#i might be super late to this realization but Y'ALL. THE WAY IT HIT ME

[tootiredmotel]

hear me out. in exu when dorian and dariax do their back to back cuddle for the first time, orym is on watch in a tree and sees it but "doesn't say anything, just clocks it". and uhhh at the time i was like yeah ok, orym being the group parent, looking out for the others, keeping an eye on the crown and its effect on them, etc etc. (also i was hella shipping doriax) but. But. in light of recent developments during c3. what if.. a small part of that... was orym realizing he was catching feelings for dorian.....

[mugi-chan]

❞700 Follower special~!❝

ლ  Tea order: Everyone: Falling in love & confessing 

ლ  Warnings: None!

ლ Tea shop notes:   Ahhh i’m so sorry for not posting anything in a really long time. APChem is biting me in the butt, I hope you all understand and I can make it up with y'all. THANK YOU ALL FOR 700+ FOLLOWERS ꒰♡ˊ͈ ु꒳ ूˋ͈꒱.⑅*♡ I appreciate all of you so much and I can’t wait to share all these lovely orders to all! 

Ace: 

Ace falling in love is super cheesy, he would stare at you from afar and would always get blushy when he gets caught. One day he was watching you take care of the rose garden with him and you happened to look up meeting his eyes. He got embarrassed and kept tending to the garden.  

It’s very fast when he realizes he’s in love, it happens like he’s just laying on his bed late at night and oh crap (y/n) keeps popping into his mind. Reflecting more on those thoughts he gets the realization that he’s in love. 

He would immediately tell Grim and Deuce about this and they would be teasing him about it. Poor boy he’s just a blushing mess he doesn’t know what to do. He may consult his brother about it and of course being the younger sibling he would be teased about it not just from his brother but from his family as well.

Deuce: 

This poor boy doesn’t know what to do with feelings. No one ever liked him back in Middle school and romance type of movies wasn’t his cup of tea so having to understand his own feelings is hard.

He may ask Trey about this since Trey just radiates Big Brother/ Mother energy. Trey would try his best but at the end all Trey said was “You have to express your feelings in your own way. If you allow someone else to express your feelings for you then it’s no longer your own feelings it’s that person's feelings” 

That really resonated with Deuce and he took things into his own hands. He looked up on the internet on how to work his feelings out and confess. If all comes to fail there are always two people he can always ask. 

His mother and Grandma were ecstatic to hear that Deuce started to like someone and would gladly help him with his feelings and how to confess. 

Riddle:

Riddle isn’t used to feelings; his own mother denounces his own feelings and he doesn’t know how to control his feelings (sniff sniff him overblotting). So when feelings of love started to creep in he was very confused. Ew what is this feeling???? Go away….

Cater would be the first person he might go to about this strange feeling. Cater was a little confused on how Riddle was describing his feelings. That was until Trey overheard and told Riddle that those are feelings of love. Love? What is love? Riddle doesn’t know what love is or how to deal with love. 

Oh boy there were sparkles in Cater’s eyes as he set Riddle down in the heartslabyul lounge and pulled out his phone and typed in some websites. Trey came in seeing Cater getting all excited showing Riddle how to swoon over this said person. Trey just shook his head with a small smile and properly told Riddle how to 1 handle his feelings and 2 how to confess his feelings. 

Ace and Deuce would be watching over the corner trying to see what the commotion is. Ace and Deuce would put their two senses in but it's just really corny and cheesy romance stuff they saw in a movie once.

Trey:

Trey and his feelings are pretty much two different people. Trey himself is someone who is kind and caring while his feelings are all over the place. It was just one night where he was laying in his bed and oh crap his feelings crept when he started to think about you. Ah so this is what love feels like? 

Trey would go on his day like nothing was wrong but soon all he can think about is you. Cater would notice this change as well and will tease the crap out of Trey over this. Trey would just brush off Cater while trying to handle his feelings. Riddle overheard all of this and would try to help his childhood friend but would fail miserably since he has no idea what love is, and that’s okay! 

Soon it was too much to where Trey would straight up go to you and confess. No more thinking, just love.

Cater:

Cater was just scrolling through magicam when he noticed that you posted something. Immediately Cater liked and commented on how cute you looked! Of course this was nothing at first but after stalking your magicam profile for a bit it hit him like a magicshift disk that he was falling in love. 

But what should he do? Easy, just flirt your way till you feel confident enough to confess. He may ask Trey a favor or two to help him in his feelings but Trey would give the same advice he gives to everyone when asked about feelings. 

Cater may text his sisters and ask about it but that may just turn into a no since his sisters would just tease him to oblivion, and he would never hear the end of it. So sisters are out of the picture and the family is also out of the picture since his parents would just tell his sister about it. 

So all and all Cater is on his own and honestly he got this.

Leona:

Leona never really dwells into his own feelings of love. It’s kind of like “oh it’s there cool” he’s very much someone who doesn’t show any special treatment to someone they like. Only on rare occasions were he would give you some special treatment. Like demand for naps from you as he quotes “you are the only one who isn’t annoying” 

Ruggie might catch on what Leona is doing and would lightly tease him but would back off when Leona would threaten him. 

If he’s really “bored” he would just straight up tell you and would just kind of go “Oy herbivor are you free this weekend, good meet me at the lounge at 7” that’s it just straight up say “go on a date with me” and be done with it.

Ruggie:

Ruggie really doesn’t have time to dwell on love and relationships as 1) he’s busy with his dorm and taking care of Leona 2) he has family back home to take care so thinking on feelings of love isn’t something he thinks often. 

But one day it just hits him like a magic shift disk and now he has these feelings for you. He would try to ignore it but sometimes it would be just too much for him and he just has to deal with it. Even when doing basic vice dorm head duties all he can think is you and you only. 

Ruggie would absolutely not talk to Leona about it since Leona would just fall asleep on him. Jack on the other hand is a better choice, since Jack may know a thing or two coming from a very loving family. Jack would give some advice or two but can’t really help Ruggie in any way. 

So it’s just up to Ruggie and Jack’s advice to get these lovey dovey feelings out there and to you. 

Jack:

Jack is someone who has no idea what he’s doing and would go straight to his family for help. His younger siblings would give him advice but the advice are just straight up “tell her how you feel and give her this! (hands over a juice box)” His parents on the other hand would tell how they confess to each other and see if that helps him in any way. 

He may also ask Ruggie since Ruggie just radiates big brother energy, and Ruggie would just give examples he saw back home and how he would do it. It wasn’t much help but any help is welcome for Jack. 

Jack would probably keep his feelings in for so long till it’s too much and he does what his parents do when they confess to each other. Simple,sweet, and sincere.

Azul:

It hits Azul so hard that he would be stuck in this cycle of “I don’t like (y/n), Oh gosh I like (y/n), no I love (y/n)” it’s very “fun” to see for Jade and Floyd seeing Azul go through this cycle of I don’t like them but I love them. 

Azul would be so awkward and not know what to do and needs help. The twins are out of the picture because they wouldn’t even help him unless they get something in return. The other Dorm heads wouldn’t really care except probably Riddle and Idia. Idia! He reads so much magna and watches so much anime he should definitely know how to confess to someone. When told this Idia’s eyes lit up as he ran to his manga shelf and pulled like over 20 manga books and set them down in front of Azul. Idia would show Azul his favorite confession scenes and help Azul craft the perfect confession. I don’t think Idia did this because he wants Azul to be happy. I think he did this so he can talk about his favorite manga and anime without someone thinking it’s weird. 

After all that Azul would have a perfect confession planned out and just have to execute it without embarrassing himself. Which will be hard….

Jade:

Jade would completely ignore his feelings of love till it consumes him. He has an image he has to uphold and breaking it could mean not business for the mostro lounge. But once the feelings consume him he would really have to deal with it. 

Even though he has his twin brother and his childhood friend he could go to he wouldn’t do it. Why? Well 1) Floyd would not take it seriously and think of it as a game while 2) Azul would take this as an opportunity to make a contract with Jade. So who could he ask for help? Well maybe other vice dorm heads who he considered a “friend” and that would just be Trey. Trey told Jade the same thing he tells his fellow dorm mates “You have to express your feelings in your own way. If you allow someone else to express your feelings for you then it’s no longer your own feelings it’s that person's feelings” That helped Jade so much. No more asking for help he would just have to do it on his own. 

He would most likely build a really cute terrarium for you and confess in a really sweet but lowkey scary way. 

Floyd:

Floyd would have mixed feelings about everything. Love? Bleegh too many “feelings” , but if he ever gets that feeling of love he would be so confused and disgusted. Like “ew what is this feeling? It’s like nice but weird” 

He would immediately go to Jade and Azul for help, Jade would make Azul promise not to form contracts over this and Azul agress. After all that “no contracts to Floyd, Azul '' they would give him the most honest answer and tell him the most popular way to confess and how to do it. There was a lot of training and preparation for this moment and once Floyd feels comfortable he would put it into action. 

His confession is fiery and passionate and showed another side of floyd no one other than Jade and Azul has ever seen.

Kalim:

Kalim is so love struck when he catches feelings. All he talks about is “(y/n) this (y/n) that” to the point where it’s annoying but sweet. 

He would immediately ask Jamil for help and Jamil would reluctantly agree. Kalim and Jamil would form a perfect way of confessing to you and Kalim would pretty much get his whole dorm involved. After getting so much hyped from his own dorm he’s bouncing with excitement really excited to see your reaction to all of this. 

It was a grand parade in your honor and Kalim would go the extra mile to make it so memorable when he confessed. Poor Jamil would have to make sure Kalim didn’t hurt himself anywhere as he was dancing between legs of elephants and dancing with the peacocks.

Jamil:

Jamil is already really busy with Scarabia and Kalim to focus on himself and his personal feelings. It was one night where he finally got a chance to relax where he reflexes on his feelings. Realizing most of the thoughts was about you, confused Jamil would go more and more on this thought and a crush and feelings for you developed. 

Jamil would absolutely not ask Kalim for help because as soon as Kalim hears about it he would tell the whole world. Which Jamil did not want AT ALL, so he’s going solo on this. He would scan through the internet on ways to confess and one of them is cook/bake their favorite food. 

So that’s what he did, he confessed to you through food. A simple and sweet gesture that would definitely win anyone's heart because 1) it’s Jamil’s cooking and 2) it’s jamil.

Vil:

Being a model and Magicam influence means being in a relationship is pretty much out of the question as you may get “distracted” and work to your full potential. That’s what at least Vil told himself a few months ago but look where we are. Our magicam influencer has caught feelings for a simple person who he thought “wasn’t worth his time” 

He would demand Rook and Epel to help him get rid of these “feelings” so he can go back to work. Rook would be over the moon to help while Epel would be a little reluctant but really excited to help since this is tea that he couldn’t experience back home.  They would help with a very extravagant confession at the most romantic spot in the dorm (Pomefiore is prepared for anything romantic wise) 

Although Rook and Epel planned this extravagant confession, Vil went to a very sweet yet simple confession. Holding your hands and spill out of his feelings for you hoping you reciprocate his feelings.

Rook:

Rook and love go hand in hand, he would be so distracted from his vice dorm head duties and would pretty much focus on you. This would annoy Vil so much because how is he supposed to rule his dorm without his trusty and “loyal” advisor.  

Vil would order Epel to help Rook with his problem so he can get back to vice dorm head duties. Which Epel of course reluctantly agrees to but secretly Epel was really excited. Rook would think of a million ideas to confess to you which Epel would have to get Rook to narrow it down since you can only confess once before it becomes bleh. But Rook wasn’t listening so Epel just had to get Vil to get rook to narrow his ideas to maybe one or two. Which Rook agreed since it is Vil and he’s pretty much a simp for Vil. 

Rook’s confession is very sweet and romantic like straight out of a movie and would be something that the main character would get. Rook really made you feel like the main character.

Epel:

Epel believes having a “Crush” isn’t manly till he gets one. Oh boy this boy can’t talk straight to you without stuttering or blushing. Vil and Rook would see this and swoop in to “help” Epel in his situation. 

Rook and Vil would come up with different ways ranging from a way that a girl would confess, to a mainly hunter-ish way to confess to someone. It was overwhelming to say the least and Epel still had no idea what to do. Epel would also ask his friends but gets nothing since Ace isn’t really a lady’s man, Deuce never had anyone like him before, Jack is intimidating so no one really talks to him, and Sebek is… well Sebek. After everything fails Epel just listens to Jack and does what Jack advises.

And that confession was so sweet and cute that it would melt anyone’s heart. He’s so cute and the blush on his face is so cute.

Idia:

Idia never goes out often so catching feelings is hard, and yet he still got them. It’s super weird but he doesn't ignore those feelings. 

He would call Ortho and Azul to his room for help, azul advice sounded like a business deal and that’s an absolute no no for Idia the last thing Idia needed to remember is his family business. Ortho’s advice made more sense, you watched a lot of manga and anime why don’t you use those for reference. Idia loved that idea so much that his confession was pulled straight from the manga itself. 

When Idia confessed it was so awkward he couldn’t do it the first time and chicken out. After being pushed back to do it again by the octavinelle trio he would confess again and this time he would succeed. His confession was pulled straight from the manga and is super cheesy yet sweet and loving. 

Sebek:

Sebek wanting to be the best servant to Malleus would lock up his feelings and not let them consume him. Yet somehow you were like the prince in sleeping beauty and got through the spiked vines. 

Sebek would immediately ask lilia and his friends for help because this poor boy has no idea what he is doing. Lilia would give the most cheesiest way to confess to someone but hey it’s better than nothing, Malleus has no idea what love really is so he can’t help and Silver is well… asleep as usual. So once Diasomnia isn’t going to help him he would go to his friends which shocked them since when did Sebek have feelings for anyone other than Malleus?! But they would gladly help, as proven before that the 1st year squad have no idea what their doing this shows even more prominent. Like they would try to think how Sebek can confess but in a “Sebek way” if he knows what that even means. Soon he would get just too frustrated and just do it on his own. 

His confession is awkward and simple, but it did get the message through and it was a surprise to see another side of Sebek that no one else has ever seen. Oh and don’t forget all the letters that you have collected due to Sebek sending you so many letters.

Silver:

Silver is someone who would conceal his feelings really well, he wouldn’t tell anyone till he actually needed help. 

And when that time came he would ask his father for help, but Lilia’s tips weren’t really “relavent” to the time. Malleus would over hear this and sit to listen as well, mid way of lilia telling him all the possibilities to confess Silver just went zzZ. Malleus would notice this but not Lilia, so being the good dorm head he wants to be he would write down what lilia was saying and hand it to Silver later. When Silver woke up he saw a note next to him was a step by step instruction on how to confess the “Valley of thorns” way. 

Which is exactly what he did since it is his home and if the heir to the throne says so then he shall put it into action. Yes as you may think it was very cheesy and old timey but it was very adorable to see Silver confess. 

Lilia:

Ahh yes the old man himself after living through 1,000’s of years he would know a thing or two about love right? Yeah outdated love, like all of that was years and years ago some of those confessing techniques are now considered cheesy. 

Since everyone considered the old confession cheesy Lilia had to go to someone who would know how to confess to someone the “modern” and “hip” way. That someone was Cater, always glued to his phone he would most likely know a thing or two. Luckily for Lilia he did! Cater would pull up all the new and trendy ways to confess to someone which gave Lilia so many ideas that he crafted the most perfect yet trendy way to confess to someone. All he had to do is put it into action. 

His confession was exactly how Cater told him to do it. It was very extravagant and very up with the time. You wonder how Lilia who is over 1,000+ years old knows something this relevant ??

Malleus:

Everyone is either scared or hates Malleus so when shows even little of love to Malleus he would hold and protect it at all cost. All in his mind is his love for you and it would consume his head like overgrown vines surrounding a castle. 

To get these overgrown vines to bloom to beautiful flowers he would need help, which luckily for him he has a Guardian (lilia), a ward (silver), and a bodyguard (sebek) to help him. They would all gladly help as finally the mighty Malleus Draconia may find love. Lilia would pull out a thick and dust heavy book to help guide them on their journey, it was just a book full of ancient courting ways that the previous royals have done. Silver would try to stay awake but would fall asleep so much. While Sebek would sit all mumble something along the lines of “I wish that was me” “I want to help the young master”. After much consoling he practiced and hon on the success of this confession. 

His confession was straight out of the textbook and to him he believed it was still “trendy” today. Ahh but his soft side would win anyone’s heart anyway, a side no one except you have seen.

Would you like to order something? Look at our Tea shop rules first!

[darkfearsandkittyears]

Y'all, it's Whumptober! I'm super excited!

Okay, uh...funny story [and super embarrassing for me] I am a highly unorganized person, I have a calendar in my room, but it's so much easier to check the date on the huge calendar in the kitchen! So, I calculated the days till October in August, and promptly forgot to write prompts and outlines, [even though I pants most of my works].

Fast forward to today, when I see my mom writing down the October events. I was like, oh, she's just reminding herself for next month.

Then I realized.

I literally forgot that September comes right before October.

I literally thought that I had another month to plan ideas.

One of you come whack me on the head, I really need it.

Anywho, let's get on with the show!!

"Come on, Damian! Reach for it." Jason dangled Damian's bottle, inches from the baby's hands. Damian whined and stretched his arms out as far as they would go, attempting to snatch his bottle.  Jason smiled at the child. "Scoot forward. Like this." He demonstrated, pulling his body along with his arms.  Damian stared at him as if he'd grown a second head, then cooed a little.  "Yeah, it looks whack. But come on." Jason shrugged and put the bottle down, wagging Damian's little toy dog instead. On what planet did this qualify as a dog? It looked more like a deformed elephant.  The woman at the store had insisted it was a dog….he had to get Damian some more toys. All the parenting books said that babies needed good toys for development. "Come on buddy, get your..animal." Jason called. Damian laid his head on the quilt and sucked his thumb. Jason snapped a quick picture as the little boy nodded off, tuckered out by 'tummy time'. "Come on Dames, don't fall asleep just yet." Jason said, grunting as he got to his feet. The wound he'd sustained wasn't helping any, and the painkillers weren't working right, thanks to the pit.  Oh well.  "Come on kid, you can't fall asleep on your stomach." Jason rolled the sleepy baby over on his back. Big blue eyes batted up at him, laced with sleep.  Looked like Bruce, a little.  House of Wayne.  Once upon a time, Jason had wanted to use the kid as leverage...but this was a baby, and his brother. He'd realized that, but realized it a little late. Damian deserved to grow up, shielded from batdad's nonsense and in a world without Joker.  Godamn it, Talia was right.  Having a 'family' around him had cleared his head. And screwed up his plans. Majorly. But he wouldn't trade it for anything.  Besides, he'd nearly had Joker's brains splattered against the wall yesterday, right in front of Bruce's face.  He'd make them watch, make them all watch when he pulled the trigger on Joker. For himself. For Barbara.  For Damian. Maybe then, when Joker was dead, he'd present Damian to Bruce. Let Bruce wage war against the House of al Ghul while he and Damian ran for the hills. Then they'd double back and destroy both families. He couldn't kill Bruce, not until Damian was older. Jason was no Willis Todd, he was far from willing to force his brother into a life with no father. Picking sides would be Damian's choice, when he got older. But for now, it was Damian, Jason and Talia against the Joker and Batdad.  Not a hard fight.  Especially when Jason had the upper hand.  "We're gonna be just fine." Jason smiled down at the sleeping baby. "We're already winning." Damian's eyelashes fluttered, and he let out a tiny snore. Jason picked him up and transferred him to his playpen, then wandered out of the living room and into the bedroom that he'd converted into a gym.  A rumble of thunder burst through the room, and Jason paused, hoping it wouldn't wake Damian up. That was pretty loud, for thunder. The ground seemed to shake with the sound.  The pull up bar he'd installed yesterday clattered to the ground, and he flinched lightly as an image of a crowbar flashed before his eyes. It felt as if something had hit him in the back, but he chalked it up to imagination. He was probably imagining the fog around him too.  Some things Joker gave him, he could never get rid of.  But Damian began to cry, loud, hysterical wails that sent fear up Jason's spine. Another rumble broke through the air as Jason sprinted out of the room. A sickening crack ricocheted through the house, and Jason unwillingly moved to the left as something brushed his right shoulder.  A support beam.  "Damian!" Jason had never moved so fast, weaving past and through the falling drywall and wood. He was only feet away from the playpen when Damian's wails choked to a stop, as if someone had turned them off. Through the fog and falling objects, he reached into the playpen and curled around the child, shielding him with his body as he tried to find an exit.  Damian's body was limp in Jason's arms, not a cry or a coo. Jason risked a

glance at the child's closed eyes and pale, dust covered face. He shoved the blanket up to cover Damian's nose and rushed blindly into the direction of the doors. Behind him, a beam fell and what was left of the house shuddered.  An eerie feeling washed over Jason, settling right in the pit of his stomach. Everything went quiet, but Jason tensed, alert.  A hot burst of air slammed into his back, and he knew he'd been right to keep alert. Jason grunted as he was thrown into what was left of a wall, which crumbled, pinning his legs down. His mind fogged like a static TV, and he could feel warm air.  Fire.  Then realization hit.  Damian was no longer in his arms.  "Damian. Damian!" His throat was raw, coated in drywall dust and dirt. But he yelled on, hoping, needing to hear anything from the rubble.  But there wasn't a sound.  Jason pulled his leg from under the rubble and plowed through it to the best of his abilities, climbing over and under and around piles of garbage that had once been a house. There was an odd feeling in his leg, the only other thought that wasn't an urgent repeat of, "Find Damian!". But he quickly suppressed the feeling, because through the fog and dust and smoke, a tiny hand protruded from under a beam. Jason attempted to lift it, but couldn't. Damian was trapped under an air pocket, but any wrong movement would send it all crashing atop him.  A lever.  Jason searched desperately for a board or pole to use as a lever, but saw nothing. But then his eyes scanned over his own leg, and he had to look back at it.  His foot was quite literally facing the wrong way. The odd feeling vanished and became a sharp pain that nearly took his breath away.  Focus, Jason. The League had trained him as a sniper, and he was good at it. He excelled, even.  But all snipers knew how to do one thing. Hyperfixate. And that skill, with the help of adrenaline, might just save both his and Damian's lives.  Jason looked around the room once again, eyeing the position of the beam that Damian was under. If he could manage to get across the rubble, he could crawl into the air pocket and rescue Damian. Jason pulled his body up and over rubble, ignoring the extreme pain that was now burning through his body. At some point, that white agony would get the best of him, but for now, adrenaline was masking most of it.  "Damian!" Jason called again, nearly falling over a piece of wall. His broken leg slammed into a sheet of metal, which dislodged. The beam began sliding, and Jason screamed, unwillingly. He felt his legs propelling him towards where his brother lay, and he pulled Damian into his arms and cringed as the beam fell down around them.  "Damian...Dames." Jason panted as the dust settled, smoothing the dirt off his brother's pale face. The baby was too pale. He had to get him out of here. The falling rubble was controlling the fire, but smoke inhalation would kill them. And Damian had been unconscious for far too long, but there wasn't a single scratch on the child to evidence any injuries. Jason growled in frustration. "Damn it!" His entire body hurt, his leg most of all. Adrenaline was wearing off...the pain was mixing with the green light of the pit, and together they nearly blinded him.  Rage, and pain. Great combination.  He looked around for a way out. It was like a grave. Tight, and hard to breathe.  No Jason.  No.  His breath caught, and he knew he'd just screwed up. There wasn't enough air in his lungs, and he could breathe it in quickly enough. He clutched Damian to his chest and tried to get in a breath, to no avail.  Whimpers punctuated his breath, and the rational part of him could have laughed at himself.  But he couldn't. Whimpers turned to screams, and nothing made sense anymore. He screamed the only name he knew would come for him. "Bruce! Bruce, please!" He could hear his own screams dying out, feel himself losing a grip on consciousness. "Dad! Dad...Bruce…" His voice rasped into a whisper, and he gritted his teeth. "Batman! Dad! I need you! Please...please dad!"  Not a soul

