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slutshamethesquirrels · 3 months

Text

All The Sweet Tea In Carolina

Pairing: cowboy!geto x reader

TW/CW: historical inaccuracies, smut, rough sex, choking, gagging, mentions of guns, mdni

Description: Restless and duty-bound, you are set to begin courting with one very handsome Nanami Kento come morning. However, your heart belongs to another, who may change your mind before sun rises.

This work is part of the "Slow It Down, Cowboy" AU, a collaborative effort with @vallification . Read it's sister work, "In My Heart You Pay No Rent" here.

How unfair life could be, truly.

You should've been ecstatic, over the moon even, to have received an invitation to court from one Nanami Kento. He was the son of a blacksmith and a well educated mother, polite, modest, and only four years your senior. Nanami Kento, certainly, would make a fine husband.

”Oh my, how handsome he is!”

Your mother had gushed in the dining room, occasionally dipping her head to peer around the entryway into your living quarters as he discussed his intentions with your father. Marriage, money, children were all topics that had been thrown around. All of which you knew because every time your mama would hear something she liked she’d floundered and flounced as if there were ants under her feet, squealing excitedly at what had to be your worst nightmare. You had to resist the urge to insinuate she was a church bell.

She wasn't wrong, though, the old church bell. Nanami Kento was handsome. The other young women of the town would simply stone you if it meant they could step into your shoes.

And so you’d accepted the proposition with a tight smile, hoping he may have thought your eyes were wide with excitement, not panic.

I am a wretched, ungrateful woman. I will be courted by the very handsome Nanami Kento. When he asks for my hand I will be his wife. I will learn to love him.

Your brain repeated the mantra over and over in your head, trying desperately to convince your heart of it’s truths. All the while, your body seemed to revolt against you as well, taking sides with your heart in this futile pursuit. Every shift in your bed was uncomfortable, the collar of your nightdress too high, the wrist cuffs of that same dress too tight. Your body thought this night would be much more comfortable with a particular pair of arms wrapped around you. Your heart screamed for the return of a certain set of catmint hued eyes. Your brain thought he was a backhanded fly-by-night, and argued with the other two to follow suit.

To the rest of the world, Suguru Geto was an outlaw, a cowhand turned desperado chasing some wild tale of claiming land out west by means of force. Under your bed in an old pine box were clippings from newspapers spinning wild fables of his desperate attempts at gunslinging his way into codfish aristocracy alongside one notorious “Six Eyes Satoru Gojo”, a figure whose name struck fear in the hearts of many.

To you, though, Suguru Geto was a humble farmboy, sent to the dogs by the untimely death of his parents not long after he’d turned 18.

You hadn’t known him well then, not honestly, but gossip needs no carriage. Rumor in the market paths was that the young man was a bit less of a pony, and more of a stallion. You remembered feeling a blend of emotions everytime it was mentioned. Disgust at the reckless deflowerment of so many young women of proud heritage. Visceral shock at the idea that Suguru Geto, a boy known to live by his charms, with a voice laden with honey and a tender smile, would commit such atrocities. Then, on top of the latter, was a feeling that spurred an immense shame within you, jealousy. The green eyed wretch.

It was no surprise to you why so many young women had fallen into the bear trap that was his porcelain grin; the one that he would flash at merchants as you passed him time and time again at the market with the furtiveness of a field mouse darting through the grass. Though, with the way you assumed of him, perhaps you were more like the corn snake. After all, who was to say any of it was true? Lies and gossip had long since been wed, after all.

Those girls in their bustled gowns would be floored to know how many times he’d bedded you in the years since then, especially after he’d run for the west and Chicagoed more men than you could count on both your hands and all your toes. Your family would simply be ruined if the coffee-sisters caught wind of all the ways he’d taken you. If it ever happened, you’d already decided you’d publish a pamphlet and then promptly drown yourself in the river to save them from the shame. Tell the emerging nation in its entirety how sure of a shot “Sure Shot Suguru Geto” really was. He’d forgive you for bubbling around, surely. Not like he’d have much of a choice.

After all, it was his own discourteousness that had left you here in your bed on this night, tossing and turning and wallowing in your own delusional sentimentality. What was there to miss, even? He was a landlouper, a vagabond that only stayed for a night, if one could even refer to it as such. He’d come to take you after dusk on the off chance it wouldn’t trouble him so much as he was passing through, and return to his misruled adventures before the sun had even risen. Of course, there were more reasons than his own transgressions that sent him packing so quickly. Once, he’d made the mistake of over sleeping, only to be awoken to your father beating on the door of your room, asking why a horse was posted up by the tree on the farside of the property, wanting to ensure your safety. Admittedly, it was a tad fun trying to distract your Pa while he attempted to back slang it by way of your bedroom window. You almost understood why he chose such a lifestyle.

God be with you, you needed to sleep. Now.

Either by night or by sleight, by fair means or foul, you stomped the images of his broad shoulders and calloused hands out of your mind and attempted to count sheep. But even the sheep, it seemed, were disgruntled. After a fair number they laid down in the field of your mind, refusing to run their courses and instead curling into briskets, having grown tired and lazy. It seems they needed a cattleboy to guide them. A tall, toned, miscreant cowhand with a flair for violence and princess-esque locks of inky silken hair that tumbled down his--

Your eyes fly open, and dammit you could absolutely kill that man for the way he’s ravaged your entire being. The thought crosses your mind that perhaps you should’ve counted Nanami Kento’s jumping hurdles instead, and you can’t help but giggle childishly at yourself, pawing at your weary eyes with balled fists.

“What’s s’funny?”

You jolt upright, catching the crown of your head against the pine headboard as you did so, causing you to yelp a little louder than you should’ve. Clutching one hand over the painsome spot where you’d practically bludgeoned yourself, you lift your eyes to find none other than “Sure Shot” himself, his jaw resting against a closed fist and his elbow against the wood paneling of your open window, his hair loose (just the way you liked it) and toppling into the open air of your room, the light of the moon catching on the locs like sun on water.

You search your soul for every reason to be cross with him, trying desperately to cling to the crumbling remnants of your anger that were slipping through your hands like sand at just the sight of him, but your body– dammit, your body. It betrays you, craving him like sunlight. You scramble out of your bed and to the window, leaning out to toss your arms around his neck, melting into him as he chuckles mischievously, his hands finding your sides to hoist you out of the window, spinning you around like children celebrating a hard won game of marbles.

“Now just how did you manage to snake your way up here without alerting the likes of Archie?” You question, leaning your hands against the broad stretch of his shoulders to look at him. Your father had found the ol’ hound in a burlap sack by the river the summer prior. He grew into a fierce protector, for better or for worse.

“Seems even dogs’r charmed by my delicate sensibilities.” He smirks, and you can't help the soft smile that creeps across your face, your fingers affectionately tracing over the embroidery of his shirt, carefully crafted delphiniums threaded in various lilac hues painted across his shoulders. He did always have a thing for fashion.

“Charmed only by the dog biscuits in your pocket, surely is what you intended.”

He snickers, setting you down in your still-open windowsill so your bare feet don’t touch the moist earth below, stuffing a hand in his pocket as he speaks,

“Cain’t blame a man, honestly-” he produces something from his pocket and expertly tosses it into his mouth, too smooth for you to catch sight of it before it was crunching and cracking between his teeth. “Better’n any human biscuit I’ve ever tasted--”.

You gasp, wide-eyed and astounded at such a disgusting act carried out by such a beautiful man right in front of your eyes.

“Suguru Geto, you truly forget yourself!” your scold carries out over his wheezing, a mixture of hushed complaints about how you were sure to get the two of you caught if you didn’t pipe down intermingled with chuckling. He tries to muffle it by leaning his arms on the window, caging you in by the hips and burying his face in the crook of your neck. The rumble of his chest lights a fire inside you as you attempt to playfully push him away to no avail.

“I mean it, Mr. Sure Shot if you even so much as attempt to toy with the idea of putting your poor misfortunate dog lips anywhere near me--!”

“Shhh!” He begs, cupping your head on either side and bringing your forehead down to rest against his own, still laughing lightly “It’s a mint, I swear! See? I’m only hackin’ on ya’.”. He blows a gentle cooling breath against your face and despite yourself you breathe in deeply, swallowing a lungful of his breath and something distinctly fresh, hoping he doesn’t notice the cheek-ache you’ve gained from the tingling sensation.

You mimic his giggles, though whether it was due to humor or the way he stole your breath so effortlessly was up for debate “You’ve gone mad.”.

“Yes’m, sure have.” He confirms, his smile fading from one of amusement to one of reverence, “T’love an’ be sane ain’t possible, after all”.

Your smile fades as you lean back slightly, shaking your head with a dry scoff, “You, Suguru Geto, do not love me.”.

His brow scrunches in confusion, eyes bouncing back and forth across your face as he chews his cheek. What you’d give to be able to see into his head.

“Now, ‘at dog jus’ ain’t gon’ hunt.” He huffs, displeased with your response to his confession. You roll your eyes and go to slide backwards into your bedroom only to be caught in his hands, one on your waist and one clutching your chin between his calloused fingers, rough from years of roping and riding “If I ain’t earnest, then ‘m dead, y/n. I lov-”.

“Stop it, and stop it now.” You spit, reaching up to grab him by the wrist and toss it back at him “You do not-”.

“Who ’re you to try’n tell me how I feel?” He cuts you off, nostrils flaring and lips cementing themselves into a tight line as he grows increasingly wrought-up over your dismissal. You’d never, not even once, rejected his advances or affections before. Typically you were malleable, pliant to his wills. It was obvious he didn’t know how to handle it.

You hold up a hand to signal him to settle, and he does a bit, finally backing away just a few feet and allowing you some much needed room to breathe.

“My apologies. It might be better to say you cannot love me-”

“I’ll do whatever‘n the hell I damn well please-”

“Suguru.”

He huffs and turns away from you, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation, “Sorry, I guess. Go ‘head.”. A frustrated sigh.

You set your gaze anywhere but at him, your mouth opening and closing several times as you struggle to say the words you know you need to, your heels kicking softly against the wooden framing of your family home.

“Well?” He prods, growing impatient, and you shoot him a glare, sending a clear signal; that he needs to relax. This is hard enough without him becoming chewed up.

“I am set to begin courting tomorrow.” You breathe, trying to remain steady, your head growing fuzzy as the confession seems to set the reality of it all into stone. You were going to start courting tomorrow. With a man that was the polar opposite in nearly every fashion of the one before you, the one you wanted.

He stills for a moment, hooded eyes widening in shock momentarily before he relaxes entirely, following that with a snort and a chuckle, “Very funny, but don’t yank my chain like ‘at. You got no idea what I almost-”.

“It is no laughing matter, I fear. He talked to my father this morning. They discussed funds and… and the dowry-- a-and, children.” You have to stop yourself and manually fill your lungs with much needed oxygen, hanging your head low and gripping to your makeshift seat until your knuckles turn white, caught off guard by how badly you ache more and more with each passing word.

When you lift your head to meet his form once again, he’s stock-still, entirely unreadable. The once cool and open night air now felt stiff, stale, and impossibly hot. Eventually, he breaks first, huffing and rolling his lips between his teeth, nodding as if to confirm his own thoughts.

“Well, y’just seem plum thrilled, babe. By all means, don’t go lettin’ my nonsense stop ya’.” You’re certain he wants this to come off unbothered, but his voice absolutely drips sarcasm and venom. The sound is almost foreign to your ears. “Who’s the lucky bastard, huh?”.

“Luck?!” You evade answering that question entirely, deciding it better to focus on the relationship he knew versus the one he didn’t. You weren’t callow enough to lose sight of Suguru’s tendencies. You needn't sweet Nanami Kento’s blood on your hands.

“It hasn’t anything to do with luck, Suguru. You could have done it just as easily as he, but the path you chose was different. You just as simply could’ve gone to my father and–!”

“And what?!” He steps closer, his voice barely a harsh whisper, pushing through clenched teeth, “Introduce m’self to the beer bottle? ‘Howdy, I’m Suguru Geto. I got nothin’ to m’ name, dead parents and a barrel’a women under my belt but please force your daughter into allowin’ me to court ‘er.’. You ‘n I both know-”

“I will have you know I am most certainly not being forced into anything-”

“Then why not say ‘no’?”

“Because I cannot!”

“Sounds awful forced t’me.” He deadpans. You hadn’t paid much attention to how close he was again until his breath was fanning your face.

“You’re impossible.” Unwilling to let him back you into a corner, you slide backwards into the room, fully intent on turning around and slamming your window right down on his ridiculously large hands.

He beat you to the punch, though. Hopping through the open space right behind you, giving you no time to shut him out before you’re chest to chest with him, standing on your tiptoes to try and cut down on the height advantage, much like one would go about handling a bear.

“This is your fault, you know? What’s forcing my hand here is that you’ve-” you jab a pointed finger into his chest “-devalued me! Without Nanami Kento’s consideration I would surely be left to the hands of some- some dizzy-aged cretin with a wad of gold and a lobcock that hasn’t worked since before I was born!”.

He smirks, and you immediately realize your mistake, your eyes widening as he cocks his head and dips down to your eye-level, his body language telling you that your attempts to dominate him were all but futile.

“Nanami Kento, huh?” He questions, smugness plastering his unthinkably handsome features. A tense few beats pass, and he relents, seemingly satisfied with the new information. The moonbeams that cascaded in through the window caught and glimmered on his holstered pistol strapped to his hip by way of his gun belt, reminding you of the weight of your mistake.

“Do not. Suguru, I’m gravely serious, do not do this-” You weren’t sure what you were begging for.

“Nanami Kento.” He repeats the name slowly, his voice coated with malice as he stops and turns to look at you. His eyes were narrowed and sharp, nostrils flaring and jaw clenched tight as he fought to keep his voice low and his breathing even.

“Let me tell ya ‘bout Nanami Kento. ‘At man ain’t ever worked’fr nary a damn thing ‘n his entire life, and when it comes to fightin’? I bet on ev’r dollar I got ‘at prick’s all hat, no cattle. He wants ta take ya from me? Fine. But he’s gon’ have to do a lil’ more for it than just givin’ yer ol’ man a lick n’ a promise.” He nods the affirmative at his own words and turns to leave, but you lunge forward and catch him by the shirtsleeve.

“Just of what exactly do you speak?” You demand, and the smile he gives you could shake the shit from the pants of Satan himself.

“Real simple, peach. He can duel me for it, like a gentleman. Better be grateful, too. ‘Cause the way ‘m feelin’ right now- I got half’a mind to sharpen’at silver spoon he’s graced with’n cut him with it.”

You scan his face with the providentness of a surgeon, blinking a few times before you finally just ask,

“…You can’t be serious?”

“Oh, simon pure, m’afriad-”

“You will ruin me!” You grit your teeth and slap a flat palm against his chest out of pure instinct. He flinches a bit, less in pain and more in pure shock at your outburst. You’d never had a legitimate reason to be cross with him before.

“Accordin’ to you, I’ve already gone on an’ beat that bull-”

“Oh, you rat! You know what my intention is! How am I to explain why Sure Shot Suguru Geto desires to duel for my- my-” You let go of him, your hands flailing as you search for your words. You’re so mad you can’t even articulate. “Well surely not my honor! If anything, for my-! My madge!”.

