#i think it would be funny if it was dick who made the mistake

[tanglepelt]

Dc x dp idea 75

Danny is mistaken for one of the Wayne kids. Idk maybe clone or twin or even just a look alike. This happens at a gala. Specifically near an entrance or exit not inside.

Now the only reason he is at the the gala was to grab sam and bolt. She wants nothing to do with it. He is her ride out of there. The mansons obviously aren’t expecting Danny to fly down there after they confirmed with Danny and tuckers parents that they were at home that morning.

He gets sam out and away. A hand on his shoulder stops him from beelining after her.

He gets dragged in. Whoever grabbed him thought he was a Wayne kid trying to escape the gala.

When he manages to get away from the kidnapper thank intangiblity for that. It gets worse.

He runs into none other then vlad. Vlad is confused. Asking Danny how he got there and why. When the kidnapper and Bruce Wayne approach it comes out that he is Daniel Fenton Vlads godson.

Now here is when “brucie” Wayne comes into play. All Vlad i didn’t know you had a godson. Aren’t kids just the greatest. Saying Danny was more then welcome to stay. They want to get a dna sample somehow.

Danny is now dealing with two rich people all while hiding from sams parents. If they see him they’ll know he was the one who helped sam ditch the gala. Then they’ll call his parents.

Too bad they see him. Confront him about sam. Danny is a bad liar and it’s very obvious he broke her out of the gala.

All of this happens while sam is laughing at Danny’s misfortune while hanging out with which ever Wayne kid made his escape. She doesn’t care it’s not Danny just happy she’s not in the gala.

[paradlselost]

𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐄

black noir x female reader

⎨ 𝐀𝐍 ⎬ this is set in SEASON FOUR so obvious spoilers ahead . this is just a drabble , i will post more about black noir in the future but i really needed to get a smut out for my own sanity 🙏 i need both earving and noir II . also that’s me under the table with him (:<

⎨ 𝐂𝐖 ⎬ second person point of view , mentions of mourning , straight up smut : p in v , unprotected sex , semi - public sex , zero pullout game .

How could he explain it to anyone who would happen to walk in? That it was a mistake? A heat-of-the-moment interaction? It certainly didn’t feel like an accident; the way you gripped his dick like it was a lifeline. Maybe in this moment it was, truthfully, it felt like the only thing keeping you grounded to this earth.

The once cool glass table below you rocked back and forth as if uncertain on the legs that held it up. At some point you would be worried it would break below your combined weight; but the mushroom-like head of his cock slamming back into a certain bundle of nerves drained every thought from your mind.

Visitation was extremely limited thanks to everything Homelander and Sage were doing, but a special exception had been made for you. Earvings closest friend, his unrequited love come to gather some semblance of closure from the new person under the mask. Wearing his suit as if years of unrelenting loyalty to Vought was dumbed down to him being a character any actor could play.

Maybe it was stupid to think otherwise, to hope there would be any kind of memorial for the man you had loved so dearly; how could everyone move on so fast from someone who had been there for so long? It wasn’t fair; but maybe his memory was better off out of your mind - out of pain and suffering and with his friends for eternity. Whatever eternity looked like.

New Noir may be a bit clueless when it comes to his role, but he’s not stupid. He could pick up on the way you avoided looking at his mask at first or how you apologized under your breath every time your hand brushed his armor. You were the best lead he had to figure out how to play this character he was thrown into. Not for a second did he believe his predecessor was only a brain dead maniac.

And he could be wrong, but he had a feeling his hunch of Earving loving you back was true. How could he not? You were gorgeous, head tilted back and jaw slack, knuckles turning white from your grip on the other side of the table. He didn’t remove his mask, only the cup that covered his crotch was off. He had to be acquainted with that area of the suit as boners against the covering hurt most of the time, and taking off the suit to get off in a bathroom stall was far too difficult.

Closure, what a funny word for what was happening. Maybe you could imagine it was Earving behind you, pounding against your cunt and creating those sweet wet sounds that vibrated through the room; but at this point nothing but the rhythm of his cock slipping in and out of you at such a pace could stay on your mind.

The cameras watched you two, no doubt, it was the meeting room after all. Your warm breath and the sweat that trickled down your form had created a slight fog against the once cool desk, a surface slippery enough to make him grab your hips to keep you in position. Hard, like he didn’t know his own strength, but you wouldn’t mind the bruises in the shape of his gloves, would you?

Cock-drunk, fucked stupid but still smart enough to feel the stutter of his hips and the throb of his dick inside of you. Fantasies of Earving often ended in him fucking his cum that leaked out of you back in, but you were suddenly acutely aware that this wasn’t him. You didn’t know if he was sterile; an important question you had accidentally skipped right over.

“Wait wait-“

Too little too late. Just as you had suppressed your eyes from rolling back into your head for the millionth time; he let out a groan. Grabbing your hips to stay impossibly close to you and pushing inside as far as possible, letting himself paint the walls of your cunt with his cum.

Panting, a gloved hand traveled from your hips to the very front of your thighs. His body pressed against you; keeping you on the table as he caught his breath - mindlessly playing with your clit, as if it was second nature. After a moment or two he seemed to realize what he did; you could hear him hiss softly from behind you, embarrassed.

“Oooh fuck - I’m sorry.”

[qcomicsy]

The Office but it's the Batfamily.

Bernard (To the camera): I think Bruce hates me.

---

Bruce (to the camera): I am very glad Tim, found himself dating someone. I don't think there's someone who would ever be enough to any of my children.

Bruce: But he is happy. So I am happy as well.

---

Bernard, invited over to dinner: That's. . . Um, A very nice mansion you have here sir. Really big. Big enough to hide an secret passage to clones but–

Tim, gesturing to him to shut the fuck up: HAHAHAHA ISN'T HE FUNNY?! (whispering) ᴮᵉʳⁿᵃʳᵈ ᴵ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ.

Bernard: WhichI'mnotimplyingyoudoanyway. But– IT'S NICE. Really nice. Thanks for uh inviting. . . Me.

Bruce, glaring: Hn.

---

Bruce (to the camera): Dick told me to make a "chit-chat". Be sure that our guest felt welcomed.

---

Bruce (to Bernard): Did you gave it a thought about your internship yet? When I started medical school I had a great interest on how Gotham's Hospital deals with post mortem patients.

Bernard:

---

Bruce (to the camera): I tried to find a common ground to make conversation. We both had similar majors, even though I've drop out

Bruce: I'm glad it was enough for a good starter.

---

Bernard (to the camera horrified): He wants me dead.

---

Dick (to the camera): HOW WOULD I KNOW HE WOULD PULL UP THE SERIAL KILLER TALK??–

---

Steph (to the camera): There's something really uncanny in seen it happen to another person.

Steph: And also really fucking funny too.

---

Kory (to the camera): The first time I got there I'm pretty sure was the time he made a contingency plan for me.

Kory: Which is cute. He thinking it would work but– Yeah.

---

Barbara (to the camera): Me and Dick? Oh he stopped talking to me for several weeks.

Barbara: When he did, he said "You are making a mistake".

Barbara:

Barbara: Don't you hate when he is right?

---

Kon (to the camera): I wasn't aloud to enter the house– I when I dated Cass, so–

Kon: Not that stopped me. But it still hurts.

---

Cass (to the camera), shrugging: I liked his piercings.

---

Bernard: . . . I didn't– Yet. No sir. I'm just, huh. . . Going with the flow?

Bruce: That's unfortunate. It's really important to always have a plan.

Bernard (gulps): You think?

Bruce: Yes. You never know what might happens next.

---

Damian (to the camera): It was the best dinner I've ever attended in this house.

---

Tim (to the camera): *Loud sight* I don't know what I was expecting.

---

Jason (to the camera): Are we really just going to pass on how his boyfriend looks like a knock off Scooby-doo member?

Jason: Like he is rocking a StarStruck haircut– And we just?– Okay.

---

Dick (to the camera): I mean it's not like Bruce is doing on purpose right?

---

Bruce, grinning to the camera: Hn.

---

Duke (to the camera): Oh he's absolutely doing on purpose.

[3cremepie3]

#1 manger

Synopsis - You the number one manger of the NRC basketball team get into a bit of trouble with the star players. How far would you go to get back your beloved position? Ace, Jamil, Floyd x reader

Warnings - Smut 18+ ,cursing, bribery, anal, (mentions) virginity loss, (mentions of) starvation, arguing, toxicity, betrayal

A/n - This was definitely one of the nastiest fics I wrote. And it’s just gonna get worse if I do a part 2 lol!! This is not fully edited bear with the writing for now!!!

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“Shoot it, Floyd!” You screamed jumping up out of your seat. There were 3 seconds left on the clock but time felt frozen. Your team had the opportunity to win if they made this one shot. But things don’t always work out. Especially when you have a dopey bipolar teammate that wasn’t paying attention and somehow had the ball slam on his head. It’s safe to say you guys lost with flying colors.

Time unfroze and the roar of Royal Sword Academy’s team almost made you fall over. You sat back in your seat chuckling as Floyd’s mouth stayed open. You the team manager should have been checking on him. But the situation was just so funny.

The sound it made and the way he fell back like a rag doll it was just comical. You began to laugh like a hyena practically sobbing as tears fell on your face. You put your hands over your face in shame as people began to stare at you. And for a while, you sat laughing replaying the situation over and over.

Now that you thought about it the whole game itself was pretty funny. Ace almost fought a player who kept fowling him but was held back by Jamil who looked like the interaction aged him 20 years a minute. God you love managing the team it was like a free movie.

“Something funny Shrimpy”. Floyd whispered into your ear causing your head to shoot up. “God you scared me Floyd.” You said wiping tears out of your eyes. “No it’s nothing,” you smirked. “Then why did I hear you laughing at our failures the whole game?” No, it wasn’t like that I swear!” Your smile twisted awkwardly downwards trying to hide itself. “Lies make me wanna squeeze ya’ even harder you know?”

Floyd had that crazy look in his eyes so you know he meant business but still you couldn’t contain yourself. You looked down from his harsh gaze in gave into the silliness which was probably your worst mistake.“Up now,” he demanded. His large hand met your shoulder gripping it so tightly it knocked the air out of your lungs. “Ahh let go of me,” you protested. You kicked Floyd in the shin to free yourself before running away from him into the locker room.

You knew some time had passed but damn it was unusually quiet. Normally you would walk with your eyes closed to avoid seeing gross dicks and hear a bunch of bustle. But you heard nothing except the stream of a few shower heads.

Once you got out of the locker room you faced the grim reality of why everything was so quiet. Vargas sent everyone Home except for a few star players he had to chew into. You stood behind him which was your duty as the manager.

“You could’ve gotten suspended for the whole season,” Vargas seethed. “What were you thinking Ace!” Hey, he hit me first,” Ace added. “Because you talked about his damn mother.” Oh wow,” you laughed. “Is something funny Y/n,” Vargas asked. “This whole time something’s been just cracking you up huh? What type of manager laughs at her team? Huh, answer me step up and answer me.” You stepped up in front of the player's throat now suddenly dry.

“I apologize,” you spoke quietly. “What was that you were too quiet.” Vargas boomed into your ear. “I’m sorry for laughing at you guys,” you raised your voice annoyed. “That’s what I thought,” Floyd interrupted. “You act like your scrawny ass could do any better.”

“I can assure you that if I had your build I could. I wouldn’t be like you Floyd just dazing off into the sunset when we have championships at stake,” you challenged. “Shrimpy you need to watch your mouth before I watch it for you,” Floyd threatened.

“Floyd that’s enough let’s listen to her she’s our manager, Jamil sighed.” What’s that sigh for,” you huffed. “Well, you’re not exactly the best person to be in the position you’re in. You can’t even contain your composure.”

“Jamil’s right it’s embarrassing,” Ace claimed. “Embarrassing you wanna know what’s embarrassing you dumb asses is constantly defending this team. Everyday I go into class and Ace can testify this I’m always having to stick up for this team.”

“Maybe if you guys took shit seriously then I wouldn’t have to laugh, you snapped.” That’s enough out of all of you,” Vargas stomped. The entire gym went quiet down to his immense anger.

