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russellsppttemplates · 1 year

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Let me be there for you (Lance Stroll)

Your way of dealing with things makes Lance question if you are both on the same page

Note: english is not my first language. I never thought that a small blurb could lead to this, but I'm happy it did. Thank you to the people who sent in their ideas, and coincidence or not, some of them I already had in mind (some were tweaked a little), and they also go perfect with something I want to do for Lance and reader when they want to start a family, so hopefully soon I'll get to that!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions reader's period, a couple fight, hospital/exams, female fertility problems

"Would you be able to come here by the end of the week?", the lady asked over the phone, "this week is going to be difficult, I need to push a few things around to see if I can make it. Can I call you back once I know for sure?", you suggested back to her, "thank you for understanding. Have a nice day", you ended the call, sighing as you looked at the calendar app open on your laptop and, quite frankly, not seeing many available options for the appointment you were trying to book.

You were in the middle of changing things around when your boyfriend's text interrupted your chain of emails questioning if your schedule could be altered.

"Shoot, forgot that was today!", you cursed yourself for having forgotten that you had planned to have dinner with Lance at your place, now grateful that he had won the battle of who should be in charge of the food despite your previous insistence. The text could read that he was leaving his place to go to the take out place and then he would make his way to yours, which meant you had about forty fives minutes until he arrived.

Deciding that you'd leave the problem for tomorrow, at least until you knew for sure if you had the time, you switched off your laptop and moved to the living room, tidying it up a little and arranging the table so it was set when Lance arrived.

A knock on the door was enough to pull you out of your focus on the show playing on the TV, getting up to open it and allowing him inside, you waited until the paper bag was set on the table so you could cup his cheek and kiss his lips, "hello, sweetheart", he hummed as he separated your lips.

"Hi, handsome, how was your day?", you asked, helping him spread the food containers, "it was good, we did some testing on the latest developments of the car and some promotional videos, too. And yours? Is this a new table?", he said, "it was good. Oh yes, I got this on the weekend, the guys delivered it on Friday and I spent the whole weekend building it", you smiled, seeing Lance look at the plaster on your arm, "I had some trouble with one of the legs, but I got it under control", you explained, seeing his concerned expression, "you could've called for help", he noted, holding your hand as you sat down, "no need, I was able to complete it myself. Hopefully this doesn't fall all over though", you giggled, trying to soften his expression with a kiss on his cheek.

"Do you want to go to this weekend's race?", he asked, biting the food he gathered on the fork, "I don't think I can go, I'd love to, but I was only able to schedule an appointment for the weekend, and even that I'm trying to see if that works, but I'd love to go", you pouted, "I'll be watching from home, I promise", you cupped his cheek, rubbing the stubbly skin and smiling, "this one usually broadcasts early in the morning, like six or something", he nudged you, "then I'll just have to get a big mug of coffee to get me through".

"You said you had an appointment?", Lance recuperated the subject when you had finished tidying the plates, now sitting on the sofa enjoying eachother's presence, "yes, I have to go to a check-up, nothing major", you said, kissing his clothed chest.

Since Lance was leaving for Japan the next morning, you opted out to have dinner that his place, despite your insistence that you could do it at yours so he didn't have to worry about having a tidy kitchen and house, "I've told you I don't mind having to clean up, and I always love having you here, especially when you wear my clothes", he reasoned with you, feeling a bit cocky about how you had gone to his wardrobe and grab one of his hoodies because you were cold.

"Did you book the appointment?", Lance asked once you sat on his big sofa while he flickered through the channels, hoping to find something good for you to watch.

"I did, Friday afternoon they're going to do some exams", you subtly mentioned, "exams? I thought it was just a routine check-up", he wondered, now concerned about the situation. Truth was, he sometimes felt like he didn't get everything out of you. Like you'd tell him the basics of your life, almost in a way of not having him just about enough involved in it, but far way enough as well.

"They're doing some studies, but I don't think it's that big of a deal, it's about my period. Probably some bloodwork, they talked about a scan, but only if they think it's necessary", you mumbled, feeling Lance change his position so he could face you.

"Are you sure? I'd like to help in any way I can", he forwarded, "you know I want to be here as much as I can for you, you don't have to go through this alone, or do this alone, I'm here for you", he stated.

"I know, love. But I'm fine", you mumbled, "no need to worry, yeah?".

And it was like it broke then and there. "But I do worry, you know? I want to know things and do things for you, and you barely let me", he began and you allowed for him to continue, sensing that you needed to think about what to say, "it's like you don't want me to be involved in your life, like you don't want to rely on me, you don't want my help. And I'm all in Y/N", he said, rhe frustration clear in his face.

Being on your own for a while did that to a person. You'd grown protective of yourself and of your values, so you burst a lot bigger than intended, "what do you mean? I tell you about my things, and I have you in my life. And I love that, but I don't think I'm pushing you away", you reasoned back.

"You don't?", Lance snapped loudly enough to be heard but calm enough to still allow you to feel safe, "a while ago, you were busy juggling family matters and work matters, and I only found out after the problems were solved. Surely, I couldn't help with the problems themselves, but I could've helped you deal with their burden. Not even to build a table, Y/N. I'm sure I could've helped with that, and this appointment? I'm only finding out you're being examined because I asked. If you don't want me to know things, maybe we need to sort things", he gulped. He himself didn't like that option. He saw a future with you, so suggesting it came out of his mouth as quickly as he regretted saying it.

"I think you're being unreasonable, Lance", you stated. Was this the end of it all?

"We can't see eye to eye on this, can we?", he said, "I think we should think about this, with a clear head. I've already said things I don't mean in the slightest", your boyfriend suggested.

"I think it's a good idea, too", you gulped, getting up and grabbing your bag so you could leave.

You put on your shoes, lacing them carefully whilst feeling Lance's gaze on you, waiting desperately to hear the three words from him. Despite his opinion, you cared about him and wanted him in your life, so much so that at the beggining of your relationship you promised eachother that, no matter what, you'd never let the other go to sleep wondering if the other loved then. You could be mad or upset at eachother, but you had to know you loved eachother, so when he said "I love you", and looked at you, it made you feel a little bit better.

"I love you, Lance. Travel safe, okay?", you said, looking at him one last time before closing the door behind you.

The Buzzin Corner had been the first activity Lance got to do that got his mind off of what had happened, and for a bit he actually thought he had a good plan for when he came back, wanting to focus on his race first and then head home to you.

Sebastian had stopped by the Aston Martin hospitality, wanting to greet his old team when he saw Lance sitting in one of the sofas in the corner, "May I? You know being alone always makes your own thoughts louder", he smiled, sitting next to the number eighteen driver.

"Sure, it's probably for the best to be honest", Lance mumbled, "are you enjoying the weekend?", he asked, "it's different when I'm watching the cars race rather than racing myself", the German driver added simply, "it's a good thing I know a lot of people here. Just saw your sister too, and her husband. How is Y/N? I don't mean to be nosy, but I'm curious to know how she is", Sebastian asked Lance. He had met you in the last couple of races from the previous season, keeping you company a few times since you, too, preferred to stay in the hospitality rather than in the buzz of the paddock.

"She's back home, work has been keeping her busy and she had an appointment", Lance forwarded, thinking about telling him more. He and Sebastian had grown close, especially after being teammates, and he seemed to have a good marriage, so maybe he had some helpful insights about the situation. And the worst he could do was gossip about it with Mick, and even that he didn't think would be the case, so Lance figured it was okay.

"Actually, I've been meaning to talk to someone about this", he tried, seeing his previous teammate show no signs of not wanting to hear it, "Y/N, she's incredible, we've established that from the beggining. But I feel like she's not in this as much as I am?", Lance shrugged.

"What makes you think that?", Sebastian questioned, "it's like she doesn't want me to be there for her. Am I unreasonable to think that I should be involved in her life? She never asks for my help, and we had a fight about it before I travelled here", he gulped.

"I don't know her enough to answer from her side, nor do I want such meddling", Sebastian began, "But have you considered how it feels for her?", he pointed out, "I'm not taking any sides here, but I think it's important you see her side and she sees yours. Y/N is an incredibly intelligent woman, you know I said that to you after she visited us for the first race weekend", he smiled, recalling the many teasing comments of the German driver stating how he had definitely got lucky and of how whipped he looked for the young woman. "I don't think she would do anything to purposefully hurt you, I saw how much she cares about you. Maybe her love language is not the same as yours. I remember me and Hanna also had to work around them", he finished.

"I really don't want to lose her, you know?", Lance admitted. He saw a future with you. Whenever he thought about being married or having a family, or even growing old, he had you by his side. Despite knowing you wouldn't want a celebration like his sister had for her wedding, only because it wasn't your thing, but he couldn't help himself but think of how it would be for you. To see you in a dress and celebrate your love in front of the people you cared about most, to dance around and, most importantly, to spend the rest of his days with. "I don't want to throw the towell, but it's difficult to navigate this, and I don't want to say anything that would hurt her. When we talked about it, I already said things I didn't mean", Lance added, looking up at Sebastian, "make sure you talk it out like grown adults. No offensive words thrown around, because that will do you no good. If you're really in love with eachother, you find compromises and discuss them, see where one or the other bends, with balance, of course", the older driver advised, patting his back, "I hope everything goes well with you two, she's an incredible young woman", he smiled.

"Thanks, Sebastian", Lance smiled, too, now wanting the weekend to be over so he could talk to you.

Hi, love. I'm sorry your race got cut short but a technical issue. I hope you all have a safe travel home.

Also, I'm going to be home for the next few days because I had a small exam (I'm fine, by the way, just a little crampy), so if you want to drop by so we can talk, let me know, okay? I love you.

Those two texts on his phone warmed his heart slightly. He was gutted that he didn't get to finish the race, but still comforted by the fact that you had been watching and supporting him.

"Smiling about your lover, little brother?", Chloe asked, sitting in front of him. The family was flying back home together and everyone seemed to be either working or asleep, so Lance had the options to either talk to his sister or do what the others were doing.

"Yes, she just texted", he smiled faintly, his eyes not budging the part where you mentioned you'd be home, surely because it was medically prescribed given the exam you had. "She had an appointment today and she's saying she's done with the examination they did", he said.

"Oh, bless her. Is it because of her periods? She was telling me about it the last time we visited and she was very uncomfortable", Chloe thought out loud, "I've never had them, but some of my friends have had them and some of them are hard-core. Hopefully she can manage the pain and hopefully not need surgery", she finished, taking a sip from her drink and not notice how her brother's face had turned into worry.

Pain? Surgery? What was she on about? You mentioned some blood work, scans if they saw fit. But maybe you had a reason behind not telling him, so until then, he was going to work with the information he had.

Lance was up bright and early given the jetlag, thinking he would just get his day going before dropping by to your place. When he arrived the day before, he only had the energy to send you a text that he was home before he found the energy to shower and go to sleep, hoping to visit you today.

After his workout and another shower, he got ready and ate breakfast, taking his car keys out of the decorative bowl they lived in before making his way out of the door.

Driving to your place, he rehearsed the words and ideas he wanted to say. Now, he understood the importance of hearing your side of the story, because while he felt frustrated and a little hurt, he knew you were most likely not doing it on purpose, so there had to be another reason behind it.

Sending you a quick text and getting a positive reply back, he made his way to your place, parking his car and heading up to knock on your door.

"May I?", he wondered when you opened the door, getting inside and taking his shoes off before he kissed your forehead, heading with you silently to the living room.

"This is where I've been spending my days, so that's why there's pillows and blankets everywhere", you blushed, sitting yourself in a comfortable position so Lance could sit next to you, "we're here to talk, so do you mind if I start?", you asked, earning his nod.

Letting out a big breath, you looked at your boyfriend's brown eyes, "I've been on my own for a while, so I had to learn how to do things on my own. My parents always made sure I was raised as an independent woman because that gave me a feel of self security and some self confidence", you explained, "and so, for me, asking someone for help or accepting is not as easy as it is for some".

"But is that because you don't trust me to help you? Or that you don't want my help?", Lance asked softly, starting to understand where you were coming from.

"No, not like that. I trust you completely. And when I choose to not ask for help, it was never with the intention of hiding it all from you in a malicious way... I guess I'm just doing things like I was wired to do, and because of that I couldn't understand why you were so upset and mad about it", you breathed out, finally letting it all out.

"Then, maybe you can trust me enough to let me help? I understand where you're coming from now, but I promise I'm only have good intentions, and I want to be here for you. You don't have to deal with things on your own all the time", he brushed some hairs behind your ear.

"I didn't want to seem distant. It's just, I've been like this my whole life, and I never wanted to be overbearing. It's jus how I do stuff, but I'll make an effort to be better. Can't say it will be easy and linear, but we'll talk along the way, yes?", you added.

"Exactly. So, what are these exams?", he asked, holding your hand in his, rubbing the soft skin with his fingers, "I've always had pretty painful cycles, you know that. And because of that, my doctor thought it was best for me to get some further tests just to make sure things are working as they should. This time it was just a blood sample and the did a scan of my belly, and next week I have a smear booked which depends on what the other tests' results say when they come back", you gulped, "they're worried about some conditions, and fertility and all of that, so they think it's best if they catch it early", you shrugged your shoulders.

"Why didn't you tell me?", he asked, "Well, we established I'm not the best at asking for help, am I?", you blushed, "it's a lot for someone to take in. They keep saying that it could be nothing or that it could be something big, we just have to wait and see. And you've been in hospital recently in far worse shape, I didn't want to burden you", you said, earning a shake from his head, "I want to he here for you as much as possible in this, if you'll let me, please. Wether it's just bloodwork of a full body scan. I don't care if they're poking you with needles or some sort of exam, I want to be there because I care about you. You could never be a burden for me, and in matters like this, I'm not letting you walk through it alone, no matter what happens, okay?", Lance checked, earning a nod, "I need words, sweetheart", he teased, "yes, I'll tell you", you smiled, cupping his cheeks so you could press your lips in his.

"And we'll talk to eachother whenever we feel like we're not being understood. I don't care what it is about, we talk about it. You want me out of your hair? Okay. I need you to let me help you put on a sock? Let's do it!", he chuckled, making you smile too, "I want you for the long run, so I'm willing to make this work for the best if you are, too", he kissed your forehead, "we have a deal?".

Smiling, you pecked his lips a few times, "we have a deal. Thank you for being so understanding", you blushed, nuzzling your face in his chest, "now, I'm just going to get you a hot water bottle, your meds, and then we'll get comfortable enough to watch this show".

#lance stroll imagine #lance stroll x reader #lance stroll fluff #lance stroll fic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic

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welcometololaland · 1 year

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Hi! So I’m new to the Tarlos fandom and you seem to be really nice… so if you could help me navigate this space I would be very grateful. So how’s the fandom what can I expect ? What are the accounts to follow?

I understand if you’re not available to answer and if it’s not your thing but thank you anyway.

HELLO! Welcome <3 This certainly is my thing - I'm always available and happy to answer any and all questions when it comes to Tarlos content.

First up, a warm welcome to the Tarlos fandom - we are happy to have you here! I expect that from your ask you have only recently watched the show. I hope you enjoyed :) Usual caveats apply - check tags, warnings, ratings etc. Not all blogs/fics/content is going to be for everyone, and that's totally okay!

