#we had a busy start to our week and not a lot of spoons | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

transboyswitchytales · 1 month ago

Text

And Everybody Loves You

Agatha All Along Week!

First day is Jealousy Prompt!

@agathaallalongweek

Agatha x Reader x Rio

Agatha is chronically jealous! How do her girlfriends handle it?

Mention of Smut but no Smut (sowy) / Cute fluff / BELTANE (Celebration) / Billy being their son moments / Polyamory / Missing Nicky / Hickies / Jealousy of course / Cuteness / Depression mentioned / Rio should sing to Reader all the time / Snacks / Witchy fun / Coven Found Family Moments / Lilia is the absolute best and I'll fight you if you disagree / Are these even warnings anymore ?

MDNI

Happy AAA Week guys!!!

My Masterlist

Jealous.

Polyamory was something you’d experienced before. You’d dated in threes a few times in fact, centuries ago.

Agatha Harkness, a centuries-old witch, had not. And it showed.

And more importantly, Agatha had never learned how to share. I don’t just mean in a relationship. I mean that if you put your witch girlfriend in a sandbox, she’d probably bite a kid, again.

So when Rio and you, on a Saturday morning, when a sleepy Agatha was grumpy and didn’t want to get up, you went to a local bakery early.

You came back to an even grumpier agitated Agatha. Rio set her keys down in the bowl and started in on Ags.

“Oh my god, you are ridiculous. We brought you a dirty chai with pumpkin, even though you swear you hate pumpkin spice. ANNNnnnd we got you a chocolate donut detective!” Rio waved the white bag and the drink at Agatha. Who didn’t budge, but she reached for the cup.

Rio pulled it back and shook her head. Agatha’s smirk emerged, and she leaned in and kissed Rio in gratitude, and only then did Rio give your grumpy girlfriend her breakfast.

These moments happened a lot, which was silly because you all worked hard to communicate, ok, you worked hard for everyone to communicate.

But you all wanted to have equality and no one left out. You had rules and things you didn’t do without each other.

One of those things was not watching your TV shows without the other person. You’d learned this the hard way.

You and Rio had been watching Twilight Zone reruns, you were drawing and Rio was being your big spoon.

Agatha came in from the basement where she’d been working on magic. She eyed the screen before you or your girlfriend could welcome her back into the land of the living. From being in the basement for hours. But Agatha turned hurt cold in her whole being.

“You're watching TV without me?”

“They’re from 1959, Ags, these episodes are all reruns.” Rio teased, which wasn’t the right thing in that moment because Agatha’s lips pursed, and she glared at Death.

“I was a little busy in the 50s! I missed them. You are watching TV without me! That’s against the rules!” Agatha would never like to be considered a person who whined, but that was exactly what was happening.

“What? No way! This isn’t one of ‘our shows.’” Rio threw back, and that started the argument for an hour.

You realized in that moment it wasn’t a matter of what show it was, it was being left out.

Agatha was chronically jealous.

The TV was no longer something you and Rio did without Agatha. Which was hilarious because Agatha didn’t even want the TV in your home. And now she owned it, like a kid who licks a cupcake to own it. No one else could touch it.

You could name a million times these tense times came into view.

Agatha was a control freak, and Rio and you just kinda understood that it wasn’t actually about Twilight Zone or baked goods. Agatha hadn’t been wanted by her own mother.

And she forgot sometimes that you and Rio wanted her more than anything.

So you and Rio would wordlessly communicate through the space and make little changes to keep Agatha’s safety.

You were hunched over in the backyard picking vegetables from the garden you and Rio tended to. The sound of the sprinklers in the neighbor's yard and crickets starting up before the sun even set.

That’s when you felt the depression bug creep in. You pushed it down.

You pushed it down as you three made a large dinner. Working hard to fake it until your mind would catch up to the new idea. You got a few long glances from Agatha and Rio but you worked hard.

Two days had passed and Rio had to work, so you and Agatha were going on a walk.

You were doing ok, not great, but ok.

And then you saw a kid who looked like Nicky. Your heart dropped.

You calmly asked Aggie if you two could go home. Your girlfriend wasn’t stupid. But she laced your fingers together and walked you home.

You took off your outside clothes and dove into the bed. And you stayed there for the rest of the day, and the night, and the next morning, and that afternoon.

Agatha brought food and endless mugs of tea. She held you, and kissed your head. She tried to get you out of bed. But you were glued, you didn’t want to worry, Agatha.

But you just couldn’t try anymore.

You didn’t have the fight.

The black dog had won, and you were letting it feast on your bone marrow.

Around 3pm, you heard the door open again, Agatha hadn’t really left your side except to maek you tea. But she’d gone downstairs an hour ago and not returned.

And when the sound came from teh floorboard you hated yourself for her worry. And you tried to pretend you were sleeping, knowing it would never work. But the bed dipped, and you flinched. You didn’t want to keep feeling this way and you didn’t want the unending shame for the look on Agatha’s face.

But you felt another set of hands. One you’d known for a long time too.

“My love, my sweet carino, it’s one of those days, huh?” Rio says, and you flip over and grab her shoulders. Rio lies down with you. And you cry from deep inside, and Rio doesn’t shy away, doesn’t tell you that Nicky is gone. Doesn’t remind you how long it’s been since he died. She just holds your body, like it’s sacred.

When you finally stop sobbing, you pull back to look at her eyes.

“You got here fast. Did Agatha tell you to come home?”

“I was in Mississippi, a guy got eaten by a tractor, blood everywhere. He kinda looked like a tube of toothpaste splattering.” Rio tells you, and you laugh at her dark humor. You put your face into her neck, and she rocked you.

Rio whispered a song to you, one she’d sing to you when she dropped her work to come home. You’d played it one day, and Rio had told you it’s how she felt when she knew you or Agatha needed her.

She’d drop her work and get to you two as fast as she could. So when she sang it, your heart broke in two.

‘Cutting through the country, on my way to you

Runnin' out of Reds, comin' up with truths

I'm cutting through a cornfield, talkin' to myself

Hookin' up with strangers, askin' them for help

You reveled in Rio’s voice and her tender touch, and your body relaxed for the first time. Since you’d been on your walk.

Waitin' for forever, waitin' for your call

I know it sounds crazy, we could have it all

If you needed someone, if you needed proof

I'm cutting through the country, I'm on my way to you

You bit your lip, and Rio kept singing to you. Knowing that you needed to hear it, needed to hear her. Need her.

I'm cutting through the country, listenin' for you

Someone I could trust, wishin' it was us

Yeah, nothin' lasts forever and everybody dies

I don't wanna leave, unless it's here with you tonight

And I'm pullin' from a bottle, flippin' on my phone

Lookin' for a life, lookin' for a home

Cutting through the country, call me when you're up

Nothin' lasts forever, but I'm not in a rush

Every day's a movie and I've already seen

I'm cutting through the country, I might fall asleep

Wake up in a cartoon, fallin' through the earth

Give me somethin' real, babe, and nobody gets hurt’

She stopped when you turned to look at her once more.

“Agatha really called you, huh?”

It felt strange because Agatha was so good at soothing your frustration. But Nicky was a hard thing for any of you to talk about. You wondered what drove her to ask Rio for help. Because she couldn’t mourn with you? No, Agatha had mourned with you plenty.

“Ags may be chronically jealous. But she loves you more than anything, Sweets. She’d give up her powers forever if it meant you didn’t feel another moment of pain. She knew you needed me, too. She can’t always communicate the right thing, hell I fucking can’t either. But you are so important to us. So I’ll always drop everything, and Agatha will break her pride and call me.”

Rio told you, and your bottom lip wobbled, and Rio’s face softened even further as she hugged you back to her chest.

You got out of bed that night and ate dinner at the table with your girlfriends. You sat on Agatha’s lap as Rio picked a scary movie. Agatha’s hands held you tightly, and you knew she wanted to say a million things. But her hands worked against your skin and you didn’t need her to speak a word.

It was quickly Beltane, time the only thing that was constantly passing.

And you were loving going to this huge witches' gathering. You knew the coven was too, but Billy had never been to a Beltane celebration.

So you pulled him into little witches' booths and bought him cobbler and new rings. Explaining the fruit in it was important for Beltane and the whys. Lilia was running a tarot booth, and you’d brought her iced tea and poppy lemon cake. She’d kissed you and given you a big hug. Wishing you a happy, fruitful Beltane.

Rio and Agatha held hands and walked behind you as you gushed over the history of Beltane to Billy. Who was just as bubbly, he’d bloomed this year into a more confident witch. Agatha told you it was because of you, but you didn’t take the compliment at all.

But Billy had sort of adopted you three as his parents now.

And you tried not to cry every time he asked to stay the night, or called you when he was upset. He’d ask you questions about how to have a healthy relationship, he loved Eddie. You talked for him for hours.

But he also adored Agatha for all her faults and sharp edges. Sometimes he’d come over and sit with Agatha and they talked into the wee hours of the morning. She taught him more magic, and he was respectful and eager to please her. Agatha always tried to hide her pride but you saw it.

You also saw how Rio warmed to your favorite teen.

It started small, she’d noticed he loved tomatoes. She had some in the garden, no big deal. But when you walked into the yard one day and noticed five new tomato varieties being planted, you knew Rio loved him.

Slowly, Billy stopped being afraid of Rio too. Instead, he learned from Eddie how to make his Nonna’s family traditional tomato sauce. And he jarred it and brought it back to Rio. Who had never received a gift from a child before. She’d been worshiped by deities and you and Agatha had bought her thoughtful things over the years that she cherished and kept.

But a child had never looked at her without fear, except one. And now here was Billy, looking at her with big eyes and dark curls. And she swore to protect him in that moment.

And he kept bringing her things. A comic book with a lesbian in it, a button that had a skull on it, a bunch of taco’s from a taco truck he followed online. And in turn, Rio started to talk to him more and more. It was a gorgeous thing to see.

You grabbed Billy’s hand in the sunshine and guided him into the next book. Jen wasn’t working it, but it was her company. You eyed the candles, and you and Billy sniffed each one and decided which one was the best.

You looked over your shoulder to see Rio calmly talking to Agatha. Who was anxious, you eyed them, but knew that Rio could handle whatever had upset your girlfriend.

The sun dipped down quickly, and you’d all eaten so much good food. The maypoles were being put away, and the bonfire was being built. Children were blowing bubbles and they floated like fairies in the sky.

“So do we have to be naked?” Billy whispered to you, and you laughed at him and his blush. You were sitting on a log together as Rio and Agatha found some fun alcoholic floral drink that was being served in celebration. Nothing like drunk witches before a bonfire. Witches were throwing logs on the fire, and you two watche,d waiting for the rest of your coven to come join you.

Jen and Alice were probably fucking in their car. But Lilia had gone in search of a ‘gift’, and you weren’t sure who it was for.

“No, honey, we don’t have to be naked. We’re just here to celebrate. Witches aren’t here to judge each other, they’re here to give tribute to new beginnings. Beltane is to ask for new things, but to celebrate the coming of spring and a fruitful land. We are here to give back.” You explain to him, and Billy drops his head against your shoulder. He’d become way cuddlier in the last few months. And your heart ached for him. Wanda would be so proud.

“Who are you going to give tidings to?” He asked, and it reminded you so much of Nicky and his first Beltane. You let yourself feel the overwhelming love for both of your boys.

“Well, I always start with my sweet girl, Death. But Flora naturally and I never forget, no matter what time of year, to give a gift to Hecate. What about you?” You ask him, and his eyebrows scrunch, and he thinks hard before responding.

“Belenus,” Billy said, the Celtic god, and you loved that he had such knowledge now.

“That’s a great choice.” You tell him, and you hear Agatha and Rio before you see them. Rio plops down next to Billy, and Agatha sits next to you. Her hand goes to your thigh, and it’s a claiming touch.

Rio reached across the teenager to hand you a pretty purple drink. You took it, thanking her and taking a sip. It was good very sweet and strong, and you made an appreciative noise. Agatha kept on hand on you as she sipped her own a little faster than you were.

“Can I have one?” Billy eyed how Rio was double fisting two drinks.

“Absolutely, when you are twenty-one, I’ll take you out and buy you shots. Until then, you can drink water or the kids made lemonade.” Rio answered like the Dad, and you felt warmth at the domesticity of it all. You and Agatha didn’t even step in, Rio ha,d and it was adorable.

“Not even a sip?” Billy tried again.

“Pet, if you keep this up you won’t get the strawberry funnel cake,” Agatha warned him, and she sounded so much like a mom. And Billy didn’t fight it anymore, but you saw him experiencing the love in her words. Someone to watch out for him, to tell him no. It was a beautiful thing.

Alice yelled across the way to Billy she had two strawberry soft-serve ice creams in waffle cones. Billy hopped up out of the seat and ran over to her. She handed him one and then affectionately brushed his hair out of his eyes. He needed a haircut from Jen soon.

You all loved him.

Agatha’s nails dug into your thigh a little, and Rio scooted to close the distance between you two. Both girlfriends sandwiching you in the middle. Much like they did every night in bed.

“Aggie, what’s wrong, baby?” You asked and took a sip of the strong drink.

Agatha’s face fell into your neck, and she stayed there, inhaling you. Agatha wasn’t worried about people seeing you two cuddle. You were life long partners.

“Someone’s a little touch starved for you, you’ve been paying a lot of attention to the coven today. And I think our witch is feeling a little needy.” Rio whispered so other witches walking by wouldn’t hear. A few stopped to look at you three, obviously aware of your reputation. No one knew who Rio was, which was always annoying and hilarious.

But you and Aggie, were witch killers. And after all this time you still got dirty looks and snide remarks. But Agatha hadn’t told you no on coming to this event. Knowing you loved to celebrate the old holidays.

But her hands ached for your body.

Setting your drink down between your barefeet. You ran a hand through Agatha’s dark locks and kept her in your neck.

“Do you wanna follow Jen and Alice example and go fuck in the car?” You asked, and Agatha snorted in your neck. Rio’s eyebrows raised in intrigue, and she hoped Aggie was about to say yes.

Nicky had been conceived on Ostara, you’d not carved runes. You’d said no spell and no incantation. He’d been born from love. Having your nose and optimistic attitude, Rio’s dimple and mischievous nature, and Agatha’s brilliance and her ability to love deeply.

Nicky was perfect. The best of all three of you.

You were a little nervous to fuck on a holiday, especially one for fertility. But if Agatha needed you, you’d never deny her. Agatha’s nose brushed against the sensitive spot on your neck, and you shivered.

“You don’t want to leave Billy for too long,” Agatha answered, and you knew that wasn’t what she wanted to say. There was a whole coven here for him.

“If my witch needs my fingers, you only need to accept my invitation.” You tell her, and Agatha takes a minute before nodding. You three stand, grabbing your drinks, you excuse yourself.

It takes about two hours, not what you’d planned but your body is thoroughly fucked. Agatha steps out of the car first and she uses a pencil to put her hair up. Big love bites clearly scattered over her neck and chest. You weren’t much better; you had more bites, and they were already dark purple.

Rio wiped her mouth on the back of her hand to get all the evidence off. She reached into the back of the car, grabbing four sweaters and handing you and Agatha each other’s clothes. You wore Aggies deep purple sweater, and she wore your dark maroon cable knit. Rio pulled it over her baggy dark fern colored sweater on. It had frayed over the years and bits of yarn stuck out. She looked gorgeous. They both did.

You all walked back into the cool night air. It had gotten dark while you were….busy in the car.

When you came back to the outdoor venue, you saw Alice and Lilia holding Billy as Jen worked with the kid's corner to make sure that baby witches were grounded during all this energy play.

Rio put a hand on Billy and he turned and grinned at her in greeting. She thoughtfully handed him one of her baggy sweaters, it was a dark blue and it had a few white sigils for warming in it. You loved that sweater so much, there was something so parental about Rio keeping the teenager safe and warm.

Walking up to your fortune witch and grabbing Lilia’s shoulders, she turned to you and kissed your cheek affectionately.

“Wondered when you three would finish.” She teased and then bent down and took out a flower crown from her bag of goodies. She placed it onto your head, and you had to bend down because she was so short. But she curled your hair behind your ear and then beamed at you. Lifting your chin up so she could look at you.

“You are one beautiful witch, doll.” Lilia complimented you and you felt it warm your body.

“Lilia-”

“Hush, you look fantastic. The giant bruises on your neck look like you’ve been fighting a vampire. But besides that, you are…gorgeous inside and out.” Lilia grabbed both your forearms and leaned in like she was telling you a secret passed down for centuries.

“Thank you.” You whispered back and turned to see Agatha and Rio beaming at you.

The flowers in your crown were a mixture of Nicky's favorite wildflower to pick in the forest, Agatha’s secret ingredient in her perfume orchids, and Rio’s water hemlock, a poisonous plant that she planted in every home you’d ever lived. And your favorite big Alaskan daisies that’s stems weave through each flower.

