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cherrrydragon · 2 months

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➤ find something worth saving (it's all for the taking)

CHAPTER EIGHT: CONNECTIONS

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SUMMARY ↳ So.. dinner with the family. Yikes. Damian doesn't release his hold until you're both in a quieter part of the manor, away from potential eavesdroppers. "You enjoy teasing me, don't you?" he murmurs, voice dropping. You grin saliciously. "Of course I do," you reply, your voice teasing as you lean in closer to Damian. "It keeps things interesting, doesn't it?" pairing: jon kent x gn!reader x damian wayne warnings: subtle "accusations" of cheating wc: 4.4k NOTICE: im gonna start adding my notes/end notes on ao3 from now on if i have any. they just include my yapping (the beginning notes are usually just warnings anyway) i might go back and add them to previous chaps, might not.

You actually spend the next morning skipping your first classes in exchange for visiting the Den. You’ve had perfect attendance so far, so you’re only grievance is that you won’t be able to brag about it anymore. You’ll send in an excuse note later.

The reason for your absence is to take note of what you need for the badassium. Karen lists things off for you as you write them on a little note. A lot of it is high-grade expensive stuff. If Victoria can’t get it for you, you’ll just ask her for the money to get it yourself. Or just ask her where you can steal it.

You arrive only a tad bit late to ballet class. That’s a lie, there’s five minutes left till the bell. The teacher barely notices, too occupied with scolding some of the other kids. Victoria sees you enter and scurries over.

“Where were you?” she asks.

You pull out the list, holding it up to her. “Making this.” You hold it out to her. “It’s a list of all the stuff I need. You wanna help me? Get me these.”

She takes the paper, looking it over. “What is it?”

“Materials I need. I’m building something really important.” Victoria’s eyes roam the sheet, before nodding and tucking it into her bra.

“How fast do you need them?”

“As fast as you can get them without raising suspicion. If you can’t get them, either give me the money or tell me where I can pick it up myself.”

Victoria raises a brow. “You’d steal it?”

You shrug. “What, like it’s hard?”

She huffs is disbelief. She’ll get used to you soon enough. The bell rings, and you and Victoria walk out together. “My staff are very discreet,” she reassures. “I will get it to you.”

“Drop it off at this location,” you text her the address. It’s an old apartment close to your Den. No one lives there, you made sure.

Determined to be of use, she nods. You wave her goodbye as you drop her off. Since you missed first period, you’ll only get to see Damian at the end of the day. You also missed lunch, so there goes your most fulfilling meal of the day.

You’re beginning to feel like a zombie. You’ve always been isolated from your peers, not on purpose, most of the time. Your mind is simply far beyond theirs in every universe, it seems. It’s why you started online classes, you simply just couldn’t stand being in school with others. It was just so boring . Unfortunately for you, you’re stuck in class. Life’s rough. Maybe you should start skipping more often. You can definitely catch up, you just have to not miss too many classes.

Ms. M greets you with a bright and cheery disposition, quite the opposite to your current demeanor. You give Ms. M a stiff but polite smile, trying to muster some enthusiasm. She’s one of the few teachers you actually like, her passion for the subject always evident.

You place your head down on your desk, feeling the lull of boredom pull you under. As Ms. M begins her lecture, you try to focus, but your mind keeps drifting back to the list of materials and your plans for the badassium. The thought of finally making significant progress makes you giddy.

Luckily for your peace of mind, Ms. M has a short lecture for the day with no assignment. She leaves the class alone for the remainder of the day. You shut your eyes, breathing calm. Feeling the call of sleep, you answer, escaping from the boringness of the day.

Except a finger flicks your ear, rudely disturbing your would-be sleep.

“Damian,” you murmur, rising. “May I help you?”

“Where were you this morning?” He doesn’t waste time with pleasantries. He never does.

“Not here,” you grumble. “I had to take care of some stuff. And I was kind of thinking about not even coming at all.” It’s true. Most people in their right mind just stay home if they’re even ten minutes late.

Damian picks a piece of lint from your collar. “I thought that perhaps you were affected by Ivy’s abilities. After all, I doubt you are capable of taking care of yourself.”

You cup Damian’s face, making his lips pucker. “Aw, is this your roundabout way of saying you want to take care of me? You’re so sweet.”

He takes your hands into his own, pulling them away. “I didn’t think you the unfaithful type, [Name].”

You blink. “Huh?”

“Considering the compromising position I found you and Victoria in, certainly the two of you are… together?” His face twists as he says the last word. Oh, yeah. You forgot that he walked in on the two of you. The whole carnival thing occupied your thoughts.

“Well, first of all–” you start, placing your hands in your lap, tugging his hands there as well. “–you make it sound like we’re in the regency era and I’ve just compromised the young lady Victoria,” you huff in a British accent, rolling your eyes. “Second of all, what you walked in on was a… confusing situation. We kissed, agreed we were better of as friends, and that’s that. I am not the unfaithful type, fuck you,” you grin. Leaning back, you raise your legs so perch them on his thighs. Surprisingly, he lets you.

“So don’t worry, I’m still available and I would never cheat on you, baby.”

He pinches your thigh in retaliation, before moving to massage your calves. You let your head hang over the edge of your chair, relaxing. Damian’s got skilled hands, he has too. From his background as an assassin and his current occupation as Robin. His fingers work the stress out of your muscles. His hands feel really nice.

“We’ll go to my home to work more on the project,” he mutters, focused on his current task. You hum in contentment, the tension in your muscles melting away under Damian's skilled hands. “Sounds good to me,” you murmur. “Alfred makes really good sandwiches.”

Damian continues to knead your calves for a few more moments before finally stopping. “You’ve become spoiled.”

You laugh softly, sitting up and stretching. “Says the rich one.” You and Damian gather your things as the last bell rings. Stepping outside, you breathe in the cool air. It’s getting colder in Gotham, soon it’ll start snowing. Damian’s hand finds its place on your back, guiding you to the car. You make sure to greet Alfred as you step inside.

“How’s Jon doing?” you ask. “I hope he isn’t too embarrassed about what happened.”

“Jon is fine. The antidote did it’s part. As for his unnecessary embarrassment…” he trails off, “...you should ask him yourself.”

You tsk. “Useless,” you joke. You have a feeling Jon will do anything to ignore and forget about what happened, so you’re not sure how easy it’ll be to ask him.

Wayne Manor stands before you once again as you arrive. The sprawling estate is both imposing and welcoming, a testament to the Wayne family’s legacy. You step out of the car, feeling a mix of anticipation and exhaustion.

When you enter, you’re greeted by a loud bark. A large dog, a Great Dane, rounds the corner. He trots happily towards Damian, panting. Damian gives him generous pets.

“This is Titus,” he introduces. Titus barks at you in greeting.

You grin reaching out a hand to pet him. “Hi, Titus.” Titus leans into your scritches, making you coo and increase your petting tenfold.

“Sorry about that! I guess he knew you were here and got excited,” says a voice, rounding the corner. A figure clad is comfy loungewear makes his way over to the two of you. You clock him immediately as none other than Dick Grayson. He bears a charming smile as he approaches.

“You must be Damian’s friend I’ve heard so much about,” he greets, holding out a hand.

You shake it, looking at Damian smugly. “You talk about me, Dami?” You grin as he glares at you.

“I’m his older brother, Dick.”

The urge to make a joke is very strong, but you persevere. Wrong audience. “Nice to meet you. Damian hasn't mentioned you at all," you tease lightly, shooting Damian a playful glance.

Dick chuckles, looking between you and Damian with a knowing expression. "I can see that. Well, if you're Damian's friend, you're welcome here anytime. And it's always nice to meet someone who can keep him on his toes."

You chuckle softly, liking his easygoing demeanor. "Thanks, Dick. I'll do my best to keep him in line."

Damian doesn’t like how you and his brother are plotting against him in front of him, so he grabs you arm and drags you away. “We have work to do, Grayson. Do not bother us.”

Dick grins and winks as you two disappear from view. As Damian drags you away, you shoot Dick a playful wave before disappearing from view. You can hear Dick's laughter echoing behind you, amused.

Damian doesn't release his hold until you're both in a quieter part of the manor, away from potential eavesdroppers. "You enjoy teasing me, don't you?" he murmurs, voice dropping.

You grin saliciously. "Of course I do," you reply, your voice teasing as you lean in closer to Damian. "It keeps things interesting, doesn't it?"

“It seems to be your only talent,” he says, turning to look at you. Your faces are close together, breaths intermingling.

Your playful grin widens at his comment, enjoying the closeness as Damian's gaze meets yours. "Oh, I have plenty of talents," you retort smoothly, teasingly brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead. Damian's pupils dilate, a glint flickering in his eyes before he regains his composure.

