#Bruce is smart yet dumb

[to-the-stars8]

The Waynes' Nanny

Batfamily and Reader/ Bruce Wayne x Reader Chapters Ao3

The Talk

 Mr. Wayne had been so stunned at what he had seen just a few minutes prior that it took him a whole ten minutes to get out what it was that had him so upset. When he first came into your room you were getting ready, makeup brush still in hand. You turned away from your vanity to look at him, drawing back to see how desperate he was. He looked like an elderly woman clutching his pearls. 

“What? What is it,” You hastily asked. 

“My boy—My little boy—had a girl in his room and they were kissing,” Bruce said exasperated. “He’s too young to be doing that!”

You furrowed your eyebrows, not yet concerned. “Which boy?”

“Dickie!”

“Ah, I see.” You turned back to your vanity to continue applying your makeup. 

Bruce didn’t seem pleased at all at your passiveness, telling you if this was your reaction then he might as well hire a new nanny. When you looked at him in the reflection in the mirror, giving him a quizzical brow, he quickly got quiet. With a sigh, you turned back to him and told him not to worry. 

“The boy is fifteen, I was doing quite a few things like that at his age—As, I’m sure, were you.” You got up to fold some of your clothes and Bruce had subconsciously started to help, only stopping when he accidentally picked up one of your bras. 

“No. No! He’s still too young. A girl, alone with him in his room—Doesn’t he know about teenage pregnancy?” 

You sputtered out a laugh, stopping once you saw Bruce’s serious face. “I’m sure you’ve had the birds and the bees talk with him, so don’t be worried. Dickie is a smart boy.”

“Well,” Bruce said awkwardly as he sat at your vanity. 

You turned to look at him, shocked that he hadn't spoken to Dick about intimacy. You could hardly believe it. Mr. Wayne was a smart man, there was no doubt about that at all, but, sometimes, he was too dumb for his own good. The boy needed to know these things so he wouldn’t mess up. Fix ignorance to avoid mistakes, you told him. He should have had the talk as soon as Dick had gotten old enough. 

“Go in there and talk to your son,” You said, shooing him away from your seat. “Tell him all about the birds and the bees.”

“But, I don’t…” You didn’t hear any of it, telling him to talk to his son again before closing the door in his face. 

That man was going to be the death of you. 

—

After you put Damian down for his midday nap, you went to see just how Bruce and Dick getting along.

It was not going well. 

When you found them Bruce was talking to Dick’s back trying to explain how things like sex should be handled, but the boy had put his hands over his ears while continuously saying that he didn’t want to talk about it. The moment Dick saw you he made his way over. 

“Tell him I want to stop talking about this.”

You took Dick into your arms, kissed his head before telling him to go back to his room while you spoke to his father. “He’s not my Dad,” Dick said before storming off. When you looked back up at Bruce, the hurt was evident on his face. Internally, you gave a heavy sigh. Now you had to deal with two sad boys. 

You went to Bruce and put one hand on his shoulder as the other gently lifted his chin to look at you. “You okay?”

He took a moment, eyes wide before he turned his head to clear his throat before looking at you again. Bruce finally stammered out, “Yes, it’s…It never stops hurting when they say that.”

Without thinking, you brought Bruce into a hug. You told him that it would be okay and that you would talk to Dickie. Reluctantly, he returned the gesture, patting your back awkwardly as he mumbled a thank you.

“Now,” You said, pulling away but your hands still held onto his arms. “Will you tell me what happened?”

“I already did.” He said almost defensively. 

You smiled at him knowingly, and he could see the laughter behind your eyes. For a moment he wondered how you were able to read him so well. For years he was able to rise above people’s expectations, but you seemed able to know him without even trying. Truthfully, he didn’t like it. 

Relenting, he told you exactly what had happened. He had barged into Dick’s room after Alfred had told him he had brought a girl over. Worried, Bruce decided to put an end to any mayhaps before they could happen. When he opened the door, he found Dick and the girl kissing—And that was all. Out of fright, he told the girl to get out and proceeded to scold Dick for doing such a thing. 

When he finished telling, Bruce expected you to yell or, at the very least, lightly scold him. Instead, you only sighed, which was so much worse. 

“Bruce,” You said, shaking your head. “Why did you go and do a thing like that? No wonder the boy is horrified! You embarrassed him.”

“I’m sorry,” He said, ashamed. 

You hit him lightly on the arm. “Don’t say it to me! Go say it to your kid.”

“You just heard what he said…”

“I did, but that shouldn’t stop you,” You insisted before continuing. “I’m going to comfort him, but you’re still his parent—No matter what he says.” With that, you turned on your heel and left the room. 

—

You had found the door to Dick’s room wedged open and him on his bed crying. Before you could say anything, he was already going on a rant about how much he hated Bruce and how nothing happened. You let him cry it out for a few minutes before telling him that it was okay. 

“I know that you’re embarrassed,” You said, pushing the black hair out of his blue eyes. “It’ll be okay, I promise.”

“He’s just jealous because Selina dumped his ass,” Dick cried into your shoulder. “And he probably hasn’t had a date since.”

You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing. You were definitely telling Alfred about this later. Bruce knocked on the open door, catching your attention and Dick’s. Before Dickie could tell Bruce to fuck off, you quickly told him to hear his father out. With a promise that you would do his laundry for the next week, Dick finally agreed. 

As you left the room, Bruce mumbled a low, “Thank you.” In turn, you told him not to fuck up again. 

Properly excusing yourself, you let the two of them talk it out whilst you attended to the other children. An hour later, as you set out lunch for the younger kids, you wondered if the talk was going well since neither of them came down for dinner. It wasn’t until after all the kids were settled down after dinner did you go try to find the two of them. Dick, when you found him, was reading comics in his room. 

When you had asked him how things went, he only responded with a bleak, “Fine.”

You decided it would be best to leave him with just that. He was more than likely still seething a little from the argument earlier—Or, it was just teenage angst. Both are very plausible and likely answers.

 Wanting a break, you returned to your room and sat on your bed with a long sigh of relief. Though, no sooner had you done that, was there a knock at the door. You told the person on the side to just come in, half-expecting it to be one of the kids. To your surprise, it was Bruce. 

“Oh, I wasn’t expecting you,” You said, not bothering to move, and gestured for him to sit at your vanity. 

Taking a seat, he awkwardly cleared his throat. “You know, this whole talk with Dick has made me realize something.”

Now, this was getting good. “Oh?”

Bruce nodded. “Yes, and, um, I’ve come to realize that you may be bringing people over…So, I…”

You got up, slowly striding over to him as you said, “Mr. Wayne, are you talking about me bringing men over to have sex in my room?”

Bruce looked up at you and suddenly felt helpless. “I—Uh, um, essentially so…I think, um…"

“I hope your talk with Dickie went better than this, Mr. Wayne,” You said, looking down at him. 

Bruce stood suddenly, trying to break the tension by walking to the other side of the room. Yet, even as he tried getting back on track, you managed to sway his attention elsewhere. Following him, you asked him again, “We’re talking about having sex in my room, right, Mr. Wayne?”

“No! Wait, no, yes!” He said, shaking his head.

“Mr. Wayne, you know I would never put the children in such a position,” You said, walking him towards your bedroom door. 

For the love of all things good, Bruce wished you would stop calling him that. Flustered, he tried to bring the conversation back to the topic again, but you weren’t having it. When you opened the door he stepped out. Once he was out into the hallway, he could think again. 

“Just…”

You tsked before shaking your head, leaning against the doorframe. “Mr. Wayne, you really shouldn’t be thinking about your employee in such a way. Didn’t Alfred teach you better?”

Before Bruce could say anything, you slammed the door shut, leaving him there with his mouth agape and mind now picturing you in all sorts of ways. Oh, you were absolute trouble.

