#Depressed and Dysphoria

[brooke2valley]

See the difference...? 🖤 (Graffiti lettering by @deadeyedfae)

(TW: Depressive thoughts)

To be clear, this is a sort of Parody of yesterday's comic. Please do not worry about me 💕

If you feel similar to this, please please talk to someone. Don't keep it to yourself, you deserve to feel comfortable in your own body.

[worthless-misery]

Dear diary...

I wish I could just get rid of this body.

It's just disgusting.

I just want to disappear.

[lavendorii]

highchoolers (and iori)

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

A new landmark study has found that access to gender-affirming healthcare significantly reduces rates of depression, gender dysphoria, and suicidality among transgender people.

While it’s no secret that providing gender-affirming care to transgender individuals who ask for it can greatly benefit their well-being, an increase in transphobic rhetoric and bans on gender-affirming healthcare has prompted thorough medical studies into the impact of such care.

Now, brand new research conducted in Melbourne, Australia, has found that allowing transgender people to access the care they’re after can reduce suicidality by a stunning 55%.

As part of the first-ever randomized controlled trial (RCT) on gender-affirming care, researchers took 64 transgender and gender-diverse adults who had been looking to start testosterone therapy and randomly split them into a treatment group and a control group.

While the treatment group was allowed to begin hormone therapy that week, the control group waited three months for their treatment to begin.

Before the study began, both groups were evaluated on depression, gender dysphoria, and suicidality. Three months later, the two groups were evaluated again.

RCTs for medical care can often be hard to conduct due to practical and ethical concerns. However, researchers of this study found a way to hold an RCT for this study by incorporating a shorter follow-up period. Rather than giving the control group a placebo drug, or no treatment at all, they were simply given a longer wait time.

The results showed a notable decrease in gender dysphoria, depression, and – most significantly – suicidality.

The group that received gender-affirming care right away saw a 55% reduction in suicidality compared to a 5% drop within the control group.

Depression scores in the treatment group decreased by half, while gender dysphoria rates also significantly decreased.

Breaking down their findings, researchers Brendan J. Nolan MBBS, Sav Zwickl, PhD, and Peter Locke wrote: “There was a statistically significant decrease in gender dysphoria in individuals with immediate [access to gender-affirming care] compared with delayed initiation of testosterone therapy.”

“A clinically significant decrease in depression and a decrease in suicidality also occurred with immediate testosterone therapy.”

“The findings of this trial suggest that testosterone therapy significantly decreases gender dysphoria, depression, and suicidality in transgender and gender-diverse individuals desiring testosterone therapy.”

Of course, this isn’t the first time that research has shown significant drops in depression and suicide rates among transgender individuals who receive gender-affirming care.

A 2022 medical study showed that young transgender people who have access to puberty blockers are 73% less at risk of suicide and report improved well-being.

But, as anti-trans activists advocate for further bans on gender-affirming care, one of the key arguments is that the evidence in support of the care isn’t up to scratch with GRADE (Grades of Recommendation, Assessment, Development, and Evaluation) standards.

So research like this landmark RCT is so significant to the transgender community and its allies as the fight for their healthcare rights rumbles on.

[bpdeeperdaddy]

What is so wrong with me that I’m so hard to love

I fucking hate every single part of myself

[mattgrayyes]

Representation’s important, esp during times like now where people are marginalised and turned into scapegoats regularly.

So here’s some stuff that, while none of your business, I’ll share in case it helps anyone feeling alone:

I’m non-binary & have gender dysphoria.

I’m prob demisexual & polyamorous.

I’ve got ADHD, ASD, & a history of depression, and panic/anxiety disorder.

I take anti depressants monitored by a psychiatrist, and see a therapist regularly.

Long COVID gave me Chronic Fatigue which I’ve had for two years now.

Being “person off the internet” I’m usually careful not to talk about personal stuff. I’m in the odd position where people have a parasocial relationship with me, and are interested in me and my life.

I enjoy sharing my work, humour, and things I’ve made online. But that doesn’t entitle anyone to know anything about my personal life.