By the time you finish your outburst, you’re effectively tied up in knots, your fists clenched at your side and your jaw jutted like a bulldog as your chest heaves with fiery, angry breaths. He’s tense too, but for an entirely different reason. His lips are pressed in a tight line, eyebrows damn near flying off his face and cheeks turning crimson with effort.

“Don’t you dare.” Your warning is the thing that sends him over the edge. It starts with a snort, and then evolves into a fit of wheezing and whickering as he tries with conviction to keep his volume low, doubling over slightly and catching himself with one hard palm on the window frame, the other clutching at his jerking abdomen as he laughs.

You can’t hold yourself to the conviction of not laughing along with him, tears brimming in your eyes as you cover your mouth with both hands and give him a swift kick to the shin as if he were the one who said the offending comment in the first place. It earns a girlish yelp from him, and then you’re both laughing harder, cascading to the floor in a heap as you attempt to get the reins back on this metaphorical horse.

“See?” He coughs obnoxiously and draws a deep breath, flipping over onto his back on the hardwood flooring of your bedroom and swiping at some tears that had formed in his eyes “Now how’n the hell do ya expect me to let’cha walk away with a mouth like ‘at?”.

You sit up straight and shake your head at him incredulously, sighing as you feel your hostility leave with your breath. He looks just as mesmerizing as ever, with his hair fanning out across your floor like splattered paint and his face flush from laughter, stripped of his hat, vest, and overcoat. He must’ve left them with Cinnamon, his trusty palomino steed who was undeniably tied up somewhere on the corner of your parent’s property. He claimed that a horse was nothing more than a form of transportation, but you'd caught him draping his over layers across her back more than once before. It wasn't even that cold outside.

You reach forward and grab his hand in yours, running your thumb along his knuckles, noticing the scrapes and fading bruises but choosing not to bring it up. Who knows what kind of hogwash he’d gotten into since the last time you'd seen him.

“I'm serious. You cannot duel with him. The shame it would bring my family would be odious.” You whisper, avoiding his gaze and choosing instead to focus on his hand in yours, his warm skin working wonders to ground you.

He shifts until he's sitting, pulling your hand to his lips for a quick kiss before he's kicking off his boots, an action your body has an inherent reaction to, muscle memory causing your heart to pick up pace and your face to light fire in anticipation.

“What can I do, then? Tell me, y/n. Jus’ say the words an’ I’ll flatten the Appalachians for ya’.” He murmurs after setting his shoes aside, careful not to let the iron spurs clang against the floor. He reaches forward and tucks your hair behind your ear, letting his palm rest against your cheek, holding you in a gaze that could’ve pinned you down without the help of his warm hand.

You lean into him, bringing your hand up to hold him there, lips falling loose and open as you search for words, finding none. What could he do? The damage was irreparable, it seemed. You couldn’t be selfish over the matter. Your head shakes slightly and the hand that cups his own grips at his fingers and attempts to pry him away from you. You couldn’t. You couldn’t--

“Anythin’, doll. Ya want the sun? I’ll bottl’it. I’ll stop the clouds from rainin’ and ‘is ol’ earth from turnin’ if’n it jus’ means I can have ya.” His harsh whisper cuts through you like glass and he refuses to let you go, instead shifting to his knees and bringing his free hand to mirror the one in use. Leaning over you, desperately caging you in that fucking gaze; eyes a somber and honest amethyst. Your hands come up to grip his wrists as you attempt to blink away sentimental tears, silently begging for reprieve from his overwhelming attention.

“Please, y/n.” He breathes, beckoning you to give in, lips so close to your own that you can feel every syllable, “Please let me have ya.”.

You break, of course you do, capturing his bottom lip between your own, your breathing steadily growing heavy as he jerks your body flush against his, guiding your arms around his neck to free his hands. They roam every dip and valley of your frame over your bedtime linens, resisting the temptation to pause and play along the way before trailing their way down over the globes of your ass, stopping only once they’ve reached your thighs. He picks you up with a bruising grip, your legs locking around his abdomen. He stands, as if you weigh nothing at all, and carries you to the bed. All the while he’s swiping, pushing, curling his tongue against your own like he has something to prove; and maybe he does.

The minute he sets you down your fingers make way to his gun belt. Starting at the string around his thigh, you find yourself smirking cheekily as he tenses at the contact.

“Are these those ‘delicate sensibilities’ you spoke of?” You tease, smiling up at him as you undo the knotting, making sure to let your fingers make as much contact with his clothed inner thigh as possible.

“Don’t go stirrin’ up a hornets nest, now-” He teases right back, his smirk only lasting a fraction of a second. You run a flat palm up the inside of his thighs and across the half-formed tent in his pants, massaging over the area before continuing onto his waist buckle. He hisses, throwing his head back in gratification “Shit, baby, I mean, how long’s’it been now? Four months? Six?”. His fingers dance into your hair, clinging to the locks for some sort of purchase, and the way he seems so desperate for you has you clenching your thighs together.

“Now, do you expect me to clean-handedly believe you travel like you do and don’t bed women when you’re gone?” You ask, rolling your eyes as your fingers dance upward to tug at his waist buckle, the plum stained leather smooth against the pad of your fingers. He shoots a look down at you, tutting disapprovingly.

“ Wh’Kinda guff is ‘at?” He fusses, “Ain’t ever been no other woman. Not since the first day I had ya.”

The words cause your cheeks to flush deeper red than they ever had before, and you have to fight yourself not to loose sight of the task at hand. “No?” you ask cheekily, finally wrestling off his gunbelt and sitting it off gently to the side, iron still in the holster.

“Why would I?” He asks, clenching his teeth and hissing as your hands find his waist and your lips place hot, open mouthed kisses across the front of his pants, loving the way you can feel him twitch and grow harder beneath the confines of the fabric.

“You’re spinning yarn,” You accuse, running a flat tongue against him once, twice before continuing, “Not even have you stopped at a brothel?”.

“Ain't no need, when I got my own right hand ‘nd yer mem’ry.” He’s losing all reverence, the deft fingers on his leftmost hand gripping tighter against your scalp and hips rocking in time with your movements, his right hand coming up to undo the buttons of his shirt, seeking reprieve from the heat that had washed over your tiny little bedroom.

“You are the slyest of stray alley cats.” You can't allow yourself to believe his words, though the thought of him satisfying himself under a blanket of stars makes your pussy throb. Sweaty, dirty, one hand covering his mouth so that he doesn't accidentally call out for you and wake his associates. Jerking himself hard and fast, hips rutting into his fist--

“Dumplin’. On m’ iron n’ what tiny bit’s left o’ my honor; the fuckin’ Virgin Mary ‘erself could offer t’bed me an’ I’d turn ‘er down for you-- shit!” He cuts himself off with a gasp as you take the opportunity provided to you by his freshly unbuttoned shirt, not even allowing him a moment to shed the off-white fabric from his shoulders before you’re running your tongue along the thin trail of hair along his lower abdomen. You unbutton his tight-fitted trousers, whimpering against your own will as his toned muscles twitch and jerk beneath your lips. His body was confirming his convictions. He wanted you.

Hooking your fingers under his pants and underwear, you pull them down until they’re hugging his thighs, squeezing the toned flesh there just right. You're practically panting as his cock springs free, slapping against his abdomen with a wet thud.

For a moment, all you can do is stare with heavy lidded eyes and parted lips. This is why sex was a sin. There was no earthly explanation why something could make you feel such elation; it had to be unholy by nature. Shaky fingers reach up to stroke him, nimble pads running through the coarse tufts of hair at the base before tracing up, up, up the underside of his shaft. You try not to think about how this is the last time you’ll ever see this view, focusing instead on committing every fat vein to memory, hoping you can recall it on the off chance you ever get a bed to yourself again following your dreaded marriage. Your index reaches the very tip and you find yourself swiping away the bead of precum that's formed there, bringing your finger to your mouth and closing your eyes as you do the same with the taste.

“Angel-” A raspy voice from above you has your eyes snapping open, looking up to find Suguru panting, sweating, swallowing hard and desperate “M’an outlaw, not a priest. Ain’t got patience like ‘at-.”.

“My sincere apologies, handsome.” You wrap your hand around him and stroke him in earnest, drinking in the way his face falls open from satisfaction. “I assure you, I didn’t mean to tease you so.”. You hang your mouth open, tongue hanging out and swiping upward against him from base to tip, absolutely adoring the way he sucks air through his teeth. You’re ready to take him in earnest, just as soon as you explain yourself:

“Simply ensuring I can remember, for when I-!”

You’re cut off by his fist slamming your head down on his cock, and low growl leaving him as he bottoms out against the back of your throat, loosening slightly as you slap at his hip, wordlessly reprimanding him as you choke and gag on his girth. He mumbles out an apology, pulling you back halfway and allowing you to pull air back into your lungs through your nose.

“Y’ain’t gon’ half’ta remember anythin’, baby - shit, ah-!” He’s all but face-fucking you, but at least he’s being gentle, shallow little thrusts and much slower than he originally started with. “J-just, fuck, y/n, ya’ cain’t leave, ‘kay? I’ll figure it out, I-”.

It’s your turn to shut him up, taking him deeper and bobbing your head faster, ignoring the tears in your eyes as you watch him slowly lose his composure above you, shedding off his shirt and tossing it behind you as he pants and grunts, his pupils blown wide and a slick sheet of sweat beading on his forehead, causing little strands of hair to stick to his face.

You know you’ve won when his hands grip the side of your face and one leg gets thrown up on the bed bedside you, his mouth open in a silent moan as he takes back control of the pace, bobbing your head up and down on himself erratically as he gasps for air.

All that loose jaw he was spitting is now replaced by a whispered little mantra of “Yes! Yes, Yes- fuck, baby. S’good. Always s’good f’me-”. You hollow your cheeks and flatten your tongue as much as possible, trying desperately not to gag and ruin his pleasure as a mixture of spit and pre-cum drips form the corners of your mouth and down your chin.

A string of curses escape him as he pushes you all the way down until the tip of your nose is buried into the dark hair at his base, holding you still there as his cock jumps and writhes in your throat, your fingernails digging into his hips in protest. Surely they were cutting into his skin by this point.

Just when your vision starts to go dark around the edges, he pulls out of your mouth, cooing at you as you suck in air like you were hungry for it, looking up at him with vulnerable eyes as you swallow thickly, the tears that had been pooling in your eyes finally slipping down your face. He catches them with his thumbs, guiding you backwards on the bed and shuffling out of his pants in tandem. Once he's fully nude, he settles between your thighs on his knees.

“Y’okay?” He asks, and you nod, smiling weakly up at him as he cards his fingers through your hair, pushing it back away from your face with the gentleness of a sunday morning rain, like he hadn’t just bruised your esophagus. He smiles, honey sweet, and leans down to kiss your forehead first, and then your lips, groaning lowly as he tastes himself on your tongue, hips rutting as if he couldn't stop them.

Leaning back on his haunches, he taps on the outside of your knee twice.

“Strip f’me, doll.”

And so you do, trembling fingers trailing up your body to undo the buttons on your nightgown one by one, starting at the top and working your way down, your eyes studying his sharp features and wandering gaze as he gathers his hair and secures it back with the elastic band he forever kept on his wrist. You couldn’t remember a time before them, but your mother swore tying hair with silk ribbon was a pain when she was a girl. You pondered now if he'd look just as mesmerizing trying to wrangle all that hair up with a ribbon.

His cat-like eyes trail down your body as you work, and he sucks on his teeth when he realizes your barren underneath the white cotton of your bed clothes. Once your gown has been properly parted, his hands roam their way around the new expanse of your exposed skin, starting at your thighs and working their way up, pushing aside the fabric with his wrists as his rough hands tend to a garden he’s harvested time and time before.

It was by his own design, the way your body reacted to being tended by him. Goosebumps erupted along your skin and flames danced in your abdomen. Your core dripped with anticipation, every swipe of his rein-worn fingers reminding you that he'd yet to touch you where you desired him most. His hands meandered up your sides until he was cupping your breasts, rough thumbs languishing over the feeling of your stiffening nipples beneath him as they swiped and toyed with the flesh. Your back arches from the corn husk mattress and your hands try their best to quell the sparks he was lighting in your tummy; one of them gripping at your sheets above your head and the other covering your mouth to stifle the whimpers that escaped you.

“I ever tell ‘ya how pretty y’are?” He half-murmurs, half-whispers as one hand leaves your breast to traverse back down across your abdomen, never ceasing until he reaches your core, one thumb shallowly dipping into your entrance and stretching your folds apart so he can watch the way she winks at him with every movement, spitting clear arousal with every clench.

“Perhaps only every-- ah!” His fingers shift to pinch and roll your nipple, “-chance you’ve gotten. Still though I am-- nngh!” His thumb pushes deeper into you, “-certainly honored to receive such praises!”.

He smirks at your inherent tendency to keep your wording polite even in the most devilish of circumstances, and he must’ve decided he could take it no longer because before you can blink he’s hiking your legs up and across his sun-kissed shoulders, practically folding you in half and lapping away at your pussy like a man starved.

You would've complained about his so-called “delicate sensibilities” when it came to handling your body in such a manner, but your face was frozen in an open silent moan, your eyes blowing wide and struggling to keep contact with his in the way you knew he liked. If you so much as dared to let any sound escape you, you'd wake not only your parents, but the entire town!

He knew you too well, everything about his conduction of your body had been fine tuned. The way he toyed around with your clit in his mouth had your body temperature rising to concerning levels, your arousal absolutely coating his face in a matter of moments. Not that he didn't expect it, you knew. In fact, it was probably precisely why he'd pulled his hair back. He adored it too, this you could also tell. From this angle, you got a front row seat to how his eyes rolled back in his head as he flicked and swiped his tongue against your core, up and down and back and forth and something you couldn't care to ponder on- stars, maybe? Never the matter.

A familiar tightness was building in your stomach, your panting growing faster and more needy as you think to yourself,

My god, please help me! How am I to go the rest of my life without this wrong I do?

Suguru pushes a flat hand against your mouth before slipping two fingers inside of you, and praise heaven for the man as well as his forethought because you lose your battle with your own throat the second he begins pumping in and out of you in perfect harmony with his tongue, crying out into his hand as your hips begin to rut against him in a desperate plea for faster, harder, more.

He happily obliges, curling his fingers against that god-forsaken spot inside you you’d never been able to find on your own in all your nights waiting for him, leveraging into you with a pace and force that reminded you of his deviant side. This version of him wasn't Suguru, the man who brought you rocks and flowers and exotic wines from his travels. This was not Suguru, the boy breezing by you at the market with sharp features and tempting eyes. No, this was Sure Shot Suguru Geto, the man who robbed and killed and gambled. Save your soul, you loved him.

Your hands fly into his hair as your hips betray you, all but humping his face in time with his movements as the tension inside you rises to a boiling heat, your knuckles gripping his hair beneath his bun so cruelly but you know he doesn't mind, not only from experience but from the way he groans directly into you as his eyes flutter shut. He transitions from licking to suckling on your clit and it's the final nail in the coffin for you. Your orgasm fires off like a gun shot, sharp and unfathomably intense as you scream into his hand, your legs absolutely spasming around his head with the force of it alone, your whole body tensing and jerking so hard that you fear you may have torn something as he continues his ministrations to push you through your high, never ceasing until you bite at his hand and kick at his shoulder.