[butcherlarry]

Weekly Fic Recs 73

This week's fic rec list!

The Soul Is An Idiot by impertinence - Bruclois(? Idk what the ship name is, it's Bruce, Clark, and Lois), wip. Holy shit, this fic has me and a bunch of my friends in other Discord servers by the THROAT. IT'S SO GOOD. Fantastic name of fic as well. Clark is dating Lois. Clark is dating Bruce. Bruce and Lois are not dating each other...yet. Everyone is so dumb and smart at the same time in this fic, I love it. So many shenanigans, and the tag "Sexualized Matches Malone" SENT me.

Patchwork Pod by KtKat9 @ktkat99 - Superbat, Batfam, Superfam, wip. More of the mer Bruce fic. Hey, quick question. Did anyone tell Tim he lost his spleen? Anyone at all? No one? Oh boy.

A Big Sweater by RenkonNairu @emperorsfoot - Superbat, complete. Omegaverse. Every omega has A Big Sweater™ they wear. Except Clark because they don't make them in his size :( Bruce fixes that :)

Am I The Asshole? by FabulaRasa - Batlantern, complete. Bruce help out Hal as he deals with a chronic disease. Feeling are developed.

Take Me Where I Cannot Stand by RenkonKairu - Superbat, Timkon, wip. A reverse Krypton survives AU where Krypton survives and Earth doesn't, and the Waynes are refugees who make it to Krypton.

Star Tied by Imagine_sleeping - Superbat, wip. An update to this fic where Kal-El is searching for his soulmate (Bruce).

integral by TheResurrectionist @frownyalfred - Superbat, complete. The Watchtower gets cursed so when the people on board fall asleep, they fall into a coma. The batfam is (unsurprisingly) good at dealing with sleep deprivation.

You had my curiosity, but now you have my attention by lizlybear @murphyhatesme - Superbat, complete. Lois and Clark break up when Lois can't deal with Clark's alien anatomy. Bruce rises to the challenge.

Happy reading!

[shewolf-sinclair]

I HATE when people dumb down Jason Todd “he’s impulsive/irrational/erratic/brash/dumb/the angry robin!”

WRONG

let me break it down for you fools because he’s actually like one of the most nuanced and complex characters to ever bless my presence (and he’s the best ((my fav)) robin argue with the wall) (tldr at the end but please read the post)

Starting out as robin they are ALL orphans. because that’s like bruce’s thing. BUT dick and tim had families before bruce adopted them. Jason did not. HE GREW UP ON THE STREETS. (+10 points for truama✨) which led him to grow up to be independent and resourceful. Bruce literally met him because he was trying to steal the bat mobiles tires with the intent of reverse engineering them to sell to the people of gotham because bullet proof tires in that kinda city would save lives source

As for being brash. Yeah. he is. he lacks people skills because HE GREW UP ON THE STREETS. yet he still knows how to sympathize with people and not be an ass ALL the time. he’s cocky sure but it’s a defensive mechanism after years of being treated like he doesn’t have value/having to prove himself. and damien is worse lets bsffr.

He’s impulsive. (likely adhd) Teenager. next question.

He’s the angriest robin! he only ever wants vengeance! WRONG. dick is angrier! he was so petty he left gotham and got a new identity just as a fuck you to bruce. any anger Jason has is not unmatched or outdone by other robins and he is rightfully angry he’s been dealt a crappy hand in life. he’s jealous of dick because bruce was ALWAYS comparing him and telling heroic stories of dicks feats. it’s hard not to push yourself to be as good as or better than the og and not to crack under said pressure.

He’s dumb! NOPE. he is as smart if not smarter than tim. He is BRILLIANT when he wants to be. (see above: resourceful) if you take titans (cw) as canon (why wouldn’t u its as canon as any other tv show??) he is a GENIUS. he taught himself chemistry so he could invent and mass produce drugs. he had a genius strategy to fuck with the titans; the puzzle of clues for which dick needed scarecrow, kory, gar, and conner to solve. Not to mention him finding doctor light earlier in the season. He leads the outlaws bc he is a natural leader and good at handling the details!!

He’s a villain! OKAY AND? SO WAS HARLEY BUT WE LUV HER !! DAMIEN WAS A TRAINED ASSASAIN! he puts so much effort into helping people (see above: resourceful) HE RISKED/LOST HIS LIFE FOR IT. HE IS FIERCELY LOYAL. even as red hood he obtains a strict moral code; no drugs to kids or by schools, don’t kill innocent uninvolved people(depends on which media you’re looking at). serve karma on a gold platter. unlawful but USUALLY NOT unethical. he also becomes a vigilante (and the JL for a bit) and does so much good! none of them are perfect ALL of the time. and considering the other DC villains, he’s not that evil.

strength?? no problem! he almost beat dick and bruce several times in the comics!! source

not to mention his proficiency for new things (see above: chemistry) his whole time as robin he uses bat tech. but redhood uses guns and knives. he just picked that up and was a skilled marksman immediately. (also truama response after nearly dying to death stroke)

so what hes kinda fucked in the head. aren’t they all? isn’t that… the point? it’s justified after everything he’s been through AND it makes hims a better character, more 3D more realistic and relatable.

also for the sake of this thesis partially disregard the wonderful work of art that is WFA it’s a fixit. for a reason. because the it was broken and needed fixing.

TLDR; you don’t have to like Jason Todd, or think he’s the best Robin, but you have to admit, he is a complex, layered, well written character. And stop mischaracterizing him and dumbing him down to this impulsive, angry, weak kid.

bonus: my Jason playlist

[zeynyukine3011]

Some Tim stans are acting like Damian fans are just mad Damian messed up and are insisting it is fine for a character to mess up. But Damian isn't messing up for his own character. This isn't for Damian to learn or grow. It doesn't even align with how Damian would reasonably mess up. This 'mess up' is most likely to sideline Damian for Tim. This is really obvious. Damian shouldn't have in character trusted Zur but he did so Tim can be the good Robin.

EXACTLY!!!!! I've seen several posts about how Damian wasn't OOC and he was "just a child who wanted his father's approval"

People who say this apparently didn't understand Damian's character.

Damian is the child who found his father's identity from a crowd without knowing anything about him. He understood that imposter Insomnia wasn't his father and immediately stabbed him with a sword.

Damian is clever, smart and cunning. In Batman and Robin (2011) he tricked both Batman and Nobody. And neither of them suspected anything until Damian revealed it himself.

But in Zur arc, Damian is just there to look dumb so he can show how "smart" and "perfect" Tim is. Beacuse Chip Zdarsky is basically screaming about his fanboying Tim.

As you just said, this is not something Damian would do. This is not a "mistake" that Damian can have. This incident does not, under any circumstance, add anything to Damian's character development. We have seen, since 2016, that Damian's development he had over the years were thrown to trash. All DC wants to do with him is to be villain.

I was actually starting to gain hope with Batman and Robin (2023) since Damian is not a villainized there (But I don't like how Williamson writes Damian either but at least he is better than Zdarsky. But that's another story.). Unfortunately, however, Damian is still contiuned to be used as a villain, a demon child who always makes stupid mistakes and causes disasters in return.

Like I said in my previous post, Damian will have to apologise for "the things he have done". And, once again, he will be shown as a dumbass who doesn't understand obvious things, and doesn't think the consequences of his actions.

If Damian was written in character, Damian would've notice the moment he laid his eyes on Failsafe, that it wasn't his father. Damian would've become a double agent. He would've secretly make plans to defeat Zur from inside.

Yet, with this writer, we will have a heroic Tim while down grading Damian.

Damian is only there so that Zur can have an evil sidekick and thus, DC can have their "Good B&R vs Evil B&R" fight.