I’ve seen other creators have their life and relationships discussed, and I don’t want that.

I’m sharing personal info despite this, in case it helps someone.

[sapphocynthia]

I need someone to treat me like their femme princess. They'll hold the door open for me, buy me flowers, stroke my hair, and tell me how gorgeous I am.

[surreal-duck]

nui shenanigans

[asparklethatisblue]

Some stuff for Joys of Misfortune because someone keeps drawing me into talking and thinking about it over and over ;3;

First one is from the fic, second one is post canon James and Louisa being tiny

[freestyle-crocodile-trashpile]

Love?

[A/N:ngl guys, I'm still on episode 12]

Summary:Yuji asked you on a date! Yet you can't wrap your head around why he would

Type:Scenario:Angst:Yuji Itadori X Ftm!reader

Version:JJk

⚠️WARNING! Mentions of depression, anxiety, and eating disorder!⚠️

~

"Hey! Y/n, um...what if, we, go out? Like a date! Just the two of us?"

Those words repeat in your mind over and over, blankly staring at the mirror as his words repeat again. Yuji Itadori, a boy at your school, the same boy you like, the same boy who you admired, and stared at, and was happy around, and...the boy who asked you out. But why? Your poor mind couldn't figure out why. He didn't like you, he's never even looked at you. It's a setup. He wouldn't like you. You're just some boy, but can you truly be called a boy? Of course, you see yourself as a boy! But does Itadori? Does he know he's asking out a boy? You're not one of those pretty girls. you're not the skinny blonde with large assets. You're not the girl he has as his background, or the girl he talks to, or the girl he listens to every day.

Staring at a mirror doesn't help.

Your eyes land on your mother's makeup, your eyes go to the sink than to yourself again.

"He...he thinks I'm a girl...he wants a girl..."

Your hands grab the makeup and carefully put it on. Your sister has taught you, to make you more of a woman. To feel like a girl. Your hands shake as the coldness of the makeup touches your face. After a while it's done. You don't like it.

"..."

Your silence makes your mind swirl, why did you have to be feminine for him?

He only sees you as a girl.

You slowly walk to your room, you need a dress. Your closest was empty, filled with nothing but a single outfit. Your school uniform. Looking behind you, the pile of clothes mocks you, the face laughing at your struggles. Even when you leave the room, you can hear its mockery. Your sister has clothes.

Your head peeks into her empty room. She's out for collage. She won't mind. Your hands shake once more as they search her outfit, pulling out a black dress, and you instantly put it back. To revealing. Then, a dress that was a cute brown one, it was perfect! Once it was one you patted it down, making sure it fit before standing in the middle of the room. It felt disgusting to wear.

"Its cold outside...

You walked to her dresser, getting some legging and picking one of her flat black shoes. Your hands grasped the dress as you made eye contact with yourself in her mirror. That wasn't you...you weren't a girl. Would Itadori like it? Would he hate it? What if he did see you as a boy? Would he be disappointed and not want to go out anymore?

"..."

Your eyes trail down to your chest, suddenly feeling uncomfortable at the sight of your own body. Why...Why did you have them? It was unnecessary, men don't have breasts, why did you?

"...he'll be here soon"

You walked out of your sisters room and back to yours, your phone was ringing.

"Hello?"

It was Itadori.

"Yeah...I'll be out in a second,"

You stood there for a moment, staring at your messy bed. Where you ready? With a shaky sigh you walked outside. Itadori was at the door. He stared at you for a moment, looking you up and down with a blank expression.

You eyed him nervously, did he not likeit? Should you change? He didn't like it. He didn't see you as a girl. No like this. You miss read him, he doesn't like it. He doesn't like the dress. He doesn't like the make up. He doesn't like you.

"You look nice, here, these are for you."

What?

Flowers. A beautiful bouquet of colorful flowers. Your eyes widened, the sun shining perfectly into your eyes to make them shine. Itadori smiled.

"For...me?"

You breath hitched, reaching out to grab the flowers. A small smile spreads on your face as you hold them.