"Is that so?" he challenges, a smirk playing on his lips. His hand, which had been resting on your arm, moves to lightly trace the line of your jaw, his touch sending a shiver down your spine.

You lean into his touch, meeting his gaze with a mixture of playfulness and genuine affection. "Mhm," you murmur, your voice low. "But you'll have to stick around to find out all my secrets."

The intensity in Damian's eyes deepens, his thumb brushing lightly against your cheek. "Maybe I intend to," he replies, his voice dropping to a husky whisper.

Before the moment can escalate further, a loud bark interrupts the thick atmosphere. Titus, ever the loyal companion, trots over to Damian’s side, breaking the spell between you and Damian. You chuckle softly, pulling back slightly as Damian withdraws his hand.

Damian straightens beside you, brushing his hands down his front. Clearing his throat, grumbles. “We are distracted, we should be working.”

You shrug, easy. “You’re the guide.”

Damian leads you into the same room you worked in the last time you visited. Titus takes perch under the table, settling in and curling up. Today will probably be the last time you’re invited over for a while, if not indefinitely. You’re sure you’ll finish the powerpoint in an hour or so, so you wonder if Damian will kick you out as soon as that happens.

You hand Damian your laptop, since it’s been mostly you doing the actual work, it’s his turn. His fingers fly across the keys as he types. You sit on the table next to him and point out things he should add. You both work in comfortable silence, occasionally broken by your comments and Damian's terse responses. The atmosphere is focused, the earlier playful tension replaced by a shared sense of purpose.

After an hour or so, you lean back, stretching your arms above your head. "I think that covers everything," you say, looking over the final slide.

Damian gives a final, scrutinizing look at the presentation before nodding in agreement. "It’s comprehensive," he admits, shutting the laptop. "We should be prepared for any questions they throw at us."

"Good," you reply, hopping off the table. "Now that the hard part's done, let's hope the presentation goes smoothly."

Damian closes your laptop and sets it aside. "It will. We've covered every angle. Even if they ask something unexpected, we can handle it."

You smile, appreciating his confidence. You stretch once more, your muscles appreciating the movement after sitting for so long. Titus wakes up from his nap, prancing over to you. You kneel and pet his face generously. He whines when you pull away to gather your stuff.

As you gather your things, you notice Damian watching you with an inscrutable expression. You can't quite read what's going on in his mind, but there's a sense of something unsaid lingering in the air.

“What is it?” you ask.

Damian hesitates, which he seems to do a lot around you. It’s strange to you how someone who appears so sure of himself, so absolute can do such a thing. “What are your plans for your future?”

You blink, taken aback. “Like… after high school?”

He nods, his gaze intense. "Yes. What do you see yourself doing?"

It's a question you haven't given much thought to, caught up as you are in the present challenges. You don’t really want to give it much thought. Being here long enough to go to college makes your stomach turn. You can’t pretend like you have been miserable all this time. You’ve made friends, made a life here. But it’s not your life.

“I haven’t really thought about a college or anything. I know I want to help people,” you say, eyes trailing off. “What do you wanna do?”

Damian’s expression softens. “I want to continue my fathers legacy. Do everything to make the city safer, I suppose. However, I would also like to explore my own interests.”

“I look forward to seeing your art in a museum, Damian,” you declare, facing him.

There's a moment of shared understanding between you, a recognition of the complexities that lie beneath the surface. It's a comforting feeling, knowing that despite your differences, you share a common drive to carve out your own paths.

A polite knock echoes against the door before it opens. Dick pokes his head out with a smile on his face. “Hey, you two. Hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

You shake your head. “Nah, we just finished.” You shoulder your bag over your shoulder. “I was actually about to head out.”

Dick perks up. “Actually, Alfred wanted to know if you would like to stay for dinner.”

Behind you, Damian freezes and narrows his eyes. “As [Name] was just saying, they were leaving–”

“–Actually I think I will stay for dinner,” you grin at Damian. Only a fool would skip out on a chance to taste Alfred Pennyworth’s cooking. Any pokes and prods about your identity you’ll meet head on, and any chance to embarrass Damian is a good chance.

Dick matches your grin, nodding. “I’ll let him know.” He disappears, closing the door and leaving you two alone

Damian scowls. “Whatever you are planning–”

“I have no wrong intentions whatsoever Damian,” you furrow your brows and place a hand on your chest in mock offense. “I’m offended you think so low of me.”

Damian's scowl deepens, clearly not amused by your teasing. "You always have some ulterior motive," he accuses, crossing his arms.

You step closer, looking up at him with a mischievous glint in your eye. "Maybe I just want to enjoy a nice dinner with your family. Is that such a crime?"

He narrows his eyes suspiciously. "Fine. But don't think I won't be watching you."

You smirk playfully. "I wouldn't expect anything less."

With that settled, you follow Damian out of the room and into the sprawling manor once more. The atmosphere shifts slightly as you join Damian and Titus, walking through the grand halls towards the dining room. You can't help but feel a mixture of excitement and curiosity about what dinner with the Wayne family will entail.

When you step into the room your senses immediately buzz with anticipation, jittering around your skull. Just about every single member of the Batfamily is present. Even goddamn Jason Todd is here, helping Alfred set the table. It boosts your ego a little bit. Bruce Wayne greets you as you enter.

“I’m glad we can have you over,” he smiles. “Damian doesn’t have many friends to bring over.”

You snort at Damian’s grunt. You decide not to push Damian's buttons further in front of his family. For now. "Thank you for having me, Mr. Wayne," you reply politely.

Bruce nods back, his smile warm and welcoming. "Please, call me Bruce. Make yourself at home."

You take your seat at the large table, Damian at one side and Dick at the other. Everyone else settles in as well. Alfred serves the meal, a fancy foreign meal you don’t understand the name of. Damian, of course, gets a vegetarian portion of it.

Jason speaks up first. “You gonna introduce us or what?” He asks Damian. He looks about a second way from pulling out a hidden knife from somewhere, so Dick jumps in to save the day.

“This is [Name], they’re Damian’s classmate and…” he pauses for dramatic effect, “...friend!”

The table erupts in chuckles at Dick's teasing, though Damian remains stoic and unamused. You take the opportunity to greet everyone with a friendly smile and a wave.

"It's nice to meet all of you," you say, trying to match their warm reception despite Damian's icy demeanor.

Tim, who's been quietly observing the interaction, finally speaks up. "So, [Name], Damian's told us a bit about you. How's school been treating you?"

You take a moment to collect your thoughts. "It's been... interesting," you reply diplomatically, trying not to reveal too much. "I’m used to online so it’s definitely an experience."

“[Name] takes a ballet class. They are also the lead in the upcoming winter performance,” Damian pipes up, no doubt trying to put you on the spot. Asshole.

Stephanie grins. “No way! Cass does ballet too,” she claps a hand on Cass’s shoulder. Cass nods. She signs ‘what is your favorite move?’ . Barbara opens her mouth, prepared to translate what Cass said, but you beat her to the punch. You respond, fingers moving in practiced efficiency to gesture out your favorite move. Cass grins in approval.

“You know sign?” asks Duke.

“I know a lot of languages,” you smile. It’s true. Many of the Avengers know multiple languages, and they took to teaching you as much as they could. You even learned some Asgardian to impress Thor (he cried). Nat said it was a crucial skill to have.

“Like what?” asks Bruce, leaning in.

You look up as you think. “Russian, Italian, Spanish, some German, some Latin…” you trail off, “...etcetera. My dad has a lot of cool friends.”

A shared look of impressed spreads throughout the room. Bruce hums, “and what about your father? What does he do?”

“He invents things. Right now he’s on vacation. Don’t remember where exactly he said, but he sends me money every now and again.”

Bruce gets a kind of sour look on his face before nodding. “Ah, sounds like quite the character,” Bruce responds with a nod, trying to maintain his composure. You sense there might be more to Bruce's reaction, perhaps his adoption senses are tingling (God forbid). The dinner conversation continues on lighter notes as everyone shares anecdotes and stories, keeping the atmosphere lively.

“Damian says you also like to invent and program things,” pipes up Dick.

“Yeah, I’m actually working on something right now. It’s pretty big, but hopefully it’s works,” you reply vaguely.

“Your father must be very proud of your accomplishments,” Bruce remarks, his tone measured. He gets a couple of side-eyes.

You nod. “Yeah, he always encourages me to pursue my interests. He’s pretty cool like that.”

Barbara chuckles, "It's always good to have interests outside of school. Keeps things exciting."