Never in your days at night raven had you seen him so angry. “Since you all can’t take shit seriously your off the team until further notice.” Wait but coach I didn’t do anything,” Jamil objected. “Me either it was all that bitches Y/n’s fault,” Floyd insisted.

“Who the fuck are you calling a bitch,” you questioned? “The only bitch made person in here,” he smirked. “God Floyd you’re so lucky I don’t have a gun!” Ladies let’s calm it down Ace,” joked.

You and Floyd looked at him like he had just slapped you. “Ace please don’t make me break up your fights again you have no self control idiot,” Jamil figured. “Who are you calling an idiot.” The four of you were to busy arguing you didn’t notice your coach leaving.

You stormed away after him while the others followed. “Vargas please I really need this job! Do you want me and Grim to starve to death?” By now tears had began to stream out of your eyes.

Vargas didn’t clear about y’all’s pleas as he drove away on his blastcycle. “Fuck now I gotta eat canned bean’s again. I thought I’d get to forget that taste forever.” By now your mascara was smeared all over your face.

“Stop crying you big baby,” Ace remarked. “I can’t. Holy fuck I’m screwed.” You held your head low not wanting to meet the eyes of the silent boys. Not having any more words to say you chose to walk home.

You didn’t even have the energy to strip out of your uniform once you got to bed. Instead you just cuddled up with Grim who slept peacefully. The next day you woke up late. All you had time to do was wash the crust and mascara off your face.

While you walked to class you told Grim avout your new finical state. Which was only enough to buy you cheap junk food for about a week. Grim was upset and offered to beat up Vargas but you told him to hold back.

You lost your position and even if you didn’t agree with your new circumstances you would figure something out. “We’ll be okay Y/n right,” Grim asked. “I hope so,” you pondered.

Two weeks later

Each day, hour , minute was passing by so slow you thought you were in a shitty velocity edit. The pit at your stomach grew larger and larger by day. Food was scarce and you fed Grim before you fed yourself. Thats what a good housewarden does.

You friends tried their best to help you bringing extra meals by whenever they could. Even though you were starving you were grateful for there help. But there was one person you would except nothing from. That person was Ace.

That asshole got you into this situation in the first place. You would take nothing from him. Which is why you rejected his offer to go to the gym.

“This is obviously some sort of harsh prank. I’m not that stupid Ace. I know for a fact they probably don’t want me to show my face there for another hundred years.” Well it’s just me Floyd and Jamil if that makes you feel any better,” Ace stated.

“No that makes me feel worse,” you winced. “Just come with me Y/n so you can get over this weird grudge you have all of a sudden.” You and him bickered the entire way there mostly about how your feelings were completely valid.

But you stopped as you got to the door. You were scared since you weren’t the only one who lost your position. What if they wanted revenge you wondered but it was too late as Ace pulled you in before him.

The gym was empty and for a minute you wanted to ask Ace what his deal was. But Floyd and Jamil both walked out the locker room. You and Ace walked up to them and your arms immediately crossed. “So what can I help you guys with,” you snarked.

The three of them stood around you in an arc. Floyd was the first to speak. “If you didn’t already know we got out positions back,” he declared. “And what’s that got to do with me,” you inquired.

“A lot so shut it Shrimpy.” Thanks to us you may get another chance. Huh what do you say do you wanna be our manger again,” he questioned. “What do you mean thanks to yall,” you asked.

“Vargas and us had a chat and he asked rather or not he should let you back on the team,” Jamil coaxed. “It’s entirely up to us to decide your fate, Ace affirmed. “Yeah we know how bad you want this job,” Jamil snickered.

“We just felt so bad when you were crying Shrimpy my heart almost broke,” Floyd frowned. “I don’t like the look the three of you have. What do you want from me?” Ace put his hand on your shoulder giving it a squeeze.

You backed away from his grasp. “Hey don’t get all scared we just want you to confirm that you want to be back on our team,” Ace sighed. “Of course I will,” you exclaimed. “I would love that actually you guys are the best.” You grabbed them all into a group hug and they hugged back.

“Okay we’ll go tell Vargas the good news after you fuck us,” Ace mumbled. “What was that?” You were still in the middle of the group hug the boys towering over you. You swore you just heard something crazy come out of his mouth but maybe his mispoke.

“He said you’ll get your position back after you fuck us.” Floyd deadpanned into your air sending shivers up your spine. You pushed them off of you only to be grabbed back in. “Don’t leave us so soon,” Jamil whined. “Yeah we really want you back in the team Shrimpy!”

“Duece told me how bad your situation really is. Don’t you need this job? Come on you don’t want Grim to starve,” he shouted. They were right and you hated to admit it. This job really was your make or break it since all other slots in campus were filled up.

“I-i can’t.” Sure you can come one we’ll make you feel good,” Jamil assured you. “Yeah you’ll be nice and full Shrimpy.” Don’t you want to feel good? Ace’s hand rolled down your back and onto your ass. The others hands went to grope you practically everywhere.

“What other choice do you have? It’s either us or halfway starve to death,” Ace reminded you. “Fuck you,” you spat. “Sweetie you were Sutton spit in his mouth,” Jamil commented. “Shrimpy come on you know better then that especially with a body like this. There’s no way you’re a virgin,” Floyd bubbled.

“She hasn’t even had her first kiss yet,” Ace told them. “What no way,” Jamil cackled. “Yup she told me and Duece during truth or dare.” We can help you with that Shrimpy.” How about losing everything to us you can even get your position back? Come on say something already!”

You were to embarrassed to speak. To humiliated to even move but still you nodded your head. “That’s a good girl,” Ace praised. You were quickly hoisted over Floyd’s shoulder and brought to a recovery room.

As you were sat on the bed you thought of the many times you helped them after injuries. This was a betrayal like no other. “Hey pretty are you here with us.” Jamil’s grabbed your jaw making you face him. Floyd was at the opposite edge of the bed watching you interaction while Ace climbed up over you.

The fact that you had no idea where this was going frightened you. “We thought it would be only fair if we all took your first kiss.” How the fuck,” you wondered. “Just open up that pretty mouth you’ll see.” Before you could get a word out you were smothered by all there tongues flowing inside your mouth.

Every ounce of air was stolen from your body as they licked everywhere their tounges could reach. It didn’t help that Jamil and Floyd’s were long and oddly practically gagging you.

You pulled away from all three of them a mixture of spit soaking your chin. You took some time to catch you breath while the others watched you. “That reaction was so damn cute were we to much for you,” Ace pointed out.

“I hope you enjoyed your first kiss Y/n,” Jamil said. You couldn’t even find the words to tell them off as of right now your mind was replaying all the possible scenarios of what could happen next.

As you dozed out hands explored your clothes unbuttoning the fabric that they recently caressed. Soon you were left in your bra and panties. You squeezed you legs shut trying to find some sort of privacy.

“I call her tits I always wanted a titjob ever I saw one in a hentai, Ace grinned.” Well I’ll take her mouth then since someone needs to shut her up,” Floyd sang. “Lucky me I get first dibs on her pussy then!”

Them talking about you like you were some piece of meat should’ve pissed you off. But instead you felt a wet patch form on your panties. “Lay back so we can do our thing Y/n,” Floyd instructed.

The rest of your clothes were pulled up from you in a frenzy. Jamil forcefully pried your legs apart revealing your twitching heat. “Fuck you’re horny already you slut,” he cooed. The three of them shifted until they were in their desired position Jamil was inbetween your legs kissing everywhere but were you needed him.

As you moaned Floyd slipped himself into your mouth. He stretched you mouth open as he thrusted in. With his size your jaw was sure to go slack. Ace lined his thick cock inbetween your tots before spitting a fat globe down as line inbetween them.

“Jamil don’t forget you have to lube up her asshole as well.” I didn’t forget you anal freak we have to be patient with her wait a minute. ” It’s her first time after all.” He gave your clit an open wet kiss that had you clenching against nothing.

His breath so close to you caused you to scoot closer to him. “Hey Shrimpy don’t forget about me. I forget you don’t know how to suck dick. Come one just do what the pornstars do!”

You tried your best to mock what you saw in porn while licking on Floyd’s thick mushroom tip. His whole cock was so sticky and you used your free hand that wasn’t holding Jamil’s head into place to grab him.

It was hard to focus on sucking him as Ace’s movements shook the entire bed. “This feels better then I thought damn your tits are so warm,” he moaned. “Been thinking of doing this to you ever since I saw you at orientation fuck.”

His cock leaked precum all over you chest further adding to the sinful sounds he made. But he wasn’t the only loud one Jamil lapped at your cunt so harshly you thought you would die. God there was so much stimulation at the same time.

You couldn’t stand it much longer and you soon came. Your body shook as you orgasmed and Ace held you down continuing his thrust. “God Shrimpy you’re so bad at this.” Floyd repositioned himself so that his knees were on either side of your head.

“All you have to do is keep your mouth open I’ll do all the work.” Floyd pushed your mouth open his fat cock now forcing itself down your airways. You gagged around him as he hit the bottom of your throat repeatedly. This along with Jamil entering his slender fingers into your cunt had your eyes rolling to the back of you head.

Floyd finally stopped thrusting in you right as Ace groaned loudly painting your chest with his thick cum. “Fuck that felt good.” He slapped his dick on your boobs drizzling out his last bit of cum onto you.

Your eyes noted that he was still semi hard as he smiled down at his creation. Jamil continued to finger your overstimulated cunt. The room was filled with the nosies. “Hey I can save us some time if I get underneath her,” Ace suggested.

“You better not try anything Ace I spent all

This time stretching her for me to break her not you,” Jamil explained. “Yeah I get that dude I was just gonna eat her other hole.” Ace lifted you up and slid his head underneath you.

Your body tensed up immediately realizing where he was about to lick. “No don’t lick there,” you shrieked. “Why anal is the best you’ll like it once you try it I promise you,” Ace claimed. “But it’s dirty,” you uttered.

“Nothing on you is dirty to me now sit on my face. Don’t be afraid to crush me either.” His hands gripped you thighs until you were sat fully on his face. Your legs remained opened and soon Jamil lined his cock up with your slit.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw Floyd with a devious smile on his face. “Better open up nice and wide so you can take us all Shrimpy. Don’t you want your position back? Come on stop shivering your our #1 manger!

[cup-of-hot-worm-milk]

One thing I love about the alternate JoJos is how the orginal Jojos would not get along with them.

Jonathan is a lovely gentlemen who always chooses forgiveness regardless of what his enemy has done. Not even Dio - his adopted brother who made his life a living hell - could make Jonathan despise him.

Meanwhile Johnny hates everyone. He's s a dick all the time. He will kill a man for breathing too loudly. He once saw his esteemed rival laying on a dirt road with one foot in the grave and didn't give two shits.

Josuke is a teenage delinquent with a heart of gold. He's goofy and childish but strong and loyal to his home. He makes friends with his previous enemies and while he may go overboard sometimes, he always fixes his mistakes.

Gappy does not forgive and does not forget. He will haunt your walls. He only cares about like... five people. He's judgy af. He beats the absolute shit out of his enemies even if they've surrendered.

Giorno is headstrong in his beliefs. He is not purely good but his actions are admirable. He is ambitious and cunning but not cruel. He wants a better world for children because his was shit when he was younger. He plays the system against itself; he commits crime so he can save others from having too.

Jodio likes money. He's 15 and thinks he's the coolest gangster alive. He's got an ego larger than the pacific ocean. He sells drugs. His mother loves him. He commits crimes because it's fun.

It's so funny how the alternate Jojos are so different to their predecessors. I just know they all would have hated each other.

[lazycats-stuff]

Hey, I'd love a batfam x reader fic, where the reader got mistreated by the family when they were first introduced (not by Alfred tho), they ignored here and just focused on their own shit and when the reader got older and they realized "oh shit I got another sibling" they wanna build a relationship, but the reader hates them and is like "nah, I don't give a shit how bad you feel, kys" and "Do i look like I care? Fuck off and please fall down the stairs and break your neck" or they're really overly nicest most anime girl voice to make them feel extra bad "oh my absolutely dearest brother, I would love to spend time with you, buuuut I just don't want you to waste your time on your little brother, okayyy 😚"

I hope you can imagine something with this!

