#shadow work diary

[charredstarling]

Just some shadow work

Why do you hold grudges: Because if i let go, i have to reckon with what happened. if they arnt really as terrible as i thought then theres a chance that it wasnt their fault that i was hurt. it also calls into question the abusers that i do not forgive, what if they arnt that bad either? and that train of thought had led me right back into the arms of those who hurt me on multiple occasions. Its safer to hate a select few than to doubt the validity of my trauma.

Why do you feel undeserving of love: because for most of my life i wasnt shown love unconditionally, i was only shown praise when i did my very best. otherwise i was yelled at or hurt because i wasnt doing good enough. even when i wasnt doing anything wrong i was punished, and i carry that with me today. i do not let myself feel loved unless i believe that i am doing the very best that i could be doing, and i rarely ever feel like i am doing good enough. i motivate myself by yelling and screaming and hurting myself because its what pushed me when i was younger, but now it doesnt do anything good for me. when i am shown love i feel confused and doubtful, because unconditional love feels fake to me.

How often do you lie to yourself: Every day from the second i wake up to the second i fall asleep. I say i am ok and that i feel fine and that i can handle all of this on my own and its a blatant lie and everyone around me knows it. i cant admit consistently that i am not capable of handling all of this on my own, and i also cannot ask for help because i feel unworthy of it. it is my job to handle all of this so that others dont have to. but that isnt fair to me, and i lie and say that its ok and that life isnt fair. i lie when i say i love myself and i lie when i say that im doing good because thats all surface level, i havent even started breaking down my old thought patterns yet. and i shouldnt have to alone because rebuilding oneself is a monumental feat. but in my mind i am a burden and i must do this alone, so that maybe someday someone will be able to tolerate me in full.

What emotions do you avoid feeling: anger. i never learned to process it properly and so no matter how justified it is i end up scaring myself out of feeling it. i worry that feeling angry means i will hurt people, because i was hurt when others were angry. thats when i was abused, when they were angry. and i fear that just the action of feeling that anger will unleash some hidden abusive monster inside of me and ill go around attacking everyone i see.

How can you face that feeling: sitting with it when i feel it. just letting it run through my system without trying to distract myself. letting my mind construct whatever arguments or insults it wants and ranting to friends until ive felt all i can feel for that moment.

How can you motivate yourself: by being gentle. i need to stop trying to use fear as a motivator and start using my passion as a motivator. and to do that i need to step away from fear, i need to be gentle with myself and forgiving of my misteps.

What has love taught you: that i am beautiful and kind and smart and amazing. and that i am compassionate and enjoyable and funny. love has taught me that i am not some horrible broken thing, that i am a person just like anyone else. love has taught me that i am deserving, and that people are kind and that they do care.

What has loss taught you: That life is something to cherish, and that no amount of time will feel like enough. and that sometimes its better to let go or to leave. and that some people arnt meant to stay, some people werent all that great in retrospect. loss has taught me to be scared of it, because to be abandoned is to lose. but loss has also taught me to greive, and to cry, and to scream. loss has taught me how to process things, how to feel. in some loss there is a relief, a comfort. in some there is an anger. loss has guided me

What are you hiding from others: that im actually just a scared animal thats wandering around hoping that i figure something out. that i am not actually all that wise, i am just hurt. that i am not all that in touch with myself and that its all a front to try and avoid the truth. the truth is that i am a wounded scared animal wandering around in a hostile world with no clue what i should be doing. i cannot tend to my wounds lest someone else notices they are there, and i cannot ask for help lest someone sees me as a pet or a project.

What can you learn from time: That i cannot stop it, i cannot make it slow, but i can rest. i can rest as long as i need. i cannot expect the world to stop spinning but i can expect others who live in this sea of time to be understanding. we are all here together in the same storm.

[laidee-flegman]

30 journaling prompts for finding your true self

What does "authentic self" mean to you?

List three moments when you felt truly yourself. What were you doing?

Who are the most important people in your life, and why?

Describe a time when you felt misunderstood. How did you handle it?

What are your core values, and how do they guide your decisions?

What’s a hobby or interest that you’ve always wanted to explore?

Write about a time when you overcame a significant challenge.

How do you show love and appreciation to yourself?

What are three things you’re grateful for today?

Describe your ideal day. What would you do and who would you spend it with?

What’s a belief or habit you’d like to change, and why?

How do you deal with stress and what could you do differently?