Lilia was good.

Your girlfriends both came over and kissed each of your flushed cheeks.

You all sat as the celebration began, and people danced in all ways around the fire and chanted. It was gorgeous, and a glow illuminated off their bodies. Lilia and Alice were explaining what was happening to Billy.

You weren’t watching the witches now, your eyes were up at the full moon. You were watching as the magic of all these witches did what it did in Old Salem. They were ‘drawing down the moon.’ So it looked bigger and bigger, like La Luna wanted to dance with the witches herself.

Agatha was watching you and one of her hands brushed your hair to the side, and she held the back of your neck and you closed your eyes at the sensation of her fingers. She was leaning in to kiss you or whisper something and someone cut your moment short.

“Hey! You are fucking gorgeous wanna come dance naked with me?” This witch asked you, and she was very beautiful. Her red hair was wild, and little braids were in between her thick locks; they had baby’s breath in their strands and feathers. She was already naked, and the curtains did match the drapes. Her large rune tattoos framed her muscular arms.

“She’s fucking taken, go find a loose witch that’ll lift her dress for you silly hag.” Agatha snapped and snarled like an animal, and the poor witch froze for a minute in fear. Before making a great imitation of Thumper and running like a rabbit back into the night.

Before you could say anything, the coven erupted into laughter.

“She had no idea she’d just hit on Agatha Harkness, woman!” Alice cackled out as Billy grabbed his sides, and Lilia’s laughter made people turn and stare. Rio’s hand fell over her mouth as she found it hilarious as well.

“I don’t see the humor in this!” Agatha chastised her coven which was erupting at the seams. Perhaps it was all the energy in the air, the magic, you told yourself. But Agatha glared at them and you moved further into her embrace kissed her long and slow.

“I like you jealous. I’m yours, though. I didn’t wanna dance with her, I only want to dance with you and Rio.” You tell her, and Agatha softens like butter under your words and gentle touch on her body.

It’s dawn by the time it all ends, and you are sobered up enough to drive your girlfriends home. You offer to take Billy, but he’s asleep on Jen’s lap, and she shakes her head. Alice and Jen take him back to their house to sleep off all of that magic high. Lilia steals his phone and hands it to Alice, not able to really work technology well. She texts his mom to let him know the change of plans.

Rio guides your body in your mutual tired state.

“Coffee first?” She asks, wondering if you wanna make a stop.

“Home.” You say eyeing an exhausted Agatha who climbs into the back seat and lies across the leather. She doesn’t put her seatbelt on, which is terribl,e but you and Rio can’t find it in you to wake her and make her do it.

You drive home slowly and carefully. You get into the house and rest your flower crown on the kitchen table. The three of you move into the bedroom, shed your clothes, and climb in to cuddle.

You wake hours later, and it’s deep in the afternoon, and you yawn. Agatha kissed your forehead and you smiled.

“Wanna take a bath with me?”

“Yes, please,” it sounds like an amazing time. The smell of campfire and ash sliding off your body. Agatha did her amazing talent of making a bath smell sinful and look like a scene in Game of Thrones. You both slid in and Agatha was happy to press your back against her bare chest as she used a hand towel to scrub your arms. You closed your eyes, still sleepy after your nap.

Aggie talked to you softly in the space about her first Beltane with you. One where you’d stolen her heart and she teased you about never giving it back.

“It’s mine.” You told her and she kissed behind your ear.

“In this life and the next.” Agatha promised.

You were both feeling a contact high between your naked bodies pressed together and the intoxicating scents in the tub. The undtertone of sexual tension was dilicious. Turning slightly you angled yourself so that Agatha could kiss your lips in a slow dance.

You were both rudely interrupted as Rio walked in.

“HEY! I didn’t get invited to bath time!”

Yeah, Agatha was jealous. But you might have forgotten to mention so was Rio.

Rio was very jealous. A lot.

Death was huffing at you both irritated at not getting her bubble bath moment too.

“Rio the tub is not big enough for three! And you took a shower-” Agatha tried to reason with her toddler of a girlfriend who folded her arms and glared at you both.

“WE HAVE POWERS! MAKE A BIGGER TUB! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!” Rio started to shout and you just smiled.

Jealousy was woven into your life yes, but the love was behind every inch as well.

Agatha took the wet washcloth and threw it at Rio’s face who started to take off her clothes and Agatha shouted at her. She had one foot in the tub and Agatha was trying to push her out. Soap and tub water splashed over the side and all over the bathroom floor.

“IT’S TOO SMALL OF A TUB!”

“MOVE OVER!”

“YOU ARE ALL SWEATY!”

“YEAH WELL I’M GONNA GET CLEAN AREN’T I!”

#fanfiction #fanfic #kathryn hahn #ao3 fanfic #agatha all along #kathryn hahn x reader #agatha harkness x reader #marvel fanfiction #agatha all along week #Jealousy prompt #audrey plaza #rio x agatha x reader #fluff #Spotify #@agathaallalongweek #aaaweek25

176 notes · View notes

writtenbymisunderstoodnerds · 1 year ago

Text

Secret softy (Ashley Sanchez x Reader)

Based on this request

Sorry this took a while to finish, writers block is a pain. Hopefully this is okay and is kinda what you wanted. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy :)

Warnings: None I think

Words: 2.4k

Three months had passed since I last saw Ashley. We had been together officially for almost four years, but we had been mostly long-distance since the start. With us both being professional athletes, her soccer and me hockey, it didn't leave as much time for visits during on season. We would spend off-season with the other when possible, Ashley had been pretty busy lately, unfortunately. It didn't matter now though, my season was officially over which meant more time with her.

I was trying to enjoy time with Ashley, but I was kind of freaking out. I was going to be going to more of Ashley's camps so we could spend more time together. The only problem was her team didn't seem to like me very much. I knew I could be a bit standoffish when I met new people, but I had tried to be more friendly when I met them. I wasn't actually sure if that's why they didn't like me, it was more an assumption based on past experiences. They were her team, some of her closest friends, honestly, I wanted them to like me. Three years had passed since our first meeting and I didn't know how to change it.

Ashley wrapped her arms around my shoulders, snapping me out of my thoughts, "You okay Y/n/n?"

"I'm fine."

"No, we don't do that. You can be stoic, grumpy, tough, or whatever around everyone else, but not me. If you don't want to talk to me about it, tell me, I won't push. Just don't pretend you're fine when I know you're not."

"I'm sorry. Cuddles?"

Ashley lay down on the couch, letting me lie on top of her, head resting against her neck. It was a lot easier to deal with feelings when wrapped up in the comfort she provided. After a few minutes, all my thoughts just tumble out.

Fingers ran through my hair, making me groan. Ashley always knew what I needed, when I needed it. It's one of the reasons I loved her so much. "My love, it's not that they don't like you. I know what you're going to say, but it's true. They just find you a little bit intimidating, they don't know how to act around you, they don't know how to read you."

"You couldn't have mentioned this like 3 years ago?"

"Don't take that tone with me Y/n. I didn't know how they felt until recently when I told them you'd be around more this season. All you have to do is try to be a bit more open, talk to them, interact with them. A smile every now and then wouldn't hurt either. I know it's not easy for you, but even trying will make a difference."

I sighed, nuzzling my face further into her, "I'm sorry Ash. Okay, I can do that. At least I think. I'm sorry for being grumpy with you. Let me cuddle for a minute then I'll make dinner and we can finish packing, maybe a bath?"

She kissed my forehead, fingers running through my hair, "You weren't grumpy at me, you just let the nerves get the better of you. Don't make a habit of it though. A bath sounds fantastic. I love you grumpy."

I peppered her face with kisses before dragging myself up, "I love you."

---

A smile instantly appeared as arms wrapped around my waist, accompanied by the familiar voice of my girlfriend. "Hi baby."

I turned around, wrapping my arms around her and lifting her up, her legs wrapping around me. My head rest against her chest, enjoying the feeling of her again. Honestly, it hadn't even been that long apart, I had to spend a few weeks at home before joining her. Ashley was my place, my home, my comfort. Anytime we were apart, even for a few days, felt like forever. "I missed you."

Some of Ashley's team were in the lobby hanging back waiting for her. I sent them a quick smile and wave before turning my attention back to Ashley. She pecked my lips, arm wrapping around my shoulder, letting me cuddle against her. Despite what most would think, 90% of the time I was the little spoon and I loved it. "I missed you too. Dinner tonight? We have training this afternoon so maybe 7?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, I'll find somewhere and sort it."

"Thank you. Also, team bonding tomorrow night if you're up for it. No pressure."

"I'll be there."

All I really wanted to do was spend alone time with Ashley. I decided on a picnic on the beach instead of a restaurant. So while Ashley was at training, I went to the store to pick up some of her favourite snacks, drinks, desserts, and of course flowers. At about 6:30, I ordered Ashley's favourite pizza then headed to the beach to set everything up, then texted her where to meet me. My original plan was to pick her up, but I also wanted everything to be set up before she got there.

Right at 7pm, Ashley came walking along the beach. Dressed in sweats and a hoodie, looking as beautiful as ever. "What's all this?"

"Well, I wanted alone time with you and this is more romantic than a restaurant I think. This is okay right?"

Ashley smiled, lips connecting with mine in a deep kiss, "Y/n/n, anything you do is amazing. I love this and I love you so much. Are those flowers?"

"I love you more. Of course, can't have a romantic dinner without flowers."

After dinner, we ended up lying on the beach watching the stars. Ashley cuddled into my side, leaving light kisses along my neck. "How did I get so lucky with you?"

"I'm the one who got lucky Ash. For some reason, you met my grumpy ass and decided yes that is who I want to be with. You are incredible my love, you fill my life with so much love and happiness. I wouldn't give you up for anything in this world. I love you."

"I love you Y/n/n. I will never get over this side of you. Your grumpy ass is stuck with me for life, just gotta make it official."

I laughed, tapping her nose. It was mostly a joke, Ashley knew that I would propose likely in the next couple of months. I just wanted it to be perfect and not that she knew, but I wanted both her team and her family there. "Soon my love."

----

It had been a few weeks since I started coming to camp with Ashley. Since she told me I was kind of intimidating, I was trying to be more friendly. It wasn't the easiest thing, I had always been more withdrawn and perceived as grumpy or tough. I wanted her team to like me so I was trying. They were important to her so I wanted to at least make an effort to get along with them.

Most of them still kept a bit of a distance from me. They were friendly and included me when I was around, but there was still some unsureness on their part. Emily on the other hand seemed to make it her mission to annoy me as much as possible. In a way, it was nice that she didn't seem to mind my so-called grumpiness. It was also incredibly annoying. Despite that, I had a soft spot for her.

Emily ran at me the moment Ashley untangled herself to go get a drink, managing to jump on me before I could stop her, "Emilyyy, get off."

My hair was messed up before Emily dropped back to the ground, tongue sticking out at me.

"Grump."

"Irritating."

"Yeah yeah whatever, you love it. Some of the girls and I are going shopping, you wanna come?"

"That is the last thing I want to do. Shopping is my nightmare and I already do enough of it with Ash." Emily looked slightly disappointed which made me feel guilty. I also realised this could be a good opportunity to develop my relationship with at least some of them. I couldn't bring myself to go shopping so I suggested the next thing I could think of. "I could meet you for lunch or coffee instead if you guys are doing that."

"It's a date. I'll text you when we're heading for lunch."

Ashley popped up next to me, making me jump slightly at her sudden presence, "You going on a date with someone else?"

Emily wrapped her arm around my shoulder which I instantly tried to push off, but she just wrapped it around tighter. I didn't have the energy for a fight so just let it go. "Yup, I'm stealing your girl."

"You and whoever else you're dragging shopping."

Of course, Ashley got excited at the idea of shopping and decided to go along with them. It wasn't a surprise, Ashley loved shopping and it made Emily go away so I was happy. Now I just had to get her to let me stay back. "Finally. Don't even ask, don't pout, it's not going to work. I'm not coming shopping, you have your girls, I'm going to the gym. Go have fun baby, I'll be there for lunch. I love you."

"Fine, I'll carry my own bags. Just this once. I love you and thank you for trying. By the way, I think Em really likes you."

"She alright I guess. Now go."

Throughout lunch, Ashley was on one side of me and Emily was on the other. Which meant Emily annoyed me while Ashley laughed at me. I admit it helped with the nerves, and stopped me from thinking too much about everything. Emily poked my cheek over and over until I slapped her hand away, poking her cheek instead. I unsuccessfully looked at Ashley for help, her being distracted in conversation.

I groaned, leaning back, trying to be as dramatic as possible, "Why are you hellbent on annoying me? You're like the annoying little sister I never wanted."

"Because I can and you're stuck with me as long as you're with Ash."

"Dammit, that means I'm stuck with you for life."

Emily stopped her annoyance, smiling at me instead, "You going to be with our Ashley for the rest of your life?"

"That's the plan."

A hand landed on my shoulder, running down my arm as lips pressed against my cheek, "I like that plan."

My hand ran along her thigh, kissing her cheek, "I do too."

"Alright, before things get even more gross. How did you two meet? I don't think we ever heard that story."

---

I crawled up the bed, settling myself on top of Ashley, letting out an appreciative groan as her fingers ran through my hair. This trying to be nicer thing was a lot of work. It had meant being more aware of my actions or how I held myself around them. I had never had to put that much thought into myself before. It was honestly exhausting.

"You know I would give up hockey in a heartbeat for you. I miss you so much."

"I know you would, I would do the same, but we both know we would be miserable not doing what we love. What's wrong? You get like this when somethings wrong."

"Ugh, I know. I'm just looking forward to the day when distance isn't part of our relationship. I'm just tired. Putting effort into being nicer and less intimidating is exhausting."

Ashley peppered my cheek with kisses, ending with a soft peck to my lips, "Well you're doing an amazing job Y/n/n. Half the team loves you already and the rest are on the way. You know I appreciate you right? How much you're trying to get along with them."

"You mean the world to me, Ash. Even if it's exhausting or hard, I would do anything for you. This team means a lot to you so it's important to me to get along with them. I'm just sorry it took longer than it should have."

"I'm just happy all the people I love get along."

We spent a while cuddling and making out. There weren't many words spoken, we were just enjoying time together after a couple of crazy days on her end. In our jobs that was the reality, where we barely saw each other all day, only to fall asleep minutes after getting to bed. It left me missing Ashley even though I spent every night cuddled up with her. I missed the awake cuddles, the soft kisses or not-so-soft kisses, the light touches, the comfortable silence, and the random conversations. I could have stayed there all night, but there was team bonding tonight so we had to drag ourselves down to Alyssa and Alex's room.

Everyone was waiting already, fighting over what team bonding was going to be. I made myself comfortable on the floor, leaning back against the wall while Ashley went to join in on the fight. I must have zoned out watching her because I didn't notice Kristie sitting next to me until a hand waved in front of my face.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. I get like that with Sam all the time. You make her incredibly happy, you know that right?"

"All I want is for her to be happy so I will do everything in my power to make sure she is. Seeing Ashley happy, makes me happy."

Kristie pat my shoulder, "That's what I like to hear. Keep her that way."

"Yes ma'am."

Ashley had run back to our room for a deck of cards so I was left alone with her team. Since lunch the other day, I had gotten closer to some of the younger girls, but the veteran players were still a work in progress. I hadn't actually been alone with them pretty much ever. Honestly, I felt kind of awkward, like I needed to clarify that I didn't hate them or apologise for being so standoffish, "Look um I know we got off on the wrong foot-"

Alex interrupted me pretty much instantly, "Hey don't worry about it, we've seen how you are with Ash. You may seem grumpy and mean, but really you're a big softy. You treat Ashley like royalty so we like you. You also put up with Emily so you can't be that bad."

"Yeah well, she does that to me. Look I may seem grumpy or uninterested, but I don't mean to. I really like you guys. Even Emily."

"Hey!"

"Also, before you even give me any sort of talk. Ash is my forever, I plan to marry her one day soon, to spend the rest of my life with her. I would never do anything to jeopardize that. I would hurt myself before I ever dreamt of hurting her."

"Good. Welcome to the family Y/n."

Ashley came back soon after the conversation had ended, settling herself in my lap to whisper in my ear, "You okay?"

"I'm more than good my love."

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #woso imagines #woso x reader #uswnt imagines #ashley sanchez #ashley sanchez x reader

223 notes · View notes

brain-rot-central · 19 days ago

Text

If you ever wanted to know how bad the illiteracy crisis in America is, I work with people who are native English speakers, grew up going to public schools in areas that aren't necessarily poor or underfunded and they use AI grammar checkers in order to check how they speak/type on a daily basis.

Now, granted, they could have dyslexia.