Take time and have great day

Alright, I'm sorry that this took so long... Also, comedy is not my thing so, forgive me if this is not funny.

Summary: (Y/N) was ignored by the other siblings. Years later they realized they had a brother. (Y/N) isn't a forgiving person, also this gif is (Y/N) like why the fuck you talking to me

Warnings: cursing, (Y/N) is not forgiving, the siblings want forgiveness.

They were all so stupid. Every single last one of them. Bruce tried to warn them, but they didn't want to listen. Bruce himself introduced (Y/N) to the boys. He also tried to stop the ignoring (Y/N) thing, but was unsuccessful.

Alfred and Bruce were going to now sit back, relax, and drink tea and coffee respectively and watch this entire shitshow, to put it bluntly. And it was lowkey funny. Alfred and Bruce allowed (Y/N) to curse during this entire thing.

Jason was the first one to try and apologize. He was the harshest one, always snapping back and slamming the door into his face whenever he wanted to hang out. He summoned up the courage and knocked on (Y/N)'s door.

(Y/N) opened and tried to slam the door, but Jason just wedged his foot in between the door and the frame.

" Can we talk? " Jason pleaded, watching as he looked him up and down.

" No, I'm busy. "

" Please, I know that I was wrong and I really feel bad. " Jason pleaded.

(Y/N) sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.

" Jason, I will say this in the nicest way possible. I don't give a single flying fuck about your feelings. You didn't care about me and I don't care about you. So, let me rephrase this once more. Go fuck yourself."

And with that (Y/N) slammed the door in Jason's face.

Jason stood there for a moment before sighing. He really felt bad.

Next brother who tried to apologize was Dick. He caught (Y/N) as he tried to leave the gym quickly.

" (Y/N), I need to talk to you! " Dick said, walking up to (Y/N).

" Well, I don't need to, so please fuck off. " (Y/N) said shortly, moving to the kitchen to get some more water. Alfred smirked behind the tea he was drinking.

" Please, I just want to make things right. "

" And I don't care. Now fly off birdie. " (Y/N) said, running to his room.

" (Y/N), I know I made a mistake! " Dick said, running after (Y/N).

" I don't think you know. " (Y/N) said, slamming the door right into Dick's face and (Y/N) smirked at the groan he got. Dick clutched his nose. He wasn't bleeding, but it was throbbing.

Dick had a lot of groveling to do.

Tim was the third one to try to apologize. He tried to find (Y/N), but (Y/N) became the expert in evading his four brothers, just like they evaded him for all those years.

" (Y/N), I know I was stupid at the time- "

" No, you are still stupid if you are trying to talk to me. " (Y/N) cut him off, taking off to his room.

" (Y/N), what we did was wrong and I feel bad. " Tim tried once more.

" Well, I don't feel bad for you. I don't give an absolute shit how you feel. None of you cared for me and I don't care about you. So, as far I'm concerned, you can kill yourself. "

Tim was speechless. What have they done?

Damian was the last one. He was very... Aggressive in the past with him. Ignoring usually had threats of violence and everything else was off limits. Damian didn't care about him and (Y/N) didn't care about him. It was a fair exchange.

Now he wanted to... Apologize? Not happening.

" (Y/N), I want to apologize to you. I realized that I was wrong. "

(Y/N) raised his brow, clearly not in the mood.

" Oh really? Please, fuck off and leave me be. You don't care about anyone but Bruce and Dick, so don't start acting like you care. And I like I've said before, I don't care about any of your feelings. You didn't care about me, I don't care about you and your feelings. So, as far as I'm concerned, you four can fuck off. "

(Y/N) finished, feeling happy that he got it off his chest. He walked away from Damian. Damian stood in the hallway, looking as (Y/N) left.

They have made a terrible mistake. But they will do whatever it takes to make it right.

[brucewaynehater101]

I'm so glad you like it and I love all your feed back. Tim would 100% have plenty of trauma that he just. Is *refusing* to address due to starting that identity when he was likely still a teen. Tim having the identity if Jane Doe is also 100% going to help him with coming to terms with all the shifty stuff his family did.

As for Jason, I think he would see Jane refusing to be near him as Jane being skittish, likely due to the many guns he is visibly wearing. He knows he has a reputation as a protector, but he also knows that part of that reputation is that people do fear him. He'll just. Need to give Jane time to relax around him, yeah?

Though I do have a version that ends much worse for everyone. The Bats aren't the first to find out who Jane Doe is. No, Tim makes a mistake. To calm down someone he's friends with after they almost got mugged and he saved them as Red Robin, without thinking he made a joke referencing an inside joke which made the two ladies laugh. Only one problem. Only they and Jane Doe understand that joke because no one else was there. It was just those three. Meaning Jane Doe is Red Robin. Which would logically put N as Nightwing, H as (Red) Hood, and R as Robin with B as Batman.

This also means these two now "know" how the Bats treat Red Robin and they spread word *fast*. Within a week all the Sex Workers who were worried about Jane know and help Jane sneak away whenever they know a Bat is going to be coming by. This also means that almost over night all of the Sex Workers, Bar Owners, and most of the homeless (at least the ones in Jane's area who know him) are refusing to work with any Bats but Red Robin.

They are full on *scared* of Robin because they know he carries a sword, they know he uses it on criminals, and if he's willing to use that sword to nearly kill his own older brother multiple times? Whats stopping him from hurting them if he thinks they're up to something? Batman? The guy who they now believe either used to or still does beat up his own kids? No, they saw what happened before Tim became Robin they *remember*. The ones who flirted with Nightwing are suddenly shunning him or full on sneering at him. They believe he stole his own younger brother's first time (Tim only said N stole something precious that he could never give back and that it hurt very badly. He meant Robin but he couldn't tell them it was Robin) after tricking his younger brother into falling in love with him (Tim told them that Dick was the first person to make him feel truly loved and adored, because this is 100% bad parents Jack and Janet who told him "do whatever it takes to succeed")

There is so much miscommunication in this AU. It's funny and devastating at the same time.

Them finding out before the Bats reminds me of the fics that explore the street kids finding out that Red Hood beat up Robin (a child) even though he promised to never harm kids and to protect them. This causes them to instantly distrust him, and Red Hood is never able to earn their trust again.

I imagine that the sex workers would probably react similarly to Red Hood. Instead of being greeted warmly, suddenly everyone is treating im with caution. That's so much fucking angst for Jason (especially if he finds comfort/support from sex workers due to them helping him when he was homeless).

Also, there might be a time when the sex workers are mad at Red Robin (and some probably stay mad). They see taking a persona of a sex worker as insulting and making light of their situation. Some of them would never do that work if they had choices, which RR obviously has.

Then they start to logic how old he was when he started (he was doing this when he was Robin), how he is actually still selling himself because he performs the work, and that he probably does view it as a necessity. I wonder if there's any misconceptions that Batman knew/knows about RR's activities and whether they would compare that to pimps.

But yeah. They would become almost hostile to all Bats and RH.

[sturn3]

i lowkey really got out of hand, girl... i'm sorry, i can re-do it if you'd like!!! (btw im not really sorry, im kinda proud of the smut i wrote) tw: not proofread cause im kinda lazy rn

matt's girlfriend was the sweetest angel anyone had ever met. always putting everyone's needs before her own. never wanting to disappoint anyone and she just had a very motherly nature, needing to take care of everyone around her.

so, that translated that she was a pathological people pleaser. taking up extra shifts at her work, always saying yes to her boss even though she didn't want to do something he suggested, giving her coworkers rides home, baking them the cookies she once brought to work and everyone continuesly asked for, giving rides to her coworkers and so much more.

her natural instinct of saying yes to everything to please everyone left her exhausted all the time. so, when she did have free time all she'd do is nap, that would be the case, of course, if no one of her friends called her to hang out or have her do some kind of chore. matt had finally had enough of missing his girlfriend so much and never having any time with her. and that's when he decided to intervene.

firstly, he decided to mix up her white laundry with a piece of red clothing, painting all of her formal clothes and cute lingerie, pink. you moved on and said, "That's fine, sweetie. everyone makes mistakes." matt had to work harder to pull out the beast he knew you were hiding.

secondly, he started messing up all of your orders. putting onion and peppers in every order, two vegetables you hated passionately.you did show a little more aggression towards that, but you picked the disgusting veggies off and made no deal about it.

thirdly, matt thought this was his best shot at getting out the worst version of you. you were currently enjoying a party at full swing, everyone was having fun and drinking. you were with your girlfriends a few feet away from where you had last left matt. what you had failed to realize yet was that matt had some added companion from the last time you looked over to him. a girl glued to his side. at that moment ,you didn't think you'd ever been angrier. matt tried to hide his smirk as he saw you stalking over to him with crossed arms over your chest. when you got there, you tapped the girl aggressively on her shoulder, causing her to turn around and give you a look as if you were the one interrupting something. she suddenly spoke, "what do you want?" she said as her big brown eyes bored over your figure,"for you to stop talking to my boyfriend." you said as you pushed her out of the way and grabbed matt by his hand.

you had to managed to get away from the crowded house party and inside his parked car."can you tell me why the fuck that bitch was on you like that? you fucking bored of me or something?" you said as you slapped down his neck, matt couldn't help but smile wickedly. "maybe." he replied testing you even more, he knew he was playing with fire. "maybe, huh?? i'll fucking show you how boring i am, matt. get in the back and strip." he knew not to piss you off more so that's what he did. finally, you climed to the backseat right after he had obeyed and done everything you had asked him to.

"so, you think you're funny, matt, yeah? you think i'm such a people pleasure who would let you fuck some random dumb whore?" oh my god, did he love seeing this side of you. he made a mental note to piss you more often. he was getting a bit too excited while you were sat on top of his lap and quite literally could feel his dick stood up against your thigh. "no, no that's not what i was trying to do. i love you, baby." you laughed bitterly at that, grabbing him by his face and pulling his lips close enough to yours, touching but never kissing, "well, i think you deserve a lesson, baby." you said mocking him. so you got to work. you were currently on your knees on the floor of his car, leaving kisses on the length of his dick and occasional "kitten" licks on his tip. taking your sweet time teasing him and making it more painful each moment you passed without doing anything further. the growns you'd hear of him, making your core drip to the carpet of his car, due to your lack of underwear. whenever he'd to push your head so you could take him further into your mouth, you'd shake your head and shot him a disapproving look and he'd quickly let go. after a while of teasing him, you decided to fully take him in your mouth. he almost came when your warm mouth came into contact with his dick. your movements slow and steady. keeping him guessing your next movement. he knew not to try you, either. but when you felt his dick twitch in your mouth, you decided it was time to let go. you had brought him to such point of overstimulation and overwhelm that he could feel tears spill from his eyes. sat perched up on his lap with your legs spread, your skirt so shirt, giving him a view of your pantie-less pussy, he wanted to cry. so, when you finally leaned in to kiss him, he sighed in relief. your lips moving so hungrily against each other, his kiss so bruising. you could feel his hands grab the bottom of your tight crop top and pull it off your head. hands immediately going to grab at your breasts, meanwhile kissing and sucking your collarbones. then, he went down to suck your nipples, paying equal attention to both of them, his hands dropping to play with you clit. your pornographic moans filling the silence of his car. when you pulled his hands away to replace them with his dick he was gone for. he came almost immediately, as expected. but that didn't stop you. you weren't gonna stop if you didn't get to cum. so you eagerly moved on his dick trying to reach your high. your breasts jumping up and down on his face, a sight he wishes he could see every waking second of his life. that fueled him to thrust up inside you, not being able to resist but play with your tits once more. kissing and sucking. "you're so perfect, baby. no one could compare to you, my love." he said as he pulled from your tits and looking up at you with a lust filled gaze. both of you came to a high eventually. completely spent from your actions. "you love this side of me, don't you?" you accused matt, he couldn't help but let out the biggest smile "mhm yeah really turns me on how crazy you can get.", "oh, is that so?" "yes, i love my sweet kind girlfriend but baby you need to let out more the insane girl only i get to see."