Before I get into my rambling/screaming about how much I love other people and their work, I should also say that I never have enough time to consume all the Tarlos content that I would like to, and so this list can never capture every amazing person on this site. If you check out the #fic rec friday tag on my blog, you should find all the round ups for all past Fic Rec Fridays, where people from all over the fandom (and other fandoms!) recommended some truly amazing content.

Also shout out to @rmd-writes for letting me appropriate some of your own recs on a similar ask.

Fic Blogs:

I am, first and foremost, a fic writer and I will never be able to rec all of the talent in this fandom all by myself, but here are some of the people I have turned to on Ao3 over my last year or so of being here:

@liminalmemories21 @goodways @strandnreyes @reyesstrand @reyescarlos @sunshinestrand @iboatedhere @beautifulhigh @heartstringsduet @carlos-in-glasses @alrightbuckaroo @freneticfloetry @rmd-writes @bellakitse @howtosingit @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @catanisspicy @basilsunrise @chaotictarlos @thebumblecee @noxsoulmate @marjansmarwani @morganaspendragonss. THAT BEING SAID there are a lot of newer people in the fandom that I haven't yet had the chance to dive into and I'm SO sorry for that, but I look forward to reading nonetheless!!! Again, I'd recommend looking up the Fic Rec Friday round ups because they are much more fulsome than what I've got here, and I'm so sure I've forgotten people accidentally!

Source Blogs:

Here's a few places I go to for Tarlos/Rafa/Ronen news/content:

@911lsbts @rafaelsilvasource @ronenrubinsteinsource

GIFs/videos:

GIF/video makers are gods on this earth and here are just a few I adore (PLS I KNOW I'VE MISSED PEOPLE I'M SO SORRY):

@lutavero @guardian-angle22 @danieljradcliffe @maxbegone @strandtk @/tailoredshirt @angeltk @velvet-lnk @whattarush @chaotictarlos @tylerkennedys @rafael-silva @3416 @lonestardust

Fan Art:

Incredible talent I eat up:

@ambiguouspenny @fitzherbertssmolder @heartstringsduet (tagged above) @thebumblecee (tagged above) @angeltarlos @rafascosmic @fckingyrs @watmalik @birdclowns @thevenstar @reyeslonestar @thisbuildinghasfeelings

ANYWAY! I'm so sure I have accidentally omitted people because I'm doing this on the fly, so PLEASE don't feel bad if I didn't include you here (especially if you're a newer fandom member because I have been falling behind recently!) If you would like to drop some recs in the comments for this anon, that would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for your ask, anon! Any opportunity I get to rave about the amazing creators in this fandom, I will take it!

#911 lone star #tarlos #fic rec #fandom rec #gif rec #fan art rec #911 lone star rec #tarlos rec #tk strand #carlos reyes #ask #answered #anon ask

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alexanderwales · 4 months

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Book Review: Metropolitan Man

[content warning: sexual violence]

It's been 10 years since I wrote Metropolitan Man, and last night I read it for the first time in almost that long. Since writing it, I've written over 4 million words, and hopefully, grown as a writer. I've also forgotten parts of the story, so was looking at it with as fresh of eyes as possible. These are my overall thoughts.

I should say, before I start, that I've read tons of comments and discussion on this story over the years. I don't know how many of these thoughts are my own, or how much I've internalized things that people have said.

Writing Style

There were lots of changes I thought about making while reading, but people hate change, and this story is about ten years past when I wanted to be making editing passes on it. In many places I kept thinking of little extras I would add, things that would make the dialogue pop a little more, or provide characterization. I had this idea for a line where I describe Lois typing out two letters like she was letting loose with both barrels of a shotgun. There's dialogue to clean just a bit more, a few places where words are repeated or something is just a bit awkward, and where it could have been tighter or more clear.

The biggest thing that stood out to me was how little time got spent on scene setting and how short some of the snippets were, just five paragraphs to get a scene across before we're onto the next thing. I might have webserial brainrot, but those are definitely places where today I would give a little more breathing room and maybe use the same amount of words to describe something in a more oblique and stronger way. One that stood out as a clear example was a private investigator going home with Jimmy Olsen even though she was done pumping him for information, which could have been twice as long and benefitted from it. Another was a brief little thing about a Superman spotter on the roof, where I'd now describe everything he was doing, and only get to the conclusion of "he was a Superman spotter" at the end of the section to let the reader have this mini mystery of what they're being shown and why.

I would describe things more if I was writing this today, trying to get those nicely tight and evocative descriptions and ditch the stuff like "she wore a white blouse", but I often feel that way about stuff that I'm revising from last week, so it's not surprising.

The plot is very tight, which is good. I tend to prefer my plots tight, but it takes work, and webserials aren't conducive to it because it's difficult to know when you're writing a scene whether it's really pulling its weight as far as moving things forward. The initial idea for MM was to move as cleanly as possible through a series of events: Superman -> Superman is invincible -> Superman is Clark Kent -> Clark Kent grew up in Smallville -> the ship is in Smallville -> the ship has a Kryptonite power source -> Kryptonite can kill Superman -> Superman is dead. The only thing that would make it any faster would be if we dropped the Lois Lane subplot, but that's like half the novel.

Superman is OOC

I've gotten tons and tons of comments on this story over the years. If I hated myself, I would go back through my email and count them up, but there are some death threats and "kill yourself"s in there, and I prefer not to reread them. The major thing that people hate is the ending, which I don't care to talk about, but the other major thing is that Superman isn't Superman.

In this, I largely agree, but then, I'm pretty sure I've always agreed. That said, Superman has had a ton of interpretations over the years, and there's a wide range of acceptable behavior from "a Superman", even if we're not counting the really out there variations like Red Son or some of the alternate timelines.

... but I still would probably make him more like a canon Superman if I had to do it all over.

There are a few things that raise red flags at the beginning, which is where I think they're inexpertly placed. Superman takes Lois off the roof and flies her around, making her very afraid, and this is fine, I think, a misunderstanding that might be stronger if we got his insight into what was happening before we got hers to help bridge some of the disconnect there and characterize them both better. But there's a little note after that, where Clark makes a joke about "Superman's girlfriend Lois Lane" that I think is a HUGE red flag, and which probably comes too early in the story. It would be better as a joke someone else made that Clark laughs along with, which raises the red flag to half mast.

The other major moment I would change is when the bombs start going off. Superman pulls back, unsure whether he's actually immune to mustard gas, and I think this is one of the moments that most goes against the character of Superman. Canon Superman would just say "welp, guess I gotta find out whether I'm immune to mustard gas in a hurry". Superman making the argument that he doesn't know the bounds of his powers and so should exercise caution reads as either cowardice or as him being way too bitten by the rationality bug.

This would then obviously have to change the plot of that section a bit, because in the novel as it stands right now, Superman is convinced by Lois Lane that he can't just sit on the sidelines for game theory reasons. Better to either scrap that section or have Lois convince Superman that for game theory reasons he should offer to have testing carried out against him in a way that doesn't harm civilians, which canon Superman might submit to if it saved lives. Then the rest of the plot can proceed as normal, because Superman is immune to everything and that's the whole plot beat anyway.

I'd definitely clean up some of Superman/Clark's dialogue to nail the character voice better, but I don't think it's that bad, and it's mostly a few places where the wording is off. I think in particular the points where he's feeling anger go too far, and are not how someone internally conflicted about the anger might talk.

And then, oh yeah, Superman punches a guy's head clean off, which I think is the biggest sticking point for most people.

I've thought about that scene a lot. I personally like it. But if I were ever trying to sell this story to DC, it's one of the things I would almost certainly change. Superman doesn't kill, except in that one movie that came out just before this story was published where Superman snapped a guy's neck.

The change I am most happy/comfortable with is that Whitman, the governor whose children were [REDACTED], is the one to kill Calhoun. This happens just outside the courthouse with Superman watching and not intervening in the slightest, or maybe catching the bullets as they go through Calhoun so no bypassers get hit.

I don't know, as I type it out, it doesn't have the same weight to it. It's not cool. It's not a watershed moment. Maybe there's a plot thread to pull there, where Superman has tacitly endorsed other vigilantes, and it would be a great time to pull in other mundane street-level heroes ... but that's an entirely different story at that point.

Another option is for Superman to simply fly off with Calhoun and put him away, but that lacks punch too, and gets talky, and ... it's about the rage, right? The feeling of injustice, not just at Calhoun, but at the entire world, and it's not just an unhappy side effect that there's blood everywhere, all over the clamoring press, that's part of the point.

Social Justice

I really enjoy how wide-ranging the novel is, and how many things it touches on. Good job me. There was a line I had completely forgotten about where Lois asks "Why doesn't Superman stop abortions?" that I had completely forgotten I had ever written, and which brought a big smile to my face (but no wonder some Superman fans hate this story).

There are a few other things that I raise my eyebrow at a little bit, at least sitting here in 2024. There's a particular line that Superman gives when talking about this whitewashed mural of the past they're walking by, and he says "It's easy to forget that slavery ever happened, you know?" Now, I will grant you that this is a part of a conversation where he's saying that maybe he should have been a better student of history, and is saying this as a white guy in 1934, but I wanted him or someone else to tear that statement apart. It never really happens.

"It's easy to forget that slavery ever happened [if you and your people have not been affected by slavery]". The novel takes place ~70 years after the end of the Civil War, which means that when Clark was growing up there would have been freed slaves who were in their fifties, probably many of them in Kansas, though Smallville is (notably) small. I don't know, it wouldn't have been historically accurate for them to have a discussion of privilege, but there's way more meat on that bone, and it's all left as subtext.

Also probably the case that if I were writing it now, I would pay more attention to race in general, but that I'm less sure on, because it would mean some major structural changes to be done well. There's a single black guy in the whole thing, who is barely a character and has no speaking lines: the farmhand Ma Kent has before he gets lured away with the promise of being an actor. I have never felt that any novel needs racial balance to it, but if you're going to be talking about slavery and whether Superman would have done anything about it, you start to make black people look like props, which is not a good look.

I mean look, I think it's fine for a given story to not actually take a stance on political issues or have a diverse cast, but this story goes from abortion to the Equal Rights Amendment to Prohibition to Nazis to the death penalty, and then despite being set in 1934 sort of talks around the subject of how shitty race relations were. As a white guy, I never feel comfortable talking about race, but I think it would have been appropriate to have here in more than the cursory way it was handled. But the cast is just not that large, and the way that modern Superman stories handle that is usually making Jimmy Olsen black and then not actually talking about the fact that he's black so it's just a palette swap, which I don't think would work here, especially since Jimmy is such a bit character, and also it's 1934.

Sexual Violence

Alright, I will say it: there's too much sexual violence.

Chapter 7 is when the two Whitman kids get kidnapped. Their driver gets his throat slit, the boy gets dismembered, and the girl gets raped. I knew it was coming and I was still horrified by it.

I would not remove this part. I would foreshadow it better with a few scenes with Calhoun, the brutes, etc., and I might change some of the details to be a bit less awful and gruesome, but I don't think I would remove it. There are a few core ideas here that I think all work:

The better class of criminal has left the city now, and all that are left are the worst of the worst, the people who will not respond to incentives or symbols or rational thought.

If you cannot strike at Superman's physical self, you strike at his mind instead, and one of the ways to do that is psychic damage. In Calhoun's case, this is irrational, a pure desire to hurt Superman in any way possible while his empire collapses.

The amount of evil in the world is enormous. The pain and suffering cannot be comprehended. I love what Superman says, that this isn't really unique, that these things happen to children all the time. He's upset about not being able to save them, but they're a drop in the bucket.

I think you have to be careful with sexual violence, whether it's depicted or hinted at or just briefly mentioned. There are tons of people who are not on board with that in their media, and even of those who are on board, it has to be handled carefully and can feel very cheap, as though you're just going to the worst and most transgressive thing you can think of for the shock value. People will see it as lazy and trivializing and making entertainment out of this horrible thing.

I think the world is shit. I think terrible things happen. I have always felt both oppressed by the weight of evil in the world and powerless to stop it. I think that's the thing that I'm gesturing at here, and it feels weird to me that sexual violence would get put on a pedestal as the one thing too horrible to mention, even though we're mentioning all the most horrible things.

How do Superman comics and shows and movies deal with this? My impression is that they don't. Surely Superman must be stopping rapes from happening, but I cannot think of a single time I've seen it happen. I'm actually having trouble thinking of a time it was implied to happen. I think this is probably a good idea on the part of the people who make these bits of media, but it's absolutely not realistic if you're thinking about how Superman would operate in the "real world". Sexual violence happens, child abuse happens, and I guess we just sort of assume that these things are dealt with by Superman off-screen.

Though ... I mean it impacts the characters, right? Does Superman not have a trauma response? Does he have a superpower where he can bottle it all up? He's definitely too late to stop certain crimes, and he definitely can't make things better for some of the victims, and I guess in the comics when he shows up to a burning building he generally has a 100% success rate and people come out with only minor injuries, but ... alright, this is definitely the sort of thing that led me to write this fic in the first place.

It's a question that the fic doesn't have an answer for: how do you go on living when you know that there's so much evil in the world?

I think dialing that particular scene back is, maybe, fine. But it's the sort of thing that would feel like I was being less authentic in a way, as though I wanted to grapple with the big questions but not that one, wanted to consider ethics and morality but silo myself away from things that actually are on my mind. I see the point of blunting that scene, and I rebel against it because I don't want to be blunted, I want to be sharp.

I would, however, remove a lot of the earlier references, or blunt those, because they didn't need to be sharp. There are, before the Whitman stuff, about five references to sexual violence, and maybe even just using "sexual violence" would be enough, rather than "rape". One of these references is to what crimes Superman is statistically most likely to stop, another is to a plot to besmirch his name, both can be massaged or they can go.

I don't know if I think about these things differently because time has passed or I've had a bunch of discussions about these issues, or whether it's just having the outside view. It's weird to think about what a conversation with myself would look like, if we were working on the story together.

Retrospective

I understand why Superman fans sometimes hate this story. There's the Superman OOC stuff, sure, but there are also a lot of questions about Superman that apply to canon equally well, and people hate that. Superman is a fantasy, maybe the ultimate comic book fantasy. He stops crimes and bullets bounce off him! You're not supposed to think about his stance on abortion rights. You're not supposed to look at the Clark Kent mask and say 'huh, that's strange'. I mean it's media, you can do whatever the hell you want, but if Superman is a fantasy, then there are a lot of questions that are fantasy-ruining.

I stand by the story as written about 80%, which is higher than I thought it would be, though there are certain things that I stand by more than others. There are certain structural changes and many line-by-line changes, and I'm glad that I didn't have the story open in edit mode, because it would have taken me three times as long to read and when I hit "save changes" people would grumble about archives or bad changes or whatever, because you can't please people.

About five years ago, I started writing A Common Sense Guide to Doing the Most Good, which was meant as a companion piece to MM. It ended up being all mechanics, no plot, and the plot that I wanted it to have was divorced from the center questions it wanted to answer. It didn't feel as grand, I guess, and the cats were out of their bags a little too quickly.