I used to like Tim, actually. I thought he was cool and had potential and could be good brothers with Damian. But in last years, writers always downgrade and badmouth other Robins (particularly Damian) to shine the spotlights to Tim. And while Tim has awesome moments with Bruce, while he saves him, Damian has a horrible relationship with his father. Bruce tells him that even though he loves him, he doesn't like Damian, or just how brash and cruel Damian is, or blaming Damian for Alfred's death etc.

Tim can be written as a good Robin, and for this, DC doesn't need to sweep the floor with the other Robins.

[alfredsolos]

Among us Batfam fans, not all of us love every single member.

Some of use don't like Jason, Dick, Bruce etc.

And naturally, there are people who don't like Damian. Be it his personality or his difference from the previous Robins. This is perfectly normal, you don't have to like Damian or any other Batfam member. For example, I don't really like Bruce's personality and his treatment of his kids. (Although that's mostly DC's fault not Bruce)

But there are certain types of people in the fandom that just loathes a character. And most of the time, this character is Damian. And as a person whose favorite is Damian, this irritates me to say the least.

People don't like the fact that Damian is different, and in their mind, not what a Robin should be. They think that Robin should be the light to Batman's darkness. Which is problematic on it's own, but I won't get into that.

They don't like his bluntness which is often percieved as rudeness (I know there instances where he is rude on purpose, but most of the time it's just him being brutally honest.)

No matter how much these haters deny it, Damian is very capable. He is very smart both academically and in-life. He's a good strategist. He can get himself out of bad situations as easy as getting himself into one. He bested his mother in combat at the age of 10 to learn the identity of his father. He was able to tell who his father was, just by reading his body language (In which Bruce was in Brucie mode). He can manipulate his voice to sound as whoever He wants. He is brave and almost fearless. He is not afraid of higher authority and has wicked wits.

Of course the haters don't care for any of that. The probably don't even know half of these actually happened. Maybe they never even opened a single issue of a comic.

What they're focused on is: He's rude to the other members, he is the weakest of the Batfam and gets his ass handed to him, he is an egoist and aggressive person, he is unwanted and so on...

And when you point out that what they're saying is just what they think and percieve of Damian, and not real facts or when you try to show them examples of him being good and a capable fighter they just deny it and go back to just hating him for nothing.

Like I said before in the beginning, it's totally okay to not like a character. For example if you're a Tim Drake fan you may not like Damian because he tried to kill Tim or said rude things to him.

But with that you have to acknowledge that Jason did the same thing. He beat Tim in the Titans Tower and tried to kill him in Battle For The Cowl. Or that time when Bruce punched Dick. Or that time when Jason shot Damian. Or when Steph hit Tim on the face with a brick and so on...

We need to understand that the current Batfamily is very disfunctional and often times hurt each other. So hating on a character for attacking your favorite one is kinda dumb because they all fought each other at one point.

And so what is the other reason why people hate Damian? His personality.

Yet again this rant is for the people who hate him almost religiously and can not have a conversation about him without bashing him.

(It's totally okay to not like his character and instead focusing on your favorite characters without having the need to bash him.)

This is not very well known but Damian technically has 3 origins.

1) His first appearance, in which Damian was given up for adoption by Talia the moment he was born. We don't really know anything of this origin so I can't really say anything of this version of Damian. But what I can say is that this version would be a lot different than the canon one and he would just be a normal kid.

What we need to focus on is the other two versions.

2) The version that was/is considered canon which was written by Grant Morrison. This version of Damian was raised in the League by trainers. This Damian did not meet Talia until he was 8 years old. So he was more intense and aggressive than the other 2 versions. This is also the version who tried to kill Tim and brought a severed head to the cave.

Now think of a kid who was raised and brainwashed in this cult where he had to kill people, learn advanced academic lore, train and master in multiple martial arts, learn to be obedient but also respected. Imagine this kid growing up and doing these things without having a single parental figure that showed him an ounce of love. Where everyone he interacts with is either scared of him or is meant to train him brutally to make him the best. Imagine this child not knowing the fact that the reason why he was trained like this is not to become the Demon's Head or an assassin, but to be a vessel for Ra's when his body starts rejecting the pit. This was a kid raised to die while suffering his whole life. This is the kid who was killed by his own mother. A 10 year old child that was sent to Hell.

And the last version:

3) Tomasi's version of Damian Wayne. This Damian has a different backstory than the other two. He was raised in the League just like the second version but with a difference. Talia was there. So although he was raised in this violent cult-like place, he had the (somewhat) love of a mother. There are canonical instances shown to us where Talia tells him stories and so on. This is the version who canonically referred to the other assassins as his brothers. This is the version who cried after killing the Bat Dragons. This the version who cried at the death of Alfred. He is the one who cried for Dick when he was shot.

Excluding the first version, the other two encountered very traumatic things in their lives and as a response grew up to be cold and blunt to survive that kind of environment.

So when a Damian fan responds to questions as to why they stan him despite his personality with "Because he is a child.", they don't really have to say anything else. Because that's what he was.

An abused and traumatised child. And honestly, we don't really need another reason for liking him.

Even Tim -whose some fans hate Damian for what he did to him- tells and believes this.

"You were just a kid"

[suzukiblu]

sorry to continually dump ideas into your inbox, but i have yet another. thinking of kryptonians having a mating cycle, and kon going into his first mating period not knowing why he’s suddenly so horny all the time and why he just can’t stop thinking of tim

Very few things bother me LESS than getting presents in my inbox, friend, trust me, haha.

So like, desperately horny needy-feeling and touch-starved Kon who can NOT figure out why he's so gd fixated on Tim to the point that he can't even get it up for anyone else despite being, again, Desperately Horny? And of COURSE Clark didn't give him the Kryptonian version of The Talk, because he's Clark and probably just distractedly told himself Kon was probably too human to need it and he'd just handle it if it ever actually came up, and Kara and Karen ABSOLUTELY assumed Clark HAD already handled it because Kon's HIS clone, and Kon ofc is oblivious to it even mattering or being a thing at all. Kon just thinks he's being a creep and a weirdo about his best friend and kinda hates himself for it.

Kon ALSO does not know how Kryptonians, like . . . actually reproduced, really. Like not in any real detail, at least. Birthing matrix? What's that??

Meanwhile, his Thinker-originated genes are sitting up and paying attention to just how RIDICULOUSLY bad they want to collect genetic material from the insanely smart and clever genius detective who knows a ton of stuff about cloning and forensic science and strategy and how to drive a Super-Cycle. They want that for their mate! They want that for their ONLY mate!! They want to throw their DNA in a test tube together and make a BABY with that mate!!!!

Kon, who is functioning on slightly higher brainpower levels than Kryptonian instinct but is also very uneducated about said instincts and the related methodologies of them, just thinks he's really unnecessarily into the idea of making Tim come in, like . . . whatever part of him, apparently, apparently his stupid horny brain doesn't even care, it just wants Tim to COME and it wants Tim to GIVE him his come, seriously it'd accept a fucking fertility clinic donation cup of it at this point, and HOW IS THAT A NORMAL SEX FANTASY, HUMAN-SOCIALIZED KON DEMANDS. HOW. HOW.

Mating cycle-brained Kon would absolutely, ABSOLUTELY go stick Tim's DNA in a birthing matrix if he could and not even think twice about it, of course.

And absolutely will, if Tim is dumb enough to fuck him when Kon finally snaps and jumps him while Clark's off-planet and not keeping an eye on what's happening in the Fortress. By the time Clark gets back from deep space, morning-after cycle-brained Kon is contentedly watching Kelex mix up a brand-new baby for him and Tim without having, like . . . actually been rational-minded enough to have ASKED Tim . . .

Clark, sweating: . . . I knew I forgot something.

Somewhere in Gotham, Bruce feels an inexplicable urge to get out the kryptonite and stab his best BFF.

[arabian-batboy]

I honestly never understood how Damian ended up being the most (arguably) hated Batkid in the fandom when his existence never directly effected any other Batkid in a negative way.

