"He wouldn't leave me alone." Was all he said.

"All he said was That he'd feel sorry for whatever girl decides to fall for a, oh what was it he said? 'Grumpy country bumpkin.'? Something about how that girl would just have her heart broken."

"Wouldn't be the first time I've been called that." He answered, though the people who called him that were trusted friends.

"Oh? So you decided to nearly yank his arm from his shoulder socket because he just wouldn't stop talking?"

He didn't care if that stupid drunk rambled on like he had.

But to say whoever gave their heart to him would suffer heartbreak...

(Was he that terrible of choice for a life partner? A husband? A mate? Is that why he hurt-)

"Nothing he said was worth focusing on."

"And those knights! You snarled at them when they made a stupid joke! SNARLED!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands up when she saw his stubborn expression. "You looked like the very wolf you can change into. They ran without a second go waste!”

"The knights of Castle town are worthless and cowardly." He growled, a hand coming up to grab part of her hair. "They don’t dare approach me if I was in my beast form, it genuinely makes me wonder how they’d handle an actual war?"

Midna's eyes narrowed even further. "You can't go around attacking people. You're supposed to be a hero aren't you? Not some brute."

"Oh?" He asks, a faux look of curiosity on his face. "Would me being a brute go against your goals?"

"Now you're going after me?" She scoffs, crossing her arms and legs as she stares down at him.

"You were always strange since we met, but ever since you spoke to that fortune teller, you've been completely out of line."

"Simply because you're making assumptions about my situation-"

"Because you never talk to me!"

"Well maybe it's because I don't WANT to talk to you! Have you ever thought of THAT?" He spat at her, struggling for the first time since being pinned to the floor.

"You-"

"I've done EVERYTHING you wanted me to do! EVERYTHING. I have not made a SINGLE complaint since you saved me from the cell! Not one! I think I have been a rather good 'servant' don't you think?"

He clenched his hands into tight fists.

"But it seems no matter what I do. I'm NEVER good enough for you. For ANYONE." He shakes his head, his face twisting in pain.

"Was what I've done so bad that I have to be cursed like this? To be forced to live through it all over again? To question what’s true or fabricated in my mind?!?”

"Link-"

"I didn't mean to!" He shouts, his voice cracking.

"I-I...I just.." Wanted to be by Her side…

That's all he wanted. He wanted to be with Her. Hold Her. Kiss Her.

To be granted the honor of being called Her partner, perhaps even Her everything.

Wanted to never let her out of his sight again. To take her somewhere far away and start a life with just the two of them.

"What do I have to do to fix this?" He whispers, his head bowed.

'Link, focus-"

"WHO DO I HAVE TO KILL IN ORDER TO WAKE UO FROM THIS DAMNED NIGHTMARE!!" He roars at her. Midna actually rears back at the unhinged look overtaking his face.

“Hey! Watch it!”

Link's words hang heavy in the air, and Midna watches as he struggles against her grip, his eyes blazing with...something..

"Let go of me," He growls, his voice barely above a whisper. "I mean it Midna. Let. Go."

Midna stays silent, hesitation flickering in her eye.

Something was wrong. This was not how she expected this to go.

She watches as he struggles against her grip, his eyes blazing with an intensity that makes her want to keep him pinned down until whatever was happening was over.

"Link, focus," Midna tries to interject, but he talks over her.

"Let go of me..."

"Link, I-" she starts, but he cuts her off.

"I said let go," he repeats.

"Damnit, you’re not ok!" She says, refusing to let him go.

She didn't know WHAT he would do if she did.

"Let go of me Midna..."

"What'll happen if I do?"

"Let me GO.." He brings his head up and lets the back of it hit the floor beneath him.

Midna watches as Link's head hits the floor, wincing at the sound of impact.

“Heheh…” He begins to laugh, it was not pleasant to hear, “Do I have to wake myself up? Is that how I'll return? Am I too stubborn to wake up?”

That look in his eyes. He's not in his right mind. She tightens her hold on him.

"Link. You're not thinking straight. You need to calm down." She says firmly, trying to reason with him.

He brings his head up, only to hit it against the floor again, harder.

