#put on an audiobook for him!

[mattodore]

pay attention to theo’s beautiful face and not whatever matthias’s arm is doing... i liked the lighting more here than against the wall

[yaburnae]

murtagh showing up on the burning plains in eldest hits EVERY time the reveal goes so hard!!!!

[kebriones]

I know nothing about Alcibiades, so as an Alcibiades enthusiast how would you describe his personality 🤔

hmmmm

Okay so he's manipulative (in the charming/always knows the right thing to say way), very vindictive and petty, has an inflated sense of self-importance, he doesn't appear to be needlessly cruel or bloodthristy or distructive except for when he feels slighted, he's super, suuuuper ambitious, he's crazy adaptive.

He likes luxury, spending money and doing grand, impressive or excessive things. I'd say he has a lot of complex little things about him in plato's work, like, he's conflicted about what he should do with himself, or he seems to understand the value of virtue and justice and being good. But he admits that he has trouble controlling himself, or letting go of his ambitions and dealing with his shortcomings. For example, he understands that it's not a good thing that he lets himself get swayed by the need to please the crowds and thus forgets to tend to his soul. So, he also seems to crave love/attention. And when he does good stuff, it's hard to know if he's doing it out of caring for others or primarily for himself.

[tiny-huts]

Anyway when I die all the official artists that have drawn Artemis can lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time

[dandyshucks]

I've been so focused on the robot/human romance in this audiobook I've been listening to that I.... forgot about the whole plot where they have to rescue the grandfather... 😭

[mycological-mariner]

Looking at the drawing I did yesterday of an oc and just. Why’s he lookin like his soul has been sucked out? I can’t draw him without making him look like he’s been scraped off the bottom of a boat.

[gracejones]

My reading goal this year was to read two books per quarter (or eight total) I just finished Tina’s biography which puts me back on track!

This is my next read, super quick. And that will put me at 7/8!

Once I finish the audiobook for Interview With the Vampire (which I admit I’m not enjoying as much as I thought I would. The TV Show and the movie are def my preferred mediums for that story - sorry Ms. Rice) I will have reached my goal!

It’s nice to have reached it before the year is out, I’m glad my depression hasn’t totally ruined reading for me again

[bog-horse]

book!aragorn is so weird and i love him

[gottagobackintime]

Why did no one tell me that they’re releasing a book that’s filled with Alan Rickman’s diary entries?! Also the fact that Emma Thompson wrote the foreword is making me go 🥺😭

[mostlysignssomeportents]

I assure you, an AI didn’t write a terrible “George Carlin” routine

There are only TWO MORE DAYS left in the Kickstarter for the audiobook of The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.

On Hallowe'en 1974, Ronald Clark O'Bryan murdered his son with poisoned candy. He needed the insurance money, and he knew that Halloween poisonings were rampant, so he figured he'd get away with it. He was wrong:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronald_Clark_O%27Bryan

The stories of Hallowe'en poisonings were just that – stories. No one was poisoning kids on Hallowe'en – except this monstrous murderer, who mistook rampant scare stories for truth and assumed (incorrectly) that his murder would blend in with the crowd.

Last week, the dudes behind the "comedy" podcast Dudesy released a "George Carlin" comedy special that they claimed had been created, holus bolus, by an AI trained on the comedian's routines. This was a lie. After the Carlin estate sued, the dudes admitted that they had written the (remarkably unfunny) "comedy" special:

https://arstechnica.com/ai/2024/01/george-carlins-heirs-sue-comedy-podcast-over-ai-generated-impression/

As I've written, we're nowhere near the point where an AI can do your job, but we're well past the point where your boss can be suckered into firing you and replacing you with a bot that fails at doing your job:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/15/passive-income-brainworms/#four-hour-work-week

AI systems can do some remarkable party tricks, but there's a huge difference between producing a plausible sentence and a good one. After the initial rush of astonishment, the stench of botshit becomes unmistakable:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/jan/03/botshit-generative-ai-imminent-threat-democracy

Some of this botshit comes from people who are sold a bill of goods: they're convinced that they can make a George Carlin special without any human intervention and when the bot fails, they manufacture their own botshit, assuming they must be bad at prompting the AI.

This is an old technology story: I had a friend who was contracted to livestream a Canadian awards show in the earliest days of the web. They booked in multiple ISDN lines from Bell Canada and set up an impressive Mbone encoding station on the wings of the stage. Only one problem: the ISDNs flaked (this was a common problem with ISDNs!). There was no way to livecast the show.