[azol-otl]

Just a silly little jaytim involving never died! Jason's big fat crush on his new friend.

Jason twirls in front of Babs again in case her Oracle eyes see something that he's missed. He worked hard on this, and he'd die of mortification if he there was a mistake he hadn't seen. He won't lie, he's kind of nervous about tonight. It's been...awhile since he's gone to do something social beyond school (and boy doesn't that make him sound like a loser) and he thinks he might have gotten a little too overenthusiastic about it. Well, Dick said it was fine but even after the coma Dick's only here every once in a blue moon and Jason isn't sure if he should take Dick's advice to heart when the man's been running around in tights since the day he was born. Plus Jason still remembers that Dick is a lying liar who lies when he thinks something would be funny or was trying to cover his ass. (Yes, he still holds that mask acne incident against him! Barbie laughed at him, Dick! Sure he now has photo evidence of Pizza Face Grayson, but still!) Everything fits him perfectly despite that last second growth spurt that finally started showing up. A tiny thing, barely an inch but it was enough to finally push him past 5ft so he's happy. His tunic fits perfectly and the stitching has an Alfred seal of approval. His armor is light, the leather looks good despite being made from old scraps of Bruce and Dick's outgrown clothes that have too much wear and tear to pass down. The cape swishes just the way he remembers, though a deep red instead of canary yellow. He decided against only tights by wearing some sturdy shorts over them, like an adventurer would, everything color matched for the time period. He looks up at Babs who's giving him a bemused look and he puffs out his chest indigently. "What?" he says tersely. "Nothing nothing," comes the amused sing song, the kind she gets when she's teasing Dick. "I just didn't expect this to be the result of introducing you to online gaming." Jason's cheeks warm but he has nothing to be ashamed of. Sure he's become...a geek after the accident. But he has friends, like actual friends close to his age that go to his school and not just co-workers six years older than him or a penpal from across the country. Plus Jason can admit he was a nerd before becoming a combo nerd/geek so it's not like his reputation took a hit. "Nothing wrong with immersion," he says. Babs gives him a wry grin. "Nothing wrong with impressing Tim you mean?"

And Jason couldn't even be mad at Barbie about that because she's absolutely right. Tabletop was Tim's thing, and Jason was excited to try it out, but it was absolutely a new thing for him. All of this was new to Jason. After being stuck with nothing but a computer for months on end any social skills Jason might have had have atrophied and what little that remains has made Jason the picture perfect geek. And he really didn't want to screw up this friendship when it was the lifeline that Jason used to actually talk to people in real life and not in front of a screen. Well, people that aren't maladjusted larpers punching criminals. "Seriously Barbie, does it look good? I don't wanna embarrass myself," Jason mumbles. This time Barbara does laugh and its just as embarrassing as the last time. "Ah, what's the world come to. Robin, the boy wonder himself, worried that he's going to embarrass his best friend in front of his Wizards and Warlocks group," she says wiping an imaginary tear from her eye. "It's Trailblazer," Jason says automatically, already having corrected Bruce, Dick, and Alfred about this for weeks. Barbara starts laughing again and Jason resists the urge to stomp out like a child. It wouldn't be dramatic anyhow, he isn't wearing shoes and he refuses to stomp in his fantasy footwear that's basically just a metal band around his arch for support. Once she stops laughing she finally takes pity on Jason. "You look fine Little Bird. I don't see anything sticking out, and the outfit looks amazing. Your little fey prince character is gonna knock it out of the park," she says and Jason feels warm enough that he doesn't even correct her that he's a halfling-changeling and not a fey anything, much less a prince.

 That warmth stays with him until he's in front of Tim's door. It's then that he thinks that maybe going all out was a terrible idea. He knows that some people dress up, but it isn't like a mandatory thing. And Tim didn't say anything about needing to dress up for Jason's first tabletop night. But Jason had been so excited. Tim didn't even finish his invitation before Jason already had a dozen designs scrambling in his head and started creating a character piece by piece. He was dragging out knowledge he hasn't touched since he was Robin. Fashion design, historical trends, and how to use them to create something tangible with the sewing lessons he had begged Alfred for back when he wanted to learn every practical skill he could. In case he got dropped like a sack of steaming shit. Crap what if they think Jason's a nerd? He had read that Traiblazer book cover to cover and made notes like it was a reading assignment! To be authentic to the setting! In case Tim's friend Ives wanted to "Um actually" Jason's meticulously created backstory and full lineage and npcs he built and sent to Tim weeks ago. Shit, maybe Jason's more of a loser than he thought if he thinks a wizards and warlocks group is too cool for him.

 He thinks about calling Alfred to pick him up and make a lie about the campaign being cancelled. Maybe he can persuade Bruce to send him back to public school instead of Gotham Academy. Then he can forget all about Tim and his goofy smile and how he puts his foot in his mouth and how cute he looked when he asked Jason to join in this game because he wanted to share something about himself with— Jason's thoughts are cut off when the door opens. He looks up, eyes wide with anxiety in his stupid changeling halfling outfit without any shoes because he wanted to be authentic. The guy across the doorway was tall, taller than Jason (but who isn't) and taller than Tim (also not an accomplishment), blonde with glasses. "Are you sure this guy's a senior, Tim," he says and Jason has to stop himself from punching out Tim's other friend.

Tim's head then pokes out of the door, funny wizard hat and all and just stares at Jason. For a full minute. It gets awkward fast but neither Jason or the other guy know what to say before Jason takes the plunge. "Hey, I'm Jason, you must be Ives?" he says forcing all his nerves as deep down as he can. Ives nods, "Sebastian Ives, don't call me by my first name." It isn't until introductions are done that Tim comes back online. "Hey! Jason! Wow! Your costume is really good! A changeling right?!" he says loudly, cheeks and ears a bright pink.

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

eye for an eye

pairing: leon x reader

cw: noncon, angst, p in v, degradation, victim blaming, mentions of past noncon, light allusions to possible csa, leon is both the abuser and the abused (same w/reader)

summary: after experiencing SA as leon's subordinate at the DSO, you decide to get "justice" by giving him a taste of his own medicine

a/n: if noncon is a trigger for you, do not read! not putting noncon in the tags bc i fear it will get filtered out of other tags, so please note the warnings above!

wc: 1.8k

thank you to @d10nyx for beta reading <3

Leon has you bent over his desk, hands sliding under your skirt, snarling filth into your ear. You’ve learned to bite the bullet and take it. Breathe – in… out… in… out… – it will end, like all pain. You keep ice packs in a cooler in your car, you still end up sore whether or not you choose to put up a fight. You eat your sandwich in the passenger seat with your feet on the dash. You do not cry anymore. You grab the sweatshirt from the backseat, scream into it once and walk back in. The routine works well for quite some time.

It’s worse when there aren’t any other women in the office, or at least, women of Leon’s status who would be able to report him. He’ll fuck you against your will in the privacy of his office, but not outside those four blank fucking walls – you’ve memorized the way the paint chips – if he thinks he’ll get caught. The sick bastard still cares about getting in trouble.

If there’s no Hunnigan, Sherry, or Helena in sight, Leon follows you into the women’s room. You’ve thought about pissing in the men’s room instead – you’d be more likely to have a witness if Leon dared to touch you there. You’ve thought about pissing in his fucking trashcan just out of spite, but he’d probably like that because he’s pure 100% pervert.

He pushes you up against the bathroom sink so hard the automatic hand dryer goes off. Once, he kept his hand under it the whole time to make sure no one heard the sounds of your struggle. You don’t struggle today. You don’t comply either, you just stand there limp, the only muscles that work are the ones that crinkle in disgust – you have to watch yourself in the mirror as he fucks you. You don’t cry for your own sake. You watch the lines in the corners of your eyes. They haven’t changed. Your pupils do, they’re emptier now, black voids. Eyes are not the windows to the soul, at least not to yours. You painted those windows shut. Not Leon’s either, you doubt he has a soul.

His hands wrap around the column of your neck as he jackhammers his cock inside you. The tip doesn’t kiss your cervix, it fucking punches it. Your IUD – you got it earlier that year in case Leon ever “forgets” to pull out – pokes the head of his dick and you have to stifle a laugh as he winces. Fuck you. Fuck you for fucking me. He buries the pain and shoves himself deeper, hits the little string again and a drip of blood falls from your uterus. Whatever. It does that once a month. Funny, he can’t hurt you as much as your own body can. Well, he could, but he hasn’t tried yet. He could kill you. You consider that fact all too often – what you’d be willing to do for him if he held you at gunpoint.

When he’s done, he hands you a wad of toilet paper to wipe his cum off your ass. He thinks its a courtesy. He leaves the bathroom before you do. Aftercare, for you, means five minutes of peace and quiet. He can’t get his dick back up immediately, he won’t come back and fuck you again, not yet. Aftercare means relief. Deep breath.

You allocate two to three minutes for crying. Your waterproof mascara is worth the twenty five dollars you paid. You cover your mouth with your hand and sob. You check the clock on the phone, times up. Look in the mirror, pull yourself together. You mouth the last three words to your own reflection. You have sympathy for the woman who stares back at you, but it’s tough love now. Nothing about you is soft anymore. You made the mistake of being kindhearted. It’s what led you here.

The next couple of minutes are peace. The post-tears state is orgasmic, truly. You feel sleepy, a tired smile graces your face. You capture it and keep it in a bottle for safe keeping. You run your fingers through your hair, wipe up any smudged makeup and return to business as usual.

You come to find that your indifference to his actions bothers Leon tremendously. It feels like you’re winning. You don’t like what he does to you. If you liked it, he could call you a whore and embarrass you. You don’t struggle, and force him to hold you down, a situation wherein he wins. You remain as silent and still as possible and it pisses him off to no end.

His only victory comes when you refuse to meet his eyes when you come into his office looking for something to do. He can see how he’s broken you down. He’s winning.

You find a solution. It’s sadistic, it’s sick, it’s morally reprehensible- illegal, too. But the other things you tried never worked. HR? No, Leon told them you lied. Putting up a fight? He’s stronger than you. Trying to get yourself to enjoy it? It’s something you can’t force. You looked up “how to induce Stockholm syndrome” and couldn’t find anything.

It’s an eye for an eye, baby.

Leon’s an idiot for getting wasted in front of you. You already have the upper hand, especially since he slurs out pathetic apologies while he throws himself a pity party.

“I’m sorry. You must hate me,” he says, “I’m a terrible person.”

“Yes, you are.”

You take him by the collar of his shirt and force him onto his living room couch. You rip his shirt off, making sure the buttons pop off to inconvenience him later.

Fuck your nice shirt. I hate you. I hate the way you look in it. I hate seeing you behind me in the mirror of the bathroom with the top button undone.

At first, he seems to enjoy it. Until you bite his neck too hard and his eyes well with tears. You overheard him telling someone once that he hates the feeling of anything touching his neck, so you make sure to choke him a bit while you do this. You don’t physically injure him ‘cause you’ve still got at least half a heart left.

You tear his pants down and shove his dick inside you. He likes it. You hold his wrists down and spit in his face. You can’t tell if he likes that or not.

Something in his face changes when you reach around to grab his ass. You haven’t fully committed, even mentally, to the act – it’s more of a scare tactic.

“You look fucking pathetic. At least take it like a man.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m fucking you, dumbass. Isn’t that what you want?”

“Not like this…”

“You don’t get to choose,” you say with a wicked grin, “you remember when you told me that?”

He doesn’t respond. He winces when he feels your finger enter him.

“Look at what you’ve made me into,” you whisper.

His lip quivers. “I’m raping you Leon, and you like it. I can feel you inside me.”

You promptly remove him from your hole. You scrutinize his dick. You could tell him it’s small, but it almost hurts more to not hear you say anything at all. Your sigh hurts worse. Pity.