stirred.  "That's right. He's not coming for you." Joker whispered sadistically.  Jason shook his head desperately, tears mixed with blood running down his face. "Shut up, you stupid clown! Please! Bruce. Bruce! Please!"  Like a miracle on Christmas eve, a ray of light shone into their prison, and a familiar shadow fell across Jason, along with another pound of dust. Damian wailed, and Jason shielded himself and the child against the dust, then spiraled into an exhausted darkness.  Four hours later, he pulled himself out of the pit of unconsciousness. "Dami?" Jason slurred, exhausted.  "He's fine, Jay. With Alfred."  That voice.  Jason made an attempt to bolt upright, only to find that he was secured to the bed.  "You have two broken legs, five ribs, son." Bruce muttered, undoing the restraints.  They must have given him some hefty painkillers, since he could feel nothing. "Call me son again-" Jason snarled, his voice cracked and dry. "How am I your son, if you had the nerve to let him live?! I gave you the choice last night, Bruce. Save me, or save him. You threw a batarang at my throat instead."  "Jason-" Bruce looked wounded, his jaw working with words he didn't know how to say.  "No! You don't get to "Jason" me. Not after what you did. You don't deserve to have your son."  "Jason."  Jason looked up at Bruce. "What?"  "I put a batarang in your throat?"  Disbelief surged through Jason. "You didn't know? All those years of aiming those damn things, and you didn't know?" Bruce's face was as stone cold as ever. "No." Jason had probably imagined the look of sorrow on his father's face. It wasn't like Jason meant anything to him anymore. "It only nicked me, lucky for you. Doesn't even matter, I'm alive. Surprising, isn't it? You wanted me dead and him alive. What, you got a crush on him?" He looked away, unwilling to meet Bruce's eyes.  "I hate him, Jason. I just can't kill him."  "You screwed me over Bruce. All this," Jason gestured to himself, "Is your fault."  "You have a son, Jason." Bruce said softly.  "He's not my son. He's my brother." Jason replied, tone dark. "He's your son."  There was a dead silence that almost resonated. Jason chanced a look at Bruce.  For once in his life, the man looked truly stunned.  Did he break him? "Bruce…?"  "Talia's child?" Bruce whispered.  "Yes." A sudden whim forced him to add, "And you can't have him. You're not going to get him killed too." "I wasn't going to make him a Robin."  "Cut the bullcrap, Bruce!" Jason screamed, startling both himself and Bruce. "Yeah, maybe I almost got us both killed, but I've never put a gun or a batarang in his hand and told him to throw it!"  Bruce hesitated before speaking. "It wasn't your fault. The city was destroying a building, and the explosion shook the foundation of other buildings. I couldn't get to you two as quickly as I should have. I'm sorry, Jaybird." Bruce sighed. Sorry. Sorry doesn't cut it, Bruce, Jason wanted to say. "Whatever, Bruce.", was all that came from his throat. "Not the first time you've forgotten me, anyways."  "If I had known-"  Rage surged through Jason. "Save it! Why the hell is he still alive? That's my only question. Why. Isn't. He. Dead? Don't kill him. Fine. But let me kill him. Look at Barbara! Isn't what he did to me enough?! When will it be enough, Bruce? When he murders Damian?" Hands gripped Jason's shoulders, and he stopped his tirade. "Son…" Bruce began, then stopped. Jason could feel his face crumple, not a word slipping past his dry lips. "I can't kill him, Jason. I can't let myself go off that edge. "You failed me, Bruce. When will it be enough?"  Bruce didn't answer. Jason swallowed against the knot in his throat and spoke roughly. "I just want him dead. All I ever wanted was to make you proud...then you left me with him. That, the abandonment, it doesn't even hurt anymore, but I wanted you to kill him. For me." Jason's face twisted into a scowl that thankfully repressed the tears. "Make him die." He spat. "I can't, Jason. I'm sorry Jason. It's meaningless, but I'm

so sorry." Bruce looked physically pained.  He's acting, Jason told himself. "If you're sorry, don't let him hurt anyone else."  "I can't promise that."  "I know you can't. But I can!" Jason yelled, finally. But instead of his rage getting the best of him, it all just evaporated. He felt nauseated, as if someone had punched him in the gut. But all he vomited up were words, words that he shouldn't say. "All I ever wanted was to make you proud...then you left me with him. I don't care about that...but didn't you care about me?"  Bruce's expression darkened to something that Jason had never seen before. "I put the Joker in a body cast for a year. That permanent limp he has is evidence of it. I couldn't bring myself to murder him, because in his dead eyes, all I saw was myself in him. And it was all too peaceful. He tortured you for months. I'll torture him for the rest of his life." Bruce said the words like a vow, determination lacing his tone. Jason stared straight ahead in shock. Silence settled over the room.  "You-when was Joker dead?" Jason finally asked, almost dreading the answer.  "Dick killed him when he found out what happened. I couldn't let him live with the remorse, so I revived him." "Dick….killed him." Jason repeatedly slowly, almost dumbly. He wanted to feel anger that Bruce had brought the damn clown to life, but he couldn't.  "He always had a temper." Bruce said lamely.  Oh great, both of them were shutting down their emotions and verbalization. "Didn't think he'd go that far." "I did. He loves you, Jason."  "Don't talk to me about Grayson. He managed to do what I've been trying to do." Jason managed a rough laugh. "Isn't it funny, Bruce?" Bruce only stared at him, a near pitiful expression on his face.  It wasn't until Bruce hugged him that Jason realized that there were hot tears streaking down his cheeks. Slowly, Jason hugged back, blinking back the stinging wetness of his eyes.  This, all this 'emotional seminar with the Batman' was a total mistake. So Jason let go of Bruce and pushed him a little to regain personal space.  Bruce unsurprisingly was fine with taking back his boundaries. "You're doing alright, Jaylad. You took in a son that wasn't yours and you're raising him."  "I took him in for all the wrong reasons." Jason bit his tongue. "And what are your reasons now?"  "Touchè."  Parents...and adoptive older brothers make mistakes with kids. They fail them and screw them up. But Jason's mistakes with Damian could be fixed.  Jason couldn't. Not until the clown died. "You can always make the present better than the future." Bruce said.  Dammit, old man. "Whatever." Valid points.  Very valid points. "Who else trained you in manipulation?"  Bruce just looked confused. Either this was more manipulation, or Bruce being bipolar by the days.  Whichever one, Jason would try his luck. It was a mistake, destined for disaster.  But he just couldn't help himself.

[t-lostinworlds]

Extra (Tom Holland)

A/N: What is this? I have finished something? Me?? posting?? A FIC? WHAT? Is the world actually ending!?!? I think I’m funny but I’m not, clearly. Glad to be out of my writing rot tho aha. Hope you guys like this one!

Pairing: Tom Holland x Singer!Reader

Summary: You get a sweet but very extra surprise on your birthday nearing the end of your show.

Warnings: Fluff and my usual typos

Word Count: 5.5k+

Masterlist in Bio

-:-:-:-:-

The sound of your phone just going off uncontrollably was what woke you up, and you were completely sure that it wasn't your alarm.

You squint your eyes at the bright glare of the screen, a huge contrast to your still dim hotel room. You literally had just woken up hence why the curtains aren't open yet, it's still a bit too early after all.

Flicking the ringer on silent, birthday greetings and messages from friends and families were still flooding through, your phone now vibrating instead of your loud ringtone, giving your ears a break.

As you read through and responded to all of them, you couldn't help but feel a little down after you realized you haven't seen his name yet.

Of course you feel grateful for all the sweet messages everyone has sent you, your heart is melting from all the love. But there's that slight disheartened feeling that you can't seem to shake, slight worry that your boyfriend might have forgotten about your birthday.

You haven't heard from Tom since yesterday morning, which now makes it almost a full day. After he texted you that he was going to be doing a lot of stunts and is probably going to be super busy, he then just disappeared, not even slipping in a text good night. You did let it pass though, because he might have been quite knackered after the shoot.

Message to Tom: Good morning bub <3 Just checking up on you since you haven't read or replied to any of my messages at all. Hope you're okay and haven't injured yourself Thomas. I really miss you a lot and I love you loads x

Your frown could only deepen as you hit send, still no response nor any sign that he's got your messages whatsoever.

Normally, it wouldn't really be a big deal but the last you've seen him in person was three months ago. He was busy shooting the third installment of Spider-Man all while doing a few projects on the side. And you, well, you're touring around the world.

You could be patient and blame it on the time difference why he hasn't greeted yet, but he's just behind a couple hours. Tom has made it a habit of always greeting you at midnight no matter what and where, he's just cliché like that, and it was definitely passed midnight in New York.

God, you sound so much like a whiny and ungrateful brat, but you can't help it, you just miss him so much.

Maybe you've gotten so used to always spending your birthdays with him so the first time that you're celebrating it from different parts of the globe, it does makes you sad.

You did try to make ends meet, but a week before today, he's brought you the news that he can't fly out due to conflicting schedules with some of the actors he's working with, and that it's critical that he's there on the day. To be the leading role of a gigantic movie, asking a few days off is never that simple.

On the other hand, you have a show today and tomorrow, so flying to him isn't exactly ideal either. You understand of course, you are sort of in the same line of work, but still, it doesn't make you feel any less gloomy.

With one big stretch, you placed your phone back on your side table as you slowly got out of bed, opting to go and take a shower to then head down and meet the crew for breakfast.

Maybe you'll hear from him later in the day.

* * *

It was late in the afternoon and still not a single word from Tom.

You were growing worried because it was so unlike him to be very cut off and silent.

Did he lose his phone?

You tried to contact Harry—who's with Tom currently—but he too wasn't responding. Everything was just off and odd altogether, the tiny pit in your stomach only growing bigger the more you worry and think about where your man is.

"Have you heard from Tom?" You asked with furrowed brows the moment Molly, your manager approached you on stage. Your hand found its way to fish your phone out of your pocket to check it for the umpteenth time, but still, no sign of him.

You were finishing up your final soundcheck before you were off to a mini get-together—snacks and drinks included—with some of your fans. It was your alternative to a meet and greet because you'd rather hang out and have real conversations with them than the whole quick snap and go.

She shook her head at you all confused, a slight glimmer in her eyes that you didn't quite catch. "Uh no, why?"

You sighed. Tom doesn't really contact your manager unless its important matters, so you don't even know why you're asking, maybe you've just grown desperate to hear even the smallest thing from him, just anything. "Never mind. Is it time?"

"Yeah, they're all waiting for you."

You simply nodded as you followed her off stage, handing the guitar over to your guy on the way.

Walking through the hallway, you kept your head down, eyes glued to your phone as you respond to more messages from people, but also checking if Tom has come back from ghost town.

You were aimlessly following Molly to wherever room or space they set up the get-together in, just watching her shoes and never looking up from your device. That, until you heard a few shuffling of rushed feet and a door being slammed shut.

"What was that? And what's in here?" You asked, eyes now trained on a door of what looks like another dressing room. Molly continued walking, so you kept following but with your gaze still glued to the door, curios as to what's going on inside because you definitely can hear a bit of ruckus.

"Oh just the staff, that's one of their rooms." She answered casually, not even bothering to give you or the room a glance.

"Is it weird if I just go inside and say thank you? Would that be too... intrusive?" You pondered, halting in your tracks as you contemplated on knocking. You just wanted to extend your gratitude for all their hard work, but you aren't sure if they were comfortable with you suddenly just strolling in.

"It's not weird at all hun, but you've got a schedule." She smiled at you sweetly, nodding her head towards the direction of the get-together.

"Oh right, yeah, let's go."

You gave the door one last look before turning on your heel to follow Molly once again, up until you reached another space covered in curtains. And the moment your bodyguard pulled it open, wide smiles on faces greeted you as they all sang in tune.

"Happy birthday to you!"

You laughed as you shyly shook your head at them. Warmth coated your whole body in an instant as love and pure adoration radiated off of the space, off of your fans.

You did as much as wave your fingers in the air as they sang, serving as a conductor because for the number of years you've been on this earth, you still have no idea what to do when people sing the birthday song to you.

* * *

"I can't thank you guys enough for being here with me tonight. You guys have been so incredible, you always are." You breathed out as your voice echoed throughout the whole arena. You looked at the thousands of people who came tonight to see you perform with a proud grin, their energy never wavering as they sing your songs back to you from each melody to lyric.

Adrenaline was pumping through your veins as you tried to catch your breath, taking the water bottle off of the floor and lifting it up to your lips to have a quick drink.

"Now, give me everything you've got for this last song alright?" You spoke into the mic once you've rehydrated.

"Wait, wait. Don't you guys agree that Y/N is killing it tonight?" Your pianist, Sara, interrupts, the crowd cheering in agreement at her input. "And judging by today's occasion, I think we all owe her a little song." She added, earning a hearty laugh from you as you brought the mic back to your lips.

"You guys don't have to—"

"Happy birthday to you!"

The song was played no matter your protest, Sara leading the crowd as she plays the tune on her keys, the rest of the band following suit.

Your laugh bounced off the walls as you stood there in complete awe. It was a beautiful sight to see, the crowd all singing in unison, lights up in the air as they pour all their heart to the simple yet special song. The song still filling you up with joy and warmth despite having heard it countless of times for the whole day, and the fact that all these people were there for you? It was definitely the icing on the cake.

"Thank you so much you lovely people, y'all are making me emotional. And they say the best way to spend your birthdays is with the people you love and the ones who love you, and they were absolutely right. I'm so blessed to have you guys tonight, because I do love you all very much." You stated fondly the moment they finished with a loud cheer, a hand placed right atop your heart as you feel it grow ten times its size.

"Y/N, we've got another something for you." Sara spoke before you could even get another word out, hand gesturing towards the large screen right behind you.

"Oh god, is this mission make Y/N ugly cry today?" You laughed, turning around just in time too see the tour artwork turning pitch black to then be replaced by a huge countdown.

5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

The crowd roared in delight as Mr. Niall Horan joined with Lewis Capaldi appeared on screen, large pints of Guinness on hand with their arms around each other as they give you their birthday greeting.

"Happy birthday Y/N! But since we're halfway across the world, we'll be there with you in spirit. Also, Lewis and I decided to celebrate anyway so cheers to you and have an amazing day." Niall chuckled as he lifted his beer up. "I'll make sure to have a good drink for you Y/N! We miss ya and we love ya!" Lewis added with a cheeky grin, and you couldn't help but shake your head at the two with a big smile of your own.

You've worked with them both on a few songs, and both were the funniest yet sweetest gentlemen you've met in the industry, especially when you put the two together.

Both of them emptied their glasses as they bid their goodbyes, Niall's loud laugh echoing throughout the arena when Lewis spilled before they disappeared on screen.

The crowd went even louder once Shawn Mendes' pretty face appeared on it next, sporting his usual bright smile as he gave you his short but sweet greeting. "Happy birthday Y/N! Wishing you all the best in life since you deserve all of it! Can't wait to work with you again soon! Have fun on your birthday honey!"

You shook your head in disbelief. An amused smile was plastered on your face, still unable to fathom that a few years ago you were a huge fan of him. And now you can say you've worked with him, even call him a friend. Funny, how the universe works.

Alessia Cara came up next with a smile, wide and bright, you're heart melting to see one of your greatest and closest friends. She's just a pure and kindhearted soul, a rare beauty. "Hey there you lovely and amazing woman! Happy birthday! I miss hanging out with you a lot but I shall see you soon! Keep conquering the world Y/N! I am so proud of how far you've come and you deserve every bit of success that comes your way. Again happy birthday! Have an amazing one and I love you!" She blew you a sweet kiss and waved you goodbye, tears already brimming in your eyes at all the love and appreciation thrown your way.

Next were Zendaya and Jacob Batalon, who you've grown close with through no other person than Tom. Both were clearly on set sitting on directors' chair in their characters' outfits. Both looked a little tired but they still greeted you with wide smiles nonetheless.

"Happy birthday Y/N!" They screamed in unison. "We wished we could be there with you to celebrate your birthday but you already know how these things go." Z pouted, Jacob copying her as well and you couldn't help but giggle. "But soon when we get a break we will catch up and celebrate your birthday." Jacob added with a knowing grin. "Anyway! Duty calls so enjoy your birthday and have great one! We love you!"

Then friends and family came up on screen, ones who you've missed most having been away from them for so long and that's when you felt your heart ache a little. Happy tears were brimming in your eyes as each of them shared their lovely messages, saying how proud they are for how far you've come. And when those words come from the people who you truly care about, it means the absolute world.

The next person to share their video message didn't help with the tears either, a hushed sob escaping your lips the moment you saw his familiar face.

The crowd behind you screamed at the top of their lungs the moment Thomas Stanley Holland appeared on screen, handsome face sporting that sweet and charming smile as he sat in his trailer wearing his Spider-Man suit.

"Hello darling. My love, I'm so gutted that I'm not there so celebrate your birthday with you. If I could teleport myself by your side right now, I would in a heartbeat, but anyway, happy birthday sweetheart!" Tom exclaimed joyfully, grin all beaming and you couldn't help but miss him even more.

"Oh, where do I start? Well, I can start by saying how proud I am of you, so so proud of the gorgeous, powerful, strong and successful woman that you've grown to become. You've worked so hard to get where you are today and it fills me with so much happiness knowing that you're out there traveling the world and doing what you love the most." The crowd cooed at Tom's sweet words, your heart was already melting at the seams as more tears threaten to spill, and he wasn't even done yet.

"You deserve the whole world if not more with how kindhearted and compassionate you are. And gosh you make me feel so happy and loved. I feel so lucky to have someone like you in my life, I can't even begin to describe to you exactly how much, and if I tried? Then we'd be here for hours on end. And lastly—because I'm being called to set right now, if I wasn't I'd be talking about how amazing you are some more—I am truly, madly and deeply in love with you Y/N. You are my world and I hope I make you feel loved every single day, because you truly deserved to be."

"Tom they're waiting for you."

"Yeah, just one more minute." Tom calls out to someone off shot before his eyes landed back on the camera, staring straight at you through the screen with a guilty smile. Guilty because it pains him that he's not there with you. "I love you dearly, and I miss you so much. I'll make it up to you I promise. Once again, happy birthday to my beautiful girl and I shall see you soo—"

All of a sudden the screen went static, Tom's words being cut off as you heard nothing but white noise. Then everything just went black, the whole arena dark as the night as gasps of surprise and screams of panic echoed throughout its walls.

Tell everyone to stay calm Y/N, we're fixing things up.

Your sound guy spoke in your in-ear. You nodded despite the fact that they probably can't see you due to the darkness. Turning back around to the audience, you spoke into the mic. "I'm sorry guys, just technical difficulties. Just stay in your seats in be calm, the lights should be back on in a minute."

And as if on cue, the crowd screamed as the power turned back on. However, after a few seconds, they turned unusually rowdy, too rowdy for it to be only that reason. Slowly you got the feeling it wasn't only because of that, judging by the volume and power of their cheer, and by a few fans pointing at the stage as if they're seeing something you aren't.

For a split second, you met eyes with Molly who was right by the side of the stage. She had that all-knowing grin on her face as she pointed towards something behind you.

Confused, you turned around, jumping in sheer shock when you were met by a hanging, upside-down person dressed in a red and black Lycra suit, face all covered with a mask making the identity of the person pretty much unknown.

Your heart beat quickened as you stumbled back on your feet at the sight of the person, your brain registering it back to a specific boy—one who you saw on screen minutes ago wearing the exact same outfit—even if there was no confirmation as their face wasn't even shown. Your whole body was trembling from surprise, excitement but also worry that it might not be who you think it is under that mask.

Emotions were all over the place as you stared right at upside-down, masked-face of Spider-Man who held a birthday cupcake in hand.

"No, no, stop, please, is this a prank?" You croaked out, shaking your head as tears started to escape your eyes, question a must because you're having a really hard time believing what you're seeing.

It's been a long day, you just really wanted to make sure that what's happening is real and not just a figment of your imagination. You had to make sure that it wasn't the desperation of you missing your boyfriend painting pictures in your head. Not only that, but to really be sure that it's actually him under that mask.

"Guys! Don't even play! Please don't get my hopes up. That's a stunt double right?" You asked into the mic as you looked at your band and the rest of the crew for answers, who gave you nothing but wide smiles. You just feel like it would be too good to be true, and you really don't want to face disappointment if it wasn't him.

On the other hand, out of all the things they could have done to prank you, why would they choose this? It's a bit cruel to prank someone on their birthday now doesn't it? Especially when it involves playing with their emotions?

Unless, it's not a prank at all and you're getting way too ahead of yourself.

Mr. Spider-Man beckons you over, finger pointing at your hand to which you held the mic. With tears already clouding your vision, you moved closer slowly.

Reaching a close enough proximity, you had one hand over your mouth to silence your whimpers as the other lifted the microphone up to where Spider-Man's mouth is supposed to be. And the moment he spoke, you've lost any sense of control over your emotions or your sanity, his voice just too familiar for it to be someone else's.

"Why don't you take off the mask and find out yourself darling?"

You shook your head at the upside down boy as joyful tears streamed down your face, shaking hands lifting up to hook your fingers on the edge of the mask, pulling it down and removing it fully to reveal the face of the man you love.

"You sneaky bastard." You laughed tearfully, Tom only grinning at you all proud, his face now turning redder as the seconds pass by, being upside-down and all.

"Happy birthday sweetheart." He chuckled, offering you the cupcake, which you took gladly, balancing it with the mic on your hand. You were unable to form any more words as you stared at Tom, still unable to believe that it's actually him, and that he's here, in the flesh.

The crowd started to chant the word "kiss" over and over, making you throw your head back in pure laughter.

"We should do the kiss." Tom wriggled his eyes brows at you, mischievous smirk in play and you couldn't stop your eyes from rolling at your boy. But still, you gave in anyway as you cupped his face softly, your heart skipping a beat at the feeling of his warm skin against your palm.

You brushed the tip of your nose with his with a hum, moving closer until there was no space between you two as you captured his lips in yours, all while trying to manage the whole upside-down situation.

Tom sighed in pure satisfaction to finally feel your lips on his after months of being deprived from it, your touch making him feel like he's floating, which says a lot given the fact that he was already hanging mid-air all while being upside-down.

The kiss didn't last long though, too many prying for you two to cherish the moment. The crowd, on the other hand, cheered in amusement at the extremely cliché but sweet gesture, you and Tom giggling between the kiss at the loud support.

"Okay, I'm actually getting dizzy now." Tom laughed once you pulled away, hand gesturing for you to move just a little bit farther, and when you did, he flipped himself right-side-up with ease. A few guys then rushed on stage to help him with the wires, and once they were off, Tom turned to you with a sweet smile, face coated with wholesome contentment to finally see you in person again.