Tim nods in agreement, sipping his drink. “Yeah, I dabble in programming too. It’s a useful skill to have.”

After a while, Alfred brings out dessert - a decadent chocolate mousse that looks almost too good to eat. Everyone digs in eagerly, sharing their thoughts on the meal and enjoying the dessert in comfortable chatter.

Throughout the evening, you notice Bruce observing you with a mix of curiosity and concern, as if trying to gauge something beyond your words. His occasional glances toward Damian and Dick imply a silent conversation that you're not privy to, though you catch a few knowing looks exchanged between the brothers.

As the dinner winds down, Alfred discreetly clears away the dishes, signaling the end of the meal. You offer to help with the dishes, but Alfred kindly declines, insisting that you're a guest tonight.

Dick stretches contentedly, breaking the comfortable silence that has settled over the table. "Well, it's been great having you over, [Name]. Hope you enjoyed the meal."

"Yeah, thanks for letting me crash dinner," you reply warmly, smiling around the table. "It's been really nice."

Damian stands abruptly. “I believe [Name] should be heading home now,” he states, pointedly ignoring the snickers.

You nod, rising from your seat. "Right. Thanks again for having me, everyone."

“You’re more than welcome to stay the night, [Name],” smirks Tim. “We have plenty of room, though I’m sure Damian would be happy to–” Cass pinches Tim’s ear, interrupting his sentence.

You smile at their antics. “My cat is waiting for me, so I have to pass. I appreciate the offer, though.”

Bruce nods, his expression serious yet not unkind. "Anytime, [Name]. You're welcome here."

With a final round of goodbyes and well-wishes, you follow Damian out of the dining room. The atmosphere between you two is quieter now, the playful tension from earlier replaced by a sense of calm. "You enjoyed yourself tonight," Damian states, more a statement than a question.

You nod, a small smile playing on your lips. "Yeah, your family's pretty entertaining. I like their dynamic.”

There's a moment of silence as you both stand there, the air thick with unspoken thoughts and emotions. You take a step closer, closing the distance between you and Damian. His gaze meets yours, a mixture of intensity and vulnerability that surprises you.

"You know," you begin, your voice low, "I do really like teasing you, Damian. But I also... appreciate our time together." Your heart beats a little faster as you admit this, feeling vulnerable yet strangely liberated.

Damian's expression softens further, a rare vulnerability in his eyes as he looks at you. "I... feel the same," he confesses quietly, almost hesitantly.

Before either of you can say more, the door creaks open, and Dick pokes his head in with a cheeky grin. "Hey, you two. Hate to interrupt, but Alfred’s outside ready to take [Name] home."

Damian straightens abruptly, a hint of irritation flickering across his features. "We'll be there shortly," he replies tersely, clearly annoyed at the interruption.

Dick raises an eyebrow, his grin widening. "Sure thing. Don't keep Alfred waiting too long," he teases before closing the door.

You roll your eyes playfully at Dick's teasing as he disappears, leaving you and Damian alone once more. There's a brief moment where neither of you speaks, the tension palpable in the air. Finally, Damian breaks the silence.

"We should go," he says, his voice low but firm.

You nod in agreement, trying to dispel the awkwardness that has settled between you. "Right. Let's go."

Together, you and Damian make your way out towards the front door of Wayne Manor. The grandeur of the mansion surrounds you, yet it feels less intimidating now, having spent an evening with Damian's family. As you step outside into the cool night air, Alfred waits patiently by the car, ready to drive you home. Damian walks beside you, carrying your stuff, his demeanor slightly tense yet thoughtful.

As you approach the car, Damian walks up to Alfred and mutters to him. Alfred raises a prim brow, handing Damian the keys with a nod. He walks back towards the Manor, where you see the rest of the family either peeking out the door or straight up standing outside looking. You snort. Damian sets your stuff in the backseat, opening the passenger side door for you to enter. You hum in appreciation, sitting inside.

Bruce watches the car drive away, a pinch in his brow.

“I thought Damian liked Jon?” questions Duke.

“He does.” Barbara squints. Tim gestures to the leaving car. “Then what was that?” he asks. Cassandra hums. “He also likes them, he doesn’t know it yet. Or he is just in denial.”

“Well if Cass says it’s so, then it’s so,” nods Stephanie sagely. Alfred leans closer to Bruce. “They may become part of your brood yet.”

"Perhaps," Bruce murmurs quietly, more to himself than to anyone else. Duke leans in, intrigued. "You think they're good for Damian?"

Bruce considers his words carefully before responding. "I think [Name] challenges Damian in ways that are both positive and... complicated."

Inside the car, Damian focuses on the road ahead, his grip tight on the steering wheel. The drive is quiet. You watch as people go on with their lives. Very few people roam the streets at this hour. You steal glances at Damian occasionally, noting the tense set of his jaw and the focused look in his eyes.

As you approach your apartment building, Damian breaks the silence. "I apologize for my family's... curiosity," he says, his voice soft yet tinged with annoyance.

You chuckle softly, shaking your head. "It's alright, Damian. They just want to get to know me better."

Damian parks the car and turns to face you, his expression unreadable. "They can be... overwhelming at times," he admits reluctantly.

"You're lucky to have them," you remark sincerely.

Damian steps out of the car, grabbing your bag and walking you to the front door. The air feels like a stark contrast to the warmth of Wayne Manor. Damian's gaze meets yours, a flicker of something unspoken passing between you. You lean in slightly, hesitating for a moment before pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, just like last night. Damian freezes for an instant, different to his lack of reaction before.

"Goodnight, Damian," you murmur, pulling back slightly.

"Goodnight, [Name]," he replies softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

With a final smile, you close the door behind you. Damian stands there for a moment longer before driving away into the night. As you enter your apartment, you're greeted by the familiar sight of Nari lounging on the couch. Your phone buzzes in your pocket.

‘All of your materials have been delivered to the address.’ is what greets you when you open up Victoria’s chat. You grin, sending a thank you. Your bed feels like heaven as you sink into it. Tomorrow real progress will be made, and you can’t wait.

notes: reader and damian are practically dating already lets be honest they just dont know it yet

#damian wayne x reader #jon kent x reader #robin x reader #superboy x reader #dc x reader

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rinstrumental · 1 year

Text

ellie gf headcanons

# modern au. im in luv with her. this is so long oh my god its an illness

did karate from 1st grade all the way up to high school and basically considers herself your bodyguard

immediately offers you her hoodie without a second thought when you show the slightest signs of being cold. she lets you keep it too, of course. what kind of girlfriend would she be if she didn’t ???!!!!

she needs either your hands on her or her hands on you at all times. sosososo touchy and BIG on pda her kisses are inescapable. constantly has an arm around you or resting on your waist… the whole world needs to know. she’s actually insufferable i’m sorry but in the most endearing way ever how can you resist

“would you still love me if i was a ____???” she wants a serious answer too

genuinely thinks ur the prettiest person alive. which is kind of the bare minimum but she worships you truly

happy with any sort of date as long as it’s with you. fancy dinner? this is the only reason she keeps a suit and tie. staying in? what movie do you want, babe? running errands? she’s already waiting for you in the car!!!

speaking of cars she drives an old station wagon which used to be joel’s. ellie used to moan about how lame it was until you said that the back was perfect for sitting together during camping or stargazing…. and other activities too ;) wink wonk

gets flustered when she makes you flustered because you’re telling her that SHE did that?? she made u nervous??? shit man now shes blushing too

her love language is gifts she loves to spoil you with your favourite snacks and soft toys and even homemade gifts. she just wants you to see her in your room and have her on your mind as much as you’re in hers!!

it’s no secret that she’s an artist and it’s also no secret that her favourite subject to draw is youuu!!! her favourite thing to do is just have you sit across from her and draw what she sees

of course naturally that means she takes tons of pictures of you… to study for her drawings… and keep in her special photo album of you… and to look at when she misses you. Ofc

makes fun of you/teases you sometimes. she can be a mean bitch to other people but she would never actually hurt your feelings and you know that

ellie hates goodbyes. even if it’s after spending a full day together and you’re going to see her soon anyways… i just know she’s the kind of person who feels empty after hanging out with someone.

calls and texts about everything… and it’s always so cute :( she definitely has autocaps on

ellie: I drew you again!!

ellie: Hey babe I saw this funny bird it reminded me of u

ellie: I miss you so much. When can I see you again?

ellie: These cats r like us lol

keeps a pet gecko or something like that for sure. it’s you guys’ baby

her top two movie genres are horror and romance after that. the only reason romance is that high up is because it reminds her of you

does stupid romcom shit like hold a boombox outside your window. makes you mixtapes even though CDs are basically extinct (joel has a player thank god). corny pickup lines. asks you to be her valentine publicly. runs to your house in the rain. dances with you in said rain.