I'm definitely some degree of dyslexic, but by exposing yourself to reading and listening to various different audio recordings, you start to develop a sense of "hmm this doesn't sound/look right;" almost like a type of pattern recognition.

I knew from a young age that I had difficulties with reading/writing/speaking. I STILL speak backwards and will often jumble the order of words in a sentence, to the point where I have to stop and restart. It's much easier for me to sound coherent through writing than speaking, and even then I sometimes struggle to get my point across.

My parents didn't want to admit I had a problem, so I took it upon myself to read/write as much as I could. I hated when it was my turn to read a passage from a book out loud during class, but I did my best to go over the passage as long as I could before being picked to read it, that way the words were already familiar in my mouth. If that makes sense.

What my point is though is that we neeeeeed to start encouraging people to read again. If you can't spend time reading because of kids or school or a busy schedule, by God pop on an audiobook and just listen. Not saying that all media should be free, but it really should be a lot easier for people to access books and other works. I think that would really help improve literacy rates nationwide.

I'd love to one day see local libraries have delivery services. Like order a book from your library online and they deliver it with a package slip to send it back through the mail after 2-3 weeks; however long they let you keep a book. If you want an extension maybe they make you pay an extra $1-5, something like that, which would cover the cost of packaging in most cases.

To see people using AI grammar checkers on the daily because they either did not have any help with reading/writing when they were younger or grew up impoverished breaks my heart and should not be the standard going forward.

Popping a sentence into a grammar checker will help you in the short-term, but if you want to get to a point where you never have to rely on such a device in the future, you need to practice that skill. And the only way you're going to do that is by putting the effort in to do so.

Not only does it benefit you by way of being able to convey yourself better, but it also helps keep your brain active. There have been multiple studies done that show people who read/play crosswords puzzles have a lower chance of developing memory loss as they age.

There really is truth in the statement, "you use it or you lose it."

I think this is something important to focus on because in a time where book bans are happening across the nation and there's widespread demonization of higher education, we have to realize that our ability to develop critical thinking skills is directly linked to how often we exercise our brains.

By keeping us illiterate, it becomes easier for oppressive governments to spoon feed us bullshit while no one bats an eye. I like to refer to the days of Medieval England and Europe when only those who had money and status were taught how to read. The Church basically ran everything and would very often spin the truth in their favor knowing the masses were illiterate and uneducated.

That's not something I would like to see in the year 2025, and I don't think most people want to see it, either.

Education is not the problem. Knowledge is truly power, and one of the best ways you can obtain knowledge is by reading.

Even if you struggle and you can't read something beyond Dr. Seuss, start there. Read as much at that level as you can, and slowly work yourself up. Keep challenging yourself.

If you need to write words down so you can look them up later, do it. Write them out in a book or a text note document on your phone with the definition next to them.

Do not let them strip your ability to gather information from you. Do not let them make you believe that to have knowledge or the desire to seek out knowledge is a bad thing.

Reading comprehension is one thing that can save you. You can read between the lines of whatever bullshit is being spun and thrown at you. Do not let them take that from you.

#anti-ai #basically a rant regarding the anti-intellectualism movement going on right now too #reading is good #everyone should try it

22 notes · View notes

ruthwritesalot · 3 months ago

Text

What's My Age Again? Chapter 17

Overview

Previous chapter

Next chapter

I did a lot of rewrites over the weekend, which is why these new posts are all showing up

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Alex's POV

I finished your book, I texted Aaliyah. Are you free sometime next week so I can give it back?

My heart thumped as I watched her type up a reply. Why don’t you give it to Jamie when he comes to class tomorrow?

Disappointed, I replied, Sure, I can do that. I’d been hoping for an excuse to meet up in person, maybe talk things through, but I couldn’t blame her for deflecting.

Jamie was confused when I brought it up to him the next day. “Why don’t you just give it back yourself?” he asked as he stuffed the book into his bag frantically along with his change of clothes.

I winced at how carelessly he handled it. “Be careful!”

“Sorry,” he said, but didn’t adjust it to a safer position. Instead, he practically threw his bag on the floor as he went to put on his shoes. “Did something happen between you two?” he asked again.

“No, we’re just both kind of busy. It’s easier this way,” I said, glad he couldn’t see my expression. “What do you care, anyway? Just give it to her.”

“Okay, okay. I will,” he said in a tone that indicated he didn’t realize how important this was.

“You better not forget,” I called after him as he raced out the door.

---------------------

He forgot. I found out when I asked him how it had gone later that evening. He froze, the wooden spoon he was holding remaining stationary in the tomato sauce. “Oh, fuck.”

I wondered if I should tell him not to swear. Normal parents wouldn’t want to hear that kind of language from a fourteen-year-old kid, right? But I didn’t have the nerve. I just said, “You forgot, didn’t you?”

He resumed stirring in the half-hearted way he did most household chores. “Why would you make me give it to her, anyway?” he argued defensively. “You know I’m forgetful!”

I groaned and pressed the back of my head to the wall. “Now she’s gonna think I forgot about it.”

He gave me a sideways glance. “Why are you being so weird about this?”

I lowered my eyes from the ceiling to him, my head unmoving. “I’m not being weird.”

“Yes, you are,” he said. “Was your date bad or something?”

I didn’t say anything until he grabbed the salt and started shaking an ungodly amount in the sauce. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said, moving away from the wall and holding out a hand to stop him. “What are you doing?”

He looked at me, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Why are you putting enough salt in there to dry us both out?”

He awkwardly put the salt down. “I thought I was supposed to use spices,” he said in a whiny voice.

God help me. “Well, yeah, but salt is like, the one spice that should be used in moderation,” I told him. “But I’m sure it’s fine, don’t worry. Sorry I freaked out like that.” To illustrate my point, I grabbed a spoon and tried some of the sauce. It wasn’t exactly revolting, but it definitely wasn’t pleasant to taste, either. “See, it’s delicious,” I assured him. “Just don’t put any more.”

“Okay,” he said.

I grabbed all the dried herbs we had in the cabinet and tossed in as much as I could stomach, hoping they’d at least somewhat mask the salt. “Let’s just let this simmer now. I’ll get started on the pasta.”

As I filled the pot with water, he asked again. “So what happened with your date?”

“You’re really not letting this go, are you?” I said as I watched the water level rise slowly.

He shrugged. “I’m just curious.”

I considered whether to tell him, but this was what he’d wanted, wasn’t it? He deserved to know, and it was my fault for dragging him into things with the book. “We never went on our date,” I told him as I turned off the tap. “I broke things off.”

“Wait, really?” he said, seemingly a lot more shocked than I’d expected. “Why?”

What did he mean, why? Had he forgotten the past weeks, too? “I just realized me dating isn’t the best idea right now,” I told him, making sure to keep my voice level. “We both have too much going on. You were right that it’s not fair to you.”

“You really liked her, though,” he said.

Well, yeah. Was that guilt in his voice? What did he even want from me? “I did, but it’s just not the right time,” I said, hoping to console him. “That’s life, you know?”

I thought he was done with it, but he brought it up again when we’d moved to sitting at the table, our spaghetti plated in front of us. “Wait, so you broke up with her because of what I said?”

“Well, I want you to feel comfortable,” I told him. “I’m sorry it took me this long to realize how much it was bothering you.” Hopefully, he’d trust I meant it and we could move on from the whole thing.

He didn’t reply, just stared at his noodles for a while.

“What are you thinking?” I gently prodded him eventually.

He shook his head as if clearing his thoughts. “I don’t know. I just- I didn’t think you’d actually do it.”

Guilt clawed at my chest. What kind of brother was I, that he was so surprised I’d put him first? I took a chance and reached across the table to grab his hand. He let me take it. “Of course I would. You’re my highest priority, okay?”

He shook his head again. “No, I mean- you shouldn’t have done that.”

A cold shower ran down my back. How had I managed to mess up yet again? “What do you mean? I thought you wanted this.”

He opened and closed his fingers around my hand a few times, then said, “Could you like- is it too late for you to fix things with her?”

What? I felt sick. Why was he having this change of heart after I’d sabotaged my life for him? What did he mean, he didn’t think I’d actually do it? Did he even have anything against Aaliyah, or had he been lying to piss me off? And now he felt guilty or something? “It doesn’t work like that, okay?” I said.

“I think you should try,” he insisted.

I took my hand away. “What do you even want from me, Jamie? Like, even if I did somehow get her to take me back, how do I know you won’t change your mind again?”

“I won’t,” he promised, but I didn’t know if I could believe him. He wasn’t exactly known for having stable emotions.

“I don’t get you,” I said.

He didn’t reply.

--------------------

After a lot of thinking, I texted Aaliyah again. Despite everything, I wanted to talk to her, and I was more likely to get that chance if I was honest.

Alex: Do you want to come to the café tomorrow so we can talk?

I watched her begin typing, then stop, then start again.

Aaliyah: Sure

What had she deleted? An essay on how I could go fuck myself? Was that a happy sure or a resigned sure? I tried not to overthink things, but as I began my shift the next day, I couldn’t get her out of my head. Would our conversation be anything like before, or was this just a courtesy on her part?

I was loading the dishwasher when I heard the door ring. I turned to see her walk through the door, my anxiety only getting worse once I saw her. She had the usual carefree spring in her step as she came up to the counter.

“Hey!” she greeted me.

“Hey!” I said back, doing my best to match her tone but not come across as too enthusiastic. “Hot chocolate with oat milk, right?”

She smiled up at me, and I wanted to take a picture of it to look at when I was feeling down. “Should I be flattered you remembered my order, or do you remember everyone’s?”

“Not everyone’s,” I told her as I took her money. “Just the important ones.” That was smooth, right? I stared at the bill she’d given me, my mind blank as I struggled to figure out her change. Why did she have to be watching me? Okay, think, I told myself. One dollar and seventy-five cents. A dollar bill and two- no, three quarters. I looked up again to hand it to her, but our fingers fumbled.

“Oh, fuck, sorry,” I said as the coins rolled into the unknown.

She, at least, seemed just as flustered. It was an unusual look on her, but one that got my hopes up. It had to mean she still liked me on some level, right? “It’s fine,” she said, crouching down to pick up the ones that had fallen on her side. I did the same, setting them on the counter to avoid another embarrassing situation. “I’ll just sit here while you make it, okay?” She sat down at the counter, which held our only chair.

I couldn’t make latte art with a hot chocolate, but I still took extra care in making her drink, conscious of the intense way she was watching me. Didn’t she have a phone or some other form of entertainment she could get out?

“Careful, it’s hot,” I warned when I set it down in front of her.

She touched the sides of the cup for a few seconds before jerking her hand away. She set it on the table instead. “So, what did you want to talk about?” she asked. She wasn’t a fan of beating around the bush.

I leaned against the counter as she looked at me expectantly, trying to remember the words I’d practiced. “I guess I wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings,” I said. “I understand if you’re completely over it, but I genuinely do like spending time with you.”

“As friends? Because I said the date could just be us hanging out,” she reminded me.

I leaned back awkwardly. “It’s probably a deal breaker if I say I don’t know, right?”

She gave me a small smile, indicating she was humoring me. “Billie would definitely say so.”

That wasn’t a no. “And what would you say?”

“I…,” she traced a line across the counter with her finger, “have never been much of a fan of labels anyway.”

“Okay,” I said, hoping she’d take that as an invitation to continue. At least enough for me to kind of get what she was saying.

She looked up at me again. “I guess I’m just wondering, what changed? Because two weeks ago, you were very against us doing anything that could be interpreted as a date in the slightest. This change of heart can’t just be because Billie yelled at you.”

I laughed a little. “I don’t know, Billie can be pretty convincing.”

“I know she can,” Aaliyah agreed. “But seriously, tell me.”

Lying now would just be shitty. “Jamie might have come around,” I admitted. “At least, kind of.”

She tilted her head. “I thought it might have something to do with that. Kind of?”

I bit my lip. “I don’t know. He told me I should try and fix things, but I don’t really get him.”

“I mean, he is fourteen,” she pointed out.

“Yeah.”

She touched the sides of her cup again before taking a sip. “I’m just thinking… I don’t mind being casual. But I don’t know if I like that your willingness is dependent on a third party, you know? And I know that’s not your fault, I’d probably be acting the same way if I was in your position, but I don’t know if I can take that risk.”

All the hope I’d gotten at the sight of her smile plummeted. “I get that,” I said, my voice thick. I watched the way her fingers gripped the cup, neither of us saying anything for a while. “What if I told you it wasn’t just Jamie?” I tried. “That a lot of it was me being an idiot?”

She laughed a little. “And you being an idiot would make things better how?”

“Well, I can’t control Jamie,” I said. “But I can learn to not be an idiot.”

She took another long sip. “Logically, I’m telling myself all this flip flopping is a bad sign. And that makes two bad signs.”

I frowned. “What’s the other bad sign?”

She took an abnormally long sip of her hot chocolate before saying, “I mean, I’ve never dated a white person before, either.”

“Oh,” I said, not knowing how to react to that.

She laughed at me. “Okay, I haven’t even dated that many people, but I have this rule. I won’t say no just because the person’s not Black if I happen to meet them and there’s a connection, but I also don’t actively seek out white people. You know, like on dating apps or whatever. But we met, and you fell into the first category, and I liked you. I still do. But now there’s all of this, and part of me is saying it’s a bad sign. But the other part of me is saying it’s not, because I can understand why things are complicated for you. And I do like talking to you.”

“Why do you not usually date white people?” I asked. “I mean, I can guess why, but is there a specific reason.”

“Not really,” she said. “Just the same reason most people probably have, I don’t want to risk dating someone I’ll have to educate on basic things. I don’t have the energy for that, and I’d have trouble getting close to that kind of person.”

“That makes sense,” I said.

“Yeah, and I can’t even judge you on like, other relationships you have with Black people, because you don’t have any friends,” she said with a joking smile.

I laughed. “Okay, you don’t have to rub it in.”

She grinned as she emptied her cup.

“I have a question,” I said as she set it down.

She gave me a look that said I should continue.

“You keep saying that logically you think these things are bad signs,” I said. “But what about not logically?”

She bit her lip, her smile reaching her eyes as she said, “Not logically, I still really like you.”

---------------------

I saw Aaliyah the moment I walked in the café, but had to stop and pause for a moment. She was always pretty, but she’d clearly spent some extra time in front of the mirror preparing for our date, and the result was pretty breathtaking. Her braids were swept up in a ponytail, making her gold dangly earrings stand out. As I got closer, I realized they made the golden flecks in her eyes stand out, which were accentuated by her eyeliner.

She got up when she saw me and we greeted each other with a hug. “Hey!” I said. “You look great.” Billie had told me something about making my compliments specific, so I added, “I love your earrings.”

“Thanks!” she replied brightly. “My grandma gave them to me. You look good, too.”

I shifted uncomfortably, wondering if she was only saying that out of politeness. I was wearing a pale blue button-down that I considered to be my nicest shirt and jeans without holes in them that I’d bought specifically for the occasion.

“Thanks,” I echoed, sitting down across from her. She’d already set a pile of games on the table.

“I picked out some that I like, but you can look around too, if you want,” she told me.

My eyes flitted around the café. Every nook and cranny was filled to the brim with so many games that I wouldn’t know where to start. “I don’t really play games that often,” I explained.

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Really?”

I shook my head. “I mean, we had a few we used to play when I was little, but I never really got into it.” I hadn’t even known board game cafés were a thing until Aaliyah had suggested it. I gestured to the pile. “Do you have a favorite?”

She bit her lip, then said, “Okay, you can’t laugh, but it’s Settler’s of Catan.”

I frowned. “Why would I laugh?” I’d definitely played it before.

She looked at me sheepishly. “I don’t know, no one ever wants to play it with me. Billie and Riley say it’s a game for ten-year-olds.”

To be fair, it had been a while since I’d played, and I wasn’t sure I was remembering it correctly. Wasn’t it the game that was kind of like Monopoly but with wheat and ore instead of money? “Really? I don’t mind it, we can play if you want.”

She smiled and excitedly started unpacking the box. While we were setting up, a waitress came over and we both ordered a hot chocolate.

“Do you come her a lot?” I asked Aaliyah after the waitress had gone.

She shrugged. “From time to time. I wouldn’t say I’m a regular. I’ve definitely never had a date here before.”

My cheeks heated, the word date reminding me exactly why we were here. “Where do you usually go on dates, then?” I asked, hoping to figure out if she had any kind of active dating life.

“I don’t know, it depends. I don’t think I go on enough dates to have a ritual.” That was good to hear. She finished placing her settlements, spending much more time considering their location than I had, before throwing the question back at me. “What about you?”

There wasn’t any point in lying. “To be completely honest, I’ve never actually been on a date before,” I admitted awkwardly, praying she wouldn’t find it too weird.

She didn’t even seem surprised, just confused, which made it even more embarrassing. “Wait, really? Never? Not even like, an awkward thing when you were a teenager that never led anywhere?”