What does success look like for you?

Write a letter to your younger self. What advice would you give?

Who inspires you, and what qualities do you admire in them?

What’s a dream or goal you’ve been hesitant to pursue? Why?

Reflect on a recent failure. What did you learn from it?

How do you define happiness, and are you living in a way that supports it?

What are your biggest fears, and how do they hold you back?

Describe a moment when you felt a deep sense of peace.

How do you nurture your creativity?

What’s one thing you can do today to move closer to your goals?

What limiting beliefs do you hold about yourself, and how can you challenge them?

Describe a time when you felt incredibly proud of yourself.

What does self-care look like for you?

How do you balance your needs with the needs of others?

What’s one habit you’d like to develop, and why?

How do you handle change and uncertainty in your life?

Write about a time you stepped out of your comfort zone. What was the outcome?

What does living an authentic life mean to you, and how can you strive towards it every day?

[pinkpigtailsprincess]

Glow Up Diaries: Starting Over! ༘ ೀ⋆｡🪷

HI PRETTIES!! 🎀 Its me again this is just a quick little update so recently i’ve been very overwhelmed with things and the whole glow up plan got tanked and ive been dealing with so many things & at a point it got intense but now I’m definitely doing alot better i’ve decied instead of giving up i will simply start over again uhm im starting to meditate more and finding good ways to cope with my anxiety issues so thats really great!! but yes my glow plans have not changed but im definitely gonna restart and try 2 be as engaged with making daily/weekly update as much as possible i will be back on a regular posting schedule by tomorrow or the next day bc i have so many fun ideas thank you all 4 reading this muahh!! i love you all - xoxo, Ai’ya! 🎀🪷

[lyraofthestarsss]

I just realized the MCD themed mini game videos are the aphverse equivalent of the Mario franchise characters stopping whatever enemies thing they have going on to play golf or go kart with each other

[noble-guards]

thinkin about truly monstrous shadow knights

thinkin about people returning from shallow graves with fatal wounds that never quite heal, but never bleed either.

people who’s shadows show their true form, twisted and rotted as it is, who’s eyes glow red when the sun goes down, who smell like sulfur and brimstone when you stop paying attention.

who move faster, oftentimes jerkier, more unnaturally then any people surrounding them. who don’t burn in fire, who seem to heal and glow when near a dead or dying creature, who hunger for flesh, for blood, for hatred, for the thrill of a fight.

who grow claws on their fingers even in a more human form, who teeth are pointed, made for tearing flesh, who’s entire being is sharper, made for harm.

just, shadow knights who are blatantly inhuman, even without their shadow knight form.

[that-one-girls-blog-posts]

how do I get over the fear of actually using those pretty notebooks I keep buying

[shiftingbrooks]

Shifting Shadow Work

Hey! Welcome to a series I will be calling Shifting Shadow Work or for future reference, SSW. Now be warned that much of this post is made to be uncomfortable, really uncomfortable. That is the point of Shadow Work in its entirety, is to face things that are meant to feel uncomfortable. This post might also be demotivating depending on how you answer the questions. So on with that, let’s get started!

What is Shadow Work?

This is for those that don’t know what Shadow Work is. If you do know, maybe read it through and you’ll find something.

So, to make everything short and simple, Shadow Work is Introspection, Journalling, Meditation, and self inquiry to face trauma. However, if you want a full explanation, you may look below.

When we talk of Shadow Work, it has nothing to do necessarily with spirituality, rather it has everything to do with yourself. You see, we all have a Shadow and an Ego.

An Ego is how we see ourselves consciously, an Ego is naturally neutral, so it can be both positive and negative thoughts. It’s just what we see ourselves as.

The Shadow on the other hand is the part of your personality, memories, and thoughts you don’t want to acknowledge. We are never consciously aware of that Shadow but it exists, and it always has within us.

We don’t want to acknowledged the Shadow because the Shadow is naturally scary. They deal with things that naturally you want to hide, whether that be trauma, experiences, guilt, etc. Despite the fact that we never acknowledge this Shadow, it affects our personality, the way we think, act, etc.

You have a Shadow. Regardless of who you are, you have a Shadow. When we are children, we learn what makes our parents love us, hiding certain behaviors that might cut off love. As we grow, this also extends to other relationships, such as romantic or platonic ones. As we grow, we mold ourselves like the people around us. We fear abandonment, so we mold ourselves to others.