when she gets sick it’s like the end of the world omg… she needs u to be at her side 24/7 and hold her and keep her company and give her get well soon kisses, it’s essential to her recovery. doctors orders. he said it not her!

gets along so well with your friends and family. she does her research and takes this shit seriously! whatever it takes to make you happy because what’s better than watching your girlfriend get along with the people you love

she also takes her own family seriously - family time is important to her and she spends a lot of time with joel. it’s even better when you can join, some of her best memories are with the two of you

“i’m happy as long as you’re happy”

pet names galore. her personal favourite is just babe (classic) but when she likes others too (sweetheart, honey, darling etc she’s so cheesy it’s awful)

in conclusion she’s just a clingy sappy lesbian who’s absolutely head over heels for you. and you wouldn’t have it any other way <33

bonus: (these tweets that are so ellie)

#tlou x reader #tlou fanfiction #ellie x you #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie williams #ellie x y/n #ellie williams x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader

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transmutationisms · 3 months

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genuine but unimportant question: as an educator, knowing all of your stances re: cheating in college and how it's morally ok to not care abt college class material etc, do you ever still feel the need to try really hard to get students to care abt your subject/topic? im not sure what you teach, but would you feel the same for topics like global [x] history or [x] liberation studies or etc? how do you balance between not being bothered by students who just need/want a passing grade, and thinking that the subject matter you teach is something you want others to genuinely learn? is the answer to just accept that the college classroom just isnt the environment for that kind of thing?

it's always yr responsibility as an educator to make the material interesting and accessible and to convey why it matters or is interesting, but that doesn't guarantee that every single student is going to be receptive to it. there are lots of things i think are important or worthwhile yet still lack a personal interest in. i have taken classes on some of them even

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faerishv · 6 months

Note

hellooooooooooooo! I really like your posts. I see you opened a request and..umm..can I place a request for Teru, Akane,Mei (tbhk) x reader who likes to draw and always draws anytime, anywhere. If you don't like it, it's okay…anyway, have a nice day :333

hi anon im glad u like my writings, so sorry for the wait hope youʼll like this post as well, have a nice day / night

teru minamoto

he finds your hobby really interesting and adorable, you have a lot of talent and itʼs good that you practice everyday.

sometimes, when you have nothing to do, he invites you to the students council room and makes you sit beside him, he likes the silence thereʼs in the room while you draw whatever is on your mind while he finishes his work.

his grades are excellent so of course he shines in art class, he gives really good advices on how you can get better with your art, drawing / painting with him is really fun and relaxing.

if you gift him a drawing of him or you two together heʼll make sure to put it in a frame, beside the pictures with his siblings so he can see it everyday; heʼll praise you a lot and maybe gift you a drawing as well, as a thank you.

akane aoi

heʼs literally your number one supporter, always been since the start, he definitely takes pictures to every single drawing u make, even if itʼs just one doodle on the end of your note book or on your arm.

talking about doodling on someoneʼs skin, he will scream like a fan girl if you ask to draw on his arm, it could be anything really: smiling faces, lil shining stars, flowers.. he will cherish them till they completely faid away when heʼs washing himself up he will be sad about it too.

i wouldnʼt try to ask him for suggestions on how to make your art better though, he will always compliment whatever you draw, even if itʼs just a literal stick men, he cannot manage to criticize you and your art.

believe me when i say he will go feral if you draw him or both of you together. Imagine handing him a small drawing of you two holding hands w little hearts as decorations, and each second his face gets more and more red.. heʼll probably stick it to his ceiling, right in front of his bed so that it will be the first thing he sees in the morning and last thing he sees before closing his eyes to sleep.

mei shijima

i think she'd be really amused about the fact that you both like art and spend most of your days drawing, you both support and help eachother when the other needs help or suggestions.

since you two share the same passion, expect to do some works together with shijima, maybe like you both seat in front of eachother and draw the other or draw shared parts of a singular painting, you know things like that if you understood.. where you both have fun.

more than one time, she definitely chose you as her subject for various drawings / paintings for her school's art competitions, and every time she would win, sheʼd give you her art piece for you to keep it.

if you ask her for suggestions on how to get better at drawing, you better be ready cause she will say everything that is on her mind, she doesnʼt say it in a mean way of course but you asked her for art criticism and thatʼs exactly what sheʼll give you

i missed writing for tbhk to be honest, i hope this is what you were waiting for anon ^_^

#anime #jibaku shoujo hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #reader insert #x reader #tbhk x reader #teru minamoto #teru minamoto x reader #teru minamoto x you #teru minamoto x y/n #akane aoi #akane aoi x reader #akane aoi x you #akane aoi x y/n #shijima mei #mei shijima #shijima mei x reader #shijima mei x you #shijima mei x y/n

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communistkenobi · 11 months

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i know next to nothing about queer theory, but i did exist online during (what felt like) huge exclusionary periods (ace discourse, bi/pan discourse, and transmedicalism were the big ones i remember)

i wonder if the first drive for sexuality being something unchangeable and intrinsic to you had something to do with those things, that queerness was fixed and definable, which meant that there were strict lines to be drawn about who was and wasn't gay/lesbian/bi which was only made worse by trans and nonbinary people who didn't exactly fit the previous molds

ill be doubly honest and say i only interacted w/ the community online at the time bc living in a homophobic country doesnt give you a lot of opportunities to meet up in person which means my view of the whole thing is skewed. im not sure if this makes any sense

What I’m about to say isn’t a diagnosis of the causes behind those discourses (partly because i don’t think there is a single reason animating those arguments), but like I guess in general a very baseline authority people fall back on is biology. Dominant reactionary discourses describe being gay trans etc as a lifestyle choice, as an active decision to participate in sexual and gendered degeneracy, and so a very appealing counter-claim to make is to point to biology - we are born this way, we can’t help who we are just as cishet people cannot help who they are, so you should accept us because we can’t change our identity. That rhetorical strategy requires/assumes a stable sexual and gendered ontology, a primary authority of the body that can’t be altered. While I believe this argument is fundamentally flawed, I think this is a straightforwardly easy argument to make re: sexual orientation. With trans and non-binary people this is more difficult because the foundational claim to our existence is that gender is mutable, is alterable, is subject to change (and also “I’ve felt this way since I was a child” is a pathological model of gender dysphoria that is enforced through medical and psychiatric institutions, not a reflection of lived reality for many, many trans and non-binary people). That doesn’t necessarily mean being transgender is a “choice” (although if someone said they woke up one day and chose to be transgender then that is a perfectly authentic justification), especially because “choice” in these discussions is often framed as individualised, private, detached from the social world - we are all just free agents making rational autonomous decisions in a field of equally rational choices, etc. which I think is a very impoverished way to understand choice and agency. Gender is an institution, it is a set of behaviours and performances that we choose to engage in in many different ways, and my use of the word ‘choice’ there does not imply these choices are free from coercion, violence, or harm. I chose to transition, I chose to engage in performances and behaviours that signal to the social world that I am a man - where that desire to make those choices arises from is another matter, and honestly not one I’m super interested in figuring out. Like if I discovered the ‘origin’ of my transness it wouldn’t make any difference to me. Similarly, how I choose to signal masculinity is very obviously bound up in dominant gendered assumptions. Trans people get accused of upholding gendered norms a lot, but that’s only because we aren’t taken seriously unless we do so! It is a survival mechanism that allows us to better navigate incredible amounts of violence and social exclusion, and arguing that our desire to do gender with our bodies comes from some grade-school assumption that dress = woman and pants = man or whatever is pure projection on the part of cis people. cis men think if they drink pink wine they’ll become gay - trans people are not the ones enforcing these norms here.

Getting a bit far afield here, so to loop back around - I think a stable state of sexual and gendered subjectivity or “being” is very appealing to a lot of people because it’s a way to dismiss reactionary fears and to justify to yourself that your oppression is entirely out of your control (which is true obviously!). Again I think these arguments are flawed because they buy into cisgendered and heteronormative ideas about gender and sexuality, that it is a biological burden imposed on us, that deviance is not a choice, that gender is done to us as opposed to being gendered agents, that we are similarly trapped in a sexual prison and should be accepted on those grounds, etc, but they have massive rhetorical power.