Like Barbara was the reason why Cass & Steph got erased from existence, Dick became dumb/a himbo because they want Tim to appear smart, Robin Jason became a problem child in order to portray Dick as the “Golden Child” and literally not one of them is allowed to out-shine Batman because he’s Batman.

Yet I don’t see stans of these character putting half the energy into hating these other characters (which would be dumb, don’t get me wrong, but at least it will make sense) for what their existence has done to their favorite character compared to the amount of hate they have for Damian, who really has nothing to do with anything bad that happened to any Batkids nor does he get any privilege/good treatment at their expense, aside from like one or two superficial comments about him Bruce’s “real” child even though he canonly has the worst/2nd worst relationship with Bruce after maybe Jason.

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

No Spiders in Gotham (yet)

by ill_llighted Dr. Strange’s spell didn’t work. The universe cracks open again, and Peter being forgotten isn’t enough. He needs to go somewhere the spell’s magic can’t track him. Somewhere Peter Parker has never existed before. So he says goodbye to New York for the second time, the only home he has ever known, and wakes up in Gotham City. Words: 1852, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Series: Part 5 of Batman & Spider-Man Crossovers Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Comicverse), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU (Comics) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen Characters: Peter Parker, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne Relationships: Batfamily Members & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Spider-Man Fusion, Post-Movie: Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021), Peter Parker-centric, Batfamily-centric (DCU), Batfamily (DCU), Peter Parker Lives in Gotham City, Gotham City is Terrible, Dark Gotham City, Creature Peter Parker, Peter Parker Acts Like a Spider, Peter Parker’s Powers are Modified, Peter Parker has Spinnerets | Organic Web-Shooters, Peter Parker Has Fangs, Peter Parker has Venom, Peter Parker Can't Thermoregulate, Peter Parker Has Sensory Issues, Adult Peter Parker, Smart Peter Parker, Photographer Peter Parker, Bisexual Peter Parker, Peter Parker Angst, BAMF Peter Parker, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker Needs a Break, Homeless Peter Parker, Peter Parker is a Batfamily Member (DCU), Found Family, Scary Batfamily (DCU), BAMF Batfamily (DCU), Bruce Wayne Has Too Many Kids, Protective Bruce Wayne, Bruce Wayne Has Trust Issues, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Communicating, Detective Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson Has Eldest Daughter Syndrome, Dick Grayson Being an Idiot, Jason Todd is a Batfamily Member, Jason Todd Has Abandonment Issues, Jason Todd Has Mental Health Issues, Jason Todd Needs Love, Jason Todd Has No Chill, Stalker Tim Drake, Detective Tim Drake, Photographer Tim Drake, Tim Drake Being Smart But Dumb, Tim Drake is Bad at Self-Care, Tim Drake Has Mental Health Issues, Damian Wayne Being Damian Wayne, Damian Wayne Does Not Understand, Damian Wayne Has PTSD, Damian Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Damian Wayne Tries to Be a Good Sibling, Damian Wayne Has No Chill, Selectively Mute Damian Wayne, Vegetarian Damian Wayne via https://ift.tt/F2Eqprs

[shadowsndaisies]

robin catching feelings

so someone sent me an ask but tumblr glitched and I can't find it but here's a little headcannon/my thought process on it:

ok so when does our birdboy realize??

already set that birdy had a small crush in ep 1 so what if robin did too? 

but what if he’s not fully aware until later, developing his feelings throughout all the things that are happening

but like more to come on the kernel of his crush from when they first met...

HERE'S WHY

chapter 6 (infiltrated)

Robin had some interesting feelings about wally and birdy’s kiss

Maybe he's not exactly sure why— just that it bothered him, and he kind of leaves the emoting alone for a bit. bc he does like her but mb he doesnt realize how much he likes her…. yet.

wally on the other hand notices the slightest hints of jealousy and will be supporting the information away for later

chapters 9 (bereft) and 11 (terrors)

so, in episode 9, they had the brain blast amnesia, and Kaldur got super sick. 

Robin was all jealous. Which is something he had to come to terms with it, especially because ain't no way Wally would let him go. 

So maybe wally presses on it a little bit and Robin gets defensive, so he decides to let it go… for now…

But after 11, when Robin and Birdy had their little moment on the sofa, he brings it up again because now he knows some things. 

That was when birdy did her reveal to him, so maybe he's like maybe… I…. am… into…. her...

also he called her beautiful… sooooo

so at this point homeboy knows he has a crush, but he's not exactly down bad

chapters 14 (revelations) & 15 (humanity)

so based off what was said just before, this is why 14 and 15 have such a big role. 14 gives us birdy’s big chance with Dr. fate. 

I mean the boys almost lost her, and that drives home for him because holy shit I could've lost her. 

so now he’s thinking about it…

he does not like the feeling he gets because he's lost plenty of people in his life already. 

And then in 15, right? Enter Z? It's common knowledge that zatanna’s pretty and she seems to have a little minor crush on him too 

because she's flirting with him, but maybe this is the distraction he needs because he doesn't want to fall for birdy. i mean look at B right? he doesn't have attachments bc they only end up in pain, and with all rob’s already lost he's not trying to make new ones.

which is why he's so dumb and flirts w zatanna— to keep his mind of birdy

which puts us at chapter 16 (failsafe) - when birdy reveals how she feels, outright and clearly

and his distraction tactic goes out the window bc fuck birdy is pretty and smart and tough and oh fuck. oh shit. this is more than just a crush

chapter 17 (disordered) 

his admission of being into her following therapy w dinah and his realization of not wanting to be batman. 

of wanting to be in her life, wanting to be a part of her life, actively.

of being there for her, there to catch her, whatever she needs

not wanting to be bruce- especially the isolation of it all

aka when we see birdboy is, in fact, down bad

from that point on we see his feelings grow

18 (secrets)

homeboy's got heart eyes watching ng stand up to the bat

19 (misplaced)

HUGE for their development bc birdy meets dick grayson for the first time

and he's out here showing the most secretive part of himself to her

21 (agendas)

our love birds go on a date (kinda) and they get to be yn and dick, and see how they do with each other over ng and robin, and it just reaffirms the feelings for both of them

everything tags: 

@butterfly-skinnylegend​​ 

dc taglist: 

@grey-water-colors​ @batarella​ @loninctzencarat​ ​​@escapenightmare

cnng taglist: 

@babymango-writes​​​​​​ @smile-more19​​​​​​ @bruiscdlikeviolets​​​​​ @truly-dionysus​​​​​​ @farfromjustordinary​​​​​ @sometimeseverythingsucks​​​​​ @dweeb-central​​​ @lucy-roo​​​​​ @casedoina​​​​​ @cipheress-to-k-pop​​​​​ @anonomano​​​​​ @seninjakitey​​​​​ @explodingwaffle789​​​​​ @whelmedparker @bigtimesexhaving​​​​​ @officiallydarkgeek​​​​​ @midnxghtblue​​​​​ @unini​​​​ ​ @blackwhiteandshadesofgradient​​​​​ @dontmesswithbeebo​​​​​ @raggedyoldwitch​​​​​ ​​​​​ @amans-te-amo @tinybeantm​​​​​​​​​​ @unicorn-mya​​​​​ @bouqet-of-gay​​​​​ @duckmylife18 @kendallambrosio​​​​​ @hanbetired​​​​ @torchbearerkyle​ @cynthiarose07​​ @lolsnacks​​​​ ​ @mono--moonchild @emo-space-tea​ @notsostraightweeb​ @cryingnotcrying​  @sassyspanishartist​ @ahyeonah​ @acceber1313​ @abuliawrites @onepieceformeplease @whatislifeandhowdoidoit @luvelyxp​ @lovelyartemisa @evermoore580 @mischiefmanaged71

[cer-rata]

Fic WIP: "The Return of Ra's al Ghul"

Tim figured that something like this would happen eventually. He just wished he wasn’t the only other person in the cave. Or that he had Damian’s Torch. He felt Conrad’s hands on his shoulders, gentle, friendly. He was trying too hard to not seem threatening. But his hands were shaking, Tim knew that meant he was terrified. But Tim also knew that Conrad was not at all afraid of him. 