I technically still was a teenager, but I decided not to remind her of that. I shook my head. “Nope.”

To my relief, she smiled and said, “Wow, so I’m your first. I’m honored.”

I tried to look her right in the eyes as I replied, “Well, yeah. I wasn’t gonna go on my first date with just anyone.”

Her smile widened, but she didn’t answer, just looked at the board awkwardly as I rolled. Had I made her flustered? I hadn’t thought that was possible with her.

She swore when I rolled a seven and gleefully moved the robber over to her side of the board. “Damn it.” She took the dice from me before asking, “Do you have any idea what you want this to be, then?”

I blanched, my carefree mask slipping. I’d been so focused on getting the date, I hadn’t even considered specifics. I’d fantasized about cuddling with her while we watched a movie none of us was paying attention to, talking until we fell asleep. Waking up next to her, seeing her first thing in the morning and feeling safe and content. Did that mean I wanted her to be my girlfriend?

“You don’t have to have a definitive answer or anything,” Aaliyah quickly assured me when I didn’t answer. “I was just wondering if you’d thought about it at all.”

“I haven’t really,” I admitted finally. “Like we said, I just want to spend time with you.” The admission made my anxiety spike, making me feel my thumping heart in my entire body.

Was she blushing? She definitely looked happy, so I must have said something right. “Yeah, I mean, we can just keep dating for a bit. I like spending time with you, too.”

It was my turn to blush, and I couldn’t help but think how dorky we both must look. Much too soon, it was time for her to go to work. Our knuckles brushed as I walked her to her car, and in the spur of the moment, I grabbed her hand, grinning ecstatically when she accepted it and linked our fingers together.

She stopped in front of a dark green Kia. I liked cars that had pretty colors. Nowadays, they all seemed to be exclusively in different shades of gray. “I had a really nice time. Thanks for playing Catan with me.”

I smiled down at her, still holding her hand. “I really liked it. We should go there again sometime.”

“I’d love to,” she agreed.

I was just thinking that on account of our height difference, I’d probably have to make some sort of move when it came to kissing, when she surprised me by getting up on her tippy toes and pressing a kiss to my cheek. Before I’d fully registered what had happened, she was saying goodbye and walking over to the driver’s side of her car. I stared after her, and she caught my eye one last time before getting in.

“Are you okay?” she asked teasingly.

“I’m great!” I said, a bit too enthusiastically, and she laughed.

“We’ll text, okay?” And with that, she pulled out of her parking spot in one of the smoothest maneuvers I’d ever seen and was gone.

Overview

Previous chapter

Next chapter

Them getting back together is pretty rushed here, which is definitely gonna change in future rewrites. I definitely want Alex to break things off, and I definitely want them together in Part 2. I'm gonna expand on a lot of things in general. If anyone has any suggestions on how to change/ add things, I'm all ears.

13 notes · View notes

taylorwantslove · 7 months ago

Text

Losing Friends and Wanting To Kick Someone In The Nuts (11/26/2024 Journal Entry)

Well today was a doozy. This guy that I was friends with who lives in California unfriended me. Gave me no reason. No nothing. Just silently left. I thought maybe it was because I changed my username and he got confused as to who I was. I messaged him and asked him about it last night but he hasn't responded, and honestly, I don't think he will.

It was completely uncalled for and yeah, I'm a little hurt. I guess, he's not an LGBTQIA+ supporter or he just found an excuse to dump me. I was in a bit of a shock when I saw that he wasn't on my friends list.... but I could keep going on about it.

The fact is that he's gone without so much as a thank you, or a fuck off and maybe it's better that way. I am glad we were friends for a while but I'm sad he left. I have to remind myself that I didn't do anything wrong.

On another note, my dad started a new job yesterday, but it fell through. The owner (who's a kid... not much older than me) was being a total dick to my dad. I love my dad. Sure, we have our differences but he's still my dad, you know? He doesn't deserve to be spoken to that way.

He also wouldn't be getting paid for training, and they would hold back six weeks on his pay which is total bull and way too long. I know here in Canada it's mandatory to hold back a couple of weeks. Not sure why that is, but it's always been that way but six weeks? pfft. Way too long.

But the owner was being a total tool saying shit like "I don't need those trucks out there." and shit like that. He's a snot nose asshole. Fed a fucking silver spoon. Has never gone hungry. Always had money. and I bet you ten to one his daddy was the one who got his trucking business off the ground. Fuck him and fuck that company.

My dad can find a better job than that shit show.

Tomorrow, I talk to my therapist, and in just the last couple of days, a lot has happened. So, I have a lot to talk to her about. Anyway, that's the update for today.

Money is going to be really tight this month, but we'll have a good Christmas dinner...maybe not much presents, but a dinner is nice. We thought that this job would have worked out but it didn't. My dad isn't upset about it, but I am. I want to kick that kid in the nuts to be honest. Kick him off that god damn high horse.

Anyway, I'm rambling.

Take care,

-Nick

10 notes · View notes

vampymaddy · 7 months ago

Text

Part Four - Beach Party

I poured the coffee into a cup, my hands slightly trembling as I set it on the counter before going back to polishing spoons.

Rafe smirked,his fingers drumming over the ceramic cup with a hum. "You're good at this, the 'pretend I'm bothered' act. But your hands-" He pointed the silver spoon at them, "-kind of give you away"

I stopped polishing the cutlery as I hid my hands under the counter,taking a deep annoyed breath. I could feel embarrassment wash over me though. "So what do you want?"

"Nothing really. Just curious ,I guess. You've got a lot of fight in you,for somene who doesn't stand a chance"

I furrowed my brows as I stared at him. "Don't stand a chance to what? Your games? You're not scaring me"

His smirk reappeared on hid face as his eyes glimmered at me,something hidden. "That's what makes it fun," he spoke before setting the cup down and reached into his back pockets to leave the cash on the counter. "See you around then,Skye"

I watched him stand up and remained silent, the bell jingling again as he opened the door and left the café. I was still standing there with my jaw clenched and heart beating like crazy.

He wasn't done. Not yet.

Later that week the Pogues insisted on joining a party after all the stormy events. I couldn't say no, and I could totally use a drink.

The music thumped loudly, feeling the bass vibrating through the sand as we made our way through the crowded beach. Fairy lights casted the light on clusters of people, dancing, drinking, and lounging near the bonfire. I wore a simple black summer dress with my worn sneakers.

"This is what we need guys," Kiara said, throwing an arm around my shoulders. "Just some drinks, some bad dancing, and no trouble"

"You jinxed it already , Kie" Pope muttered as he passed me a Solo cup that smelled like cheap rum and suddenly it didn't even matter what it was.

"Unbelievable" I took a big gulp as every each one of our eyes settled on Rafe and his goons. He was wearing a messy white shirt with the first two buttons opened, a pair of navy blue shorts and white adidas. The whole energy just shifted into something that made my head sting. And no it wasn't from the rum.

"You want to leave?" John B asked, knowing very well why it would make me uncomfortable.

I shook my head, "No way, not letting him ruin tonight as well"

Rafe was too busy laughing and grabbing a drink from the makeshift bar. But I knew it wouldn't last long until he would see us. It's as if he could smell our presence from miles away.

And after some time I was soon to be right, as I danced with Kiara I could feel his gaze lingering too heavily on me. I glanced and saw him across the bonfire, his smirk instantly plastered on his face.

Fuck.

I immediately adverted my gaze and mumbled, "You have to be kidding me"

"What?" Kiara asked, following the gaze I had earlier on and groaned. "Great. Here we go"

Rafe broke away from his group, heading straight towards us with a swagger that made me want to throw my drink at him only for that. He stopped a few feet away, his eyes flickering between me and the Pogues.

Kiara rolled her eyes as she made sure not to let him get to me. "Not in the mood,Rafe"

"Relax, I'm not here to start anything. Just saying hi"

"Hi. Now leave" Kiara shot back, glaring at him.

"You clean up nice" Rafe spoke again, his gaze focused on me again. He eyed me up and down, for a bit too long for my liking. "Didn't peg you for the beach party type"

"Can you not ruin tonight for me?" I finally spoke to him, my eyes lingering on his stupid stance. The way he chuckled with both hands in his pockets and his lips stayed curled into a sly smile.

"I'll behave tonight, for now"

"You know that doesn't suit you" I mumbled with bitterness.

"Guess we'll see" and with that, he turned around to leave back to his group as we all glared after him.

"Can we throw him in the ocean?" JJ mumbled, Kiara shooting him a glance but I responded too quickly.

"Tempting" I confessed, my eyes still on Rafe as he glanced back once, catching me watching him and quickly looked away.

The night wasn't over yet and I could already tell, this was no good.

#rafe fanfiction #rafe cameron #writers on tumblr #rafe obx #outer banks #enemies to lovers #slow burn #Spotify

16 notes · View notes

interstellarsystem · 1 year ago

Note

As someone only just opening up to the idea of exploring the system, do you have any tips on what helped you or stories that relate? I'm kinda just at a loss but seeing your website was very helpful for me.

Sorry we're late to this, life is busy so we haven't had many spoons left to formulate thoughtful responses.

I'm glad our website was helpful! We're still slowly working on updating it, there's lots of bits and pieces missing but coding is an absolute pain when our brain wants to focus on literally anything else.

But anyway.... Some of this might not apply to you, some of this you might already know, and some might be helpful. That's a whole part of being a system--everyone is different. We went through things others might not have, and vice versa. This is mainly sharing what we think was important for us and may help others and is by no means the system rulebook or anything like that.

1. First, let's talk about "personhood", for lack of better phrasing.

Honestly, first of all I'd say that remembering that your headmates have separate feelings and such like any other person would is very important. Keeping this in your brain can help when tensions between you might get high due to you not seeing things the same way, or if you can't understand something from their perspective.

Sometimes things get complicated sharing a body but remembering that beyond the shared space, they might be just as complex as you is very important to all of you. Maybe they have specific hobbies, maybe they don't like the movies you do, maybe they don't really even know who they are yet. Give them space and time to explore themselves as much as you'd need for yourself, and learn together if you want to. Try to get to know them like you would with any external person--and more importantly, listen to what you all individually want.

You won't always get along. If you shove, say, 30 random strangers in a room together and put them there for the next week, some people won't like each other. Some will become great friends. Others will just kind of be there. It's a bit different in a system but the premise still stands--they can have different opinions. This includes on any friends you might have. This is normal even if it might be hard to navigate, but honestly the stepping stone to preventing any huge arguments in a system is establishing communication and understanding.

We didn't have the biggest problem with this one, but our system needed to come a long way for all of us to feel equal in the body and the same amount of "being a person" as each other, which for us was absolutely needed.

We had issues with mistreating persecutors especially, and none of that was productive to our functioning. Some of the persecutors who were around back then are still angry. It sucks, bad things happen, and moving more toward treating headmates more properly was a huge step for us. If we get a new persecutor now, we treat them as we would literally anyone else. One of the newer ones fronts over here a good 70% of the time now, with no issues. This won't be the same for everyone but keeping things calmer starts with not msitreating anyone.

Overall, making sure your system feels seen and understood by other members or can at least coexist usually makes everything else easier.

2. Maybe an obvious one and one that's been said many times, but ignore discourse while you're new--or for as long as you can.

This might make some people roll their eyes, but seriously. You don't need to justify yourselves to anyone. They don't need your diagnostic history, information on your headmates, information on your age, what experiences you have or don't have--you don't have to share anything you don't want to. Discourse is so damaging to mental health in general, especially when you're trying to figure out a new experience you have. Being a system is confusing sometimes and you don't need people screaming at each other or at you about it while you're still new and learning.

But on that topic... If you experience it, whatever that may be, it's real enough to you and you don't need anyone else to deconstruct your life/lives to deem you valid or invalid. "Is it a thing for x to be able to happen?"--I'm almost certain it'll usually be a resounding yes. Now, whether whatever "x" is in that situation is productive or harmful? That's more of a thing that people might be able to weigh in on, but you still know what your experiences are and the same things will not always harm or help everyone. You know yourselves better than anyone else--no one is in your head, except for your systemmates. And they know what they feel, not random people outside that.

If you're getting hate, block them. If people are questioning you too thoroughly and you can't handle it or it feels invasive, block them. You can block people for literally any reason you'd like and it's perfectly okay! Yeah, some people might get grumpy that you blocked them and they can't argue anymore, but if they come back on an alt? Block them again, also report them. If certain people, a certain space or anything similar is taking a toll on your mental health, take a step back and decide if whatever benefit these things are giving outweigh the stress. If anything at all is taking a toll on you, reevaluate why you're continuing to be in those spaces.

We occasionally respond to discourse or a particularly confusing or funny hate ask, but that's because mentally we can handle it. We've been around for long enough we've seen a lot and we're in therapy and we're mentally stable for the most part. Yes, sometimes it still does hurt and that's when a break is needed--you don't need to put people's opinions of you before your health.

3. Take your time. You have plenty of it.

Another one that's said a lot but it really is true. You don't need to push yourselves to know everything about every one of you immediately. You don't need to know every system term on pluralpedia within the first week--or ever. You don't need to know how to put your experiences into words, or switch on command, or explain where your system came from. Systems are complex and honestly even after knowing about ours since 2017-18 we're still learning new things that have been around for years we just didn't know about, and that's okay!

Experience things as they go--journal if you'd like, keep a switch log on something like the SimplyPlural app or a physical book, etc. Take notes of whatever you'd like to look back on if you want, or if you have issues with memory between headmates. Take things one day at a time and remember that you don't need to be a plural experiences encyclopedia within the month, or ever.

You being a system is all it takes to be a system. More than one person in your head? Congrats, you're plural! No further explanation needed--origin labels, member roles, member count, whether you have fictives or factives or not--literaly none. Wanting to know things is normal but you sure as hell don't need to know it all and there's no rush.

That being said, take your time looking through resources and even personal sites made by systems. Neocities is a good place to look for personal websites, and we can recommend joining communities for plurals and even just occasionally looking at experiences. The pluralgang tag here on Tumblr is inclusive, r/plural isn't a place we frequent too often but from what we've seen it's good, there's plenty of Discord servers to pick from--you'll likely learn things along the way, along with what fits you and what doesn't. Just remember everything about spaces draining you that was said in point 2.

---

I honestly can't think of much more that doesn't go into specific experiences that would be much more niche. Most of this is pretty broad but I hope it's somewhat helpful at the very least. If you have follow up questions, absolutely feel free to send them in, and good luck!

20 notes · View notes

popcornforone · 9 months ago

Text

September

From the Marcus Pike Fan Fic Diary

Master list

August

Thank god for a friend sending me a Pike edit. I almost forgot to post this today. Mainly because I’m going away next week & I have a mini plan in place. So let’s see where they are this month.

Synopsis:- It’s your anniversary & you report back to the diary on your special day.

Work count:- 1100

Warnings:- DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18! PIV sex, pleasure, stimulation, alcohol. This is much shorter & less smuttier than the other chapters but I don’t think it needed to be long. Creepy guy who doesn’t accept no consent, but consent is used for the rest of it.Remember this is in a diary format.

Thanks as always for the read & feedback peoples I hope you enjoy.

I know Marcus spoils me but then there was yesterday. It was our anniversary.

I tell you the story every year diary. How there was a creep who wouldn’t take no for an answer, who was drunk & tried to grope me. I said I’d had a boyfriend as I walked past a table of guys & this red flag man almost followed me into the ladies. Next thing I knew Marcus was standing behind me rubbing my hand saying baby, it’s our anniversary come dance with me. He had a message on his phone so only I could read it, saying he worked for the government & would keep me safe. To make it look real to the creep, we kissed tenderly (with consent of course) & made sure we danced close or were near each other all night & I thought I would never see the hero man again. I didn’t get his number or his surname all I knew was he was called Marcus. But 3 days later, red roses arrived at my apartment, that I shared at the time with 3 friends, asking if I wanted to meet up in a week or a years time for our anniversary. & the rest is history.

We didn’t need to book the day off either of us. It was a Saturday, means we can chill today too. I woke up to his kisses as he was my big spoon, his erection pressing into my lower back & his hand once he knew I was awake, strumming my clit. I moaned away, feeling his affection & love as he pleasured me. I moan was low as he plundered me. Every inch feeling exquisite, he likes me when I completely give into him in bed & when he came the beguiled look on his face was wonderful.

Then I made breakfast. His favourite avocado on toast. I can’t stand it but he says I do something really good with the toast. I don’t, it’s just normal toast, but he ate that down, like a man who hadn’t eaten in months.

As he was in the shower the door bell rang & there was my bunch of red roses, with the same note as every year, dinner in a week or a year. I sniffed them before I felt his arms around me to sniff my air. Whispered words escaping his lips.