One of the Answers that MM gives is that the thing you should do in the face of overwhelming evil is to grind relentlessly, grind until your bones are scraping the grindstone and there's nothing left of yourself. The story does not believe this answer, but it's one of the places I ended up ten years ago, and am still sort of at now. The other answer is to live as best you can, be aware of the evil and do what you can against it without letting the idea of it (or the battle against it) consume your soul.

When I was finished reading, I kind of wanted to write an uncritical Superman comic. Something where Superman can be as his most loyal fans see him, someone who is Good and doesn't often have to grapple with what Good means, where the thorny edges of moral quandaries never come to light and the hero is always there in the nick of time. Where Clark Kent is a bold and noble expression of humanity rather than a deception and a mask. Maybe I will go do that.

#fanfic #metropolitan man #book review

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the-offside-rule · 2 years

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Lando Norris (McLaren) - Pizza Delivery

Requested: yes

Warnings: nope

Y/n sat reading through her notes in her parent's house. She had a big exam coming up soon and she had been doing nothing but studying and she was sating with her parents due to her learning being online now. "Y/n? We'll be back soon. We're just going to the shops." Your mother announced. "And we'll be back if I'm lucky." your dad muttered earning a glare from your mother. "That's fine. See you later then." She replied not even turning her head from her book. "Don't forget to eat darling. You haven't even left that seat." Y/n just blocked the noise out and continued on studying by herself. It had been a good hour or so when she was torn from her thoughts by the doorbell ringing. She let out a loud groan and walked towards the door to open it, only to be confronted by a pizza delivery guy. She looked down confused and realised he probably messed up the addresses. "Oh, I didn't order a pizza."she said politely. "For Lando Norris, he doesn't live here?" the delivery guys asked. Y/n shook her head. "Nope." she said popping the 'p'. "Well I have to leave it somewhere." He said handing it over. "Fine, that's fine. I'll just...ask around for where this Lando guys lives then." she said. "Thanks miss."

Y/n called their neighbour and asked who Lando was. She was given a few suggestive answers, almost as if she knew who this Lando person was but she shrugged it off. She had to get back to studying quickly, no time to waste. She eventually found out it was the guy to their left so she grabbed a jumper and put it on before walking out to go to the mystery person's house. She knocked on the door a few times and waited patiently for him to answer. He seemed to be taking a long time but he eventually answered. "Oh hi there." A brunette boy said opening the door. She practically swooped, even though she didn't entirely know in that moment. His green eyes were gorgeous, that much she figured. "Oh hi. I'm your neighbour to your right and well your pizza was delivered to my house by mistake." she explained trying to keep the stuttering to a minimum. Lando watched her, taking in all her features. She was quite pretty and she seemed like a very nice girl but he'd never met her before, never even seen her around. Maybe she was new.

"But anyway, I guess I'll be off. Enjoy your pizza." Y/n smiled before turning around to leave, only to be called back by Lando. "Wait, I can't possibly eat this whole pizza by myself. How about you come in and maybe have a slice yourself?" She had to study but before she realised what she was doing, she nodded her head and accepted the offer. She sat down and the pair started talking for ages, both had forgotten whatever plans they once had and the time for that matter. She looked around and saw multtiplee different helmets and then came the conversation about him being a driver. "It must be so cool going around to all these different places and just driving." She smiled. "It's amazing, I really love doing it." he replied. "What about you? What do you do?"

"You're a racing driver, I'm sure you have a lot more interesting things to talk about than asking what I do." she chuckled. "Yeah but, I'd like to get to know my neighbour a bit better." Her heart fluttered. What.the.fuck. What a gentleman! "Oh well, I study physiotherapy in-" she felt her phone buzzing in her pocket. Without even looking at the ID, she picked it up. "Hello?" she chirped. "Y/n! Where are you?! We're worried sick!" She realised she was meant to be at home, she was meant to be studying. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I'll be back, I just went for a walk." She hung up and quickly stood up. "I'm so sorry to cut this short but I have ton get home. It was lovely meeting you though." Lando stood up and walked her to the door. "Yeah, dont worry about it." he said opening it for her. "Maybe we could continue our conversation some other time." she said. "I'd love to, just call around anytime after four. I'll probably be at home by then." Y/n and nodded. "Will do. See you around Lando!" she said walking away. "See ya!"

Once she got out of his driveway, she began sprinting back to her house, nearly falling multiple times too. She finally got to her house and basically crashed through the door. "I'm back!" she announced, trying to make it sound like she wasn't just out of breath. "Where the hell were you?" her mother asked taking her coat from her. "I just went for a walk down the street." she lied. Her mother gave her an unamused look. "What?" she asked confused. "Y/n, can a tree move by its own free will?" she shook her head. "Can it write?" she shook her head again. "Then I doubt a tree left you their phone number in your pocket." Her face went red as she saw a piece of paper come out of her pocket and in her mother's hand. She snatched and scrunched it up. "It's about time you tried to get a boyfriend though." She laughed walking away. "He's not my boyfriend! He's a neighbour!" she retaliated and let out a loud sigh. "Fuck sake." she muttered before opening up the piece of paper and smiling at thee message.

Here's my number in case you ever want to stop by and do a pizza delivery again

-Lando

#f1 #lando norris #lando norris imagines #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x reader

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tobiasdrake · 7 months

Text

Well, as long as we're rafting the temporal streams, might as well head back to Dormont. Got some errands to run in the past.

I'm like 98% sure you're trying to flirt with me but you're too nervous to actually go through with it. Would you please just finally ask me out so I can rock your evening?

Look, be glad I was tasteful enough not to go for the other pun.

My guy, what could possibly compel you to think I'm not comfortable with basic human conta--

...you know what, that's fair. I guess I do go out of my way to minimize any and all possible exposure of physical features, don't I?

Anyways, go on and get out of here while I chat with my Lemonfriend.

Oh, I've always liked you. I'm just also creeped out by you. Two things can be true.

...huh. If I can die here in Dormont, then... that does make things easier. I was planning on throwing myself on a Tear once we got into the House since you said I can loop forward as well as back, but dying here in town would save me some time.

Oh shit yes. I'd love the ability to call you and chat about what I'm seeing while the rest of the crew looks at me like I've lost my goddamn mind.

Especially since the ultra-secret fourth sign is making a phone shape out of your fingers and then talking on it. That's hilarious.

This.

This is it.

This is the key to killing myself in Dormont.

...

I should probably wait until I've finished up here.

ISA

I didn't realize you come up here after we're done. I don't have anything else to talk about but it's great seeing you up here.

Didn't accomplish as much here as I expected to. But at least we can take another crack at that desk drawer.

Okay between this and the rock switch, I no longer have any confidence in my own ability to do my job. It's distressing that each setback thus far has been the fault of a bad d20 roll on the primary reason that I'm with this party.

Ha! Rock trap for the Rock key. I get it.

Really? They're frozen in time right now but I am looking for a book. You think they might have set it out for me in advance? That would be awfully nice of them.

Oh shit. There was a person in town who sometimes thinks they have a sister but can't recall where they moved to. That shit got super weird. This has to be related.

No idea how it's related to our current mission. But. It's gotta be related.

Always trust in the puns. The puns are life. The puns are the secret of the universe. Those who do not heed their wisdom face the ultimate punishment.

So the Rock Key was in a room guarded by a huge rock and the Paper Key is in the library. I am. Kind of. Terrified. Of where the inevitable Scissors Key will be found.

And one Star Crest. Well. *heavy sigh* Shit.

Gonna have to temporally save-scum this one.

Can't argue with that. Isa's my brofriend-maybe-more so his vote automatically weighs more than anyone else in this--

................

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Okay. It's okay. We can work this out mathematically.

Isa, as previously noted, is worth a million points because he's a precious slab of adorableness who flirts with me in the cutest ways imaginable and I'm super feeling it.

Mira, meanwhile, is worth half a million points because she's also awesome and cool and she's our wonderful team leader and I adore her.

Bonnie is worth infinity points because they are a child whose hopes and dreams we are responsible for and I don't want to let them down.

However, Odile is worth zero points because she's mean to me and sometimes makes me want to cry. I still haven't forgotten that crack, Odile. Even though you have because it was in another time loop.

If we add them together, then Team Beauty is worth a million and a half points, but Team Age is worth infinity points.

However my sign is Scissors, and the shape of Scissors forms a multiplication symbol, not a plus symbol. Which means that Team Beauty is actually worth 500,000,000,000 points while Team Age is worth 0 points.

Thus, the objective and entirely unbiased answer is that Team Beauty wins.

I'm sorry, Bonnie! But math never lies. We must go south. It is our destiny to go south.

I know you will. It is my destiny to have a future filled with spuds. I accept my fate, but I do not apologize.

#in stars and time #drake plays in stars and time

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beezlub · 11 months

Text

Daffodils & Dragons || Draco M. x F! H! Reader

synopsis; studying for the NEWTs, time had caught you and you had completely forgotten about the yule ball. finding yourself at a gryffindor party a few days before, your short friendship with draco starts to unravel, leading you to a side of him you’ve never seen.

a/n; teehee. this is. long. it was a very self indulgent fic, as a plus size reader/writer who has a very soft spot for draco, i just wanted to write for him 🫶 also this is my first time writing smut, please be nice

story notes; SMUT (MINORS DNI), plot with porn, alcohol, p in v (wrap it before you tap it, PLEASE), mattheo is kinda an asshole and does mean things to (y/n), self-conscious thoughts abt self, romance, angst at the end BUT THERE IS A HAPPY ENDING

tw; sexual assault, potion misuse, alcohol spiking. please lmk if there’s something i’m missing!!

wc; 13.2k. i got carried away whoopsies

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

The NEWTs were known to be the worst exams you could ever take at Hogwarts, hence their full name; nastily exhausting wizarding tests. For the first half of the year, it had been filled with studying, attending tutoring sessions by my professors, and more studying. Exhausting, truly. I knew I didn’t need to push myself so hard, but I was trying so hard to follow in my parents footsteps, to become a potioneer.

I'd grown up around them explaining and showing me the processes of potion making, and it occupied a good portion of my mind for most of my childhood. A NEWT in the subject would mean the world to me, and hence the studying was needed.

“(Y/n), dearie, you need to get your head out of that book and get some air,” a voice said from behind me, and I noticed it was hannah.

“I’m quite alright, thank you though Han,” I said, quietly resuming the notes I'd been taking. I still had a few hours left until dinner, and I was keen on studying until then.

“(Y/n), please love. Take a break. You’ve been in your notes all semester. It’s a wonder how you aren’t burnt out yet," Hannah said, sliding into the chair next to me as she grabbed my hand, pulling my attention away again. “Join me tonight; there’s a party I want to go to, and I know you aren’t keen on them, but I think it’ll do you good. You haven’t been to a party since your fourth year. You need to relax,” she begged, her eyes silently pleading for me to go.

“Hannah, you? A party? What happened to miss prefect,” I said, giggling as I shut the book in front of me.

“I know, I know. It’s just…” she trailed off, her cheeks gaining a pink hue to them, and I immediately knew what she was getting at.

“I get it. Longbottom will be there, won’t he?” I teased, enjoying the way her cheeks flared, her eyes avoiding mine as she nodded. I let out a laugh, gathering the notes and pens I had scattered around the table. “Fine, I'll be your wingwoman. But for this, you owe me a butterbeer next time we go to Hogsmeade!” I mused, putting the materials in a neat pile as I heard Hannah cheer.

“Oh, thank you (Y/n)! Thank you! C’mon, we’ve got to get you out of these robes, and I need to do my hair!” She said, happiness apparent in her voice as she pulled me from my chair and out of the library, my books in my arms as she dragged me all the way to the Hufflepuff dorms, ignoring the stares we received, and into our shared room.

Placing my books on my desk, I took off my robe and draped it over the bed, leaving me in my uniform. Undoing my hair from the loosened braid, I let it fall over my shoulders as I sat on my bed, watching Hannah dig through the trunk at the end of hers.

“I don’t even know what to wear. I didn’t think this far ahead. I'm so nervous (Y/n), what if he doesn’t even notice me!” Hannah said, picking out a few dresses she had stored and throwing them over her bed. A dark red one caught my eye, and I quirked an eyebrow.

“Han, that one,” I pointed to the red one, watching as her face darkened again.

“(Y/n/n), that one…it’s too revealing!” She squeaked, getting off her knees as she picked it up, holding it to her frame. “It’d show…everything!”

“Isn’t that what you want? Neville will definitely notice you then,” I smirked, watching as her eyes widened with realization.

“Merlin, (Y/n). Find something and change, I'll be right back,” she said, skipping into the bathroom with the red dress as I let out a giggle. “Oh, Hannah,” I said, shaking my head as I left the plush surface of my bed and dug through my own trunk. Throwing out a few options, I sighed, wondering if I even had a dress that would be good enough for a Gryffindor party, though I thought it was odd they were throwing one on a Thursday.

“Hannah, can I rummage through your trunk?” I shouted, hoping she could hear me through the door.

“Do you not have a dress, (Y/n)? I thought you had that sparkly green one?” She shouted back, and I turned my eyes back to my trunk, digging through it until I found what she was talking about. It was a dress I had bought a few years ago to attend a Slytherin party, but never ended up wearing or even attending, due to not wanting to be tormented by Draco or his goons. Standing up, I held the dress to my body, watching as the dark green fabric sparkled in the dormitory light. Shrugging, I figured this was as good as it was going to get, and stripped off my uniform and tights before unclasping my bra and pulling the dress over my head. My figure had definitely filled out since I had bought the dress; it bunched up around my hips, and the low chest line left little to imagine as it pushed my chest up slightly. The dress ended mid thigh, and the sleeves were a sheer dark green that fell off my shoulders. I'd be lying if I said I didn’t feel sexy in this dress, and I ran my hands over myself, feeling the pudginess of my tummy. Turning around, I eyed the low cut in the back, wary of how it almost showed off my ass, but other than that it was perfect. Running a hand through my hair, I enjoyed the waves in the length from the hairstyle it had been in all day.

“Han, can I borrow some of your makeup?” I asked, looking at her as she exited the bathroom. The red dress hugged her figure tight, accentuating her hips and showed off more of her thighs than I could ever think of. “Wow…Han…you look stunning,” I said, shaking myself from my best friend's beauty as she laughed.

“I could say the same about you, dearie. You look hot!” She grabbed my hand and spun me, a laugh ripping its way from my throat. “I'll do your makeup, sit on my bed!”

Listening to her, I took place on her bed, sure to not let the material around my thighs ride up as I heard her murmur a spell, her wand directly in my face as I felt a cool breeze against it. “All done!” She sang, hopping up from the bed to slip on some black kitten heels and I rolled my eyes.

“I thought you were against using magic for makeup?” I asked, making my way back over to the mirror to see what she had done.

“I am, for the most part, but tonight calls for a special occasion.”

Looking in the mirror, I brought a hand up to my face, careful to not smudge the makeup on my face. The blemishes on my face were covered, the blush on my face making me look flushed constantly. There was a shimmery eyeshadow on my lids, along with a fine flick of eyeliner and mascara. Tinted gloss was on my lips, and I felt prettier than ever. “Thank you, I look so pretty!” I beamed, turning around at Hannah who had a smile on her face.

“You always look pretty, now grab some shoes! The party has already started!”

"What?!"