You stroke him, lazily, pretending to be indifferent to the existence of his dick, when in reality, you find it repulsive. It’s the weapon he uses to penetrate you. You think about taking a knife to it, but you’re afraid. Of so many things.

You watch as his tip leaks. “You gonna cum?” you ask, sounding excited.

“Uh-huh,” he says. You can’t tell if he’s enjoying it. He fucks up into your fist. He’s almost there. You’ve memorized the sounds he makes when he cums, you’ve studied him.

You retract your hand. He looks like he’s going to cry. You laugh, really laugh.

“You think I’d let you cum?”

He looks genuinely surprised.

“You don’t even deserve to see me cum.” You pause, then add, “Not that I could. Not with you.” You frown at him, making sure it looks genuine.

“Feel free to take care of it yourself, but I’m going to leave now.”

“I’ll-” you know he wants to say he’ll call the cops, he’ll tattle on you, whatever.

You walk back over to him, stare him in the face, and echo his words, “No one will ever believe you.”

You turn around and leave.

Leon doesn’t meet your eyes on Monday. You’ve won.

Only half of Leon wants to do this to you. The half of him that still exists. The vile, horrid, fucked-up part. You remind him of himself and that’s precisely your mistake. You have a certain hope, an innocence he wants to tear away from you. He can’t steal it for himself, but he can force you to empathize with him. A victim, just like him.

When you squirm, he holds you down tighter. “Take it like a man,” he hears it loud and clear, after all this time. You’re not a man, so he tells you to take it like a “good slut” when he forces you down on your knees.

Tears prick in your waterline.

“I bet you like this,” he says, though he doubts it’s true.

Your answer is muffled by his cock down your throat anyhow. Whatever protests you have are null and void.

“You look pretty when you cry,” he says as he smacks you on the cheek with his cock, wet with your spit. Pretty boy, they called him. Shoved up against the lockers, held down on the turf, gun to his head once.

For the first time, he’s the one in charge.

“Please, stop,” you cried the first time. You stood between Leon and his desk.

“You don’t get to choose,” he said because he’s the boss, and despite how fucked up reality is, you don’t get to choose. You wouldn’t have chosen this.

Leon chose you on purpose. You looked like the type of girl he could break in. The dress you wore to the interview reminded him of one his mother use to wear when he was little, and she was young and pretty, and alive. He didn’t make that connection until later.

When you come to his house that night, he’s sorry, really. The part of him that he lost all those years ago lives at the bottom of the bottle. He, idiotically, takes you fucking him as a sign of forgiveness. Until your hands are around his throat and your finger is in his ass. When you’re rough, it’s boot camp, but when you’re tender it’s his mother sitting atop him. Your hand is soft like hers and he can’t decide if he likes it.

It’s easier to think about her when you touch him like that because at least he can pretend she loved him. In her own fucked-up way. He knows all those guys back in the barracks didn’t think of him as more than two holes plus a dick. And you, you fucking hate him and he can’t ignore that anymore.

He tries to ignore it, tries to ignore you entirely. He doesn’t lock eyes with you on Monday. He eats lunch in his car. Alone. Just like you.                     

[iblameashley]

Dating Simon 'Ghost' Riley

Civilian | Male | Gay

Content: Headcanons, Gay stuff, First dates, Budding relationship, Pre-relationship, Alcohol use, Mixed emotions, Military stuff, Guns, etc.

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley | Male

!!!SFW!!!

Note: This is kind of an in between of short-story and bullet point dating headcanons. I've wanted to write this for a while, but lacked motivation to go full story mode... sorry! Also, I do not know UK Gun Laws or how Gun Ranges work there, so just... go with the flow, OK?

It happened weeks ago; Simon stared down at his phone with a sense of dread, though you'd never have known just looking at him. He didn't even know why he had agreed to download this fucking app to begin with, though as usual it was at Soap and Gaz's insistence... and pestering. All he had wanted was some quiet on his day off, not to be harassed by yet another chatty man looking to suck his dick in an alley.

Sighing, he scrolled to the message that had just come in – a handsome young lad with a wide smile and kind eyes. It had started innocently enough, the usual pleasantries first, briefs answers after, and the long wait to see how long it would take to either receive a dick-pic or have a request for one.

Neither happened. In fact, the lad had actually carried on a decent conversation over the course the last few weeks, inquiring about hobbies and interests, career and what he was looking for. But then the lad had asked that they meet up on the upcoming weekend.

It's ironic that Ghost decided to ghost the poor lad. He didn't block him – frankly, he didn't know how – he simply didn't respond and closed the app. It was for the best, at least that's what he told himself, though he had blatantly lied to Gaz and Soap when asked how it was going, claiming all he could find was horny men looking for a quick hookup. Not that Gaz or Soap understood why that was a problem; they assumed Ghost getting laid couldn't make him worse.

But then they found out he lied, a casual glance at his phone when a message came in, and then another, asking about the date and apologizing if he had offended Simon.

Its rare that anyone could corner Ghost, but that's just what Soap and Gaz did, hounding their commanding officer until he ran out of excuses.

“Ye owe the lad an explanation.” Soap chided him, a finger pointed in his face.

“Agreed, you can't leave the lad hanging!” Gaz chimed in with a disgruntled look on his face.

So Simon agreed to apologize and reply to the poor lad, and even agreed to a date. He was ready for this, he knew he was charming and could flirt with the best of em', he just had no need to before. He simply wasn't interesting in dating.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Cuppa

Simon: He felt nervous for this date, in many ways it felt like a blind date since he had only ever seen your face in a few pictures. He dressed nicely (Button-down, fitted jeans, boots and some cologne was dabbed behind his ears where the mask hooked), He was confident, pleasant, charming and funny throughout the date. But he saw the way you looked at him with every passing question and answer and was beginning to think this was a mistake. You weren't compatible... but why did that bother him?

You: You arrived early and found a nice little table at the cafe to wait for Simon. To say you were surprised by the giant of a man who appeared would be an understatement. As you both settled in and ordered drinks, you attempted to dive right into it. Your talk walk halting and awkward as Simon dodged most questions about himself with grunts, shrugs or one-word answers. His insistence on using terrible puns and dad-jokes made it more difficult to get to know him. It was frustrating, to say the least, but you persisted. He did at least ask some questions about you, which eased things, but you knew that if this was all he was willing to give, it would be difficult to go on more dates, let alone start a relationship.

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Movie and Dinner

Simon: Of course Simon would agree to a movie date followed by dinner. It meant that he got to sit in silence and darkness for about two hours, and then could have a bite to eat after where you would likely do a majority of the talking. He had already tried his best on the first date, it was up to you to pick up the slack this time. The movie went fine for the most part, except when you grabbed his arm during a jump-scare that made him roll his eyes.

Over dinner, he picked away at the curry on his plate while you discussed the movie. He was surprised by your review of the movie and its themes and found himself agreeing with you on many points. Maybe you weren't such a terrible date after all. He decided to pay for dinner, despite your protests.

You: It was stupid of you to choose a thriller for a movie date, but you really wanted to see the movie and no one else would go with you. Since Simon agreed, you made it a date and added dinner after. Thank the good Lord it was dark in the theatre; you turned bright red at the jump scare and felt bad for grabbing Simon's arm. You felt the way he tensed, but were too embarrassed to apologize to him.

Dinner went much better and Simon actually became more engaging as you discussed the movie and its plot. He seemed to enjoy your nerding out and even cracked a small smile.

As dinner came to an end, you thanked him for the (genuinely) enjoyable night and get ready to pay, since the date was your suggestion. Simon wouldn't allow it and ended up paying regardless. Maybe this lumbering, awkward man wasn't so bad after all.

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Pub Trivia

Simon: Simon's intelligence isn't limited to Military knowledge, so he decided to take you to a pub trivia night, though he couldn't understand why he had this continued desire to impress you. You. Just some civilian who had taken an interest in him.

In between the rounds and pints, he started to talk to you about his mates Gaz and Soap who gave him the idea for this date. You'd like them, he was sure, but it was too early for you to be meeting his friends, he was sure to remind you.

You: You couldn't deny the Simon was an encyclopedia of general knowledge, his brain was like a sponge, it seemed. He had filled in the sheets of answers rather quickly each round, but you got the chance to flex your brain full of useless pop culture knowledge in the last few rounds.

What really entertained you though, was that the drunker this man got, the more he was willing to open up to you... you should have got him pissed sooner. You laughed when he reminded you it was too early to meet his friends, despite never asking to. This man was ridiculous and in its own way, it was endearing.

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Aquarium

Simon: He had agreed to a date with you a few weeks prior but had to cancel due to deployment. He promised he'd take you out when he got back, but by the time the mission was over and he returned to base he didn't want to do the obstacle course. You surprised him when you offered a less energy-intensive option, and here he was at the aquarium now.

As you two strolled leisurely through the dark hallways of glass staring at a multitude of sea creates, Simon found himself actually relaxing; something he was unaccustomed to after a long mission. You stood unreasonably close, but he allowed it, figuring you were uncomfortable with all the other people wandering close by.

A brief stop at the aquarium cafeteria (for an unimpressive meal that would have made the mess hall staff on base look like Michelin Star chefs), filled the both of you up enough to know you'd make it to dinner and something more satisfying.

You managed to convince Simon to take a walk through the gift shop, and ended up buying him a pack of face masks with a shark-teeth pattern on them. He was surprised and delighted, though he wouldn't admit that to you.

You: Your heart sank when Simon tried to cancel the date - but you also understood he just came back from deployment. Maybe you were getting to know him better between the dates and texting, but you could feel his exhaustion, so you offered an alternative; a stroll through the aquarium.

It was rather cold in the building and you found yourself drifting towards Simon... that's how it started anyway. He smelled good too, and you felt comfortable with him. You desperately wanted to hold his hand, but figured that was a boundary too far for right now.

You treated him to food in the cafeteria, swallowing it hard and trying to hide your dissatisfaction with the offerings while he ate everything on his plate with his usual impassive face.

There was no plan to buy anything from the gift shop, you just liked wandering them to see what was there... but the sight of the face masks was too good to pass up. Simon always showed up to a date in a mask, and only took it off when eating, drinking or for a quick smoke. So it seemed fitting and perfect get these shark-print ones for him. You thought you could see a smile under his current mask as you handed them to him.

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Shooting Range

Simon: Simon was absolutely intent on showing off his sharpshooting skills to you. It was the closest thing to 'giddy' that he allowed himself to feel as he drove you to the range. Simon is an expert in his field, matched only by sparingly few men - and several good women too.

But there was also a feeling of caution and anxiety as you both signed in and got your gear ready. Simon watched like a hawk as you eyed the guns over before making a few selections. A Glock 17, Mossberg 500 and M4 Carbine... Interesting selections.

This was as handsy as Simon had ever been with someone, ensuring that your safety gear was secure and that you followed instructions to the letter. He was already hesitant about this activity to begin with, but you seemed genuinely interested.

Simon ensured that you paid close attention, and that he assisted you with aiming as well as stood close by as you fired. What he wasn't expecting was your proficiency with the Mossberg. You each took turns firing at targets, and to no surprise to either of you, Simon was the winner... though there were no winners, it was all in good fun. But if there were, Simon would have won.

You: You chose the Glock because it had always fascinated you, the Mossberg because you grew up in the country and were familiar with similar shotguns and the Carbine because it seemed the most military of the selection.

You couldn't stop the thrill that ran through you as Simon checked all your gear and guns, ensuring everything was secure and safeties were on before going straight into his lecture about gun safety. You listened to him speak with confidence and authority, happy to see him in his element. You wanted to make sure you gave him and the guns the respect they deserved and did everything he said without question - or at least with very little question.

Your heart raced as Simon kept close. You knew very little about guns overall, but the way he pressed himself against you to help you aim, the calm voice he spoke in as he guided you, the feeling of his hand on your back as he stepped away to let you take the shot. You were melting with happiness.

The biggest thrill was when you fired the Mossberg several times. The look on Simon's face was priceless as you expertly handled the shotgun and even gave him a run for his money with your accuracy, but that was a secret to share another time.