“I’ll always be here for you baby, I love you”

We then went for a walk, not to far. The park about 4 blacks away. It wasn’t too cold or breezy. A jumper or light jacket was fine for us. I tried to listen to our conversation but my mind was busy thinking how many times he was stroking my knuckles, that fat flat thumb gliding across. Me thinking of all the other places his fingers & thumbs go when he wants me at his mercy.

We got a coffee & cake by the cafe, which was when I decided to give him his anniversary gift… he cried… he cried a lot. I cried too. The way he held me & then kissed me looking down at the gift diary, it would make even the darkest hearts melt. I know he loves me but I’ve never seen a man look quite so happy & filled with love in all of my life. I told you last week diary about this, it’s now a secret for you me & Marcus.

Then we went home & had decided this year to not go out for fancy dinner for our anniversary but to go to the new cinema down the road. They do dinner before hand, simple food & you eat & drink in your seats & then once the food is cleared away the first half of the film starts & then at the interval you get desert & snack & then you watch the second half. All classic films. As we do both love movies we thought this would be a cool way to spend our evening.

Marcus salivated over every mouthful of his burger & chips. I sat there eating my macaroni cheese with bacon. He used that large thumb to get the mess off my face as it dripped.

“Always making a mess my love ”

“I just like you taking care of me” I replied as I sipped my drink. His beer is almost empty, but we were topped up as our food was cleared. We had the best seat in the cinema

3 rows from the back in a little sofa bang splat in the middle. Room for me to scooch up into the sofa once I had taken my shoes off & rest my head in Marcus shoulder as the film started.

“I’m guessing you’re comfortable baby” he said as he moved the stray hair off my face.

“More than comfortable” I giggle, my hand stroking his thigh as the Shawshank redemption started. The way he held me as we watched. Other than the noise in the screen I could hear his heart beat softly thudding. Each touch from his hand stroking down my bare arms was magical. Like we were just starting to date all over again. This was my perfect moment nothing could beat this. When the interval did come we decided on no deserts just extra popcorn for us both, always a spare bucket so we can mix our sweet & salted.

The film was fantastic, I mean it’s Shawshank, when isn’t it. We then got into a taxi & he peppered my neck with kisses.

“Only you, my Angel, only you” he moaned into my ear.

“Oooh Marcus”

We got back home & went straight to bed. Marcus delicately taking off every item of my clothing, humming before his mouth latched on to my nipple. My body still trembles for him, & as he laid me down & slowly edged his way inside me as I gasp his eyes softened.

“This is the most perfect moment of my life baby” Marcus said as he started to find his rhythm. He was extra slow patient & seductive tonight. “I never want things to change”

“They won’t Marcus, I love you too much to even want to think about anything else”

“Me & you forever”

“No, even longer”

I don’t know what time it was we fell asleep, but the sweat on his chest tasted good as I snuggled into him. He might have been calm & slow but that just meant more pleasure from my man.

Oooh diary, I wonder if this time next year if Marcus & I will celebrate our anniversary in the same magical way. Only time will tell.

October

#marcus pike fanfics #pedro pascal #fanfic #my fics #smutt #no minors #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal cinematic universe #over18 #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction #marcus pike fan fic #marcus pike fanfiction #pedro pascal fan fic #pedro pascal universe #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fic #marcus pike

16 notes · View notes

bengiyo · 2 years ago

Text

Love Class 2 Eps 9 & 10 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Last week, in keeping with the theme, I can barely remember what happened in the K-BLs. I know that the younger couples all basically came out to each other, and all three couples gave some decent kissing. I continue to enjoy J-min. I also am glad we resolved the situation with Kim An’s orphanage friend, because that was kinda fucked. The TA and artist are dealing with a misunderstanding that feels a little meaty, so I hope we have a good resolution moment for it. I’m glad Maru and Minwoo finally kissed about their problems.

Episode 9

I’m okay starting with Minwoo and Maru spooning.

Okay, it’s very sweet of Maru to recognize that Minwoo has loved him for a long time and stood by him through all the things Maru went through. I love him promising to be there with Minwoo now.

Kim An is shirtless in bed? How now brown cow.

Never mind, they’re handling business and getting it in.

Oh shit. Joo Hyuk’s friend read him on this park date goddamn.

Oh, was Joo Hyuk with the teacher that Sungmin often does chores for?

Looks like Maru’s tormenting of the manager worked.

Look at my girl finally finding a straight man to flirt with.

The professor was Joo Hyuk’s uncle? LOL

My man Sungmin is so resilient. He realized he’d embarrassed himself, cleared up the matter, and then asked for a date. That’s what I’m talking about!

Kim An and Lee Hyun are frolicking!!

I’m okay with everyone getting cute dates this episode.

I will never get tired of people expressing their feelings for each other clearly and directly, and then making out.

“You are obedient at important moments,” and “Let’s have many important moments. I promise I’ll be a good boy,” what actually so hot.

I appreciate that there was probably a limit to how physically intimate they could get an idol like J-min to be in this show, and so they fed us with the sides. It’s something Thailand relied upon a lot for a while. J-min served well by being so talented in the early parts when I was struggling a bit. This show has struck a really nice balance after I settled into it.

I see you boys rolling around with each other and I know what that means. Nicely done, sirs.

I love that the tag is giving us the backstory for how Joo Hyuk fell for Sungmin. Unsurprisingly, Joo Hyuk was kind of a whiny drunk.

Episode 10

Now we’re on a Gays Only Camping Trip? Incredible.

This looks like so much fun omg.

These people have immaculate vibes. This is way better than whatever the fuck was going on in Our Skyy 2: Star in My Mind.

This supermarket trip is so cute holy shit.

You mean the tell me this is a gay bbq and they didn’t know they was all paired off? Gay people are so dumb.

I love this conversation between Minwoo and Lee Hyun about how Minwoo used to be jealous of Lee Hyun’s feelings.

This show is doing a really good job showing couples settling into each other in its finale.

Okay, deciding to no longer kiss in the shadows is such a baller gay thing to say that this show just earned half a point.

Okay this photo is really good.

Final Verdict: 8.5, This Was Cute as Hell. I want to thank @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle for getting me to keep going with this show. I think it was a little hard to follow at first, but I had really satisfying outings with all of the characters here. It was kind of a grab bag of plots, but once I locked in I had a fantastic time. This was really fun, and a worthwhile watch. J-min has real talent and I was impressed by him.

#love class 2 #korean bl #bl series #Ben watches

40 notes · View notes

britswriting · 2 years ago

Text

Fallen For You | H.S AU - One

Fallen For You Masterlist

Read on Wattpad

Description/warnings

Rancher!HarryxPlus-sized!OC

🦋Delaney🦋

Finding out your crush for the past 5 years is finally working on your family Ranch almost sent me into cardiac arrest.

The first time I met Harry, I knew he was attractive; but he was the new guy and I knew everyone would fawn over him. I mean, just look at him!

Dreamy hair, dreamy eyes, dreamy muscles.... but then I didn't see him again.

It wasn't until he moved to the Rickman's ranch that the feelings developed. I started seeing him anytime I had to deliver milk, or bread.

Sure my feet might've dragged a little bit, or my gaze lingered just a second too long, but he never acknowledged it; having been too busy discussing things with Chase Rickman, and my dad.

For years my dad has been trying to get Harry to move ranches. Swindle Harry a good deal, tell him that he didn't have to be treated like meat and muscle for the strict Ranch owner or the Ranch owners daughters. The Rickman's were basically slave owners. The only difference is they paid well; something the rest of the town couldn't compete with.

Was a good paycheck worth being treated like shit?

I sometimes questioned what Harry got out of it. Was being overworked and sexually harassed worth a warm bed and a good meal if you could get it from somewhere else? I question his integrity. His self worth and just how badly he needed a well paying paycheck. Especially in a town that ran off of getting ingredients from your neighbors.

The questions only rose when my dad burst through the kitchen door three weeks ago announcing he had finally gotten Harry Styles to agree to leave the Rickman's ranch with a few conditions.

1: He would have his own living quarters; meaning we had a lot of work to do.

2: He would have a warm meal each night

3: He would have one day off a week, preferably Sunday's which rose the question "Is he religious?"

"Mm! That's good, Laney." My twin sister Wrenlynn hummed, sneaking another swipe of my batter.

"Stop!" I whined, swiping the mixing bowl away from her, holding it protectively at my side. "It's not for you!" I scowled, turning to work at the other side of the counter.

"Yeah, yeah. It's for Mr. Cowboy." She teased, her smug grin painting a blush across my cheeks, my nose wrinkling as I shook my head. "Shut up! It is too!" She laughed, inching closer to me as I ignored her, "You know he doesn't mingle with his employers, right?"

"Good thing I'm not his employer then." I quipped back, "Dad and Grandma are."

"Be serious, Delaney! Don't embarrass yourself like the Rickman girls!" Wrenlynn warned as I spooned the brownie batter into an oblong cake pan. "Can I have the spoon at least?" She pleaded, sitting down on the backless black metal swivel barstool.

I passed her the spoon, shoving the pan into the oven as I set a timer, Wrenlynn speaking up again, "Come on Laney. Don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad." I mumbled, taking a deep breath, turning to look over at her, my voice fell soft, "You compared me to the Rickman's."

Allison and Natalie Rickman were girls around our age who lived two ranches over from us. Their dad had coaxed Harry to work for them and word quickly traveled around town at the disgusting things the girls did to get his attention. Things like making off handed sexual comments, to walking by windows naked where he was working. How can Wrenlynn compare me making him brownies to practically shoving my tits in his face?

"Delaney, I didn't say you were the Rickman's. I said don't be the Rickman's."

"I'm not!" I frowned, "I just made brownies. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing's wrong with making brownies, Delaney. It's just... you've done a lot." She noted, "You worked your ass off in that guest house with mom. I mean, Mimi said you were barely at the market lately! He's just another stupid boy, Delaney. Don't bust your ass for a guy who won't care."

"You don't know that he won't care." I argued back, shrinking a little when Wren tossed me a look. "Okay, okay! This is the last thing I'll make!" I swore, insecurity creeping up as I scanned the plethora of baked goods I made. "To be fair, some of these are for the market!"

"How many are for the market?"

"Uh.." I chewed on my lower lip, scanning the baked goods.

"Delaney! He's gonna be diabetic if you give him all that! We're out of flour and sugar ya know?! Pick one that you give to him, the rest needs to go to the market."

"How can I pick just one?! What if he doesn't like it?!" I worried, Wrenlynn groaning.

"Oh my god, it's not that serious!"

"It is too! First impressions mean everything, Wrenlynn!"

"Delaney! He isn't going to remember you at all!" She shouted, my eyes widening as my lips parted, Wrenlynn quickly matching my expression. "Delaney..." She said softly, tears welling up in my eyes and I nodded, trying to pull myself together.

"No. You're right. It can all go to the market." I mumbled, slipping past her and quickly pushing open the wooden storm door, hearing it slam behind me as I b-lined it down the path to the guest house only to abruptly stop, the sight of Harry and my dad conversing near the barn causing my breath to hitch.

I can't meet Harry like this!

I quickly spun around on my heel, coming to a halt again when my mom walked out the kitchen door, some sort of envelope in her hand.

"Delaney!" She grinned, "Come on, sweetheart! Let's go meet our new rancher." She urged, her hand grabbing my own as she pulled me with her.

"Mom! Please! I don't think that's a good idea!" I rushed, tripping over my own feet, struggling to keep up with her quick strides.

I could feel her eyes roll from a mile away, and before I knew it I was standing right in front of my crush, flushed cheeks and all as my father began to introduce us.

Oh god.

"Harry, this is my wife Theresa, and daughter Delaney." My dad pointed at us both as he said our name, Harry giving us a curt nod as my mom greeted him.

I stood there awkwardly until my moms big fat mouth opened again, "She's spent the past few days setting up the guest house, so if you have any questions about where things are, feel free to ask Delaney. I'm sure she'll be overjoyed to help you!"

Oh my god. Overjoyed? Really mom?! Can the ground just swallow me whole?

Might as well just tell the man I've been in love with him since I knew what a crush was!

Harry gave my mom another curt nod, focusing back on my dad.

Literally kill me.

"Feel free to get settled in tonight and we can start fresh tomorrow," Dad said. "Delaney will take you to your guest house." Why me? Dad turned to look at me, "Delaney, you have the key, correct?" Oh. That's why. I quickly nodded, swallowing the saliva that began to accumulate in the back of my throat as I looked away from the gorgeous man.

Harry was in some long — yet tight in all the right places — blue Jeans. They appeared worn at the knees, the material that covered his thighs had a tinge of brown brushed across them. Some slightly heeled ‐ what I can only assume to be cowboy boots, and an all white loose fitted shirt bunched up slightly at his belt buckle, raising an eyebrow from me. Why would you wear white? The fabric hugged his arms and pecks in a delicious way that caused my eyes to linger, before it became looser at his waist.

His dark brown hair in messy waves at the top of his head, appearing to be slightly damp. God imagine him showering... all wet with water dripping down his naked body; his hands running through his slick backed hair before grabbing his shampoo... When he turned to face my dad, I noticed his sides appeared to be recently shaven to give more of a faded look. My mouth watering all over again at the idea of running my hands through his curls, or leaving a lipstick mark against his fade—

Moms hand waving in front of my face cut my thoughts short as I heard, "Delaney? Earth to Lane!"

"Hm?" I hummed, feeling my face heat up as I felt his green eyes laser locked on me, a scowl etched into his godlike complexation.

God damnit Delaney.

"Please take Harry to his guest house," she said, and I swallowed yet again, nodding as I turned around to walk to what was now his residence on our ranch.

I peaked over my shoulder, seeing he was still standing with my parents; "Are you coming or not?" I yelled out, catching a quick glimpse of his eyebrows scrunching before I looked away, picking up my pace as my stomach began to whirl.

You did not just yell at him, Delaney! What are you thinking?

"First impressions mean everything" as you yell at him!

Stupid stupid stupid

"Already bustin' my balls huh?" His raspy voice made me jump.

God he walks fast.

"What?" I gasped, snapping my neck to look at him, the two of us walking in strides down the loose gravel path.

"You're bustin' my balls already" he repeated, his rich, buttery smooth drawl with the smallest undertone of rasp as he began talking, made my knees wobble.

"What do you mean?" I asked, worried I've already screwed the entire family over because I stupidly snapped at the devilishly handsome man.

I so badly wanted to sit on a soft picnic blanket sprawled out in the luscious green grass field, his head in my lap as I played with his hair, feeding him strawberries and enjoying the beautiful sunshine and the sunkissed warmth that'd leave a beautiful golden tan imprinted on our skin.

"First you daydream, and then yell at me as if we weren't all waiting on you." he snickered, my stomach clenching, a pit forming in my throat.

Shit. Does he already think I'm annoying?

"Oh.. uh, sorry," I muttered. "I tend to um.. tune my dad out when he talks ranch stuff. You grow up around it, it's all you hear. Can get boring at times," I admitted.

You did not just say that to a rancher, Delaney!

I couldn't help but mentally scold myself as I continued to fumble over everything I've told myself not to do.

The silence began to get loud as my brain began to race.

Am I talking too much? Should I ask him about himself? Or is that a bad idea? and what does he mean by busting his balls? I wasn't giving him a hard time... right? Shit. was I? Delaney! You can't go bossing around the guy you've had a crush on since he moved into town! Dad will have my neck if I drive this boy away by my annoying habits after how much effort was put into getting this godsent rancher to occupy our now guest house.

"You're doing it again." he hummed, pulling me back into reality.

"Sorry um.. well.. this is uh, it." I stopped in front of a quite literal tiny house.

Silence was truly my worst enemy, and Harry Styles screamed it.

Was it too small? Did he want better? What were his previous ranchers' guest houses like?

Maybe he had those silk sheets royalty used, and those amazing thread count pajamas. Something so truly magical that this place looked like a pig's den to him.

I eyed my crystal clear windows that I spent far too long washing, the fresh coat of white paint along the trim of the front door. Mimi and I even went out of our way to get a clean welcome mat outside the front door.

I thought it looked nice.

I mean, it looked better than it used to look. It was never really occupied, it was more so used as another storage shed all up until about two weeks ago when my dad dropped the news that Harry was officially and finally our new ranch hand, sending my family into full panic mode as we began to prepare for him.

The entire town knows how much of a pain in the ass he is. I mean, he's one of the best at what he does, which made up for how much manual labor we had to put into our ranch, making sure it was up to his standards by the time he got here. I've never seen my dad so stressed, or my grandma for that matter.

Finically, we couldn't risk it being anything but perfect. Harry leaving wasn't an option.

"So is this just something you do? Space out so we can get nothing done? It's incredibly annoying," Harry stated. "Can I just have the key, and you can leave me alone and go daydream somewhere else?"

Oh.

It's incredibly annoying.

and you can leave me alone.