"You're actually here." You whimpered, fresh tears wetting your cheeks some more once he stood right in front of you.

"Aww darling, come here." Tom cooed with a soft chuckle, arms wrapping around your frame as he held you close to his chest, pressing a sweet kiss on top of your head. You couldn't contain your sobs as you buried your face on the crook of his neck, the smell of his perfume filling you up quickly and it only made your grip around him tighten.

You just miss him so damn much, and to actually have him here on your birthday, to be holding him so close after months, it was making every fiber of your being emotional.

"I haven't missed your birthday, not a single one, ever. Why would I start now?" He whispered against your hair, swaying you from side to side in a comforting manner, a soft sigh coming out of you as you felt your heart grow with even more love for this man.

"I still haven't decided if I hate you or love you for doing this." You giggled with tiny sniffles, pulling away to get a proper look at his handsome face, the face that you'll always be glad to see. Hate because he almost gave you a heart attack and for making you worry about him for being gone for a day, and love because, well, he's here now isn't he?

Tom only shot you a wink. "I'll tell you all about it later." He says, hand reaching down to take the microphone from you.

"Hey everyone, I'm Spider-Man." The crowd roared at that, Tom laughing in pure glee, all proud of his choice of words as he slings his arm over your shoulder and pulled you to his side. "I just want to thank you guys for supporting this amazing woman right here. I've been watching the show from the very start and you guys have been incredible."

Tom turned to look at you lovingly, smile coated with delight and adoration, voice layered with nothing but certainty. "I love this woman a lot, so thank you for making her dreams come true and for making her happy."

With just that, you were able to conjure even more tears as you looked at Tom all adoringly with a small pout. The boy stared at you with just as much love, cooing at your reaction as he gave you a soft kiss on the forehead.

How have you managed to get so lucky?

"Right, I'm done crashing your show so take it away my love." Tom finished as he handed the microphone back to you. Giving you one last warm squeeze and a peck on the lips to match, Tom was then waving goodbye to the audience and disappearing side-stage to watch the rest of the show.

Taking in deep long breaths, you turned to the audience with a laugh. "Okay, wow. Mission Ugly Cry is a success then. I haven't see him in months okay I couldn't help the tears."

"I wasn't expecting that at all as you can probably tell by my reaction. How am I supposed to top that now?" You rubbed your temple in feign worry, the audience cheering you in mere support.

You were still sniffling from all the crying along with your throat being little dry. And you were thankful for waterproof mascara otherwise you would've looked even more horrifying.

"God I'm such a mess, can I have some tissues please?" You asked, looking around the crew for help as you attempted to wipe off the tears with your fingers.

Instead of the staff, Tom ran back out with a box of tissues and a bottle of water in hand, making you shake your head in utter hilarity at how corny he is. You couldn't hold back your laughter when he handed you the box of tissues, pulled a couple pieces and held his fingers under your chin as he wiped your tears for you, all gingerly as if he was retouching your make up. After that, he opened up the water bottle to help you drink, then fixed your hair up jokingly and squeezed your nose playfully right after.

Once he was done with, he gave you a chaste kiss on the cheek, waving one last time at the crowd before returning back to side-stage.

"My new assistant everyone." You joked, keeping your eyes on your boyfriend with a grin you can't seem to wipe off. Tom mirrored your expression as he gave you two thumbs up in support for the last song, and with that you turned back to the crowd with a deep, satisfied sigh.

"Right, let's go out on a high note."

* * *

"Absolutely killed it." Tom praised, engulfing you in a warm embrace the moment you got off stage, a soft thank you coming out of you as you squeezed him back.

On your way back to your dressing room, You kept each other close, his arm slung over your shoulder with yours around his waist as you walked through the hallway.

"I'm not leaving your side by the way. I missed you too damn much and I'm not going to waste any second by being a little far from you." Tom shot you his best puppy dog eyes combined with a cute pout, a sweet giggle escaping your lips that made Tom's heart melt ten times over. "Well, I'm not complaining."

It wasn't that long of a walk from the stage to your dressing room but you had time to kill, so you turned to look at your man with a curios glint in your eyes.

"Tell me how you've managed to pull off this extremely over-the-top surprise? I mean, you could've just showed up in my dressing room and I would've cried just as much." You pointed out. Not that you didn't like what he did, you loved what just happened, every second of it, but you cannot deny that what he did was as extra and cliché as one can be.

Tom shrugged with a chuckle, "I know. But I wanted it to be special, you deserve nothing but. And you've got to admit, dangling upside-down in the middle of the stage during your show, all while dressed as Spider-Man is pretty impressive. Plus, we did the kiss. I'd say it's an amazing birthday surprise."

"It is amazing. I just happen to forget how extra you are sometimes." You teased. "I am, but you love me for it." Tom retorted back with a smirk, causing you to roll your eyes with soft laugh.

"Yeah, I do. Thank you so much bub, you always make my birthdays memorable." You sighed, wrapping both your arms around him with a smile full of gratitude. Tom planted another kiss on your forehead, a bright smile on his lips to match yours as he hummed. "Anything for my angel."

"Now, details Holland."

"Right, managed to pull some strings a a week ago and was able to ask few days off, so the whole conflicting schedule wasn't entirely a lie but it wasn't as serious as I made it out to be. Flew out last night right after the shoot. I couldn't handle just lying to you which is why I didn't respond to any of your messages in case I slip up. I'm sorry about that love."

"And then out of nowhere I thought how awesome it would be to pop up as Spider-Man in the middle of your show and do the famous kiss, so I asked Marvel a favor and thank goodness they let me borrow the suit. Called Molly to tell her about my plan, she helped quite a lot. Arrived here earlier this morning, did a test run with the wires and all that while you were still back at the hotel. Changed into the suit to then wait for the time. Oh! And if you actually looked up from your phone earlier down the hall on your way to your get-together, the whole surprise would've been ruined."

You gasped as you smacked his chest lightly. "That was you! I knew something was up." You felt really played, knowing you could've seen him if you did as much as peek up from your phone. But then again, it would've ruined the whole thing, and you really don't want to change anything that has happened today, so you're glad you didn't.

Tom could only laugh at your reaction, giving your pout a sweet peck before continuing. "The video messages were planned a long, long time ago but we made a few edits at the end of my bit to make it dramatic and here we are now."

And just as he said those last words, both of you now stood in front of the door of your dressing room. If there's one thing you always tend to be surprised about Tom, it's his impeccable timing.

"You are something else Thomas." You gushed, referring to today's escapade and just in general. You really are so lucky to have someone like him in your life, so thoughtful, caring, kind and just all around amazing.

You don't really know what came over you but the moment he opened the door to your dressing room and are your way inside, just knowing that you two were finally alone, you grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled him down, crashing your lips on his as you pushed him back against the door, closing it shut in the process.

Tom chuckled lowly at the sudden change in mood, hands taking home on your waist as he relished the taste of your lips, one he's missed so bad.

The thick fabric of his suit was starting to irritate him for he just wants to feel your skin on his fingertips, especially after so long of not having to touch you. It got on Tom's nerves even more when he felt it grow even tighter than it already is.

And when you started to nibble on his bottom lip as your hands inched down his body slowly, Tom groaned, pushing you away gently, just for a little room to breathe. "Darling, it's very uncomfortable, borderline painful when I get hard in this suit, you know that." He grumbled, brown eyes a shade darker as his grip on your waist tightened.

You giggled, recalling all the times you've teased him whenever you came to visit him on set. "Hmm, let's get you out of it and go back to the hotel then."

Tom's bottom lip got caught between his teeth at your suggestion, your insides churning as he looked at you lustfully, a deep rumble erupting from his chest when he said,

"We definitely should. After all, this isn't the only surprise I have in store for you sweetheart."

-:-:-:-:-

Like & Reblog if you enjoyed and let me know what you think! <3

[nightswithkookmin]

JIKOOK: ARE CONGRATULATIONS IN ORDER?

Disclaimer:

Everything expressed in here is my opinion. It is not intended to be malicious or disrespectful to any of the parties mentioned in here. Please do not hate on or send hate anyone mentioned in her expressly or by inference.

In my previous posts, I pointed out how this past year, from August 2019 to June 2020 has been a rollercoaster ride for Jikook. Their relationship has been all over the place with some even concluding they have broken up for good- you wish!

My inbox has been flooded with questions such as: Are they still broken up, are they good, are they married...

Y'all think I'd be here blogging at 1 AM for Tumblr if Jikook were married married?- Ok, I would. Lol

But No, Sis. Jikook aren't married. Not that I know of. But don't be sad though because THEY ARE BACK! Fully back to function. By that I mean Jimin mostly. Jk never left. Lol- I'll explain in a bit. But yes, I'm happy to report that they are Jikooking again!

I refrained from posting about their new moments especially this July moments because even though they've been back together after a long period of on and off again relationship during ON comeback through to festa season, and then May when JM finally asked for space in their relationship(see previous posts for details)

I've being unsure about Jimin. I've been anxious to know what the outcome of his asking for space to think things through would be.

Jikook have a push and pull relationship dynamic. We been known. Mostly when one steps back from their relationship for whatever reason, the other leans in to pull them back in.

Same thing has been happening from January where Jimin would be pulling one minute, the next he would be like meh and JK would be push to pull him back in.

That was the case in this (June-July) Japan comeback interviews. Jk was front center with expressing interest in JM pulling him whereas JM was like meh, I'm down for this baby but let's keep it professional for the group's sakes.

Just look at them here... (Photo of them at 2020 Japan interview where Jk said he was looking at JM)

See what I mean? Now you may not notice at first but look at JM's demeanor and compare it to moments in past interviews whenever JK is talking about him or their relationship.

Jk was on his flirting game which he usually is when he wants to break the ice with Jimin if there's been tension between them or when someone around is making a pass at JM and he wants them to know what's up- he ain't slick. Lol

At times too he takes the initiative to flirt when he is feeling super confident and cocky and hella bold and just wants to. Trust me, when he flirts with Jimin, IT IS NOT FOR FANSERVICE. He means that shit.

Now compare JM's body language in that Japan interview moment this one right here: (photo of JM and Jk at the interview where JK said from now on together)

Jimin usually acts very coy, giddy and whipped even around JK when JK flirts with him but most importantly he seems to egg JK on in such moments. He enjoys being claimed openly by JK just as much as JK loves being claimed by JM publicly- which is why as nervous as that makes him he keeps going back for more.

Now this is gonna sound controversial but I have seen JM tell Suga off at times when Suga has tried to initiate skinship with him. I won't show you the picture but you can watch it for yourself during the On Come back where they wore Purple and black. It happened right at the moment Suga touched JMs back. JM mouthed 'Hajima' to Suga to stop touching him. That's all I'm gonna say y'all. Lmho. Don't want trouble.

My point is, these boys have a filter. If they don't want something done to them they won't hesitate to say it or show it. Much like when JK pushed Tae's hand away during a VLive- and he's pushed JM off sometimes too. He is assertive more so than all the members. If he doesn't want something he won't do it or allowed it.

Suga asked him not to get the tattoos when he first expressed interest in them way back in American Hustle life. But he told them if army loves him they would love everything he does and not try to limit him. Jk does as JK pleases.

So yea, if JK didn't like what Jimin has been doing with him he wouldn't be around him much less reciprocate those feelings and actions and initiating them on his own at times. Their interactions are MUTUAL.

And yes, that was shade.

Jimin understands the guts it takes JK to take such initiatives with him and so he kinds of encourages Jk to go on with it or acts in a way that boosts JK's ego. Like when JK shouted 'arrest me' in the middle of an interview. Jk... SMH.

So it was a bit unsettling to watch JM not even try to flirt back with JK in moments like this like he usually would. Dude wasn't even initiating their shtick during this period first of all nor was he responding to them in a way he usually would.

Not sure the aesthetics he was going for here but it screamed let's keep this professional on camera and get naughty when we get home. Or much like, dude I asked for space and I'm realizing I like you just as much but stop coming on too strong.

Which frankly, is what the members have been asking them to do since October last year when the hashtag to cancel Jikook in S.K trended. So JM wouldn't be wrong to take such a stand....

Given that the crux of their issue has been that Jikook is developing into a brand almost independent of BTS' brand and this in a way is affecting the dynamics of the group, a little discretion wouldn't hurt.

The cheers for Jikook moments are getting louder and louder each year even at events such as awards and not just on stage. Jikook is taking a lifeform of it's own. Its becoming a brand almost as powerful as BTS' brand. They are a power couple or becoming one. Like or not. Their fans are becoming loud and large too. So often, lately, it seems they tend to steal the show and direct attention away from the band. It's crazy.

Tae literally had the floor, delivering his speech at the MMA 2019 but people weren't even paying attention to that at all. They were more interested in Jikook and whatever they were doing and they went nuts the moment JK held Jimin and even wilder when he placed his head on Jimin which is what lead to infamous standoff with RM.

JM had literally bumped his butt against Hobi's crotch region moments before the Jikook moment but the crowd didn't lose it as much. Please go back and listen to the deafening sounds of the crowd for yourself.

As much as we love Jikook, there are some that don't and they can be very loud. I'll leave it there. Please support Jikook. Thank you.

BTS had a whole concert end of October 2019 and the hashtag that trended was 'cancel Jikook.' That took away from the hardwork of the band and reduced it to a few seconds of two boys fanboying over eachother. That's.... sigh.

When you see it this way, the RM separating them at Jingle bell red carpet, on stage or even BigHit trying to regulate their Vlives make sense.

Moving on. So yea I wasn't sure about JM all this past few months especially as I believe he had asked for space in their relationship. You might not think much of it but given as JM had said in the past how if he had a lover he would want to be with them all the time and Jikook do spend a lot of time around each other but suddenly hear them talk about spending time apart and enjoying it and what not....

But I think I can stop worrying now because HE IS BACK! There is a new Jimin in town and he is taking names! Good for him!

And I don't mean his new hairdo this August. I mean the new attitude. This attitude:

In this interview he says he would take JK to an island which smart decision. I would take JK too cos dude can do anything, cant he?! Bless him.

But thats beside the point. What I think is happening here is, Jimin finally took a stand. He made up his mind and he is not getting pushed around anymore. Because this Jimin hasn't showed up in a while now. Now he seems quite defiant most times if you've been paying attention to him, so rebellious, so sure of himself. Good for him. Spending time to himself has done him some good. It's given him room to reflect and sort out his priorities.

He loves his work, his band and he loves JK and it's hard when all of those start rubbing against eachother. But Fuck professionalism. He is in love with JK and that is professionalism too. Add loving JK till the end of time to his profession bishes!! :p

Sorry. I got carried away.

But seriously, he seems like his old self but it's also a new self because he hasn't been that self for a hot minute. This is JK's sweat tastes like holy water Jimin. This is I promised Jk I will go to the moon with him Jimin, this is I wanna go on a trip alone with JK Jimin- but badder. If you are a hardcore JM stand like I am you'd understand what I'm talking about.

HE IS BACK BABY! Our daddy is back!

The point of this post is to say, I believe JM finally figured out what he wants. So now hopefully the up and down should die down because quite frankly it's hard to keep up with those two I swear! We need a smooth sail Jikook. Make it happen!

I love it. I love where this is going and I can't wait to see more of their interactions so cheers to Jikookers and congratulations to Jimin for putting his shit together. We wanted rain. We about to be hit with a tsunami of Jikook moments.

Stay blessed. Stay beautiful. Jikook forever.

Signed,

Goldy

[moonstruckholland]

Can We Go Back To Bed? (t.h)

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: 2,497

Warnings: angst, fluff if you squint, flashbacks

A/N: this was supposed to come out a couple of months ago 😅 but here she is, the first one shot of my Cosmic Soul series! Shout out to @fangirlwithasweettooth and @hollandsamor for being amazing and reading this over for me! I really hope y'all like it 💕

Tom had never felt as far from you as he did lying next to you tonight.

Lying next to you was honestly a bit of an overstatement. With the way you were laying, there was enough space between you to fit a whole other person on the bed. You were curled up on your side, so close to the edge, Tom was worried with one wrong move you’d just roll onto the floor. He considered reaching out, moving next you, but for the first time since you started dating he was truly scared of being rejected, of the pain he knew he'd feel if you pulled away from him.

He wanted nothing more than to touch you, kiss you, anything. He just wanted to feel close to you. Instead he quietly got up, careful not to wake you as he made his way out the room, the whole night replaying in his head.

Everything was off from the moment he walked through the door.

“Princess? I'm home!"

Flowers in hand, he walked through the apartment, looking for you. He heard a door open and a soft, “Tom?” come from the bathroom as he set his luggage down in your bedroom.

“I’m here, baby.”

You poked your head out of the doorway, hair wet and matted, a towel wrapped around your body, “Tom! Hi!”

He had expected you to run up to him and jump into his arms, like you always did before.

Instead, you casually walked over, kissing his cheek as if he hadn't been gone for months, "You didn't tell me you were coming home!"

He hadn't thought much about in the moment, but now, he could tell something was just wrong.

He knew something would be different, that was the price that came with being gone for months at a time. But not with you.

You'd always been a constant for Tom, giving him a wonderful sense of security he lacked in his hectic life. He knew no matter he could count on coming home to your warm and loving embrace.

Or at least he did.

The rest of the night had been just as weird as when he came in. You had your normal movie marathon like you did every time Tom came home, but this time around that feeling that you were out of reach was in the back of Tom's head.

You were too far, barely touching him, and you sure as hell didn't say a word to him. The normal joking around was gone, replaced with silence despite the sounds of the movie surrounding the both of you.

You had asked him questions every once in a while, about his flight, if he was tired or hungry. If he hadn't been paying too much attention, he would've thought it was just you being your normal, caring self, but it was too polite, like he was just someone visiting.

He couldn't stop dwelling on it no matter how hard he tried and that's how he found himself walking around the apartment, coming to realize it just as different as you were.

It was all little things and maybe if he didn't feel the need to look so closely, he probably never would've noticed, but he couldn't help it now.

There were flowers everywhere, fake ones in pretty vases all around because the real ones made you sad when they inevitably died. Tom could almost picture how excited you must've been setting up each vase and how long it probably took you to decide where to put them because you were such a perfectionist.

The blankets and pillows on the couch were different too, cute little sayings stitched into each one, and Tom wondered when you'd gotten then. You used to always tell him when you got new things. When was the last time you'd mentioned going to Hobby Lobby or Target?

What stuck out to Tom the most were the pictures you had. Some of the old pictures of the two of you were replaced with people he'd never seen before, he assumed co-workers, though he couldn't recall you telling him about anyone in the photos with you.

He felt a pang of guilt. How much had he missed?

He finally came across a familiar picture, one Harrison had taken of the two of you when you weren't looking the day you moved into this apartment together. You and Tom were smiling goofily at each other, pulling out things from a box on the floor.

Tom couldn't help smiling as he thought back to that day, to how happy you were.

"Tommy, baby, you have to be careful carrying that box. It has all our plates and I don't think you're gonna want to eat off a napkin." You warned him as you watched him carry the heavy box on his own, despite you and Haz both offering to help.

"I'll be careful, princess, I promise," he said confidently before somehow tripping over his own feet and hitting the wall, the plates clattering loudly

Tom looked back to see you rolling your eyes as if you knew he would do exactly that. He quickly put the box down on the floor, finding the box cutter on the kitchen counter and opening it up to make sure he hadn't broken anything.

He let out a sigh of relief before yelling out, "They're all okay!"

You shook your head at him, but Tom could see a smile on your face as you tried not to laugh.

You approached him, mumbling something about putting the plates away before Tom could break them.

Harrison was behind you, carrying a box without any complications, "It's not too late for me to take him back, y/n."

"I might just take you up on that, Haz."

"Hey!" Tom pouted, "You don't mean that do you, baby?"

You wrapped your arms around him, standing up on your tippy toes to plant a big kiss on his cheek, "Never, honey, I don't know what I'd do without you."

He put a hand on your waist, pressing a kiss to your lips before saying, "Good thing you're stuck with me then."

You were about to say something when you were rudely off by Haz throwing a napkin at you, "Oi, you two, come help me unpack your things please."

You pulled away from Tom, your laughter filling the room as you went to help. Tom watched, a warmth filling him as he thought about how lucky he was to be living this with you.

'What happened?’ He wondered with a sigh, the fond memories fading, leaving him with an achy feeling in his chest as he plopped down on the couch.

The sound of the bedroom door opening startled him, pulling him out of thoughts completely.

“Baby?” You shuffled over to him sleepily, eyes squinting at the bright light, “What are you doing up so late?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

You nodded, taking a seat beside him, laying your head on the soft cushion.

“What’s wrong, Tommy?”

Tommy. It was a nickname he had grown to love over the years.

“My Tommy,” you’d always say, usually right caressing his face fondly or pressing your lips to his.

He hadn’t realized just how much he missed hearing it or how long it’d been since the last time it came from your lips.

He didn't answer your question, looking down at his fingers. What was he supposed to say? "Hey, babe, I feel like our relationship is falling apart and I was wondering if you felt the same?"

No, he absolutely couldn't say that, but he couldn't just not say anything at all.

You gently touched his face, grabbing his drifting attention once more, "Baby, talk me. What's going on?"

He debated with his thoughts for a moment longer, before finally deciding to work up the courage to speak what was on his mind.

"I miss you."

You gave him a little smile, "I'm right here, silly."

"Are you?"

One question and Tom started to wonder if he should've kept his mouth shut, the hurt and confusion that immediately came over your face causing his heart to ache more than he thought was possible.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Y/n, you're sitting right in front me and I still feel like you're a million miles away."

You were speechless, not expecting those words to come out of his mouth.

"I, um, I don't know what you mean," you stammered out quickly, clearly lying.

Of course you knew what he meant, how could you not? A feeling of remorse flooded your body, you knew you'd been a bit distant, but you didn't know it'd been this bad or noticable.

It'd been so long since you really got to talk to Tom, both of you swamped with work and social lives, your paths barely crossed anymore. Before you knew it, your once amazing relationship, full of great communication, had been reduced to superficial and empty conversations.

"You don't? So nothing feels different between us right now?"

"I don't know what to say, Tom," you sat up, as if to get a better look at him, but you didn't meet his eyes, "Yes, something's different. Did you expect everything to be exactly the way you left it months ago?"

"No, I just," he ran his fingers through his hair, and you could tell he was choosing his words carefully, "I wish you cared more."

'Fuck,' it was like being punched in the gut. Tom meant the absolute world to you and for him to think you didn't care? It broke your heart.

"I care, Tom," you practically whispered, your voice full of sadness.

He didn't say a word, nodding instead, as if he wasn't convinced.

You sat in silence, for what felt like forever, just staring at everywhere but each other before Tom finally said something.

"Do you remember when you, Haz, Z, and I would get super drunk and stay up all night playing Mario Kart?"

You smiled, for a second you could almost imagine the four of you sitting on the couch, yelling and laughing, having the time of your lives, "As if I could ever forget, even drunk I could kick all of your asses.”

"That’s because you would always cheat!"

"I would not!"

Tom jokingly rolled his eyes, and for a moment the tension was gone. You were back to normal, all of your fears and worries ceased to exist. It was like you’d gone back to a time where things were simpler.

The illusion came crashing down the second you softly and very sadly said, "I miss those days."