He makes his way back to your face, chuckling as he captures your plush lips with his own, not leaving even a breaths span of time before he's nudging his tip into your tight entrance, swallowing your gasps and whines as if he may never taste them again.

“More, baby, more- please?” You manage to choke out between swipes of his tongue. He stills momentarily, pausing to scan your face, something unreadable plaguing his sweat lined features. You attempt to rut your hips and give yourself some reprieve, but one rope-warn hand grips you at your bare hip, holding you against the mattress effortlessly.

“Suguru!” You scold, and his lips quirk in the slightest of ways.

“Call me that again.”

“...Your name?”

“By god ‘m so glad yer pretty.” He giggles and pushes into you a few more inches harshly, his smile growing wilder as you yelp, both of you immediately pausing to listen for noise from the other rooms.

Silence.

“Not m’name, peach. ‘At lil’ thing you said before-” His voice is quieter now.

“Baby?”

He pushes into your further, more gentle this time, the hand that was on your hip snaking up to grip your face and hold your gaze “Atta girl. You keep callin’ me that and I’m gon’ put a baby in ya’, swear solemn.”.

Your face contorts as his words hit you and he bottoms out, tip pressing against your womb and girth stretching you so wide. It burns, it hurts, it feels so good-- and his words? You knew they held no weight but the thought had you gushing around him. You needed him to move, and move now.

“Always naggin’ ‘bout my mouth, but look at ya’ now, darlin’- droolin’ on my cock all’f’r some nasty words.” He demeans as he begins to roll his hips into you, smirking as your hands grip at his biceps and your legs fall open wide for him, “Mmm y’like’at idea, huh? Stuff ya so full’a me that ol’ fuckin’ Nanami Kento has t’ raise my kid if’n he wants to take my wife?”.

You don't reply to that, you can’t because he’s steadily picking up pace, fucking you with determination that you knew was coming from somewhere other than his cock. No, of all the times he’d taken you prior, this one was different. Stubborn, vivace, and oh so frantic. You find yourself biting down on his shoulder as he slams against your soft walls, each time pulling almost entirely out before pounding back into you again, bruising your cervix like he wanted to mark you from the inside out. He’s spewing guttural rumbles and low moans from above you, and each one only makes you want him more. Not just here, not just now, but forever and then some.

“I love you, y’hear me?” His voice is deeper than usual, husky, somewhat of a moan in your ear, “Don't’cha ever tell me I cain’t ever again.”.

Each word is accentuated with a sharp thrust, desire and want and desperate prayer rearranging your very being. All you can do is whimper his name in response. He trails kisses along your neckline, they almost feel apologetic.

How absolutely inhumane time was, only the night left to claim every part of each other before it was ripped away, burnt to nothing but a memory of a flame that once shone so brightly in the darkness. Despite the way every stroke has your mind melting away, you find yourself realizing that perhaps this wasn’t Sure Shot at all, but instead just Suguru, a helplessly enamored man on the verge of losing his love on top of everything he’d already lost in the past few years. You choke out a sob, unsure if it’s the pleasure or the pain or the realization that has you blubbering, but it didn’t matter all the same. You were still adulterated, he was still taken with you, you were still duty-bound to marry another, and he was still hammering into you like his life depended on it.

You feel your body begin to contract, thighs starting to squeeze around him as he beats against your favorite spot so deep inside, the feeling almost tormenting you into another release.

“Aht, aht, now don’t go tensin’ up on me, babydoll.” He doesn’t stop his arietations, though, as he leans back to encase your tender throat with his fingers. The simple action is enough to have that coil inside you winding tighter at an exponential rate, “Ya’ know by now it’s better when ya relax f’me. Thought I had ya well trained, mm? Now be good f’me and loosen up- atta girl, atta girl-”.

You do your best to let your thighs fall slack and all you can feel is the way he’s piledriving into you, closing your eyes and zoning in on that place inside where his cock is shooting sparks across your body over and over and over. His fingers begin to tighten around your sensitive throat and your pussy follows suit around his shaft. You think you hear him breathe out a string of whispered curses, but you can't tell with the way your vision is beginning to go white and fuzzy. His free hand reaches around to flick across your clit in quick, frantic motions, and you’d be so appreciative of his hand on your throat if you could think anything at all. You gargle out a strangled noise as you come undone beneath him for the second time that night, your hands coming up to grip at his wrist, your head pounding backwards into your sheets and hair bouncing wildly as his thrusts become somehow stronger, but all the while more erratic. He was close behind you, this you knew.

A few more pumps and he’s pulling out of you, letting go of your neck to lean back on his haunches and fist his cock with ferocity, hissing as his seed splatters across your abdomen, hot and sticky. You gasp for air, feeling like you’d just run a few miles in the summer heat, gargling and sputtering as you attempt to re-ground yourself.

A tender hand finds your cheek, and your eyes flutter open to find his dark features gazing at you longingly, his bottom lip pushed out in a small pout.

“M’okay.” You assure, turning to press a kiss into his palm and smiling up at him lazily. He mirrors that and leans down to plant a gentle kiss against your lips, mumbling an apology for being so rough.

“Thank you most kindly for refraining from sowing your oats in me.” Your brain feels numb.

He lets his head fall into your shoulder to stifle his giggles “C’mon, ditz. Let's get ya’ cleaned up and light us a hand roll.”. A tender kiss against your shoulder.

A few minutes later you're curled up between his spread legs on the floor just by your window, him in nothing but his pants and you wrapped in his shirt. You watch over your shoulder as he produces a single cigarette from his pocket, striking the match he’d stolen from atop your armoire against the rough grain of your window, marveling at the way the light paints his skin orange as he puffs a few times to get the stick lit. When he’s done, he shakes away the flame and disposes of the match on your windowsill, draping one arm around you and pulling you backwards until your back is flush with his bare chest.

He is careful when he blows the smoke away from your face, but you’re not as you snatch the cigarette away from him as soon as he’s finished the first drag, bringing it to your lips and drawing in a breath of smoke just as big as his own.

“Woah, Nellie!” He teases, resting his cheek against the crown of your head, “Didn’t know y’was such’n avid smoker.”.

“I most certainly am not!” You tease right back. “I only do such unfavorable, unladylike things in the presence of scoundrels such as yourself.”.

He chuckles, leaning forward to puff on the cigarette as you hold it up for him. You scold yourself for craving the plush of his lips again so soon. Not only did you just finish bedding him, but you also could never do so again. Well, at least not after the night was through. For a while, the two of you stay like that, silently watching the stars and smoking your cares away to the best of your ability. The eastern crickets sang a song of farewell as you sat comfortable in the quiet serenity of your darkened room, a place that had been only for the two of you to share for so long, but would be no longer come dawn. Neither of you, it seems, wants to acknowledge it, savoring the calm before the raging storm of forever comes for you with the rise of the sun.

It’s just after he’s lit the third hand roll of the night that he suggests something so foolish, so childish and stupid, that you aren’t sure you heard him correctly the first time.

“Come away with me.”

You shift so that you’re setting sideways in his lap, looking up at him like he’d sprouted a third eyeball right in the center of his suntanned forehead. A beat, and then two passes, and you realize he’s serious.

“Surely you’ve gone mad. Out west?”

He nods “Yes’m.”.

“And just where shall we sleep? Eat? Make love?” If your eyes were to grow any wider they would certainly pop out of your head.

“Wherever the wind carries us, that’s’a best part-”

“Suguru!” A scoff and a laugh of disbelief escapes your gaping mouth, shaking your head at him in such unconvincibility.

“ ’M stone cold, baby. On my Ma-!” His tone sounds pleading, and he’s smiling hopefully, like a child who really hopes that Santa will leave a tommy gun under his tree.

“Good thing she's already under, bless her soul.” You snatch the cigarette from him and puff like your life depends on it. Truly, he would be the death of you.

“You hush’up.” He laughs, taking the hand roll back and clenching in between his teeth, using one hand to pull you by the bicep until the both of you are on your knees, elbows resting on the window as he speaks.

“Y’ain't ever gon’ know the things I’ve seen ‘less-n ya light a shuck with me. Baby there’s deserts, canyons, caves that shoot right down t’hell itself and fields a’ clovers ‘n wildflowers just as far’s yer pretty lil’ eyes could ever see-” As he talks, his hands make dramatic gestures in front of the two of you, as if he could physically paint the views into the open air before you.

“There are also snakes, and bears, and bandits-” You argue, but he cuts you off with a wink and a nudge.

“That's why yer com’n’ with me, cain’t no varmint catch ya’ if you're tucked under my arm!”

A defeated sigh escapes you, uninterested in playing these childish games of possibilities with him, “Pray tell, does your jaw ever ache from how much you jabber on?”.

His face falls slightly, but he’s still smiling. Softer now. Begging.

“Only for you, if’n ’m honest.”

You glare at him with knowing eyes, trying your best to simply look some sense into him, but of course your attempt is unsuccessful, the both of you erupting into giggles.

“Oh,” You take a long sigh as you calm yourself, “How am I to carry on without you?”.

“Y’ain’t. Because yer comin’ with me.”

“Suguru.” Now you sound like the one pleading, looking up at him with sad eyes as you steal the cigarette directly from his mouth and take another drag. And then, on the exhale; “My family, hopeful lover. Why is it can’t you understand I have a responsibility to-”

“I do.” He reaches forward and grabs your jaw, leaning inward, “I can acknowledge the corn. Ain’t claimin’ no ignorance here. But to see ya’ sell yerself for the good graces of society? I cain’t hang my hat on ‘at. I’m beggin’ ya, baby. ‘N Imma real proud man. Be selfish, just this once. Come away with me.”.

For a moment, all you can do is stare, your stomach sinking as you realized he was right. Your whole life you'd been a proper young lady. Honing your craft with your mother in the kitchen while the neighborhood boys played soccer in the fields. You learned to cook, to clean, to play piano forte in hopes to one day secure a rich husband, not for yourself, but for the hope that one day he could provide them more than this cottage on the outskirts of town. Sitting here now, though, you realized that was never what you wanted. It was what everyone else wanted of you.

“...Tonight?” You whisper, and immediately he’s lighting up from the inside out, his grin wild and wide as he surges forward and captures you between his arms, squeezing the life out of you as you giggle and do your best to hold the lit cigarette away from the two of you. He captures your lips in a kiss, and then another, and another, until you’re fussing at him to answer your question.

“Not tonight, tomorra. Gotta get some things’n order. Stock up on sum fixin’s. Shoot a letter to ‘ol Six Eyes out west and pray it arrives before we do-”

Oh, right. You scrunch your face up. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea after all.

“Ya have my blessin’ t’shoot him.”

Okay, you’re excited again “I get a gun?!”.

He snorts and steals the cigarette back from you, drawing in the last of it and nodding hesitantly “Affirmative, tho I gotta wonder if it’ll be the death a’ me.”.

You hum, your eyes wandering out into the night as you ponder aloud.

“If I am to be completely vulnerable, I do not wish to shoot anyone.”

He presses a kiss to your cheek “The gun ain't f’people, peach- it's for ‘em bears n’ snakes ya’ mentioned. I'll handle the people, don’t worry yer pretty lil’ head over’it.”

***

You couldn’t sleep after he left that night, a sure case of the morbs settling over you as you packed according to Suguru’s instruction. That is to say, lightly. A simple change of clothing and a leather bound journal for writing was basically all you would leave with.

This house, though not one of grandeur, had held you since you were but a babe. Your first steps were taken on this very hardwood, your height from every year notched into the frame of your bedroom door by your Pa’s pocketknife- up until you stopped growing at sixteen or so, that is. The crops from the garden had nourished you, the trees from the wood line knew your deepest secrets. You’d chased and caught frogs here, learned to read and write here, laughed and cried here, been bedded by a ill-fated outlaw here, and ultimately decided to make haste with him on westward winds. Here.

You hadn’t allowed yourself to think to hardly on your parents, reminding yourself of Suguru’s words:

“Be selfish, just this once.”

Right. He was right. From now on, you are living life for you. Not for your Mama and Pa. Not for what the pew regulars would think of you. Not for the coffee-sisters, nor the gossip in the marketplace.

…That was, until you snuck as silently as possible through the door of all you’d ever known, only to find your Mama leaning against the wooden railing of the porch, watching the sky ever-so-slightly lighten with each passing moment.

Your heart plummeted through the floor as you nearly dropped your bag from your shoulder in despair. Suguru would be arriving any moment. Surely if she were to see him she would simply fall dead.

“The coffee-sisters at tea last Saturday were just gushing about how there's quite a bit of wide open space out there in the unclaimed west.” is her version of a ‘goodmorning’. She doesn’t even turn around, keeping her stare set off into the distance.

You swallow thickly, trying to keep as normal as possible, “Mama? Why are you awake at such an hour?”.

She ignores you, staring, staring, staring still into the horizon, boring holes into the mountains in the distance. The same ones that hand held you, and her, and her mother, and the mother before.

“You know what's so grand about so much open air?”

You deflate, tears welling to your eyes as the realization dawns upon you that she must know. The one day you decide to run away with a vagabond outlaw is the one day she happens to be up before the sun, standing on the porch, waffling poetic about the unclaimed west? Nonsense. You could only hope this didn’t end in a shootout between Suguru and your father. Anxiety builds and pressurizes in your chest and you stay stone silent, trying to think of a way to de-escalate the aforementioned confrontation before it had even begun.

“There's so much space to grow. A gentleman at the market mentioned to me of his brother who ranches cattle out there. In his most recent letter, he spoke of cacti that grow to three times the height of your average man. Isn't that lovely, my girl?” Finally, she turns to look at you, smiling gently. Her face looks so much like your own but older, wiser.

Your brow dips in confusion. Was this or was it not the part where she was supposed to call you a harlot? Was she not to disown you? To tell you the very thing you’d been telling yourself since Suguru first bedded you; that you were a wretched, wretched, woman and surely when the roll is called on high you will be sent southward?

“Mama, of what do you speak?” The tears brimming your eyes are threatening to fall, but you tell yourself you must remain brave. You were a grown woman, making grown woman choices now.

“Add to that wonder, if the rumors are to be believed they grow flowers! Big, beautiful vibrant blooms from the toughest of plants this world has to offer. I thought unto myself; ‘My good Lord, how fitting. It must be by design.’. Do you understand me, daughter?” she cocks her head at you, and you come to lean beside her on the railing.

“No, Mama. I’m afraid I’m terribly lost.” You aren’t sure why it is you’re whispering, you’d already been caught, after all.

She takes your hand in her own, smiling at you, chuckling lightheartedly, as if she were watching a baby child dance about, “I'm saying to you, girl, that good things come from sharpened situations. There may come a time that you prick yourself to find something brighter than your eyes have seen… but you know of that already, no?”.

The tears begin to fall from the corners of your eyes and you mimic her smile back at her, elation washing over you like fresh spring rain. She was giving you permission. She knew, and still-

“Ma, how did you discover me?” you breathe, and she laughs genuinely, patting your hand.

“I take night strolls in the garden when your father's fog horn snoring keeps me awake. It was just this time last year that I turned to see a rather handsome young man leaned against your open window.”