Go somewhere else.

Way to go Delaney. Took all of 10 minutes before you've gone and pissed him off.

I wish I could say that was a new record.

"Sorry" I murmured, slipping the key out of my jean jacket, handing it to him. I watched him step up to the door, pushing the key in, "You have to shove it in and kinda push upwards. It uh, gets stuck sometimes. We'll fix it, promise." I instructed, my chest tightening when I heard him huff, attempting to follow instructions, a minute passed and he was still unable to open it. "Do you need help?" I offered.

I watched his shoulder blades tense under his shirt as his body stilled, an audible gulp being heard from me as my stomach fluttered, watching him struggle.

We're toast. This is it. This is his final straw with me—

"You fucking do it." He grumbled, leaving the key in the lock as he stepped away, standing behind me which his arms crossed over his chest.

I took the key out, pushing it back in, shoving it up and giving it a slight wiggle... oh, I guess I forgot that part, and twisting it to unlock it, the door opening.

"This shit is getting fixed tonight." Harry warned, shoving past me.

I apprehensively walked in with him, the floors practically glistening from their recent wash.

I placed the key on the white counter next to the door, Harry's muddy boots walking right across my freshly cleaned floors.

I cringed.

Hold your tongue, Delaney.

"This it?" He asked, turning to face me as he stood in the makeshift living room.

"Uh.. yeah. I uh, I know it isn't much–"

"You're fucking right it isn't." he scoffed, shaking his head. "Is there even a fucking bed in this dump?" He asked, or.. stated? I wasn't sure.

Dump?

I frowned, looking around our freshly cleaned, painted, and detailed guest house.

What was wrong with it?

Sure it was small, but I didn't think it was a dump.

I'd argue it was nicer, and much more up to date than our own farmhouse.

At least this place had instant hot water unlike our farmhouse.

There's nothing quite like ending the day, covered in sweat, dirt, and god knows what else, having to wait 15 minutes on a good day for the hot water to MAYBE reach my shower.

"The uh.. couch.. has a pull out bed." I started, watching his eyes quickly turn into a glare, "There are these uh.. stairs." I slipped off my shoes at the little mat in front of the door, careful not to slip on the clean floors in my socks as I walked to the door by the bathroom that was on the opposite side of the living room, a small set of low stairs leading from the bathroom door, "It's a loft like space? The ceiling is pretty low.. but I mean, you could put a mattress up there." I finished, my left hand resting on the rail as my right foot propped up on the step.

"So there's no actual bed." he stated, not bothering to even make it sound like a question.

This man was a ticking time bomb and I held my breath awaiting the explosion.

"There's a place to sleep." I shot back, getting frustrated by how much he was putting down all our effort to make this space nice for him.

Surely it was better than the horse barn we could've tossed him in. There was a loft up there that we stored extra hay bales in for winter. I'm sure he would've been a lot more comfortable in the hay than the suggested pull out couch at this rate.

Harry met me at the stairs, practically squishing me against the wall due to the lack of room as he began to climb the stairs, already crouching as he reached the third step.

"Jesus christ," he grumbled.

"Watch your head!" I called out right as there was a thud followed by a hissed out curse word. "You okay?" I called, climbing up the stairs only to have a full view of Harry's ass, my eyes landing on his back jeans pockets. "Going up?" I questioned, backing down a few stairs as Harry turned around, one stair away from being back where I started.

"I fucking can't. This place is so fucking small, I don't even fit!" He groused, my lips tugging up into a small smile when his forehead creased.

"You crawl," I snickered, Harry narrowing his eyes at me.

"I'm no bitch baby, I'm not fucking crawling."

"Fine. Then don't use it."

"It's not even fucking useable, Delaney!" He exclaimed, my eyes widening slightly at the sound of my name falling off his lips for the first time, a frown beginning to take over when I realized how much aggravation his tone had when he said it.

"It is usable. I used to play up there all the time as a kid," I argued back.

"Yeah, as a fucking kid. Try being a six foot man." He grumbled, climbing back down the stairs, once again pushing me against the wall on — what I'm hoping to be — accident, walking back to the front door. "This simply won't fucking do." he huffed, opening the door and walking out.

My feet quickly carried me after him, snatching the key and whipping the door open, awkwardly running after him, wincing every time a rock impaled my foot as he marched towards my father.

"Harry! Please! Wait!" I yelled, beginning to pant due to how out of shape I was.

Running was not made for me.

"—It's too fucking small!" Harry told my dad, running over to him like a tattling toddler as I caught my breath, catching the tail end of whatever Harry was telling him.

"It is not!" I huffed, my dad eyeing the two of us like he used to eye my siblings and I when we'd argue over something stupid.

"Mr. Styles may I remind you you're a 28 year old man?" Dad said, Harry quickly jumped in, "That's right! A fucking 28 year old, six foot two, man who doesn't fucking fit in that rabbit shack!"

"You're being unreasonable!" I argued back, shocked where all this boldness came from.

One second it's beautiful brown curly hair I can't help but want to run my fingers through and next I'm ready to send his ungrateful ass packing back to the Rickman's.

Screw him! I worked hard on that place!

"I HIT MY HEAD ON THE FUCKING CEILING!" He shouted, both my dad and I's eyes widening. My dad bringing his hand to Harry's shoulder, "Harry–"

"I warned you!" I defended, Harry's nostrils flaring, his lips parting as my dad quickly beat him to the next said word.

"Harry, we aren't made of money unlike the Rickman's. The girls worked hard to make that rabbit shack a home and meet as many of your demands as possible. We would've given you the guest room in the main house — I don't know if you recall but one of your demands was your own place. It was that or the barn, and if it isn't good enough then you need to get off your damn high horse and learn you're not worth emptying my pockets for like that. I'm already wearing myself thin with you; when I shouldn't have to. If it's that big of a problem, go back to the Rickman's where they sexually harass and overwork you — the whole town knows, Harry." My dad explained when Harry gave him a quick alarmed look, "If you as much disrespect my family or my animals, your ass will be strung on the damn hook in front of town. Do you understand me?" Dad warned, Harry's jaw tight as he nodded, turning around on his heel and quite literally stomping back to the rabbit shack.

Dad turned to me, asking, "Are you alright?" And when I nodded his eyes narrowed at me, "Now Delaney Nicole Fallen, you are 26 years old. You are old enough to know better than to start some bullshit with the rancher! He's here to help us. He has his problems, we knew that. I'm not saying be a pushover, but you also need to pull it together and figure out how we're going to fix it; rather than drive him away! I know I told Harry he needs to get off high horse but you know just as much as I do how much we need his help. Can you try and make this transfer easier, please? I've already paid him his first check. That's a lot of money to lose out on just for his ungrateful ass to go wandering back to those cock suckers—"

"Dad!" I shrieked, my cheeks flushing at his foul language.

His eyes rolled, "You know what I'm saying." he said, myself nodding, "Wren will take your place at the market whilst you show Harry around on the farm, alright?"

"What? I thought you were doing that?" I questioned, completely blindsided by this new task I was given.

Surely he isn't just tossing me into the wolves with my crush, right?!

"I have to go to the Fosters and help with their hoof maintenance on their horses. I was supposed to be their yesterday, but you know Mimi and all her fucking shenanigans," He huffed, "Could barely find time in my day to eat let alone go a few ranches over and help out."

I nodded, my lips pursed, "So I have to do what?"

"Show Harry the reins. How we do things, how we use our animals. Has Louie already been a little shit?" He asked, myself chuckling as I shook my head.

Louie was my mothers' beloved long haired brown chihuahua. He was our only dog that didn't have a single job on the ranch but to be a pain in everyone's ass; and he did it well.

"Louie is with Grandma."

"Good, keep that ankle biter away from my rancher before he tries to run for the fucking hills again. I just need him to know where things are, and Morgan is busy at Gavin's family's for the weekend. I'm not asking for much–"

"He hated my house, dad," I reminded, offended that he thought this was a simple task.

Not only do I now have to be in close proximity with a guy who I've liked for far too long, but I've also gotten first hand experience with his notorious asshole attitude that hits just the right switch in me to make me forget all about his godlike appearance.

"Lane, if he truly hated it, he wouldn't have stomped back to it. He would've marched his overly expensive cowboy boots back to the Rickman's. Don't take his bullshit to heart, alright? Whatever he has going on isn't worth losing sleep over. Just make sure he's taking care of everything properly. You'll need to feed the dogs and cats. Harry said he won't do that," Dad informed me, my jaw dropping a little.

"What?! Why?"

"He said it wasn't a part of his job description." my dad's eyes rolled again, my brow furrowing.

"It is, though?"

"I don't fucking know, Delaney. I just know I love those rascals more than I should. Speaking of, their grooming appointment was made on Tuesday. You and Keegan need to help your mother wrangle them up. Also, tell Harry that means he'll have to take over the dogs jobs with the cattle and sheep whilst they're gone." he reminded me and I nodded, my hands stuffed in my jean pockets when I felt something metal.

Shit, his key

Before I could even process what I was holding, the sound of cowboy boots dragging against the gravel got louder.

"You locked me out of my own fucking house." he grumbled, glaring at me.

"No. I grabbed it so you didn't lock yourself out of your own house." I shot back, the key now in hand.

"Whatever. Let me in so I can get this shit over with." he huffed, not waiting for a response before turning around to walk away again.

I turned to my dad, my jaw tight, "I don't care how pretty his toned abs are, or how helpful he is on this ranch. I'm ready to murder him, I swear to god." I warned darkly, dad chuckling with a head shake.

"Breathe, Delaney. You'll make it out alive, promise. Now go let him in before he busts a window."

* * * *

Written on: July 18th, 26th, 28th, August 6th, 7th, September 8th, 2023, July 24th 2024

Published on: September 8th 2023 Republished: July 29th 2024

Word Count: 4.2k

Two

#fallenforyoubybrit #harrystyles #harrystylesoneshot #harrystylesfanfiction #harrystylesimagine #harrystylesfanfic #harrystyleswattpad #harry styles x oc #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #rancher!harry #harry!rancher #harrystylessmut #harrystylesblurb #dadrry #grumpy x sunshine

46 notes · View notes

differentalpacafestival · 1 year ago

Text

My AuDHD rant;

I realised something recently.

So I got diagnosed AuDHD (autistic and ADHD for anyone who might not understand) in 2023. Since my autism diagnosis, I've read up on what autism actually is and how it's impacting my life.

I bought a book from Amazon by Devon Price, Unmasking Autism, and I've only made it to like page 50 in a year, but I've still learned a lot that should've been obvious from the beginning. For instance, that people are different. Like, yeah, no shit, no one is the same through and through, but to me, the biggest difference between people were certain opinions like views on racism, homosexuality, human rights etc. Mostly things that matter to someone else, and not one self. However, from Devon's book, I realised that autism *is* a spectrum, I *am* a person, and just because I have *this* autistic experience, doesn't mean my AuDHD friend has the same, or Devon, or my family members. Like an opinion, autism is not black and white; it varies vastly from person to person and I am one of them. I look at black and brown people as people, whereas my brother sees them as objects; something owned, replacable. I look at non binary as a valid gender identity (also might be bias because I am non binary), whereas my mother thinks of it as confusion, lack of masuline or feminine figures from early life stages.

I also finally started to understand that I, as a person, have an innate right to be me. I have a right to stim when stressed, I have a right to decide myself what helps me regulate and when I need it, and I have a right to voice my discomfort with people, situations, feelings. I have a right to be angry, upset, sensitive, sad, offended, excited, nervous. I have a right to be me. After understanding what masking means, and that I have been taught to highly mask who I am, I realised that I'm not just being sensitive, or childish, or rude even. I have been traumatised from masking, pushing myself too far. I'm burnt out from having to consider everyone else's comfort above my own; to shield my mother from stress caused by me; to respect my brother's privacy and toys and not get angry whenever he didn't towards me; to stop complaining about my bullies at school; to stop being 'boring'; to not get upset if someone overstepped boundaries; to not get so angry if my fork or spoon was dirty and I had to use something else. Sure, some of these have actually been reasonable in some cases, but for the most part, I have only been me.

The fact that I had to start this journey by myself, against literally everyone's opinion, is so stressful to think about. When I first figured out I was depressed, my mother said I was overreacting. When I realised I had social anxiety, I was told to not self diagnose. When I first suspected ADHD when I was 15, I was told, again, to stop self diagnosing online, and that the fact that I scored like 80% on multiple self tests over a prolonged period didn't matter because the internet lies and all of these things are normal. Then in 2021 I started to get spammed with autistic experiences across all platforms, I decided to ignore it all because I'm only self diagnosing and overreacting again. It didn't matter that I related to every single thing I heard, it's normal. Everybody feels this way at one point or another. ADHD is climbing walls, autism is being retarded and throwing tantrums, anxiety is isolating one self at all times, depression is just being sad. In 2018 my therapist literally said, and I quote, "Depression and anxiety are just symptoms. They're nothing to worry about, it's not dangerous," and then proceeded to advance on me. He wanted me to go, alone, to the mall at the most busy day of the week to "expose myself". This was our first session. Needless to say, by the time he wanted this to happen, I was no longer his patient. We had three sessions total.

Before getting diagnosed, I had six psychologists, two social workers, nearly twenty school nurses (yes, nurses; not visits), a handful of friends (four, to be exact) who disappeared and got replaced, one parent, a long history of physical, verbal and emotional abuse both at home and at school, from my age and adults, extremely isolated, chronically online from the ripe age of 8 (around 2010), extraordinary IQ for my age to quote my first ever nurse, nearly 50% absence each year which worsened year by year, dangerously high empathy to the point I literally attempted suicide from someone else's feelings, great grades despite no homework and constant daydreaming, abnormal sense for languages and music, not once a normal or healthy eating habit, and much more. No one ever even suspected autism. I was never the stereotypical hyper kid, so I don't necessarily blame anyone for missing ADHD.

I can understand my mom not catching on considering her level of stress, and pure lack of information, but from the insane amount of healthworkers I've been in contact with? For twenty years no one ever took me seriously. I had to have an unhealthy long list of reasons I thought I had autism, traits I related to, every psychologist I'd ever been to, why I started going to them, what we did and talked about, why we stopped, how helpful I found our sessions, and even proof of why I wasn't just traumatized. I tried to see an ADHD specialist in 2021, to which, by the way, my doctor advised me against because I can't tell anyone I suspect ADHD since no one will take me seriously. I was denied even an interview because they deducted I, literally quoting, had daddy issues. When I wrote a letter complaining about their lack of professionalism and why I meant they should at least get me an interview, they replied saying I hadn't asked for this to go to their superiors so my case was officially closed. I never tried again because I was so sick of not being taken seriously. In 2022, my doctor figured I needed more professional help. He referred me to another psychologist. They never got back to me, so the national backup plan reached out and set an interview with me where I told them about my mental health situation, my history in the field, why I was referred and what I expected from them. I was then forgotten for half a year until my school nurse at the time helped me call them back and sort things out. The next week I had my first session with a private psychiatrist. Within a month, I was diagnosed with autism, the next 7 months were mapping out my traits and symptoms as well as regularly filling out a form of ADHD based statements to see if it was just a mood or a consistant topic, in November I was diagnosed with ADHD and for the next three months we experimented with medicine. I wound up hallucinating from all of them, and by March 1st this year (2024) we were done. One year with her lead me to two long expected diagnoses, one new medication and a new outlook and perspective on my life and health. With these, I've now started the process of being permanently unemployed with benefits.

If one person, at any point in my life, didn't view me as a victim and rather a whole person, I could've avoided so much stress and unnecassary burn out. I could've already been in a much better place, but instead I'm still trying to piece together the puzzle of myself and how I can best get the help I need and proceed with my life as disabled. I have five unfinished years of upper secondary (college for y'all Americans). I could've only gone through one and been better off, but to be able to get to where I am today, I *had* to go through the dehumanizing struggles and depressive episodes. I had to be completely torn to shreds to the point I almost got diagnosed with psychosis from the permanently damaging stress from school. I had to fail five years and drop out from exhaustion and reaking of failure to have my primary doctor take me seriously. I had to have a social worker with me for him to see that all the trauma I've been through, has, in fact, settled in my body, so he could finally give me reassurance through the Fibromyalgia diagnosis in May 2022. I had to be seen as batshit crazy. I had to prove to tenfolds of professional health workers that I do think there's something not working the way society wants me to work. I had to be persistent all my life for anyone to think that maybe I do have a point. And you know the most heartbreaking fact about all of this? I'm not the oldest going through this. There are people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 80s finally being taken seriously and looked upon as human. There are well grown adults, even elders, finally understanding why they have been ostracized, dehumanized, exhausted, stressed, in pain all their lives. My mother, who turns 60 next year, only found out through me being diagnosed, that maybe she too has ADHD. This would explain so much of her struggles, both from herself and from society. The expectations put are inhumane and nearly impossible to hold up, and they keep getting worse.