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

The music boomed in my ears as Hannah dragged me into the Gryffindor common room. I could already smell the booze in the air, and everybody was tightly together. My eyes wandered, and I saw a pair of hands on a girl's hips, dragging her ass into the male's crotch, and I inwardly cringed. If I had known this was how the party was going to be, I would've contemplated a bit more on coming, or wearing something different.

"I'm going to go get something to drink, Han. go find Neville," I said, removing my hand from hers as she nodded, and in an instant, her body was lost in the sea of seventh years. Shaking my head, I maneuvered to the side of the room, my eyes landing on a bottle of sherry and my heart eased its panic. Grabbing a cup, I poured the liquid in, but just as I was about to grab a mixer for it, a pair of hands slithered onto my hips.

"(Y/n), you look stunning tonight," the voice whispered in my ear, barely audible over the music, and the smell of firewhiskey invaded my senses. Turning around, I was met with Mattheo, a fellow seventh year who I had a few classes with over the last few years.

"Hi to you too, Mattheo," I said, giving him a polite smile as I tried to turn my attention back to the alcohol in my hands.

"Whadda shame," he slurred, his hand gripping my hips even tighter as he leaned in closer, "I woulda loved to take you out, now that I know what would be under that dress of yours," his hands ran up and down my sides, an unwelcome shiver running down my spine. Mattheo was far past drunk, and while I couldn't excuse his actions, the better part of me knew I needed to get him away from the alcohol.

"Matt, c'mon," I said, placing my cup down on the table behind me as I grabbed his sleeve, tugging him towards an empty loveseat in the corner. His frame towered above me as we made our way over, the music growing quieter as we moved away from the speakers. Gesturing for him to sit down, I ran a hand over the butt of my dress before sitting, cursing the way it slid up anyways.

"Y'so pretty, y'know that (Y/n/n)? I always thought you were pretty." He said after a few moments, his head lifting up from where it was resting against the back of the couch. I blushed at his words, hoping it wasn't visible in the dim lights.

"You're drunk, mattheo, you don't mean that." I said, pulling my gaze away from his face and scanning the crowd. I could see Hannah grinding against Neville, a drink in both their hands as they laughed, and my heart felt heavy again. Hannah was so pretty, her hair falling over her shoulders as she danced with neville. Her dress hugged her in all the right spots, the red complimenting her skin. If she hadn't been sorted into Hufflepuff, Gryffindor would've been my next guess, solely because of the color with her skin. The thoughts gnawed at my mind for a few more songs, constantly comparing myself with the other girls I knew, and how drastically different I looked than them.

As the next song played, a warm and calloused hand gripped the bare skin on my thigh, slowly working its way up. I didn't need to turn to know who it was; Mattheo. My skin froze, and I could hear my heart in my ears.

"Bet if I reached up a little more, I could feel how wet you are, baby," he slurred in my ear, his other hand coming to grip my face as he slammed his lips against mine. A muffled yelp escaped my lips from the contact, and I could feel his fingers against my pantyline. Panic flooded my system, and I pushed myself away from him, attempting to get up from the couch before he pulled me into his lap.

"No, no, (Y/n). I know you want me just as much as I want you, baby." Mattheo's hand clawed at my chest, groping one of my breasts as the other one kneaded my ass. It wasn't pleasurable; it was the opposite. I hated it, I wanted his hands off me, I wanted to burn this dress and my skin.

“Hey, mate. What's the big idea?” A voice said from behind me, and it was that moment that I realized I had been crying. Cedric stood behind me, his arms crossed against his chest before reaching out for me, pulling me up from Mattheo.

“Cedric,” I whimpered softly, feeling one of his hands rub my arm as he continued to glare at Mattheo, who had thrown his arms up in defense, and the smirk on his face made me want to puke.

“She wanted it, man. I could feel how wet she was under that slutty dress," Mattheo started before he was met with a punch to his face. The people around us had started to stare, and I could feel myself shrinking into Cedric's arm, trying to hide from them.

“Don’t ever say that about her, or another girl for that matter, Riddle,” Cedric spat, turning us around to make way to the other side of the room. “Are you okay, love?” He asked, his hand rubbing my arm once more as I pulled my dress down more. I couldn’t do anything but nod, trying to stop the tears falling from my eyes as we sat down with some other Hufflepuffs who had taken residence at one of the tables.

“(Y/n)? oh my god, love. what happened?” I heard Hannah behind me, and I turned around to face her, watching as she left Neville's arm and rushed over to me, cupping my face in her hands as she brushed stray tears away from my face.

“Riddle is what happened. I saw his hand up her dress when I went to get another drink, so I went to get her. Ended up decking the fucker in the face,” Cedric said, rubbing his knuckles as Hannah continued to comfort me.

“I-I think I might just go back to our dorm, Han.” I said quietly, holding one of her hands as she nodded. “I'll come and walk you back,” she got up, and I shook my head. “I don’t want to ruin your night, you stay here with Nev and the others. I'll be fine,” I said, lifting myself out of the chair.

“(Y/n), I’m not comfortable with you walking around the school after this. Somebody needs to walk with you,” she stated before a cough behind us distracted us.

“I'll walk her; I'm leaving anyway,” Draco said, his eyes shifting between the two of us. His sleeves of his black dress shirt were pushed to his elbows, his usually neat hair tousled as his eyes landed on mine. He looked like he had been in a fight too, but then I noticed his knuckles were bright red, just like Cedric's, confirming my suspicion. I wouldn’t put it past Malfoy to do something, on tonight of all nights too.

“Fine, but if I hear one thing from her, your ass is mine, got that Malfoy?” Hannah said, her hands resting on her hips as he nodded. “Noted; let’s get you back to your dorm, (Y/n),” Draco said, moving out of the way so I could leave the table. A shiver ran down my spine from him calling me by my first name; usually it was (L/n), or mudblood. First name basis was reserved for people close to him.

The walk to the Hufflepuff entrance was quiet, not many students to be seen. It was well past midnight at this point, and I cursed myself inwardly for letting time slip so fast. Thank Godric there were no prefects out at the moment though.

“Are you okay?” Draco asked, breaking the silence as he fell into step beside me. Looking up at him, I could see the concern written on his face, but he didn’t dare touch me.

“I think I'm alright. I’ll be fine, anyhow,” I started, unsure of what else to say as I wrapped my arms around myself, the late fall air cold, even inside the building.

“Here,” Draco held out a jacket, one I was unaware he was even holding, and I shook my head.

“It wouldn't fit, but thank you anyways,” I gave him a sad smile, brushing some stray strands of hair out of my face.

“Merlin, you’re stubborn,” Draco groaned before setting the jacket over my shoulders. It was warm from being in his arms, and smelled like musk and apples.

“I…thank you,” I muttered, grasping the edges of it gently as it fell quiet again. Soon enough, we reached the Hufflepuff entrance; its giant oak doors were daunting to me as I tried not to let the events of the last few hours crash down on me in front of Draco.

“Do you need me to go in with you?” He asked, noticing the worry on my face as his hands shifted a bit, almost as if he did want to help me.

“Oh-um. No, thank you,” I squeaked out, embarrassed that he saw the worry on my face, “here, thank you again,” I said, shuffling off the jacket as I placed it back into his arms, the brush of my fingers against his arms electrifying.

“Of course. i’ll see you in potions tomorrow,” he said, turning around, leaving me in the hall with a pale blush on my face, not one caused by makeup.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

The blaring of my alarm woke me up with a jolt, and I couldn’t help but groan, throwing a pillow over my head as I tried to drown the noise out. Just because I was in the sweetest house of them all didn’t mean I couldn’t be a bitch without sleep.

“Godric's sake, (Y/n) turn that blasted thing off. I have a bad enough headache as it is," Hannah groaned, throwing one of her pillows at me as I reached for the alarm on my bedside table, smacking around a bit until I hit the button, silence once again obtained. Pushing myself up, I blinked a few times, trying to figure out the mess that was on the floor. Clothes were scattered everywhere, a wand on top of everything. Shoes weren’t neatly put away under the beds, and a pile of clothing I didn’t recognise was on top of Hannah's trunk. The green dress I had on last night was draped neatly around one of the posters on my bed, and it took a few moments for a few things to click. One was that Neville was sleeping soundly on the other side of Hannah, hence the pile of clothes I didn’t recognise. Two, was that Draco was oddly nice to me last night after everything that had happened, and that if my speculations were right, he also got a few punches in at Mattheo.

“Hannah, c’mon. you’ve got to get up,” I said, throwing off the warm blankets as my feet met the cold stone on the ground.

“Not going to classes…Too hungover…” she moaned from under her blankets, and I stifled a laugh as I stripped out of my sleepwear and into my uniform.

“Snape will be mad at you, you know that right?” I asked, tightening the tie around my neck before leaning over to place the school loafers on my feet.

“Don’t care,” she replied before a heavy snore echoed through the room. Oh Neville.

“I'll miss you; make sure you use a condom,” I snickered as I grabbed my bag and robe, leaving the room before another object could be thrown at my head.

Settling down at the Hufflepuff table, I grabbed the notes out of my bag before filling my plate with the breakfast goods. I could feel eyes burning into the back of my head, but I opted to ignore it as I smiled at Cedric, who had just joined the table as well.

“Morning, (Y/n). how’d you sleep?” He laughed, ruffling my hair as I scoffed, threading a few fingers through my hair to undo the mess he had just made.

“Just fine, thank you.” I mumbled, rolling my eyes with a smile as I flipped open the notebook in front of me, ignoring that Cedric had stolen a sausage link off my plate. “Any more of you got laid last night?” I asked, enjoying the uproar of laughter that echoed out.

“Cedric got close with Cho, if I recall correctly,” Abby said, nudging him in the side as Ethan tossed a crumpled up straw wrapper at him from across the table.

“I probably would’ve, if you two hadn’t interrupted the game!” He laughed, which made me look up from my notes.

“There was a game?” I asked, looking around at my friends.

“Yeah, Ron started a game of spin the bottle, the one muggle game, but Pansy added on seven minutes in heaven. It was wonderfully funny.” Ethan cackled before shoveling eggs into his mouth.

“Oh…sounds lovely.” I mused, shaking my head as I turned back towards my notes.

“Malfoy wouldn’t play after he returned though. He looked seriously shaken yet deeply in love," Abby commented, Cedric nodding in agreement as he continued to eat off my plate.

“Wait…Draco came back? He said he was going to his dorm after he walked me back.” The confusion must’ve been written clearly across my face, as everyone fell silent.

“He..he did come back. But didn’t do anything but pour a cup or five of firewhiskey for himself,” Ethan shrugged, looking around the group. “What? She asked, and I told. Pansy threw a nasty fit when her spin landed on him, and he refused to kiss her for the bare minimum.”

“It's fine, guys, I swear. I just didn’t know, that’s all,” I said, shutting my notebook and giving a fake smile before I took a sip of the orange juice in front of me. The bell rang a few moments later, and we all said our goodbyes as we headed our separate ways. I usually had Hannah alongside me while we made our way to potions, but because of her ‘hangover’, she wasn’t here, and I felt extremely anxious. Another set of feet were following close behind me, and it made my pace pick up as I clutched my bag tighter in my arms, but their pace increased too. The anxiety inside me was skyrocketing as I reached the door of the potions room, and I flung it open, rushing to my usual seat. I didn’t want to see who was behind me, I didn’t want to know if it was some poor student trying to catch up to me, or if it was Mattheo trying to make another move. Settling down, I took a few deep breaths to try and calm down as other students filled the room. Hearing the chair scrape on the floor next to me, I pulled my gaze from my lap to see Draco sitting next to me, an irritated look on his face as he slouched back, his gaze on the board at the front of the class. I guess he noticed me looking at him, and he turned to me with a scoff.

“What? Something on my face, (Y/n)?” He asked, his word choice not matching up with his tone. “You’re a bloody fast walker, by the way. Practically running down the hall, you git.”

I blushed, turning away from him as I dug my notes out of my bag, watching as Snape scribbled something on the board. “I didn’t know it was you following me. I thought it was…” I trailed off, not wanting to recall the memories from last night.

“He won't be bothering you, love,” Draco said before shutting up. Besides being one of Snape's top students, it didn’t stop the glares from the professor to get him to shut up.

“If the class would like to start, we will be going over Amortentia today. You will be expected to make a decent potion of it by the end of class and have a three page essay over its components and your results by next Monday,” Snape said, my eyes drifting over the ingredients laid out on the table in front of us. I could hear the groans emitting from the students around me; an essay over the weekend wasn’t something anyone wanted.

“You will be partnered up with your desk mate today; given the…amount of students missing,” Snape continued, my head snapping up. Oh Godric. Hannah was usually my desk mate, the spot now taken by Draco. Not that he was a bad potions partner per se, probably the best in the class actually, give or take me. But we walked a line I didn’t know existed until a few months ago, when the term started. Always on the receiving end of his taunts, the boy’s words stopped carrying the sting they did from the first few years of school. Now, they stopped all together, and he was…friendly. In a Draco way. It was confusing, especially after yesterday’s events.

“Right, I muttered to myself, following the instructions I had written down in my notes, distracting myself from my previous thoughts as I poured my attention into the cauldron in front of me. I didn’t notice the way Draco was watching me, his gaze scanning my face, noticing the way my brows furrowed in concentration and how I stuck out my tongue as I bruised the peppermint heads with the mortar and sprinkled them into the potion, then dropped the whole leaves in. He continued to watch as I dropped in the powdered moonstone, stirring three times and seeing the way my eyes sparkled over the golden cauldron.

Scribbling down notes quickly for the essay, I turned to look at Draco, quirking a brow at his unlit cauldron.

“Aren’t you going to start?” I asked, dropping a handful of rose thorns into the pot before I covered the top with a silk cloth.

“We’re partners, if you didn’t hear Snape correctly. We were supposed to be doing this together,” his eyes glanced over the covered cloth, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“Oh, shit,” I clamped a hand over my mouth, my cheeks burning with embarrassment. “I'm so sorry, Draco. I got carried away,” I moaned, hiding my face behind my hands as I rested my elbows on the table. He laughed from beside me, a delightful sound to my ears as I peeked between my fingers.

“S’alright, (Y/n). Less work for me. I guess to pay you back for doing the hard work, I'll tackle the essay for you.” A hand found its way to my shoulder, and I jumped in surprise before it retracted immediately. “Sorry,” Draco mumbled, and I removed my hands from my face, watching him stare at his own notes with a slight pink tinge to both our cheeks.

“S’okay, Dray,” I said, the nickname rolling off my tongue as I lifted the silk. “Looks like it’s done, yeah?” I asked, looking at the pearlescent color swirling around.

“It does. Let me take a whiff," Draco said, grabbing the other side of the silk as he lifted it off. I watched as his head went closer to the pot, his eyes closing as he inhaled the scent.

“What does it smell like?” I asked as he pulled away, watching as he took his sweet time to exhale the breath he was holding.

“It smells like..amber and vanilla. and a hint of cinnamon,” he finally said, and I scribbled it down. My chest felt heavy at the description, but for what, I couldn’t pin. Was I upset that draco didn’t smell me? Was I happy that he didn’t? I didn’t know.

“Your turn,” Draco said to me as he finished writing his findings, and I gave a curt nod, brushing back a strand of hair so it didn’t dip in the potion as I leaned forward. My senses were flooded with the smell of apples, sandalwood, musk, and a hint of peppermint.