“I need to wake up…they’re waiting for me…”

The sound of Link's head hitting the floor echoes through the wide space, and Midna can't help but feel a sense of alarm. She tightens her grip on him, trying to keep him still and prevent him from hurting himself any further.

"Link, stop it!" She commands, her voice firm and authoritative.

"I need to wake up..." His voice sounds fragile, trembling as he brings his head up as best as he could and to slam it back down against the floor. “She’s unprotected…we have to protect Her…”

(He couldn’t lose her again. He simply couldn’t.)

Midna watches in horror as Link continues to bang his head against the floor, each impact causing the sound of his head hitting the hard surface to almost echo in the open space. The scent of blood making it's appearance.

"I need to wake up.." he repeats, desperate, as if he were on the verge of tears.

His mind overwhelmed by everything he'd be desperately pushing away since he awoke back in Ordon.

He couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to return to his pack. He wanted to return to (y/n).

He wanted this all to be a horrible dream.

Midna, completely out of her depth, lifts Link away from the floor, the back of his head leaving a splatter of blood on the rough surface.

She slams him back down, causing the air to escape his lungs.

"I'm sorry Link," she says, not giving him a chance to register what's happening as she releases him and turns her hair into a fist. "But you need to calm down!"

Link has just a moment to register what she said as her fist collides with the side of his face.

…

….

Midna breathes a sigh of relief as Link's body goes slack, her makeshift fist leaving a rather large red mark on his cheek.

..What the hell…

She knows that she had to do something to stop him from hurting himself, but that didn't help the twinge of guilt after hitting him. She floats down close to him, brushing his bangs out of his eyes after a few moments, checking to make sure that he's still breathing.

The dungeon is dimly lit, with faint light from outside barely illuminating the cold, stone walls. The air is thick with dust and the smell of dampness, and the noticeable sound was the distant drip of water. Link's unconscious form lies sprawled on the cold, wet, hard ground, his breathing slow and steady. Midna hovers over him, her expression a mix of concern and guilt.

"..What made you go crazy like this?" She mutters, unsure what to do.

What a situation she landed herself in.

…

Stuck in a damp dungeon with an unconscious frenzied hero.

...

(Maybe she should have chosen a better spot to talk to him.)

…

“This sucks..”

—

"Again.”

"What do you WANT?" Link shouts at him, his chest heaving from the exertion.

A single red glowing eye looks at him. "Your resolve has weakened to an absurd degree," he says. "You limit yourself to the boundaries that others have placed on you."

He stares up at him, panting and covered in sweat. " I have done no such thing." He protested. "I am doing everything I can."

The Shade shakes his head. "You are holding yourself back."

"No I'm not!"

"Still such a child. Denying a truth that is always dogging your footsteps."

"You aren't even HERE!" He screams, having finally reached his limit with the shade.

The shade said nothing.

"This is all some fucked up dream! The real you doesn’t even recognize me!! You think I wouldn’t figure this out? That I wouldn’t be able to see through this whole thing?!? What's the point, what’s the fucking purpose of my mind placing the illusion of you before me?!? To mock me?? To constantly remind me of something that possibly didn’t happen?"

"I may be an illusion...but your guilt isn't."

"This is ridiculous," He sits up, his teeth bared at the spirit. "I’ve denied nothing!"

"You are troubled. It clouds your heart."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but you aren't the first to point that out."

The Hero's Shade stood a few feet from him, sword held away as he watched Link.

The Shade's gaze is intense, scrutinizing Link as he rises to a sitting position. The air around him feels heavy, almost suffocating, as if the weight of his troubles is a physical entity. Link can't help but feel a little vulnerable under the Shade's gaze, the numbness that has become all too familiar to him serving as a constant reminder of his burden.

"I won't let it get in the way of learning what you teach me." The rancher replies in a monotone manner.

“Each time you appear before me, your resolve weakens further." The Shade says, his voice deeper, rougher than the rancher remembered.

Then again, he spent a considerable amount of time with his more...'livelier’ self...so the young hero supposed things would have changed during the decades after.