Maybe he was afraid of himself?

“Hey, Tim?”

Mirror his demeanor, figure out why he’s upset. “What’s up?”

“I need some information.”

“From me specifically?”

“You’re smart.”

“Well, yes, but I don’t think that’s why--”

“Tell me about Ra’s al Ghul.”

Tim’s pupils dilated. How did he find out? Everyone swore not to tell him until it was dealt with, how did he--

“Why?”

“I’m curious.”

“Why didn’t you look him up?”

“Above my clearance. Which is weird, right? I’m the main Sapphire for the sector now, you think I’d be trusted enough to know about a guy who wants to cleanse the Earth? Especially when he’s family? Well. Not my family yet, but you get what I’m saying.”

On the one hand, Tim was relieved that Conrad wasn’t planning to turn him into a Red Robin themed, luminescent pin-cushion, but on the other…

“Conrad, I'm not going to help you kill him.”

Tim braced himself for a painful reaction, but was met with a sigh instead. “...That’s not what I’m asking. I wouldn’t ask you that, partially because you wouldn’t, mostly because frankly, I wouldn’t need the help. I just need enough data to come to a conclusion.”

“Well I’m not going to tell you to kill him either.”

“Christ, Tim, I’m not dumb, I DO know you.”

Tim brushed him off and turned around to face him directly. “Well then what do you want me to tell you?”

“I want to know if you’d stop me.”

Tim hesitated. “...What?”

“You’re not Bruce, you’re not Dick, you’re not Damian. Sure, you’re not a killer, but you’re also not that sentimental. You won’t do it. But would you stop me? Is his life worth enough to you that you’d risk getting in my way to save it?”

“Every life is worth--”

“Don’t pretend to be Bruce, tell me what you would do. What you would want to do.”

Tim grit his teeth. “I’d want to convince you that we had it under control enough that you wouldn’t have to consider murder. I’d want to convince you that that’s not what we do, and that there are reasons for that. I’d want to convince you that I care about you enough to not want to see you throw a live grenade into your relationships.”

Conrad tilted his head to the side, expression mostly blank except for the subtle, sad twist of his lips. He closed his eyes and sighed.

“...But you still haven’t said you’d stop me.”

[ghostly-wisteria-tea]

It would be funny, at least in my head. That kid!Khonshu end up meeting with the young Avengers, and for some reason, Miles tried to recruit him in one mission.

And purely out of coincidence, Doctor Strange went on a warning lecture about the Elder Gods. And Khonshu just stand there confused to the bone since it is now saying that he is an "Elder God" who is related to Gaea, a Greek goddess.

Eventually, Doctor Strange noticed something off about the newbie kid, it is familiar but just can't put his finger on it.

Then he revealed that he knows "heka" or Egyptian magic, to which they end up teaming him with Billy, because of the whole "magic" label. Even though they use it very, very differently.

Billy can blast energy.

But Khonshu would avoid doing that and just rip out someone's throat using a pencil. He only uses heka/magic to heal his injuries, enhance his body and stuff he touches, giving it his "blessing" to molecularly change it to anything he wishes. Then use it to break your knees or other defensive stuff, like making a train bullet-proof.

Think of Alchemical Transmutation from Fullmetal Alchemist. Khonshu does that with anything he touches, atomically changing it from one matter to another as long as he have an idea on what he is doing. So it requires a deep knowledge on matter, chemistry, engineering, quantum physics, quantum mechanics, and most of all, alchemy.

Alchemy have ancient roots on Egypt, besides China. So I am making Khonshu an expert Alchemist.

But if he does blast energy beams. It would be a huge highly concentrated Moon Light laser that have the strength being smashed by multiple moons at once. Because he is that dramatic, wants the most maximum, flashy damage done. And everyone in the Ennead told him not do that, so he does it anyway out of pure spite.

I mean, Khonshu have a vast knowledge on many subjects thanks to living with Thoth, The god of Wisdom, Knowledge, and Magic in Heliopolis, and travelling alone. Khonshu and Thoth became very closely associated thanks to the Heliopolis mythos and end up partly fusing to one God.

Khonshu can understand what ever shit Bruce Banner talks about, he just doesn't want to be interrogated by everyone. And he is just very, very lazy about anything intellectual. Choosing to doze off, both out of boredom and lack of interest on a subject he already knows thousands of years ago. Practically feigning being dumb and being a rude asshole if anyone asked him. The think is, he knows the "proper" way, or the accepted way. He just chooses the fastest method even if it is dirty and will get him in jail.

Basically, very, very utilitarian. Bending any rules, including his own if it means getting the results he wanted. So he is both gutsy/brave to do things outside the box and against the most commonly accepted norms, and also stupid at the same time as breaking those norms will get him in jail. And after getting in trouble so many times, Khonshu stopped giving a damn in general.

It's a bit of a nihilistic and a very cynical view of justice and the world.

Like he is smart but in a stupid and mad way. Think of Captain Jack Sparrow from the pirates of the Carribean. That one phrase where Becket tells Jack that he is mad, and Jack just replies that it's a good thing as his ideas would never have worked. Think of that.

Billy is also an actual kid. Khonshu can't exactly have a PHD-level metaphysics discussion about the nature of reality with Billy without getting the poor boy confused as hell.

Billy is a bit interested on the possibility of another magic user at first, everyone is. Until everyone learned that Khonshu rather uses his fists than do magic the same way Billy does. What he meet instead is a "younger" kid who acts rude, a bit of a dick, a loner, picks fights with the Avengers, talks like some arrogant prick yet speaks like your tired grandpa who is surprisingly fair at times.

The fact that Khonshu never shows his magic skill or take common pride in it makes it hard for folks to tell.

There is also something very off about the kid that makes Billy feel uneasy, like he feels something with Kid!Khonshu. But he just can't put his finger on it.

At this point, no one knows that Kid!Khonshu is actually Khonshu from an alternate dimension who got stranded in the 616 world.

Kid!Khonshu just continues to act like an antisocial loner to get them off his back.

It's actually the "elder god" thing where Billy is destined to be the next Demiurge, which is a really weird addition btw. So Billy end up sensing not Kid!Khonshu exactly, but the being named "Khonshu" written on the 616 universe cannon who is Ra's son. And Kid!Khonshu end up getting the same vibes due to his true name is also being 'Khonshu", even if it's from another universe with different rules.

[aemiron-main]

since when are the flayed empty? i really don’t think there’s another entity controlling heather and i think people are stereotyping her as being dumber than she actually is. she’s no mastermind but she doesn’t need to be.

To start: which is more likely? 

a.) ‘girl who is the type of girl who would generally get stereotyped as dumb (athletic, pretty and popular) is actually smart and Henry warps her mind just like he does with the other flayed and uses her intelligence to his advantage especially because people don’t expect her to be smart in a show that’s all about subverting stereotypes’ 

or  b.) ‘random new entity shows up out of nowhere with no introduction and with some daddy issues towards tom holloway specifically and contradicts existing lore and narrative’?

We’ll come back to that point about Heather, but for now, I’m genuinely confused as to where people are getting the idea that the flayed in s3 turn completely ‘mindless’ and empty the whole time. That’s literally not true. The flayed retain elements of their original memories and personality but these things are warped by Henry’s influence/possession. These original memories and personality deteriorate over time JUST like how Will’s deteriorated over time in s2. 