Tom almost wanted to agree with you, to continue to remicine the past with you and go back to the feeling of ease the two of you had just seconds ago. Instead he asked, "What are we going to do?"

You didn't meet his eyes, "I don't know."

“I think I should stop working for a while, take some time off.”

For a moment, a part of you considered what that would mean. Tom would be home more often, you could actually see him, spend time with him. That was the same part of you that wanted to beg him to stay every time he had to leave. It was begging you to encourage him, telling you it’d be the perfect opportunity to rekindle your relationship.

Another part of you knew better though. It’d be selfish to ask Tom to flush all his hard work down the drain for you. You weren’t worth his career.

“No, absolutely not,” letting the latter side fuel you, “Babe, you can’t just stop working.”

“Why not?”

"You've worked so hard, I’m not going to let you throw that away for me."

'I'm not worth it,' is what your mind was practically yelling at him. You truly believed you weren't. You were just one person, how could you compare to the years of work and effort he'd put into his career?

"Do you love me?"

The question almost caught you off guard, of course you loved him, a lack of love for the man standing in front of you was definitely not the problem.

"More than anything."

"Then, please, angel, let me do this."

Tom had a look in eyes, one full of determination and you knew he had already made up his mind, but you couldn't help feeling like you had to convince him otherwise.

"Acting is your dream, Tom."

“No, you and I,” he motioned between the two of you, tears starting to well up in his eyes, “together. That’s my dream.”

"I don't want to lose you."

"Hey," you grabbed his face gently, using your thumbs to caress his face soothingly, wiping his tears away, "I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm not ready, baby, I'm not,” he choked on a sob, heavy tears falling freely down his face now.

You didn't say anything, you just wrapped your arms around him, holding him tight against your chest. You hoped your actions spoke the words you wanted to speak, but didn’t know how. You loved Tom more than anything and seeing him hurting, seeing your relationship fail first hand was killing you.

You started crying as the full extent of the situation finally hit you. Your relationship was failing. It was failing and you didn’t know what to do or how to fix it.

You felt like you couldn't breathe, like there was something heavy, crushing you. You were glad to have Tom there, his presence the only comfort you had at the moment.

You weren’t sure how long you stayed like that in each other’s arms, your sobs eventually turning to soft cries before stopping all together, finally letting you catch your breath.

Tom untangled himself from you, his puffy eyes meeting yours, "Can we go back to bed?"

"Of course, Tommy."

You wiped the remaining tears off his face, then the ones on your own, before grabbing his hand and gently leading him back to your room, back to your bed, back to where he belonged.

You climbed in right after him, immediately settling into your designated spot in his arms, your back against his chest, his arms wrapped around your waist. It was almost normal.

Silence engulfed you immediately, leaving only the sound of your soft breaths and the loud rain outside.

There was so much you wanted to say, but you were scared. Everything was falling apart right in front of your eyes and the thought of admitting it terrified you. Almost as much as the thought of losing Tom all together.

But you knew that if you didn’t speak up now, there might not be another opportunity to. There might not be a relationship left to save.

So, you worked up the courage to lace your fingers through his, holding onto him tightly because in some ways your life did depend on it and you whispered, "I'm not ready to wake up either."

Tagging: @fangirlwithasweettooth @bravest-at-heart @constellatinq @hoe-forharry @devildisguiseasangel @ravenclawmarvel @hollandsamor @cosmicholland @fairytaleparker @hollandsosterfield @now-imagine @officiallyunofficialperson @stealth-spiderr @xxxxdelenaxxxx @its-the-aerieljeane @petersstarcadet @babebenhardy @antoouu @lovinnholland @kxrtwxgner @sleepybesson @brookeelee98 @awkwardfangirl2014 @nedthegay @petersmparker @parkeroffline @snjms02 @the-queen-procrastinator @tomhollandsumbrella @spideyosterfield @thollandx @styles-balor4eva @80sthottie @marvelobsessedteenager @marshyrebelcloud @sixwyrxstuff @tomshufflepuff @jillanaholland @itscaminow @howdyherron @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @undiadeestos

[lovesaadiqa]

BBL Costs, Prep + Recovery

Im booked!!  I talked to a few friends who I know either got this surgery or is getting this done.  I wanted one since forever but I wanted my teeth done first.  The deciding factor came down to my birthday plans.  

Originally I was going to do a birthday tour.  First weekend of October in Miami for carnival, 2nd weekend in Atl for Freak Nik, 3rd weekend in Bahamas and finally Nola for the finale.  Well Nola was just hit with a storm so yeah that’s out. Once I totaled up the flights, hotels, food and spending money.. I was like hmm, I can get a fat ass and started this process.  Immediately looked into surgeon and Dr. Pena was my favorite, his bodies come out so mf snatched, he’s located in Columbia.  Columbian surgeons can take out way more fat than American doctors however, the fatality rate is stupid and ultimately the factor that made me choose an American doctor.  

The next step was choosing the surgeon for the body I have and the one I want.  I weigh 151 and im 5′6″ I’m considered a “skinny bbl”.  I started researching doctors in Atlanta (so I could recover at home) and Miami (like duh).  I chose to go with Dr. Desouza in Miami with CG Cosmetics for a few reasons.  First, I love the look of his skinny bbl’s on other women with the same body type, weight and height as me.  Secondly, he was having a special for the end of the year (lipo 360, bbl, jplasma for $6500 for the surgeon I wanted) this almost sold me but it was the surgery date!!  Jplasma is skin tightening procedure to help with loose skin, you can only get this with lipo.  When they perform lipo they created canals under your skin to remove the fat.. well those same canals are essential when getting Jplasma.

Ok so I decided on the surgeon, contacted the cosmetic group and had a consultation which is pretty much just front, side and back view pictures.. I think they use this to make sure you don’t need a tummy tuck prior to surgery.  They also asked me questions about previous surgeries and if i’ve ever had anesthesia.  The next step went pretty quickly, we talked about what would be lipo’d (abs, waist, back.. I wanted inner thighs, an additional 2k, but was advised to wait on my pre-op to decide), when I wanted to book and how I'd pay.  My consult was on August 30th.. I bitched up when she attempted to take my payment.  I am a money hoarder and spending that much money made me feel like I was being financially irresponsible.  I called one of my Aunt’s who I felt wouldn’t judge me and also give me sound advise.  We talked about my fears, why I was getting the procedure and of course money.  My Aunt gave me excellent advice, reassured me and is a professional CNA who offered to accompany me so yeah I dare not turn that down, lol.  August 31, 2021, I called my coordinator (the contact between me and my surgeon) and told her I wanted to book, she asked me when I’d be ready and I requested first available which was 9/20/21!! Excited is an understatement.. I'd be 24 days post op on my birthday.  After I calmed down I paid in full for multiple reasons:  had to in order to secure the date, all surgeries book in this year had to be paid in full, it was the only way to get the discount.. My coordinator gave me so much information I couldn’t see straight (I was also high as shit off life thinking about a fat ass and me in the same sentence).. she emailed + texted everything, congratulated me and we hung up.

I get the emails:  “raise you hemoglobin with these vitamins” I purchased vitamin C $2, folic acid $2, iron $3 and floradix $35 - amazon, I take them as directed on the bottle and start eating my ass off (just to give my surgeon more to work with, lol).  Talking to one of my gf’s I realize I have to be cleared for surgery?!?!  What?  I open my email and sure enough I have to have blood work done 15-20 prior to surgery, it was 9/3 and a Friday.. SHIT!! I fly over to an Piedmont Wellstreet urgent care facility as recommended by my friend (she started this process as well so I was crazy grateful for her experience and that she shared it with me).  Urgent care was full but opened the next day, my ass was in that line at 7:32 am, I was the 13th person in line and they opened at 8.  I get to the desk and my appointment is at 10:30 and I'd have to pay the office visit fee to be seen, it was $155.  I came back at my allotted time and was told how much all of my labs would be.. $302.  My labs were to be processed and faxed to my surgeon by 9/9 because Labor Day weekend so.. yeah.  

I discuss accommodations with my Aunt and realize it’s cheaper, safer and more beneficial for me to go to a recovery house.  I search high and low baby and most of them were booked.. found one regardless with lymphatic massages included called Flawless Recovery House.  This wasn’t my 1st-6th option but the one with availability on my surgery date so I paid a deposit to hold onto my spot.  Total was $1312 for 5 days with 5 massages, I paid a $200 deposit.  Next, I booked my flight, round trip $116 with Delta.  My surgery date is on a Monday, I have to have my pre-op done on the Saturday prior so I booked a hostel from the 18th-20th on booking.com for $66.  I know I could have gotten an airbnb or hotel room but I wanted this experience.  I want to go to Amsterdam and stay in a hostel so I need to know what to expect.  Also I cannot party, smoke, drink or eat before surgery so fuck it.. a hostel will do, lol. 

I smoke big fucking weed and watched someone else’s bbl journey today and realize if I fail the drug test, my surgery will be cancelled and it’ll cost me $1500 to reschedule.  Boy the shit sent me into panic mode like I've never experienced before, only to find out the weed isn’t the issue nicotine is, it slows down your heart rate.  I can smoke weed just not out of a wood or a rillo and nicotine takes 3-4 days to get out of your system so a bitch barely made it.  I just won't be smoking until I get back home lol.  Just to be super informative no alcohol, diabetic meds, cocaine, pcp or anything that will fool with your heart or makes your bleed.  Today is 9/11 and im one week out from my pre-op... my body is a joke cause I haven’t gained a single pound and normally it’s nothing for me to put on weight.  I took my acrylics off, when you’re put to sleep they monitor your oxygen levels with those clamps they put on your fingers and they aren't the most accurate when you have on dark polish or acrylics.  I also cannot wear lashes cause when they go to fill this ass in I'll be laying flat on my face.  I mean my hair didn’t have requirements but I figure since im naked I might as well be bald.. y'all should see me rn, I look very much like a young man but im hype.  I’ll be back later to tell y'all what I pack and purchase prior to my flight.  Imma put the dates at the end of each update.. today is 9/11/21

My surgery group send me list of supplies  that I would need and the cost came to roughly $1100.  Naive me was definitely going to purchase everything on the list from them until I saw Leslie’s (@prettyhaute - on ig) bbl vlog.  I went on amazon and got away with murder.  Below I’ll list what I purchased and the price I paid versus what the surgery center was quoting me.

Faja - I paid $74.69 - Quoted $160.50 || BBL Pillow - $26.99 - Qouted $42.80 || Arnica pills - $8.95 - Quoted $37.45 || Compression socks - $13.99 for 3 - Quoted $10.70 for 1 || Foams - $17.99 for 3 - Quoted $64.20 for 3 || Scar Cream  $$29.82 - Quoted $80.25 || Arnica Gel - $7.92 - Quoted $21.40 || 

There a shit ton of items on the suggested list that I didn't purchase but way more items that wasn’t on the list I still need for instance:

Crocs, benadryll, robe, adult diapers, straws, earplugs, liquid iv, stool softener, antiseptic body wash, avocado float, back board, urinal, pineapple juice, throat calm, 3 moo-moo’s and a massage roller (the crocs are the only thing on this list that cost more than $20).  My flight is at 7:15a tomorrow and im so damn nervous but excited.  I will spend Saturday and Sunday gallivanting around Miami and then body , ody, ody, ody, ody, ody.  I still have to send my entire itinerary to my aunt but I think im all set.  9/17/21

Pre-op was packed but I went on Saturday and was in and out in an hour.  I was charged for a covid $80, 3 post-op massages $150 and a drug test $20.  I went over my clearance paper work with a medical assistant who also took 9 before pics of me.  Keep in mind, your surgery can be cancelled or reschedule if all of you labs aren’t at the surgery center on pre-op day.  I cannot stress how important it is to take your labs with you!!!  Mine were faxed over from urgent care but I was also provided copies which I took with me.  The photos were sent directly to my surgeon to analyze before surgery.  From my knowledge, I was also to be fitted for my faja but that never happened, do NOT leave pre-op without a faja!!! I paid for 3 massages from CG totaling $150 which I regret badly.  I do NOT recommend getting massages from the surgery center.  There are 4-5 different surgeons performing surgeries on any given day and they do at minimum 4 surgeries per day, that’s at least 15-20 different girls with the same surgery and post-op date.  CG had 2 massage therapists to drain 15-20 girls.  I was drained for 9 mins, your drain massages should last at least 45 mins for maximum drainage.  I only used 1 of the 3 massages I paid for and was denied a refund.  That is a huge downside to CG once they have your money good fucking luck getting it back! Ps. Ellie was a royal fucking cunt!!!!!  She told my medical assistant that I didn’t need a faja so I was never fitted for one and woke up out of surgery with a binder on versus a faja like I should have.  I wanted to slap the shit out of her and took the charge on the chin but I wanted my surgery so I refrained.. I was put on a 12 hour fast and contacted an hour after pre-op with my surgery address and time.  My fast started at 7pm the day before surgery and my surgery time wa at 6:30a, there was a $300 for showing up to surgery late.  All I could bring to surgery was compression socks and a faja (that I didn’t have), I was instructed to bathe with dial (the orange one) before surgery to make sure my incisions weren’t infected, no lotion, perfume, deodorant, makeup, nails, lashes, no jewelry/piercing or hair products and no personals ie, purse money, wallet also you will need a companion or surgery will be cancelled.  I’ll upload all my paperwork at the end.   Surgery day arrive at the surgery center at 6:15 am how about the entire fucking staff was late!  Bitch I was outside in Miami alone with compression socks on and a moo moo, LIVID.  No one arrived until 7:10 am, baby I wanted to kill everyone but fuck it, it was go time.  I’m escorted to a room, changed into a paper gown, piss tested, my labs were reviewed again and finally my surgeon comes in!  We were in the exam room alone which was weird cause I was asshole naked but he kept it 1000% professional, he asked me what I wanted and I say “the fattest ass” he looked me dead in my eyes without a single hesitation and said “it’ll heal like a diaper”  LMAO.  I showed him areas that I wanted lipo’d to death and he marked me up, I didn’t aka e picture of my mark ups but shit was rolling by then, he walked out I put my paper gown back on and the anesthesiologist walked in.  I expressed my biggest concerns to him, I didn’t want to die and I didn’t want to wake up during surgery.  He explain why the drug test was so important because certain street drugs will have adverse effect with the anesthesia.  My anesthesiologist walked me up to the surgery room and I hopped on the table, they put massage boots on both of my feet and inserted an iv, the mask was put on my face and my heart rate went to heaven, I wanted to shit myself bro.  The anesthesiologist told me to make a tight fist, I asked what time it was, 8:08am.. I woke up to a nurse helping me into a wheelchair with a binder around my waist and I was scream crying because my entire body ached, I didn't know where I was and the anesthesia is no hoe.  I was escorted to my recovery house’s transportation van and taken to my damn bed.  

I chose Flawlesss Recovery House with Ms. Opal.  I paid a $200 deposit before 2 weeks before surgery and the balance the day I left.  I opted for a 5 day stay.  I loved it there bro and couldn’t imagine trying to recover at a hotel or air bnb!  There were nurses there 24-7, I was roomed with one other girl but the house had a total of 4 bedrooms, one of which no one occupied and the door was always shut but my room was the only room with 2 beds, the others had 3 beds.  I had a call button, it was love, the nurses came expeditiously when I rang it.  They made 3 home cooked meals per day and I don’t eat meat, they accommodated me with no hesitation.  I loved it man.  So couple hours after surgery I attempted to use the bathroom on my own and blacked out, the anesthesia is really fucking strong and took an entire day to wear off (for me), the nurses helped me pee in a cup until then.  Post op day 9/21/21, I went in to make sure I looked good, got a faja finally and received that lousy as drain.  Back to the recovery house I was able to walk finally w/o passing out and in went my foams, I also could pee by myself with the use of a urinal.  I was constipated for 2 days, first bowel movement was on post op day 2. I paid for an independent massage therapist named Tatiana, she used a ultrasound machine to massage me so I cancelled her.  When I took my faja off for my massage it was washed and dried by the time I was done, I took a shower and put my faja on with my foams.  I cancelled Tatiana because don’t let nobody use no machine on you until you are at least 2 weeks post op, hand massages only.  All the girls were getting massaged by the literal best massage therapist (in my opinion) her name is Brittany, I could cry she was EVERYTHING, I was tender but she put the painful massage theory to bed!  She taught me how to drain myself and how to open my incisions without the q-tip looking thing.  In 45 mins she drained 5 of those doggy pad things worth of fluid off of me.  I received 4 massages in 5 days.  I left on Saturday 9/25/2021 on Sunday, back in Atlanta, I received my 5th massage and that when I was told I have not one but 2 seromas.  I swear on everything I love it was because everyone wakes up from surgery with a faja on but not me (Fuck you Ellie, lil bitch) I had on a binder (its what they use for tummy tucks).  The lady who did my 1st massage in Atlanta was Bri, not gone post her ig cause she did a damn good massage but when I asked her to syringe drain me the good sis stuck this long ass needle in my seroma but could get the fluid out, cancelled her too (the massage was good asf tho but nah).  Tired and tried I bit the bullet and booked a packed with Dream Body ($455 for 5 massage, I think, don’t quote me look it up on there site and follow them on ig)  because they are the biggest name in Atlanta, Jayda Wayda goes to them.  The  most painful massage yet, yes Michelle lil ass is so strong but she will get the fluid up off you.  She made me tear up bad and no matter how much I screamed or even tried to push her off of me she understood the assignment, Michelle helped me get back into my faja after my massage and told me my faja was too big and to have it altered.  She recommended a lady on ig @siri2sir but to know me is to know I altered my shit myself.  Allow me to tell y'all, I look good asf!!!!!!! 10/4/2021 

[plugloveff]

Chapter 6

Cassidy: 

Looking down at my phone I rolled my eyes in annoyance at the 17 missed calls and 32 messages from Chris. Shoving my phone into the pocket of my sweatpants I motioned for Stephanie to pass me the blunt.

“What’s going on with you?” Chanel asked taking a sip of her drink.

“Chris is getting on my god damn nerves” I replied bringing the blunt to my lips and taking a long pull.

“How is that going? Y'all been together for what three years now ?” Aria asked

“Yeah, but I don’t know how much longer it’s going to last”

“Your just upset right now, you just need to calm down” Chanel said.

“Yeah” I replied but I knew the truth.

Chris was a great person and I knew he loved me, but I wasn't in love with him anymore. I hadn't been for a while now, I was just going through the motions. I didn't want to hurt him, I couldn't he didn't deserve it. Plus who left a man who loved them and treated them like a queen for no good reason. I just kept telling myself I was going through a faze and I was going to find that spark with Chris again. I mean I had to right?

“Cass” Chanel yelled

“Huh” I said snapping out of my thoughts.

“This is Cash, Meek’s cousin” she said pointing to the man who was now sitting next to me.

When my eyes locked on his my breath caught in my throat. Hazel eyes bore into mine, and I couldn't seem to speak. He's gorgeous, no men weren't gorgeous were they? I thought.

“Nice to meet you beautiful” he said smiling at me.

“You too ” I said but my voice came out hoarse.

Cash smirked at me and my entire body ignited like someone had set me on fire. This man was fine as hell and I didn't realize that we'd been having a staring contest until  Chanel cleared her throat breaking my trance.

When I looked up at her she was smirking at me and shaking her head. Looking away from her I picked up the bag of weed off the table and the rolling tray and stated rolling up. I needed to distract myself from looking at him and I could feel Cash's eyes on me.

“Yo Cash I’m coming to the shop this week I need a new tat” Wayne said.

“What you getting ?” Steph asked.

“You’ll see when it’s done” he replied.

“Just lemme know when, so I can squeeze you in” Cash replied.

“Where’s the lighter” I asked

“Here” Cash said pulling one out of his pocket.

Looking at him I took the lighter out of his hand and lit the blunt. "Thanks" I said taking a pull, I let the weed fill my lungs and rested my head back against the chair blowing the smoke out of my mouth.

I felt Cash's eyes boring into the side of my face “You wanna pull?” I asked.

Cash smirked and took the blunt from my hand. When his finger’s grazed against mine I felt like i'd been shocked. It must be the weed she thought.

We spent the next two hours smoking and talking. I felt a sense of comfort talking to Cash as if I’d known him my entire life. He was easy to talk to and he made me laugh. We were in their own bubble tuning out the rest of the group around us.

“Yo I’m so smacked, I feel like I’m talking too much” I said laughing.

“Nah you not, I like talking to you” Cash said leaning his head back against the chair and staring at me.

I felt hot all over again, the more he stared at me the hotter I got. And when he licked his lips I felt my center pulse. Oh no please no !!

“I should probably get going I got an early day tomorrow” I said sitting up.

“You good to drive ?” Cash asked

“Nah I came with Coco but I’ll take an Uber home I don’t look like she’s ready to go” I said looking at Chanel who was snuggled into Meek's lap.

“Nah I can take you home I’m bouta head out too” he said

“No that’s ok I don’t want to take you out of your way"

“Your not I offered Ma, come on” Cash said standing up.

Standing up I said my goodbye's and waited for Cash. “You ready?“ he asked.

“Yeah”

“Aye Cash tread light nigga that’s family” Meek called out to him but I saw the smirk on his face.

Cash chuckled and shook his head “Nigga I’m family” he replied as he lead me out of the backyard.

When we got to the driveway Cash opened the passenger door to a cherry red Ferrari.

“Aren’t you a gentlemen” I said as I slid into the buttery seats.

“Only for you” Cash said closing the door and getting into the driver’s side.

“Alright where we off to?” Cash asked when he was behind the wheel.

Telling him my address I rested my head against the window. The weed in my system had me super relaxed and it was only a matter of time before I fell asleep.

When we pulled onto the highway, Cash broke the silence. “You sleeping over their lil mama?“

“No I was about to but your loud ass interrupted me"

Cash laughed and I couldn’t help but smile at the sound of his deep laugh.

“You can’t fall asleep on me, I need you to entertain me” He said

“I look like a clown to you? Plus I’m losing beauty sleep right now"

“Nah you not a clown lil mama, and I'on think you need beauty sleep"

"And why is that?"

"Because you're already so beautiful” he replied.

I bit my lip trying to hide the smile that threatened to spread on my face. "You're real smooth, you say that to all the girls?"

"Nah only the one’s I’m really interested in” he replied.

“So your interested in me?"

"Hell yeah I’m tryna be invested though if you let me "

I couldn’t find the right words to say so I nodded my head and looked outside the window. I heard Cash laugh.

Pulling in front of my apartment I sighed and looked up at the tall building. "Thank you for the ride Cash” I said unbuckling my seat belt.

“Wait” Cash said putting his hand on my thigh.  “I was wondering if you could do something for me in return" he said.

"What?” I asked glaring at him.  

Cash smiled “Noting like that lil mama. Can I have your number? You know to work on my investment?” he asked.

I playfully rolled my eyes “Who said I was available?"

"Nobody but if you are he obviously ain’t doing his job right"

"Why would you say that?"

Cash leaned into me, his lips only inches away from mine. "Because I wouldn’t let your fine ass out of my sight if you were mine."

"Oh” I said feeling my pulse quicken.

Cash bit his lip and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. “So them digit’s? You might as well give them to me cause I ain’t gone stop till I get them. All I gotta do is text Meek and they’re mine” he said.