(Though...the Shade should have recognized him...shouldn't he? Yet he didn’t… Did that mean that everything truly was-)

Link shook away those thoughts.

"Though that does not distract me from your current failure to focus." He steps closer to Link, slowly walking around him.

"You’re weaker than you should be, yet still so disappointing. I’m surprised you have not been struck down by a Bublin yet due to your carelessness." Link grit his teeth, that was not a question.

"I am...as strong as you need me to be.."

"As I need you to be? So…you would allow another to determine your overall strength? You would cease to grow simply because another held your leash and brought you to heel?"

Link glared up at him, but of course, the Shade was entirely unfazed.

The Hero's Shade continues to circle around Link, his intense gaze never leaving the young hero. The weight of his gaze is almost unbearable, and Link can feel himself reflexively shrinking under the pressure.

When he stands in front of Link once again, he points his sword at him.

"Raise your sword." Was all he said to him.

The Shade's sword gleams in the light of this realm. Link tightens his grip on his own weapon, meeting his gaze. He lifts his sword as he stands, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on him.

The Shade begins to circle him once more, this time Link matching his movements.

"Now, attack." He commands. The young hero takes a deep breath and lunges forward, sword swinging through the air.

The Hero's Shade watches intently as Link attacks, it takes not even a few moves before Link is tossed to the ground.

"Again," he says, his voice stern. Link obliges, rising up and lunging and swinging his sword once more.

This time, the Shade raises his own weapon to block, the clash of metal on metal echoing in the air. "Again," he repeats as Link is once more knocked down.

Once more he rises, only to be defeated again. The Shade remains unmoved.

Link's movements become more sloppy with each loss. Frustration taking over more and more, but the Shade remains relentless, silently commanding him to raise his sword each time.

Link loathes the sound of his sword constantly clattering to the ground. An indication of his constant failure.

An indication that he was weak.

…weak…

…

No…

Nononono..

He couldn't afford to be weak.

No. Never.

Not when being weak means losing what matters.

Not when it means he could lose- he couldn't lose everything else!

He already lost his pack! Every one of them! He can't-

He reacted before he really registered the noise, rearing his head back in surprise, dodging the sword swipe.

"What are you doing?!?”

"You are rejecting the truth and it’s hindering you." The Shade says, his voice echoing ominously. "I wonder, how many will you abandon…as you run away?"

"I have never abandoned anyone!" He exclaims as he dodges swipe after swipe.

"Foolish enough to release your sword in front of an opponent. Foolish enough to deny the truths that dig themselves into your very being. Foolish enough to be led on by others like some obedient beast."

"What point is there to gain strength when I've lost everything already?!?"

The Hero's Shade does not pause his attacks, but does look at Link with a contemplative expression. "Strength is not just for protecting others," he says. "It is also for protecting yourself. So that you do not continue to lose what matters to you."

"But I've already lost everything that I wanted to protect!" Link dives under a swing and rolls behind the Spirit, reaching out to grab his sword.

But before he could get close, he stills, the cold touch of the Shade's sword pressed against his neck.

"And it is your fault.”

The declaration was firm, weighted, Link could feel the sharp chill of the blade against his skin.

The Shade's voice is low and accusatory.

He should argued his point, said something to get his predecessor to stop.

But the young hero just couldn't take it anymore.

"It wasn't my fault!!" Link screams, his voice echoing through the training grounds. Tears well up in his eyes as he pushes the blade away with his hand, uncaring of the sharp pain it brought, his body trembling with emotion.

"I didn't mean for any of it to happen!" he repeats, his voice desperate, almost pleading. "I just wanted to keep her safe! I just wanted her to stay with us!" With me.

"You would lay the fault of your sins on your desire to protect? When you would endanger the one you sought to protect?"

"None of us would ever hurt her." He hisses at spirit, "Not even death would be enough of a punishment suffered for such a crime."

How many had he willingly killed for daring to threaten her safety?

Those disgusting creatures that took the forms of man. Daring to gaze upon her beauty and attempt to stake a claim.

A claim. As if she were an item to be bought.

Not even as he made them choke on their blood, as he wrapped his hands around their bruised necks, did the rage boiling through his veins calm.