You gracefully conceded your defeat to the expert in front of you, but couldn't help but notice what might have been pride in his look as he reviewed your targets one last time.

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Cooking Class(es)

Simon: It's not that Simon is bad at cooking - he's really not - but he didn't have the opportunity to flex his skill often, and he had a select few dishes that he excelled at. So when you suggested this date, he was a bit apprehensive.

But Simon was a man used to following orders - usually - and listened intently to everything that was explained to him, so he settled in at the table next to you and took charge.

He needed a bowl? You had it for him already. Needed something washed? It was already done and drying. Missing ingredient? Nope, on your left. Simon appreciated your own attentiveness to the task, and how you made it go so much more smoothly.

And then the dessert section came up, and Simon floundered. Hard. Main courses aren't a challenge for him, but Simon doesn't bake. Not for a lack of interest, but a lack of time usually.

You picked up the slack though, and he reluctantly ceded control to you, letting you guide him in making the Zeppole.

Simon's demeanour softened as the class came to an end and you both sat there sampling the homemade ravioli, a glass of wine and eventually the Zeppole.

Before you parted ways, you gave Simon a tight hug, demanding he return it otherwise you weren't letting go. Simon decided to simply return the hug instead of forcing you off him.... not because he actually liked the hug from you.

You: Simon seemed to be taking this class very seriously from the moment he arrived. He stood in a typical rigid manner while listening and nodding along as instructions were given. The only thing missing was a few 'Yes sir!' replies.

The man made a complete mess though, and you found yourself quickly cleaning up after him in an attempt to keep up with his pace. But even still, you had fun. You got him the things you both needed for the meal, made sure the table was tidy and even engaged in some small talk.

It took everything in you to not laugh out loud as you say the panic in Simon's eyes as he read the instructions for the dessert. It was like he was reading a completely different language and, after a few failed starts, you took over and guided him.

As the class came to an end, and you could both indulge in the meal you created together. You clinked your wine glass against his and took a bite of the ravioli that was mostly his handiwork. It was good! Dessert wasn't too bad either and Simon gave a contented smile as he ate the last of the Zeppole.

You both relaxed on a nearby bench after the class for a few minutes, letting the meal settle in your stomachs before Simon explained he needed to get back to base. You stood up to say your goodbyes, but noticed how he lingered. How he hovered over you; closer than you were accustomed to from him. Taking the chance, you stepped closer and wrapped your arms around his waist and lowered your head into the crook of his neck. He stood there awkwardly for a moment, and you begin to worry you misread the situation; joking that you weren't going to let go until he reciprocated, and gently his hands found their way to your backside and pulled you into the best hug you've ever had. Simon held on longer than you did, though you never truly let go until his hands fell to his sides.

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[seduzist]

helloooo!!!! this is my first time sending a request sorry if its a bit awkward :< could you do artxtashixpatrickxfem!reader (if u write for challengers!) where reader's an idol (or any career, really) who's very successful and rich but lonely bcus people only date her for social climbing? and then the three decide to try and make her feeeeellll... better?

sorry if this is a bit unclear, like i said this is my first time sending a req! :3

(an: guys its so hard to write a foursome i had no idea like- 😭 and i wrote it really sleepy so im sorry ill fix any mistakes later.)

art x patrick x tashi x fem!reader

cw. smut, foursome, dirty, just very dirty.

even if u’re a famous singer, with many fans and required by many people, when tashi duncan herself invites you to watch her husband’s game after you tell on a interview that you liked to watch tennis, you couldn’t possibly refuse. it was a really exciting game, but sadly came to an end after patrick zweig loses for just a few points, but that didn’t really matter because what happened afterwards is even more exciting. tashi invited you to her dorm, you were all staying at same hotel after all, wasn’t weird of her to want to know you better and introduce you to her champion husband.

you entered shyly as tashi opened to you, saying it was a pleasure to know you in person, that she was happy you were there, what really surprised you was seeing patrick sitting at the couch drinking a beer and talking with art, like the game of a few hours ago didn’t happen.

you sit by their side and after being introduced you were all already on a involvent conversation, they convinced you to drink some beers with them and after a few ones you were drunk. they were funny, made you feel comfortable enough to rest your head on tashi’s lap while you talked abt your shitty ex who used you just for social climbing. that’s how comfortable they made you, or maybe that’s how lonely you felt. while you laughed at some stupid joke patrick made, tashi started caressing your face gently, and before you could even realize her thumb circled your lips, like she was asking you to suck her finger. it was a little awkward but art’s kept looking at you, curious if you would do it or not, and in a act of courage, you did, made him mumbles a “fuck” under his breath and bring one hand to his bonner. that’s when you fully realized what was happening, you all exchanged looks.

“if you wanna leave, it’s okay, but if you stay… we just want to make you feel good..” tashi whispered lowly, and you thought for a sec or two, but then you got up, kneeling on the couch and kissing her lips, she kissed you back in a heartbeat and grabbed your hair in her hand. you heard patrick gasp and art breath heavily and looked at them, seeing hunger in both of their eyes, tashi calls them and they both get closer, patrick involved your waist with his arm you all started to exchange messy kisses, to the point where you could differentiate them by the kiss.

after a few minutes they took you to bed, you couldn’t even tell how did all of you get naked, but you wasn’t complaining. tashi sits with you laying between her thighs, it was clear that her words kept you relaxed at this point, she massaged your breasts while patrick started positioning himself between your legs, but before he could part them, you heard the voice above your ear.

“who do you think that deserves to fuck you first, hm? the winner as a reward, or the loser as a consolation prize?”

“oh c’mon, tashi-“ patrick was cut off by her warning look, silently shutting him up.

art just found it funny, even though his dick was rock hard and you could see the precum leaking, he didn’t seen to be desperate like patrick, that’s when you made your decision.

“i’m no consolation prize, i’m the fucking reward.” the married couple enjoyed your answer but patrick gave a loud slap on your thigh playfully before leaving, giving room for art to come, he leaned over to kiss you as a thanks before got up again, thrusting his pretty cock on your dripping entrance, so slippery that didn’t take long for him to get rough.

you felt patrick by your side, offering his cock for you to suck, which you tried to, but your body were moving to much with art’s thrust and you couldn’t stop moan, poor boy only gets a few seconds with his cock inside your mouth before tashi started to jerk him off in front of your face.

didn’t take long for them to cum too, art spewing his load inside you while you came around his cock, and patrick leaking thick cum all over your pretty face and tits, you looked at him with doe eyes, almost apologizing to him silently, but he smiled at you when he finished, letting you know that it was fine.

you felt your pussy aching when art took his softened cock out, but smiled when you heard tashi above your ear “hope you’re not tired yet, it’s girls time now, doll.”

[runespoor7]

hello!! for the ask game -- any more details about that post where wei wuxian finds out that wen ning and jiang cheng are hooking up post-canon 👀

the background for this is that WWX hears about WN/JC a while after WN/JC has been a thing - they've had time to phase out of the hate-sex phase, the phase where they're surprised that they have a cordial acquaintance interspersed with moment of kinship outside of sex, and are in the phase where they're willing to see where this takes them. it's been a few years since the end of canon, so WWX and JC have crossed paths since then.

WWX goes through some truly embarrassing denial. Because clearly what WN and JC gave been having isn't sex, it's not like, y'know, sex-sex. They must have been cutely holding hands and cuddling.

or, well, actually WWX isn't even thinking about that part too much either because the idea of JC cuddling makes his heart twinge and his throat go tight and actually what matters here is that what WN and JC are doing is fake sex and can't be real or correct or good!! They're probably too embarrassed to even hold hands, WN's too nice to push and JC is awful!!!

for the record LWJ hates this and is glaring at WN whenever they meet because WN is the one who stumblingly and delicately mentioned that he and SLJ are seeing one another, thank you WN.

2. for a while WWX manages to keep his obnoxiousness under enough wraps that WN can ignore it.

then one day WWX makes the mistake of switching targets for his random bout of fretting, and instead of bothering his husband he talks at WN about his ConcernTM regarding JC having sex WN having sex WWX not being there JC not being good at cuddling while WN needs someone who'll be nice to him.

WN awkwardly conveys the information that oh, hm, actually, that is not an issue, JC is a very good cuddler.

and then some demon must have taken over WN's mouth for a moment, probably invited by WWX's moue of disbelief because WN adds, very neatly cutting through WWX's exclamation that ah, that's just like WN to be so nice, but he's just saying that because he doesn't know better, because in fact--, "i just get him tired enough."

3. denial comes crashing down violently around WWX's ears and so does his peace of mind.

(there's a lot WWX hasn't made his peace with. JC never let him cuddle when they swapped handjobs as teens.)

suddenly WWX starts treating WN like a rival. it's unexpectedly thrilling for WN, and the fact that WWX's moods make it clear that in WWX's mind, WN is winning, makes it even sweeter. WN isn't used to winning. (WN wouldn't have thought of JC as a prize, it's complicated, the thing with JC. and yet. WWX thinks of JC as a prize. Even if he's not admitting it to himself.)

(LWJ is hating this even more but if he'd made a habit of trying to enforce his boundaries with WWX he wouldn't be WWX's regular, would he. he does try to distract WWX! with his dick! it has admirable success for the duration of coitus and then WWX starts getting the same look again. Distracting WWX with a mystery and a night-hunt just ends with WWX musing about looking up specific legends in YunmengJiang, at which point LWJ recognizes that they're going to have to go to Lotus Pier and hope for the best.)

4. They go to Lotus Pier, where: JC has so far been blissfully ignorant of this entire farce.

There's some new tension between he and WN because JC misinterpreted some mentions of WWX WN made, and WWX is an extremely fraught topic between them, one that they've avoided since they rolled out of their hate-sex phase. Originally JC doesn't link WWX's visit to WN's presence, he's too busy being taken aback (and distrustful) (and happy) at WWX being there, WWX trying to recall their history, WWX acting almost as close as they did once.

WN - who was already here! funny how these things work out! - is wincing throughout out these proceedings. WN himself isn't invited to stay in Lotus Pier proper, it's one of these things. YMJ doesn't have dogs for SLJ to unleash on WN, but he wouldn't want to take the risk, it seemed like a boundary worth respecting. There's something particularly awful about seeing WWX ingratiate himself - the word that comes to WN's mind is woo, really - with JC with JC unaware of the reason why it's happening.

Telling JC the truth keeps being the role WN stumbles into, time and again. At least this time he isn't trying to hurt JC on purpose. Even though talking about WWX is another of those boundaries of JC, another of those things that WN knows hurts JC, but--

at least this time he didn't wait years before telling JC either.

5. JC reacts by immediately being furious at everyone involved, but mostly at WWX, and there's a HUGE DRAMATIC SHOUTING MATCH.

JC acts like WWX returning like that, because of this, is some horrible betrayal.

WWX is outraged that WN told JC. (WWX's actual problem is that he's atrociously jealous of someone, anyone, getting somewhere with JC that he never got, by which I mean not just sex but also cuddling and a stable relationship that you can tell the people close to you about, and desperately needs to be higher in JC's priorities. he knows better, he really does, but WN's revelations turned his world upside down and.)

JC is also outraged that WN told WWX about-- *angrily cuts himself off* "--about you two fucking," WWX finishes, so incensed he's that close to calling JC by his courtesy name. And how is that any of WWX's concern exactly, to which WWX retorts something along the lines of "making sure they're not hurting one another," or something equally untrue. There's accusations of WWX playing games (JC - about WWX's return; then WN - about WWX trying to seduce JC, which gets JC snapping at WN and LWJ grimly nodding), there's an attempt from LWJ (who is throwing poisonous looks at both JC and WN) to convince boo that they're not worth it, let's just go, and WWX spits out in a fit of atrocious jealousy that it's his business because they're his, WN is his, and WWX had JC first, so why does JC let WN cuddle him--

at which point JC throws everyone out for the night. WWX and LWJ have to find a room at an inn, and WWX feels the disgrace acutely from having a guest room. (LWJ is indispensable in dragging WWX away, for the record. LWJ doesn't drag WWX all the way back to Cloud Recesses, because WWX "needs" to have JC, as he stresses to LWJ. But he thought about it before WWX started tugging on his heartstrings.)