“He wouldn’t"

"Oh but I’m very persuasive” Cash said.

I knew he was telling the truth because he was finessing me right now. I knew this was a bad idea but I took his phone and typed in my number. When I handed it back to him his smile was so cocky I rolled my eyes.

“Good night lil mama” Cash said cupping my chin in his hand and kissing my forehead.

"Goodnight Cash ” I said getting out of the car.

I quickly walked into my building fighting with myself not to turn back and look at him. When I got on the elevator I rested my head against the cold metal trying to calm myself down. My heart was pounding against my chest. What the fuck was that? I thought.

I went to sleep that night next to Chris but dreaming of Cash. And I knew I was in trouble.

Chanel: 

Stepping out of my Louboutin's I sighed feeling my feet hit the bare wood floor. My feet were killing me and I desperately wanted to take a hot bath and climb into bed with my man. Unfortunately for me I was the girlfriend of a gangster which meant most nights I went to bed alone.

Walking into my bedroom, I dropped my Birkin bag on the dresser. Noticing the balcony door opened I stepped out onto the patio. When I saw Robert standing on my balcony I paused.

"What the fuck are you doing here?” I asked

“I’ve been trying to talk to you for a while. You have me blocked on everything and I’ve tried to get to you at work but Stephanie hasn’t let me talk to you. I got lucky that there’s a new guard downstairs and he let me up” Robert said.

“You wanna talk to me? You have 30 seconds make it fast” I said.

“Chanel I love you I know I fucked up believe me I know and I’m sorry about that if I could take it all back I would. But you not really with this nigga Chanel if you think I was bad what do you think a nigga like that is gonna do?” Rob said.

“He’s never given me a reason to think other wise Rob I can’t say the same for you though. And your thirty-seconds are up” I said.

“Just tell me do you love him more than me ?"

Rolling my eyes I shook my head. "You really want this answer?"

"Yes, if you do I promise I’ll leave you alone"

"Robert I loved you since I was 18 years old, you were my first real love. But I’ve never loved anyone the way that I love Meek” I said.

Robert looked at me stunned by my confession. “Oh okay then. I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy Nel and if he makes you happy then I’ll fall back"

"Thank you"

"I just hope he realizes what he has and holds onto it before it’s too late”

“He knows” I replied.

Nodding his head Rob walked over to me and planted a kiss on my forehead. “Take care Chanel” he said before walking out.

When I heard the elevator doors close I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Stepping off the balcony I walking into my ensuite and set myself  a bath. Pulling my hair into a high bun on top of my head I connected my phone to my beats pill. Kehlani’s voice poured through the speaker as I sank into the tub.

The hot water eased my tense muscles.Closing my eyes I let out a deep breath and sank deeper into the tub. My mind replayed the last few minutes over and over again. I had finally closed the door on my relationship with Rob, he was my first so I knew I would always have love for him. But the love I felt for Ahmeek was different it was borderline obsessive, dangerous. Someone had already lost their life over it. And I wondered what or who else would pay the price of our love.

Then there was the detective who was looking into Jennifer’s disappearance. You mean murder.

Meek promised me that it was all taken care of but I still feared the worst.

That wasn’t the only thing that bothered me though. I knew that if the detective hadn’t told me; Meek wouldn’t have and that bothered me. He was so good at hiding it from me he didn’t even seem fazed by it. If he could hide that from me then what else would he hide from me?

I wanted to trust him but something told me that there was more to Ahmeek Brown than I knew and I wasn't sure how much I really know the man I slept next to every night.

I sat in the tub for almost an hour deep in thought and when the water got cold I quickly washed my body off and stepped out of the tub.

Throwing on some boy shorts and one of Meek’s shirt’s I climbed into bed. Glancing at my phone it was already 3 am. I was exhausted but my body fought to stay awake. I just needed to see him before I closed my eyes. Rolling over to his side of the bed I hugged his pillow. His scent still lingered on it and my body relaxed deeper into the mattress.

I was addicted to this man I needed him I craved him and on night’s like this when I couldn’t have him I felt uneasy.

Picking up my phone I sent him a quick text message.

Chanel: I love you, be safe and I’ll be waiting for you at home.

I didn’t wait for an answer because I knew he’d be busy. Gripping the pillow tighter I fell asleep.

                                                      ___________  

It’d been two days since I had heard or seen Meek and I was going crazy. I’d reached out to Dre and Wayne and they assured me that he was fine. Which turned my worry into rage, because it meant he was purposely avoiding me but I wasn’t sure why.

Sitting on the edge of my bed I fastened the straps of my Tom Ford heels. The girls were dragging me out of the house to get my mind off of Ahmeek. But there was no use my mind was constantly on Ahmeek he had infected my entire body and mind. Days without him had been torture for me.

Sighing I stood up from the bed and walked to my mirror. The distressed jeans and crop top I wore weren’t my normal club attire but I wasn’t in the mood to put any effort into my outfit.

Pulling my hair into a high ponytail I grabbed my wristlet and headed for the elevator. Reaching for my car keys, I noticed the keys for Meek’s Ferrari on the hook. Smirking I picked them up and stepped onto the elevator.

Pulling up in front of the club I noticed my friends waiting for me. Putting the car in park I stepped out of it and walked over to my friends.

“You wanna start a war tonight I see” Aria said.

“What are you talking about?” I asked smugly, I knew exactly what I was doing.

“You know someone’s gonna spot his car and snitch on your ass right?” Aria asked pointing to the custom car.

Shrugging my shoulders I walked into the club with Steph and Aria close behind.

I had plans to make a scene tonight, if Meek wasn’t gonna answer me. I was just going to have to get his attention another way.

Meek:

I clenched my jaw as Wayne pulled up in front of the club. When I saw my Ferrari parked on the corner my blood boiled. Wayne hadn’t even fully put the car in park before I hopped out.

“Where is she?” I asked the bouncer.

“Last time we had eyes on her she was by the bar” he said.

Nodding my head I stepped into the crowded club with Wayne and Dre on each side of him. I scanned the bar looking for Chanel.

"Aye we got action” Wayne motioned towards the end of the bar where Chanel, Aria and Steph were doing shots. My jaw clenched when I saw the man standing behind Chanel wrap his arm around her waist.

"Ah shit” Dre said shaking his head because he already knew what was going to happen next.

Pushing through the crowd I got to them so fast that Steph and Aria didn’t have a chance to warn her.

“If you like having your hand I would move it” I barked out.

I noticed how Chanel’s body stiffened when she heard my voice. When she turned to face me her eyes were red and low. She was high and from the empty shot glasses on the counter she was drunk as well.

“Oh now you care” she asked, leaning closer into the man’s arm with a smirk on her face.

Chanel was definitely drunk and she was testing my patience.

“Chanel let’s go” I said.

It was taking everything in me not to knock this man’s head off his shoulder’s and fling Chanel over my shoulder to my car.

“No, you ain’t speak to me for fucking day’s didn’t even check on me. For no reason now you think I’m just going to leave with you? No fuck you” Chanel spat. She was fuming, her eyes were wild and her breathing had picked up.

We glared at each other, the tension between us was  thick. Each one of us daring the other to do something.

“I'on think she wanna go with you my man” the man who lingered on Chanel said.

Breaking my eye contact with Chanel I glared at him. “What the fuck you just say to me ?” I asked taking a step closer to him.

Dre and Wayne watched on ready for whatever. That’s just how we rolled, if one bussed we all bussed.

“Yo I don’t mean no disrespect but she don’t seem like she wanna leave with you. Maybe you should just fall back” he said.

I let out a throaty chuckle, danger flashed in my eyes. As he locked one hand over the opposite wrist. I stared my opponent dead in the eyes.

“You see you’re trying to keep me from my girl and that is what I take as disrespect. Look around you, think about what you doing before you have your mama crying in all black ” I stated.

I didn’t want it to come to this because the clubbed was packed and I wasn’t one who believed in leaving witnesses. But if it came to it, I would handle it.

The man glanced around the club, he hadn’t noticed before the two men that sat on either end of the bar. Or that the guards all seemed to be staring at him. He was out numbered, this wasn’t a fight he wanted.

Nodding his head he glanced down at Chanel “take care of yourself” he said before walking away.

Chanel rolled her eyes at looked back at me. “You happy now? You ruined my fun” Chanel said.

“Let’s go now” I said reaching for her hand but Chanel snatched it back. “Don’t touch me” Chanel said pointing her finger in my face.

I had enough of Chanel’s attitude. Groaning I scooped her up and threw her over my shoulder.

“Pass me her bag?” I said while fighting to hold Chanel still.

Aria smirked and handed him Chanel’s bag. “Thank’s. I'mma hit y'all later” I said walking out of the club with Chanel screaming and punching at my back for me to put her down.

When they reached my car, I finally put her down. Opening the door I motioned for her to get in. Chanel stood still with her hand crossed against her chest.

“Chanel stop fucking playing with me and get in the fucking car” I barked at her.

Chanel rolled her eyes and slid into the passenger’s seat. Slamming the car door I got in on the driver’s side.

                                                      ___________________

“You gonna talk to me now, or you gonna keep acting like I don’t fucking exist” I asked.

“You wanna talk now? You been gone for two fucking days and now you wanna talk to me? I had to go to the club and make a scene to get your fucking attention ? My own boyfriend. So I don’t have shit else to say to you Ahmeek.” Chanel yelled.

“I needed to handle some stuff” I said

“So you didn’t think to let me know that?” Chanel asked.

“I needed to calm down before I came to you”

“Calm down for what?"

"I know you had him here” I said my jaw twitching.

“Who?"

"Bitch ass Rob"

Chanel looked at me for a few minutes and then started laughing. "This was because of Rob? Are you serious right now? He was here when I got home, I’ve been avoiding him for months and there’s a new guard downstairs who obviously didn’t know not to let his ass upstairs. But I told him that we were done and that I loved your dumb ass. He respected it and left he wasn’t even here for five fucking minutes"

"He shouldn’t have been here"

"No shit I just said he was here when I got home. So that’s why you been ignoring me? Instead of opening your fucking mouth and actually talking to me” Chanel shook her head and walked out of her room.

I followed behind her. “I’m trying to handle you differently. I don’t wanna be barking at you and fighting with you so I needed a couple days. And then you pull this shit tonight, you testing me Chanel on god you testing a nigga. I was so close to turning that nigga lights out” I said running a hand through my waves.

“You can’t be hurting people because of me” Chanel said.

“I don’t know how else to get this anger out. Two nigga’s already lost they lives cause I was in a bad mood because of you” I said.

Chanel sighed and shook her head. “Talk to me first, if it’s not needed and it’s just because your mood is sour talk to me Ahmeek. I’m not here just to lay down with you I’m here to be your sounding board, if there’s something on your mind or something that’s bothering you tell me I’m here. But please don’t shut me out again. Because I’m gonna be petty and you’re gonna be mad. It’s a dangerous cycle"

"Loving you is dangerous ma. Because for you I’ll do anything” I said.

Chanel’s anger softened. Walking over to me she wrapped her arms around my waist. “25 to life with you pa. I love you” Chanel said.

I sighed and planted a kiss on her forehead. “25 to life” I said.

[sippinpeachtea]

The three times Steve Rogers helps you breathe, and the one time you help him

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: mentions of several panic attacks, violence, major character death, angst, mentions of blood and injuries

Y'ALL this been in my notes for years and I could never finish the last bit before now

Joining the Avengers was the second easiest thing you had ever done. With combat skills that rivaled the Black Widow herself and a precision close to Hawkeye's, all it took was Tony Stark witnessing you take out a group of alien robots, without breaking a sweat, and you were in.

Now the easiest thing you had ever done? Falling in love with Steve Rogers. It was the little things at first, his kind eyes and contagious, bright smile that made your heart flutter and bring out a smile of your own even on your worst days, and his golden heart that always wanted to make sure you felt right at home with the rest of the Avengers. But then you got to know him. His eagerness to do what was right, his passion for drawing, watching movies and talking for hours on end once the screen turned black. His fears, not being able to protect everyone. When nightmares became too much, he always welcomed you at his door late at night with tired eyes, eyebrows furrowed at your shaking, sweat-coated form. His words and a soft, reassuring embrace always brought you back, made you feel safe and warm.

There were times you felt like a nuisance, disrupting Steve's sleep for problems he shouldn't have to care for, but he promised he didn't mind, he'd never mind. And you realised that when you found out you were the only one who had access to his room at every hour of every day. And one night a soft knock at your door stirred you from your sleep, and there stood Steve, panting with tears in his eyes from his own demons that haunted him in his sleep, and you welcomed the super-soldier in his most vulnerable state with open arms and soothing words. You were always there for Steve, and he was always there for you.

The first time it happened was on a mission with Natasha and Steve. It was meant to be quick and easy, follow the suspect and capture him. Except he grew too antsy and held a woman, not much older than yourself, at gun point when he realized the Avengers had been tracking him. With you on the roof of a nearby building as their sniper, Natasha had told you to take the shot. The shot was risky, with a crowd of people surrounding him, and the target was much farther than you've had experience sniping with, and you hesitated before you shot. That one second of doubt is what got the woman killed; the target pulled his trigger before you pulled yours.

You've had your fair share of panic attacks before, so you knew when one was coming. Back on the quinjet, Steve and Natasha tried to convince you it wasn't your fault, but their pleas fell on deaf ears as you stared numbly at the floor, thoughts racing a mile a minute. Steve picked up on the change of your demeanor immediately, you'd never acted this way in front of him before. So when you excused yourself as soon as the quinjet landed, and all but ran to your room, he followed you. His heart broke at the sight of your trembling body, collapsed on the floor of your bedroom with tears streaming down your face, clutching your chest as you struggled to get a gasp of air in your lungs. He fell to his knees and cupped your face in his hands, forcing you to face him.

"Shh, shh, I got you," he soothed. He breathed in and out slowly, waiting for you to follow his lead. And his beautiful blue eyes was what did it for you, filled with concern and something else you couldn't quite pinpoint but it made you feel safe, and made your head spin with how fast it calmed you. You followed his breathing with stuttering breaths and closed your eyes as he pressed his forehead against your own. You licked your lips, your tears leaving a salty taste, as you listened to his words. "I'm here. I'm right here." One of his hands found its way into your own, and he gave it a gentle squeeze as he stroked your cheek with his thumb, as if to make you aware that his words held nothing but truth. "It's okay. It's gonna be okay. I promise," he whispered.

You talked about everything and nothing that night, anything to get your mind off of it. And when you were ready, Steve held you in his arms as you cried and cried because you felt responsible for that innocent woman's death. Nothing but gentle reassurances and words of encouragement and understanding were spoken the rest of the night. And in the morning, when both you and Steve had woken up in your bed, facing each other, you had your first kiss.

The second time it happened was in the middle of a forest outside of a Hydra base. You and Steve had infiltrated the base and had taken out groups of Hydra personnel before Steve ran ahead, eager to protect you and finish the mission. That was his greatest strength, yet his biggest weakness, you believed, he cared about everyone's safety before his own. Footsteps echoed behind you, and you reacted quick as you ducked, and swept your leg out, knocking the man onto his back. You stomped on his wrist and heard a crack as he cried out and released the gun, bending forward, you placed both hands on his upper arm and dislocated his shoulder, rendering his dominant hand useless.

"No, please!" He cried out. You kicked the gun away and stood back, eyes squinted at the man in front of you. He sat up, clutching onto his arm. "The whole place is rigged to blow. Please, let me go."

And then it hit you, how easy it was for you and Steve to enter. The few goons you two ran into that were way too easy to defeat. It was a trap. Tapping into the comms, you ran through the base. "Captain, get the fuck out of there. This place is wired to blow!" You tried to look for him, searching every corner, only to come up empty. "Steve!" you pleaded.

Finally, he answered over the comms. "Understood, Y/N," he answered, slightly out of breath. "Get out. I'll be right there."

And you didn't even hesitate to find an exit and make your way into the forest outside. "Captain?" you yelled out, searching around for the familiar head of blond hair and striking blue eyes. "Steve!" Before you could call out to him a third time, the entire base blew up, and you fell to the ground. Standing up on shaky legs, hands pressed to your ringing ears, you examined where the building once stood, now nothing left but rubble, smoke, and fire in the aftermath. You were quick to tap into the comms again. With a shaky voice, you whispered, "Steve?" Only to receive no response. "Please," you begged. "Please, no!" you cried out.

You were an idiot to leave him behind. You could've helped him, and you both could've gotten to safety together. Instead, you were foolish enough to believe Steve wouldn't run into any trouble, that he'd get out in time, when he could've gotten out faster if you were just there with him. And now... Now he might be gone. The blame, the thought of never waking up in his arms ever again, never being able to kiss him, never even telling him how much you loved him, it became too much, and you found yourself on your knees. Hands clutching on to the dew-covered grass, as you struggled to find your breath.

A set of arms encircled around your waist as someone turned you around. And there were those beautiful blue eyes you thought you'd never see again. One hand clutched in your own, and another cupping your face. "Shh, I got you, baby. I'm here. I'm right here." A squeeze and the rubbing of his thumb against your cheek. In and out, he breathed for you. In and out. In and out. Blue eyes filled with concern and love, you finally realized all those nights ago. "It's okay, doll. It's gonna be okay. I promise."

And when you finally could breathe again, you kissed him with everything in you. And you told him you loved him for the first time over and over again and cried when he said it back.

The third time it happened was when the Avengers fell apart. Steve found Bucky and caused tension between Tony and himself. He promised you Bucky didn't do anything, and that anything Bucky had done had been under the influence of Hydra. The Winter Soldier wasn't Bucky, not the Bucky he knew, the Bucky that came back to him when he saved Steve's life. And you believed him because you trusted him with every fiber of your being. After the Sokovia Accords were introduced, you refused to take sides, and although a little upset, Steve understood because the Avengers were the only family you had left, and you hated to see it divided.

So when Steve had come back to you, shieldless, bruised and bleeding, claiming the Avengers were no more, you couldn't help your mind from racing. What did this mean for your family? For Tony? For Steve? Would you ever see any of them ever again? Your breath escaped you yet again, and you clutched on to Steve because you felt lost and confused. After 2 years of being with the Avengers, being with Steve, it's all you knew. What did this mean for you?

An instinct now, Steve cupped your cheek and clutched your hand. Blue eyes staring into your own. "Shh, doll. I got you. I've always got you." In and out. "I'm right here." A squeeze and a kiss on your forehead. In and out. "It's gonna be okay." He spoke clearly and forcefully because you needed to hear that more than anything right now. "I promise you, sweetheart. It's gonna be okay."

And as you both held each other and cried because things were never meant to go as far as they did, you realized that as long as you had Steve, you'd be fine because although the Avengers were your family, Steve was your home.

.

.

.

.

.

Two years had passed, and you had been in hiding with Steve ever since. There was the occasional visit to Wakanda to see Steve's oldest friend, Bucky, but you were never allowed to remain in one place for too long. Two years of running and a new threat had emerged, one bigger than any superhero had ever faced, the Avengers toughest villain yet: Thanos. You stood alongside Steve, Bucky, T'Challa, Okoye and many other heroes as you desperately fought against the Black Order and their giant army.

All it took was one glance, eager to find a head of blond hair and piercing blue eyes, one moments distraction for Proxima Midnight to use the split second of weakness to pierce you with her spear. She barely acknowledged you, moving swiftly on to another battle as if you were as inconvenient as an annoying mosquito.

You only felt pain for the second she stabbed you and removed her spear. It felt numb afterward, but you could feel yourself grow weak as you fell to your knees, no longer able to support yourself.

You could faintly hear Bucky call for Steve as he watched the blood pour out of your wound, but the battle around you became background noise as you clutched your stomach, hands quickly drenched in red. Your ears were ringing, and just as you were about to fall forward, a pair of strong arms caught you before you felt yourself being lifted up.

Steve ran into the woods, anxious to get you somewhere safe. He laid you in his lap, sitting against a tree, eyes wild and frantic as he pressed his hand against the gaping wound in your abdomen, anything to stop the amount of blood that was leaving your body.

You gazed up at his face, beautiful as ever, with hooded eyes, trying your hardest to stay awake and enjoy your final moment with the love of your life.

"I-I... I c-can't," Steve murmured, voice breaking and tears falling at the sight of you. "Not you," he whispered. His breath was leaving him and his eyes were filled with fear as he searched everywhere to find something, anything to help you.

You recognized the signs immediately, suspicions confirmed when his chest began rising and falling quickly, body trembling, as Steve gasped, trying his hardest to get air into his lungs.

And so you lifted a shaky hand up to his cheek, ignoring the way it stained his face red. "Shh," you whispered. "I got... you," reciting the words he'd told you many times before. You breathed in and out for him, like he'd done for you all those moments before. He watched you with eyes filled with heartbreak, but he followed your breathing with stuttering gasps and ignored the way you wheezed, as if breathing was becoming harder and harder for you.

You placed your other hand over his, against your wound, squeezing with the last bit of strength you had. "I'm," you inhaled shakily, "right h-here." Your movements were slow and weak, removing your hand from his cheek and kissing your pointer and middle finger before bringing them to his sweat-coated forehead. "Y-You... Y-You'll be... okay. I p-promise," you uttered, voice breaking and your own tears beginning to show and match his own at the thought of never seeing Steve again. But he didn't need to know how much it pained you to be a part from him, he needed to be reassured that his life would go on, that he would be okay, like he reassured you many times before.

Your hands fell limply as you felt your life slipping away. "Breathe for me, baby," you whispered, Steve choking on a sob. "I love you."

And when he took his first breath, you took your last.

[artificialqueens]

Unexpected (but I'm worth it) (branjie) - writworm42

A/N: I wanted to write another virginity fic but this time a) lesbian, b) w V as the virgin. Because Holtz messaged me the other day and pointed out that 1st Position would be Excellent inspiration for a first time fic, and y'all know what? She was right, and she should say it

Title from 1st Position by Kehlani. THANK YOU HOLTZ for beta-ing and leaving me laughing so hard w ur comments fdhsfjkh LOVE U <3

Brooke can’t help but feel like something is very, very wrong.

It’s not that things are bad between her and Vanessa; on the contrary, they’re doing better than ever, better than any of Brooke’s previous relationships when they went this long. She and Vanessa see each other every week, cuddle and hold hands and kiss in public and feel secure when they don’t. They feel comfortable quadruple-texting, and safe not to text at all when they’re having a bad day. They’ve met each other’s friends, and for the past couple of weeks, Vanessa’s been hinting that she might want Brooke to be her date the next Mateo family reunion.

But Vanessa’s never spent the night, and as much as it wouldn’t bother Brooke normally, somehow lately, it’s felt… different. Like something has shifted, in the strangest of ways.

Brooke notices it first when they’re watching a movie together. A sex scene flashes across the screen, and Vanessa shifts in her seat, presses her legs together a little. But when Brooke asks if she’s turned on, teases her a little for it, Vanessa blushes and mumbles that Brooke should drop it. The next time Brooke feels the shift, it’s when they’re making out, and Vanessa grinds her hips into Brooke a little more aggressively than usual. Only the minute that Brooke responds by grinding back, Vanessa pulls away and apologizes, saying she needs a minute. And then there’s the time that Brooke brings up sex directly, telling a story she thinks is funny about an ex she thinks Vanessa doesn’t feel jealous of. Vanessa listens quietly, looking progressively more uneasy until Brooke skips to the end, and Vanessa looks relieved.