Your cheeks go red and you hold a palm to your face, shaking your head lightly before you wipe at your tears.

“I must admit, I considered waking your father. You're the upmost of lucky he sleeps like a rock, by the way. A word of advice from an old maid? Tuck a pillow between your headboard and the wall to still the bed--”

“Mama, please! I never meant to bring you shame, of this I swear-!” You cut her off, taking both of her hands in your own, threatening to fall back into the treacherous place your mind had been just moments before.

“My love, everyone beds before they're married these days. They simply do not speak of it, and then there is nothing to say of the matter. I myself was two courses missed when I married your father. The world kept spinning, much contrary to the belief of your Nan.” She shrugs dismissively as you let go of her hands, and all you can do is stare at her; awestruck. Who was this woman standing in front of you now?

“Anyway, If I may continue. I stood out there for quite some time, weighing upon my options. The two of you never even noticed me, so lost in each other that I think I could've marched right up to him and pinched his tight little ass cheeks before either of you took note--”

“Mama!! My word!!!” You gasp, and bark out an incredulous laugh at her words. Your mother, never once in all your live days, had been so crass in front of you.

She laughs too, slapping at your arm and hushing you, “Hush, child! You’ll wake your Pa!”.

Your laughter settles into tender smiles. You were going to miss her most furiously.

She grips both of your shoulders as she speaks.

“I knew that the clock had been set in motion by the way he looked at you. What I saw that wonderful night was the sweet smile of a man that had made up his mind standing by the window in the moonlight. And what of you? Oh glory in the highest, I hadn't seen that look on your face since you were a babe! Not since before this world had taught you it isn't polite for ladies to laugh with no regard for looking proper.”

“I love him, Mama.” You admit, chuckling lightly with watery eyes, “And he loves me, too. Of this I am most certain.”.

“I know.” She pats your shoulder, and then continues, “I had never seen you look so miserable until Nanami Kento showed up on our doorstep, either. A shame, but your heart is already tucked deep in someone else's pocket, I fear.”.

You nod, slow and grave. “If there’s one thing of which I must apologize, it is that. I am terribly sorry for poor Nanami.”.

“Do not be so. Perhaps I will strike lucky and your father will keel over when he wakes to find you gone. More for me.”

“Oh, do not curse him so!” You both snicker again.

She pulls you into a tight hug, squeezing you for all you’re worth, which is maybe more than you knew. It’s around that time that you hear a familiar sound, both of your heads turning to watch as Suguru slowly fades into view, the steady thump of Cinnamon’s hooves against the soft earth growing rhythmically louder as they approach in a slow trot.

You turn back to your mother, your eyes apprehensive. She grabs your head and presses her lips to the center of your forehead, “Go now, child, before your father wakes. Do not forget to write, we will be here should you return. We will be here until the roll is called on high. As for you, though, adventure awaits.”.

With her graces, you step away from the porch, and it feels like you’ve stepped off a ledge into something beautiful. You run to meet him, your shoes padding against the grass and your dress billowing against the motion, never ceasing until he’s bringing Cinnamon to a halt so he can dismount and catch you as you fly into his arms, wrapping you in a hug as if he hadn’t just seen you a few hours prior. He looks good, he always looks good, but it’s a rarity for you to see him in his full get up. You wonder if you, too, will require such gear, and even more so if your bandana and gun belt will be stained purple to match.

He eyes your mother from the considerable distance and she waves. He returns the greeting by way of removing his stetson from his head, pressing it to his chest and bowing lightly in her direction, revealing his hair had been wrangled back into two tight plaits on either side of his head. While he’s distracted, you snatch his hat from his hands, plopping it on your own head, an action that has him laughing, his eyes crinkling up and twinkling with lovesomeness.

“Ya’ wear it much better’n I ever could, dumplin’. Now lets brush th’ breeze ‘for someone decides ‘ta kill me for this.”

***

“Y’know what ‘at ol’ Six Eyed bastard tells pretty young things like you?” Suguru asks through a mouthful of apple, and you’d chastise him for his manners if he wasn't graced with such beauty and you weren't cursed to be so sleepy.

You’d made it about twenty miles before Cinnamon needed to rest. You're all shaded by a tall oak tree, you and Suguru leaning against its base, your hands holding onto his bicep and your cheek rested against his shoulder, his hat still on your head.

“Mm?” You question, barely lucid, and he chuckles, holding the core up for Cinnamon which she's more than happy to accept, crunching almost as obnoxiously as her dear handler had been just moments before.

“He tells’em, ‘You wear the hat, you ride the cowboy--’.”

You lift your head to ensure he sees you roll your eyes, and he laughs, dipping beneath the brim of his own hat to steal a kiss from you, soft and slow.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfic #geto suguru #jjk suguru #ao3 fanfic #jjk x reader #geto x reader #getou suguru x reader #cowboy!au #cowboy!geto #cowboy!jjk #slow it down cowboy au #jjk smut #jjk au #geto smut #historical!au

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m1ckeyb3rry · 4 months

Note

CHAPTER FOUR WAS SO GOOD UGHH literally the only fanfic I have ever loved so much and wait for updates like this. Am so excited for the next one!!!

On the topic of finally opening requests, I was wondering if I could ask for head-canons of what a relationship with Seishiro and a female reader would be like. If we want to be specific, maybe related to the fanfic? Like, how you would imagine their relationship would have been like back when they were still in high school, young and with Nagi’s past soccer career and all. Don’t feel pressured to write this, and good luck with everything!😽😽

── DATING NAGI!

Synopsis: Headcanons about having Seishiro Nagi as your boyfriend.

Event Masterlist

Pairing: Nagi x Reader

Word Count: 0.9k

Content Warnings: none really, just generally fluffy and silly

A/N: AHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH ANON i hope you like where i go w the story in the future!! and hehe now that we’re in the past arc of peregrine you will actually get to see all of the nitty gritty details of their relationship in the fic itself so i won’t spoil it 🤫 but i love nagi ofc so i’ve added some general headcanons on what i think he would be like as a bf

Additional: part of my 500 follower event! see the event description and rules to make a request of your own.

no matter how the two of you get together, reo is somehow involved LMAOAOAO like bro is ALWAYS at the scene of the crime in some way shape or form just because i don’t think nagi would really pick up on the fact that he has a crush on you without outside intervention

it would also definitely be a jump scare when he confesses!! you would have zero idea it’s coming because he literally hasn’t changed how he acts towards you whatsoever

canonically he doesn’t really interact with a lot of people or have a lot of friends and he’s not aggressive with romance so i just don’t think he’d really know what the appropriate method of telling someone you like them is

would probably say some shit like “reo says i have a crush on you” and would be so nonchalant about it meanwhile you’re like “???” because you did not even realize he knew your name and also why is reo being brought up

i honestly think he would not be a bad boyfriend. yes he is lazy and unmotivated but he does what he needs to do and if something is important to him he generally puts in effort for it

that’s another reason why it would take him foreverrr to ask you out — he would have to like you enough that he realizes he does in fact want to have a relationship with you even if it is a hassle

he doesn’t have social media though so don’t expect there to be an official announcement that you guys are together or anything like that HAHA

he would probably forget to tell anyone that the two of you are dating and it’s not because he’s ashamed of you or is trying to hide you or anything he literally just does not care what other people think and would prefer not to talk them if possible so it never comes up

you’ll show up to an event with him and everyone’s like “omg nagi who is this” and he’s like “this is my girlfriend” and someone (probably otoya tbh) is like “since when have you had a girlfriend” and he’s like “it’s been two years 😐”

i think he would be fire at insulting people just because of how many video games he plays…that man has seen some of the worst sides of humanity

the world is lucky he’s a pacifist and avoids conflict because he has some vile stuff stored away (i will never be over him asking barou if he practiced kneeling because he’s about to make him his servant)

this particular quality makes him the BEST person to talk shit with

he’s not a gossipy boyfriend in the sense that he doesn’t have anything juicy of his own to contribute to the conversation but i’m pretty sure he mentioned he watches dramas at one point so you know he’s locked tf in if you need to complain abt someone

he will sit there and be so invested in the tea…def would not give any useful advice but he will make fun of anyone bothering you so you still end up feeling better

i don’t think he would get jealous honestly

the thought of you cheating on him doesn’t cross his mind at all because why would he date someone he didn’t trust fully???

i would say he expects the same from you because he would but at the same time he voluntarily talks to one (1) other person besides you and that’s reo so the opportunity for you to be jealous just wouldn’t even crop up

definitely super clingy and cuddly

loves being babied too

according to epnagi he has this whole automatic system in his apartment to clean and do laundry and i think he’d be fine if you appropriate that so no more cleaning!! but you will have to cook because that man literally only eats fruit jellies

genuinely how is he so built and not dying of malnutrition SKJFDSHKJ

he probably is terrible at coming up with date ideas so it’s up to you to plan things

again it’s not malicious i think for him just spending time with you is his ideal date!! like he doesn’t see the point in getting dressed up and going somewhere fancy when you could just eat at home and be comfortable together

but if it’s an important day or you tell him that you want him to suggest something for once, he WILL go all out (which means calling reo for advice and doing what he tells him to)

overall communication is key with him. he’s not particularly sensitive or in tune with other people’s emotions so being passive aggressive or expecting him to read your mind will honestly just end up making your mood worse because he will not pick up on the fact that something is wrong

but if you tell him what you want him to change he will happily do it!! he just needs to be told very clearly if you’re upset or need him to do something different

honestly it would be very refreshing. there are zero games with nagi and he doesn’t really try to hide anything — what you see is what you get 100% of the time

overall 10/10 would date idc haters dni he’s a sweetheart and he’s doing his best

#nagi x reader #nagi x y/n #nagi x you #nagi seishiro #bllk x reader #bllk #blue lock #reader insert #headcanons #m1ckeyb3rry milestone #m1ckeyb3rry writes

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kozuwhore · 2 months

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i actually never thought i'd have to make a post like this but this has actually annoyed me so much. in my previous post ,, i mentioned how me and my former friend ,, luma ,, are no longer in contact with each other due to an argument; an argument that started with them getting jealous of my irl friend and felt as though i had 'replaced' them.

while i will not only talk about that ,, i will also be disclosing their behaviour that they have performed whilst me and them had feelings for each other at the time. i will be going through everything from start to end.

before i begin ,, i want to make a quick note: if you are going to send any hate towards luma ,, that is on you and you only. i am not telling you to send hate because it won't make you any better than how they are. if you want to ask them questions about what has happened ,, ask them in a polite way and avoid any conflict.

@/scaryans aka luma was my best friend of two years ,, nearly going on three. we met on wattpad due to having a shared love of yandere simulator (neither of us support the creator) and our friendship progressed from there. we became closer upon finding out we both had feelings for one another; however ,, their toxic behaviour began inflicting onto me when i mentioned lucifer morningstar from hazbin hotel:

this was the conversation we had after me posting about lucifer. mind you ,, i never said that i was romantically interested in him ,, i just said that he was a cool character and that he is me. luma ,, however ,, got 'flashbacks' to how their ex used to be interested in not just hazbin hotel but lucifer as well. as a result ,, luma kept giving me dry responses and kept going on about how they wanted to die because of this simple matter.

in these screenshots ,, i am literally begging luma to forgive me because they would be upset with me and become depressed ,, which is something i didn’t want given how i was lovesick at the time and wanted them to keep loving me. my blinded loyalty to luma is the reason why i kept sticking by their side up until this point. shortly after me apologising ,, i agreed to never mention lucifer / hazbin hotel again to them and they forgave me (mind you ,, i had to ask if it was alright for me to mention the show).

truth be told ,, i did get jealous over some characters that luma liked as well (but i didn't say i was going to kill myself because of it). one character in particular was scar from wuthering waves ‐ he will be an important topic. i felt inferior to scar and often compared myself to him ,, something i talked to luma about:

throughout this vent with them ,, they gave me little responses and told me to watch a youtuber in hopes of calming me down when i told them about me still panicking about telling them this. they told me that they're not good at comforting others ,, which is understandable ,, but at the same time ,, i wrote MASSIVE paragraphs in hopes of making them feel better:

going back to scar ,, shortly after i told them about my feelings towards him ,, they later ask me to create headcanons and smut ideas for him not even half an hour later:

they say that it's because a few hours / half an hour feels like a couple days and that it's not an excuse; but you don't bother to change your behaviour after we had a talk that nearly cost us our friendship (before now)? the first time we discussed if our friendship should come to an end is when the callout post from @/rusmii was created and i kept finding stuff regarding people talking about luma / the experiences they through with them:

a day after i posted this to the server ,, luma puts in the chat how their mum wants them to drop me. of course ,, i was confused because it was so out of the blue but then this was the explanation:

not once did they say / imply that they don't want anyone talking or sending stuff related to the post. prior to this complaint (not even a week later) ,, we were having a conversation that consisted of them posting a meme about how they feel in regards to the post:

this was us talking about their rant and how i found something else following the callout post. i literally asked for their consent and they're making it out like i could give two fucks about how they feel ,, but i have done nothing but respect their boundaries in comparison to what they did with me with scar.

speaking of scar ,, i will now talk about how my irl friend's mention of scar (as well as my friend being in the groupchat) has resulted in why i'm making this post now. firstly ,, in regards to my friend ,, they asked me if they wanted to be part of the chat upon me mentioning a few topics (such as anime) that were involved (and that they enjoyed). i asked luma and they said yes.

may i mention that luma enjoys making new friends and they were really nice to rachelle (my friend) upon them joining the chat. however ,, luma started to become jealous of rachelle due to her putting her discord name title in the chat as 'olivia's n1 bff'. she meant this as a joke because no one can have a number one best friend but luma took this heart:

i reassured them and everything was fine between us; up until yesterday. me and rachelle were at work together and i started talking about the game ,, wuthering waves ,, and how it's a channel in the chat that keeps popping up. i talked about how my friends in the server have their f/os ,, showing rachelle different pictures of them ,, but when i showed the picture of scar ,, she got a picture of him and posted it to the chat. she talked about how she's gonna play the game because scar looks cool.

but luma being luma ,, they took it wrong and thought rachelle had a crush on them. rachelle isn't part of the selfshipping community and knows little about how attached luma is to scar / jiyan. this resulted in another conversation between us:

i asked ,, if not BEGGED ,, rachelle to take the message down because luma was clearly upset about it. she did so and everything was calming down in the chat. but luma decided to send me a message about our friendship AGAIN while the second screenshot was sent to the server SIX MINUTES LATER:

in regards to them talking about us not being best friends anymore ,, i had to comfort them AGAIN about it ,, which is when i started to get annoyed about the whole thing. we made up again but for some reason three hours later they sent another rant (classic luma behaviour):

today ,, rachelle responded to the rant and everything they said was the complete truth that i wish i got to tell them before our argument outside the chat. luma aka "the person who doesn't take responsability for their actions" soon sends a response:

you call it a "comfort space" but you're literally making me and my friend uncomfortable BECAUSE NOT ONLY ARE WE SENDING "DM-LIKE" MESSAGES TO EACH OTHER IN THE CHAT:

AND THE FACT THAT SHE DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU HAVE AN UNHEALTHY ATTACHMENT TO A FUCKING FICTIONAL CHARACTER IS PATHETIC. how were we making a disturbance in the chat? you never said any specific person being uncomfortable with how we were talking plus rachelle only knew me PERSONALLY in the server ,, so did you really expect them to make friends that fucking quickly? good fucking bye.

yesterday ,, that was when our argument began and we finished it today. the following screenshots are what i consider to be the highlights of our dispute:

i can't add anymore screenshots due to the image limit but luma responded with "OH MY GOD CAN YOU ACTUALLY LISTEN TO ME FOR TWO SECONDS WITHOUT DICKRIDING RUNI AND THOSE ASSHOLES?" + "i swear you’ve been piggybacking off them this whole argument and it makes no sense."

you told me to take accountability for sending several apologies after i did something to upset you - which was a one time thing - and i did that ,, i respected that ,, but it's ironic that you're the one telling me to take responsibility when you haven't done that after two expose posts. THOSE POSTS were mentioned in the argument because you haven't grown yourself; you're still gatekeeping characters ,, getting overly jealous over my friend and saying that i "replaced" you.

just like rachelle said ,, you are chronically online and you need to go touch some fucking grass (without using it to smoke with). i reassured you TWICE about our friendship and you were still going on about it as if your whole world is crumbling. not only were you trying to gatekeep scar but you were beginning to want to gatekeep me ,, an actual human being ,, as well. if those two callout posts didn't help alter your behaviour ,, i hope to god this one does because this is coming from your former best friend of two years ,, which are years that i will never get back because of your toxic ways.

i regret ever defending you ,, i regret ever having feelings for you and i regret being your friend. you mean absolutely nothing to me and don't even think about my opinion as an excuse to guilt trip others into thinking you're the victim; you'll just be acting like a carbon copy of gabby hanna again.

if my other friends in the server don't wish to make contact with me anymore ,, that is fine. please talk to me in private and (for the love of god not) dick ride luma in the server or elsewhere by defending them with how they've acted that lead to this.

i would like to apologise to anyone that luma has villainised such as runi ,, zai ,, briar ,, ari and many others because you had every right to dislike them for what they have done to you / caused to others. the fact that i was siding with them didn't make things any better and i should have realised the moment the events that happened between you and luma were going on sooner. if you wish to speak with me about anything (whether it's about luma or not) ,, my dms are open and that goes for anyone else that wasn't mentioned above.