“What does it smell like?” Draco asked as I removed my face from the potion, pulling my hand down to let my hair fall back down.

“It smells like apples, sandalwood, and peppermint,” I said, grabbing my quill again as the bell rang for class change. I missed the raging blush on Draco's face as I put away my things, making sure the leftover ingredients were left on the edge of the desk.

“I'll help you with cleanup, professor,” a voice said over the chatter of students. I noticed it was Mattheo, and I groaned, anxiety settling in my bones once again. I hadn’t even realized he made it to class, surprisingly, but at least this meant I didn’t have to deal with him in the halls.

“Start with the back row; dump the cauldrons into the sink and wash your hands after everyone,” Snape's voice called out, and as I made my way out of the room behind Draco, I noticed Mattheo sending me a sly smile, making my skin crawl as I exited the room.

“What's your next class?” Draco asked, his long strides growing shorter as his steps fell into sync with mine.

“I have a free period next; I'll probably spend it studying in the library. The potions NEWTs are next week, and I want to be as prepared as I can,” I replied, my voice getting lost in the sea of students as they chatted and moved out of the way for us. Seems Draco still held his reputation around school.

“Ah, well, good luck with studying. I'm sure you’re going to ace the NEWTs next week, even without studying. You’re top of our class, (Y/n).” He said as we both unconsciously made our way to the library.

“You’re too kind to me now, Draco. What happened to your comments?” I asked, leaving no room for a response as I opened and closed the library door behind me, leaving Draco in the hall.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

I had taken up residence at my usual table in the library, books and notes once again scattered around me as I pounded information into my weary brain. I'd very much had skipped my classes for the rest of the morning and much of the afternoon; it wouldn’t hurt to lose a point or two off some assignments that were going to be turned in late in lieu of studying. Dropping my quill, I stretched back, my arms above my head as I heard my back crack. A low moan left my lips from the pop, and I slouched back down, pulling my skirt back down from its shifting upward.

“Merlin, (Y/n), have you been here all day?” A voice said, and I looked over to its owner.

“Hi, ‘mione. nice to see you too,” I laughed, watching as she set a tray down in front of me.

“You missed dinner, so I brought you some. I figured you’d be in here since you weren’t in defense or herbology.” She said as I eyed the potatoes on the tray, and she pushed it closer, rolling her eyes with a laugh as I said a quick thanks and scarfed the food down. I didn’t realize how hungry I was, having been too engrossed in the books to realize my bodily needs.

“If you weren’t so kind, you definitely would be in Ravenclaw,” Hermione shook her head as I gave her a shy smile.

“Just trying to be my best, that’s all.” I said, placing the fork down on the empty plate.

“Oh, by the way, someone asked me to give you this. Not a clue what it is though, so be wary,” she said, handing me a small box with a note tied to it. “Looks like you have an admirer, (Y/n/n),” she teased, a blush coming to my cheeks as I opened the note.

“Be my date to the yule ball?” It read. No name attached either. Handing the note to Hermione, I opened the box, surprised to see little heart shaped chocolates in them.

“Oh, that’s sweet!” Hermione chirped as I popped one of the chocolates in my mouth, feeling it melt on my tongue as it left a tingly feeling throughout my body.

“I had totally forgotten about the yule ball, to be honest. But there’s no sender, so why would I go with them?” I quipped, my body growing hot as I swallowed the chocolate. I'd never had a secret admirer before, and the thought of it made me blush, but not knowing who it was was nerve wracking. “Plus, it’s tomorrow. Why would they ask so late?” I continued, popping another chocolate into my mouth, the same tingly feeling exploding throughout my body as I closed the box, munching on the melting chocolate.

“Who knows? But you are going, aren’t you? I'd love to see how pretty you are in your dress!” Hermione smiled, grasping my hands from across the table as I nodded.

“Yes, I do plan on going. I might just tag along with you lot. I was supposed to go with Hannah, but she snagged Longbottom and I don’t really want to third wheel,” I laughed as she nodded.

“I'd love to have you there, (Y/n). Now c’mon, pack up sweets. You need your beauty rest for some dancing tomorrow. Studying can resume on Sunday.” Laughing, I nodded as I cleaned up my space and slung my robes and bag on, holding the chocolates and note in my hand as I walked back to the Hufflepuff dorms.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

The next morning had come and gone; most of it was spent soaking in one of the dormitory tubs. I couldn’t get myself to get out of the always-warm water and the bubbles that never popped. It was relaxing, but I knew I needed to get out soon. Hannah would be looking for me soon if she wasn’t already. She was keen on doing my hair and makeup again, saying she knew the perfect look for me to suit my dress. Letting out a groan, I unplugged the tub stopper, immediately missing the warmth as I stepped out and wrapped a towel around myself and patted myself dry as I picked up my clothes, tossing them into the laundry basket. Never in my years here did I question how they always knew what clothes belonged to who, but I was thankful for it.

Walking down the hall, I could hear the excitement emitting from the dorms and it brought a smile to my face as I entered my dorm, seeing Hannah on her bed, a mirror up to her face as she perfected her makeup.

“Oh, there you are! I was beginning to think you drowned yourself,” she laughed, setting down the eye pencil and mirror in her hand as she watched me plop down on my bed, a sigh escaping my lips as I stared up at the glow-in-the-dark stars I had pushed on the angled room at the beginning of the term.

“What's wrong love? Something got you down?” Hannah asked, moving from her bed to mine as she grasped my hand, making me look at her and give a soft smile.

“I don’t know, Han. I don’t feel as excited for this as everyone else,” I admitted, sitting up, her hand still holding mine.

“Is it because you didn’t get asked? Merlin, (Y/n), if that’s the case, that’s an awful reason to not feel excited. I thought you’d be one of the first girls to be asked out, with how kind and pretty you are. Not to mention you’re an amazing dancer," Hannah said, moving a hand to stroke the side of my face as I nuzzled her palm softly.

“No, it’s not that. I did get asked out, but I don’t know by whom.” I admitted once more, letting out a small laugh at her gasp.

“You got asked out anonymously? What a twat!” She exclaimed, her hand holding mine tighter as I let out a giggle.

“It’s fine, Han. If I had to place it on someone, it would be Riddle. I don’t know how much more he can make it obvious that he likes me, especially since he slid his hand up my dress Thursday.” I shrugged, getting up from my bed to grab some underwear to slip into.

“That git…I swear if I see him tonight, I’m going to hex him. I don’t care if it costs me my prefect title, what he did was awful and I can’t believe the professors or headmaster aren’t doing anything about it!” She mumbled, falling on my bed like I had done a few moments ago.

“It wasn’t an open party, hon. If the professors knew, we’d all be in detention right now.” I laughed, shimmying on a pair of black underwear. “Do I wear a bra? My dress doesn’t have sleeves, but I feel like I’d need the support,” I asked, turning back to Hannah as I tossed my towel on my trunk.

“Just wear a bandeau. You’ll get the support, but no straps”

“Right,” I muttered, grabbing a nude one out of the dresser and slipping it over my head, adjusting my breasts so they sat right in the bra before I sat on Hannah’s bed. “Doll me up; do your worst,” I smirked, watching her face light up as she sprang from my bed, giggling as she made her way over to me.

An hour and a half later, I couldn’t recognise myself once more, but in the best way possible. Hannah had truly worked her magic. My hair was curled, a few pieces pinned back with a white carnation pin, and tickled my bare back. My makeup was perfect. Blemishes and imperfections covered once again, a pale blush scattered across my cheeks. She had done a shimmery eyeshadow over my lids once again, and a dainty line of dark eyeshadow to mimic eyeliner, but she had buffed a dark brown under my eyes, topped off with filling my brows and a luscious layer of mascara to make my eyes pop.

“You look more beautiful than ever, (Y/n),” Hannah smiled softly at me, kissing my cheek softly as I beamed up at her. If this was the wizarding equivalent of a muggle prom, I felt like the prom queen, even without my dress on.

“Thank you Han, now go get your man,” I winked at her, shooing her away as she laughed, picking up the bottom of her once again dark red dress, the layers falling behind her as she made her way out of the dorm. Smiling, I could finally feel the excitement creeping up on me as I looked at my dress hanging on the side of my wardrobe. I reached out, feeling the tulle between my fingers before I got up, taking it off its hanger and slipping into it. It was a beautiful daffodil color, a sweetheart neckline that had flowing layers that ended at my heel, with an intricate floral lace on the bodice that trickled down onto the skirt. Spinning around, I enjoyed the way it ballooned out before falling against my legs once again. It was like a princess dress, in my eyes. Hearing the 7 o’clock bell ring out, I grabbed a pair of teardrop pearls and put them on, then a matching necklace before slipping into the nude flats I had gotten in Hogsmeade earlier in the semester before leaving.

I could hear the music being played from inside the Great Hall, and all of a sudden, I was swarmed with anxiety. I’d be entering alone, the music was so loud, what if Mattheo was there? I struggled to find my breath, placing a hand over my chest to try and even out my breathing as I sat on the stone steps outside the entrance to the hall. I could see my friends inside, watching as they danced and laughed together, while I was holding myself together with pieces of tape. Feeling beautiful moments before didn’t help me, and I struggled to not let any unwanted thoughts in my brain, but they came crashing down anyways. Was I not good enough? Was it because of how big I was? Was I just some checkbox for the boys here to flick with their quill; to try and get into my pants to say they fucked the fat girl? Was I even pretty enough? Were my friends just my friends because they pitied me and couldn’t dump me after the first year?

The thoughts swirled in my brain, and tears brimmed at my waterline as I curled into myself, clutching my head as I rocked back and forth, a pitiful attempt to try and calm myself down before I fully broke down. I didn’t notice Mattheo standing above me until it was too late.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing out here all alone?” He asked, sitting down next to me as I bit my lip, his presence making my anxiety worse.

“Go away Mattheo; I don’t want to see you,” I quivered, turning my body away from his as I rubbed my arms, the feeling of his hands on me from Thursday ghosting over my skin, even though he wasn’t touching me now.

“I wanted to apologize, (Y/n). It was wrong of me to force myself on you, and I deeply regret my actions. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, badger,” he spoke, his words whispers on my ears. “But I did mean it when I called you pretty all those times; I truly think you’re one of the prettiest girls at this school, if not the most,” he continued, and I brought my watery gaze to his, already finding his eyes on me. “Please, if not your forgiveness, can I at least ask a dance of you? And perhaps a drink, too?” He pleaded with me, sincerity glazing over his eyes for a moment, and I nodded, not finding the words to speak as he offered me a hand, pulling me up from the steps as I sniffled, rubbing gently at my undereye to not smear the makeup. “Thank you, darling. Now, shall we?” He asked, extending his arm to me, and I slowly linked with him, guiding me through the grand oak doors and down the steps. I could see my friends turn to the late entrance, their focus on me and the man who had me wrapped around his arm. I could see Draco in the back, standing by Pansy and Theo, a faint blush on his cheeks, but a scowl on his face as he saw who I was with. If a grand entrance was what I was hoping for, this was the closest thing to it.

I could feel my dress swooshing behind me and the magic in the air as Mattheo guided me to the dance floor, spinning me gently to face him before he rested a gentle hand on my hip, his firm fingers digging into the fat of my hips before he took my other hand and started dancing. I followed his movements, swaying to the beat of the slow song as other pairs started dancing around us. Looking up, I could see the candles had stayed, floating in the air but accompanied by little stars and constellations. The whole room was magical, quite literally and aesthetically. It was like we were planted in the middle of the woods, looking at the starry sky. Flowers and vines crawled across the floor and walls, an echo of a creek played behind the classical music, and it smelled like fresh rain, along with the cologne Mattheo had put on. I hadn’t realized I was resting my head on his chest until the song ended, and I stepped away with a blush.

“Sorry,” I murmured, hearing him chuckle.

“It’s okay, (Y/n). Why don’t you go mingle with your friends, and I’ll find us something to drink. I did promise a drink, afterall,” he said, shooing me away with a soft smile, and I glanced back while making my way over to Hermione, seeing Mattheo still standing there, a wonderstruck look on his face before he turned to the assortment of drinks and goods by the stairs.

“You danced with Mattheo!” Hemione said, grasping my shoulders as she shook me, a confused look on her face as Cedric and Cho stood there, interlocked in each other’s arms, the same look of confusion on their faces.

“He asked me to dance, and he also apologized. I agreed; I didn’t want to make him feel bad, ‘Mione,” I stated, stepping back as I shrugged.

“Did you accept his apology? After what he did to you?” Cedric spoke up after a moment, his brows furrowing and I shook my head.

“No, at least not verbally. He apologized, and then said ‘if not your forgiveness, at least a dance and a drink after,’ if I recall properly,” I said, sitting at the empty table behind us, seeing Draco make his way over.

“(Y/n), Sherry, right?” Mattheo said, turning my attention back to the curly-haired male. Nodding, I accepted the glass from him with a smile.

“Thank you, Mattheo.”

“No worries. I’ll be right back; they’re refilling the firewhiskey as we speak, so I’m going to go grab a glass for myself,” he responded, sending me a wink before disappearing into the crowd once again.

“He tries to be all goody and nice, I can’t believe the audacity of that man,” Hannah said, scaring me as I whipped around.

“Han! When did you get here?” I asked, bringing the bubbly drink up to my lips, taking a sip. It burned more than normal, and an overwhelming sensation flooded my system, making my head spin as I took another sip, thinking I was just parched.

“When Riddle was giving googly eyes at you,” she rolled her eyes, resting her elbows on the table as she scanned me over. “You don’t look too good, (Y/n). Are you okay?” She asked, reaching over the table to feel my forehead. “Merlin, you’re burning up!”

“I-I’m fine, I swear. It must be the mix of alcohol and dancing. I’ll be alright, Han,” I said, my words slurring together as I felt my face flush again.

“I don’t think it’s that,” Draco’s voice called from behind me, and I turned around again, my vision blurring from the too-sudden movement.

“Dra-Draco.” I greeted, biting my lower lip as I looked up at him, my vision dancing with stars as I tried to focus on him. I heard the chair next to me scrape back, and I could hear Mattheo’s voice. It was muffled though, as if I was underwater.

“I think…I think I’m going to go get some air outside, guys. I’ll be right back,” I mumbled, swaying as I got up from the seat, gripping onto Draco’s bicep as I steadied myself for a moment before making my way outside.

“Too much alcohol for her? I mixed it with the lemon-lime soda she likes,” Mattheo commented, watching as I ascended the staircase and out of everyone’s view.

“Hm…I don’t think it’s that, Riddle. She’s handed much more alcohol than that before,” Cedric chimed in, sending a glare at Mattheo, who threw his hands up in defense.

“I didn’t do anything, I swear. You can ask Ginny; she was at the refreshments with me,” he said, his eyes widening before a loud cough echoed through the speakers.

“Excuse me, students,” McGonagall’s voice spoke through the mic. “It has come to my attention that while we do allow alcoholic beverages here during the yule ball, one of the punch bowls was tainted with. It didn’t seem like too many students took a cup of it, but if you or one of your friends had a cup of Sherry and ingested it, please report to Madame Pomfrey immediately. We do not know what was put in the bowl, but it is urgent that whoever needs it, seeks the antidote right away,” McGonagall finished, and murmurs floated throughout the crowd.