As I’ve said before I’m a pretty staunch believer in Butler’s assertion that it is social all the way down, that gender is not discoverable in the body but rather the body is the medium through which gender is done in the world. Cis people choose to do gender just as much as trans people do! The only difference is that institutional architecture is set up to facilitate and make invisible (in very misogynistic and racist ways) those gendered practices. I think the stronger counter argument to make is that cis- and het-normativities are deeply violent and miserable status quos that need to be dismantled and discarded, that true choice can only emerge vis a vis gender and sexuality once those institutions are abolished, and that choice is actually a desirable end-goal - I want people to be able to participate in gender and sexuality as free agents, as non-coercive practices that are sites of great joy and wonder and pleasure. And this world is only possible if we accept that there is no gendered or sexual ontology, that it is all smoke and mirrors, that this current system’s primary function is to reproduce the nuclear family, to maintain the hereditary nature of class and wealth and race, to provide a standardised system of labour division, to maintain a distinction between the public and private labour realms, and so on.

So again like, is this what animates discourses about who gets to be counted as lgbtq/queer/whichever label you want to use? I don’t know. Probably some of it has to do with that. Queerness is in party a pathological category that is used to describe a failure to meaningfully reproduce cishet norms and practices, it is a set of relationships you have to legal and political and medical and administrative institutions (which is especially true for trans/non binary people). I like this definition because built into it is the possibility of change - I do not want trans people to be assimilated into cishet society, I want society to become transgender, thereby making transgender an irrelevant medical and legal category of person. Much like communism aims to abolish class by universalising the proletariat, I want to abolish gender by universalising the legal and political and medical mechanisms of transition. Only then will cisgenderism be abolished.

One thing I have been thinking a lot about is something a friend said to me, which is that human rights to do not begin with a definition of human - in the same way, I think trans rights do not require a definition of transgenderism. Just universalise and de-pathologise the mechanisms through which transition is expressed. Make it easy to change your name, remove all barriers to hormones and surgery, make everyone economically secure enough that they can change their wardrobe however they please, desegregate all gendered spaces, de-gender clothing, remove gender markers from all documents, and so on and so on. Doing so would make both cisgender and transgender an irrelevant legal and political category and, again, allow choice to emerge as a meaningful mechanism of gender expression.

This isn’t a comprehensive policy platform, there are many things I’m sure I haven’t thought through and a large portion of this discussion has to contend with the colonial and white supremacist nature of the western binary gender (bringing us into discussions of decolonial efforts, socialist efforts, and so on), but this is already getting long and I feel like I’m rambling. But like fundamentally I believe in a radical political imaginary that argues that all of this is subject to change and therefore any arguments about an essential gendered or sexual being is, at the end of the day, a reactionary description of gender and sexuality

#asks #even old new york was once new amsterdam #effortpost #um. hope that makes sense lol #DO NOT START ARGUING ABOUT THIS IN THE NOTES BTW. FUCK OFF I AM NOT DOING ‘DISCOURSE’ ABOUT WHO COUNTS AS LGBTQ #I reject the premise of the question genuinely I think it is fundamentally irrelevant to our liberation

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literaila · 2 years

Text

a virus

tasm!peter x fem!reader

summary:

“did you try turning it off and then back on?”

“three times.”

warnings: peter is an asshole, reader is an asshole (a great paring i assure you)

a/n: this was a work in progress. and now it is out on the internet. because i need storage and you need some of my sarcastic comments

in all fairness, you were a little bit stressed.

and by a little bit stressed—depending on a paper for 30% of your grade without any internet.

or a computer that worked.

and of course, the lack of any manners.

"did you try turning it off and then back on?"

if you were going to try anything it would be banging your head against your desk until you properly erased any record of your existence.

"three times."

the man--who by the way, left you on hold for five minutes--hums. "what'd you say you were doing?"

"trying to write a research paper."

"on sketchy websites?"

you take a deep breath. you try and avoid yelling at this man through the microphone. “from a bunch of google approved websites,” you say, voice tight. “what can i do to get it working?”

“it sounds like you have a virus.”

“great," you drawl because this conclusion had not occurred to you. "what do i do?”

the man is silent for about thirty seconds, and then:

“i can get you an appointment to bring your computer in sometime in the next week.”

“what can i do to get it working tonight?”

there’s a quick huff of air. “do you know how to code?”

“are you serious?”

“that was rhetorical.”

if this man didn’t sound completely nonchalant, about the age of a fifty-year-old—meaning your age—and had any more attitude than he does, you would hang up.

if your paper wasn’t due tomorrow, you would hang up.

“i need my computer tonight.”

“you could try walmart.”

“aren’t you supposed to be helpful?”

the man laughs like this is funny. “sorry, i’m a bit out of practice. most people don't click on the link a random ‘banker’ sends them.”

“i didn’t click on anything.”

“you have a virus.”

“i’m really bad with computers. i’m pretty sure i’m incapable of clicking anything.”

“apparently not.”

“can't you do anything? you’re smart.”

“you assume that because i got this job that i’m smart?”

“okay. you’re supposed to know what to do.”

“i could fix it,” this man says, “if i was there.”

he also hates you.

“okay, great. just tell me what to do.”

“i already asked if you knew how to code…”

you groan and fall over in your seat.

he laughs again. “you could ask for an extension.”

“an extension,” you repeat because you obviously haven't thought of that.

you obviously don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.

“for whatever you’re working on.”

“because that’s how life works. are you going to ask for an extension to fix my computer?”

“im just saying.”

“no. i already got the extension.”

“you already got the extension?”

this man thinks you’re an idiot.

he’s also got a very nice voice.

“there were some… personal problems. my professor was nice enough to make an exception.”

“but not nice enough to do it twice?”

“it feels wrong to ask.”

“did it feel wrong to put it off until tonight?”

you pause. looking for an argument that isn’t there. “you need to work on your customer service.”

he laughs. “so i’ve been told.”

and you stop.

you think about all of the possible solutions to this problem.

and the man who you have subjected to your irresponsibility.

“i’m sorry,” you whisper, knowing that he can hear. “i’m being rude. i’m just stressed.”

“it’s okay. you’d be surprised how many people yell at me each night.”

“i don’t think i would."

he laughs. his voice is smooth and warm. a bed to fall into and sleep until eternity. “what’re you working on, again?“

“a research paper.”

“is it done? are you just editing? because there are libraries open all night.”

“no. i thought it was, but there’s a… it doesn’t matter. and it's cold.”

“you have more research to do?”

“yeah.”

“is it a lot?”

“no,” you say. “not really.”

there’s a brief pause.

he might’ve hung up already.

but then the man whispers, “okay.”

you wait.

“what should i look up?”

"wikipedia."

"just click on it."

"this is how you got the virus."

you sigh again, fingers tapping restlessly on your desk.

you've been sitting here for the past twenty minutes, waiting for this boy to listen to you.

he hasn't, of course. it turns out that you both share the lack of social ability. because you can't seem to be nice to him, and in return, he understands none of this.

but he's pleasent enough. he laughs at your absurdity instead of mocking it.

and you've already thanked him more than once.

"i wouldn't have a virus if someone was better at his job--"

"--that's a strange thing to say to someone helping you--"

"now, will you just read me the quote?"

"you're stressed about a research paper in which you're using wikipedia as one of your sources?"

"i'm stressed about failing out of college."

"that's not really how it works," the boy says because he's infuriating.

but also nice. because he's been sitting here arguing with you and still hasn't hung up.

even when you threatened to steal his computer.

nonetheless.

"i know how it works. what does it say?"

"it says 'find another source.'"

you are silent. you type a million curse words into the text on your phone. swear to whatever god is laughing at you right now that you will get them back.

swear that you're going to go to bed right now and face the actual consequences of procrastination.

or you'll fake your death. either way.

"i'm not going to help you bomb an essay," the boy scoffs. "i'm gonna go look at the websites linked."

"or you could just do what i say."

"who's the one with the computer here?"

"...what does it say?"

"i disagree."

"you disagree on the undeniable brilliance of footloose?"

you spin around in your chair, smile slightly unnerving. "i disagree that you have good opinions."

"says she who has broken her computer."

this boy has a warm voice. he has a slightly teasing tone, even when he's attempting to be serious. and in the short time that you've known him, you've already picked up on the sardonic voice. different from his sarcasm.

"the internet broke my computer."

"the internet is a very noble place. it would never. now, scammers on the other hand..."

"i understood about three percent of what you just said."

he laughs, microphone muffled as something moves in the background. "okay, so you hate good movies. noted. what do you think about good tv shows?"

"like what?"

"um," he pauses. "friends."

"i really hope you didn't just say that to me."

"there's a reason that it's popular."

"that reason would be conventional attractiveness combined with stupidity."

"or that it's really good."