The Shadow is just a representation of our trauma, the traits it has brought about, and everything else around that (Regardless if you know you have trauma or not). So Shadow Work is just bringing your shadow to light. Shadow work is just a technique used to heal from trauma, plain and simple.

Shadow work takes a long time. It’s something you chip at slowly, reflecting on the things that you do that you unconsciously do. It might take months before you get an “Ah-ha!” Moment about yourself. You write about one thing for a couple months and then you look back and make realizations. Try not to ruminate on a subject, rather focus on it.

Ruminating is a negative spiral while focusing on a subject is a lot more about thinking about it. Usually this might get you bored when you focus on it, but that’s fine. When your mind is bored it naturally will start unpacking things for you.

There are many methods that you can do this from naturally, however we are specifically focusing on journaling. However, if you want to visualize you talking to your Shadow you may.

What does it have to do with Shifting?

Literally everything.

Okay, that is broad as hell. However, let’s get more specific. Whenever I see people talk about shifting, they say, “You don’t need anything else but you!” Or some variation of that statement.

This is a correct statement. I am not arguing with that statement, in fact that statement is exactly why I am making this post (and hopefully more posts) in the first place. Shadow Work is all about you! Focusing on the things you need to heal, focus on, and just you! Shadow Work can help identify where you are struggling, what you are hiding, and learning more about you.

I also decided to make this post because I haven’t seen anybody really suggest it or use it as a way to help with shifting. So, if no one will, I have to.

What can I do to get started?

Think about how you react to certain things. These are your triggers, what or who makes you react in that sort of way. Observe what makes you in that fight or flight response. Be conscious of it.

Question your emotions. Why do you feel that way? What belief is attached to that emotion? Does this remind you of something?

Write about it! Just general raw stream of consciousness about it. How you feel, just generally digging around for how you tick.

Now with the prompts I am about to give you, take your time. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Really consider everything when it comes to these prompts, your childhood, how you reacted to some things, etc.

Prompts specific to Shifting:

Why am I shifting? Am I ashamed of that?

When I don’t get physical results from my shifting attempts or get demotivating thoughts, do I blame myself (“I can’t shift”) or do I blame shifting (“Shifting isn’t real”)? Why is that?

Why do I react the way I do to anti-shifters?

Do I daydream about my DR a lot? Why?

Do I feel guilt for scripting something? Why?

Do I consider my DRself to be myself or am I detached from my DRself? Why?

Why do I view my DR the way I do?

Do I believe I need something to Shift (visualization, method, script, subliminal, etc)? Why?

Good Luck!

[teentoospoiled]

débutante diaries

weekly journal entries reflecting on my teen years, advising teenage viewers for their adulthood debut

My ignorance sabotaged me.

As smart as I was as a teenager, I didn’t know any better making a lot of past choices. I either followed the misguidance of my mother or had to figure things out myself because no guidance was available.

How could I know any better when my parents, grandparents and other adult authority figures were equally immature?

Immature and ignorant about money, womanhood and specifically dating.

My ignorance has led me to experience many harsh lessons. Lessons that made sure I smartened myself up.

Not even harsh lessons. In fact, many of my “shoulda, coulda, would’ve,” moments come from reflecting on misuse of my time.

Instead of listening to music on my hour plus journey to work, I wish I was listening to podcasts about financial literacy and investing (like Bitcoin! Damn I should’ve!)

Instead of giving grown ass men access inside my teen body, I wish I could have educated myself on abstinence and how to practice hypergamy with boys my age. In addition to preparing myself for dating up as an adult.

I won’t waste time wishing anymore. Instead, I am choosing to teach myself game I deserved to know as a teen. Game about these boys (men now). Game about life and how evil, Shiesty people keep the world balanced.

I have entered a new, interesting part of my womanhood. One which has me reflecting on where I’ve been in life and where I’m going.

Where I’m going is determined by the steps I choose to take. That’s why I’m making more wiser moves, starting with journaling about my teenhood instead of trying my hardest to forget those memories, some memories being my darkest moments.

2024 is already starting off an interesting year. So, let me sign off by stating an intention for success:

I have evolved into a woman who inspires strangers on sight. My aura, attitude and accomplishments attracts additional abundance. I am proud of the person I am and the progress I’ve made.

BuyMeACoffee, but I prefer wine ;)

[travis-enthusiast]

HEAR ME OUT GENE AND LUCINDA AS BEST FRIENDS......