“Oh, fuck,” Mattheo whispered, running a hand through his curls as he leaned back, panic on his face.

“Where’s Draco? Did he have some of the Sherry too?” Hannah asked, glancing over the group. She didn’t know that once Sherry was mentioned by McGonagall, he took off, looking for your whereabouts.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

I don’t know how, but I had found myself in the dungeons, taking solace in its chilly temperature as my body burned. The Sherry tonight was much more potent than usual, and I wanted more after I cooled off. Running my hands along the cool stone walls, my mind flooded with thoughts of Draco. How nice he had been to me, walking me back to my dorm the other night, how lovely his hair always looked. I imagined his lips on mine; how they would feel as his fingers wove into my hair as he peppered my neck with kisses. A small whimper escaped my throat from the thought, and I used the wall to hold myself up, my knees growing weak from the flooding of indecent thoughts about the boy I had known since I was twelve.

“Fuck..” I muttered, sliding against the wall onto the floor, my breath coming out in small pants. Placing my hand over my heart, I could feel it beating a million miles an hour, and my brain was so foggy. The thoughts flooded my mind, and a burning sensation lit in my abdomen, only fueling my thoughts about Draco. What would he be like in bed? Would he treat me good? Does he know what he’s doing, unlike me? Godric, I was horny for this man. I could feel it in my panties, the way they were sticking to me was a sign, but I couldn’t do anything about it, not with this dress on at least.

“Fuck, (Y/n), you feel so good,” his voice echoed in my brain as I tried to steady myself against the wall, a rush of slick pooling in my panties as I let out a choked sob. I could feel the fabric of my bra and bodice brush against my breasts, the friction burning in the most pleasurable way possible. If I didn’t get out of here soon, someone would see me in this pathetic, alcohol-induced state of horniness.

“Be a good girl for me, yeah darling? That’s it,” the voice continued in my head as I staggered along the wall, my shoes scuffing along the floor as I slowly made my way down the hall, my chest heaving with every breath as sweat started to bead on my hairline.

“(Y/n)? Merlin, there you are,” I heard Draco hall from me, and I cursed silently under my breath as I heard him start to run up to me.

“N-No..Draco, don’t come any closer,” I whispered, trying not to let a choked moan escape my throat, the heat between my thighs burning with every step I took. I held out a wavering hand in front of me, a fruitless effort to get him to stop, to leave me alone so there wasn’t another reason to be embarrassed. Feeling his hands on my shoulders, a loud moan ripped from my throat as I collapsed against him, my brain too foggy to care anymore as his hands sent electricity down my spine.

“We..We need to get you to Madame Pomfrey, right now,” Draco said, ignoring the blush on his cheeks and the way his pants tightened from the moan I had let out. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, helping me steady myself, the blush on my cheeks darker than ever as I gripped the sleeve of his suit, cursing how I wished how I knew he looked under it.

“N..No…I can’t let anyone see me like this!” I exclaimed with all my strength, looking up at him with watery eyes, hoping he could see my plea behind them. After a moment, he sighed and shook his head.

“Fine. I’ll bring you to my dorm, then I’ll get Madame Pomfrey to come see you,” Draco guided you to the Slytherin door, whispering “Pure-Blood.” I watched as the serpent decoration moved, revealing the door to the common room. I let Draco guide me to his room, goosebumps littering my skin as his grip on me tightened. We soon entered his room, and he guided me to his bed. I let out a soft whimper as his hands left my bare skin, letting me sit down on the bed. I relaxed into the soft bedding, only to feel Draco gently brush up the material of my gown, his hands grasping one of my ankles softly.

“Draco..” I whimpered, feeling his slender fingers slide down, slipping my shoe off and placing it by the foot of his bed, repeating the process for the other one.

“It’s gonna be okay, (Y/n),” he whispered, getting up from his crouched position to brush a stray curl behind my ears before he traced a finger along my jawline, sending another jolt of electricity down my spine. “I’m going to go get Madame Pomfrey; stay here, please,” he said, locking his eyes with mine as I nodded, my lips parting slightly. I saw his gaze graze over them, licking his own before he turned and walked out of the room, shutting the door gently. I could hear the echoes of his shoes running down the hall, clicking until he was too far. I let myself fall back on the bed, resting my hand over my eye. I was so confused, the alcohol wasn’t helping my confusion, and I was so fucking horny. Everything stacked on top of each other wasn’t making sense, with Draco, the ball. The only thing I could do was sigh, making the dress shift on me once more, another soft moan leaving my lips.

After a bit, Draco returned, but without Madame Pomfrey. I noticed the shirt in his hands, and a pink blush on his pale cheeks.

“Ma-Madame Pomfrey? Where is she?” I asked, adjusting myself so I could sit on the bed, clenching my thighs as I felt another rush of slick come out of me. I swear my brain was being fried, with how hot I was at this point.

“She’s…she’s occupied, with other students right now,” he coughed, turning his head away as he tossed me the shirt in his hands. “I went to your room too, by the way. Figured you’d want something better to change into while we figure out what to do.”

“Oh, thank you,” I murmured, feeling the soft fabric beneath my fingers. It was an old shirt I had stolen from my dad years ago, I forgot I even owned it. Where Draco found it is beyond me. “You said she’s occupied with other students? Did something happen at the ball?” I asked, reaching around to fiddle with the dress’s zipper, feeling it slide beneath my fingers as I grunted from the loss. “Can you help me?”

“Er, yes,” Draco whispered. His actions were concerning me, to the point where they were fighting against the horniness my brain was screaming release from. “Somebody spiked the Sherry at the ball…she’s trying to help the few other students recover from it,” He mumbled, dragging his fingers along my shoulders, and I couldn’t help but shudder from his ministrations. Hearing the zipper fall, I couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief, the dress constricting more than what I thought, and it felt like I had just taken the first actual breath of air in hours.

“Thank you,” I got up off the bed, shimmying out of the dress as it pooled around my feet. The cool air of his room hit the wetness in my panties, and I let out a small whimper, pulling the oversized shirt over my head. I missed the way Draco’s eyes glazed over me, his eyes stopping at my underwear and his eyes locking in on how dark they had become, and the slick that had dripped onto my thighs, glimmering in the low light. “What…what do we do about…” I asked, shyly gesturing a hand to me as I met his eyes. There was no way I could leave his room, looking like this, but Madame Pomfrey was busy, and it could be hours before she could come here.

“I…er…” Draco coughed, his head turning away from me with a dark blush, sending another bolt of electricity down my spine. I bit my lip to stifle the moan threatening to spill from my lips as I waited for him to continue. “She…she said we could wait, or…” He trailed off again, and I noticed he was fidgeting with his hands. I could only watch as he gathered the strength to say what he was trying to say. “Or we could. Um. They figured out what the potion was. It was a lust potion, and well, the obvious answer is to fuck it out of the person, or wait for it to run its course, which could be hours or even days, depending on how potent it was. Professor Snape and McGonagall are working on an antidote right now,” he rushed out, his hands moving to the front of his trousers, trying to hide the obvious erection he had at the moment. It took a moment for the words to sink into my skin, and another bright blush coated my face, burning so hard I could feel it on my ears.

“O-Oh.” Was all I could squeak out, my hands trembling at my sides as I sat back down on the bed, trying my hardest to ignore the friction the sheets provided against my mostly bare ass.

“I…I could help you,” Draco said, and my head shot up, his light grey eyes locking with my eyes. “I don’t want to see you in pain, (Y/n),” he spoke again, taking a few strides to stand in front of me, and his hand was on the side of my face. If possible, my blush grew hotter as I watched him, feeling his thumb stroke the side of my face gently and I let out a small pant. I felt like a dog in heat, and as much as I wanted to get rid of this potion in my bloodstream, how could I let Draco do this? We’d barely been friends for the term, and now he was offering to help me with this problem?

“Draco- I…I don’t know. We’ve barely been friends for the term; I don’t understand at all,” I started to confess, and the words just kept tumbling out. “You were so mean to me up until this year, and now you’re standing up for me against Riddle, your best friend. You’re walking me to classes and being nice to me, bloody hell, you aren’t sneering at me in potions for doing all the work, even offering to do the paper we have due,” and then it hit me. I had smelt Draco in the Amortentia potion. How could I have not noticed until now? His fragrance hit me again, apples, sandalwood, and peppermint filling my senses once more as he leaned down between my parted thighs, and tears pricked at my waterline again. “Fuck, I’m so stupid,” I mumbled, wiping away at the tears that threatened to spill as his large hands moved to my thighs, continuing to rub them in small, gentle circles.

“You aren’t stupid, (Y/n). If anyone is stupid, I am. I was mean to you because I didn’t know how to process the feelings I had for you when I was younger. Fuck, I still don’t know how. I didn’t want to hurt you anymore this year; I made that decision over the summer while studying potions. I had recreated the Amortentia potion to practice for the NEWTs as well, and I had smelled you; the smell of honeysuckle in your conditioner, the ever-staying smell of vanilla from the Hufflepuff dorms, even the scent of marshmallows,” Draco said, his eyes locking with mine as a hand moved back to my face, gripping it gently. “I realized I was in love with you, (Y/n). I love you a lot more than my pitiful heart can process, and I never want to hurt you again. I regret my actions from the past, more than I can convey, and I want to make it up to you from here on out. I don’t want to take advantage of you, so if you don’t want to, just say the word. I just want to help you,” his words turned quiet as he finished, and there was a twinge in my heart, hearing him say he was in love with me. A few moments passed, letting the quiet around us settle back in before I nodded, grasping his hand that was on my thigh.

“I want you to help me, please,” I said, my heart beating faster with every word I said. I didn’t even realize it sounded like I was begging until after, but I pushed the thought away as he stood up in front of me, a soft smile on his face as he stripped his suit jacket, tossing it across the chair by his desk.

“I’ll help you as best I can, (Y/n). Just lay back for me now,” he whispered, and I obeyed, leaning back on the soft sheets as he settled between my thighs, pushing them a bit farther open as he leaned in over my face. “Is it okay if I kiss you?” He asked, a hand resting against my cheek as I nodded, and that’s all it took for his lips to be on mine. It felt like a million fireworks had gone off in my body as he moved his lips gently against mine, unspoken words behind every movement. Reaching up, I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing him closer as I kissed him with more fevor. Feeling him shift, I could feel his hips grind against my clothed pussy, eliciting a loud moan from my throat as I pulled away, resting my forehead against his as he let out a soft chuckle.

“You’re so pretty, (Y/n),” he whispered against my lips before kissing me once there, then moving down to my jaw, then neck, leaving wet, opened mouth kisses along the tender skin. Whimpering, I released my arms from around his neck, letting him continue his ministrations, until he was met with the collar of my shirt. “Can I take this off, love?” He asked gently, watching as I nodded, trying to catch my breath. I could feel his cool fingers sliding under my shirt, another whimper leaving me as his hands bunched up the fabric before bringing it off my arms and over my head. “Godric, you’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured, kissing along my collarbone, nipping at a few spots, making me mewl.

“Draco, please,” I moaned, feeling one of his hands come up to cup my breast, kneading it softly through the thin material of my bra. His thumb grazed over my perked nipple, obvious through the fabric before he dipped down, licking over it, a strangled moan escaping me. “Merlin, that feels good,” I managed to get out before he stood back, wiping a hand over his wet mouth.

“Take off your bra,” he demanded, no harshness behind his voice as he started to unbutton his dress shirt, and I complied, digging my fingers under the band as I lifted it over my head, feeling my breasts jiggle as they came back down. Draco’s eyes never left my chest as he finished with his shirt, throwing it off into the room somewhere as he kicked off his shoes before he sat down on the bed. “Come here,” he said, grabbing my hips as he lifted me onto his lap, a soft squeal coming from me as I sat down, feeling his dick poke into my wet panties.

“O-Oh,” I moaned out before his lips crashed back down on mine, his hands sliding down my hips to grab my ass, making me moan before he started grinding me down on him. His fingers dug into the fat of my ass, dragging me across his clothed cock as a moan escaped both of us, my head falling onto his shoulder as he continued the action, low groans flowing into my ear.

“I want you so bad, (Y/n), please,” he begged into my ear, and I nodded into the crevice of his neck, nipping at it gently as I felt his hand slip under me, his slender fingers dragging along my soaked panties. “Fuck, you’re so wet,” he commented, digging his finger between my folds, enjoying the wetness that collected on his fingers before he drew small circles around my clit, a high pitched moan leaving my lips as my hips buckled into his hand, desprate for more friction.

“Draco, please,” I moaned into his ear, grasping his wrist, bringing it closer to my core. Understanding what I wanted, he moved my underwear to the side, dragging a finger along my wet folds before slowly inserting it into me, another moan rippling through me as he pumped it in and out of me, the wet squelching noises lost between my moans. “F-Fuck, it feels-” I shuddered out, tossing my head back before his lips attached to the sensitive spot beneath my ear, nipping at it as he slid another finger in with ease, curling them up into the spot inside me that had me seeing stars. “Draco!” I gasped out, feeling him abuse the gummy spot as I rutted my hips against his hand, his palm catching on my clit. His other hand continued to knead my ass, spurring me closer and closer to the edge. “I-I’m close,” I whimpered out, threading my fingers into his hair and giving a sharp tug right as his fingers pushed me over the edge, my vision spotting as I came on his fingers with a broken moan of his name. Stilling his motions, he left his fingers inside me, using his other hand to grab my chin, smashing his lips on mine. Kissing me, he slipped his fingers out of me, making me whimper at the loss before he flipped us over so he was on top, his lips never leaving mine as he pulled his pants down, taking his underwear with it. I could feel the tip of his cock hit my stomach, and I reached down, grasping it in my hand before I gave him a small pump, a shaky moan leaving his lips.

“Don’t,” Draco murmured against my lips, bringing one of his hands down to stop my hand, and I looked at him with teary eyes.

“I wanna-I wanna make you feel good too, Dray,” I whispered, watching him shake his head in protest.

“No, you come first,” he said against my lips, pulling my hand back up before he tapped my hips. Lifting them, I felt his fingers slide under the band of my panties before slowly taking them off, shuffling a bit so he could take them off my legs. They got thrown over his shoulder somewhere, landing on the floor before his lips landed back on mine. Running his tongue over my lip, I parted them, allowing his tongue to enter, entangling with mine as he gripped my hips, dragging me to the edge of the bed. “Fuck, I know I’m supposed to be helping you, but I want you so bad (Y/n). I can’t wait to feel you,” Draco whispered against my lips, grasping his cock with one hand, dipping it in the slick on my pussy. The action sent a shudder through my body, followed by a moan as he gently pushed in, the fat tip of his cock stretching me farther than I thought it would. Pushing a hand against his chest, I let out some soft pants, feeling the pain melt into pleasure.

“Dray, I’m..I’ve never done this before,” I admitted, watching as he nodded.

“I’ll take care of you, don’t worry,” was all he said before he slowly pushed into me, a guttural moan leaving my lips. Everything burned with desire; Draco was making shallow thrusts, his hands gripping my hips tightly, as though he’d lose me in this act. Shifting my hips a bit, his shallow thrusts hit the same spot that made me see stars with his fingers, and I moaned, biting my lip as I kept moving them in sync with his thrusts.