Nevertheless, my friend's boss's ordered him to go on pretending to livestream the show. They made a big deal of it, with all kinds of cool visualizers showing the progress of this futuristic marvel, which the cameras frequently lingered on, accompanied by overheated narration from the show's hosts.

The weirdest part? The next day, my friend – and many others – heard from satisfied viewers who boasted about how amazing it had been to watch this show on their computers, rather than their TVs. Remember: there had been no stream. These people had just assumed that the problem was on their end – that they had failed to correctly install and configure the multiple browser plugins required. Not wanting to admit their technical incompetence, they instead boasted about how great the show had been. It was the Emperor's New Livestream.

Perhaps that's what happened to the Dudesy bros. But there's another possibility: maybe they were captured by their own imaginations. In "Genesis," an essay in the 2007 collection The Creationists, EL Doctorow (no relation) describes how the ancient Babylonians were so poleaxed by the strange wonder of the story they made up about the origin of the universe that they assumed that it must be true. They themselves weren't nearly imaginative enough to have come up with this super-cool tale, so God must have put it in their minds:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/29/gedankenexperimentwahn/#high-on-your-own-supply

That seems to have been what happened to the Air Force colonel who falsely claimed that a "rogue AI-powered drone" had spontaneously evolved the strategy of killing its operator as a way of clearing the obstacle to its main objective, which was killing the enemy:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/06/04/ayyyyyy-eyeeeee/

This never happened. It was – in the chagrined colonel's words – a "thought experiment." In other words, this guy – who is the USAF's Chief of AI Test and Operations – was so excited about his own made up story that he forgot it wasn't true and told a whole conference-room full of people that it had actually happened.

Maybe that's what happened with the George Carlinbot 3000: the Dudesy dudes fell in love with their own vision for a fully automated luxury Carlinbot and forgot that they had made it up, so they just cheated, assuming they would eventually be able to make a fully operational Battle Carlinbot.

That's basically the Theranos story: a teenaged "entrepreneur" was convinced that she was just about to produce a seemingly impossible, revolutionary diagnostic machine, so she faked its results, abetted by investors, customers and others who wanted to believe:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theranos

The thing about stories of AI miracles is that they are peddled by both AI's boosters and its critics. For boosters, the value of these tall tales is obvious: if normies can be convinced that AI is capable of performing miracles, they'll invest in it. They'll even integrate it into their product offerings and then quietly hire legions of humans to pick up the botshit it leaves behind. These abettors can be relied upon to keep the defects in these products a secret, because they'll assume that they've committed an operator error. After all, everyone knows that AI can do anything, so if it's not performing for them, the problem must exist between the keyboard and the chair.

But this would only take AI so far. It's one thing to hear implausible stories of AI's triumph from the people invested in it – but what about when AI's critics repeat those stories? If your boss thinks an AI can do your job, and AI critics are all running around with their hair on fire, shouting about the coming AI jobpocalypse, then maybe the AI really can do your job?

https://locusmag.com/2020/07/cory-doctorow-full-employment/

There's a name for this kind of criticism: "criti-hype," coined by Lee Vinsel, who points to many reasons for its persistence, including the fact that it constitutes an "academic business-model":

https://sts-news.medium.com/youre-doing-it-wrong-notes-on-criticism-and-technology-hype-18b08b4307e5

That's four reasons for AI hype:

to win investors and customers;

to cover customers' and users' embarrassment when the AI doesn't perform;

AI dreamers so high on their own supply that they can't tell truth from fantasy;

A business-model for doomsayers who form an unholy alliance with AI companies by parroting their silliest hype in warning form.

But there's a fifth motivation for criti-hype: to simplify otherwise tedious and complex situations. As Jamie Zawinski writes, this is the motivation behind the obvious lie that the "autonomous cars" on the streets of San Francisco have no driver:

https://www.jwz.org/blog/2024/01/driverless-cars-always-have-a-driver/

GM's Cruise division was forced to shutter its SF operations after one of its "self-driving" cars dragged an injured pedestrian for 20 feet:

https://www.wired.com/story/cruise-robotaxi-self-driving-permit-revoked-california/

One of the widely discussed revelations in the wake of the incident was that Cruise employed 1.5 skilled technical remote overseers for every one of its "self-driving" cars. In other words, they had replaced a single low-waged cab driver with 1.5 higher-paid remote operators.