Something is definitely wrong, and whatever it is, it definitely has to do with sex.

“Why don’t you just ask her about it?” Scarlet sounds matter-of-fact on the phone, like it’s the easiest thing in the world, and Brooke feels a flash of irritation at the suggestion.

“ Because, ” she hisses, “There might be a reason she’s so touchy, and it might be really personal. We’ve only been dating for five months, Scarlet. Five months is so early to disclose some things! What if she’s touchy because she’s a survivor? Or has a social anxiety disorder? Or autism and she’s insecure about reading the signs of whether I’m ready for sex? Or has a phobia of sex or something? Those happen, you know, because of OCD or internalized homophobia or super strict upbringings…”

“Yeah, we know you have issues, Brooke, no need to project them onto Vanessa.” Scarlet scoffs, and Brooke has had it, she really has. It was a mistake to even bring it up, let alone with Scarlet. Sure, Scarlet is intelligent and creative, but the girl possesses the EQ of a gnat, and it’s very clear she won’t be of any help. She should have asked Nina, Nina would’ve been better—

“Have you considered that she might be insecure about sex because she’s still a virgin?”

Brooke stops in her tracks, the suggestion hitting her square in the face.

Of course. It explains why Vanessa seems to be hinting that she wants it, but then pulling back, and why she won’t spend the night. Why Vanessa looks like she wants to say something but can’t whenever Brooke makes a sexual joke at an ex’s expense.

God, Brooke is an idiot.

“I’m not saying you have to kick the door down and start screaming about autism or abuse or exposure therapy, girl.” Scarlet continues, and this time, Brooke listens. “I’m just saying, starting with a question and a disclaimer that she doesn’t need to tell you anything she doesn’t want to isn’t a bad thing. It’s good. Shows that you want to know what’s going on with her, make it better. Everyone should be so lucky to have someone like that in their life.”

Holy shit. If the suggestion that Vanessa may still be a virgin isn’t already enough to shake Brooke, the words that have just come from Scarlet’s mouth certainly are. Because Scarlet is right .

Brooke checks over her shoulder for flying pigs before turning back to the phone, still a little in awe at how obvious her friend’s advice is, how good it is. “You’re a genius, you know that?”

“Yeah, I do.” Scarlet’s voice is casual, but Brooke knows that she’s probably grinning madly on the other side of the line, overjoyed at the praise. It’s kind of cute to think about.

“Just let me know how it goes, okay?”

“Alright, will do.” Brooke nods. “And Scarlet?”

“Mhm?”

“Thanks.”

–

Brooke keeps it casual the next time she sees Vanessa, trying to make everything seem as normal and calm as possible.

Only inside she’s a nervous wreck, visions of what can go wrong spinning in her head. What if Vanessa gets offended or defensive? What if she shuts the conversation down, and then things get awkward between them? What if for whatever reason, they fight? What if Vanessa really does have some kind of baggage, and even if she doesn’t open up to Brooke, it brings up bad feelings or memories for her?

No. Brooke takes a deep breath in, forcing the thoughts out as she exhales. Now isn’t the time for anxiety. If she’s going to spin out about it, she might as well not do it. If she’s going to broach this topic, be ready for Vanessa’s answer, she needs to have a clear, level head. She can’t make this all about herself and how she feels.

Right now, everything needs to be about what’s best for Vanessa.

“Man, you off your game today.” Vanessa grins as she puts a few more letters down on their scrabble bored, poking the tiles softly as she tallies up her points. Twenty, all from adding an ‘E-D’ at the end of a word on a double word score tile. Brooke could have done it if she’d been focused; she would have done it if she were focused. Instead, she’s lagging by about thirty points and still trying to stop her head from spinning.

Fuck. She needs to get out of her head and into the game, or she’s going to lose both her winning streak and her opportunity to talk to Vanessa.

She puts down ‘C-A’ to make ‘CAD’ and winces when she realizes it’s only earned her six points.

“Brooke?” Vanessa prods again, her voice softer this time, and Brooke looks up to see that Vanessa’s grin has fallen away, concern painted on her face instead. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m…” Brooke trails off, then takes yet another deep breath before she can make any more excuses for herself.

No; no more running. She needs to address this, and needs to address it now.

“I wanted to talk to you about something, and I guess I’m a little nervous about it, because I don’t want to bring it up in a way that’s, like, insensitive, I guess? I just don’t want to hurt your feelings, or make you feel bad, or bring up anything that you don’t want to talk about, not that you have to talk about anything you don’t want to–”

“Brooke.” Vanessa brings her hands up to stop Brooke in her tracks, the ghost of a smile returning to the shorter woman’s face despite herself. “Slow down, baby. It’s okay.”

There’s a pause while Brooke catches her breath, calms herself down a little, and then Vanessa looks back up at Brooke, her face serious again.

“This is about how horny I’ve been lately, ain’t it?” Vanessa asks, staring at Brooke intently. “It’s okay, you can be honest with me. I know you’ve noticed.”

“Yeah.” Brooke shakes her head, her stomach settling down completely once the confession is out. “It’s not that I’m mad about it or anything, I’m just… It’s like you keep starting to initiate something, then pull back, and I’m worried that maybe I’m doing something wrong?”

“Oh, baby, no!” Vanessa takes Brooke’s hand, her face softening with sympathy. “It’s not you, don’t worry ‘bout it. It ain’t anything like that. It’s more that–Well, I guess I mean–I’m…”

“You’re a virgin, and you want to sleep with me but you’re embarrassed and worried you won’t be good enough for me?”

Vanessa looks at Brooke, surprised, and retracts her hand. “How did you know?”

“Scarlet had a hunch.” Brooke snorts, and Vanessa rolls her eyes, smiling a little despite herself.

“Yeah, that’s what it is. It’s not that I’m ashamed of it or anything. I mean, you already know I’m a romantic. I was just tryna wait for the right person. And now…well, I think I found her. And suddenly I’m afraid I might mess it up.”

Aww. Brooke feels her heart melt, and can’t help but smile as she reaches across the table to grab Vanessa’s hand again, patting it gently. “Listen, you won’t. I would never think anything bad about you. I love you, okay? By default, it’s gonna be good because of that. And anyway, things always get better with practice, right?”

“Right.” Vanessa still sounds a little skeptical, but her face evens out when Brooke leans over and meets Vanessa’s lips halfway over the table to give her a little kiss.

“You already know what to do, I promise.” Brooke reassures her. “Just let your instincts guide you, and I’ll teach you the rest, alright?”

“Alright.” Vanessa smiles, squeezing Brooke’s hand back, and Brooke relaxes, finally sure that everything’s going to be okay.

“So…”

“So.” Brooke laughs. “Let’s put on a movie and see where it goes, yeah?”

Vanessa doesn’t even have to say anything, nor give it a second thought; without skipping a beat, she’s pushing herself up from the table and grabbing Brooke’s arm, dragging her towards her bedroom.

–

They’re only about half an hour into Ghostbusters when Vanessa’s head finds its way to Brooke’s lap, and Brooke finds herself stroking Vanessa’s hair as they pretend to watch the movie. It’s nice, cozy, even, and Brooke is content to keep feeling the softness of Vanessa’s hair, keep hearing the soft sighs of pleasure she lets out as her eyes flutter closed, then open, then closed again. To stay like this forever with Vanessa, just the two of them and the movie in their own world.

Only then Vanessa squirms a little, and whines in protest when Brooke pulls her hand away. And after a few more moments of restlessness from the shorter woman, Brooke notices that Vanessa’s legs are squeezed together, moving more than any other part of her body.

Oh.  

Brooke smiles, a sudden flash of arousal stirring between her legs. Looks like things are about to get interesting.

“You alright, baby girl?” she brings her hand down from Vanessa’s hair to stroke her cheek lightly, gleefully biting down on her lip when Vanessa shivers at the touch. “You seem a little distracted.”

“I’m— Oh. ” Vanessa sighs when Brooke brings her hand lower still, trailing her fingertips along Vanessa’s body at a snail’s pace and delighting in every goosebump that appears in their wake.

“I’m okay, I’m just—“ Vanessa cuts off suddenly, letting out a whimper and beginning to squirm again when Brooke’s hand finally reaches her chest.

“You’re what, sweetheart?” Brooke watches Vanessa intently as she starts to explore the younger woman’s breasts over her shirt, feeling and experimenting, waiting to see her reaction, making sure she knows that she can get away if she wants to.

“I’m… oh, fuck, Brooke, keep doing that…” Vanessa melts into Brooke’s touch as she finally palms one of her tits, squeezing and massaging it gently, just a little warm-up.

“There we go,” she purrs, “that feel good, Ness? You like it when Mami plays with you like this?”

The nickname isn’t new—it’s something Vanessa’s thrown around a lot, a title she pulls out whenever she wants to reel Brooke into the palm of her hand. It always works, of course, earning her kisses and cuddles and occasionally a completely free dinner. It’s not something Brooke dislikes, either; in fact, it makes her feel powerful, sexy, even. Like she’s in control, because Vanessa wants her to be. So it feels completely right to use now, and if the way Vanessa nods eagerly is any indication, it seems she’s made the right choice.

“Yes, Mami, fuck, I like it so much.” Vanessa moans, leaning into Brooke’s touch.

“Good, I’m glad.” Brooke praises, and fuck it, she’s proud of herself, relieved that she’s actually helping Vanessa, actually making her feel good. Showing her that she’s made the right decision, not just in doing what they’re doing now, but in deciding to share it with Brooke.

Still, there are plenty more things Brooke wants to show Vanessa, and she knows she’d better get to it.

“You know, there’s lots of other ways I can make you feel good, too.” Brooke leans down to plant a teasing kiss on Vanessa’s jaw, smiling against Vanessa’s skin when the shorter woman whimpers and squirms a little more. “What d’you think, baby, want me to show you? Want Mami to make you feel all nice, teach you everything she knows?”

Vanessa doesn’t even have to hesitate this time.

“Yes, Mami, fuck, please, yes. ”

“Good girl.” Brooke forces herself to keep her movements slow and exploratory as she continues to touch Vanessa, moving her hand away from her chest and down her body again.

Truth be told, Brooke would love nothing more than to drag Vanessa up further onto the bed, climbing on top of her and peeling off her clothes in a flurry of kissing and biting and needing her now . But Vanessa is right–she is a romantic, and Brooke wants to give her the exact kind of slow, sensual first time she knows Vanessa is probably looking for.

So instead, she pays attention to every part of Vanessa’s body, keeping an eye out for places that make the younger woman sigh a little louder, clench her legs a little tighter together. She’ll need that knowledge for later, after all.

“Can I touch you here? Like, between your legs?” Brooke pauses when she reaches Vanessa’s pubic bone, right above her slit, pressing down a little to bring Vanessa just a little closer to the edge and giggling when Vanessa responds by keening up into Brooke’s hand, urging her to press down harder.

“If you don’t, we ‘bout to have problems.” Vanessa growls, and she doesn’t have to tell Brooke twice–she trails her hand down all the way between Vanessa’s legs, cupping her pussy through her pants and rubbing it slowly, but firmly.

“So cute, baby.” Brooke murmurs, kissing Vanessa again. “My cute little princess, so desperate for me.”

Vanessa whines, her hips bucking back into Brooke’s hand. “Please, Mami, please, give me more, I need more…”

“Mm, you sure, angel?” Brooke plays at deliberating, despite the fact that her fingers are already circling the button of Vanessa’s jeans, toying and teasing at the cool metal clasps. “You sure you want more?”

“Yes. ” Vanessa hisses, and fuck it, Brooke just can’t hold out any longer.

Brooke undoes Vanessa’s jeans fast, plunging her hand inside to feel Vanessa’s slit over her panties. She gasps when her fingers make contact with the thin cotton fabric, meeting a sticky, slick wetness that’s practically soaking them through.

“My, my.” Brooke tuts, trying her best to conceal her excitement, the way her heart pounds in her chest as she continues to tease at Vanessa’s cunt. “Aren’t we a mess? No, don’t move, baby, keep letting me feel you–there we go.”

She brings her other hand around to Vanessa’s chest, toying with her tits again as she continues to rub Vanessa through her panties, working her way up to focus on the other woman’s clit. “God, you’re so sweet like this, all desperate for me. I should just tease you forever, wouldn’t that be nice?”

“No, no, please, please Mami.” Vanessa whines plaintively, practically shaking as she tries her best to be good, tries her best to stay still. “Please, touch me for real, I need it so bad.”

“I know you do, sweetheart.” Brooke finally gives in, because she needs it too, needs to feel Vanessa’s cunt under her fingers, needs to taste it, needs to hear Vanessa’s moans in full force, see what she looks like when she comes. “Get up for me, baby, let’s get all this off.”

Brooke doesn’t think she’s ever seen Vanessa move as fast as she does in that moment, springing up so suddenly she practically headbutts Brooke in her haste to shed all her clothes and clamber up to the top of the bed.

“Oh my God, slow down!” Brooke laughs, her character broken as she chases after Vanessa, wriggling out of her own clothes in the process. “Baby, don’t rush, come on.”

But Vanessa doesn’t listen, only tossing her arms over Brooke’s neck and pulling her into an eager kiss.

“Hi.” Brooke smiles widely when they separate again, her chest swelling with affection when she sees how flushed Vanessa is, how she’s practically glowing with happiness.

“Hi.” Vanessa smiles back, her eyes sparkling with excitement and contentment, and Brooke thinks she’s never seen Vanessa look so beautiful as she does right then, blushing and sweating and biting her lip as she tries to catch her breath.

“I love you so much.” the words come out softly on the heels of another kiss, then another, this time against Vanessa’s jawline, then her neck, then down, down, down to her collarbone, each peck and nip carrying yet another statement, another confession, you’re beautiful, thank you for sharing this with me, I love you, I love you, I love you.  

“I love you too.” Vanessa murmurs, her eyes hooded and voice thick with need. “Now please, just fuck me already.”

Brooke snorts, but obliges with pleasure. She continues to trail kisses down Vanessa’s body, taking her time to lick and suck at her girlfriend’s skin, the tang of Vanessa’s sweat lingering on her lips. She finally reaches Vanessa’s tits, and barely hesitates before taking one of her nipples into her mouth, swirling her tongue around it and sucking gently.

“Oh, fuck…”

“That feel good, baby?” Brooke comes off Vanessa’s nipple just enough to be able to whisper out the question, just enough to make sure that Vanessa can still feel her hot breath against its hardened, now-wet bud.

“Fuck yeah, it does.” Vanessa gasps.

“Mm, I don’t know.” Brooke replaces her mouth with her fingers, tracing and circling Vanessa’s nipple with deft, light movements. “I mean, you say that, but what does your pussy think, hm? Should we check?”

She trails her other hand down Vanessa’s body, smirking as she watches the younger girl shiver, before planting it between her legs, bringing two fingers to her slit.

“So wet for me!” Brooke gasps with an edge of mock surprise, one that makes Vanessa giggle a little. “Goodness, all this already? Poor baby, must’ve been so pent up all this time.”

“Tell me, princess,” she sobers quickly, her voice low as she nips at Vanessa’s neck, “you’ve been thinking about this a lot, haven’t you? Thinking about my hands on your cunt, rubbing you out and making you feel all nice? Your pussy certainly feels like you have.”

Vanessa nods, whimpering. “Yeah, Mami, fuck yeah. Been touching myself while I think about it, pretending my hands are yours.”

“Oh?” Brooke plays with Vanessa’s folds, gathering wetness onto her fingers before finally tracing her way up to Vanessa’s clit and beginning to circle it gently. “Well, what do you think, sweetheart, is it everything you expected? Hm?”

“No.” Vanessa laughs, bucking her hips in search of more pressure from Brooke’s fingers. “It’s even better.”

Brooke can’t help the pride that swells in her chest, spurring her on to go a little faster, press down a little more firmly. “Good, that’s what I like to hear.”

She continues to rub at Vanessa’s clit for a while, varying her pace and pressure, switching directions and occasionally breaking her circles to go up and down or side to side, but soon, they reach a plateau, Vanessa moaning and panting but getting no closer to the edge. It doesn’t worry Brooke too much; it’s perfectly normal to have difficulty reaching orgasm sometimes, especially on someone’s first time, when they don’t necessarily know what to direct you to do. Still, Vanessa not being able to come is definitely not how she wants her first time to end, so she switches it up, asks if she can put a finger or two inside her.

“Yeah, please.” Vanessa agrees.

Brooke is about to oblige, when she notices that something is… off. Vanessa’s eyes have taken on an air of worry, and the way she’s chewing on her lip is more nervous than aroused.

Shit.

“Are you okay? Do you need to stop?” Brooke gets up and takes her hands away, giving Vanessa room to breathe, but Vanessa just shakes her head, blushing crimson.

“I’m okay!” she waves her hands frantically, her eyes wide. “Really, I don’t need to stop. I was just… I wanted to say…”

“What is it?” Brooke moves close to Vanessa again, wrapping her into a hug and kissing her on the cheek. “It’s okay, Ness, you can tell me. I wanna make you feel good no matter what.”

“Well, I just… I really liked your dirty talk, is all. It really fucking turned me on. But I didn’t wanna knock off your concentration, ‘cause then…”

“‘Cause then what?” Brooke sucks in a breath, her confidence deflating in her chest just a little as she waits for the answer she knows is coming.

“I was afraid you’d get mad and stop.” Vanessa mutters, looking down at herself.

“Oh, baby, no.” Brooke pulls her closer still, squeezing her tightly. “I wouldn’t get mad at you over something like that. Hell, I’d be happy . I want you to tell me what makes you feel good, it’s a good thing when you feel safe to.”

“Besides,” she adds with a conspiratorial wink, “you know how much I love a chance to mouth off.”

Vanessa turns to look up at her, and thank God, all of the doubt has been wiped from her face, a wry, mischievous smile left in its place.

“Well come on then,” Vanessa cranes up to give Brooke a slow, teasing kiss, “get to it, Mami.”

“That’s more like it.” Brooke eases Vanessa down, once again settling on top of her like it’s the easiest thing in the world, the place she really belongs. “Now why don’t you open those pretty little legs for me, sweetheart? Let me see that cute little pussy, I wanna make sure it’s still nice and wet for me…”

It is, and so Brooke slowly slips a finger inside, still working on Vanessa’s clit with her thumb.

“ Awww. ” Brooke coos at Vanessa’s moans, soft and desperate as Brooke picks up her pace, starting to pump her fingers in and out of Vanessa’s cunt in search of her spot. “You like when I fuck you like this, baby? Look at you, you don’t even know what to do, you feel so good. Bet this is much better than using your own hand, huh? Isn’t this better?”

Vanessa is too far gone to do anything but nod, so Brooke fills in the words for her. “Your pussy is so pretty, baby. Just the cutest little thing, all wet and puffy for Mami. I just fucking love it. Maybe next I should taste it, huh? Eat you out so good you won’t be able to think about anything but my tongue for the next three days. I bet you taste so fucking good, you’re already so sweet, I could just…Oh? What’s this?”

Brooke stops in her tracks when Vanessa’s breath suddenly hitches, her whole body going rigid for a moment, and Brooke realizes that she’s found Vanessa’s spot.

Jackpot.

“Look at that!” She hums, hooking her fingers over Vanessa’s spot as she keeps pumping in and out of her entrance with more and more gusto every time Vanessa gasps or begs for more. “So responsive, aren’t we? Sensitive, too! Aw, poor baby, you must just be overwhelmed, aren’t you? Don’t even know how to deal with how good I’m making you feel. Guess that just means I’ll have to fuck you more and get you used to it, yeah? Get you nice and trained to take my fingers?”

“ Fuck , yes Mami, oh fuck, yes, oh God!” Vanessa’s voice is hoarse as she cries out, her knuckles blanching from gripping the sheets underneath her so hard. “ Just please, please don’t stop, please keep going, please keep fucking me—“

Brooke pounds her fingers into Vanessa with one final, deep thrust, and Vanessa’s words are cut short, swallowed into a silent scream. Brooke fucks her all the way through her orgasm, easing her down from it and slowly bringing her movements to a stop while Vanessa settles, still shaking despite finally relaxing again.

“You alright, Ness?” Brooke checks in as she slowly pulls out, coming around to lay next to Vanessa. She’s expecting Vanessa to nod, smile, maybe even say something about how good she felt, hopefully how she wants to do it again.

Instead, though, Vanessa looks Brooke dead in the eyes as she grabs the blonde’s hand and takes her fingers in her mouth, sucking gently.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Brooke chuckles, and Vanessa rolls her eyes, grinning a little despite herself.

“It sure is.” Vanessa finally lets Brooke’s fingers go, licking her lips. “Fuck, Mami, that was fucking amazing. Thank you so much.”

“No, you were amazing.” Brooke kisses Vanessa on top of her head, pulling her close again and cradling her in her arms. “I’m so glad I could give you a good first time, babe.”

“About that.” Vanessa perks up a little, her hand suddenly finding its way up Brooke’s body and settling on her waist. “Any chance you up for teachin’ me how to thank you?”

Brooke grins, the old fire in her belly starting up again as her mind fills with ideas for what could come next.

“Absolutely.” She kisses Vanessa’s cheek before sitting up, gesturing for Vanessa to crawl on top of her.

“What d’you think, baby, wanna learn how someone else’s pussy tastes?”

“That I do.” Vanessa grins as she settles over Brooke, looking her over like she’s something good to eat. “Why don’t we get started?”

[riseupimagines]

Avenging Angel- Pietro Maximoff x Reader

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Pietro Maximoff x Reader (Little angsty at the beginning, very fluffy at the end)

Summary: During the Battle of Sokovia things don’t happen the way Pietro expected them to and he ends up meeting Y/N, a girl whom he can’t quite tell is angel or human until he ends up in New York.

 Pietro was confused about getting shot. First of all because he never thought it would happen when he was faster than any bullet. Second of all because usually when you get shot you're supposed to die. He knew that when he jumped in front of that bullet he was supposed to die, but that's when it got confusing.

     He was running, desperation pumping in his blood as he raced the bullet. Desperate to stop it he ran in front of it. Then there was an explosion of pain and everything became blurry. He tried to smile and deliver his clever retort to Clint then Clint grabbed him and started yelling something to someone. It sounded like he might have been saying a name. 

     That's when the Angel showed up but she wasn't there to take him apparently. She was so beautiful and she knelt down next to him and touched him and he felt like light flooded his body, the pain faded and he began to feel sleepy. 

     Something came up behind the girl and he tried to warn her but nothing came out and it turns out it was unnecessary. She perked up as though she sensed it then yanked at a gold bracelet winding up her arm. It uncoiled into a whip, cracking with electricity which she expertly flicked over her shoulder. 

     She turned to Clint and Pietro was lifted into his arms and taken into the shelter of an empty house. She turned her attention back to him, her fingers gentle and insistent as she touched the place where his wound had once been. 

     Once she affirmed that he was healed she stood up, coiling her whip and dozens of tendrils of electricity gathered around her then she marched into battle, using the whip to direct bolts of electricity destroying waves of enemies in her path. His gaze was stuck to her through the window. She was so fierce and so beautiful that he wished his avenging angel was real. Then he felt the rapidly healing bullet wound and realized she probably was. 