I keep seeing people talk about how Heather is an outlier and therefore there must be some other force involved- but she’s not an outlier and I don’t think there’s another force involved (i have possible theories about virginia but those aren’t firm yet and I think there’s something else going on with her, I don’t think she’s Heather). Let’s look at why Heather is not an outlier amongst the flayed: 

Bruce Lowe

If Bruce is ‘empty,’ then why does he have his original memories (the callback to the Nancy Drew comment that he made pre-flaying when he says it again post-flayed) and his original mannerisms and his original, very distinct, speech patterns? He behaves like Bruce, just an angrier, more violent version of himself. 

Tom Holloway

Tom is flayed when he’s in the office. Thats why Nancy and Jonathan originally thought he was on drugs. But then it’s revealed that real reason he was acting weird was because he was flayed. Tom goes to work! He fires Nancy and Jonathan! He’s aware of things that happened before he was flayed (Nancy and Jonathan investigating Doris Driscoll), he speaks with his usual cadence and mannerisms except seems angrier and more erratic (hence why Nancy and Jonathan believed he was on drugs). He isn’t empty. He doesn’t act or speak like Henry (unlike Billy). Now, what about Heather? I keep seeing people say that Heather has ‘more personality,’ and therefore must be a separate entity but then I also see people saying that Heather has ‘less personality,’ and also using THAT to justify her being a separate entity. I think both are true except for the separate entity part, because I think that her personality deteriorates over time as she becomes more monotonous.  She does not have more personality than the other flayed. This is false. She is just as sentient as they are. She also does not have less personality than the other flayed. Her personality deteriorates OVER TIME which is why she kind of becomes more monotonous like Henry, which is something I’m going to talk about later, and even that aside, she becomes more monotone just like how Bruce and Tom have an angrier, more monotone version of their voices, but still have their unique voies and speaking patterns, just slightly more monotone and agrier and the same applies to heather. She still has personality! She still behaves like Heather, just like a meaner version of Heather (JUST like how Bruce and Tom are meaner versions of themselves), she’s snarkier towards her parents, talks condescendingly to her father (it’s not monotonous, it’s deeply sarcastic in those scenes), she pretends to be nice, she DOES have personality, it’s just that her worst traits are being emphasized more/magnified (just like how henry’s powers hold a mirror up to people and show them the worst parts of themselves). Heather becomes meaner and colder. She becomes the way that people like Karen’s friends see her- pretentious, cold, and mean. Like what’s more likely:  A.) a mysterious new sentient entity has somehow shown up with no introduction in s3 and contradicts existing lore and for some reason has the same sort of grudge against Tom Holloway that a resentful daughter would have towards him and condescendingly calls Tom “daddy” to indicate this.  B.) heather is the same as the other flayed, has issues with her father that are reflected in her flayed scenes, and Henry is the one behind it all, just like we learn in s4, and just like they’ve been telling us the entire time, just like HENRY HIMSELF SAYS AND CONFIRMS. please be fr. what did you think ‘it was you it was always you’ from el in s4 and then the ensuing flashbacks to s3 with the flayed etc and then also will saying ‘it’s weird knowing who it was this whole time’ meant? like genuinely what was the reason for that if henry wasn’t the one behind it? Sorry (not sorry actually) but I’m going to go with B.) because it has. actual evidence.  The difference between Heather and Bruce and Heather and Tom is that she is better at planning as  a PERSON, she is smart and analytical in ways that other people who get flayed like Bruce are not, and that intelligence was there PRIOR to the flaying. She’s smart. She realizes that something is wrong with Billy and goes to check in on him in the shower, whereas the other women just catcall at him and don’t notice that something is wrong. She’s observant and smart. I think a lot of people assume that Heather ‘couldn’t be that smart’ because they judge her based on being an atheletic lifeguard and a pretty, popular girl (just like how we see the other women sitting with Karen judging Heather) which are traits that often get women stereotyped as dumb, but I think the reality is that Heather is a  smart, observant, and analytical person- she’s no secret mastermind, but Henry is able to use her intelligence to his advantage (much like how he absorbs his victims in S4 and gains their skills and abilities and everything about them). Here’s the thing: the flayed would be of very little use to Henry if they completely lacked their original memories/personality. 

So, he doesn’t get rid of their memories/personality- he warps it. He forces it to be used for his own goals. He does not change that fact that Heather is smart and analytical, he does not make her dumber, nor smarter, but instead, changes the ways in which that intelligence is used/how it’s applied/gets her to join in his schemes. It’s like him having a tool (Heather and the other flayed and their memories and personalities and thinking skills) and instead of destroying that tool completely, he USES it, but the tool also isn’t free!! The tool isn’t free to just sit on the shelf and live its life- it’s being USED, manipulated, forced to do tasks. A hammer and a feather can both be used to hit a nail, but only one of them is going to get the job done, so why the hell would Henry turn a great hammer (Heather’s intelligence) into a flimsy feather (removing her personality and memories entirely)? It makes no sense. 

Heather and Bruce and Tom are tools who are good at different things. Tom and Bruce are the grunts who have just enough of a personal grudge against Nancy and Jonathan to pursue them. Heather is somebody who a.) is smart and was accessible to be flayed and b.) gives Billy/Henry access to people like Tom (via the dinner at the Holloways’ house). Henry has no use for completely empty, mindless flayed other than building the fleshflayer, and so, he hits two birds with one stone by having their minds deteriorate (and be warped by him) and having their bodies deteriorate as well (into the fleshflayer) rather than immediately removing their minds and immediately having them join the fleshflayer. He uses them as tools to recruit more people and to achieve his goals. It’s like Heather, for example, is a knife- why would he purposefully dull that knife when he needs to use it? 

Heather DOES seem more monotone at times, but not always, and she becomes more monotone OVER TIME. The reason why heather is more monotone and seems to have adopted more of henry’s mannerisms is because she has been possessed the second-longest (with billy being the longest and his shift in mannerisms being immediate because he is the host. and yes he is canonically the host. will straight up says that henry/the mf would be trying to find a new will/a new host) and so therefore more of her personality and memories and mannerisms have deteriorated so they align more with Henry’s. the same would have happened to people like Nancy’s bosses if they had lived longer/been flayed longer. Think of it this way: 

Heather wasn’t fully gone but she was the most gone, she was the furthest gone because she was flayed the earliest, hence her shift in mannerisms (again besides billy because he is the host). Hell, el still finds heather in the void early-on. she’s wasn’t fully gone. she was trapped. trapped in her own mind like Will was, still partially there and making decisions warped by Henry and using Will’s memories and Will’s intelligence to Henry’s advantage.  just like how will’s mind would have been completely gone if they hadn’t saved him in s2, the flayed’s mind AND bodies disappear. right as their minds are fully gone, their bodies dissolve. Sometimes the bodies dissolve before the mind is fully gone (which is the case with Tom and Bruce) because the bodies have been injured past the point of usefulness/physical survival, so then they’re useful as the fleshflayer.  anyway. yeah. i don’t think there’s a separate force controlling heather because her behaviour is consistent with other flayed, she just happens to be a Person whose intelligence and connections are useful to Henry once her mind is warped to be forced to align with his goals. if heather was also a host, then why did her body dissolve? and why do we see her walking with her mother just like the other flayed? billy doesn’t dissolve and doesn’t walk with the other flayed. because he’s the only host. 

[arobinwithoutbatman]

“It’s getting crowded. Here, hold my hand.” [Dick with a young!Timmy either out someplace or stuck at a gala idk let them be brothers]

He hates Galas. He hates Galas so much. They're just dumb parties for grown ups to talk to each other about boring stuff and Tim hates it so much. It doesn't matter where they go, they're always in the fancy old buildings where the lights aren't quite right and he can hear the electricity in the walls and the light bulbs buzzing and humming. The patterns on old wallpaper made his eyes go fuzzy. There's always so many people around, all grownups. There's not many kids. A few but most of them are older than him, already in middle school at least. At eight years old, Tim wasn't quite there yet. He could skip a grade or two, sure. He was smart enough for it. His teachers kept saying so. But mom and dad wanted to make sure he could get plenty of practice talking to all sorts of people.