As Zawinski writes, SFPD is well aware that there's a human being (or more than one human being) responsible for every one of these cars – someone who is formally at fault when the cars injure people or damage property. Nevertheless, SFPD and SFMTA maintain that these cars can't be cited for moving violations because "no one is driving them."

But figuring out who which person is responsible for a moving violation is "complicated and annoying to deal with," so the fiction persists.

(Zawinski notes that even when these people are held responsible, they're a "moral crumple zone" for the company that decided to enroll whole cities in nonconsensual murderbot experiments.)

Automation hype has always involved hidden humans. The most famous of these was the "mechanical Turk" hoax: a supposed chess-playing robot that was just a puppet operated by a concealed human operator wedged awkwardly into its carapace.

This pattern repeats itself through the ages. Thomas Jefferson "replaced his slaves" with dumbwaiters – but of course, dumbwaiters don't replace slaves, they hide slaves:

https://www.stuartmcmillen.com/blog/behind-the-dumbwaiter/

The modern Mechanical Turk – a division of Amazon that employs low-waged "clickworkers," many of them overseas – modernizes the dumbwaiter by hiding low-waged workforces behind a veneer of automation. The MTurk is an abstract "cloud" of human intelligence (the tasks MTurks perform are called "HITs," which stands for "Human Intelligence Tasks").

This is such a truism that techies in India joke that "AI" stands for "absent Indians." Or, to use Jathan Sadowski's wonderful term: "Potemkin AI":

https://reallifemag.com/potemkin-ai/

This Potemkin AI is everywhere you look. When Tesla unveiled its humanoid robot Optimus, they made a big flashy show of it, promising a $20,000 automaton was just on the horizon. They failed to mention that Optimus was just a person in a robot suit:

https://www.siliconrepublic.com/machines/elon-musk-tesla-robot-optimus-ai

Likewise with the famous demo of a "full self-driving" Tesla, which turned out to be a canned fake:

https://www.reuters.com/technology/tesla-video-promoting-self-driving-was-staged-engineer-testifies-2023-01-17/

The most shocking and terrifying and enraging AI demos keep turning out to be "Just A Guy" (in Molly White's excellent parlance):

https://twitter.com/molly0xFFF/status/1751670561606971895

And yet, we keep falling for it. It's no wonder, really: criti-hype rewards so many different people in so many different ways that it truly offers something for everyone.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/29/pay-no-attention/#to-the-little-man-behind-the-curtain

Back the Kickstarter for the audiobook of The Bezzle here!

Image:

Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

--

Ross Breadmore (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/rossbreadmore/5169298162/

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

[thorougly-melted-brains]

Soap has had too many head injuries. Funny, how that works. The more you get, the worse they are, and the less you remember how many you’ve really gotten.

He fucked up on a milk run mission in the stupidest way he could. Missed his cue, didn’t put on his helmet, slammed his head in a metal door. He had to limp to exfil through nausea so strong he was surprised he didn’t give up his meager breakfast.

He gets put on leave by default, some flag on his record telling the doctors, “one more and his brains’ll drip out his ears.” They find him a reasonably nice flat nearby, send him off plied with painkillers and orders not to look at anything to long. A trained soldier, a demolitions engineer, with orders not to use his eyes or brain too much for a month.

They let him cook, thank god, and clean some. Something about conserving motor, he’s just glad for something to do. Normally on time off he’d go to a park, or maybe a museum, maybe even sketch. Not an option. He can’t even read, and the audiobooks he can find are shit.

Ghost shows up at his door a week into his penance with a few bags in hand. Soap had just been jolted away from a dozing nap (how he’d spent most of the past week.) He’s sleep rumpled and hasn’t talked to anyone for longer than he has in years. So sue him if his first response is, “Fuck you doing here, Lt.” Ghost stares at him like he’s trying to read his thoughts, then gestures to his bags, “Brought food.” He holds one up, for good measure. Soap stares back at him, “Price sent you?” It wasn’t a question. “Welfare check, and it’s not just for him.” With that Ghost shoves past him.

The food is decadent, at least after a week of just Soap’s own cooking. He isn’t bad by any means, but he only knows so many recipes. Once Soap is plied with food, they talk—or rather, Soap does. Tells Ghost every little annoyance and boredom he’s had to deal with. Ghost listens patiently, eyes glinting some when Soap mentions audiobooks.

A few days later Ghost sends him recordings, voice recordings, reading the books he’d been talking about. The quality’s kinda shitty, phone mic and compression leaving a staticky edge to them, but to Soap they’re balm to the itch of boredom that’s been building.