"you know, i know a really good doctor. he can help you."

any research paper that you may or may not have almost finished is forgotten.

instead, you've been talking to this boy--the boy who refused to help you fix your computer and instead has monopolized this conversation completely--for the last hour.

about movies and school and winter break. leaving and never coming back.

anything, really.

he is surprisingly easy to talk to. easy to laugh at.

and, of course, you're completely delirious because it's four am and you have a paper due in the morning. but, at this current moment, it doesn't seem to matter.

you want coffee.

"maybe you should give him a call," this boy says. "not for me. just... to chat."

"i am very mentally stable," you say, thank you very much.

"you threatened me earlier."

"an un-rare occasion, i'm sure."

the boy laughs because there's something funny about that. "i'm very likable." he mocks your tone.

"again with the opinions..."

"i can't just not share them."

"you can actually. you really can."

and you, apparently, can't hang up.

"no."

"wow. and i thought we were getting close."

"as usual, you're wrong."

he laughs. "this is ironic, coming from you."

"i'm hanging up."

"you still need to finish your research."

you scoff, throwing another piece of paper at the wall.

it's not a waste, merely art.

"i just have to finish the citation. easy."

"that is definitively the hardest part."

"maybe for you, tech guy."

he laughs again, softer this time.

you've both gotten quieter. laughter is a mere whistle in the wind.

and your throat is a bit sore.

you've been talking to this man for four hours.

"how long are you supposed to be on the line?"

"it's available until two in the morning."

"it's almost six."

"yeah."

"you've just been sitting here talking to me?"

"well, it's not really worth it to go to bed anymore."

"yeah."

something lingers.

"i'm peter, by the way."

peter, you think. you wonder nothing about him. you think nothing of the name.

you think about walking around campus until you accidentally run into someone.

"y/n," you say.

he echoes your name back to you.

part two

my masterlist here.

tags: @moonlarking-blog @v1ci0us @preciousbabypeter @alexxavicry @directioner5life @inthegetawaycarwithtaylah @localrockstargf @thestudiouswanderer @take-my-hand-time-boy @thoughtsofagodlovingsunflower @nyomjoon @raindropstearsandtea @rqmanoff

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wikitpowers · 5 months

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As an official Kit enthusiast what do you think his favourite school subject is?

IS THAT MY TITLE NOW? BC IM IN LOVE AHAHAHA! THAT’S THE COOLEST!

official kit enthusiast by order of the queen🎖️

↳ that was silly i apologise (but not really,,, i'm funny as hell what can i say)

ANYWAYS KIT'S FAVOURITE SUBJECT HMM i gotta say he seems like he would be into the more artsy subjects like music and art like he would slay it for sure and he definitely has a lovely singing voice!

OH! but i also really wanna say he would absolutely crush history and english lit purely bc he has the best supportive parents ever (jessa rules) and they help him w/ his homework + kit actually enjoys learning about it a lot and i get the feeling he probably gets the best grades in his class lmao

#like tessa for sure educates him on all the classics bc she was around when they were released im-#that's so funny and wholesome oml #petition for kit to take up violin at school so he can makes jem feel all lovely and warm #that would be so cute and jem would be so chuffed awwww #I also like to think he draws fairly well #and he brings some of his school work back for mina to look at #ALSO YES IK HE WOULD ACE PE #BUT THAT SEEMED TOO OBVIOUS #HE'S A SHADOWHUNTER C'MON #so i just went with the other subjects :]#kit herondale #the wicked powers #twp #tsc #asks

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familyabolisher · 2 years

Note

can you explain the tlt/sexual violence connection at like, a 7th grade reading level? (or - you’re British right? idk what year that would be but it’s the grade where you’re 12-13) i struggle with reading comprehension and im trying to get better at reading long/intricate text but a lot of your posts just end up confusing me when I try to read them 😅 thank you

sure, i'll do my best. i’ve bolded the ‘key’ parts and i’ve tried to keep this to just a few paragraphs, so hopefully that makes it a little clearer?

At the heart of how Tamsyn Muir writes about interpersonal relationships is the suggestion that the necromancer-cavalier relation emerges from the discourse of Nabokov's Lolita. I wrote in-depth about this reading here, but the gloss of it is: John uses Annabel Lee to explicate and rhetorically bolster the relationship between himself and Alecto, which is similarly used by Humbert Humbert in Lolita explaining his relationship to Dolores Haze (and the 'nymphet' in general). Muir has written in the past about Lolita, such that I find it impossible to believe that she would reference Annabel Lee without intending to usher in Nabokov's novel as a possible interpretation. From the John-Alecto blueprint emerges every other necromancer-cavalier relationship we see; though each is of course individuated, the current of power and subjectivity running through each retains the same base shape, and that power/subjectivity current emerges from Humbert and Dolores in Lolita. This sets the stage for relationships that are pretty explicitly abusive and predatory (Cytherea and Gideon; Harrow and Gideon; Ianthe and Coronabeth) to be understood not as aleatory happenstances, but as epiphenomena relative to, and consistent within, a social order that sanctions and facilitates and even demands such a practice.

What this does is suggest that a relationship can be drawn between the conditions of sexual abuse and the conditions of (imperialist) hegemony; if what Humbert did to Dolores Haze (pedophilic rape, in short, on particular aesthetic terms) can be expanded upon, systematised, and used as the base for a society-wide set of relations that ultimately exist with intent to sustain an imperial order, what questions can we start asking about those relations? What lies at the heart of this is the idea that sexual violence, sexual abuse, is a currency of the hegemonic order, and that this abuse is made possible not only through particular normative social relations but through the backing of the dominant culture affirming and normalising (and thus invisibilising) the process by which this abuse takes place. This is an idea that also occurs in Nabokov, who crafts Humbert's abuse of Dolores around a fictive, composite "Lolita" emerging from the legacy of a number of women from the literary canon: Annabel Lee, Lenore, Beatrice, Botticelli's Venus, Virginia Clemm Poe, Petrach's Laura, to name a few. In short: what is the relationship between the aesthetics of imperialism, the enactment of imperialist conquest, and the social facilitation of sexual abuse?

The key development Muir makes in relating the subjectivity of Alecto (as Dolores Haze) back to the other subjectivities in which she deals comes from the parallels she draws between Alecto and other characters. A strong example of this is Kiriona, paralleled with Alecto at a number of points that I list off in the linked essay. In rendering John's 'creation' of Alecto as functionally equivalent to Humbert's 'creation' of Lolita, which we understand to be a process of rape, and then making the 'creation' of Alecto equivalent to the 'creation' of Kiriona, Muir suggests at a number of things. Firstly, that rape and the deliberate destruction of the Earth are the same, which I've always read as a play on the double meaning of 'rape' as 'sexual assault' and 'pillage'; secondly, that this twinned process 'creates' the valorised subject position that we see Alecto occupy, one similar to 'Lolita''s and one denoting (in short) normative white femininity and its currency under capitalism; thirdly, that to this enactment of rape-plunder-killing-creation of the subject can be added the creation of the imperial weapon, which is the position that Kiriona takes up, and arguably the crux of cavalierhood as a state of subjectivity as a whole.

Other examples of this parallel process include John's relationship to Harrow, which in my opinion threads in the relationship between Catholic imperialism via proselytisation and the language of 'fatherhood'/paternity being used to describe the language between the Christian God and his subjects. A crucial throughline here is the question of if we are to understand the position of 'father'/'fatherhood' not as one of safety but as one of violence, how does that change our relationship to the language of fatherhood as used to describe God? God as 'the father' when the father carries out an imperialist crusade of sorts hearkens back to Humbert Humbert as the incestuous pedophilic rapist able to enact his violence via the social relation of fatherhood.

(I focused on Lolita here because I find it the easiest framework to explain my thoughts, but I think you can make sense of this reading even without using Nabokov as a guide? I think it's very textually substantiated that John's relationship to various others – Alecto, Harrow, Kiriona – is one of abuse, so it's about using that as a starting-point to unpick the rest of the discourse.) There are some other key questions going into this – I think, for example, John himself being indigenous has some v crucial significance and I wouldn't claim a 1:1 analogy to Nabokov's Humbert, rather a development with significant caveats – but hopefully this is a clearer summary?