( taglist: @aslettes and @ddeardolly )

#⚠️┆important #hsr x reader #genshin x reader #wuwa x reader #bsd x reader #genshin impact #honkai star rail #wuthering waves #bungou stray dogs #<- tagging these fandoms as luma has ruined the experience of people in those fandoms #scaryans #ji-yans #lu-naes #dazaiisdior #diorlumx

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dropthedemiurge · 8 months

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Love for Love's Sake | Things You Didn't Notice #3 | Learning Korean with the boys

I have (barely) emotionally recovered after the ending of this series, and so I'm back with my usual translation notices and cultural specialties posts ^^ Long post ahead!

// Read previous posts with translations & comments I pointed out //

This time I'll look at the Episode 3 [Yeowoon's Affection level from 0 to -99]. Disclaimer: I'm not fluent in Korean but I've been learning it for years and I've lived and studied in Korea for a while. However, in particular Sangwon and Sia annoyed me so much this episode because their banter is so funny but I cannot decipher their wordplay 100% by ear without KR subs so I have to skip over their dialogues %)

Anyway, there's still some fun language stuff to point out!

- "You're late, Senior (hyung)" - "Senior? (Sunbae?)"

Fun fact: Sangwon, who's the same year as Yeowoon, addresses Myungha as "hyung". Meanwhile Yeowoon addresses Myungha only as "sunbae". Hyung is a term guys call their older male friends (if you're familiar with Thai BLs as well, it's same as "Pi"), meanwhile gender-neutral sunbae means senior, someone who's been longer than you in the industry or some institution (like school).

If I remember correctly, Yeowoon keeps calling Myungha 'sunbae/senior' until the very end of the show. Even when they are sleeping over in the same house after school hours, Yeowoon doesn't call Myungha hyung but sunbae only. In Korea, you use titles or formal full names to people older than you or acquaintances, and you usually use names with the people younger than you. That's why, if you think about it, there wasn't a moment in show when Yeowoon says Myungha's name :D Only sunbae. And that's normal. (this is also why Myungha never mentions Writer sunbae's name at all)

Also, we'll return to Myungha's usage of Yeowoon's name a bit later.

"Keep doing it if you want to die young, Sangwon-ah." "*gasp* You call me by my name when you're mad?"

But Sangwon is talking to Myungha in a very familiar way, using 'hyung' instead of 'senior' every time, making it feel like they are friends (and most of their interaction this episode revolves around Sangwon trying to make Myungha talk to him like a close friend as well xD).

Why is Sangwon so thrilled every time Myungha calls him by his name? Because there are many other Korean words you can use for people, especially if you're angry with them (ranging from the impolite 'this guy' to swearwords). But every time Myungha gives a casual warning to Sangwon who's annoying him, he still says "Sangwon-ah", which is how you'd call your younger friend who's just being a brat. No wonder Sangwon keeps pushing Myungha to get his attention and affection^^

On the topic of names and intonation: I noticed Myungha uses aegyo (acting cute) often when he talks to his grandma. However, with other school students, like I mentioned in my previous language posts, most of the time his speech feels like a patronizing talk of a 29-y.o. adult.

But! I found that one scene when Myungha is deliberately using aegyo with Yeowoon! The reason for it is that Yeowoon finally responded and wanted to meet up after avoiding him for so long, and Myungha is extremely excited.

"Yeowoon-ie, you're waiting for hyung?~" "Don't use that voice".

Two things: Myungha calls himself Yeowoon's "hyung" which feels closer than "sunbae", he wanted to take the next step and make their communication less formal. And instead of saying friendly "Yeowoon-ah" like he always does, he changed the pronunciation of his name to "Yeowoon-ie" — which is, together with the playful intonation in his voice, is so. fucking. cute. However, Yeowoon instantly rejected his aegyo and Myungha returned to the way he always spoke x) RIP.

I already pointed it out briefly in another post but – Myungha cooked a curry rice for dinner with Yeowoon. It might not seem like anything, but I thought it was an amazing detail to show later in the series that even when Yeowoon almost forgotten about Myungha who disappeared, he kept bulk buying rice with curry (yellow packages) for his dinner.

"You act like you're my parent (guardian)." "Well, you're not wrong."

I thought that Myungha telling Yeowoon he's not wrong about him being his "parent" was a bit weird, and indeed, the word they are using here is 보호자 (bohoja), which is "guardian". It can be said about parents but also about anyone who's protecting something or someone as well. Which is exactly what Myungha is striving to do in this world and in this game. To protect and take care of Yeowoon.

"My mom split (ran away) but my dad said she died." "I wish I could split (run away)... I kept running around the field because I felt frustrated. But how could I run away?"

Here I'll need some help from native English speakers, which I'm not, can 'split' be used in this dialogue with the same connotation? Because in Korean, Myungha clearly says "My mom ran away", to which Yeowoon responds "I wish I could run away" and immediately remembering about the reason why he became a runner. And I just loved the accent the show made on this word, which got lost in Gaga subs.

"Don't slack off because you think no one sees." "Maintain your image (Do some mental training)"

This one is surely a mistranslation. The coach says "Do Image Training", in Korea and in some other Asian countries, as far as I encountered this term, this basically means "mental training", or "meditation" and has nothing to do with maintaining one's reputation.

Think "breathe in, breathe out and think how well you'll do and imagine yourself running that race before it starts".

Yeah, probably no one cared about that dialogue or scene anyway, but I hope you're still enjoying my hyperfixation on this show xD Anyway, it's been a long post and I'm done for Episode 3 — but as a bonus, let me share bonus with one of the Sangwoon x Sia scenes.

I tried hard to figure out the word that Sia uses when Myungha pleads her to get rid of Sangwoon, and the closest I could get was 분력 (the power of Buddha), but one thing for sure — following Myungha's begging, Sia cross-sprayed Sangwoon with perfume like holy water and ordered him like "Begone, demon!". Lmao :D

#love for love's sake comments #haha i hope I won't fixate over every moment in the next episodes otherwise I'll never end #but there is such an interesting scene in Episode 4! It'll take me another long post for sure #love for love's sake meta #korean language #language #love for love's sake #kbl #korean bl #kdrama #bl series #korean drama #love supremacy zone #dropthemeta

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meafortuna · 1 year

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ASTRO NOTES # 7

Spiritual awakening or just an astrology? 🪬

It's kind of a trend nowadays to get into spirituality, which I can't say is a bad thing, but I'm a logical thinking person and an over-thinker😅 and decide to go a little deeper into this topic. After all, astrology is a science, and that science can explain a lot about things like the dark night of the soul, the death of the ego, or even twin flames. Here are some astrological transits that will make you feel like something extraordinary is happening to you. I hope you enjoy this one. 🫶

• Uranus transiting (conjunction, opposition, square) your natal Moon. You may start to feel like you are thunderstrucked⚡️, something in you have really changed with the blink of an eye. Your emotions may become more unpredictable, your thoughts may start moving in different places and directions. It’s like you are going crazy, but you know you’re not. You will feel just like an alien, like you don’t belong here. 🛸

• Transit Pluto to your natal Sun. Oh, my godness! 🫥 This is one of the biggest transformation you will have in your life, especially if it’s in conjunction with your Sun. The ego death is real, your whole belief system changes and it’s hard, really hard. You will struggle with the urge to make the changes you will need to make, because you will have to lose someone or something you don’t want to lose. This will be your greatest rebirth. 🌅 After this transit, nothing will be the same in you and for you. It’s painful, but it’s probably the most powerful and beautiful process of your entire life.

• Saturn returns, in particular the first one. Here the things can be a little bit smoother, because after all Saturn represents the karma, the lessons we have to learn. 🪐 So if you have been working hard on the things you want and you still doesn’t see any results, wait until your Saturn return, everything it will reward you. And if you haven’t done any work to achieve your goals (here we can talk about health, work, love life and etc, depends on the house your Saturn is sitting) you will have to learn the hard way why does something always go wrong. In these about two and a half years, you will have to learn some lessons about patience or responsibility, in other words - you will have to grow up. 🐛 - 🦋

• Transiting Neptune 🔱 aspecting your Moon. With this transit you can start diving really deep into your subconscious. 🧘‍♀️You may feel the urge to start exploring yourself more, things like astrology, psychology, esotericism will naturally appeal to you. But there’s always a catch… there is a danger of overuse of substances that can lead to addiction. But if you’re smart enough, you will use the 🍄🍃more as a tool and with intent, not just to escape reality or to make yourself feel better.

• On the Twin Flame topic. ♾️ Here we don’t talk about transits, just aspects.

Pluto/Saturn/Neptune in contact with Venus or luminaries in synastry. The intense of the connection between two individuals it will be so strong, powerful and magnetic, like its something really destined to be. Aspects like this can lead to feeling like you have finally met your Twin Flame. 🎎🔥I will quickly explain why. With Pluto you will feel that transformative love you have never met before, we know the relationship between twin flames is super tense and emotional. 💣 Saturn will make you go back to each other, because there are lessons that have to be learned, that gives the on and off dynamic of the couple and the feeling you know that person from before. Neptune will give you that telepathic and outworldly feeling. 💞

I don’t want to kill the magic, but science is science and if you know how to use it, you will go much easier through your spiritual awakening journey.✨⚔️📚

~meafortuna💙

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plumpybread · 7 months

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I have three kinks for you to rate! (Was gonna be two, then thought a bit more…whoops!)

1. POV Gaining: Whether someone enjoys getting a glimpse at what their future might hold, or getting into perspective at just what a particular character deals with daily and how they see themselves, I think POV gaining’s pretty fun! Seeing how their belly slowly (or rapidly!) takes up their view, seeing their struggles and contrast, at huuuge sizes seeing the chins, cheeks even, the sweat, sandbag chest, jackets of arm-lard, and little else…and that’s not even mentioning what it’d look like while they dress, eat, or travel…imagine them in tiny car, being fed or at lunch, seeing them put on a shirt that seems to fit, but they can’t see how they spill out from behind, or the extra inch revealed as at the bottom…

2. Generational/Family Gaining: Pretty common trope with you ;) Seeing large families, similar in build or attitude, but a difference in height, definitely in weight, the contrast there, along with the ‘normalcy’ of becoming another bed bound family member in a very thick, very wide family tree…of course, this had to start somewhere, some lovely couple that loved a little too much, and brought that love into families for generations, and those traditions spread out to every single member, no one untouched by the genes, and only recursive, since no one’ll change them, hell, probably add another one!

3. Rapid Gaining: For you in particular, I mean it in the sense of rapid over time, in the way that someone might gain 50 pounds in a month, then 100 over half a month, 200 over a year, then skipping numbers and breaking three milestones of a broken couch, outgrown cars, and needing more than one seats traveling, all in the span of a week or weekend…

Alright, lemme see!

I love playing with perspectives cause there's so much to write about on a topic like weight gain, and the way you describe it is SOOO good. I don't often find myself imagining POV scenarios cause Im more of a feeder than a feedee, but it's always fun to sometimes try to get into the eyes of a certain character and see how they live with such obesity through their view. I would actually love to implement that but it's hard to make POV art in such a way, but It always lives in a hidden corner of my mind

LOOOVE dis one, you already know how it's pretty much the whole premise of my OC Anthony with the tradition of his family to get super fat. Biggest thing I love about weight gain is when it almost seems unavoidable and the environment they're in just pushes them to continue growing more obese, looooooove

I know fast weight gain is a common kink, but unfortunately it's not my thing, whether it be instant weight gain or over the span of just some days, I don't really feel anything with it. The slow, realistic buildup and eventual spiraling weight over the span of months is much more my thing cause there's time to develop the consequences and changes in the life of the character because of it and I find that much more attractive than simply the physical growth of the character

#ask

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stormblessed95 · 3 months

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BTS have always been the group to set their own course. They’ve achieved success beyond their dreams and dealt with their feelings about how to “land” successfully. Why not break the rules again and let Jikook come out after military service? Sure, it’s scary and somewhat risky. But this is what they’re all about, right? Jimin, in particular, is getting louder and louder in the queer coding. This travel show promises yet more questionable moments. Maybe next year really will be the year for him to address “all the things we couldn’t say before”…and I think the majority of ARMY can handle it.

I swear we just had this conversation a week ago right? Lol read these, my thoughts and opinions about this haven't changed in the last 6 days lol

I'll just put the paragraph from the last post linked that deals with this topic here for all of you too in case you don't want to read through the whole thing...