"You believe that you have done what was necessary to protect her," he says, his voice softer now. "But have you considered the cost? "

Link's eyes flash with anger and defiance. "Yes," he growls. "A thousand times, yes."

The lives he's taken, the pain he caused upon those unworthy fools- it was all worth it to keep her safe.

The Shade's gaze pierces through Link, as if trying to read his very soul. "You believe that the ends justify the means," he says, his voice filled with a strange tone of somber wisdom. "But have you considered that the means themselves may taint the end?"

Link's heart races, but he stands his ground. "I have done what I had to do," he insists. "I would do it again if it meant keeping her safe."

Keep her away from those who would harm.

Keep her nice and safe. With them. With him.

"Even if it meant being the cause of Her tears?"

"...I.."

Link's mind reels as the Hero's Shade challenges him with his question. The thought of (y/n)'s tears, caused by his own hand, is almost too much to bear.

"I-I never…would never want to hurt her," he stammers, his voice filled with trembling in growing panic and despair.

The Hero's Shade studies Link intently, seeing the pain and fear in the young hero's eyes. "You say you would never wish to harm her," he says . "But sometimes, actions have consequences that cannot be foreseen.”

Link's heart races.

"You, and those who stood beside you. You all are the reason she was lost."

Link's shaking his head, The Shade's words cut deep, and Link struggles to maintain his composure. He takes a deep breath, trying to steady his racing heart. "I don't believe that," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "I won't believe that."

"Still you deny the truth.." The Hero's Shade continues, shaking his head, "You grew arrogant, drunk on the delusion that you knew what was best for her. Convinced your strength was enough to fight back the world. But in doing so, you overlooked the consequences of your actions. You caused her pain, and ultimately, you lost her."

Link's heart feels heavy, each word the Shade speaks weighing down on him.

The Hero's Shade's words hang heavy in the air, and Link can't help but feel the weight of their truth. He thinks back to the moments leading up to (y/n)'s disappearance, trying to pinpoint the exact moment where he may have gone wrong.

His mind races as he replayed the memories, his heart aching with every image of (y/n)'s strained smiles. The exhaustion that settled around her.

Had he truly been so blind..?

"No..." he whispers, "No..I didn't...I didn't mean to.."

"It is not my place to judge you, that duty goes to the one you harmed," he says, "I only aim to teach. To help you understand the weight of your actions. Perhaps that is the reason that your mind created my image before you.”

Link looks up, meeting the Shade's gaze. He wants to argue, to defend himself, but he can't bring himself to speak.

Link feels a lump form in his throat. He looks away, unable to meet the Shade's penetrating gaze any longer. The Shade's tone had been calm and measured, devoid of any emotion, yet his words are like a dagger to Link's heart.

"The arrogance and narrow-mindedness of you and yours had blinded you all to the true needs and desires of (y/n). It was not your place to dictate her choices, but to support her regardless of what path she follows."

Link says nothing, tears falling down his cheeks.

“No matter how far you run, you could never escape the truth. Because you refuse to forget.”

His tears fall to the ground, his eyes clenched shut.

"...Cub.." He tensed, hearing the nickname only his mentor called him.

Link slowly looked up, tears still falling. His breath caught in his throat as he looked into a familiar face.

Once decayed and ghostly, his mentor now stood before him in all his familiar glory. His face immediately brings a wave of memories crashing down on him. Of brotherhood.

Of trust.

"...T..ime..?" The Hero of Time stared down at him, looking as alive as in his memories.

"Rise and grow strong Cub." He said, an aura of calm surrounding him, holding out Twilight's sword. “Rebuild your shattered resolve.”

"Become a Sword worthy of serving our Goddess..."

Twilight reaches out, taking his sword from his outstretched hand.

As he wraps his trembling hand around the hilt, as he did, he felt a surge of energy pulsing through him.

The last thing he saw before his vision became white, was his mentor watching him calmly.

The side of his face hurt as his senses returned to him.

Opening his eyes, he immediately shuts them with a hiss from the brightness hitting them.

"Hmph, finally awake are we?"