5.5 - that same night

WWX slinks back out of the inn and beelines straight for LP. he needs to talk to JC, to fix things - JC always thinks the worst of things, it all went topsy turvy. There were too many people! This conversation he should have had without WN. (there's another conversation he needs to have with WN, but WWX's been putting that off forever and isn't going to stop now.) Even LWJ, bless him, of course JC would take everything the wrong way, given how he is with LWJ around.

WN intercepts him just as he's about to enter LP. And isn't budging on not letting him in. ("He said no, Wei-gongzi.") there's something very ironic about WN acting like JC's watchdog without being asked but WWX isn't unpacking all that - it feels like if he did he would entirely unravel.

A couple of WWX's arguments erode WN's resolve - "he threw you out too; you know you need to convince him to take you back or he'll keep a grudge and he won't take you back before forever" and "WN, we both care about JC," and "we need to dissipate this misunderstanding" - and if he'd had just a little more time he's sure he could have gotten through to him but JC finds them before that can happen. (people who trust in WWX's ability to take no for an answer: 0) Eyes slit, looking unhappy, all "what are you doing here."

"We came to see you."

Grudgingly, JC takes them in.

(He, too, thinks it's something unfinished. And his weak point was always fear of abandonment. What if he pushes away too much. They returned tonight. It would be foolish to push them away again; what if they change their minds?)

they're more tired than earlier, and quieter, so despite JC taking them to his office and not his bedroom after the confessions of caring and hurt they'll manoeuver themselves into a successful threesome before the night is out. (despite WWX tempting fate or at least JC's temper by asking whether it's truly so bad that WWX didn't say why he was back now? and no, for JC of course it's not, it's about WWX never telling the truth.)

After all, they came back.

[sminiac]

kinda want xkrs hyung line to take turns on using me…

Filthy. That’s what It would be. Utterly filthy.

Minjae would be the worst for masking his character. Shushes you with soft fingers, running them against your lips and brushing your hair away from your face, you think he just wants to clear your line of sight but he actually just loves the way your features screw and suddenly snap slack from the invading ripples of pleasure. Makes you keep your panties on so he’s the only one who can catch peeks of your slick cunt as you’re riding his cock, makes you move back and use his knees for stability just so he can thumb at your clit and see a little more of you. A moaner, a loud one, but they start off low and cut short in airy huffs because of the embarrassing volume he can reach, he’s not completely willing for other people to hear it, nonetheless his members being the ones subjected to his noise, but when he’s close and you’re not far behind him that’s when all of his strenuous efforts start falling through, then he can’t keep the whiny “Fuck, fffuck, fuckfuck!” And “Y/n, Y/n baby please.”s down for much longer. If Minjae’s not fucking you, he’s watching you be fucked, and he won’t let anyone else but him come as close to you when they aren’t lending a hand.

Sumin and Jinsik are the roughest, Junmin and Hyunwoo are the softest with you, Minjae is the latter of the two.

With Sumin it’s carnal, you place it as soon as he’s cradling you into his touch, familiarizing you with him. Asks you to fist his cock, spit on him, loves when you watch the way his chest twitches when you play with him— how he furrows his brows and his bites his lip sore. Seeing your pretty hand all sticky and glistening around his cock really gets him going, and there’s no way his own hands don’t have a good grip on yours as you jerk him off because of how often he carries around a hand mic, his thick fingers tightening around yours, urging you to squeeze his dick just a little tighter. Watches your reactions so intently that he doesn’t care about the mess, he’ll hear a few complaints about being messy from the others, but you seem to like, why would he not continue to do the stuff you like? Sumin’s the type to think it’s cute how you curl into yourself with so many eyes on you, when the time comes he fucks you like he wants to be the only one remembered in that dazed head of yours, probably repeatedly makes you say his name just so you’ll slip up when Jinsik’s finally kissing his way up your chest. Bet you he laughs too, breathless and laid back after you knocked all the air out of his lungs so hard it ached, sweat gleaming across the entirety of his upper body. 100% sneaks away with your panties after you’re both done too.

Jinsik doesn’t find it all that funny as you’re stupidly mewling “S’min.. Sumin please.” with a gentle hand against his pec. However, he does like how you know one thing. Judging by the needy grind of your hips you’re ready for him, he’d lean down level to your ear before trying to go any further with you, combing back your hair and pressing gentle kisses under your ear. “‘m not Sumin, honey. You want him? I can call him over if you need.” Nosing his way back to your lips when you finally start coming around, cleans off your hands with his discarded shirt, I think he’d like sucking on your fingers, or when you gently play with his tongue. When you’re meekly apologizing for mistaking him as one of the other members he can’t help but flash you a mirth filled smile, shaking his head as he’s lubricating his cock with the mess you and Sumin had previously made. “Don’t need to be sorry honey… jus’ need t’know you’re okay if I?” Jinsik wouldn’t exactly know why his voice dims and he can’t bring himself to ask if he can finally ease his dick inside of you, maybe it’s the hungry stares he actively fights off and the tinges of jealousy creeping hot over his members shoulders from the fact that Jin’s the first to get a feel of you, or the listening ears he pretends aren’t there, but you’re agreeing before he has to think about it a second more, because even when he’s just nestled the head of his cock into you his thought process is swiftly obstructed by the buttery warmth of your cunt. His thrusts are heavy, weighted and controlled, he fucks you like his mouth is a complete separate entity, Jin talks and talks to you in gentle whispers, but he still ruts into you like he can’t go a second without movement.

Junmin’s a little self conscious, sweet boy is so absorbed by his concern of not meeting the standard the other two have raised and set that you have to move his hands to where you need him. Junmin’s experienced, he knows his way around a woman’s body despite not quite looking the part, so he’s only scared a little stupid by the way you move in confidence, and the show you put on so gracefully for him and the others. Junmin’s teased the most out of the guys, they’ll point out when he freezes up from the nerves and when he suddenly forgets what to do, how to use his fingers, where to put his mouth, how to speak to you. Ahh, I really can’t because he’d probably be so whiny and fragile from it. Hiding his face in your neck, his tears dampening your skin when he’s pathetically fucking up onto your fist as you rub at his back in an attempt to settle his erratic heart. He’ll nod and sniffle when you tell him that it’s okay, that he’s being so good, doing so good for you, and that’s all he really cares about. You. But he’s still a little tender hearted from the constant blather about how you’re the one making him feel good. Minjae’s got the most to say about it, and he thinks he’s doing you a solid by complaining very obnoxiously with a hand squeezing and thumbing at his clothed cock, but Junmin offers you time to settle, catch your breath and clear your head a little… that is until he’s stiffening his lips and straightening out his back a little. Something about Junmin in this kind of situation I can only imagine him moving hips quite hastily, he fucks into you desperately with a chest full of high pitched sounds and wet breathless kisses.

Hyunwoo’s playful nature certainly comes out for show when you’re pulling him over, and after Junmin’s little drama scene he doesn’t waste anymore time than necessary for your comfort. He doesn’t want to hide you with his body, he wants the boys to see you, really see you. Positions you on your knees in front of him on the bed, your warm back to his chest, kisses your nape and reminds you that whenever you start getting sore is when you need to tell him. With that he sinks his cock into you from behind, moves his hand to the front of you so he can make sure that he doesn’t slip out of you when he starts moving, the pads of his fingers running against a distinct vein on his shaft as he rocks up into you. It starts off slow, gasp filled and very appetitive, it’s the complete opposite of hedonistic. He’s there to fulfill you in whatever you were previously lacking, he’s in the homestretch of the night, so he’s intent on making it the most satisfying one for you. His low gravelly laugh brushes at your ear after every teasing thing he has to say, sometimes his own moans cut off his banter, nips at your earlobe, lucks it between his lips as he makes you look at who sits on the sidelines, a second orgasm— third for some approaching the more Hyunwoo works you in. If they’d thought of this position first, your knees would have given out by now. “You’re glad that ‘m last right? That I’m the one who’s.. fuck, gonna make you— cum one h’last time.” Hyunwoo’s also most likely to kiss you even if you’ve sucked off multiple members before him, that man does not caaaare!

[pseudophan]

some post wad weekend thoughts...

i just wrote all this on the plane and haven't read it through so apologies for any mistakes

first of all, this weekend was incredible. i usually just kinda sit at home doing not much of anything, and this was a much needed break to actually have some fun. london in general always lifts my spirits but i suppose that danisnotonfire guy contributed a little as well.

guys i think i've met more people the past few days than i otherwise have in years. like. holy shit. i started listing people but i'm petrified i'll forget someone so i chickened out, sorry about that. but you all know who you are. i've met friends i've had for years, people i used to know but haven't spoken to in what feels like a decade, newer friends, and a frankly baffling amount of people i didn't know yet but who told me they've followed me for ages. like holy fuck you guys lmao what the hell??? and i mean did the reaction ever get old no of course it didn't. bad for my ego i'm sure but totally worth it. there's something very amusing and incredibly surreal about being chronically lame in most aspects of life and then suddenly finding yourself in an environment where you're kinda cool???? SO fucking fun oh my god, but also i do kinda feel like i've tricked you all? but hey i'll happily let you keep believing i'm cool, that is more than fine with me.

most importantly though everyone was SO lovely. like i said i don't think i've spoken to this many people in such a short amount of time in years and every single person i talked to was awesome. guys did you know phannies are kind of great... don't tell anyone but, lowkey... everyone is so funny and cool and absolutely insane but in a good way (shoutout everyone left at the gates until the very end, we should probably get some help).

and then lastly of course, mr howell himself. i talk about this a lot i feel like but fuck me that man was born to perform. whether you think he's actually funny or not, nobody can argue he doesn't absolutely thrive on a stage. he plays off the audience so well and he's so very obviously having the time of his fucking life. i'd already seen the show twice before this, and i didn't think anything would top the previous london show but man... the first night he came back out after the show having clearly been tearing up backstage, apologising for being an inconsistent absent parent, and i can't lie the "i had daddy issues and THEN i subscribed to dan howell" got me cause yeah no literally dude, you nailed it, exactly, well done. i think something about doing this show again, his magnum opus as he considers it, now after the dapg return was very special to him. he seems genuinely surprised that so many of us were ready to just jump back in like nothing happened, i don't think he was expecting so many people to still be waiting and it's... man. he comes off so grateful for us all and it's so fucking sweet. and then on the last night, i think that was my favourite, when the show ended and he got the standing ovation and people throwing him flowers.. he was so HAPPY. and clearly overwhelmed with emotion which, i gotta say, there is something honestly kinda funny about daniel howell standing in front of you trying not to cry. like no by all means dude go ahead, please, you've made me cry an endless amount of times it's only fair.

ugh. i'm proud of him or whatever. dick. and i'm proud of our ridiculous fucking community. i'm not sure what 14 year old nora would say if you'd told me i'd still be kicking it in the phandom a decade on, but at almost 25 (fml) i'm so so happy to be here still. you know, we get a bad rep, but i genuinely think as far as fanbases go we're pretty solid. and i love you all so much.

i believe i will have to rob a bank or something because the next time dan and/or phil do a tour i think i'll have to just show up at every date like i'm sorry but this was too good of a high we need to do it again immediately

anyway. back to work 💪

(by which i mean giffing dan and phil. i am still very much unemployed. fr though i'm two whole videos behind this has never happened i feel weird. who am i)

[kissingghouls]

The Date (Mary Goore x Reader)

Summary: You and Mary are still trying to figure things out, but you've agreed to a first date. (This is a follow up to Winter Chill because frankly we all need to kiss Mary more often. 💕)

tags: kissing, somewhat sexual situations, feral cats, and soft soft he/they Mary Goore.

A guitar solo wails from a nearly busted speaker as you lean against the dive bar’s tricky door. The air is stale and the floor is sticky, but Mary lights up when they spot you ducking past the entryway and into the dingy room. It’s obvious to anyone who might be watching through the smokey haze, but it’s a look meant for you alone. That half-smile, half-smirk is a signature look that really only works on Mary’s lips. It makes you feel too warm, too tingly as you drag your body toward the empty seat in front of them.