"As for KM coming out? It won't happen. And as much as they deserve to just love whoever they love, if that person is each other, that will firmly be kept a secret. Maybe one day after they disband and KM are possibly still living together and not changing their behavior or hiding it, it will be even more obvious. But I don't think they will ever confirm anything. And they shouldn't really have to. But if nothing else, it 100% will never happen before disbandment. Not only do they both still have to go through military service, where if you are caught engaging in homosexual activities, you can be jailed. Why give them more reason to look for that? Don't ask, don't tell. They probably won't come out after that either. As much as it SHOULDN'T matter if two members of BTS are dating each other, it would. It would take over headlines for months. It would be all anyone is talking about. It would be asked about in all the interviews. Their relationship would become world gossip fodder. And the focus would be less on the 7, less on the music they create and more on the social and political upheaval their coming out would be. That isn't fair to their hardwork, their passion and their life work. It also isn't fair to the rest of the band. Their sexuality would for a while, overshadow their music. I don't think they would ever take the risk of being remembered for who they love, rather than for what they loved doing. Hopefully that also made sense. Maybe one day they will feel comfortable sharing whatever their relationship is with the world, but they are under no obligation to ever do so and I personally don't think they will."

It would be wonderful if they ever did feel comfortable coming out and sharing more with us. That would be an ideal world. I just personally don't see that happening.

#jikook #kookmin

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etherealspacejelly · 1 month

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ok so i just watched star trek the motion picture for the third time and this time it was the directors cut with the extra scenes, and i have some Thoughts™️that may or may not be entirely coherant but i need to share them

here is my in depth literary analysis of why star trek the motion picture is the greatest queer love story ever written (/hj). buckle up because this is gonna be a long one

so our story starts (after the klingon cold open ofc) with spock on vulcan, during the final ceremony in which he is supposed to acheive kohlinar, the purging of all emotion. now, right off the bat, i want to make a comparison to conversion therapy/being closeted/repressed here. spock is trying to repress an entire side to himself, a part of him that is inherantly different to those around him, in order to be accepted in society. spock is already a very queer coded character, and i think reading this scene through that lens is a valid interpretation, especially considering everything else that happens in this movie.

the ceremony stops before its completion. because spock has Not purged all of his emotions. a consciousness calls to him from the sky. now, i think this line could be interpreted one of two ways. either this 'consciousness' is v'ger, or its jim. i think the writers intended it to be v'ger, but in the context of the scene it sounds a lot more like jim. of course jim would be the one preventing spock from purging his emotions: jim is the reason for many of spocks emotional slip-ups throughout the series. he fears for jims life when he is in danger, he feels friendship for jim but also shame about those feelings (that shame is also queercoded, but thats not the point of this post so i wont get into it here). he feels compassion for jim. he feels loyalty and a sense of duty to him. these feelings are so strong that he cannot purge them fully.

so what does spock do? he off goes in search of something that he feels will help him achieve his goal. he wants peace within himself, to find a balance between his two opposing mindsets, that of logic and that of emotion. purging all emotion was unsuccessful, so what else can he do?

he feels that v'ger is a being of pure logic, and wants to understand it, in hopes of achieving that for himself. in the process he meets up with jim again. now, you would think, that a vulcan nearing kohlinar who has been training for years to purge all of his emotions and act purely logically would not stop to change clothes and cut his hair when on his way to acheive LITERALLY HIS LIFE GOAL that is super important to him. and yet. when spock turns up on the enterprise hes wearing his nicest black robes and has his classic bangs back. why is that mr spock?? why would you take the time to do that?? especially when he then immediately changes into his uniform.

and while we're on the topic of clothes, what does jim do immediately after spock boards the enterprise? thats right folks, he changes into a shirt that shows off his arms and has a v-neck to show off his chest. any. particular reason for that jim? when you said just a moment ago that every minute counts and the earth is in danger? hmm. interesting.

and then of course we get that exchange between jim, spock, and bones. where jim 'needs' spock. just like he needed bones. theres a desparation in his eyes, he wants HIS spock back, and hes not seeing that spock in front of him. the conversation ends with jim looking dejected, since spock only seems to be there out of convenience and not because he Wants to be. wonder why that is...

of course then spock mind melds with v'ger. and to do so he has to. go through a very sphincter-like opening. and says he has 'penetrated' the next chamber. now im just saying. if anything is a metaphor for gay sex, this has to be, right?

anyway.

spock mind melds with v'ger and is flung back into jims arms. because of course he is. and what did he learn from the whole experience? that v'ger is pure logic, and therefore cannot experience beauty, imagination, and "this simple feeling". wait. hang on. what simple feeling would that be, spock? the one you're talking about while holding jim's hand (HANDS?? VULCAN HOLDING HANDS?? HELLO???) and staring into each others eyes? what feeling would that be, i wonder?

and then. SPOCK CRIES. for v'ger. he 'weeps for v'ger as he would for a brother". v'ger is 'empty', as spock was when he came aboard. "incomplete, and searching. logic and knowledge are not enough," he says. bones asks if spock has found what he needed, and v'ger hasnt. spock says that v'ger wants to know what it was meant to be, to reach out and touch its creator.

spock is crying because he empathises with v'ger. v'gers journey parallels his own. they were both empty beings of pure logic. spock found his fulfilment in... what exactly? its not explicitly clear. but if we continue the spock/v'ger parallel to its conclusion, what do we find?

v'ger has taken ilia's form, and decker decides to merge with v'ger not only to save earth, but also to reunite with the woman he loves. v'ger becomes satisfied only when this happens. so... spock found his fulfilment by reuniting with someone he loves? if we take this in context with the 'this simple feeling' scene, the queer subtext is right there.

at the end of the movie, spock is offered to return to vulcan, and he refuses, stating that his business there is finished. he has achieved his goal of finding peace within himself. not by purging all emotion, but by embracing emotion, alongside logic, and allowing himself to feel what he has repressed his entire life. he resumes his place at jims side, which, as edith keeler stated, is where he belongs.

this movie is a queer story, and i will die on this hill. all of the evidence together stacks up that way. it is a story of repression, self acceptance, and love.

ALSO THE POSTER IS A RAINBOW-

#star trek #star trek tos #star trek the motion picture #spirk #the premise #k/s #star trek analysis #literary analysis

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goddessjichu · 1 year

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in which the both of you are just two (oblivious) idiots in love

565 words // just fluff // they are dumb af lmao

[☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ]

You don't remember when it started.

Not that it matters. Because, at this point, you've fallen way too deep for Jeon Jungkook anyway.

Not that it matters either, because he doesn't know and you don't plan on letting him know. For once, you're glad that Jungkook is dense when it comes to your feelings even though he's pretty much sensitive to everything else.

You think it's simply because he's crossed you off his list; it probably never strikes him that you, of all people, would harbor any romantic feelings towards him. After all, you're his best friend and best friends are supposed to care for each other and spend time with each other 25/8, right?

Nothing weird about him laying down on your lap and folding himself small to lean himself on your shoulder, right?

Absolutely nothing weird about him calling you at ungodly hours because he forgets you're on the other side of the world during his trip abroad, and you willingly wake up to answer his call without saying shit about it, right?

Yeah.

"Is it just me or are you a little out of it these days?" You blink at the sudden question, his voice snapping you out of your mind.

"Huh?"

He clicks his tongue and shakes his head jokingly, his shoulder bumps into yours as if to shake you awake from whatever's keeping you in your mind.

"See?" He grins. "Out of it. What's in that pretty head of yours?"

Stop. You want to tell him. Stop making my heart flutter when you're not even doing anything in particular.

Pathetic. You want to tell yourself.

"Nothing." You shrug, hope that it's enough to convince him. "Just zoning out."

"You're zoning out because you have something in your mind, though."

"Not this again." You roll your eyes, making him laugh when you fail to elbow him because he moves away before you can even do anything. "It's really nothing, Kook. Don't worry."

"Hmm, 'kay. I don't buy that but I'm letting you go for now." He nods to himself, not minding your exasperated sigh. "I'll get it out of you one day though. Don't think I'd forget."

You doubt he will, because you have no plan to tell him at all about your predicament. No, you genuinely believe your feelings would pass even though it's been about a year since you tried to convince yourself that.

"Whatever." You try to change the topic. "You look chirpy. What's up?"

Jungkook blinks. "I do?"

"Yeah. Anything good happened?"

Jungkook thinks back about the package that has just arrived today, a limited edition LP that you've always mentioned you want but you can never find anywhere. It was a mission finding it, let alone purchasing the thing, but your birthday is around the corner and imagining the surprise in your eyes and the smile in your face is going to be more than worth it.

"Nah. Just that your birthday is around the corner."

"Aren't I supposed to be the one chirpy about that, then?"

"Well, I'm already looking forward to what you're treating me to this year." He wraps his arm around your shoulder and shoves you into his chest. "I'm so going to eat a lot and make you broke."

You roll your eyes and jab his waist, Jungkook's laugh echoing through your apartment.

It's going to be worth it, alright.

#jungkook scenarios #jungkook fluff #jungkook drabble #jungkook imagine #bts fluff #bts drabble #bts scenarios #bts au #jungkook au #jungkook scenario #bts fic #jungkook fanfic #k:writing

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dreamcatcherphenomenon · 26 days

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So in honor of it being two weeks since MYATB ended, I figured I would talk about what I'm working on. I’m writing a fanfiction (which, I haven't done in, like... 10 years). This plot just got into my head and I had to write it.

The plot (which was developed from something I posted after the final episode) where Xiaobao and Shaoyu go on an unexpected adventure against their wills, putting the two brats together to--hopefuly--build a friendship (read as: create a terrifying duo). While Huai'En and Su Yin also have to unwillingly team up to find them. It’s set a year after the show with the planned wedding being three months away.

I've written it mostly just for me and my desire to see more happily ever after play out in the show, and my absolute love for the characters. It is based on the show (ages, viewpoints, etc.) with very few things pulled from the novels.

If you’re interested in seeing more, below are a few of my favorite lines so far in no particular (or chronological) order.

The leader, slightly fazed by the look on Huai’En’s face, took a step back. “And who the hell do you think you are?”

“We could ask you the same question.” Shaoyu spat, annoyed with the gall of these men.

Followed directly by Xiaobao’s gleeful “that’s my wife!”

Shaoyu looked at him with eyes that seemed to ask him what the fuck was wrong with him while Su Yin simply gave an exasperated sigh.

“Xiaobao, their last prank started a fire in our bedchamber.” The exasperation in Huai’En’s voice was nearly comical.

Su Yin cleared his throat. “What about you, Xiaobao, are you feeling well enough to ride?”

Before Xiaobao had even a moment to process the question, Huai’En and Que Siming said in unison, “don’t change the topic like that, Su Yin.”

Said man glared at the two in response.

As he entered the courtyard, [Huai'En] met Su Yin, who had been coming from another area of the palace.

“Have you seen Xiaobao?”

Su Yin raised an eyebrow, “Maybe he finally came to his senses and left you.”

“And who are you to tell me what to do?” Shaoyu looked a touch offended.

Standing up, Xiaobao raised his chin in challenge. “Who is going to stop me?”

He made a show of sweeping an arm out at the forest that seemed to be inhabited only by them.

Su Yin protested, “let me go after the carriage, I know the area better.”

“And send him to question people?” Zhao Cai asked, jerking a thumb at Huai’En. “Someone would probably die.”

Huai’En didn’t even deny the idea of possibly killing someone.

I'm not a great writer, but if there's an interest to see more, I may make it public, idk.

#meet you at the blossom #myatb spoilers #huaibao

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itsevanffs · 2 months

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My five favourite fics

Thanks for the tag @moontearpensfic :3

"Self-rec time! What are your favorite five fics that you've written and why? After replying to this ask, feel free to pass on to five other writers to spread the love. 💗"

Ok this is a little difficult. In no particular order:

slowly [E, 14/?, Spider-Verse, Miguel O'Hara/Miles Morales]

Slowly is currently my favourite fic! This might change but I'm 1/3rds through it and it's still going really strong, which is super fun. For those who don't follow my spiderverse stunts, here's a plot summary:

Miguel, a 37 year old divorcee, gets invited to Miles' 14th birthday party through happenstance, where they befriend each other. Over the next six months, that friendship deepens into something Miles isn't quite prepared to handle, and which Miguel isn't ready to give up.

It tackles a lot of (in my eyes) pretty complex subjects, like the nuances of parental neglect, grooming, trans experiences, sibling dynamics, teen sexuality and more :D Aside from that, it's also a PWP, which tend to be my favourites overall. It's a good brain squeeze for me to navigate all the intertwined realistic aspects while still making it believable, and from the response I've gotten, that seems to be something I do pretty well!

Anabiosis [E, 3/3, Harry Potter, Tom Riddle/Harry Potter (implied)]

Anabiosis was a big ol chonker of a fic, and took a lot of research to get right, particularly in the last chapter. I cried as I wrote the ending of the first chapter---I think I sobbed for about 20 minutes straight, a sentiment a lot of commenters have echoed---and it's very close and dear to my heart. It's a big character study about grief; grief for something you never got to have, grief for something you didn't know was there until it was gone, and grief for something you always took for granted. I think it turned out the best it could be, and I'm glad I wrote it.

At the expense of the world [E, 5/?, Harry Potter, Tom Riddle/Harry Potter]

At the expense of the world (or expense, for short) is one of the oldest ideas for a fic I've ever had. I've always been sort of fascinated by ancient Roman culture, and the second I learned about the honestly massive amounts of slavery they did, I wanted to write a fic about it. That's over a decade ago, now, although this fic itself is a lot younger; it's just turned 2 and a bit :D It's also got a lot of research behind it, and while it's more fantasy and PWP than anything else, I'm still really grateful to the very warm response it's gotten!

Sugar [E, 3/8, Spider-Verse, Miguel O'Hara/Miles Morales]

Sugar is a big excuse for me to play around with a bajillion iterations of the omegaverse at once, and it's really fun! I also really like how organic the dialogue has turned out; watching ATSV 30+ times has really helped me nail down their voices :D It's got some heavy topics in it, like sexism (fantasy sexism I guess) and cultural differences among universes regarding treatment of different dynamics. It's cool! I love exploring stuff like that, so Sugar is a tasty treat to me! (pardon the pun)

the bad man [E, 1/1 Spider-Verse, Miguel O'Hara/Miles Morales]

This is my first ever pornshot with complete nonconsent, which was a pretty notable milestone for me! I had a lot of fun writing it---I think I wrote it in like... a week or something. I'd check but that takes the fun out of it :P It has two iterations; a teacher/student version, and a brother/brother version. The brother version is a separate fic, you can find it in the series if you want. I'm not sure which one I like better, tbh

Okay, uhh, tag... @cindle-writes, @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger, doubling the tag for @mosiva, and @aldergroves and @muchymozzarella. no pressure obv :)

#tag game #this doubles as a psa that i am taking yet another break #see you in fuck knows when #i deleted tumblr off my phone #so #yeah

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thenewrises · 7 months

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a welcome home prattle from my mind

so I've been on the Welcome Home train since last year but I never delved into theories about the website. mostly I've just searched from the side, talked to friends who also enjoyed it, and watched videos on it such as Night Mind. but! with the recent updates, I have to say I have sooooo many thoughts and ideas about it. with horror being my favorite genre and loving when I have the ability to research a website full of secrets, it was only a matter of time before I dived in.

so! if you're interested, here are some thoughts I have about the update and maybe some interesting theories.

also! some of these ideas are thanks to the many theories I've read here on tumblr as well as watched when Night Mind released his vod. also including findings as well!

Welcome Home belongs to the lovely @partycoffin! if you are new to this site, please read the credits page where you can find warnings!

stick around and get comfy, this is a long one.

so there is no perfect order this will all go in, so I will label what I will discuss in bold and then go from there.