Because Tim wasn't great at talking. He'd forget to look in their eyes (it hurt) and take turns (someone taking a breath didn't always mean it was his turn to talk) and that he couldn't just go on and on about the things he liked (even though they were way more interesting). It didn't help that they were already running a little late because mom and dad's plane had run behind so they're still sleepy. He knows they are. They had to hire a chauffeur for the night because they both kept yawning.

Which means they weren't here exactly for the start time which meant Tim's obligatory half an hour of talking to the other kids or anyone mom and dad wanted him to talk to had started late which means it would finish later and he'd already been feeling this buzzy feeling under his skin for like a month that hadn't stopped after a run in with Poison Ivy and someone on the other side of the hall had a weird laugh that made his ears hurt and he couldn't remember any of the things he was allowed to say and he would get in trouble if he let himself act weird again because he'd been so good about not doing that and he couldn't go and hide behind mum's skirt and rub the nice material between his fingers for another twenty minutes and-

And-

...that's Dick Grayson reaching out his hand.

That's the fourteen year old ward of Bruce Wayne holding his hand out to Tim with a smile. And Tim could only stand there gawking. Dick Grayson was his personal hero. Not just for this. Because he was part of a circus act that wasn't around anymore; The Flying Graysons. Dick was the only left. Tim was there, he remembered the screaming... but also, before that, the kind boy who'd eased his nerves and done a little flip and a couple of tricks in front of him to get him excited for the show even though it would be loud and flashy.

He should. Say something. Anything.

"Thank you." He murmured, taking the offered hand.

[intruality-overlord]

Au idea/ramble

I’m having one of those times where I am hyper fixated on two things at once and I have no idea how much these fandoms overlap if at all BUT it’s making me want to smash these two things together in an AU so I present my idea of a Gotham/Danganronpa AU where the characters of Gotham are put in a killing game, probably a copycat killing game, and to make it more interesting they can keep their memories ….most of them. It would make sense not too cause that just gives them more motive to kill each other so— oh also this would have Gobblepot in it cause I’m obsessed but also Nygmobblepot drama because I just have to and for some reason I had the idea to put Victor Zsasz and Lucius Fox together? Maybe not together but there’s some type of feelings. In the situation I just felt it made sense for some reason— I have like a general idea of the plot if anyone wants to hear me ramble further but it’s not a solid outline yet. Gotham fans will probably be more interesting since I’m using those characters with the danganronpa format but maybe I can work in some Danganronpa character cameos.

The characters I’m planning to use are: Jim, Harvey, Oswald, Lee, Barbara, Butch, Zsasz, Selena, Bruce, Alfred, Tabitha, Lucius, Ed, Hugo Strange, Fish, and Ivy. So pretty good mix I think? For maximum angst? Not sure the mastermind could be. Maybe Sofia. Probably Sofia. Don’t know why she’d do this but, well, she’s more unhinged than Oswald and her father and didn’t bat at eye at endangering children so who else would unless I bring back Junko from the dead— okay now that I say that that’s exactly the dumb shit that would happen in both franchises. If not Sofia or Junko it could be Tsumugi and idk maybe it’s a random international season of Danganronpa. Jeremiah is another option but would he really be a copycat? Nah. And Jerome? Smarter than he looks but not smart enough to keep them trapped longer than a week. The mastermind might not be important cause I haven’t even decided if they’re going to escape or not :3

Imagine the angst tho you got fucking Jim and Bruce and all their most important people stuck in a killing game with Gothams rogue gallery like come on. All the tension cause the villains wouldn’t hesitate to kill but you’re in an enclosed space with Gothams greatest detective that’s gotta be a little intimidating especially as time goes on and the trials happen and Jim keeps finding the blackened…

Where the Gobblepot aspect comes in is I think Jim would just fucking glue himself to Oswald for three, eventually four, reasons. A) stop him from killing anyone. B) protect him from everyone else cause most of them have motive to kill Oswald, C) if he’s always with Oswald if someone tries to kill him Oswald would immediately be suspected so Oswald wouldn’t be dumb enough to try it, and D) he starts actually trusting him. Trust [romantic]. Bonus other reason Jim is making sure Oswald has an alibi all the time so no one can pin a murder on him cause that would be so easy to do.

Now the Lucius and Victor thing hear me out hear me out. Everyone likes Lucius. No one has beaf with that guy, including Victor. Lucius is also a kind understand smarties as we know from How The Riddler Got His Name AND I KNOW WHAT YOURE THINKING Edward and Lucius make more sense then, right? Well I thought about it. And I decided I don’t want Ed to be happy— kidding. Or am I? No I just love a good aro headcanon cbkgzjtdlydi but back to Zsasz. Since Zsasz if like the most likely to kill someone everything thinks for obvious reasons, they all avoid him. Zsasz also is not an idiot so in reality he’s not going to kill anybody. Lucius knows this. So Lucius being the kind person he is I imagine would check up on Zsasz (whomst isolated himself) and Zsasz would get really fond of him I think. Basically I like Zsasz better than Edward so Victor gets the boyfriend.

I’m just a sucker for some good angst and Whump so this AU seems like the perfect playground don’t you think?

[finniestoncrane]

I'd love to hear more about your OC, and well as her relationship with Arkham!Riddler. I just really love OCs in general, so if you have any kind of info on Conundrum as well as any other Batman OCs you have that you'd like to share, I'm all ears 👂👂👂👂👂👂

oh snow!! i would be more than happy to go off about her ;-; i don't have any other ocs yet, this is the first time i've ever delved into something like this and i LOVE IT it's so much fun

these are mostly headcanons and little bits of info that i haven't really put into anything proper yet 💚

so uh yeah here's more info on my self-insert, very self-indulgent oc u-u (and everyone has to be nice because the only reason i haven't made an oc up until this point is because people were mean to me in the past lmao)

so uh her name is conundrum (i'm toying with a real name, is it dumb to have her real name be connie drum? probably but hey it's dc)

she grew up in gotham with an aunt who she would rather never speak of. after a brief stint of sleeping rough and couch surfing in her teens she found a job at a diner doing whatever anyone else didn't want to. they held a weekly trivia quiz and she usually managed to scrape extra money by winning that because she's good at remembering facts and trivia.

alfred frequented the diner, as an escape and a guilty pleasure, and he became fond of her. they have a sweet relationship, a sort of honorary father figure, offering to have her move into wayne manor with them. she rejected the offer because she's very much "eat the rich" but she did accept his offer to pay for her to go to university under a wayne scholarship. she has no ties to bruce and has only interacted with him twice.

at university she studied psychology and criminology and met harley. they've remained best friends since. they're both chaotic, a little bit silly, adorable and perpetually cheery while being a little bit scary tough. in fact, it was harley who encouraged her to put her skills and knowledge into working in gotham's criminal world (even though connie wasn't sure that joker was... right for harley) and so naturally, connie decided that someone smart would be the best to tie herself to.

eddie is with her in every sense of the word. and he likes to maintain that it's begrudgingly so, despite the fact that he knws fine well that he loves her and she's everything to him (hello my wishes and dreams lmao).

she's eddie's goofy little cheerleader, entirely dorky and unapologetically in love with him and supportive of every horrible thing he does. she's fun and sweet and he's mean and grumpy, the perfect match.

unlike me, connie is not afraid of getting hurt and does not have motion sickness, so she roller skates everywhere and is in a roller derby team with harley. she also skates everywhere in the sewers and in eddie's workshop which really irritates him, but she's faster at passing him his tools (or at least going to get him the right tool on the second or third try). her favourite skates are glittery with neon, glow in the dark wheels that have flashy lights in them.

eddie gives her a weekly stipend which she calls her pocket money, and he hates that.

she's a big strong fat girl, and eddie likes having her around because she's soft and squishy. she has a gap tooth, on the top row of her teeth, the same colour eyes as him, her natural hair colour is red, she has anxiety, ocd and autism, she's a chaotic bisexual slut, and she has a huge crush on poison ivy so she avoids her at all costs because anytime she's ever been near her she's been unable to focus or speak.

uh this is the little drawing i did of her 💚

[joompheart]

I am a BATMANIAC I love BATMAN this sucks because Batman is DUMB AS HELL when he should not be in fact he should be smart as a whip but then if he’s smart as a whip he wouldn’t do all the really viscerally satisfying fan service stuff!!