Ghost doesn’t just read though, he lets little comments slip in. Jabs at characters he dislikes, chuckles, mumbled words when something surprises him. Soaps favorite are the little fumbles Ghost curses his way through before trying again.

They drive Soap insane, make him crave a man he’s only seen glimpses of through the veil of Ghost.

(It’s takes him an embarrassing amount of time to remember how Ghost learned he liked his voice. Something about too much cheap booze and Gaz’s encouragement [and his shit eating grin that's much easier to spot in sober retrospect])

[gentlyweeps-world]

late night reading

summary: Lance wants you to read to him

pairing: lance stroll x fem!reader

warnings: none

genre: fluff 🫶

notes: wow!! summer actually writing for someone else instead of logan and lando 🤯

LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO

You were a book girlie, Lance knew that, and he definitely didn’t shy away from adding to your collection, if anything he encouraged it.

One night- the one night you two are actually home together- you’re reading one of your favorite books Lance got you, and he asks you something- something you wouldn’t have expected.

“Hey babe? Could you read to me?” Lance asks out, looking at you as you read in the dim light of your bedroom.

“Sure baby..” You respond with a smile, starting to read aloud the page you were reading.

Your voice had grown soothing to Lance- to the point he had fallen asleep.

You kept reading as the time passed, often looking over at Lance with a smile, admiring him as he slept.

After you finish the chapter, you feel like getting up and getting yourself a glass of water.

Before you do, you hear his voice.

“Could you keep reading? It’s soothing.”

“Lance baby…you should sleep” You say softly, turning to face him as you run your fingers through his dark hair.

“I will. But your voice soothes me Y/n..”

He smiles slightly, his eyes still shut.

“I’ll listen to you read for hours on end. In fact..”

He begins chuckling softly.

“You should make audiobooks someday.”

“I’m not sure if that’s a very promising career..” You say with a chuckle.

“I’d buy them though. I’d buy every single one.”

He opens his eyes halfway, the dim lighting casting a faint glow on his features.

“Now.. can you read some more?”

Your heart warms up at the sight of him, a smile tugs its way onto your face. “Sure baby…”

The two of you are like that for hours.

Him falling asleep, you reading, then starting over again…

You eventually realize it’s 2 in the morning.

He still looks peaceful.

You gently place your book down, putting it away.

Moving in bed into a more comfortable position you place a light kiss to Lances head.

“I love you..”

Lance lets out a content sigh, his lips curling into a smile after you kiss his head.

He wraps his arm around you, pulling you towards him in the process.

“I love you too…”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

radio 🪩: Small little Lance fic 💚

send in requests 🫶

[oh2e]

Not to have high standards or anything but I think if you’re reading an audiobook you should say the author’s name right

[girlkisser13]

dating jason grace would include

• ugh, the chivalry radiating off this man is CRAZYY.

• jason is the epitome of a gentleman fr!! he’ll do little things like holding open doors for you (even if it means waiting a few extra moments), offering his sweater when you're cold without hesitation, or fixing up a plate for you during dinner, he's always trying to make life a little easier for you. <33

• if you so much as utter a complaint about your feet aching or your shoes being too uncomfortable, he's already kneeling down, his broad back facing you with his hands gesturing for you to climb on for a piggy-back ride. he’ll be running around camp like a lunatic, carrying you on his back or in his arms, but he doesn't care because he always puts your comfort and safety first!!

• his protective nature extends to the battlefield as well. even though he knows you're more than capable of defending yourself, he fights alongside you, ready to shield you from ANY harm.

• whenever you talk to jason, he always has a way of letting you know that he's listening to your every word. even if he's occupied with something else, he'll make a point to let you know that he is paying attention to you. he'll immediately direct his gaze towards you, and abandon whatever task he was previously engaged in, leaning in closer to you the longer you speak.

• even if you try to cut your story short or apologize for repeating yourself, jason will NEVER rush you or make you feel uncomfortable. instead, he'll hold you close with his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, encouraging you to keep talking and sharing your thoughts. because jason doesn't mind hearing the same stories over and over again, as long as they're coming from you. <33

• you know that one tiktok trend where one person tries to switch foods/drinks with their partner? yeah if you ask him he will not hesitate to switch with you. he also shares his food with you with no complaints.

• but he also knows you well enough to get you something to eat even if you say you don’t want anything or that say that you’re not hungry.