As he slowly opens his eyes again, shielding them from the light, he sees Midna, her impish face looking at him with a mix of masked concern, annoyance, and weariness.

"Took you long enough," she huffs, "Here I thought I was gonna have to finish my business all on my lonesome before you chose to wake up."

He finds himself lying on his back, the ground beneath him feeling hard and unfamiliar. His head throbs with a dull pain, and he instinctively reaches up to touch the side of his face, wincing at the tenderness.

As he touches his face, his fingers probe a tender area around his temple. It feels swollen and bruised. He sits up slowly, trying to ignore the spinning sensation that threatens to overwhelm him. Midna's face comes into focus as he blinks against the, to him, harsh light.

"What happened?" He ask once his head settled a bit. His voice hoarse.

Midna's impish features twist into a bitter smirk.

"What happened?” Midna repeats his question, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Well, let's see. You lost conscious, curtesy of me thank you, after your little breakdown earlier." She pauses, letting her words sink in. "I had to drag your sorry butt all the way to this pretty spot."

He look around, trying to get his bearings.

The torchlight flickers off the stone walls, creating an eerie atmosphere. As Link take in his surroundings, Midna's voice breaks the silence.

"Seriously, what was that back there?" Midna asks. "You scared the crap out of me, you know?"

Link turns to face Midna, his expression conflicted. "I'm sorry," he finally says, his voice still hoarse. "I…don't know what came over me."

"I'll say, you went crazy!"

Midna crosses her arms, her smirk faltering slightly as she studies Link. "You really don't remember?" she asks, her tone softer but no less annoyed now. "You were ranting and raving about some girl and waking up... it was so sudden."

Link furrows his brow, trying to recall what happened before he lost consciousness, all he remembred was this sense of everything becoming...too much.

Link sighs, rubbing his forehead.

To think he'd breakdown like that.

He really had been running from it all.

"You were mumbling something about 'her' not being real, and 'waking up'." She crossed her arms, "Do those words mean anything to you?"

He tenses, Midna could tell he was trying to come up with something to say.

“Safe to say, they mean something to you.” She huffs.

Link stays silent for a few moments, deep in thought. The dim light of the torches illuminates his face, highlighting the conflict and anxiety etched into his features. He then shakes his head, letting out a sigh.

"...I made a mistake," he admits slowly, his voice still hoarse. "It...hurt someone very precious to me."

"Oh?" Midna floated closer to him, "What'd you do so bad that it made you like THAT?"

Link opened his mouth but closed it a moment after, looking away.

The room grows quiet once more, save for the crackling of the torches. Link's eyes lower to the ground, reflecting the guilt and regret he feels. Midna, sensing his discomfort, waits patiently for him to continue. After a few moments, Link finally speaks up, still looking away.

"I hurt her," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. "We all did..."

"..'We'?"

He shakes his head, his mouth in a firm line.

Midna's eyes narrow, trying to make sense of Link's words. She cocks her head to the side, studying him carefully. "Alright, so you hurt someone you care about. But who's 'we'?"

Link's grip tightens around his phantom sword, his jaw setting. He doesn't look at Midna, instead focusing on a distant point on the floor. "It's not important right now."

Link's response only serves to pique Midna's curiosity further. She can tell that he's holding something back, but she doesn't want to push him too hard and risk shutting him down entirely.

Or worse, go crazy again.

Instead, she decides to change tactics.

"Fine, keep your secrets," she says with a shrug.

There was a moment of silence.

“. . .So did you mean to do it?”

“…H-Huh?” Midna tsk’d.

“Did you. mean to. hurt your friend?” Link took a moment to register what she asked.

“No…no I would never…” he whispered, the Twili could see his already pale skin turn a few shades whiter.

“Well that response at least means you got part 1 down of mending things right.” She rolled her eyes at his look.

“Let me tell you something, Link. You're not the only one who's made mistakes."

Midna's words hang heavy in the air, breaking the tense silence that had settled over the room. Link continues to gaze at the floor, lost in thought. The torchlight flickers across his face, casting deep shadows that seem to reflect the turmoil in his heart.