[thefroggiesden]

Journal Prompts for Every Day of the Week Based on Their Magical Associations

As a witch, I like to use different days of the week to time my magic and other spiritual activities. Journaling is one of the most spiritual things I do, so I figured I would come up with journal prompts based on each day’s magical associations! These are just the most common associations in modern witchcraft and paganism in the western world, but if your practice is different, don’t be afraid to switch things around or change them however you want.

Sunday

The day of the sun. Sunday is associated with creativity, strength, power, growth, and music.

What is a creative project you’re working on right now? Is it going well, or not so well? How is it making you feel? Do you want to continue on the same path with it, or change course?

Monday

The day of the moon. Monday is associated with dreams, insight, and other spiritual things.

Have you had any strange or repeating dreams lately? What are some themes or images that common in them?

Tuesday

The day of mars. Tuesday is associated with success, conflict/war, overcoming problems, and energy.

What is a problem or conflict you’re having right now? Try to look at it from an outside perspective. What advice would you give to a friend that was in the same situation?

Wednesday

The day of mercury, Wednesday is associated with travel, communication, and business/commerce.

What is a place you’ve always wanted to go to? Why is that place important to you?

Thursday

The day of Jupiter. Thursday is associated with wealth, luck, abundance, and leadership,

What do you have an abundance of? Try to list something physical, emotional, and spiritual. How do you feel about having these things?

Friday

The day of Venus. Friday is associated with love, sex, fertility, beauty, and relationships.

What makes you feel beautiful? What’s something small you can do everyday to make yourself feel confident and pretty/handsome?

Saturday

The day of Saturn. Saturday is associated with death, endings, protection, and the law.

Write about a death or ending that’s occurred in your life? How did it impact you? How did it change other areas of your life?

[jeremiahthefroge]

Unironically, IS there anywhere to get a good beat-by-beat plot synopsis of the original Minecraft Diaries without watching it all the way through? I want to get a good idea of all the plot beats and characters and the general timeline to see about writing some fanfic, because the characters are living rent free in my brain, but I'm also like... VERY aware that it's a 2016 minecraft roleplay series... and I fear that I will ruin my own mental image of the series if I try to rewatch it all...

[laurancezvahlslefteyebrow]

real quick! i just wanna make a post about how scar runes and rune tattoos work in my mcd au/rewrite

ok so, as i said before, rune scars and tattoos work very differently: this is kind of a lot of reading but i promise it’s worth it just gimme a chance please 😭 🙏🏻

Scar Runes are meant to amplify one’s own magicks and magical abilities. They cannot be stacked, meaning all Scar Runes on a person’s body must be for the same ability and they must be the same rune in order to work properly. The more Scar Runes a person has, the more powerful that ability. They never fade but they can be corrupted or “killed” altogether if each rune is scratched out. They can be placed on any part of the body but the magic is most potent when the scars are located on the face. Scar Runes are illegal in most places, and outlawed in all of Ru’Aun as they can be used for very dangerous things… like shadow knights…

Rune Tatoos are different.. Rune Tattoos are used to bestow a magical ability or new magicks to a person, often referred to as a “rune gift”. Scar Runes can be used to amplify the gifts given by a tattoo. Because they are able to give a person an entirely new ability and magicks, they are often given at a very young age so that said person is able to learn to use their new abilities as they grow. Unlike Scar Runes, Rune Tattoos can be stacked. A person can have up to 3 (5 if they are extremely strong both physically and mentally) different Rune Tattoos at once, each for a different ability. Rune Tattoos can also be placed on any part of the body, but are most potent when placed on the limbs, notably the hands and feet. These tattoos never fade but can be scratched out similarly to the scars, though this is significantly more difficult and known to cause excruciating pain. Rune Tattoos are an illegal practice in most parts of the world and in almost all parts of Ru’Aun. However, they were not illegal in the village of Zerimar (something i will make a separate post on later..)

Now onto the cultural aspects:

Scar Runes were given to Lady Irene in order to enhance her already existing abilities. Many people of her time tried to mimic this. Some became dangerously powerful and others simply did it improperly and bled out. Scar Runes must be given by someone well versed in said practice, usually a witch, shaman, or warlock.

The people of Zerimar used Rune Tattoos as a part of their culture. At birth, they would be given a name that pertains to the ability their parents would like them to possess, they would then be given their Rune Tattoo by either a witch, shaman, or warlock in their naming ceremony.