#ask #tlt #nona the ninth spoilers

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hakusins · 2 months

Note

Can you share to the class your love for Egyptian Mythology? The crowd wants to know your favourites 🎤

HBJERFBHJERFBHJERBFHB REFJBBERHJBERFJH PLEASE??? I HAVE TOO MUCH ON MY MIND PLSSS. funny enough, im actually not the most knowledgeable about egyptian mythology beyond the extensive understanding of their belief of how the afterlife worked in egyptian mythology JHBREFERF

BUT with that being said, i actually got into egyptian mythology first before i got into greek mythology. I remembered it was sometime during 5th grade, we had to pick out a book from the library and i picked out egyptian mythology because i was a bit curious and also cause everyone else took all the other books like geronimo stilton and road dahl books JHERFJBEJHRF AND LET ME TELL YOU I WAS HOOKED!! but then years went by and i got into greek mythology a lot more, so yes my memory for egyptian mythology is now solely centered on ENNEAD.

first off, big shotout to my friend Wispy, who introduced both ENNEAD and DOL to me. Would never have as much fun as I am having now had it not been for them. but yes with that being sad let me go on and ramble.

first off, i have to say first and foremost my biggest crush has always been Anubis, the god of the dead. I HAD ALWAYS have a crush on him, I always thought he was SO SO SO cool and he was so unique. AND LET ME TELL YOU ENNEAD JUST MADE THAT CRUSH SO SO MUCH WORSE. like look at my boyfriend okay look.

(small warning: ENNEAD is a BL novel that deals with super dark themes. Ofc, you'd be able to skirt around such themes by reading the 16+ version. There's a 19+ version that I much prefer. Please read at your discretion.)

HBJERBFJJEBRFJERF THE WAY THIS MAN HAS ME ON MY KNEES!!! MAKING ME BARK LIKE A DOG, ACTING LIKE A GODDAMN FOOL!!!!!!! LIKE DAMN!!!! DO YOU SEE HIM, ANON DO YOU SEE HIM !!!!!!! ARE YOU LOOKING AT HIM RIGHT NOW ARE YOU LOOKING ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE LOOKING!!!! LOOK AGAIN! AND LOOK ONE MORE TIME AT THIS MAGNIFICENT FUCKINGHJTGJHRTJGRTGRTG makes my asexuality look like. afuckin joke.

but yes i like Anubis. a healthy amount. but i find him to be so so entertaining.

I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO TALK ABOUT TBH HEFJBEJHRF its a bit harder to talk about Egyptian mythology, because i haven't touched up on the subject in a while, but I would love to discuss anything about this topic!! Im very open to it !!!!

#ask dean #dean replies #probably not as deep or as comprehensive as my greek myth ask #but hey #at least you can't say i don't love egyptian mythology HBERBFBHJREF #i actually had a crush on anubis for the longest time #HBJRFBEBJRF #its funny what a man with death themes and dark hair can do to a girl HBERFBERF #anonymous

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spelllingandthemysteryschool · 1 year

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I need advice which im not sure how much u can help me since I know all schools are different, but im a very broke (transfer) uni student & im thinking about becoming an English tutor since I’ve always gotten As in English. Im a bit scared because English is subjective up to a point (I know essays follow a formula and such) and I don’t want students getting a bad grade because I gave them bad advice for writing their papers :-( anyway I think im just asking for tips on how to be a potentially good tutor?

omg so honored you’re asking me this... i realize i took a while to answer so i hope i can still be of some use to you!

i personally worked at my university’s writing center, which meant there was a mandatory rhetoric/pedagogy course i had to take as i first began tutoring students—i found it to be immensely helpful and reassuring during that first semester of work. depending on your personal situation, you may not end up doing the same, but i would still highly recommend engaging with some pedagogical theory before/as you become a peer tutor... i think that it truly gives u a solid framework that is essential in this line of the work and bolsters your confidence in yourself! so um... sorry to assign u homework hehe but here are a few of the readings that helped me & defined my approach towards engaging with my students and proffering feedback on their assignments:

the banking concept of education by paulo freire from ways of reading: an anthology for writers

chapter 3: the tutoring process from the allyn and bacon guide to peer tutoring

chapter 16: writing comments on students’ papers from engaging ideas: the professor’s guide to integrating writing, critical thinking, and active learning in the classroom

learning to praise by donald a. daiker

on students’ rights to their own texts: a model of teacher response by lil brannon and c.h. knoblauch

i found that as i tried to put a lot of these ideas into practice during my sessions with students, i got a hang of the fundamentals of english tutoring fairly quickly & it turned into really exciting, rewarding work. i hope that it’s the same for you & i’m wishing u the best of luck! 💝

#asks #ref

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 months

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A little advice and rant (because for some reason writing things here makes me feel better and hopefully doesn't, in-turn makes your mood somber)

Do you have days when you feel unproductive? What do you do?

This feels embarrassing to admit but I used to be one of those kids who got full marks in school and like the first year in college and now I can feel all that slipping away. I constantly feel like my parents are always disappointed in me. If they call me out, I lash out at them. The fact that I'm writing this is idk humiliating me, but I can't just keep it inside me anymore. Now I feel like I was never smart, I was just really good at faking it and now I'm not? I'm tired of faking it... what scares me is how i have started excepting what I am. It just terrifies me sometimes seeing what I have become. I feel angry when I tell this to a friend and they tell me oh ur smart ul make it and I just wanna scream at them like NO CANT YOU SEE IT IM NOT.

I'm glad you can come talk to me about stuff. I've always liked being someone people can talk to.

I do have days that I feel unproductive, but what you're describing sounds like a phase (for the lack of a better word).

As someone who was also the straight-A student in school, I always felt like school was... easier. College is something that is genuinely difficult in terms of the content we learn, the way we learn, the way we are taught, and our peers too. So, firstly, don't be too hard on yourself if you're struggling in college because it's supposed to be a little difficult.

Secondly, college gets harder every year—quite literally. So I think comparing yourself to your grades (or the amount of energy you had) during your first year to now is unfair to you. We don't have infinite amounts of energy and fucks to give. We do have finite amounts of passion for sure. These things get drained slowly, especially as we grow up. So that's why it's so important to study/work on things we enjoy and are passionate about so it's a little easier for us.

As someone whose self-esteem is very much tied to their intelligence, I understand you deeply. I once had a panic attack (a bad one) in my college bathroom when I found out I got a B in a subject. I remember my mom laughing and being like, "That's it? You're so dramatic," when I felt like I was literally collapsing.

So, I get you. I understand the need to be smart. But what I have moved away from is trying to measure my smartness through my grades. Because guess what? Grades don't fucking matter when you leave school/uni. It's not how we judge ourselves or our abilities. Now once you leave school/uni. It is a ridiculous system, and we mustn't let it make us feel shit about ourselves.

Just because you are not getting the same grades you used to, it doesn't mean you're not smart anymore. You do realize you literally know more than you did 2 or 3 years ago? You know more than you did a month ago? You are literally getting smarter every day. Just because it's not reflected in your grades doesn't mean you're not smart.

The fact that your grades are slipping could be because of so many things. The exam marking styles could have changed, the teachers could've become stricter, the subject might be harder, or maybe you have more difficulty remembering details because you are older and your brain has more things to focus on now. It could be any number of things. These are all things you can work on and improve.

There are lots of ways you can do this. Consider using a new learning style. I was always someone who learned visually, and I experimented with auditory learning in uni and realized voices are actually easier to remember than visuals (especially when I got older and could focus better). You can learn with others. It's okay to think of yourself as smart, but don't ever think you're the smartest person in the room - that shit is bad for you. So if you're struggling, look at the people who are not. Ask them to help. It doesn't make you stupid or small. Asking for help is the smartest thing anyone who wants to survive can do.

These are all things you can do to "get better" and go back to those standards you have set for yourself.

But from my heart, I tell you, don't try to live up to the standards you set for yourself when you were in school. The way you judged yourself in school cannot be the same system you judge yourself as an adult. It's two completely different lives, and trying to live up to those standards will only make you feel shit about yourself.

For what it's worth, I don't think you were faking it before. People don't feel so guilty and bad about losing something they faked. If this is something you want to fix and get back to those old grades, then like I said, try new things and see what works and what doesn't. But if you don't want to try too hard, that's okay too. It's not something to be ashamed about. I think the standards we set for ourselves should be based on our current realities, not our past or our future.

I am sure you will figure this one out and will feel like yourself again. You are smart. I have faith in you. You got this.

PS - Not to condone violence, but it's impossible to feel smart when the people around you make you feel stupid, so I don't blame you for lashing out at your parents. If their lack of support is making things worse, you need to tell them. If they want you to be smart, then they better act like it too.

Love 💜

#support

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wonopia · 3 months

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THE PHOTOBOOTH | 002. TUTOR

[WC] . 1900 prev ! mlist ! next

around 8 am, misaki already at school, sitting at her desk finishing up some homework she wasn't able to get done at home due to work.

"misa," ryu greeted her, pulling a seat up near her friend, "what are you doing?"

"working on our english language coursework."

"oh my god, can you help me with that?" she asked as she began to slide a notebook out of her bag, placing it on the desk.