Voice Warps

something that we are not strangers to is many audio recordings and their voice warps. from the last update, anytime someone tried talking to or about Wally, their voice would contort and the tape would end. this time, we received more vocal content (shoutout to the VAs they are incredible) and there was one in particular that me and many others caught on. Wally is known not to know much about emotions or how to express them. from my knowledge after many hours perusing Clown's blog, Wally is somewhat of a blank slate. learning as the show moves.

in the audio recording "Homewarming Storybook Record", during the end of this tape in the last two or so minutes, Wally says that he's sad and doesn't know why.

starting at 18:16, after Barnaby explains why he may be sad, Wally gets... frustrated. upset. he says in a clearly perturbed voice "...how can that be?" the audio warps during this time, almost as if his entire environment around him changed just by his own emotions.

why is this? we know Wally is somewhat the center of this puppet universe, and the moment he expresses a negative emotion, it's almost like the worlds stability was tilted.

as long as he is his normal and happy self, the world seems fine and at peace. yet, the moment he expresses his despair, it's like a switch flipped. it's only when Barnaby explains what the meaning of Housewarming is, which reassures Wally, that he returns to his happy and now relieved self.

Frank and Julie (TW: Homophobia)

this will be a much more sensitive topic to discuss, and as someone who is LGBT+ myself, it is not always a fun thing to research. but, I think this plays a super important role in the overall story of Welcome Home and my theories for the future.

another new edit I discovered, as well as something I've learned reading on the site and listening to audios, is the push for Frank to play a straight role. of course, this is the 70s we're talking about. the Stonewall Riots had only just happened in 1969, and homosexuality was still noted as a mental disorder. when the DSM-I was released, homosexuality was labelled as a sociopathic disorder until 1974. the idea of an LGBT+ relationship in a children's show would be unheard of.

with us knowing Eddie and Frank are romantically involved, that makes this all the more heartbreaking to know. Frank playing off his feelings by calling Eddie "Mr. Dear." Frank playing all the straight male roles alongside Julie. Sally calling Julie and Frank's costumes "a couples costume."

I find this such an interesting thing to include because not only is it eerily accurate to the timeframe, it also makes me think.

these are puppets. fictional and unthinking puppets. costumes you could even say. a person who creates the so-called fictional world of Welcome Home can control the narrative however they please because these aren't real people! of course they can be whatever you want! so... why did they create this relationship for Eddie and Frank? could it be someone within the Playfellow studio wanted to bring more positive awareness to the topic? were the actors who voiced (in this fictional world) the characters romantically involved?

or... are these puppets alive? they have their own emotions, thoughts, opinions. we know Wally is a sentient being, I mean, he literally would talk to us through the website. he reaches out to us through links, videos, audios, and even phone calls. so, does that mean EVERYONE is sentient?

in the audio "Eddie's Big Lift Storybook Record", we even hear Frank say to Eddie, "you always did work so hard." so, did they know each other in a past life? is this representative of the real life in story (fictional) voice actors?

we'll discuss this more later.

Sally Knows Something Is Out There

this is not new, as this was from the Halloween update but I wanted to include it because I feel like it's a look into the horrors of the world.

in the audio "Happy Haunting to Boo and Yours! Storybook Record", the transcript down not catch this, but Sally goes on to explain that out in the night, something lurks and waits for prey. it crawls around at night, up walls, scratching and screeching. Sally made sure to mention to ask, "why don't we go out at night?"

with her being a star from the sky, I sometimes wonders if before coming to the neighborhood she had seen it. and if not that, she mentioned if you stay quiet and stick close to the windows you can hear it. it cannot enter homes, it eats bugs if it's starving. it seems to have eaten other "neighbors." what could "it" be? some kind of creature in the night? why is it hunting them down?

Away From Prying Eyes

from all the symbols scattered on the website and with the help of the decoder in the Merchandise tab, we end up unscrambling an address.

we discover the website https://www.awayfrompryingeyes.net/ . in this site, we get to peruse "W" and their findings. now I think I can speak for a lot of people that my initial reaction was this was Wally. of course, this was dismissed rather swiftly after realizing that 1. this person was contacted by Wally and 2. they work for the project.

one thing that caught my eye quickly was the fact that the curator of the initial website became "unwell" and no one knew why. they claimed they did not know what caused them to be so unwell, or why they "created that page."

my guess is they mean the new (or in general) Welcome Home website. the curator created the new one because of Wally's interaction with it. they are trying to keep him silent, push away any suspicion. just who might this curator be?

W explains how they became Paranoid (with a capital P) once they discovered the collection of crude drawings, texts, and videos. seems to show that they are understanding that this has gone from a simple project to a unnatural phenomena.

the phone call from Wally is him talking to You (the collective You he knows) and he seems to express loneliness. "everyone is so busy during Homewarming", and he explains how quiet it is. I think he finds You to be a way to not feel so alone, as he seems to be the only sentient puppet of the crew.

well... he used to be the only one.

Commercials For Cigarettes and Pills

in the commercials, we get an array of holiday-themed music and advertisements. of course, we'll talk about the Eddie snippets, but I found a lot of disturbance with some of these. Welcome Home is a children's show, and many of the advertisements reflect that! products like cereal, music, Wally Ball and Cup, and Mama Beagle's Barnyard Eggnog. and then it gets... odd.

adults of course can enjoy this show, but it targets a young demographic. we get a commercial for Hooplah, a cigarette brand. then a commercial for Remderem, a sleeping pill.

now, this is the 70s, so maybe this could be a poor judgement marketing goal. I would not be surprised if it was a ploy for more money, but I still just find it so interesting that a children's show would advertise these. even in the merchandise tab of the project website, there's a fake pipe that blows bubbles. it all feels highly inappropriate for a child to intake this kind of material.

well, who said Playfellow was a moral brand?

Eddie Becomes Fully Sentient

we watch in real time the moment that Eddie realizes who he is.

during the commercials video, we find Eddie Dear preparing for the holidays. he starts off with a conversation with Poppy, which moved into her saying he works too much. throughout the video, we have snippets of real-life felt puppet Eddie decorating a tree, wrapping gifts, and at one point he plays multiple solo rounds of Tik-Tac-Toe.

he is wondering why no one has come to him about delivering gifts. why has no one visited him? he gets so distressed that he even slams his felt hands on the table. why has no one come to see him?

Sally resolves this by saying they did it to give him a break (which is interesting to me seeing as she tends to not give him the time of day), and she brings him to the Homewarming party. so he's surrounded by the neighbors, and in a big chair (Wally's chair, in fact) with a single pea on a plate.

and then things get weird.

Eddie starts sweating, derealization sets in. he's shown alone, single pea on a plate in hand. Home is staring back at him, and a heartbeat can be heard along with Eddie's staggered breathing. is that Eddie's heart or... Home's?

everyone's voices are disappearing in the background, Eddie is in a panic. and then things get even weirder.

Eddie looks at his arms, and they're made of felt. he taps his fingers on the arm of chair, then grips it in fear.

then the frame switches, Sally brought Frank over (was she worried about him?) to let him know that yes, she watched Eddie in the Post Office all day. Eddie is looking at his hands and legs, which are no longer felt but illustrated again. Frank calls out for him, even by his first name, and Eddie didn't even know where he was. but finally just wanted to go home.

this was the moment, that I believe Eddie discovered that he was a puppet. and he was being watched.

I find the single pea on a plate so interesting as this is the description:

"take care not to place them too close together"

why is Eddie being singled out? he was left out of many advertisements during this update, thought everyone forgot about him, and was even left out of the Homewarming story with Wally and Barnaby. they had stated they met every neighbor, but why not Eddie?

Will Eddie Be Removed?

unfortunate news seeing as he is my favorite character in the entire story (Wally and Sally a close second). I adore him, and I want nothing more than for him to remain. but I have a bad feeling he may be our first victim. he's being isolated, becoming paranoid, showing emotions that may not be seen as "neighborly."

I don't think it's any coincidence that this was an early drawing we received:

I believe Playfellow is removing Eddie, or attempting to. but for what reason? because of him and Frank? because he's not needed? that's what I'm hoping to learn more about in the next updates. because let's be frank (ha, get it?), it's not looking good for our favorite country mailman.

Ghost Thoughts and Theories

now it's time for me to ramble and yap your ear off because WOW this update was my favorite by far. I think this will happen every update honestly, but I thought it would be hard to beat the last update. this was incredible, from the animation, to the voice acting, to the crafts it was all wonderfully well done. I want every characters special item from the Homewarming wishlist!.

but now, what do I think could be happening? I have two very shaky ideas. I say shaky because these could be proven wrong easily, but if one or both is not then I can continue to build on it.

1. These friendly fellas reflect reality

so one thing I thought of is that maybe they are somehow reflecting reality. I mentioned before that maybe Eddie and Frank are their fictional voice actors (not the actual ones here in our reality!) who may be in a secret relationship. could those actors reflect their characters? are they getting rid of Eddie to represent them being torn apart?

but, this is a very meh theory. reason being that we have seen these puppets are capable of sentience. they may have their own souls, thoughts, and feeling that don't reflect a real life alive person from the 70s. but, wouldn't that be interesting?

2. Eddie's sentience was real, and his soul is about to be ripped away

there's an ongoing theory I've always juggled with in my head, the idea that these puppets have souls and a conscience. I'm genuinely led to believe this because of Wally himself. he has connected with us directly from his world. some kind of alternate reality away from hours. haunting that show.

would that mean the puppets were all real and alive people at one point? or are they completely new people all together? whatever the case, they are alive but not all of them may be aware they are in a show.

well, now Eddie is and he's in trouble.

although we aren't sure if Home truly is the villain in the story, we know that Home knows Eddie has "woken up." and he does not seem happy about it. if these puppets are alive, I fear that Eddie may be erased if he can't keep quiet. taken from the narrative for not playing his part. all he had to do was be the happy and clumsy mailman, but he had to go fall for Frank. he went and started to get frustrated and negative. he's never supposed to be the angry type, he's off script.

disfunctional.

so what's next for him?

if you made it to the end, I'm glad I could keep you around! I think this update really gets the brain gears going, lots of questions we'll get answered in the future. this story is getting better by the day, and I'm thrilled to see everything that happens in the future. and I'll get to write more posts like this!

I found everything so endearing as I do every episode, and this will be a groovy ride.

#2.5k words is crazy for a text post about a silly puppet show...#my little wally plush on my shelf smiling like Everything Is Fine #i also love that julie has lil toe beans #anyways eddie protectors stand up we gotta get him outta there #how dare the 70s be not gay friendly i will be outside your house in approximately two minutes playfellow #welcome home #welcome home arg #welcome home theory #wally darling #eddie dear #frank frankly #julie joyful #barnaby b beagle #poppy partridge #sally starlet #howdy pillar #partycoffin

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treacheryinblue · 5 months

Text

Chapter 1/?

× Elysium (noun) : a place or condition of ideal happiness. type of: fictitious place, imaginary place, mythical place.

Word Count: 4.1k

An introduction of sorts.

A Noah Sebastian x OC Series

Masterlist

× Summary: Noah and his new found (sort of) friend, Persephone, battle the trivial ins and outs of being teenagers in a world that doesn't accept you. They survive together all the way into adulthood - with bouts of loneliness included - where the world is still a fickle bitch.

× Warnings!: language, violence, slowburn, friends to lovers to enemies back to friends, rinse and repeat (not even in that order), eventual smut, sexual themes, etc. Each chapter will have its own set of separate warnings.

× Author Notes: ( 1 ) Any time within the story before 2016, Persephone is still a minor, therefor sexual mentions will be kept brief and to a minimum. Nothing crude will be mentioned in a descriptive manner until she is 18+ in the story. ( 2 ) Piggybacking off of that, Noah is only two years older than her. ( 3 ) Since most personal facts about the guys are not widely known, I will be adding my own background info to them, as well as switching up/deleting real life facts we may already be aware of.

× Chapter Warnings!: language, brief sexual themes

SUMMER OF 2014

SUNDAY JUNE 22nd

PERSEPHONE

Summers in Virginia could be brutal, but this one in particular felt especially heinous. The sun was a vile orb that beat down on her skin, leaving it hot to the touch and also faintly shining with perspiration. Typically she loved the sun and the way it would make her feel, but today? Well, not so much. Despite this, she tried her best to ignore her own minuscule issues and instead focus on the words being spoken to not only her, but also the friends she surrounded herself with. They all sat around one of the outside tables at Ruffilo’s, a casual diner-like restaurant they enjoyed frequenting in the afternoons. The food was decent, and it was also one of the only establishments that wouldn't kick out teenagers who lingered too long.

“Seph? Earth to, Seph! Come in, Seph!”

“Huh?” She was quick to snap out of her little daze, her head turning towards the voice echoing her name. Maisie Linwood, her best friend since first grade, stared back at her with an arched brow and an annoyed expression. One thing to know about Maisie, she could out bitch anyone with just a cut of her eyes. Persephone figured that's probably who she picked up the same habit from years ago.

“Sorry, it's just really hot out here.” A hand was then shoved into her now empty glass to retrieve a piece of ice, that of which she began to drag along the back of her neck.

Ahhh, yes, that was nice.

“Okay, well, I need you to, like, be here with us. We're trying to figure out the details of Mason’s birthday.”

Mason being Maisie’s twin brother, and this was quite obvious when you were to look at them. Same eyes, same nose, same little beauty mark right off to the side of their cheek. Same godforsaken ‘better than thou’ attitude. And yes, they were fully aware of how horrible being named Maise and Mason was.

“Oh, right, I won't be able to go. I told you that. My parents are making me go with them to the lake that weekend.”

The ice continued to drag along her overheated skin, now shifting to the front of her neck and down her chest. Could she at least get a breeze or something? Fuck.

“Or…you can tell them you don't want to and then we can have the party at your place.” Maisie challenged with a smug smirk, as if daring anyone to tell her otherwise. “Your house does have the best pool.”

There it was. Maisie’s way of getting the things she wanted by catering to people’s egos. She wanted to say that it never worked on her, but then she would be lying.

“What the fuck are you staring at, freak? Are you seriously checkin’ out my girl?”

Thankfully, the topic was abruptly changed by Mason’s sudden outburst of anger. By the way, she was dating Mason. Kind of. It wasn't technically official…but whatever. Honestly, she didn't care one way or the other.

“I…uh…no! I was just-”

Seph squinted from the bright glare of the sun off the side of the restaurant when she turned to see what all the fuss was about. She could make out the tall figure of the guy who had been serving them, a dumbfounded look currently overtaking his narrow features. It seemed as if she wasn't the only one surprised by Mason’s show of aggression.

“Wait, what's happening?” She sat forward a bit, a hand lifting to shield over her eyes to get a better look at the commotion. Mason was now standing a couple of feet from the guy, obviously ready to go if the moment called for it. Seph could only heavily sigh, eyes rolling at his embarrassing and rather annoying reaction to…whatever had happened. That was something she still hadn't caught.

“Scrawny little freak here was just staring at you, Seph. Watching you with that fucking ice!”

Ah, so that's what the problem was? Seriously?

“I was just coming out to get the glass for a refill…” he tried to defend, but there was no knocking any sense into Mason when he got started. Just another trait him and Maisie shared, and one that she truly disliked.