***

    "Aw you sad to be losing your title new kid?" Peter asked, poking you in the side. You laughed, remembering all the jokes there were when you took the title from him. Peter had been the newest avenger until you showed up. And now there would be not one but two newbies coming. And you had no idea what to expect. 

     "I wasn't even thinking about that. I don't care that I'm not the new kid I just don't know what the new kids are like. I keep hearing conflicting information. I mean they were working for Hydra, they hate Tony, I thought that the ambushed the team, but then all of a sudden Tony sends a message that he's bringing them back to be part of the team. I just want to know what happened in between but you know how Tony is." You said. 

     You didn't want to acknowledge how you had already crossed those lines. 

     "Weren't you at the battle of sokovia? Healing people and shocking people and stuff?" Peter asked. 

    "You already know the answer Peter," you said, but you didn't mention that you had accidentally healed someone you'd thought was on the wrong side and you didn't know why. 

     "You know what. These twins volunteered for experiments they thought would help them save their country just like Steve did. There's no fault in that and Steve is a good person so they can be too. I don't care about all this anti-Sokovian crap that shield says. Now let's figure out how to bake apple pies to give our new teammates a proper welcome."

 *****

     Pietro thought that he couldn't be more nervous when he stepped off the plane. He was in a new country surrounded by new people. He gripped his sister's hand for support and she smiled at him encouragingly. 

     Clint smiled at him and told him "Welcome to your new home". He didn't think he'd have a home after his had been destroyed and the prospect made him nervous. 

    Then he stepped off the plane, him and his sister standing awkwardly amongst the other avengers being greeted warmly by their families. No one was there to greet them-or so he thought, until a boy and a girl broke through the crowd, coming towards them with a pie and open arms. 

    His nerves exploded alongside his shock as he recognized her. The girl. It was his avenging angel, the girl he healed him. She was real and she was here and she had come when no one else had and she didn't even know him yet. 

     "Hi! I'm Y/N and this is my friend Peter. Welcome to the Avengers and welcome to the US," she said with a bright smile. 

     Pietro felt his heart race as that warm smile was turned towards him. 

     Peter shook Pietro's hand and hugged his sister.

    "Let's show you to your rooms so that we can sit down and eat this super American apple pie and get to know you!" Peter said. 

     The twins smiled and followed you and Peter up the elevator. 

****

     "Thank you for helping us feel at home" Wanda said as you helped them put their stuff in their rooms. She had starting cutting the pie with a small smile on her face. 

    "I was scared no one would be open to us because of the whole...Hydra and Ultrpn thing," she said. 

    "Nope! Y/N wanted to make sure that y'all knew that not everyone is like that. We both did. But it was her idea to bake the welcome pie as proof that we're cool with you guys." Peter said. 

    Wanda took a bite and smiled. "We're cool with you guys and with this delicious pie," she said. 

               Hours later, the four of you were laying on one the big bed in the spare room in Pietro and Wanda’s suite. Peter was scrolling through Netflix introducing the twins to different shows and series to watch. Your limbs were all tangled together in comfort and familiarity and you guys hadn’t even noticed how much time had passed until Tony burst into the room looking for Peter.

               “There you are kid! I was so worried. I couldn’t find you anywhere in the tower and I thought you went home so I called your Aunt but then you weren’t home and she got really mad and we were both worried. Glad you’re here,” Tony said.

               He waved at everyone else.

               “Hey new kids! Welcome to the Avengers!” Tony said. Pietro and Wanda smiled and waved at him. Peter slid off the bed.

               “I better go talk to my Aunt. See you guys later!” he said, leaving with Tony.

               You turned towards them and got up as well.

               “I didn’t realize how late it was. I think I’m gonna go too. I’ve got to get up early for training,” you said.

               “Let me walk you to your room!” Pietro said, jumping up eagerly.

               “Thanks, but it’s just through the tower. It’s pretty saf-“ you stopped when you saw Wanda giving you a look. Maybe there was more to Pietro’s request than just pure chivalry.

               You took Pietro’s outstretched arm and let him walk with you.

               “I never got the chance to thank you.” He said.

               “Pietro, I just do my job. You don’t have to thank me,” you replied.

               “Yes I do. In Sokovia, you didn’t know whether or not I was on your side, but you saved my life anyways. I’ve heard the news, I’ve heard what a lot of people here in America think about Sokovians and what they think about us, but you went to great lengths to make me feel at home so I want to thank you for that too.”

               At this point you couldn’t keep yourself from hugging him. You wrapped your arms around him, his scent flooding your nose and he held you back even tighter.

               Pietro smiled as he pulled away.

               “At first I was so in awe of you I thought you were an angel. Now, I’m glad that you’re real because I’m still in awe of you and I would really like to get closer to you,” he said.

               “I would like that as well,” you replied.

               “Can I take you out tomorrow?” he asked you. You smiled, heart flipping, at his handsome face looking shy for once.

               “Of course,” you replied.

               He smiled and hugged you before you went to your room. Then he jumped up and pumped his fist, happy and excited to see what hit would be like to have an avenging angel as a girlfriend.

  A/N: So my original idea for this was angst and I mostly write romantic angst, but this one came out kind of fluffy. I might turn this into a series or add more. Let me know if you want a part 2 or if you want me to turn this into a series (which may have a bit of drama and angst).

Please let me know what you think!

[fivefootab1tch]

allllllrighty~ here’s my tHING~<3 i recognize that i talk pretty fast (and i was also trying to be hushhush so i probably didn’t come out as clear as i wanted to) so i’m including a script under the cut~

Tagged by @momtaku, @laffitine, & @dirtylevi ~ ♡ //thank y'all smmmmm// Tagging @shuuhuu @madcapraccoon @matcha-castella @starry-raven​ & everyone else on here who needs an excuse to do it and wants to. i’ll share the love and peer pressure asdkjfnak

'Aight, so here's my stab at Mamataku's SnK Voice Meme 4.0! I wrote a script to try and keep myself on track, but... the fuck if I ever know how to play right, so here we go~

State your name and username. 『sal, fivefootab-i-tch』 Is there a story behind your user name that you’d like to share? 『it's from an o.g. fandom video called "More Sassy Levi (Ezekieru Outtakes)". this was way before i was more or less tumblr savvy and i've gone through variations of it before settling on this one to mimic Ezekieru's pronunciation of BITCH. i'd wanna have a completely hyphenless version of this url to make my presence easier for the tumblr system to SWALLOW, kkkk but it's taken. the version of it with a 1 instead of the i isn't though... so maybe i'll switch to that one, i dunno. what's a brand?』 Where are you from? 『i'm from the states, southern california, bordertown asscrack of the U.S. you might get that lazy, high as balls, surfer feel from my voice since i've been here all my life』 How long have you been a fan of the series? 『i'm about two years late from the anime release, and i only know this because i immediately started writing fanfiction after binging the series in summer 2015. so... coming on 4 years? damn.』 What is your favorite and least favorite Arc? 『my favorite arc is the uprising arc, a pretty popular opinion, for a lot of reasons: the sudden turn of events, levi's collarbones, levi as a kid, KENNY, the characters all having their own unique identity crisis as their morals are suddenly taking turns, historia reclaiming her identity... (which was something that hits a little too close to home for comfort, but what's a good series that doesn't rip your personal feelings to shreds?)』 『i'm not a big fan of the marley side of things, another pretty popular opinion. for me, suddenly switching to a new cast of characters and setting after so much was accomplished in the uprising arc and return to shiganshina felt like betrayal. i mean... they get to the basement, which was the whole ass goal of the entire series up to that point, then we suddenly screech to a halt to tell someone elses' story. i can understand it... theoretically? i guess? bbut the whole time i was still like "wait a minute, what happened with the main cast?" bits and pieces of it have grown on me since, but i still have a ways to go to invest myself. politically, i just realized... marley really grinds my gears. why did i have to realize this? i'm shook. i can't believe this. i'll process it later.』 Do you have a favorite moment in the story thus far? 『eren screaming "the world outside the walls is my birthright" for... reasons. historia reclaiming her identity for... reasons... i've found myself hyperinvested in this series for immensely personal reasons i hope to eventually see through in my own life. i wanna be free, too. i also liked the moment in the uprising arc when levi thanked armin for saving jean. it was rough, but something he needed to hear. also any moment levi praises people. it's really cute.』 If you could resurrect one dead character who would it be and why? 『kuchel, because not only does levi deserve his mother but i would've loved to see more of her and how she raised levi into the compassionate kind of guy he is now. that side of him survived the tough love kenny put him through, so she must've breathed hella life into her kid and that's something i'd love to have seen more of』 Who is your favorite character and why? 『levi, for a lot of obvious as well as not so obvious reasons.』 『obvious reasons: he's pretty fucking cute. his sass and one liners are hilarious. his sense of humor's a clusterfuck of bad shit jokes and dark takes the people around him don't understand half the time and that's pretty funny in itself. he's o.p. as hell but the way the story makes it not matter when it comes down to it (because the universe is just THAT fucked up) is really something. he's in a league of his own but the depth of his characterization and development shows that's only a small part of who he is. the story demands so much more of him and the ways he rises (and sometimes falls) to the occasion makes me really like him. he's showcased as Humanity's Strongest but he's still human and flawed as fuck.』 『not so obvious reasons: he says fuck gender roles. he's short and makes the trans guy side of me feel pretty good. that particular character trait isn't just a gag for me. he started from the bottom now he's here. he always sides with the powerless, the helpless. he (to his own personal moral code) uses the strength he has for good as opposed to using it to keep people below him, something he could very well do if he uncritically internalized everything kenny spoonfed him, and wanted to. he doesn't sit on a moral high horse. he's open minded and accepting of letting people decide things for themselves. he's humble. if he doesn't understand something, he'll look to other people and he does all that while remaining confident and assertive in his own abilities. he doesn't hold himself above doing the dirty work if he feels he's best suited to do it. he genuinely cares about people and does his best to talk them through their issues when they need it, even if he's clumsy while doing it. it's really inspirational and personally validating .』 Any OTPs? 『erejean hits me a certain way. they're everything "boys will be boys" is SUPPOSED to mean, and i still can't get over jean calling eren cool. they're just so funny and i love their dynamic. hange and petra hits too for a reason i don't really understand yet. i don't get super invested in pairings, but i do like seeing character dynamics being explored in different lights and stuff. **** i bonded with my partner over roleplaying an au ereri thread, so that pairing's pretty special too. i didn't ship it at first, but being open to it has led me to getting to know this amazing person, so... yeah.』 You are able to transport to the SnK Universe for a day. How do you spend it? 『helping out. i don't know what i'd be able to contribute, but i'd want to be doing something to make the lives of the main cast easier. they have it really hard, and so many times i wanted to be able to do something for them. so i write my original characters into fanfiction. on the other hand, if it's a world where i'm independent and free to live whatever life i wanna live, i'd wanna go absolutely apeshit first. see everything there is to see and live all the life there is to live. ****perform a strip tease at a scout party and have the officers stick bills into my boobs.**** THEN commit myself to some sort of social or military work for the scouting legion. ****be their comfort... if yaknoe what i mean. it's good honest work~♡****』 Eren Jaeger did nothing wrong or Eren Jaeger did everything wrong? 『eren jaeger is what eren jaeger does. i can't vouch for whether or not he's right or wrong because there's no way i can really put myself in the situation he's in. mass genocide is very wrong, without a doubt, but something tells me there's something else going on and his real intentions are more complicated. a pivotal point in the series for him was his tribunal, where levi played the role of the arrogant wank to save his life and beat his ass before the whole military court. i think there's something similar going on here. he could be playing a role too, but it still stands that i have no idea. i'm not so invested in condemning or glorifying him, because the things i enjoy about his character aren't really going to be influenced.』 What is your favorite song in the series? Feel free to sing an extract 『i love them all. hiroyuki sawano makes such amazing soundtracks and all the vocals are powerful and chilling as fuckall hell. some favorites i do have are red swan, Vogel im Käfig, Bauklötze, call your name, it's answer song call of silence, youseeBIGGIRL, the spanish version of so ist es immer. so uh... even though i'm not very good at it, i do really love singing, so... i'm gonna try and sing some for y'all. i know a lot more english, japanese, and spanish than i do german so... i'm sorry!』 ****『Like the scarlet night veiling the dark You can hide your fear Can lie, my dear Kono mama yume wo mite Chi darake no tsubasa Hirogete』**** 『Las sillas ya juntas están Charlamos toda la noche  Este lugar no esta nada mal  Y creo que nos llevamos bien ****Solo estamos nosotros  Siempre es nuestra luz  Cantando y bebiendo, puedes estar tu Bajo el cielo azul  Siempre estamos asi  Y largas son las noches aqui』 『Ist das der Zerstörer oder der Schöpfer?』**** 『one of these days, when i feel more bearable to listen to, i'll... try and do some full ass covers, if y'all would be down for that ♡』 Bonus: What would Erwin do? 『about... what? everything going down now? i dunno. all i can offer is a dream daddy reference. he's chilling in Margaritaville somewhere... 』 Say the following: Wall Maria, Jean Kirschstein, Reiner Braun, Ymir, Theo Magath, Onyankopon, Kiyomi Azumabito, Hajime Isayama, Shiganshina Trio, Shingeki no Kyojin, Shinzou wo Sasageyo

[byul-bit-arae]

Boyfriend Taeyong

“When I fall in love, it will be forever.  Or I’ll never fall in love. In a restless world like this is–   Love is ended before it’s begun. And too many moonlight kisses, Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun."

*Silently slides this across the table and leaves* I'll just leave this here.

.

.

Ok but

Ok ok ok 

*Grabs tissues, blankets, desserts* gotta get real ready for this now

*Pushes up virtual glasses bc I always forget to wear mine shh we don't talk about that* boyfriend taeyong you say?

Well I saY GTFO I DONT WANNA DIE OF TOO MUCH FEELS SIS

Ok jk come back ere I would die everyday for one (1) human being and that's Lee Taeyong

.. wait wat

Anyway

This kid dude is literally t h e best bf you could ever have like what ????

You see all those shitty posts/texts/ads about perfect boyfriends??? Yeah just like that

Or maybe better

Way better

Taeyong would love you with A L L OF HIS HEART 

He's basically a five-year-old who only sees you, and like, nothing else.

Except for chocolate but like, nothing else

Like before you guys start dating

And that would probably be a GOOD while bc this pure lil child doesn't even know what dating is (no I'm serious have you seen that article)

Srsly tho 

Not just that but he seems to me like the type to take relationships very seriously 

Like blind dates and one night stands wouldn't be his thing, he wouldn't fancy them and just, no

He probably believes in those fictional perfect love stories

And is well aware it might take time to find the right person and is okay with waiting his whole life for it

He just secretly hopes it's soon k

And then he meets u

And wow Lee Taeyong the quiet cold-ish dude who?

More like LEE TAEYONG THE CUTEST FLUSTERED AWKWARD BALL OF FLUFF

When he saw you the first time he could swear he got like star struck or something

He gets all flustered at everything you do and he doesn't know why

Like WHAT IS HAPPENING WHY AM I BEING LIKE THIS WHAT IS THIS 

BODY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

BRAIN WHAT IS THIS MESS

HEART STOP POUNDING LIKE CRAZY OKAY THANKS

Like you smile and he's a mess, you just sit there and he's a mess, you pout and he's a mess, you look at him and he's a M E S S ™

And he doesn't even know why bc he never felt like this towards someone

He'd probably meet you through one of the members

Yuta, your close friend, finally decided to introduce you to his 'brothers'

He calls them his brothers but then it took him like three years to introduce you guys bc he's one hell of an overprotective best friend, or mom, over you

"Hey guys I can't believe I'm doing this but this is my little cute precious best friend Y/N and no you can't talk to her"

"Um yuta pls calm down"

Anyways

So the first meeting goes on great I mean the guys are all super kind and funny 

And so you start meeting them more often!!

And Taeyong--

istg this kid--

Like he sees you, and some fictional chibi monster starts gnawing at his insides

#SaveLeeTaeyong2k18

Like you noticed how he's kind of quiet around you and stuff but then yuta reassured you saying he's just a bit introverted and it'd take him time to open up

Bc tbh you actually thought he didn't really fancy your presence?? Since he looked really quiet and basically expressionless? and you'd like catch him glaring holes into your head from the corner of your eye??

BUT GURL LITTLE DID YOU KNOW THAT HE IS JUST WAY TOO WHIPPED HE KEEPS STARING DROOLING AT YOU

IT'S JUST THAT HIS POKER FACE LOOKS A BIT INTIMIDATING

BUT HE'S REALLY ALL UNDER YOUR SPELL OK LIKE YOU'RE SOME FALLEN ANGEL OR IDK OK.

ANYWAYS.

So it'd take him some time to start being comfortable around you

Considering that he's an introvert; a whipped introvert to be exact

But eventually you guys will get friendlier

And that would make him know more stuff about you and wow he never thought he could like you even more but here we are ??

Also the way you take care of the dreamies just !!! Makes his heart go !!!!!!

You just find them really cute and feel the need to protect them from all evil

Also winwin, bc take notes, winwin invented cute 

And how you'd be especially close to mark 

And you'd be his fav noona too

Aw.

And how you're so so kind w the older guys too

And Taeyong just-- admires you so so much

Bc he loves his friends so dearly and the fact that you love them too and take care of his beloved ones makes him so happy, he just appreciates it a lot

And legit keeps staring at you from a distance with a sweet smile as you put a scarf over jisung before he goes out or you hand winwin a new book about Korean poetry that you bought for him

And then probably Johnny passes by and lightly smacks his head to wake him from his day dreams and whispers

"Dude stop that's so creepy"

Oh btw

Everyone in the dorm knows about his crush on you

E V E R Y O N E .

Probably even their pets

This child is so bad at not getting flustered at the mere thought of you someone protecc

And the guys tease him the whole time omg

Like even the younger ones

He swears to ground them like ten times a day but ends up forgetting bc he'd be so flustered

AND SO ONE DAY 

You probably get left in the dorm alone w him

Don't ask me how yuta agreed to that ok I might be the author but evEN IDK K BYE.

And so you start chatting

Probably while cleaning the mess made by another seventeen wild horses

And you both find it funny how at first you were so so distant and awkward

And now here you are casually picking up chenle's underwear from the floor and throwing it with the laundry

And you tell him how you thought he was unfriendly at first and he laughs it off

And he tells you how he watched how you treated his brothers before opening up to you

And you're like ooOooOOoH so that's why, I thought you were glaring @ me and you actually hated me

And ty would literally snap like ARE YOU KIDDING ME I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS DEEP IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE MY WHOLE LIFE---

And you're like wait what

And he's like wait what.

DING! NEW LEVEL OF SOFT UNLOCKED

HE WOULD BE LITERALLY FREAKING OUT AND NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY HIS BRAIN WOULD BE ALL LIKE UNKNOWN ERROR ABORT MISSION A B O R T MISSIO--

"Taeyong it's okay I like you too

It's actually really relieving since I thought you didn't feel the same so I was a bit gloomy"

And then he apologizes for the misunderstanding

And at that moment jeno barges in and he's like um sorry am I interrupting something

And before you say anything he's like oh shit I'm really interrupting something sorry BYEEEE

But then he opens the door again and he's like okay ONE last question hyung did you ask her out yet

And ty is like jeNO I SWEAR TO GOD

And then when jeno leaves bc he realizes he needs to run for his life or else he'll spend the night in the streets,

It's really awkward before you're like

"so uh.. how about we grab some coffee? Like a first date?"

And taeyong tries his best to muster up a good answer until the word "date" leaves your mouth and he's like 1010101010011101 error shutdown sorry.

Anyways so you go out to this cute coffee shop and that's your first awkward date full of tingling feels and chibi monsters gnawing on your insides.

You probably frequent that coffee shop a lot more often after that

Bc coffee shop dates w taeyong are just so adorable

And he's adorable

*mark silently dragging my crying whipped ass away*

Arcade dates are also your thing

Since he's a little bit too obsessed with games

He loves museums too so he'd bring you to a lot of them

Especially art museums

And you're like why should we go when I've got a whole piece of art in front of me

And he blushes and smiles

Late late night dates

Where you just walk around like fools at like three in the morning bc neither of you could sleep

And you probably grab some ice cream

Okay I'm making it sound like you'd be such an outdoor couple when you're not lmao

Okay not rlly

But my point is that you'd prefer cuddling in bed all day over any of those

Not only in bed but really everywhere

Y'all are just so cute and soft

Skinship skinship and a lot of skinship

He can't stay like ten seconds without touching you

idk like he has to grab your hand or hug you or have you hug him or juST BE IN PHYSICAL CONTACT W YOU OK LIKE HE MIGHT DIE OR SMG OK

But there are some small cute things you notice he likes

Like back hugging you when you're doing literally anything

Like you'd be cooking or washing the dishes or freaking wiping away the dust or just looking out the window and he'd waddle to you as if his skinship'o'meter is hitting a critically low level and he needs urgent recharge

He'd then slowly wrap his arms around you so so gently yet you still feel like his whole world depends on that hug

90% of the time he'd rest his chin on your shoulder

Okay not his chin but technically press his lips against your shoulder, crook of neck, neck, collarbones, hairline, the skin behind your ear, your jawline, basically anywhere he could reach

Like they aren't even kisses his lips would just ever so softly ghost around your skin and his nose would nuzzle your crooks

You're dead if you're ticklish

He also likes intertwining fingers

Like not even all fingers but two or three

He'd love link your index and ring fingers as you walk, lay around and whenever he holds your hand which is often

He love love loves when you play with his hair

Kittyong anybody?

Esp as you praise him

Or you cup his cheeks and then your hands slowly creep to his ears and then to play with the hair on the back of his head

Or simply when you're laying down as he rests on your chest

He looooves doing that

Like he doesn't even care if you're boobless he just really loves that 

Sometimes while having really deep conversations

Or when you're cheering him up if he's ever having a rough time

Like you'd gently caress his hair as you tell him all the things you love about him

If he's really really down he'd silently cry and hugs you tighter 

And then end up falling asleep to your soft soothing voice and touch

He's usually very cheerful and hyper though

You'd love spending time in the kitchen tgt

Flour fights aren't that common bc he's usually tidy but they do happen so watch out

He loves cooking for you

And LOVES when you cook for him

Like even the simplest things

You don't really have to be that good at cooking like you'd crack him an egg and he'd be as happy as if you've served him a full course meal

He'd teach you how to cook but wouldn't let you do it like tf

He says to use those skills when he's not home

Although whenever he's leaving for some time he'd stack up the fridge w food that would probably last a year

Very random kisses

Like very random listen to me

You'd be like watching TV or something and he'd suddenly turn and peck your cheek then go back to watching

And you're like ?????

And he's like nothing I just wanted to do it

And you're like ????? uwu

Man I could talk about him all day but no one can afford this 

This is already way longer than all my other boyfriend posts wsdswdsdwdswdws

He just wants to be loved okay give my boi some sarang

Just kidding give him all the sarang lmao

.

.

No really I'm serious.

[seouledbysisi]

New World

Chapter 1

Gianna & Mia

Mia ran into Gianna's room jumping up and down on the bed! “Girl you'll never believe what I just read online!” She yelled into Gianna's ear.

Gianna's eyes widened as she covered her ears. “Calm down! Have you been eating candy?”

Mia rolled her eyes. “No, I'm just super excited!” She squealed.