"as long as you help me with korean studies," misa shot back with a smile, pulling the notebook open beside her own.

"of course," ryujin said happily.

a fun fact about they’re friend group, they all have certain subjects their really good at and some they aren't and so they help each other out. misa is good at science and language courses (as for english), ryujin is good at korean studies + geography (history), wonyoung is good at math- including yeonjun. as for jeongin and beomgyu, they love photograhy. for kai, kai excels at korean language, and they host study group sessions thats normally hosted at misa's house.

"also what’d you get for your after school activity?" ryujin asked after a while of misa teaching her why its easier to mix words together such as you with will, are- and every different way to say you are. in the end she surprisingly understood quite a lot.

"i put haiku, what about you?"

"i put music," ryu nodded, finishing up her work, "why’d you pick haiku?"

misa paused in thought, "well even though my strong suit is not korean language, i think im better working on something more poetic. plus its part of my culture."

"well when you make your first haiku," she started, "send it to me!"

misaki smiled at her due to ryu’s wide smile, "will do, now finish your work."

ryujin chuckled at her before writing. eventually the class started and next thing you know, the lunch bell is ringing. misaki cleaned up her desk a little bit before walking out of her classroom, someone calling out to her.

"choi misaki!" it was her advisor.

"mrs. kim, how are you?" misa asked, walking up to her.

"i’m doing great," she responded, "do you have some time to spare?"

"uh yeah."

"before i tell you," she started, "how’s college viewing going?"

"we haven’t gone yet, the college viewing is in 2 weeks," she told her with a small smile.

"oh where are you guys going? or should i say... where'd you apply to visit for your four days?" mrs. kim questioned.

"um i put seoul national university, yonsei university, sungkyunkwan university, and pusan national university."

"what do you want to study?" she conversed.

"uh.." she paused, almost hesitant, "fashion design or architecture."

"hm, thats surprising because you excel is certain classes and others not as good," misaki slowly nodded, "you’re not interested in anything that has to do with science?"

"nothing really caught my eye," she told her advisor, "none of them seemed interesting or worth doing, in my opinion."

"i see.. but you definitely want to do something with measurements and lengths. your grades are not bad so i’m sure you can do it but since you excel more in science, i expected something else."

misaki stayed silent, standing beside mrs. kims desk.

"anyways," she said, starting a new topic, "i called you hear to ask if you were interested in doing a job here at school. it just involves you staying on campus longer."

"what’s the job?" misa asked since she is definitely in need of some money.

"after school tutoring, you get paid ₩20,030 a session and you get a bonus of ₩13,353 every A they get in a subject."

in misaki's eyes, it was a steal. there wasn't really a down side since it was on campus, she didn’t have to rush anywhere, but at jamba she had to rush to the mall every late afternoon.

"they particularly need help in english since it is your strong suit and for them.. not so much," mrs. kim added, "in return, he can teach you photography."

"photography?" misaki asked, not entirely understanding.

"you signed up for photography," she told her, "for your after school course."

misa gave her a confused look. mrs. kim searched through piles of papers before handing one to her, "look, your name is signed up for photography."

"oh," she mumbled.

"did you want to change it?"

"oh, no no its okay. i had totally forgotten that i signed up for an after school course," she lied. in fact she knew exactly who signed her up for that.

"so would you like to do tutoring as a job?" she asked.

before misaki could even properly think it through, she agreed.

as soon as misaki entered the cafeteria, she immediately spotted the boy and once she reached their table she sat down aggressively in front of him.

"you cow!" she cursed, "you signed me up for photography without asking me!?"

"what are you talking about?" beomgyu scoffed, "you’re the one that told me to sign you up."

"what?"

"the day we were all signing up, i said i was going to go sign up for photography and you said you wanted to do it too."

"i wasn’t talking to you! i was talking to kai," misa argued, "we were both gonna sign up for haiku."

"ohh!" he gasped, "well you could go change it."

"no because mrs. kim already made arrangements for me to get extra credits for learning photography with this one kid i’m supposably tutoring." the conversations tension lowered, now involving the whole table.

"you’re tutoring?" wonyoung lightly gasped with her mouth full of stir-fried noodles.

"also, here's your lunch," ryujin said, pushing misa's lunch box her way.

"oh my gosh, i forgot about that. thanks, ryu."

"of course!"

"since when did you want to do tutoring?" gyu asked, "plus its the start of the second semester."

"i never really wanted to do tutoring, she offered it and when she brought up me getting paid, i immediately was hooked."

"how much are you getting paid?" ryu asked, curious if she should sign up to be a tutor.

" ₩20,030 a session and i get a bonus of ₩13,353 for every A they get in a subject," misa told them, opening up her lunch box.

"not gonna lie, that’s a good deal," wonyoung nodded, "i should ask to be a math tutor."

"go for it, girl," misa encouraged, wonie laughed shaking her head.

"but what about jamba?" ryu butted in.

"oh yeah," gyu nodded, "are you quitting?"

"probably," misa sighed, "i’ve been thinking about it for a while now, especially since i should focus more on my studies. i’m not even sure of what i want to do in the future and we're already juniors."

"it’s okay, you still have a while til you gotta decide that," gyu assured her, "but on the topic of colleges, what colleges did you guys sign up for?"

"seoul national univers-"

ryujin was interrupted by gyu, "oh my gosh same!"

"let her finish, gyu," misa laughed before eating up her bulgogi.

"seoul national university for the first day, yonsei, sungkyunkwan, and chonbuk national," ryu finished.

"i picked the first two and last one but i also asked to go see pusan university."

"no way!" misa gasped, smacking beomgyu’s shoulder lightly, "we're going to be together for all four days!"

"what!" he yelled is disbelief.

"i wish i was a grade 2 so bad!" wonie sobbed hysterically, "while you guys are off on field trips for four days straight, i’ll be in class."

"sorry wonie, but you could always message me imessage games if you’re bored!" misaki teased.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

once the last period bell rang, misaki collected all of her items and left some of her books inside of her desk before making her way to the library. ryujin walked with her until they passed the music room, her stop.

"bye ryu! tell yeonjun i said hi."

"got it! have fun tutoring," she laughed, misa rolled her eyes before peeking her head in huening kai’s classroom. as if lucky, kai's class was right down the hall from the music room.

"kai!" she called out, he looked her way as he was packing up his books, "i'll walk you to haiku on the way to the library."

"i thought you signed up for after school haiku too?" he asked while walking over to her.

they walked side by side in the hallway as it started to empty, students walking to their after school activities. the library and the haiku room are in the second building.

once they took the stairs down to the first floor, misa had already finished explaining why she was heading to the library.

"well either way, you’re going to be spending a lot of time with beomgyu."

"i wish grade 3's were allowed to go on college viewings with us!" she complained, "it would be so fun walking around college campus's with most of the group because it would have you, innie, and jun with us."

"yeah but by the end of this summer, we're already gonna be in college," hyuka told her.

he opened the door to building one before opening the door to building two.

"what colleges did you apply to?"

"i applied to seoul university, if i get accepted there then i would immediately just go," he said, "the other options are just backups."

"so it’s your dream college?" she asked.

"i guess you could say that.." he mumbled in thought, "what about you, do you know where you wanna go for college?"

"still not sure. its between seoul national university, sungkyunkwan, and pusan national and for my fourth one i said yonsei as my backup. i know i want to go to one of those," she told him, "oh and heres my stop."

"have fun tutoring," he laughed, "never once had i expected you to want to be a tutor," he started to whisper as she pushed open the door.

"see you later, hyuka."

"later, misa!"

she walked in and brought herself to the librarian. it was a girl she knew, minji.

"oh hey minji."

"hey misaki, what brings you to the library?" she asked.

"i’m starting to tutor someone and i was wondering if mrs. kim told you if there was a certain study room i was assigned to?"

"oh yes," she nodded, getting up from her seat, "she told me to write it down," she pulled a paper out from under the desk before telling me to sign the check in box, "its to check if you even showed up."

"i’m guessing my 'to be tutored' hasnt arrived yet," misa guessed upon looking at the empty box on the paper. minji shook her head in response.

"i’ll see you later, minji," misa waved as she headed for the room number that was labelled on the paper.

she eventually found study room #5 and walked in. she'd been in here a couple times with her best friends when they couldn't go to someone’s house.

she sat down and took off her backpack, taking out her notebook and a pencil, waiting for them to arrive. after a couple minutes she could see someone in the corner of her eye at the door, it was 'photobooth guy'.

note: don't like how i wrote this but it's okay!!

open TAGLIST. @coffeeprincejaehyun @hoonatic

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