“More, I need more,” I begged, gripping onto his biceps. I’m sure I left little crescent marks in them from my nails, but that was the least of my worried as Draco started going faster; his shallow thrusts started turning into longer ones, his cock almost leaving my pussy entirely before it would slam back it, making me moan over and over. All of a sudden, it felt like a too tight coil was placed inside me, threatening to snap with each of his thrusts, and my whimpers came out broken, shifting my legs further apart so he could be closer to me. “Dr-Draco!” I let out a loud moan, the coil inside me snapping as my vision saw stars again, and I could make out the grunts coming from him above me, his dick shuddering inside me as my walls clamped around him.

“Fuck, (Y/n), you feel so good,” Draco leaned down, capturing my lips in another kiss as I felt him shudder above, his hips stilling for a moment until it felt hot inside me. He came inside me, and he seemed to realize that as he pulled out slowly, a whimper left me from the sensitivity. “Shit, I didn’t mean to-” He stammered, a hand on his creamy cock as I sat up, my brain feeling less fuzzy than before.

“S’okay, Dray,” I murmured, looking up at him through my lashes. “I’m on the pill; I’ll be okay,” I said with a soft smile, a hand running over his abs, enjoying how they felt under my fingertips.

“Fuck, every word that comes out of your mouth just gets hotter, princess,” he chuckled, making my clench my thighs from the pet name. It didn’t go unnoticed by Draco though, who just let out another chuckle. “You like that, don’t you princess?” He purred, grasping my chin to make me look at him. I could only nod, seeing a smirk come across his face. “Good, because I’m far from done with you. Need to make sure every drop of that potion is fucked out of that little brain of yours, darling,” he said before grasping my thighs and flipping me over, my ass in the air for him to see. His hand met the squishy fat, and a sharp slap echoed through the room, making me moan from the contact. “You’re such a dirty girl, (Y/n). Even though you just got fucked for the first time, I can see you want more,” Draco murmured, and I could feel his hot breath against my pussy, making me shudder.

“Draco, not there, it’s…it’s gross,” I said, a blush coming across my cheeks as I turned around, only seeing his bare shoulders and his platinum hair behind my ass.

“Oh, love, I want to though,” was all he said before licking a stripe up my lips, a strangled moan coming out of me as his tongue dipped into my pussy, sucking and licking everywhere until my legs were shaking and I had come again from his tongue. I was so sensitive, and I could feel myself clenching around nothing, and a soft laugh sent vibrations through me, goosebumps littering my skin as Draco removed his face from my pussy, all evidence of his cum and mine gone, only leaving his saliva and new waves of slick on me.

“It’s going to be a long night, princess, I hope you’re ready,” Draco said, shifting behind me as he gripped my hips before filling me up with one long and hard thrust, sending me forwards onto his bed.

Oh Merlin.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

I woke up to sunlight streaming on the bed, warming my thighs, and for a moment, I couldn’t remember where I was. All I cared about was cuddling back into Draco’s chest, ignoring the world around us.

Wait.

Draco.

I was in his bed, in a t-shirt and no underwear.

Sitting up, I ran a hand through my hair, untangling the knots that had formed, and my back ached. Looking around, I saw Draco asleep, right next to where I just was. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and from the looks of it, only boxers, which made my cheeks light up as I hid my face in my hands. Memories of last night came flooding into my brain; the Sherry being spiked with a lust potion, Draco finding me by the Slytherin commons, him offering to help me because he didn’t want to see me in pain, and mostly, him fucking me brainless on almost every surface in his room. His bed, his desk, against his dresser. I don’t remember if there was a spot where his dick wasn’t inside me. Feeling him shift next to me, I looked down to see his grey eyes looking at me, messy hair covering his forehead, and I felt my heart flutter a bit.

“G’morning, love,” he said, his voice husky with sleep as he sat up next to me, a soft smile coming to both our faces. “Did you sleep alright?”

“Ah, yes, I did. Um…thank you, Draco,” I said, peeling my eyes away from his as I looked at my lap, clutching my hands together. It was probably a one night stand; he probably pitied how pathetic I was last night, and wanted to get some points with Crabbe and Goyle. The thought brought tears to my eyes, and I sniffled a bit, remembering how I smelled him in the Amortentia. There was no doubt that I liked him, but he probably didn’t like me back, so what was the point in staying around? Shifting, I let my legs dangle over the edge of the bed before I pushed myself up, my knees buckling underneath me and in one swift motion, Draco was by the edge of the bed, holding me up by my hips.

“Where are you going?” He asked, his voice soft.

I gulped, unsure of if I should tell him the truth. “I…I’m leaving. You can tell Crabbe and Goyle you bedded me, and get the bet money. I can be another checkmark on your list of boxes, I just can’t be here anymore,” I whispered out, my voice cracking as I tried to ignore the way his hands gripped my hips tighter as I spoke.

“Bet money? (Y/n), what are you talking about, love?”

“I-I know you were just trying to help me, but I know I’m just another game to you. Fuck the fat girl, get the money. I know how it goes, Draco,” I spoke, my voice quivering as I fought back the tears that threatened to fall as I looked at him. He looked...heartbroken, and confused, which only fueled my confusion as his mouth opened to talk.

“(Y/n), darling. There was no bet, for Merlin’s sake. I helped you because I wanted to, not because you were a box for me to check off. I love you, have I not made that clear enough?” He asked, guiding me back onto the bed and onto his lap, wrapping his arms around my waist.

“I..I thought you didn’t mean it last night. Godric’s sake, look at me Draco. I’m nothing like Pansy, or Hermione, or Cho, or any of the other girls here. You could have so much better than…than me,” I said quietly, the tears finally falling. I knew my worth, and in comparison to the other girls here, I was close to the bottom of the list, if not at the very bottom.

“(Y/n), look at me, please,” Draco asked, placing a hand on my jaw, his thumb rubbing small circles on my cheek as he guided me to look at him. I could see the hurt in his eyes, and the frown that was on his face. “Yes, those other girls are pretty, but they hold no light next to you. You are the brightest light in my life, the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. You’re so smart, witty, hardworking, I could go on and on for hours about the things I love about you. You are all I’ve ever wanted, and more. If anything, I don’t deserve you,” he spoke, and I could hear the sincerity lacing every one of his words as he wiped the tears from my face. “I meant it when I said I loved you. I love you more than words could ever describe, and I’m so glad it was you I smelled in the Amortentia over the summer, and even in class. It hurt my heart to say it wasn’t you I smelled, but I didn’t know what else to do. I don’t know how much more I can say or even do to make you believe I love you, but I will keep trying and saying and doing things until you believe me, love.”

Nodding, a soft smile came back onto my face. “Maybe another kiss will make me believe you,” I whispered, causing Draco to laugh.

“If that’s what it’ll take, then I’ll kiss you til the day I die,” he said before pressing his lips against mine, weaving his hand that was on my jaw into my hair as our lips moved in sync for a few moments. Pulling away, I let out a small giggle, pressing my forehead against his before another thought came into my mind.

“Dray?” I asked, pulling away a bit to see his face.

“Yes, love?”

“Does this mean..we’re like..together?”

“Is it not obvious?”

“Well, you never asked me, so…”

“Merlin, (Y/n). You’re going to be the death of me,” he laughed, grasping my hand as his other one untangled itself from my hair, going back to its place on my jaw. “Will you be my girlfriend, (Y/n) (L/n), the most beautiful Hufflepuff and woman to ever walk the face of this earth,” he asked, making me laugh.

“I thought you’d never ask,” I said, smiling as I leaned in for another kiss before pulling away again, making Draco groan. “You still have to do the essay today, love,” I reminded him, a cheeky smile coming to my face as I saw him roll his eyes before he leaned back down, taking me with him with a squeal.

“Let me have this moment with my girlfriend, (Y/n). Then we can talk academics.”

#draco x reader #draco x you #draco malfoy #draco lucius malfoy #draco fanfiction #draco x y/n #harry potter #x reader #fanfiction #hogwarts #x hufflepuff reader #x chubby reader #writing #romance #angst #happy ending #bee’s writing #masterlist

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lucy90712 · 2 years

Note

Pedri makes reader feel bad after implying all she wants is his money

wc: 1700+

For most of the afternoon I have been cleaning the house and getting things set up as my boyfriend Pedri is having his teammates over for the evening and I don't want the place to look a mess. Pedri and I have been together for coming up to 4 years which is crazy to think about as it feels like just yesterday that I made the at the time crazy decision to move to Barcelona with Pedri so that we could stay together. From that day our relationship has only gotten stronger to the point that I can't even imagine what my life would have been like if I chose not to move here. I truly love Pedri so much he has been with me through everything and we have both supported each other through everything life has thrown our way.

Its not often that Pedri invites so many of his teammates around but I encouraged him to do it as the team has been doing so well and working so hard that I thought it would be nice for them to get together and have some fun. After suggesting it I told Pedri that I would make other plans for the evening to get out of the way so that they could have a proper boys evening but he insisted that I stay. That is the reason I've been preparing things for most of the afternoon because although I know none of them would really care I wanted to have snacks and drinks ready as thats what I would do with my friends.

Just as I finished with the last of the snacks the front door opened and Pedri came in with Gavi as he can't drive so Pedri offered to just drive him straight here. Gavi greeted me with a simple hello and a smile and Pedri came over to give me a kiss which made Gavi make gagging noises which made Pedri flip him off. The 3 of us all sat down and started talking until others started to arrive a bit later. Pedri had invited pretty much the entire team which meant there was a lot of people suddenly in our living room so people were sitting on the floor and everyone else was squished onto the sofa. To make things more comfortable Pedri allowed me to sit on his lap which we do all the time but never in front of anyone else so I felt a bit awkward to start with until Pedri grabbed my hand and rubbed it with his thumb to calm me down.

Once everyone had arrived and settled in we were having so much fun everyone was talking and laughing which made me really happy as I love to see the team getting along so well. I didn't really say much but I was happy to just sit and listen to everyone because I'm not the most outgoing person so just being present in the conversation was fine by me. Everyone seemed to be liking the snacks I'd made too which made me happy as I spent quite a while on them and tried to make things that were healthy but also tasted good.

"These are so good" Gavi said eating one of the things I made

"Yeah everything is really nice thanks y/n" Ferran added

"These must have taken you ages" Gavi said

"I bet you spent a lot of my money on them too" Pedri said

Everyone kind of gave him a look once he said that but I tried to brush it off as just a joke and continue the conversation to not make things awkward. Luckily his comment seemed to have been forgotten at least until he started making more comments about money and implying that I'm only with him for his money which is so far from the truth. It hurt to hear him say those things because I didn't know he thought about me like that or believed that I didn't actually love him. The more things he said the more it was starting to bother me so to avoid crying in front of everyone and ruining the evening I excused myself and went to the bedroom to just be on my own.

When I was finally alone I could no longer stop the tears from falling and once they started they wouldn't stop. It's so hard to believe that Pedri would ever think that I'm only with him for his money I mean we have been together since before he was so successful and I took a big risk to come to Barcelona with him all because I loved him. Pedri does of course make more money than me but I still work hard I'm in my last year of university and have a job which takes up most of my time outside of studying. All the money I earn goes towards either paying for bills or things I need for university but I never take Pedri's money unless he specifically allows me to. Sometimes when we need food he will give me his card to use but I always make sure to find the best deals and then give it back to him right after I get back.

Pedri is often spoiling me with gifts but I always tell him not to because I don't need any of those things not that I don't appreciate them but I don't need him to spend his money on me to be happy. When he does get me something I will always try to take up extra shifts and get something for him but of course it isn't worth as much because I simply can't afford it but I always try. For birthdays and other holidays I try and get him gifts that have a meaning and show how I feel about him and I can't believe he would just forget about all of that and act like I don't care about him at all.

Pedri's POV

"Dude whats up with you tonight?" Gavi asked

"What do you mean nothings wrong" I said

"The things you're saying about y/n are you guys in a fight or something" he questioned further

"No we are fine" I replied

"Well I don't think everything's fine you can't just pretty much say that she is us using you for money and say everything is fine" Ferran pointed out

"I'm just joking I don't actually think that" I said

"You might want to tell y/n that I can't imagine it feels good to hear you say those things" Gavi said

Oh no what have I done. I was just joking around as people always seem to think that y/n is with me for the money even though I know she isn't so I wanted to make a joke out of it. Thinking about it again it probably wasn't the best joke to make as I know she sees what people say and tries her best to show me that she isn't with me for the money. The more I thought about it the worse I felt as I know she works really hard and has never once taken advantage of the fact that I earn quite a lot in fact it's always my decision to spend money to get her nice things like she deserves.

When y/n left the room I didn't think much of it but now that she's been gone for a while I can't help but feel like I've really upset her. As much as I want to go and find her and apologise for everything I said I can't because there is other people here and she probably wants some time away from me. While sat with everyone else I wasn't at all engaged with the conversation as all I was thinking about was y/n and how I must have made her feel.

Your POV

From my spot on the bed I heard the front door shut and then silence which I knew meant everyone had left. Despite that I still didn't move as I didn't want to see Pedri just yet because I've only just stopped crying and I know I look a mess. When the bedroom door opened and Pedri walked in I quickly hid my face so that he wouldn't see my red eyes and may just completely ignore me but of course he didn't. He came and sat down next to me and put an arm around my waist to pull me into his side. I still didn't move but he stayed next to me and tried to get me to move the pillow that was in front of my face. Eventually he succeeded and I looked at him for a second before going to look away again but he stopped me by putting his hands on my cheeks which made me look at him. We looked at each other for moment before his mouth opened and he clearly started to think about what to say.

"I'm really sorry for what I said earlier" he apologised

"Do you really believe that I'm like that?" I asked

"Of course not I don't know why I said it I was just joking because I know people say those things about you but I wasn't thinking about how it might come across" he explained

"I promise I'd never use you for your money I really do love you as soon as I finish uni and get a better job I'll contribute more to everything I just can't afford to right now" I started to ramble even though Pedri already told me he was joking

"Its ok I know that you love me and I don't need you to contribute anymore you do enough for me in other ways I promise you that it was a joke and I'll never say anything like that ever again" he said

"Thank you" I said

Only when we finished talking did he take his hands off my face as instead he put one behind my neck to pull me into a kiss and the other went around my waist to move me closer to him. When we both pulled away from the kiss I moved to lay on top of him and he gently ran his hands through my hair and stroked my skin all while telling me how much he loved me which was nice to hear.

#pedri imagine #pedri gonzalez imagines #pedri gonzalez imagine #pedri imagines

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sporco-filth · 2 months

Text

The second part of the story about Lee going from neat freak to slob.