I have a fantasy of my ideal Batman who works really hard to play the role. He’s been in the game for years but stayed close enough to the ground figuratively speaking that almost nobody outside of Gotham thinks he’s real. He helped found the JLA but left after the first year of that organization and isn’t acknowledged in any of their records. Most of his rouges gallery are actually on okay terms with him. He’s got a middlingly sized bat-family where most everyone actually likes him.

He’s subtle. He spends most of his time doing detective stuff. 6/7ths of his time is spent on terrestrial, normal human stuff like organized crime and working to negate small scale stuff like murder and blackmail. He has to do a lot of the work himself in the rain with binoculars and directed microphones because there aren’t cameras through most of Gotham. He has a grapnel gun and reactive cape like in the Arkham games and the dark knight trilogy, but he also keeps his old fashioned manual grapple hook to swing from gargoyles across the rooftops. His Batmobile and batwing (Bat-plane?) and bat-subway rocket (like in Knightfall) and any other vehicles are made to be as quiet as possible. This doesn’t mean they’re silent, or even close to silent depending on the vehicle, but they’re as low profile as they can be.

He takes the time and effort to preserve his myth and do his research so he really is scary when it counts. Sure “the Bat-Man” has been spotted on a couple of high profile occasions, but that was years ago. Besides, do you really believe the people who said they saw it? So when a mobster or whatever gets snatched out of an alley, it COULD have been Batman. Or it could’ve been something else. Gotham is an old, old, city build on haunted, cursed land with foundations sinking into older, more evil foundations sinking into…

Within the his circle though, there’s little pretense. The people who know that Bruce Wayne is Batman FOR SURE are:

Alfred Pennyworth, Dick Grayson (Nightwing), Jason Todd (Ressurected Red Hood), Tim Drake (Red Robin is such a dumb fucking name and it doesn’t make sense for the maximum efficiency world of the bat-family because it overlaps with Red Hood and Robin. I think of him as “Cardinal,” which I think is appropriate as a bird that kinda looks like a robin but is way more red), Damian Wayne (Robin), Cassandra Cain (Batgirl), Barbra Gordon (Oracle). Bane (of course), and bane’s inner circle of Bird, Zombie, and Trogg. Last, the Founding members of the JLA, so at least Superman, Wonder Woman, and the Flash. I haven’t settled on the other members, but it’d be 7 counting Batman. Catwoman might be on the list idk how I wanna play it. Batwoman almost certainly is, but I’m not familiar enough with her to make that call yet. At the very least she’d know quickly in the story. Idk if she’d let her lesbionic partner Renee Montoya/ Question in on it either, as I also don’t really know shit about her beyond some appearances in a supporting role as a detective.

The Riddler basically knows but is kept in check in sort of the same way he was at the end of Hush (which probably happened in some capacity in this fantasy continuity). Besides, he, and many of his fellow villains have less destructive interests these days (though they are definitely still dangerous and regularly spend time at the asylum. But the asylum has more actual asylum stuff than ever and has made progress to some extent with many of the regular patients. There’s still some mad science and unethical treatment from time to time though :]). Riddler has a lot of online stuff going on, and while he’ll still hijack the city from time to time it’s usually an effort to “raise the collective intelligence” of its citizens through high stakes games rather than just “solve my riddles so I don’t blow up a hospital for ransom Batman!!!”

Basil Carlo/ Clayface is mostly aligned with a Gotham theatre troupe now, and has earned minor local prestige for his performances and how he can take advantage of his powers to enhance them. He’ll still knock over a bank for cash or get roped into a collaborative scheme, but if anything that kinda endears him to many of the performers and techs.

Pamela Isley / Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn are deep in lesbionics and bounce around a couple cities doing ecoterrorism and animal welfare stuff. Human endangerment brings in Batman and the asylum will keep them like the rest of the gallery because that’s the only place with the specialized facilities. But they’re also generally looked upon fondly.

Dr. Victor Fries/ Mr. Freeze is doing better than ever. He actually managed to save Nora Fries but the process makes her need to stay sub-zero like him. She’s TOTALLY into it (and now bald like him). They’re now a husband and wife team doing bleeding edge research and occasional mad science with everything to do with the concept of “cold.” The have a private lab that’s partially funded by Wayne enterprises but the Fries’ never let Wayne have much influence over their work, as he frequently has moral objections and safety concerns. They do villainy but they’re also leading scientists who Batman alternately admires and values and opposes.

Waylon Jones/ Killer Croc doesn’t do much cannibalism these days. He bounces around crime families and on rare occasions subs in as a cook in mob controlled kitchens. He still enjoys villain team-up schemes, but values comfort and simple pleasures in his day to day. Croc does whatever he wants. One day he’s doing meat prep for Bane’s cookout in Gotham’s Santa Priscan enclave, the next he’s standing in as muscle for one of Penguin’s arms deals, the next he’s playing cards in Black Mask’s strip club. People know of Croc, and the people who actually spend time with him generally like him. When he’s busted he spends time in Arkham reading cookbooks abd other assorted literature, and paints. He’ll still eat a motherfucker raw though.

Batman is definitely a bat-dad now, if a little brooding and distant. He’s in just the last few years of his already ridiculously long lasting prime, and his children are already surpassing him in specific ways, like Jason being stronger and meaner and more organized (somehow lol), Dick being more agile and overall physically effective with a subtle knack for detective work, Tim and Barbra being smarter and more useful with technology by more and more as the months pass, Cassandra and Damian’s strength coming in to match their long superior fighting technique, etc. etc.Bruce is only staying ahead by being the most well rounded and experienced. Alfred is right on the cusp of retirement. Julia Pennyworth is somewhere and occasionally in touch, but sure as hell isn’t stepping in to replace her dad as “home base.”

His family all take the mission seriously (to one degree or another). Certainly more seriously than nearly anyone else in the broader JLA and “superhero community.” They all eventually, for their own reasons if not through direct training, took it to heart that their only way to stay ahead in their world is to be prepared and fight dirty. They all have their strong suits but can also preform well in all of the “bat-family” skills of fighting, stealth, and detective work. This is satisfying on its own, but I’ll admit a lot of it is hoping for a “booyah” moment when one of Batman’s kids just SMOKES some chump JLA member at whatever objective.

To wrap up (as I really ought to Jesus) the fan service stuff I was whining about at the start of the post is basically me moaning that if they really were smart and focused on efficiency and subtle work, the bat family would never all be in one place for a cool “yeah there are like 12 of us” moment outside of the Batcave or a dedicated out of costume vacation. Most of them aren’t even in Gotham except for rare visits home! Whatever. Whatever. I’ll make it happen. I’ll make the Batman who can be serious and also make silly animated series one liners and even dry jokes if my dreams someday. With a Joker who’s actually funny!! I love funny joker who does audacious schemes for money and announces them ahead of time to invite people to stop him!! I don’t care about scary joker anymore I know he was always supposed to be subtly serious and scary but I don’t care anymore I was to laugh with him!!!