Now, when a shadow knight is created, they are given a Rune Tattoo on each of their palms. This tattoo grants them their shadow knight abilities. After doing so, they are given their Scar Runes to enhance these abilities (unfortunately it does not enhance any already existing magicks a person may have). The scars, often called “The Tears” or “Shadow Tears” are given to them by something called “The Claw”, a magical staff with an end similar to Katelyn’s gauntlets.

Because the Divine Warriors were each given theirs abilities, unlike Irene, they all had Rune Tattoos as opposed to Irene’s scars.

i just spent half an hour typing all this please give me validation

[laidee-flegman]

June's Journaling Prompts

What’s your ideal summer getaway? Describe it in detail.

Write a love letter to June, personifying the month.

What's the best summer memory from your childhood? Spill the beans!

If you could only eat one summer food for the rest of the month, what would it be and why?

Create a list of your summer bucket list items.

How do you feel about the halfway mark of the year? Reflect on your achievements and challenges.

Describe your perfect summer day from sunrise to sunset.

What's your favourite ice cream flavour? Create a story around it.

Imagine you're a sunflower. Write a day in your life.

Plan a dream summer party. Who’s invited and what’s on the agenda?

What does the word 'freedom' mean to you, especially in summer?

Write a short story set at the beach.

List five things you want to improve about yourself this summer.

What's the best book to read in June? Write a mini-review of it.

How does nature change in June? Describe it with all five senses.

If June were a person, what would their personality be like?

Write about a summer tradition you have or want to start.

What's your favourite summer song and why? Write about the memories it brings back.

If you could spend a day with any celebrity in June, who would it be and what would you do?

Describe your dream summer wardrobe.

How do you stay motivated when it's blazing hot outside?

What's the best summer movie you’ve ever watched? Why did it leave an impact?

Imagine you find a message in a bottle at the beach. What's the message?

Write a poem about a summer night.

How do you plan to take care of your mental health this summer?

If you had a summer-themed tattoo, what would it be?

Describe a perfect picnic. Who are you with, and what’s in the basket?

Write about your favourite summer scent.

If you could time travel to any June in history, which would it be and why?

Reflect on the best advice you've received this year and how you can apply it in June.

[mmscut]

❄️🩵

Sevilmekten korkan bir kadın olarak ben, sevilmekten korktuğumu 27 yaşımda öğrendim. Bu yıl bir çok iniş çıkış yaşadığım 365 günü dolu bir era geçirdim. Bu dönemde kendim hakkında edindiğim en derin gölge yaram, baba travmamım hayatımın gidişatına sapladığı balta yaralardı.

Meğer ben sevilmekten korkuyormuşum çünkü hiç terk edilmemek ne demek deneyimlememiştim. Bir erkeğin beni seçmesi ve üzerime titremesi nedir bilmek, deneyimlemek nedir bilemiyormuşum. Beni korkutuyormuş çok sevilmek.

Elbette bu sadece eril birinin sevgisini alma korkumu beslemiyormuş, ben insanlar tarafından görülmeyi ve sevilmeyi hazmediyormuşum. Şöyle diye düşünen bir tarafa sahipmişim bunca yıl.

"Babamın bile beni sevip seçmediği bir dünyada ne haddime insanlar tarafından sevilmek."

Şimdi bitti. Bunları yazabiliyorum çünkü korkmuyorum. Sevilmeye değer bulduğum en özel şey benim artık. Kulağa bencilce gelebilir ama bunca yıl kendime yaptığım zorbalığı telafi etmek için her şeyi göze alabilirim.

Kendi kendimin kul hakkına girmeyeceğim.

Seni seviyorum, MMS.

[grimoire-y-em-babble-y-bare]

A heart on a sleeve is hard on us, leave.

[changes-2043]

I AM CHANGES

hello everyone,  This is a diary-like kind of blog where I'm going to post everything about myself, go deep into my healing process, and post a lot of vents.  some small things about me: I'm 22, non-binary, and from Naples, Italy. and my hobbies are writing, drawing, reading, and singing. 

Today is June 23, 2024, and everything is going to change.  

By the end of this year, I want to leave behind some of what I think are self-harming behaviors and bad habits. I'm going to go deep into these arguments with a lot of written shadow work that I'm going to post here. I will include the trigger warning if needed.