You don’t miss that it’s the only “nice” barstool in the place, the only one in the entire establishment without gouges or missing stuffing and exactly zero crudely drawn dicks etched in permanent marker. Mary must have guarded the thing their entire shift as it was a treasured piece in the bar—a mighty throne for all the “tattooed freaks” and “weirdos” that made up your social circles. You wouldn’t be surprised if the regulars had been threatened with certain death or worse—room temperature beers.

“The fuck you looking at, Goore?” you hurl at him as you climb onto the seat.

“You, darlin’,” he answers with a grin and a wink.

Before, you would have rolled your eyes and walked away. You probably wouldn’t have been here on a Monday night in the first place. But things were different now and a warm pink blush flares across your face at their words. It’s funny that it’s all still new, how all the butterflies and funny feelings still show up even though you’ve known Mary for years. But you’d never known this side of them, this genuinely sweet and ridiculously smooth side that they reserved for whoever currently held their affections.

Whatever this was—this thing happening between you and Goore—you were happy to let itself play out rather than giving it a name and getting attached too early.

“You don’t stand a fuckin’ chance, Goore,” Mary’s boss hollers with a laugh and tosses a couple of pity bills into the tip jar.

“I dunno,” Mary sings with a shrug. “I’ve got a certain charm, eh darlin’?”

“I guess you’re alright,” you reply.

Mary plays it cool, but you can see the way their eyes light up like they’d just won a million dollars. “See Pat? I’m alright.”

“They pay you to say that?” Pat huffs with a laugh.

“You could have a little faith in me, man.”

“Nah,” Pat replies in a gruff tone. He stands and pulls his leather jacket over his shoulders. “You treat this one right, Goore,” he instructs with a friendly pat on your shoulder. “There’s a lot of ways to make someone disappear.”

“Jesus, Pat,” Mary laughs. “What makes you think I won’t mind my manners?”

“I’ve met you. But this one? This one’s a good kid.”

“How could you accuse me of such a thing Pat?” you ask in mock horror.

“My mistake, kiddo. Try to leave Mary in one piece, yeah?”

“I make no promises,” you call out as Pat walks away.

Mary leans forward, elbows resting on the bar as he asks in a low voice, “you gonna take me apart, darlin’?”

“Shut the fuck up, Goore,” you groan, shaking your head. “Are you ready to go or did I drive all the way up here for nothing?”

They grin and grab the tip jar. “Lemme get my jacket.”

Minutes later Mary rounds the bar shouting goodbyes at the regulars and their coworkers as you juggle your keys in your hand. You do everything you can to will away the nerves clawing at your stomach, but nothing quite works until the two of you are outside and Mary reaches for your hand. They stop and pull you closer, bottom lip chewed nervously between their teeth.

“Thanks for this.”

“For picking you up from work?” you ask with a laugh.

Mary rolls his eyes and groans, tugging you closer. “For the whole thing, I mean. The date,” they reply with a nervous tinge.

“Is that what this is?” you tease, knowing exactly what the two of you had agreed on when they’d proposed the idea.

“You’re not gonna make this easy for me, are you?”

“Isn’t that why you like me?”

“Of course, it is darlin’.”

You reach up and press a soft kiss to his lips. He tastes like mint gum instead of smoke and you can’t help but grin at the thought of Mary Goore nervously chewing through an entire pack in the hopes that they might get to kiss you again. You can’t help grabbing fistfuls of their jacket to pull them even closer as you dare to deepen the kiss. Mary’s hands go straight to your hips as your heart begins to race.

“You’re fucking dangerous, darlin’,” they whisper against your mouth, eyes closed and forehead pressed to yours to savor the moment.

“Maybe. You like it though.”

They nod. “Very much. More than you know. But as much as I enjoy making out with you in the street, I do have a nicer evening planned.”

“You’re really serious about this date thing, huh?”

“As a heart attack, sweetheart. Gonna romance the hell out of you.”

“Bring it on, Goore.”

Mary laughs in response, fully accepting your challenge by running past you and doing a little bow as they open the drivers side door for you. They tilt their head as they wait for your witty retort, but you’re too stunned to do anything but stumble over a “thank you” as you slide into your seat.

It’s a short drive to Mary’s place, but time seems to slow to a crawl when he’s sitting next to you. You can feel the cold still clinging to his jacket as he directs you toward a spot on the street that’s normally occupied by his roommate’s van. He assures you it’s more than ok steal the space, giving you another one of those Mary Goore grins that used to mean trouble, but now they’re starting to make your heart stutter in your chest. As you throw the car into park, Mary’s face is haloed by the streetlight buzzing above and all you can think about is how badly you want to kiss them again.

“Stay there,” he says quickly and jumps out of the car, sprinting to reach your door before you realize what he’s doing.

“You’re out of your mind, Mary,” you laugh, shaking your head at the ridiculousness of the entire thing.

“Hey, I told you I was going to romance you, darlin’.” They hold out a hand and help you out of the car as you take it. Their fingers are soft, lingering just a touch longer than expected as they run a thumb over your knuckles. “This is just the first step.”

“Should I be worried?”

He scrunches up his face, pretending to think. “Yeah, probably. Come on, darlin’,” he says as he urges you toward the sidewalk. “It’s cold as shit out here.”

You follow Mary up a winding set of narrow stairs and lean against the wall as they fight with their front door. The winter weather’s made the locks harder to turn and you can see the satisfaction on Mary’s face as the door finally swings open.

“After you,” they say with a broad sweep of their arm. You’re still shaking your head as they follow you in and realize the apartment is freezing. “Fucking piss,” Mary shouts in frustration and rushes to fumble with the thermostat. “I’m gonna kill him.”

They wait a bit for the tell-tale click of the heat kicking on and the distinct smell of radiators warming up fills the apartment. You watch them move through the space for a moment, realizing you’d been here before. Some distant memory filters in and the room is full of half-naked people and those plastic party cups while music blares at an unholy volume. You can’t remember what the party was for—a birthday or valentine’s day or something equally unimportant—but your heart feels like someone’s gripped it in their fist as a perfect vision of Mary leaning against the wall wearing a bored expression and that same battle jacket appears clear as day in your mind.

A screeching sound pulls you back to the present and Mary’s rushing through the kitchen to the back door. You hear it again, not screeching, but desperate meowing just outside the door.

“Hang on, hang on, I’m coming guys,” Mary says with a laugh before turning back to you. “Sorry, they can always tell when I get home.”

As Mary carefully measures out cat food into two plastic baby food bowls, the meowing turns to howling cries as though the cats know it’s dinnertime. You smile as two small cats swarm Mary as soon as he steps onto the balcony. He sets down their food and grins back at you as he waves you over. “That’s Scratch and that one’s Sniff. They’re pretty sweet for being feral cats, just don’t try to pet Scratch.”

“I can’t believe that stupid rumor was true. Mary Goore feeds street cats.”

Mary shrugs. “Is it that hard to believe?”

“No. Honestly, it’s the one rumor I always hoped was true.”

“Hmm, so you’re saying you think about me when I’m not around?”

“That’s hilarious coming from the guy who’s had a crush on me ‘for-fucking-ever.’”

“Oh, because you never had a crush on me?”

“I never said that.”

Mary smiles and takes your hand. “C’mon darlin’. We have a date.”

Back inside the small kitchen, Mary becomes increasingly frustrated as they open and slam each cabinet shut. There’s a growl under their breath, throaty and deep like the noises they make on stage and their shoulder sag in defeat as they stare into the empty fridge.

“So…uh…” he starts and rests his forehead against the door of the freezer.

“What’s wrong?”

“I swear I had a plan. I was going to do all this nice shit for you—I was gonna make you dinner! But it…uh…it looks like my roommate ate all the food?”

“Were you…trying to impress me, Goore?”

“Yes,” he confesses quickly. “Trying real fuckin hard here, darlin’.”

“You know you don’t—”

“I don’t have to do any of this for you? Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s just…I wanted to?”

“Well, you still could right? There’s got to be something left in here,” you suggest and begin to search the cabinets. Tucked away in a back corner is a single box of mac and cheese in little cartoon shapes. “Ah! What about this?”

Mary laughs. “Probably about as good as it’s gonna get. This ok with you?”

You lean closer to them and whisper, “I kind of love that stuff.”

A soft smile creeps across their face before they steal a kiss and send you off to the living room. You settle on the sofa and pull your sleeves over your hands as you fold up to keep warm. The heat might be making noises, but it’s still cold as hell in Mary’s apartment. You know it’s the kind of thing they can’t help, but you keep your discomfort to yourself. You didn’t miss that hint of embarrassment under his makeup because things weren’t “perfect” when you’d arrived, but you weren’t sure how to tell him that none of that mattered to you. You just wanted to be here with him.

“Well, this is a fucking disaster,” Mary states with a self-deprecating laugh and drops next to you on the sofa. They swipe at their face, clearly still upset by the way the evening’s events continue to unfold. The metal of their rings clicks together as their fingers smudge their already fading makeup.

It’s almost cute the way Mary is aggravated by things not turning out as planned. Hell, it’s cute that Mary made plans, but you weren’t about to let them put you on a pedestal—lest you fall from it later.

“Mary?” you start softly.

“Hmm?”

You don’t really have anything to say to follow up, so you crawl across the sofa and straddle his thighs instead. You level your eyes with the pale green of his, watching as his pupils go wide at the sight of you in his lap. “It’s not a disaster,” you tell him, slightly impressed that you’ve earned his full attention. “It’s just a regular date.”

“Fucking hell, darlin’,” they groan.

“What?” you ask with a doe-eyed innocence that has Mary pulling their lip between their teeth.

“You’re something else, you know?” they whisper.

You shrug and lean in, closing what little gap was left between the two of you. “I can’t help it. There’s just…something about you.”

“About me?” he asks in disbelief.

“You gonna argue with me or are you gonna kiss me, Goore?”

“Hmm,” he hums, pretending to think once more. “Yeah, I’ll be honest I think I’m gonna kiss you. Like, a lot.”

“Yeah, I think that’s a good plan.”

“Probably one of my better ones, really,” he says softly, urging you closer with each word before his mouth claims yours. He smooths a hand over your back as the kiss grows more and more heated. He shifts beneath you, turning to pin you to the sofa as he hovers above you. The weight of his hips against yours is like a dream and you reach up to pull him closer. Tongues twist as hands tangle in each other’s hair, fingers gripping with hesitation to find the perfect pressure to make the other moan. While Mary’s kiss is aggressive, they keep their hips almost respectfully still until you give chase with your own, raising to meet the slow, tentative grind.

The sound they make—somewhere between a whine and a whimper—is so pretty you’re determined to hear it again, but it’s too hard to think with Mary’s teeth on your neck and their fingers trailing under your shirt. They’re leaving marks, but you know you will too as soon as you get the chance, so you tug hard at Mary’s hair and attack as they throw their head back. Their eyes shut tight as you nip at the skin below their ear and suck an angry red mark into their skin. They make that sound again and this time it’s almost desperate as their hardening length drags over your sex.

Before either of you can do anything about it, a horrific noise erupts above you. Mary falls from the sofa, knees banging against the hardwood floor as you sit up and try to catch your breath. There’s a haze of steam in the room and Mary scrambles toward the kitchen to wave anything they can in front of the screaming smoke alarm. When the wailing finally stops, they turn back to you sheepishly and burst into an uncontrollable laughter.

“Forgot—” they heave between giggles, “forgot—about—the food.” They finally catch their breath and wipe away an errant tear as they shake their head. “Darlin’ I might not be cut out for this fancy date stuff.”

“Is this a bad time to tell you that it’s fucking freezing in here?”

“Yeah, I think the heat is out. I might have been…trying to pretend it wasn’t.”

“Ah, well, do you have…I don’t know…blankets? Like…maybe on your bed?”

“Darlin’ are you trying to get into my bed?”

“Yeah, actually.”

Mary grins. “Ok, this might be the best date I’ve ever had.”

-x-

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