“Leave him alone, Mason. Can you just let him do his job?”

Her intrusion of the conversation had given the guy a spare moment to scurry away, jaw clenched and head shaking as he did. She felt bad for him because she knew how aggravating it could be to be on the receiving end of Mason’s teenage rage, even more so when it came to his possessive nature over something that wasn't his.

“You're really going to defend him, Seph?”

Mason was now looking at her, hands thrown out to his sides in a stance of disbelief. She merely shrugged, giving him a ‘who cares?’ look before settling back in her seat. It didn't seem as if he was as capable of dropping the topic as she was, so he continued to stand there…just staring in anger. She could almost see the fumes radiating off his head like he was a furious little cartoon character.

Hilarious.

With a heavy sigh, Seph snatched her glass from the table and stood up, free hand simultaneously adjusting the hem of her shorts. “I'm going to get my refill and no, I don't need your help.” She spat at Mason, earning a scoff from Maisie and another girl within their friend group. It didn't bother her in the slightest.

Inside Ruffilo’s was at least twenty degrees cooler, and it felt so nice that she actually sighed in relief. The lack of sun now beating down on her had given her the opportunity to clear the haze from her mind and really take note of the situation. She realized that she recognized the guy as she approached the counter…but from where? With his back to her, Seph began to silently rack her brain. He was talking in hushed tones to another guy that appeared to be about the same age, but shorter and with darker hair. Something was telling her that it was his family who owned the restaurant, though she wasn’t entirely sure as to how she knew that.

The shorter guy looked at her from over the other guy’s shoulder, quickly nodding in her direction to signal her presence to him. As he turned, she adjusted her attention and their eyes locked with ease.

“Hey…” she softly spoke, a slight smile pulling at her lips. “I'm sorry about Mason…he can be a real dick sometimes.”

“Yeah…I kind of gathered that.”

Seph slowly nodded, unsure of what to say now. She tore her gaze from his, allowing it to fall down to the glass she still held. Did she even want a refill? Or had this been some ploy against herself to give the guy an apology?

The clearing of his throat garnered her attention again, and she looked up just in time to see him motioning towards the glass. “Did you want a refill?”

Once more nodding, she pulled the straw from the glass before extending it out to him. Her arms crossed over her chest now, the end of the straw being held to her lips for her to absentmindedly chew on as she waited. Seph could feel eyes on her, the weight of them rather obvious. Glancing up, she noticed the other guy eying her, as if trying to size her up.

Where did she know them from?

Then, like a light switch being turned on, it finally clicked.

“Noah,” she pointed the end of her straw to the taller guy, nodding. “We used to go to school together, right?”

It was all finally starting to come back to her. She knew she had recognized him from somewhere, though putting her finger on it took longer than she would've thought. Seph had left their public high school after freshmen year, her parents instead deciding to enroll her into a new private school that had been built. ‘It’s where all your friends will be going' they tried to explain to her, like she really needed convincing when she knew she didn't have a choice in the matter to begin with.

“Uh, yeah, I think I was a year ahead of you.”

Noah nodded as he passed her now full glass of water back her way, fresh ice included. He opened his mouth to say something else, but was quickly cut off by the other guy.

“Two years…we were two years ahead of her.”

“Dude…” Noah sighed, giving his friend a look that she wasn't quite sure how to explain.

Persephone softly chuckled, brows raised while looking back and forth between the two guys. As much as she wanted to stand there within the air conditioning, watching the two of them bicker, she knew she couldn't linger for much longer. It was only a matter of time before one of her friends came looking for her and the last thing she wanted was for another scene to break out.

“Okay, well, I'm going to go and leave you guys to it.” She took a sip from her water, though her smile lingered. “Sorry again about…”

Noah shook his head, waving it off in a nonchalant manner. “Dicks will forever be dicks.”

“I'll see you around, yeah?” After taking a couple of steps backwards, Seph then turned on her heel to make a beeline for the side door she had previously entered from.

“I'm Nick, by the way!”

Another laugh easily flowed from her, a hand lifting to wave back. “Bye, Nick!”

NOAH

“Persephone Hill, Noah? Really?”

“What?”

“Dude, she's like fucking royalty of Richmond. Her dad is some big real estate guy, owns half the buildings on this street alone.”

“And?” Noah looked to his best friend after having passed a receipt to another patron of the restaurant and wishing them a good day. “Just because her dad is some big shot, that means I can't talk to her?”

“No, but it does mean you can't fucking ogle her goodies out in public.”

He grimaced at Nick’s choice of words but tried his best to laugh it off, head shaking. “I wasn't…doing that!” Noah tossed the balled up unwanted receipt at Nick with enough force that it hit him square in the forehead, but bounced off to roll along the floor. “Who the hell says it like that anyway?”

Okay, maybe he had been doing that. Who could blame him, though? He took in a sharp breath as he tried to think of anything but the way the melted ice had dripped down her neck, getting lost behind her tank top as it slid into her cleavage. Fuck. Noah did a discreet tug of his jeans when the memory caused a stirring within, instead opting to focus on the hot plates of food that were being slid his way for distribution to tables.

“I'm just saying, okay? My dad had done business with him a couple of years back and said he's a major asshole. Never say I didn't warn you.”

THURSDAY JUNE 26th

PERSEPHONE

“You look like you could use a sugar rush.”

A set of long fingers set down a stereotypical milkshake glass in front of her, the contents of it a deep pink color. Her brows furrowed in slight confusion for a split second, before she finally looked up to see Noah standing there. He appeared to be just as tired as she felt, though she decided to not call him out for it. Instead, she offered a slight smile of appreciation.

“How could you tell?” She joked while ripping the paper from the straw before shoving it into the milkshake. “And how did you know strawberry was my favorite?”

“Well, you see…” he rubbed at the back of his neck after glancing at where Nick stood behind the counter. “Nick used all the chocolate syrup earlier for some little kids, so I couldn't do chocolate. Vanilla seemed too basic, which left strawberry as the only option. I guess you could say…I just got lucky?”

Seph gave him a single thumbs up, her mouth now occupied with the sugary treat she was happily sipping. “This might just be the pick-me-up I needed to get through this work, so thanks.”

“Yeah, I thought it was kind of late for you to be here.”

“Shit, sorry. Are you guys about to close? I can totally pack things up if so.” She licked over her lips to rid them of any milkshake remnants before she began to reach for her things. Noah held his hands out, motioning for her to stop, chuckling to himself as he did.

“You're good, you're good. I promise. Still got about an hour.”

That was when Nick came sauntering over, a basket of fries in his hand that he was digging through. He leaned against the side of the booth, bright eyes glancing back and forth between herself and Noah.

“It typically dies down around eight on weekdays, so there isn't shit to do for a bit.” Nick then nodded towards the math equations she had written out on her notebook, still chomping away at his fries. “Calculus? Wouldn't a library be better for homework?”

Noah sighed, an elbow angling out just a bit to nudge at his friend. Again the two shared a silent look, almost like they were having a conversation within their minds that she wasn't privy to.

“You would think, but the private rooms are always booked and most people don't know that you're supposed to be quiet in libraries. Shocking, right?”

“I bet your house has a grand ol' study area.”

What was Nick getting at? She couldn't really tell if he was genuinely asking or if he was somehow mocking her in his own sly way. Considering Noah's silence, Seph was going to assume it was the latter.

“Uh…” her hands rubbed along the top of her thighs, eyes glancing along her math work that was all beginning to jumble together. “It's too quiet there…makes it just as hard to focus.”

Also, the change of scenery was nice. She was tired of seeing the same walls everyday in her house, and trying to study at any of her friends’ homes would've been just as impossible. They would've become too distracted with gossip and mindless chatter.

“Hey, Nick,” she began as the end of her pencil lightly tapped against her notebook. “Can I get an order of fries too? Thanks.” If he wanted to throw a bit of mockery her way, then she would gladly do the same with her own style of attitude. The bittersweet kind where she was smiling, but her words held a slight hint of venom. Nick paused, his chewing beginning to slow as they merely stared at one another. Without another word, he nodded, and then went off to get her order prepared.

“He's sensitive, you know,” Noah joked, pointing in the direction his friend had wandered off.

“Oh, I'm sure he can manage to get what he gives.”

Persephone adjusted the pencil in her hand, now beginning to continue her work. She didn't know why she was even attempting to because there was no way she’d be able to focus. Her attention span had run out at least an hour ago, and not even a strawberry milkshake could bring it back. As she pretended to work, Noah was doing the same. He began to clean the tables in her surrounding area, his lanky tattooed arms drawing her attention in ways she never thought possible. Seph remained silent, though she found herself watching him. Why? She had no idea. Noah was far from her type, or at least what she assumed her type was, but it wasn't like she was interested to begin with. Maybe he would make a decent friendly acquaintance — someone she could say ‘hi’ to on the street in passing.

“Did those hurt?” Seph motioned with her pencil to his arm, his tattoos being the topic of her curiosity.

Noah glanced to the limb, his shoulders shrugging nonchalantly. “Nah, not too bad. Nothing I wouldn't be able to handle again.”

She slowly nodded, the end of her pencil now tucked between her teeth. She continued to allow her gaze to travel along the designs before taking in a deep breath and lowering her attention back down to her dreaded calculus. Ugh, this was almost like she was torturing herself.

“Do you have any?”

“Hm?” Seph glanced up through her lashes at him.

“Tattoos. Do you have any?”

This inquiry caused her to snort out a laugh, now fully looking across at Noah in disbelief. He must not know anything about her family, and she was actually thankful for this. It was so annoying to have to talk to people who thought they already knew everything about you, when really, they knew nothing.

“No,” she finally replied, shaking her head. “My parents are very old school. They said that my body is a temple and if I desecrate it in any way then I'm not allowed my trust fund or inheritance.”

“Well…shit. That's brutal.”

Persephone shrugged, the notebook before her now being closed since she figured she wasn't going to be getting any more work done. Not that she was complaining. “Yeah, it's a little fucked. I mean, my mom won't even let me have more than two holes in my ears.”

“Sounds like some high standards to live up to.”

Noah's words caught her a little off guard. Her lips pursed as she carefully slipped her belongings into her bag, situating everything just right so they'd sit correctly. She didn't say anything in regards to the statement, mostly because she wasn't sure how to respond, but also because Nick had dropped the basket of fries in front of her. Persephone flashed him a wide grin, her fingers picking up one of the crispy fries to bite the end off.

“You're a peach, truly.”

FRIDAY JULY 4th

NOAH

This was not how he saw the night going. It had been change up after change up, until his plans had been ruined and he was forced to work another shift at Ruffilo’s. He didn't complain, though, at least not to anyone but himself. The last thing he wanted was to seem ungrateful for what Nick’s family had done for him, and what they continued to do everyday. He knew you'd never find another family as giving as Nick’s, so he did all he could to help them out, even if it meant canceling his plans. Nick offered to work with him, but Noah refused. It wasn't going to be busy since they didn't serve alcohol, so with it being Independence Day, the majority of Richmond would be out at the fireworks and then partying with a beer. Just as their forefathers would've wanted.

And just as he had predicted, it was dead by seven that night. Fireworks started around eight, waiting just long enough for the sky to get mostly dark. Noah could see the flashes of light from over the buildings, which he stood and stared at for much longer than anticipated. There was a pressure building within his chest, though. He could feel his hands becoming clammy and the rapid beating of his heart picking up more and more. He had to force himself to look away from the fireworks and start doing something else — anything to occupy his mind. Ever since the accident, bright lights and loud noises had been a trigger for him. He was working through it with his therapist weekly, but the progression was slow. Much slower than he would've liked.

Phone in hand, Noah stood in the kitchen of the restaurant, now mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. It helped calm his mind to see senseless things that people posted on their socials, and the things he was interested in, did well as a distraction. There was one distraction in particular he hadn't seen coming, though. Only a day or so previous, Persephone had insisted they follow each other. She had thousands of followers, while he only had a couple hundred, so he figured it was no big deal. Maybe she liked having a huge audience studying and judging her social life. But because of their mutual following, he was now graced with her presence on his Instagram timeline.

Noah swallowed as he came across the picture. She appeared happy, wearing a wide smile that took up most of her face, clad in the typical red, white, and blue colors for this particular holiday. In her hands, she held sparklers, both of which were situated up towards the sky with the pose she took in front of a pool. Others were seen behind her, one of which he recognized as Mason, the asshole from before. This was when Noah closed out of the app, his phone then being tucked away in his back pocket.

The next couple of hours went by rather slowly. He had maybe three patrons come in, but none that lingered for longer than necessary. Still, he took his time cleaning up and closing, even opting to tell the cook he could leave and he’d finish up. Nick had called him a couple of times, the voices of their friends obvious in the background, and he of course promised to drop by once he was off. Despite this, he didn't rush. After his near panic attack earlier, Noah just wanted to go home and lay in bed.

Unfortunately, he would have to wait a bit longer before being able to.

It was nearly eleven when he heard knocking on the front door of the restaurant. All the lights were off except those over the kitchen, so he had no idea why someone would think they were open. Did that stop him from poking his head out to see who it was? No. And this is why people die in horror movies. He was a walking cliché.

There was another knock, this one slightly louder than the last. Heavily sighing, Noah took a couple of slow steps towards the kitchen opening that led out into the main area, his upper body leaning over just enough for him to see straight forward. Standing outside was a rather familiar shape, the white dress being the first thing that caught his eye. He remembered it from his Instagram scroll hours prior.

Seph?

Noah rushed towards the front and wasted no time in unlocking the door for her, which he then held open. In walked the young blonde, her arms hugging herself. She no longer wore the smile from the picture earlier, but instead her cheeks were stained with glittery tears due to the festive makeup she had applied.

“Shit, Noah, I'm sorry. I- I didn't know where else to go or who I could talk to and I just- I saw your car and-”

Shaking his head, he placed his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to soothe and calm her ramblings. She tried a deep breath, but the hiccups from her tears prevented her from fully doing so.

“Hey, no, it's okay. What's wrong? What happened?”

The fact that Persephone had come to him was shocking, to say the least. Were they friends? He wasn't sure if he would label them as such, but maybe it was different for her. They did have long conversations every time she came to the diner, which just so happened to be picking up in frequency ever since the ice incident.

“Mason and I…we got into a fight…” she sniffed, further fighting back her tears just so she could properly breathe.

What was it about this asshole type that girls seemed to flock to? He would never understand it.

“He, um…he was just really mean, yeah? He blew up at me…caused this huge scene in front of everyone. It was so fucking embarrassing.”

Noah could tell she was holding something back, but he wasn't going to pry. If Seph didn't want to tell him the full story, then she didn't have to. Either way, he would be there for her as much as she would allow.

Nodding, his thumbs rubbed slowly along the bare skin of her shoulders that he still grasped. He eventually led her to a booth and brought her a glass of water, giving her as much time as she needed to gather herself. Although he wanted to know what actually happened, he knew this wasn't the time for it.

“Are you okay?” Noah finally asked after a few minutes. Her tears had ceased, but he noticed how she was still absentmindedly scratching at the side of her thigh. He knew an anxiety tick when he saw one. After all, he had plenty of his own.

Without answering, Seph finally looked at him. “Would you be able to take me home? Please?”

CHAPTER TWO JUMP

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