To be a genZ and see older generations belittle us for speaking up and saying enough is enough is so enraging. Being called sensitive for not tolerating racist jokes, sexist remarks, priveleged behaviours, or inhumane political opinions just goes to show that humanity has failed as a species, and we *need* to change that.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talks. As a final statement, I'd like to speak on behalf of all autistics across the world with this; do not comment "is (he/she/they/it) accoustic?" if you, yourself, are not on the autism spectrum. It is so incredibly rude and disrespectful, and if you get angry whenever someone tells you so, you are the problem. Also, Asperger's is offensive. It's autism. Thank you, Goodnight.

12 notes · View notes

oceannote · 4 months ago

Text

EMPIRE WAR - Chapter 1

Note from author: OMGGGGG first chapter is here, I am so excited for your guys to read through this. I really do enjoy the whole process of discovering the characters as we go into it the story. The writing style is mostly from the first main person point of view, so we can experience things in a more raw and authentic way. HOPE YOU WILL ENJOY LOVELIES XoXo YK Summary: Living the life as a corporate CFO is never easy but for Amelia things can go from 1 to 100 real quick when drunk confessions turn into sentimental revelations to pregnancy announcements and old crushes brought to life. Warnings: Characthers are fake and are a result of fiction, mentions of bullying and lack of self confidence. Do not copy, translate or remake story. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My favorite part of any workday is stepping through the oversized glass doors of the Wonder Technologies building and peeling out of the parking lot, blasting my favorite girly podcasts in the car my dad paid off. But it’s 6:30 AM on a gloomy Monday, and instead of freedom, I’m staring down the barrel of another workweek. A few stubborn rays of sunlight stab at my eyes, making me question every life choice that led me to this corporate hellscape.

I squint at the ceiling, silently cursing my past self for leaving the blinds open. My slippers are half-buried under a pile of rejected outfits from last week—evidence of my endless battle against business casual. I shuffle to the bathroom, too tired to bother with the lights, and start my morning routine in zombie mode.

Mondays at Wonder Technologies are like opening Pandora’s box, if Pandora were an overworked CFO with a caffeine dependency. Every catastrophe that could possibly ignite over the weekend is waiting for me at the office. Because, naturally, the moment I proved myself competent enough to my dad, Thomas, to take on the CFO role, he decided to “step back” and “enjoy life.” Translation: He bailed, leaving me to juggle the flaming swords of corporate chaos. And since he didn’t want the word “nepotism” whispered behind our backs, he kept me at CFO instead of CEO—just enough to appease the critics but still put me squarely in the hot seat.

I throw on black suit trousers, a cropped blazer, and a fitted black top, trying to channel “intimidating boss” energy. I dig through my closet until I find my white Jimmy Choos—the kind of shoes that say, “I’m professional,” but also, “My dad’s AMEX cries itself to sleep.”

Just as I pop a coffee pod into the machine, my phone buzzes. Nori. Right on schedule for her Monday morning TED Talk.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of this ungodly early call, Miss Kim Nori?” I say, already rummaging through the fridge for a breakfast that doesn’t exist.

“Okay, so I’m driving to the clinic, and I just had the best idea ever. But I need your input.” Her voice is barely audible over the symphony of car horns. Nori’s idea of a morning commute is apparently a Fast & Furious audition.

“Can we have a calm conversation just once, or is that against your religion?”

“Amelia, focus. It’s about the launch party for my new laser device. I need you there for extra publicity.”

Ah, yes. I see where this is going. Nori, married to Taehyung—aka Jungkook’s best friend—owns a skincare line and clinic, partially funded by KK Electronics. A lovely wedding gift from Jeon Jungkook himself. What she’s asking for isn’t a cute little photo op. No, this is Kim Nori we’re talking about. She wants me at a 300-person extravaganza at a hotel so luxurious even the toilets probably have a college degree. And, of course, standing side by side with my long-time friend turned nemesis.

“Absolutely not. I’d rather spoon-feed Yoongi ghost pepper hot sauce while he’s asleep.”

Nori lets out a sigh that could probably be heard from space. “Amelia, you need to bury the hatchet with Jungkook. It’s mostly one-sided, you know. The man doesn’t even realize you still hold a grudge.”

“That’s because he’s too busy running his empire, buying clinics, and ruining my mornings with his exaggerated requests.”

As I shut my garage door and slide into my car, Nori shifts into therapist mode. She’s convinced that my getting along with Jungkook is the final piece in our friend group’s puzzle, as if a group hug and a few awkward selfies could solve years of resentment.

“Look, I love you, but I don’t have time for this. I’ll send someone to take photos, but I’m not standing in the same room as that man and pretending we’re characters in a cheesy holiday movie. Plus, I am not even an investor for the party.”

Finally, a moment of silence. I pull into the office garage, ready to face the day. But the universe has other plans. Someone knocks on my window, making me nearly drop my phone.

“What the hell?!” I snap, only to see Jimin grinning at me, his hand extended like some knight of chivalry.

“Just being a gentleman to the best boss in the world,” he says, that mischievous glint in his eye.

Jimin is a sweetheart—at least at work. Outside the office, he’s still Jungkook’s best friend, which is like being friends with both the angel on your shoulder and the devil whispering bad ideas into your ear. How did he land a job at my company? Well, they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer. My dad offered him a sweet deal and slapped an ironclad NDA on it, securing not just Jimin’s talents but also his Rolodex of powerful business contacts.

We walk toward the elevator, his stare practically drilling into my back.

“What?” I sigh. “You’re looking at me like I’m a KPI board you need to analyze.”

“Jungkook is here,” he says, and my finger nearly jams the elevator button through the panel.

“Excuse me?”

I see Jungkook enough—more than enough, actually. But always in formal settings where I can fake smile, deliver a handshake, and flee before my sanity evaporates. Never on a random Monday morning. And definitely not without a heads-up from one of his meticulously styled assistants.

“He’s here to talk about the Mediline event. Taehyung practically begged him to coordinate it with you. So if I may ask, please just do not create a scene this early on a Monday morning.”

Of course. Tell Nori no, and she calls in the big guns. This is why the word “no” doesn’t exist in her dictionary.

“Jimin, I’m begging you—please go instead. I’ll bribe you. I’ll buy you lunch. I’ll cover for you if you accidentally set the break room microwave on fire again. ”

But before I can finish, I hear it. That chuckle. The one that still makes my skin crawl.

Jungkook steps into view, all perfectly tailored suit and infuriating confidence. “Good morning, Amelia. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

And just like that, my Monday officially descends into chaos.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Such an emotional plea from someone with so much power,” Jungkook drawls, lounging in front of the open elevator doors like this is a soap opera and he's the villain with perfect hair. “Easy, Amelia. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had personal biases against your employees. Wouldn’t want that to trickle down to HR, would we?”

“You can kiss my ass,” I mutter, brushing past him toward my office. Jimin hurries after me, his eyes wide like he’s just seen a live grenade.

Of course, Jungkook follows us in, dragging his signature smugness behind him like a designer coat.

“I know I have no right to be here,” he starts.

“Yes, Jungkook, you don’t,” I snap, yanking open a drawer just to slam it shut again for dramatic effect. “Especially unattended on my floor. How do I know you haven’t been snooping for confidential information?”

He leans against my desk, all infuriatingly casual. “Unless you’ve got nudes stashed in there, I doubt there’s anything of value for me.”

The audacity. I nearly knock over my stapler with sheer rage.

“To save us both time, let’s cut to the chase—I’m not going to the event with you.”

“Yes, you are.”

The sheer arrogance makes my blood pressure spike. I march to the door, throwing it open so hard it bounces off the wall. “Always a pleasure, Jungkook. Don’t let it hit you on the way out.”

He doesn’t move. Instead, he nods at Jimin, who gives me a sheepish look before slipping out and—oh, did he just wink at Jungkook? Traitor.

“Why do we always have these petty arguments?” Jungkook asks, his voice adopting that faux-soft tone that makes me want to throw something. “Aren’t we better than this? We’ve been friends for so long, yet every year, you’re more confusing than the last season of a mystery show.”

“Oh, shut up. You sound just like my dad.”

He chuckles, and for a brief, horrifying second, it almost sounds genuine. “Taehyung and Nori really want you there. It’s important to them.”

“I see her every week. I’ll pass.”

Jungkook’s expression hardens, the playfulness draining out of him. “For fuck’s sake, Amelia, Nori is pregnant. She wants to announce it tonight, and she’d like if her freaking best friend would be there.”

The room plunges into silence. My mind stutters to a halt.

“You’re lying. How would you know out of all the people in the world.”

“I swear.” His tone is deadly serious. “Taehyung told me because he knew I needed a good ass excuse to go as well. Nori doesn’t even know I’m telling you so please keep the element of surprise for her.”

A knot forms in my throat. Nori—pregnant? And Jungkook, of all people, knew before me? Before coffee, before 10 a.m.? That’s practically a war crime.

He tilts his head, his voice softer now. “So, can I pick you up at six?”

I hesitate, my grip on the desk turning my knuckles white. My computer screen is still blank, reflecting my own bewildered expression. “I’ll drive myself. I won’t stay long.”

He smirks, victory written all over his annoyingly perfect face. “Suit yourself, Miss Richardson. But be on time.”

And with that, he turns on his heel and walks out, leaving me breathless—and, unfortunately, with nothing to throw at his retreating back.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“The fact that he had the absolute nerve to waltz in here and boss you around like you’re not his best friend is wild to me,” I say to Jimin, my mouth half full of fries. “What are you, his minion from nine to five and his bro from five to nine? Does he hand you a friendship bracelet when the workday’s over?”

Jimin, Yuna, Yoongi, and Aurora always invade my office for lunch. It’s our daily debrief session—a sacred ritual of spilling tea and dragging our coworkers through the mud. By “debrief,” I mostly mean Jimin, Aurora, and me talking enough smack to fill a reality show while Yuna and Yoongi play our silent, judgmental Greek chorus.

“It’s not that deep, Amelia,” Jimin mumbles, his voice muffled by a mouthful of burger. Yuna, ever the caretaker, plucks breadcrumbs off his white shirt like he’s her overgrown child. “We’ve known each other for over ten years. It’s just a little power play now and then.”

“Oh, so Mr. Jeon will be chauffeuring you around tonight?” Aurora wiggles her eyebrows at me. Yoongi, who is apparently paid by the universe to witness my embarrassment, snorts into his drink.

“Babe, the only way Amelia’s getting in his car is if she’s blackout drunk and wants to take things up a notch again.” Yoongi smirks. “Or did the tides shift? Are we into Jungkook now?”

“Eat your burger and shut up, Yoongi,” Jimin snaps, launching his napkin at him. Yoongi dodges it, still grinning like a menace.

Unfortunately for me, my tragic confession to Jungkook isn’t just old news—it’s an entire historical exhibit. Alcohol betrayed me that night, and now everyone knows. Worse, it’s also no secret that ever since I survived the hormonal apocalypse of college, Jungkook’s been staring at me a little too long for just a friend. Which means conversations like this are basically open season for sly remarks.

“Wow, love the unwavering support during my lunch break,” I say, pushing back my chair. “But if you’d all like to keep getting your fat paychecks, I need to get back to work.”

The four of them shuffle out, but I catch Aurora lingering by the door, arms crossed and eyes narrowed.

“You okay?” she asks. “You look like you just swallowed a state secret.”

I laugh, mostly because she sees right through me. The five of us are practically a family, but Aurora? She’s like the overly observant mom who always knows when you’re hiding something. Keeping a secret from her is like trying to smuggle a giraffe through airport security.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, bracing for impact. “I shouldn't be telling you this because I am not even supposed to know but, Nori’s pregnant.”

Her eyes widen. “You’re lying.” Then, louder, “You’re LYING! When did this happen?”

“Jungkook told me,” I say, exhaling. “And our best friend—the same woman who swore she wouldn’t have kids until she was forty-five and had Botox strong enough to paralyze a bear—is having a baby.”

Aurora blinks. “And how does Jungkook know this before the rest of us?”

“Taehyung’s big mouth.”

Her stare turns sharp, and I know exactly where this is going. She’s about to turn this into one of her epic, twisted love stories where Jungkook and I are destined to be together. She always does. She’s the captain of the S.S. Jungkook-and-Amelia, sailing straight into the storm of my love life.

The sad truth? Twenty-two-year-old Amelia would’ve bought a first-class ticket on that ship. She would’ve cried into Aurora’s shoulder, dreamed of Jungkook showing up at her door with a bouquet and a speech straight out of a rom-com.

But now? Now I’m older, wiser, and painfully aware that life is not a K-drama. The only change between me and Jungkook is that I’ve gone from avoiding him out of sheer embarrassment to tolerating his presence in board meetings. I smile for company photos, act civil, and pretend my feelings were just a college glitch.

Other than that? Nothing’s changed.

He’s still a stone-cold workaholic with a jawline sharp enough to cut glass.

And I’m still a sarcastic, emotionally constipated woman who treats banter like it’s full-body armor.

Aurora tilts her head, her expression gentle but dangerous. “You never know. Look at Nori—she never wanted kids, and now she’s expecting. I never thought I’d end up dating Yoongi. And you and Jung—”

“Abort mission, Aurora.” I groan. “I get it. I’ll go to that event with him, I’ll smile for the cameras, and then I’ll go home and rewatch bad reality TV until my faith in humanity is fully destroyed.”

She opens her mouth to say something else, but I hold up a hand.

“Just because our best friend got knocked up doesn’t mean the universe is shifting backwards, Aurora.”

But as I say it, I can’t help but wonder.

Or does it?

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The only sound in the garage is the rhythmic clack of my heels against the cement—soothing yet eerily unsettling at the same time. With my eyes glued to Instagram, mindlessly scrolling, I completely miss the muscular figure leaning against my sleek black BMW, waiting patiently for me to acknowledge him.

That is, until I finally look up—and nearly jump out of my skin. My binder goes flying, scattering papers everywhere.

“What the hell, Jungkook? I thought you were some kind of creep!” I snap, clutching my chest as if that’ll stop my heart from hammering.

He doesn’t even flinch. Instead, he casually bends down, gathering my scattered files, looking completely unbothered. “Maybe if you took your eyes off that damn phone once in a while, this wouldn’t happen.” He hands me the files, his gaze dropping pointedly to my car keys. “Come on, let’s go. Traffic’s insane at this hour.”

“I told you—I’m driving myself. That means I take my car, and you take yours.” I unlock the car, brushing past him to slide into the driver’s seat. I fully expect that by the time I start the engine, he’ll be out of my sight.

Oh, how wrong I am.

Just as I buckle my seatbelt, the passenger-side door swings open, and Jungkook slides in, bringing with him the intoxicating scent of his musky cologne.

“I usually drive, but I don’t mind being chauffeured for a change, Miss Richardson.” He smirks as he fastens his seatbelt, eyes dancing with amusement.

I exhale sharply. “Are we really doing this right now? Like, really, Jungkook?” My tone is as annoyed as I want him to perceive it, but his next move throws me completely off balance.

Without hesitation, he reaches over, starts my car, and—while still in the passenger seat—puts it in reverse, backing us out of the parking spot.

“You know,” he muses, completely unfazed, “I’d be happy to drive for you, but unless we swap seats or you sit in my lap, this isn’t gonna work, Amelia.” His voice drops just slightly at the end, my name rolling off his tongue with deliberate ease.

I mentally curse myself for the way my body shivers at the smallest things he does.

I force my focus back on the road. “So, Jungkook, anything else I should be aware of before we get there? Any new babies, any deaths, any weddings? Since you seem to have the inside scoop on my friends these days.”

“Said friend is married to my best friend, Amelia.” Touché, Jeon.

“I just never expected to hear about this pregnancy from you, that’s all.” I try to keep my eyes on the road, but I can’t resist sneaking a glance at him.

“I get that,” he says, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “But it wasn’t personal, Amelia. You’re my friend. I’d never hurt you on purpose.”

A loud, sarcastic laugh escapes my lips before I can stop it. His brows knit together.

“What?” he asks, genuinely confused. “Did I say something funny?”

“No, just… big words coming from you.”

I sense his body shift beside me, and I know if I turn my head, I’ll see his confused expression.

“Well, that’s a low blow.”

Tick, tick, Amelia. Don’t explode. Tick, tick. Don’t let him get to you.

“You have to be kidding me,” I scoff. And there it is. “How long are you planning to play this ‘we are besties’ act?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” His voice goes up an octave, clearly caught off guard.

I narrow my eyes. “Jungkook, you were never the nice guy. Or am I supposed to believe that ‘nice guys’ laugh in people’s faces when they confess their feelings? And what is up with you trying to be my friend after the last past years where we have been keeping each other in corporate terms only and pre-approved meetings.”