"I know," he says softly, his voice filled with pain. "But this was different. For me. For us all. The results-She-we…we didn't..."

Midna sighs, she can tell that he's not ready to open up about it. After another few moments of silence, Midna breaks the tension again.

"Alright, I get it. You don't want to talk about it right now." She straightened up and put her hand on her hip as she floats closer to him. "But you clearly don't have the means or time to even try to fix whatever it is that's happening with you."

He looked at her with tired eyes, and she frowned.

"If it were me, who hurt someone I cared about..." she tapped her chin, "and I had no choice BUT to hold off on making amends...I'd at least take the time and accept that I did something wrong."

Link sent her a questioning looking and she huffed at him.

"Well how many times have you heard someone apologize but never bothered to understand what they did wrong? Apologizing is great but it means squat if you didn't bother to figure out WHY you're in the dog house...pun intended."

Midna's words seem to strike a chord with Link, who looks up at her with a slightly more alert expression. She can see the gears turning in his head as he considers her words. After a few moments, he nods slowly, remaining silent as he absorbs what she said.

"Great, you finally realize a fact about yourself, “ she raises her hands up and shakes them in a Ta-da motion, “Congratulations, you’re a flawed creature.”

He blinks slowly at her, making her sigh again.

“So, if you're not gonna have a meltdown any time soon, let's get this place over with." She says, clapping her hands once and floating over to his sword and shield.

He remained seated, eyes following her before shortly getting up.

The rest of the dungeon was rather quiet compared to what he remembered, words only spoken when absolutely necessary.

. . . He didn't know how to feel about it.

—

The shade did not appear in his dreams anymore.

A part of him felt relieved…to no longer be stared down by a visage of his mentor…

Another part of him mourned the only other person who knew everything he hid.

Even if that person was simply a construct that his mind created…

…(perhaps it was for the best…)

—

He knew he should have at least announce his departure, instead of leaving a vague note on the entrance to his home.

Link knew he would worry Colin and his family. Knew Rusl would ask around for him, only for frustration to build when no one would know where Link was.

But he simply couldn’t take it anymore

Everything was too much and too little.

There was no journey to distract him anymore, no danger for him to defeat.

No princess of Twilight to yank his attention away from his thoughts from the moment she spoke.

What did it say about who he had become? That staring down at the corpse of Ganon, the very person who caused so much damage to the land, made Link feel nothing but disappointment.

Midna was gone now. He hadn’t realized how much he had depended on her presence to keep him grounded.

The land was safe once more. The people of Ordon were reunited once again.

Returning to Ordon, returning to that small world that once had been so big to him.

All he wanted to do was escape it.

It had all become too much. All so very much.

Everyone knew it. No one said anything but the rancher could tell. Could see their gazes, hated it no matter how well-meaning they were.

Their voices, once so soothing, irked him to the point that he wanted to tear off his own ears just for total silence.

If not his ears, then their very tongues.

He probably would have been horrified by his thoughts, had he been who he once was.

Even now it caused him pain. He didn’t want to look at them and feel anger.

It pained him. (It scared him.)

It was only when he numbly contemplated harm towards the villagers that he knew he had to leave.

He had to get out as quickly as he possibly could. Least he gives in to those overwhelming thoughts.

(And a part of him feared their reaction, should he breakdown in front of them just as he had done in front of Midna.)

So he left. Quietly during the early hours, long before the sun had even begin to rise.

A quick glance through his supplies and a gentle pat to sooth Epona and he was off.

He knows he’ll make everyone worry. A dull sense of guilt pulsing in his chest. But it was pushed down by the sense of ‘far too much’ within him.

All he could do was pray that wherever the path led him next, it would bring some sort of relief.

Perhaps he would return home with a stronger resolve. Perhaps he could find peace.

Perhaps…he could return with a smile that wasn’t on the verge of tearing itself apart…

. . .

. .

(…He could only really hope.)

#yandere linked universe #linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu #loz #yan! lu #yandere lu #lu twilight #midna twilight princess #hero’s shade #TTAU #timeline two au #ttau rewrite #rewrite #gliphy writes

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