Synopsis: A dramatic change in Lee's life gives him the freedom to be a slob and so Bob proceeds to be his guide to this new world

In the following month, Lee's office was a flurry of activity and the constant stress of work meant he was often too busy to do his usual errands and chores to the same level of astute perfection he had usually maintained. One night, after a long, tiring day at work, he returned home famished. He opened the fridge, the pantry, the cupboards, but all he could find was an apple, a few slices of wholemeal bread and a carrot: hardly anything to make a meal out of. He'd been so caught up at work he'd forgotten to buy more groceries. Looking at the clock, which by now read 10:12PM, he knew he couldn't muster the energy to go shopping and cook now. Either he ate his meagre scraps or…

Just because the house was devoid of his healthy fare didn't mean there wasn't any food around. Bob had his stocks of junk food and he always said Lee was welcome to have any of it if he wanted, not that Lee ever took Bob up on his offer. Lee looked around and stumbled on a frozen pizza. Normally he'd never look twice at something like that, but he was starving and his stomach gurgled in hunger. He heated it up and before long he was tucking into the cheesy, greasy, meaty mess. It was delicious, so much so that he found himself devouring the whole thing. He sat back in his chair, stifling a burp and pardoning himself, he patted his belly. It was ever so slightly distended. He imagined what it might be like if it was so much larger, a real gut, but he knew that although he enjoyed his fantasies, they were just fantasies.

Just then, Bob walked in. He had been out with his mates that evening and stumbled upon Lee rubbing his abdomen in front of an empty plate. "I can see you had a nice meal," he said with a smile and Lee quickly pulled his hand away from his stomach and started to tidy up. "I was just really busy in the office," Lee explained, flustered. "I didn't have time to buy any more groceries; I hope you don't mind if I helped myself to some of your things." "That's all right," Bob replied, not at all fussed. "I'm just glad to see you loosening up a bit. I hoped I'd have a positive influence on you." Lee smiled embarrassedly, face reddening slightly. "It's just this one time, I'll go buy more of my usual food tomorrow." "If you say so." Bob gave him a knowing look, as if he was sure this wouldn't be the last time, but didn't say any more and headed off to his room. Lee washed his plate and put it away. He wondered, what if he did let loose a bit? What would the harm be in that? But the rational part of his mind steered him away from that sort of thought and he prepared himself for bed as meticulously as ever, Bob's comments merely adding to his resolve to maintain his lifestyle in this den of excess and slothfulness.

In the days that followed, Lee returned to his fit, clean and healthy lifestyle with renewed ardour, cleaning and exercising almost twice as much as he usually did. He even went back to making his bed. But things at work were getting more and more stressful and he soon found himself worn out from all the internal and external pressures. "Mr Ngyuen, I'm sure you know that sleeping on the job is not acceptable!" "Wah?!" Lee was jolted awake from his exhaustion-induced daydreaming and saw his boss standing imperiously over him. "I-I'm sorry, sir," he said in a hasty apology. "I didn't mean to I just–" "You were just sleeping," his boss finished, shaking his head. "Listen, Mr Ngyuen, you know how tough business has been in the last few months, right?" Lee nodded slowly, concerned about where this might be heading. "I've heard talk," he said in a nervous voice, "of there being some cuts…" His boss nodded solemnly. "Don't tell the others, though. I don't want any panic. I'm warning you, Mr Ngyuen, because I'm afraid that if you don't manage to lift your game, you might be one of the ones to go." Lee was wide-eyed, he wasn't sure what to say. "B-but I've been working here for years! You can't just fire me! Where would I go? What would I do?" His boss gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm afraid that lately you've become a liability to the company: your past success hasn't translated into future success. There'll be some sort of compensation, of course. We have plans in place for this sort of situation…" Lee stopped paying attention. He couldn't believe this was happening to him.

He went home that night dejected and anxious. He sat down at the kitchen table with his head in his hands, not sure what to do. Just then, Bob entered from his bedroom. He'd never seen Lee, a man who seemed to have everything perfectly in order and under control, in such a state: shirt rumpled, tie loose, hair messed up and bags under his eyes. "What's the matter?" Bob asked, genuinely worried. "You know how I told you there were rumours they were going to lay off some people at work? Well, my boss told me today that I'm… likely…" Lee didn't want to say it aloud. "To be fired?" Lee nodded. "Man, that's tough…" "Yeah," Lee sighed. "They said if I manage to improve my performance they might keep me, but I got the sense the decision was already made." He looked up at Bob. "I'm not sure what to do. There's no one hiring so if I lose this I'll be out of a job for who knows how long. I can't lose my job, I just can't…" Bob watched as he slumped over the table in despair. "Don't worry mate, I'll be happy to help you out as much as you need until you're back on your feet." Lee looked up. "How?" Bob smiled. "I might not look it, but I'm actually pretty well-off." "Really?" "Yeah." "But I never see you work or anything." "And how do you imagine I manage to live like that?" "But where did you get the money? And what's your definition of 'well-off', if you don't mind me asking." "I've accrued it over the years in a variety of ways: property, investments, crazy business schemes, even a bit I managed to score in gambling. I also inherited a fair bit from my relatives. I don't quite keep a close eye on my funds, but it's more than enough for me to enjoy my life as I please." Lee was rather shocked. "You really don't mind helping me out?" "It's nothing, Lee. We're friends now, you and I." Lee was relieved. It was as if all the weight of the world had fallen from his shoulders. "Thank you," he said, smiling at last. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to repay you." "It's nothing," Bob said with a shrug.

Lee tried his hardest at work but nonetheless he received the news he had dreaded. Even if he was prepared for it and had a back-up plan, he couldn't shake the sense of failure that it brought. He entered the apartment and dropped his work stuff in his room. Bob saw him on his way out. "It happened?" Lee was still numb from the shock and could only nod. "Here, sit with me in the lounge and relax, just forget about it." Lee was too rattled to think about his reasons against this and followed Bob to the living room. He sat down in the same armchair as he had during the 'challenge', not even bothering to dust away the detritus that was already on it. The empty wrappers and dropped crumbs crinkled and crunched under his weight. As he began to get into the show on TV, Bob handed him a beer. "Here, it might help take your mind off things." Lee accepted it. He largely abstained from alcohol and had never really gotten drunk before, so wasn't one to drink much, but he felt like now was an occasion that merited a stiff drink. One beer turned into two which was followed by a third and soon Lee found himself forgetting about all the uptight rules that dictated his life. Bob opened a packet of chips which he proffered to Lee and which he accepted. He hadn't eaten in a while and the salty, oily chips looked appetising. He grabbed a handful and munched away; they were delicious. So savoury and crunchy and moreish. Eventually he found his hand touching the bottom of the empty packet and dropped it onto the floor and wiped the grease off on his shirt, not caring about mess in his inebriated state. He took another swig of his beer and let out a sizeable burp. "I'm still kinda hungry," he said. "I'd better get something ready for dinner." "Relax," Bob said. "I'll order us a pizza. If you're worried about your diet stuff, it's only just this once." Lee ceded and went back to watching TV. Relax, he told himself. You can have some fun for once. He glanced down at himself and noticed he was still dressed for work; how could he get relaxed like this? He pulled off his tie and threw it away. Then he unbuttoned his shirt, dusting off the chip crumbs that had accumulated on it, and got rid of it. Finally, he unzipped his pants and kicked them off, leaving himself in only his underwear. He felt so liberated and unrestrained. Bob glanced over. "I see you're getting comfortable." Lee blushed slightly in embarrassment, forgetting he wasn't alone. "It's fine, do you think I mind? I spend most of my time in my underwear, after all." Lee nodded and eventually managed to relax again.

Soon the pizza arrived, the scent of it filling the air and making Lee's stomach growl. Bob had ordered two large pizzas and he tossed one to Lee. He opened it up; it looked like the biggest, unhealthiest, most overindulgent thing he could imagine. "I'm not sure I should, or can, eat all of this," Lee remarked. "Just eat as much as you want," Bob replied. "But from what I can see, you could do with a bit of meat on your bones." Lee looked at his taut stomach with its washboard abs. This was the culmination of years and years of hard work and dedication, but was it really all that worth it? Was it really all he wanted? He looked over to Bob, who was digging into his pizza, and at his belly. It was so round, so soft, so flabby and jiggly. Imagine having a gut like that. It'd be like having a comfy pillow all the time that you can wobble and play with. What are abs good for? Lee looked enviously at Bob's chubby love handles and bum, his soft moobs and thick thighs. He knew he wanted that.

Did he, though? Maybe it was just the beer making his mind foggy. He shook the thoughts from his head and started eating his pizza. He only managed half of it before he was full. Bob offered him another beer and the two watched TV late into the night.

The next morning, Lee woke up in the armchair. He was still only in his undies and surrounded by the remnants of the night before. The TV was still on and Bob was still sleeping away on the couch. He looked at the time on the clock and saw it was after seven. He needed to get to work! Wait… work… Lee remembered the events of yesterday, he was now unemployed. Still, he should get up for his daily run. He tried to get up quickly, but was hit by a wave of pain in his head. He looked down at the coffee table to see a fair amount of beer bottles and wondered how many of them were his. Noticing that there was a similar, albeit larger, pile beside Bob, he concluded they were, likely, all his. This must be what it feels like to get a hangover, he thought. He sighed and caught a whiff of his breath; it stank. He realised he didn't brush his teeth the night before, which meant he hadn't showered either. He took a quick sniff of his armpit and smelt the odour of sweat beginning to develop. I should freshen up, he thought. It'll help me clear my head. But then Lee felt a pang of hunger. He was never the type to do anything before having first eaten breakfast, but he was hardly in the right state of mind to prepare anything. He was out of muesli so would need to make something if he wanted a healthy, filling breakfast. Maybe eggs on toast, but that'd be a lot of messing around with the eggs. Smashed avo? No, they were out of avocado too… Out of the corner if his eye, Lee noticed the leftover pizza from the night before. It was cold, but in his hungover state it still looked pretty appetising, and most importantly it looked filling. Lee grabbed a slice and began munching away. Here I am, he thought. Unemployed, unwashed, hungover, in my undies, surrounded with trash, having woken up on the couch and eating cold pizza from last night for breakfast. Instead of being repulsed by the idea, he felt oddly turned on by it. He had no responsibilities, no one to impress. Perhaps Bob was right, maybe it wouldn't hurt to let himself go a bit. He felt an itch around his groin. Usually he'd be too polite to scratch down there, but in the spirit of his new lifestyle he let himself. It felt good. He grabbed another slice of pizza and picked up the remote, flicking idly through the channels. I think I could get used to this. He kicked his feet up onto the coffee table and got comfy. Really used to this.

A little while later, Bob stirred and woke up from his slumber to see Lee idly watching TV. "Shouldn't you be off on one of your jogs by now?" he asked, glancing at the clock. Lee gave a nervous smile, like a kid excited to dive into the deep end but unsure if it was safe. "I'm thinking I might… maybe, like, let myself go, a little…" Bob wasn't sure he heard that right. "As in, stop exercising and stuff?" Lee nodded. "I think it might be fun…" Bob didn't understand. "But you keep going on about being healthy and fit… I know I said I didn't get it and was hoping you'd come around, but I didn't think it would actually happen." Lee grinned. "Well, I think I've wanted it for a while, I think it's why I decided to move in here, but I couldn't find the courage to actually do it. Losing my job, I'm free now. I can do what I like and just, you know, relax a bit." Bob smiled. "Well then, in that case why don't I take you through the basics of being a slob?" Lee could hardly wait.

"Now," explained Bob, "there are five main food groups–" "Carbohydrates, fruit, dairy, protein and vegetables," Lee proudly recited. "No," said Bob. "At least, not for a slob. They are: fatty, sugary, salty, carbs and meat. Anything else is tasteless fodder and empty vitamins. Now, the rule of thumb is if you want it, eat it. If you really wanted to eat vegetables," he said the word with disgust, "you can, but I don't see why when there's so much other tastier food to eat." Lee nodded. "Next up is hygiene," Bob continued. "Only wash if absolutely necessary. Be proud of your stink. When it comes to cleaning the house, don't. Why bother if it just gets dirty again?" "OK, cool," the thought of being coated in grime and living in a tip titillated Lee. "What else should I know?" "The general rule for everything is if you feel like it, do it, and if you don't, don't. You wanna stay up all night playing video games? Go ahead! Want to eat nothing but doughnuts for a day? Who's stopping you? Can't be bothered exercising? Stay in bed all day." Lee imagined this. A life of utter laziness where he let his desires take control. "This sounds amazing," he breathed in awe. "It's a sweet life," Bob agreed.

That afternoon, while Bob had gone out for a bit, Lee was laid out on the couch in his undies playing video games when his stomach growled. He paused the game and got up to see what was available. Looking through the junk food filled kitchen, he had trouble deciding what to eat; it all looked so tasty. Then he noticed a chocolate cake sitting on the counter. Out of habit, he looked at the clock: five fifteen, too close to dinner for snacking. Then Lee remembered Bob's advice and went with his gut. He plonked himself back down on the couch and began to stuff his face with the rich, sweet cake. He didn't even bother with cutlery, just scooping handful after handful into his mouth. He moaned in delight; it was so delicious. How had he forbidden himself from this for so long? Even when he started to feel full, Lee pressed on, his stomach wanting more and more. Eventually he finished it all. He rubbed his sore stomach which was by now pretty bloated, the chocolate on his fingers smearing over his body. He let out a burp and sighed with contentment. He thought about going back to his game, but the stuffing had made him sleepy so he took a nap instead. He woke up to the sound of the door and was the scent of food which made his stomach start burbling again. Bob had arrived and with him he had brought dinner. "Hey Lee," he called out. "You hungry? I got McDonald's." He went over to the couch to find Lee sleepy-eyed and chocolate-coated. Lee smiled bashfully, looking down at his messy state. "I had a cake a little while ago," he yawned. Bob was a bit befuddled. "The cake on the counter?" "Yeah." "The whole thing?" "Yeah, sorry… I was kinda hungry…" Bob grinned. "Don't apologise, I just didn't think you had it in you. I'm impressed, good job." Lee smiled back. "Thanks." "If you ate so much before, I'm not sure you have room for more." Lee got up quickly. "I can eat," he said, not wanting to miss out. Bob chuckled at his enthusiasm and tossed him his bag of food. Lee looked inside and pulled out his burger. "You know," he said, looking at it. "I don't think I've ever had McDonald's before." "Really?" "Maybe the chips or something, but not a burger." "Well, you've been missing out." Bob took a bite out of his. "They're great," he said, mouth full. "Try it!" Lee took a bite, the greasy meat filling his mouth and sending his taste buds into a frenzy. He ate with vigour and soon he was sitting back, belly full and sipping his soft drink. "I've never really drunk soft drink either," he said, enjoying the sugary rush and the sensation of bubbles on his tongue." "I don't know how you've lived all these years like this…" Bob replied in awe tinged with disbelief. "Neither do I," Lee said. He felt the bubbles rise up from his stomach and opened his mouth wide. A large belch escaped his lips. "Wow, I think that's the biggest burp I've ever done." He was rather chuffed with himself when Bob let loose an even larger one. Lee was impressed, if a bit put to shame. "Belching is an art form," Bob explained. "It takes practice. You need to know how to properly shape the mouth to really amplify it." "Can you teach me?" Bob shook his head. "That's like going to Pavorroti and saying 'teach me to sing like you'. I'm afraid I can't help you, Lee, this is something you need to learn on your own. Master it, perfect it, and one day you might be as good as me." Lee nodded to this sage advice, still sucking on his straw. "I'll do my best."

#slob #weight gain #burping #my writing #Author's commentary: I have little to say about this part except it's where things start to get interesting #So if you dislike slow stuff you could start here and really just skip to about halfway through this part #also there's a seinfeld reference here because of course I slipped one in

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