His jaw tightens and his torso fully turns towards me. “Oh my god, Amelia. Are you still stuck on that? That was, like, four years ago! We were practically kids.”

His dramatic eye roll makes me want to slam on the brakes and watch his head smack against the dashboard. But my car is too nice for that, so I settle for gripping the wheel tighter instead.

“Of course I’m still stuck on it. You hurt my feelings, and you never apologized. And then went back to being my ‘friend’ like nothing ever happened”

Jungkook exhales, shaking his head. “Well, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to h—”

“You’re what?” I interrupt, needing to hear it again. In seven years of knowing him, this is the first time those words have ever left his mouth.

His voice drops, and for the briefest moment, something flickers in his eyes—something too quick for me to catch. “I’m sorry, Amelia. I was a hormonal, drunk teenager who was only interested in getting shitface drunk and playing videogames. I didn’t mean to hurt you; you were one of my closest friends.”

I park the car in front of the hotel entrance, letting his words settle. “Well, that was easy,” I mutter, mostly to myself.

Jungkook shifts in his seat. “Hey, uh… can I ask you a favor?” His eyes stay fixed on the hotel entrance.

I scoff. “Just because you apologized doesn’t mean we’re besties now, Jungkook.”

“Good,” he says smoothly. “That wasn’t my plan with you anyway.” A strange knot forms in my stomach. Not now, Amelia.

He exhales. “Can you stick by me tonight? A lot of investors will be there, and I… I don’t really know much about this company. I just fund it through Taehyung. I’d rather not look like a total idiot, I’m here to represent the company.”

If it isn’t Mr. Know-It-All finally asking for help.

“Fine,” I say, pushing open my door. “But don’t try to hold my hand if you get scared.”

I slam the door shut before he can respond. —---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To say the place was packed would be a colossal understatement. The room was overflowing with people zigzagging left and right, talking about everything from the stock market to their dog's gluten-free diet, all while casually flashing their watches and diamonds as if they were party favors.

You’d think that an event launching a wrinkle-preventing device would attract doctors, dermatologists, and maybe a couple of Botox enthusiasts. But this was a Kim-hosted, KK Electronics-funded soirée, which meant business casual was out and "look-at-my-net-worth" was in. Here, dressing to impress wasn’t just encouraged—it was practically a survival tactic. The whole event felt like a glorified appraisal fair, where people weren’t so much mingling as they were calculating each other's market value.

Meanwhile, Jungkook had taken the “stick close” instruction far too literally. Every step I took, his minty breath breezed down my neck like I was a piece of gum he was ready to chew.

“I’m going to need you to take a step back because I can feel your greased-up black shoes polishing my pearl-white Jimmy Choos,” I hissed over my shoulder. My reward? His chest colliding with my face as he took another overzealous step forward.

“Oops. Didn’t realize we were making a pit stop.” He chuckled, covering his mouth as if to muffle the sound, but his wide eyes betrayed his amusement.

From the edge of the room, I spotted Taehyung dragging Nori toward us. They were both decked out in nude tones to match the new product line, looking like Pinterest models for "Beige Aesthetic." My first thought? She’s pregnant. My second thought? I’ve thought it so much I’m practically manifesting a baby bump into her silk dress.

“Here you are!” Nori squealed, pulling me into a hug so tight I thought I heard a rib pop.

“Did you two come together, or is this just fate being creepy?” Taehyung’s eyes bounced between us, his grin too wide for comfort. Jungkook shot him a look—the classic “don’t push it” glare.

“So, where do I take the mandatory photos, and when can I disappear?” I whispered to Nori, only to be rewarded with a slap to my arm.

“Be nice, Amelia! I have a big announcement tonight, and I really need you here.”

Of course, you do. You’re pregnant. And you told my archnemesis before you told me. I wanted to say this but settled for a smile so tight my cheeks ached.

Two hours and four-too-full glasses of wine later, I was laughing with two older gentlemen who had clearly set their GPS coordinates to my cleavage. Their jokes were vintage misogyny—charming if you were into the 1950s vibe, which I wasn’t.

And then, like a hero in an overpriced suit, Jungkook appeared, sliding in between us. His hands landed on their shoulders, his grin sharp enough to cut glass.

“Gentlemen, I see you’ve been charming my business partner. I’m starting to worry I’ll lose my shares for the night.”

Shares? Was he calling me stock?

The men burst into laughter as if Jungkook had just delivered the punchline of the century. They excused themselves, leaving me with the room’s resident buffoon.

“That was quite a comment, Jungkook. Afraid I’d snag more partners for the fundraiser?” I handed him a glass of wine from a passing waiter, hoping he’d choke on it.

“Not at all. In fact, I did you a favor. Those two were seconds away from diving headfirst into your bra.” His tone was light, but if the music hadn’t been so loud, I’d swear I heard a whisper of jealousy.

I arched a brow. “So, now that we’re apparently besties, what’s on your agenda tonight?”

“You’re really making small talk?” He laughed, his white teeth practically glowing against the red wine.

Jungkook swirled his glass, watching the crimson liquid coat the sides. “Honestly? I’ll probably go home and watch a movie. This Monday is too packed for my taste.”

Blame it on the wine or on the dwindling rationality in my brain, but before I could stop myself, I said, “We should watch one together. Like old times.”

His glass paused mid-air, and for a second, he looked like I’d suggested we rob a bank together.

I kept talking because my brain had completely lost control of my mouth. “I mean, we’re trying to be civil, right? Bury the hatchet and all that.” I squinted at him. “Unless you’d prefer being a hermit all night.”

He smirked, eyes twinkling. “Are you drunk?”

“No,” I lied, my tongue heavy, the word stumbling out.

“You just invited your sworn enemy to a movie night. If that’s not wine-induced goodwill, I don’t know what is.”

Before I could respond, the unmistakable clink of a spoon against glass cut through the chatter.

At the center of the room, Taehyung and Nori stood beneath the chandelier’s golden glow. Nori’s smile was so bright I half expected a halo to appear, while Taehyung looked like he’d won the lottery.

“First of all, thank you all for being here,” Taehyung’s voice filled the room. “We’re so grateful to celebrate this launch with all of you. But before you get too cozy with your wine, we have another reason to celebrate.”

The crowd hushed, anticipation thick in the air.

“We’re having a baby!” Nori announced, her joy lighting up the room.

Cheers erupted, and glasses clinked, but the sound barely registered. I just stood there, my mind spiraling into the past, every laugh and whispered secret between us twisting into something sharp and painful.

And next to me, Jungkook—my too-close shadow for the night—stood still, his expression unreadable, as if the room’s golden glow couldn’t quite reach him. —----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I met Nori during my freshman year of college, back when life felt like I’d been dropped into the middle of a chaotic, coming-of-age indie movie—except no one had handed me a script. Back when Jungkook and I were still “just friends,” and I was quietly harboring a deep, deep obsession for him. You know, the kind where you rehearse imaginary conversations in the shower and stare at his Instagram like it holds the secrets of the universe.

Nori was the exact opposite of my chaotic energy. I first saw her sitting alone at the campus café, sipping a matcha latte like a serene, Pinterest-worthy study influencer. She was highlighting her notes in not one, not two, but four different colors, while I had just baptized my own notes in a grande caramel macchiato.

I stood there, dripping coffee and dignity, when she looked up at me with the kind of exasperated sigh usually reserved for sitcom moms. “Come sit,” she said, shoving a stack of pristine paper toward me. “I have extra.”

And just like that, Nori adopted me.

We were an odd duo—her with her color-coded planners and spreadsheet budgets, and me, a human tornado in yesterday’s hoodie, thriving on impulse decisions and questionable choices. But it worked.

We crammed for exams in the library until 3 a.m., fueled by caffeine and pure panic. We took road trips with nothing but gas station snacks and a broken GPS that seemed hell-bent on taking us to the middle of nowhere. We sat on rooftops under the stars, swearing we’d never settle down. We’d be those fearless, globe-trotting career women who’d send postcards instead of baby shower invites.

Nori was the queen of these vows. “I’m not having kids until I’m forty-five,” she’d say, waving a breadstick like a gavel. “And by then, I’ll be too busy Botoxing my face and throwing yacht parties.”

So imagine my shock when, today, Nori showed up at my door, eyes shining, belly round, announcing her pregnancy with a smile so wide it could split the world in half.

Time had apparently hit fast-forward while I was still stuck on pause. I stood there, blinking, half-expecting to look around and find us back in that café—her with her matcha latte, me with coffee-soaked notes, and a universe where nothing had changed at all.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You okay?”

Jungkook’s voice pulls me back to the present. He’s watching me carefully, as if he knows exactly what I’m thinking.

I exhale slowly, forcing a smile. “Yeah. Just… processing.Quite the news for the night.”

Because if Nori—of all people—could change, what else was possible?

And why, suddenly, did the idea of watching a movie with Jungkook feel like less of a mistake?

The applause is deafening, glasses clinking as people toast to Taehyung and Nori’s announcement. My smile stays in place as I watch my best friend bask in the glow of congratulations, but deep down, something uneasy tugs at my chest. I should be nothing but happy for her—hell, I am happy for her—but there’s this nagging feeling, this voice in the back of my head whispering that things are shifting too quickly and that I might be left behind in the whirlwind of change.

Pushing those thoughts aside, I weave through the crowd, squeezing past men in perfectly tailored suits and women dripping in diamonds, finally reaching Nori just as she’s finishing up a conversation with an investor.

“Amelia!” She turns, her face lighting up as she immediately throws her arms around me. The force of her hug nearly knocks the wind out of me, but I hold on just as tightly.

I breathe her in, taking comfort in the familiarity. “I’m so happy for you,” I whisper into her shoulder, my throat tightening. “You’re going to be an incredible mom.”

Nori pulls back slightly, her eyes shining. “God, I hope so. I still can’t believe this is real.” She places a hand over her stomach, and I watch the tenderness in her expression, my heart swelling and breaking at the same time.

I clear my throat, forcing a playful smirk. “Well, considering how much Taehyung babies you already, I think you’re in good hands.”

She laughs, shaking her head. “Tell me about it. He won’t even let me lift a purse without panicking.”

We share a quiet chuckle, but before the moment passes, something else crosses my mind. I glance around the crowded room, noticing the absence of some very familiar faces. Some that should have been there without question.

“Hey, where are the other girls?” I ask, shifting my weight. “Yuna? Aurora? Hayeon? Did they just flake on a free champagne event, or was there a very exclusive guest list I wasn’t aware of? I would expect you to want your other best friends here as well."

Nori’s smile falters slightly, a flicker of guilt flashing across her face. She exhales, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I feel horrible about it, Amelia. But this event—it was mostly about catching the attention of the right people. The funders, the investors. I had to keep it small, mainly with people who could… contribute.”

I try to mask the sting, but my voice betrays me. “So, what? They didn’t make the cut?”

Her eyes widen. “No! No, Amelia, it’s not like that. You guys are my family. I just—I had to do this first, the way Taehyung and I planned. But I swear I’ll make it up to you. We’ll have a proper celebration. Just us, the way it should be. Not business related.”

I stare at her for a long moment, wanting to believe every word. I know she means it—I know she does—but that lingering voice in my head keeps whispering that this is just the beginning of a widening gap. Highlighting again how far away and out of touch I feel with the few people that felt like family.

I swallow down the lump forming in my throat and force a small smile. “Yeah. Of course. I get it.”

She squeezes my hands, searching my face. “Are you sure?”

I nod. “Positive.”

Jungkook appears at my side then, his presence unexpectedly grounding. “Ready to go? I have my driver outside and I can drop you off.”

Grateful for the exit, I nod quickly. “Yeah. Nori, congratulations again. We’ll talk later. I really do not feel that well and I have an early morning tomorrow.”

She gives me one last lingering look, and for a second, I think she sees through me. But she lets me go, and I don’t look back.

Jungkook holds the door open for me, and as we step into the cool night air, I finally exhale, my breath clouding in front of me.

“Rough night, huh?” he asks, his voice warm and gentle.

I snort, the sound more broken than I intended. “You have no idea.”

He chuckles, and it’s like a safety net catching me before I fall too far. “Well, lucky for you, my movie collection is extensive, and my popcorn-making skills are legendary.”

And suddenly, the idea of escaping into a movie with him doesn’t feel like running away—it feels like pressing pause. And maybe, just maybe, that’s exactly what I need.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The drive-back is mostly quiet, except for the occasional hum of the radio and the city lights flashing by in a blur. My head feels heavy, both from the wine and the weight of my thoughts. Jungkook is unusually silent too, drumming his fingers against the armrest as his driver maneuvers through the streets, since we are too drunk to get behind the wheel.

I keep my eyes on the passing buildings, trying to hold myself together, but the emotions I’ve been suppressing all night finally catch up to me. Before I even realize what’s happening, my breath hitches, and a choked sob escapes.

Jungkook stiffens instantly. “Amelia?”

I shake my head, swiping my eyes furiously. “God, I don’t even know why I’m crying. This is so stupid. I am so sorry.”

He doesn’t say anything right away; he just signals his driver to lower the music and waits.

I exhale shakily, trying to steady myself. “I just—. Omg this is so stupid and dramatic of me.” A bitter laugh bubbles up from my throat. “I feel like I’m losing my friends. Like everyone’s moving on to these big relationships and announcements, important things, and I’m just… I am literally the only single person in our group of friends that has not personal life whatsoever.” I trail off, my voice breaking.

Jungkook keeps his eyes on the road, his grip on the armrest tightening slightly.

I inhale sharply, my chest constricting. “And what if that happens to all of us? What if I wake up one day and realize I’m the only one still holding onto the past? What if I’m not good enough to keep up?What if all my friends go on and live their life and build something more than just a stupid, clean resume for themselves and a nice office and ig title on a glass wall?”

The silence stretches between us, and for a moment, I regret saying anything. But then—

“That’s bullshit.”

I blink, turning to him. “Excuse me?”

Jungkook exhales through his nose, shaking his head. “You think you’re the only one feeling like this? We’re all trying to figure things out, Amelia. We are all still so young. Just because things are changing doesn’t mean you’re being left behind. Everyone experiences things at their own pace.”

I sniffle, caught off guard by the sincerity in his voice. “It sure feels like it.”

He finally looks at me then, and his gaze is softer than I’ve ever seen it. “You’re one of the smartest, most capable people I know. You could be running your own company without one approval from your dad if you wanted to. And I get it that sometimes you feel like you loose touch of your personal life because we are surrounded by so much work, but we are young and we still have the time to fix that.”

I scoff, rolling my eyes. “Now you’re just trying to butter me up.”

He smirks, shaking his head. “Nah, if I was buttering you up, I’d compliment your manic driving skills, but we both know that would be a lie.”

A watery laugh escapes me before I can stop it. I wipe my eyes again, breathing out. “Thanks, Jungkook.”

He shrugs, glancing back at the road. “Anytime.”

The car pulls up in front of my apartment building, the engine humming softly as Jungkook shifts into seat. The street outside is quiet, only the occasional flicker of a streetlamp cutting through the darkness.

Jungkook leans back against his seat, running a hand through his hair before turning to me. “You good now?”

I let out a slow breath, nodding. “Yeah. Thanks for, uh… letting me have a moment.”

He smirks. “Anytime. I’ll add ‘designated emotional support’ to my clean résumé.”

I roll my eyes, but there’s no real bite behind it.

For a moment, we just sit there, neither of us moving. The air between us is different now—softer, less charged with the usual push and pull. It’s strange. Comfortable, even.

And before I can stop myself, the words slip out.

“Do you want to come up? I know I said that I was tired, but it would be nice to not go up to an empty apartment for now.”

Jungkook blinks, caught off guard. “Come up?”

I shift in my seat, suddenly feeling awkward. “Yeah. I mean… we could put on a movie or something. I make really good hot cocoa.”

He raises an eyebrow, amusement flickering in his dark eyes. “Hot cocoa?”

I cross my arms. “Yes, hot cocoa. Not everything has to be about alcohol, Jeon.”

Jungkook chuckles, tilting his head as if considering it. “Alright. But if your hot cocoa sucks, I’m never letting you live it down. I will have Jimin on speed dial to complain.”

I scoff, pushing the car door open. “Please. You’re about to have the best hot cocoa of your life.”

Jungkook steps out as well. “We’ll see about that.”

As we walk towards my building, a cool breeze rushes past us, but for some reason, I don’t feel cold. Maybe it’s the absurd amount of wine. Maybe it’s the unexpected warmth of Jungkook’s presence beside me after so many years.

Or maybe, just maybe, tonight isn’t ending the way I thought it would.

#bts jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook recs #jungkook scenarios #bts fanfic #bts #jungkook fanfic #bangtan sonyeondan #bts scenarios #taehyung #park jimin #kim namjoo #bts jin #bts hoseok scenario #yoongi

5 notes · View notes