“Obviously! What is it?” Gianna was a bit annoyed. Not because of Mia but more so because of her boss.

Mia could sense that Gianna's attitude was off. She plopped down on the bed. “What's wrong GiGi?”

“My stupid boss is what's wrong.” She whined. “I'll be so glad when I finally graduate and can get away from that hell hole.”

Mia raised a eyebrow. “What happened?”

“I've closed every night since I started working there. I work my ass off pulling double shifts and everything. I ask for one night off so I can study for my finals and he said I have to find someone to cover my shift or else I have to work.” Gianna had been so stressed out lately. It was her last semester in school and it seemed like graduation couldn't get there fast enough.

A light bulb went off in Mia's head. “I have an idea!”

Gianna looked up at her with confused eyes.

“What's Adam's number?” She asked.

Gianna shook her head. “He won't cover for me. He barely likes working his own shifts.” She sighed.

Mia rolled her eyes and snatched Gianna's phone out of her hand. She dialed his number and waited for an answer.

“Hello?” He answered.

Mia exhaled deeply. “Hey this is Mia . I need a huge favor from you.”

He chuckled a bit. “What is it?”

“My best friend has a huge exam next week and if she doesn't pass she won't graduate so I need you to cover her shift tomorrow night if you don't mind.”

He held the phone for a second before answering. “What's in it for me?”

Mia rolled her eyes. “You get recognized as a good person?”

“I'm going to need something more than that!”

“Well what do you want?” She asked. She was becoming annoyed.

He began to laugh a little. “A date. . .with you!”

“Umm no! Something else.”

“Well I guess your friend might not be graduating as soon as she thought. Goodnight!”

Mia sighed loudly. “Wait!” She groaned. “I'll do it.”

“I figured you'd change your mind, pick you up Saturday night around 7.” he said quickly and hung up.

Mia almost threw up listening to his last words. He wasn't ugly but he was annoying and didn't show much respect for women. “You owe me big time!”

“He agreed?” Gianna's eyes widened.

“Only because I have to go on a date with him.” Mia had tears in her eyes.

Gianna hugged her tightly. “What would I ever do without you?”

“Nothing!” Mia smiled.

“I guess we'll both be graduating!” Gianna smiled big.

Mia nodded. She had almost forgot about the news she had to tell Gianna about. “So about what I read!”

”Oh yeah, share the excitement!”

“So, you know how NCT 127 are coming to the States?” Mia started.

Gianna nodded. “Yeah don't remind me. I can't believe the tickets got sold out THAT fast!”

“But that's just it, Gianna! We have another chance to maybe go.”

Gianna cocked her head to the right. “What are you talking about?”

“They're having a contest. It's a writing contest where you have to tell about why NCT is inspiring to you and what they mean to you. They're picking one winner from each state that they're having a concert in.” Mia exclaimed.

Gianna groaned. “So you're going to be that fan girl?”

Mia shrugged. “If it gets me a chance to see Johnny and all of the others then hell yes!”

Gianna giggled. “Well you go girl!” She began to walk away to the kitchen. Mia followed.

“You're the best writer I know, Gianna. I need your skills.”

“So you want me to write this essay for you? No way, you know I'm not into doing all that crazy fan girl stuff. Plus there's no way we'd win.”

Mia poked her bottom lip out. “Pretty please?” She said in a cute voice.

“That cute baby voice is not working on me this time.” Gianna shrugged and sat on the couch.

Mia rolled her eyes. “You have to do this for me! I'm going on a date with Adam for you. You realize how atrocious he is, right?”

“Yeah he is pretty horrible and I do appreciate you but I can't do it. I don't have time.” Gianna sighed.

Mia crossed her arms and pouted. “Did I forget to mention that if we win we get to spend a few hours with them before the concert?”

Gianna turned towards her quickly. “It's not working, Alonna.”

“Okay, I guess you don't wanna spend a once in a life time day with THE Lee Taeyong.” Mia hummed and walked towards her bedroom slowly.

Gianna was being pulled into two directions. She loved Taeyong with a passion, she was probably secretly his biggest fan but school was super important and with her hectic schedule there was no way she'd be able to write something up to par. She didn't want to be the reason that her best friend missed this once in a lifetime chance.

“. . .Ice across my wrist now I can barely see the time. I just made a million and I'm still not satisfied.” Mia walked back out of her room singing.

Gianna squeezed her eyes shut. She groaned. “Cause I need the bag on the regular, I spend the bag on the regular.” She finished singing the line for Mia and did the “regular, huh” dance.

“Don't you wanna hear them sing that live?” Mia asked as she grabbed Gianna's hands.

“When does it have to be submitted?” She asked.

Mia stretched her lips a bit. “Tomorrow by noon but I'll help you study!”

Gianna shook her head. “Oh no!”

“Lee Taeyong! Nakamoto Yuta! Johnny? Doyoung? Please!” Mia was giving her best at persuasion.

Gianna exhaled loudly. “C'mon girl! You better be glad that I'm in love with Taeyong otherwise I wouldn't do this. Plus, hearing Taeil hit his high notes is going to be life-saving.”

Mia grabbed her laptop and they began writing.

“Wait! So how many winners can their be?” Gianna asked quickly.

“So whoever wins will get two up front tickets.” Mia explained.

“But does that mean we both spend the day with them or just one of us?” Gianna wanted to be sure she was going to meet Mr. Lee too.

Mia giggled. “Yes, GiGi! You will meet Lee Taeyong in the flesh.”

Gianna's grin got bigger. “This better be the best essay I've ever written then. So when you think of NCT what's the first word that comes into your mind?”

Mia thought for a moment. “Edge! They have so much flare, they're so different from other groups. Not just K-pop though, just music groups in general. They're not afraid to be different and weird. They have their own style but it works in all the right ways. What about you?”

“Innovation. They incorporate all of these new styles and old styles and make it work. They don't stick to mainstream types of music, they give music life and a new meaning. It's creative to be honest. Kind of like a breath of fresh air.”

Mia smiled big as she was in awe. “The best air!” Mia blushed. “Write all of that. You have a way with words. You're going to be the best journalist ever when we graduate.”

“And you're going to be the best fashionista/stylist ever!” Gianna smiled as she continued to write. “How does their music make you feel?”

“Invincible! Like I could do anything in the world that I set my mind to.” Mia explained and she wasn't lying. NCT's lyrics were deep and they touched her.

Gianna smiled. She put the finishing touches to the essay which ended up being a lot longer than she anticipated but it was definitely a work of art. “You know even if we don't win these tickets, at least they will have some type of confirmation of how great they truly are.”

Mia read over the essay. “If we don't win, something's totally wrong with them.” She giggled and submitted the essay.

“When do they announce the winner?” Gianna asked.

Mia read over the rules and information for the contest. “Saturday. It'll be night here when they announce it but I guess day for them.”

“The concert is in what, 3 weeks?” Gianna asked as she thought of outfit choices. She wanted to scream and jump but that just wasn't in her nature.She was getting a little ahead of herself. They hadn’t even won yet but she liked to be prepared.

“Yeah, and to our luck it's on the weekend.” Mia was so ecstatic.

Gianna sighed. “You might have to go on another date with Adam so he can cover another shift for me.” She laughed.

Mia acted as if she was going to throw up. “This is a one time thing. You're just gonna have to quit your job, ma'am if they won't let you off.”

“I can't afford to quit my job!” Gianna giggled.

Mia raised an eyebrow. “You really don't have to stay at that crappy restaurant. Your mom pays all the bills for this condo. She's willing to give you money, Gi.”

“I don't want her to have to give me money too. She already does enough!” Gianna sighed. She was so grateful for her mom but she didn't want her mom to do any more than she had to.

“The coffee shop is hiring on campus. We don't make as much as you but at least you'd get treated better. Our manager is really nice. Plus we close at 7 so you'd be out of there by 8. I could put in a good word for you.”

Gianna squinted a bit as she looked out at the balcony. “I thought y'all weren't hiring?”

Mia looked confused. “Oh you're talking about when I told Aaliyah that we weren't accepting applications?”

Gianna nodded.

Mia looked away. “I may have lied.”

Gianna slapped her arm. “Why would you do that?”

“Because she's hella annoying! I deal with her enough in our classes, I wasn't about to torture myself anymore.”

Gianna laughed. “Well put me in a good word cause I'm sick of Javier!”

“I can call Marty right now if you want. We need the help because two people are leaving soon.” Mia grabbed her phone and dialed him.

The phone rang and rang. Mia was starting to think he wasn't going to answer. “Talk to me!” he picked up cooly.

“Hey Marty are you busy?” She could hear a lot of rattling in his background.

“Uh no. What's up?”

“So I know we will be having two positions opening, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Have you already filled them?”

“I have a guy lined up. I need someone else too though. You know anyone?”

“My best friend needs another job like asap!” Mia explained.

Gianna simply sat there listening to their conversation.

“You recommend her? Is he a good worker?”

“The best! She's very reliable.”

He became silent for a moment. “She wouldn't be able to start until the week after next week. Is that okay?”

Mia looked at Gianna for confirmation. Gianna nodded eagerly. “That's great! Yes. She can do that.”

“Okay well she can have the job, just bring her to the shop tomorrow so she can fill out some papers. Goodnight, Mia.” He said and hung up.

Gianna pulled Mia into a hug quickly. “Thank you so much for doing that. You're the best for real.”

“It's no more than you'd do for me. You let me live here rent free, I got your back no matter what!” Mia told her.

NCT 127

They were all sitting around the living room in their dorm. “So we all have to decide on the winning essays, right?” Johnny asked.

“Yeah. The managers are giving us free reign with this since it was our idea. We have to pick the best of the best; the essays that speak to our souls the most.” Taeyong explained.

Mark's eyes widened. “Well that got deep way too fast.” He laughed.

Taeyong's eyes snapped to him. “It's supposed to be deep. We have so many fans who didn't get a chance to get tickets for whatever reason, so we need to choose NCTzens who deserve it the most.”

Mark cut his laughter off quickly and nodded.

“We have to choose Vegas' and LA winners first since those are our first stops.” Johnny added.

Doyoung nodded. “We have to make a decision by Saturday. Have any been submitted yet?”

Taeyong looked up the submissions and seen so many. There were a few whose titles stood out to him. He kept scrolling until he came across one of the newest submissions. “A New World.” Taeyong said out loud.

All the guys looked confused. “What you got on your mind,boss?” Haechan asked.

The guys gathered around the computer to see what had Taeyong looking strange. “NCT as a whole brings new concept to music and gives fans, all around the world, the courage to believe in a better and new world that we can all strive in.” Johnny read aloud.

All of the guys faces were shocked in astonishment. “Woah!” They all said collectively as they read the remainder of the essay.

Jaehyun smiled. “I like that! I don't even need to hear anything else.”

Taeyong chuckled. “Let's not get too ahead of ourselves. We have two more days to receive essays, then and ONLY then will we make a decision.”

“You gotta admit that it will be hard to top that. It gave me chills knowing that someone believes in our mission that much.” Johnny stated.

“Yeah it was great and all but everyone deserves a chance. See y'all in the morning.” Taeyong answered and walked to his, Johnny and Jaehyun's room.

Jungwoo gave Johnny a small smile and rubbed his shoulder. “I know everyone felt what you felt but you know leader-nim is going to do what's best. You never know, something better may come along and maybe not. If that essay is meant to win, it will.”  

Johnny shrugged. “I'm not stressing over it, I just think whoever wrote that has a really good heart and a nice set of writing skills.” He said with laughter.

[whumperwriter]

Whumptober Day 4 - "No, stop!"

Fandom - Chicago PD

Whumpee - Jay Halstead

A/N -  I know I just did a Chicago PD one...but in honor of the episode that killed me, 6x02, I felt the need to address a couple of parts that I felt I could...improve. but I did love the episode and just thinking about it is giving me some major (painful?) Whumperflies. And y'all can bet your ass that this is another one I want to expand on. Golly I loved it so much. So, so, much. (keep in mind, these are essentially just ideas to be expanded on, and super unedited, but if you like one, feel free to let me know which!)

You can support me by buying me a ko-fi here, and/or follow my blog that's used for writing primarily here!

He blames the tow truck. He's not sure where it came from, or even how it was down here but the moment he lost sight of the man he was chasing, he realized that he might be in deep shit. Jay runs around the tow truck and watches as the man runs around the corner of the room, disappearing once again. 

Drawing his gun, he slows his pace slightly when the first crack of the gun goes off. It doesn't hit him, but it's in that brief second that he is glad that he is wearing a vest, that a bullet does. 

He feels it enter his chest, and it immediately knocks the breath out of him, but he does what he's trained to do and shoots back. He fires a couple of rounds, and he can see them both hit his target before a third bullet slices through his abdomen. 

His ankles buckle as he falls to the ground. Jay lands on his side and tries to roll with it but he can't. Pain is eating at him alive and there's black creeping at the edges. He squeezes his eyes shut and his hand, almost as if by its own accord, brushes against the liquid that's soaking into his shirt already. He pulls his hand back, carefully, to examine the contents and is unsurprised when it's blood. 

Its around now that he realizes that he's in trouble. The bloody hand falls back to his radio, and he's calling for backup. He forgets to call for help for himself, he realizes only when it's too late. He hears the way the man behind him is crying for help, wanting to speak to his father. Or his brother. Jay can't tell, and hates the sympathy he begins to feel for the man who killed his own father. But there's a part of him, the untainted parts, that tell him to go help him. 

So Jay tries. He's dragging himself and it hurts, and he can't breathe, and he's starting to lose feeling in his extremities. But he drags himself to the man's side. He's barely able to lift his arm to check on the, now silent, murderer, and his hands are shaking so much that he can't feel a pulse. He can't feel much of anything except for the fire that burns across his upper body with a vengeance. 

With a sort of faded resignation, Jay rolls, and groans as his back hits the pavement of the road, his left half of his body remaining on the curve while the right half lies on the street. He brings a shaky hand to wipe at his face and coughs. He can taste metal in his mouth and winces as he realizes that its blood, and he's gonna choke on it if he doesn't get help because he can't move. He can hardly breathe, Jay realizes with a panic. 

If he could've let out a sigh of relief, he would have, as he hears the running footsteps, Hailey's voice wafting through the air to greet his ears with a soft kiss. It's the best thing he's heard all day, he realizes. Now she's yelling, something about an officer down and Jay wants to shudder at the fact that she's talking about him. That he's the officer down.

She kneels by his side and is immediately pulling and yanking at his vest, her hands look as shaky as his own. Adam’s yelling from beside him asking about how bad it is. It feels pretty bad from where Jay's laying.

"The bullet went through the vest, he's bleeding out, we need an ambo!" She sounds like she's panicking but Jay knows better. Hailey doesn't panic. She's got the coolest head in the entire precinct. She's the coolest nut. The most frozen-

"Jay, open your damn eyes!" Hailey yells, shaking his chin with a blood-soaked hand, apparently trying to rouse him. Adams yelling from beside him again, telling someone else off in the distance that they need to get an ambo in here, stat, but Jay can't pay attention. He can feel his eyes rolling around in his head, and he wants to cough, but to cough, you have to start with a breath, and to be able to take a breath? One has to be able to breathe.

"No, stop! Jay!" Her words pierce his skull as he realizes he's slipping away. So he grabs at her hand that's sitting, pressing against a wound he can't even feel, and he looks her in the eyes. 

"'m s-ry. I co-n't stop -"

"Jay, no, stop. You're gonna be ok, you're-"

"myself." He can feel blood dripping down his cheek as a cough erupts and he hates that Hailey's crying above him, and she looks scared, but he can't do anything...

He can't do...

He can't.

@whumptober2018

[unusualvisionsblog]

Sky full of star: Chapter 1

My first original series/ book! Ah I'm super nervous and excited. Its pretty cringy I guess but I hope y'all don't hate it yeet.

Summary : Kathleen Hunter, 23 and a redhead is a daring and an ambitious flight attendant who wants to travel the world. But when her jobs brings her to a new love and brings back an old flame, what will Kathleen do?

Warnings : none actually, cringe probably, swearing later.

There might be a few spelling mistake since I posted this at like 1am yeet

Word count : 1615 or something

So here we go oof

CHAPTER 1

Never had she hated her life more. Her alarm didn't ring and she had already stubbed her toe on that darn bedside table. Ouch. She really couldn't  afford to be late today.Sighing deeply, she checked the time. Today was really important for her,  because if this flight went well, her career would really take a jump. Being a flight attendant was definitely not an easy job. She had to deal with rude passengers and crying babies. She looked at herself in the mirror, biting her lips in criticism. Her strawberry blonde hair were a mess but there wasn't enough time to do a decent hair style.

Kathleen would never believe anyone whenever they complimented her on her looks, because having been called plain and boring by her mother for 23 years, it was hard to believe anything else really.

But when someone else would see her for the first time, they would notice how the  loose tendrils of her silky hair would cover her face and how her alluring blue eyes would peek out and how they would shine brilliantly when her pink lips uplifted to form a sweet smile.

Putting her hair in a quick messy bun, she got dressed and grabbed a coffee before leaving. She quickly reached the bus stop and waited, tapping her feet constantly and after every two sips, checking the time. Lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice a group of suave business men and women heading towards her  when suddenly "BAM!". A young man talking to his colleague bumped into the frowning woman. At this sudden motion, Kathleen stepped back, dropping the hot coffee on her uniform. Now this really was the cherry on top of an already bad day.  She crossed her arms, glaring right into the brown eyes of the fair young man, "Excuse me, are you actually freaking blind? You've completely ruined my day AND my coffee!"

Taken aback, "I apologise for the coffee but this is just as much your fault as it is mine" the man huffed, his brows creased. This only infuriated Kathleen more and she was more than ready to retort back,"Hah! You- " when the woman next to the man interjected,"David we really don't have time to argue with random people on the street, you're getting late!" and with that they all moved forward with David looking over his shoulder and scowling at the woman one last time, muttering, "God what a horrible start to the day."

Having finally reached the airport, Kathleen quickly changed into her second set of uniform and did her make up before getting on board the flight.

As tiring and exhausting this job was, Kathleen really did love being a flight attendant as it was the only way she got to travel the world. She'd been to France, Germany, Italy, India.. the list goes on and on.

She had met people who had impacted her life throughout her journey and she was excited for her next one and if this went well, there was going to be a sweet sweet salary bump for her.

Having helped all the passengers in the economy section feel  comfortable, she moved to the business class where she finally got a chance to talk to her  best friend, Tracy Sawyer. Tracy smiled brightly at her as she walked towards her, "Omg, are you excited?! This is your first flight with you in charge!! You are so going to kill it!"

"Wow you have way more confidence in me then I have  for myself." She chuckled in reply.

"Okay first shut up, you're definitely getting that raise and second you have got to see that hottie in first class, single and wohoo he is a snack!"

Raising her eyebrow, "Don't you have like a boyfriend Tracy?" She questioned.

"God you are so dense, Kathy he isn't even my type, I was talking about you! You've been single for like 8 years!"

"3 not 8!"

Tracy rolled her eyes in reply, "Whatever you're serving first class today! See you around love! First seat on the right" She said winking at Kathy and moving to the next section.

She would be lying if she said she wasn't  even a least bit interested in checking out this so called handsome single man. She took a deep breath and walked right into the first class section and with a bright smile turned towards the right side, " Good morning and thank you for choosing Blue sky airlines, how can I help you today?" She lifted her eyes and that's when her smile faltered. They were the same brown eyes that had glared right back at her in the morning.

"You- it was you at the bus stop wasn't it? Screaming at me?"squinting at her with his lips pressed

" I-i act-" she stuttered.

" Do you know that I am the CEO  of  Timetrend?"

Wide eyed, her breathing became rapid but she could not speak.

"This is an interesting turn of events" with a smirk on his face.

At this point Kathleen composed herself, "Sir allow me to apologise to you profusely, I truly am very sorry." But let's be honest, they both knew she wasn't.

"Well I guess you can make it up to me by getting a glass of champagne or is that too much for you?"

Biting her lips to prevent her from making the situation worse, She replied, "right away sir."

She cursed Tracy severely in her head. And to make matters even more abominable, there was only one first class passenger. And he was a pain in the ass.

He couldn't believe his bad luck, imagine having the same clumsy woman as your flight attendant. At least here he had an advantage, he could order her around completely although he wasn't actually that cruel. He was having a hard time  trying to control his laughter looking at the flustered girl who was so composed before.

As much as he tried to distract himself, he was extremely bored, he had finished all of his work so that he could spend time with his girlfriend on the flight. Well Ex girlfriend now since she broke up with him yesterday. He was upset sure but not heartbroken. He didn't really love her and she probably didn't either although she tried to but the effort was only one sided. He didn't have time for relationships. He was a busy man after all.

He tried to sleep but he just couldn't. He heard the sound of her heels and guessed that she was making the rounds again. He sat up straight and decided to order another glass of champagne, this was a long flight after all.

" Do you need anything sir? " She questioned, still afraid to meet his eyes.

"Yes, I'm bored."

At this her eyes shot up, with eyebrows raised but she quickly hid it with her normal smile

" Well we have a wide range of movies, if you'd like. We also have mag-"

"No."

"I'm sorry?"

"I mean no, I want to have a conversation. Tell me something about yourself."

" Are you drunk sir?"

" No of course not! Who gets drunk after two glasses of champagne?"

" Well okay, what would you like to know?"

"For starters, tell me your name."

And somehow, to both of their surprise, they were able to keep an interesting flow of conversation going without any awkward silences or anything of the sort and soon they were laughing like old friends. Well actually Kathleen was laughing, the closest David came to laughing was giving her a genuine smile. Soon Kathleen returned to the other attendants for the rounds, returning soon enough to first class, with smirking glances from Tracy.

"Kathleen, might I ask you why did you choose to become an air hostess? You don't have to answer." He added cautiously

"One  call me Kathy, I actually do not like Kathleen at all.

He chuckled slightly taking a sip of his drink

"Two it's not really complicated. I mean I didn't always want to be an attendant. I wanted to  be a pilot. But you know financial issues."

"Oh. Yeah I get that"

There was a comfortable silence between the two before Kathy had to leave again.

"We'll be landing soon, so I'll take your leave." She smiled at him warmly. There was something so innocent about her smile that he couldn't help but smile back.

She got up to get back to her seat with Tracy when a sudden turbulence caused her to stumble forward but before she could hit the floor,a pair of strong hands grabbed her waist and prevented any accident that would end up with her having a huge boil on her head. She felt her heart pound as she looked into his brown eyes slightly converted by his brown hair for what seemed like 10 minutes but was actually 5 seconds? She was being ridiculous! She shook her head and smiled at him,thanking him and went on her way avoiding eye contact.

-----

He really couldn't help but smile at her and he was pretty astonished about himself. They were getting ready to descend, when there was a slight tremor and he realized that it had completely shooken Kathy and she would probably fall down but before that he grabbed her firmly by the waist and immediately stood up. He didn't know what happened but something in her blue eyes pulled him towards her. He saw a strand of her glossy red hair on her soft pink cheeks, he was having  a hard time fighting the urge to tuck it behind her ear. He didn't even register the fact that he was staring at her before she blushed and pulled away. For the first time in his life, he felt flustered at the sight of her. He probably was just tired. Hopefully.

#love #angst #romance #chicklit #original #fiction