• jason never fails to express his love for you verbally every day, but he also has a way of communicating it without speaking a word. he'll naturally reaches for your hand under the table, stealing quick kisses on your shoulder when no one is watching. even the way he touches you lingers, like he doesn't want to let go.

• jason lovess resting his forehead against yours. it just brings him a sense of comfort and solace, really just your presence itself makes him feel safe. <33

• he most definitely places kisses on your hand. i'm talking regency era jane austen style kisses to your fingertips or palm, looking away with a visible blush.

• i feel like he radiates a mixture of golden retriever boyfriend and orange cat boyfriend.

• he is pretty romantic and enjoys meticulously planning dates for you both, such as movie dates, picnics, hiking, and more.

• one of his love languages is acts of service. whether it's helping you with chores, surprising you with breakfast in bed, or offering a shoulder to lean on when you’re having a bad day, he's always there to support them in any way he can.

• he’s 100% a morning person (due to his militaristic upbringing at camp jupiter). if you’re also a morning person, the two of you enjoy going on morning jogs together. if you’re not a morning person, he’ll spend hours admiring you when you’re sleeping (not in a creepy or weird way lmao).

• he’s a big reader but sticks with audiobooks (due to his dyslexia) and will read every single book that you read so that he can talk with you about them.

[incorrectbatfam]

how would bruce be at the retail jobs?

Previous: Margie | Batfam | Rogues | Justice League | Batkids in training

[clothing store]

Steph: Bruce, you're on menswear. 

Bruce: Yes ma'am. 

Bruce: Need help with anything?

Dick, pulling a shirt off the rack: How does this look? 

Bruce: It's very flattering, chum.

Dick: You think? 'Cause I'm really looking forward to this weekend at Wally's and I wanna impress his folks. 

Bruce: Never mind, it's all wrong. 

———————

[furniture store]

Steph: I'm gonna take inventory. Why don't you help that guy over there?

Bruce: Sure. 

Bruce: You've been looking at that recliner for a long time.

Jason: Yeah, it's pretty nice. 

Bruce: You thinking of buying it?

Jason: Nah, I'll just take my dad's. 

———————

[coffee shop]

Steph: Remember to write their names, especially since it's the morning rush. We don't wanna get the orders mixed up. 

Bruce: Don't worry, I have it all taken care of. 

Tim: One espresso, please. 

Bruce, writing on a cup: You got it. That'll be $3.25.

*5 minutes later*

Bruce: Espresso for Dick– I mean, Jason– I mean, Damian– I mean– oh, you know who you are, get over here. 

———————

[call center] 

Steph: I'm taking a break. Cover for me. 

*phone rings*

Bruce: Wayne Enterprises account support, how can I help you?

Damian: I would like to purchase the Horror and Slasher movie bundle. 

Bruce: Sorry, you have to be at least 18 for that. 

Damian: This is an outrage! Do you know who I am? I am the son of the CEO himself. I demand you put him on the line right now. 

Bruce: As you wish.

Bruce: *spins around in his chair*

Bruce: CEO of Wayne Enterprises here. I'm afraid we can't get that for you. To make up for your troubles, though, I've given you a free trial of our Goodnight Gotham children's bedtime audiobooks. 

———————

[grocery store]

Bruce: That'll be $50.36.

Duke: Shoot, I only brought forty. 

Bruce: Wait, I can give you the friends and family discount. 

Bruce: *swipes his credit card*

Duke: Sweet, thanks!

Bruce: Steph?

Steph: Yeah?

Bruce: Did I just buy my son fifty dollars worth of applesauce? 

———————

[drive-thru]

Cass: Just a water. 

Bruce: Alright, please go to the next window. 

Bruce: *hands her an ice cream cone*

Bruce: You sound like you need this. 

Cass: *smiles*

Steph: How did you—

Bruce: *pulls out his Girl Dad badge*

———————

[restaurant] 

Steph: Here's a menu and your server will be with you shortly. 

Barbara: Thank you. 

Bruce: Good evening. I'll be your server tonight. Have we decided on what we're going with?

Barbara: Yeah, I'll have the chicken. 

Bruce: And would you like a soup or salad with that?

Barbara: Depends. Do you spin the salad in front of me? 

Bruce: Yes. 

Barbara: Then I'll do the soup.

———————

[at home]

Bruce: *face down on his bed*

Steph: Lemme guess, long week? 

Bruce: *grunts* 

Steph: Me too. Hope you don't mind if I take a nap here. 

Steph: *curls up in the blanket*

Bruce: *grunts and pats her head*