"I...I think I have a vase? Yeah, you can come inside and wait while I get it."

Itadori followed you inside, looking around happily. As you got a vase, Itadori saw your room, eyes narrowing slightly as he peeked inside. He noticed the pills, and his eyes widened. Was that yours? You froze as you saw him looking at the mess that you call yours. A small cough got his attention.

"That...that's my sister's room, she's at collage right now, so is...a mess"

Itadori nodded, closing the door and smiling at you.

"Oh, what's her major?"

You can't remember. She didn't tell you. No one told you anything. Your eyes moved to her 'room' thinking before looking back at him.

"...Um...art."

Itadori nodded, glancing at the door before gesturing back at the front door. You gave him a smile back and walked out. Did he believe it? Did he think your a lair? Does he like you? No. He's just mocking you.

"How do you feel about horror? There's a new horror movie that came out and I've been dying to see it!"

He looked over at you. His smile so bright it looked fake. Yet he looked so excited to see this movie, just like when you agreed to go out with him. Or when he talked to one of his friends.

"Yeah...that's fine,"

He looked so happy. How does he do it? You leaned back in the seat, staring down at your hands. With a shaky sigh, you tugged the dress down, looking out the window to not remind yourself that he only saw you as a girl. The drive was quiet. He didn't even turn on music! Weird...

The theaters was big, you weren't use to it. Walking behind him slowly you wrapped your arms around yourself, suddenly moving them away when your fingers touch the ribs along your skin, a silent reminder. Itadori grasped your hand, pulling you into the theater gently. His hands were so warm.

"Your cold, do you want my jacket? It's kinda chilly"

Itadori tugged your hand into his pocket after a moment of silence, giving you a small smile as he caressed your knuckles with his thumb. Your eyes stayed on his feet, matching his steps so you don't stumble into him. He kept you grounded. Even if that meant having to watch him walk for you to walk. When he stopped and got some popcorn you denied, he liked confused before his face lit up.

"Oh! Do you wanna be like one of those cute couples that share a drink and popcorn?"

No. That's not it. But he seemed so happy at the though he giggled and tugged you along after giving you the drink. He must be happy to not have to spend more money on you. You followed behind him with hurried steps, he was so fast it made your calves ache. Your mind suddenly zoned in on the feeling of his hand, it was bigger, stronger, healthier...it felt wrong to hold it. Shouldn't he be holding someone else's hand? Someone...healthier? Someone who didn't lie to him? Someone who was a true girl...

"..."

Itadori pulled you into the middle row of the seat, going on and on about the movie and how the seats were perfect. He was so happy. He was happy because he can finally watch the movie. Not you. He'd be happier if he was on a date with a pretty girl, of the girl he stares at, the girl who's on his background, the girl he'd talk about, the girl who's music ge listens to. A girl. He'd be happier with a girl.

"..."

Your body turned to the screen, watching it go by as if he was just a flap book. Your eyes looked down to your legs, your body suddenly getting hot and your breath picking up. Itadori was silent, only the sounds of him eating popcorn could be heard. You slowly stood up.

"I'm going to the bathroom..."

Your voice shook and trembled. Itadori gave you a thumbs up. Your feet almost tripped over each other as you rushed to the bathroom. Your body practically slammed into the bathroom. Your body slammed against the door, staring at yourself in the mirror. Suddenly, everything freezes. Your eyes shake as you stare at yourself, slowly pushing yourself off the door and walking towards the mirror. The longer you stared, the more your breathing picked up. Time seemed to freeze as a tear ran down your cheek.

"..."

Your hand reached up, wiping away the tear as you turned around.

"Itadori...he's waiting for me"

Your turned around and left the bathroom, not looking at the people you wake by. When you sat next to Itadori he looked over at you shocked. Panic filled you again as he stared at you.

"I thought you left me, glad you came back"

Your heart sank, had he noticed? Had he cared? He didn't care, he was just making you feel bad.

"Sorry, Itadori...I...I had some stomach problems"

Itadori giggled, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, tugging you close.

"Call me, Yuji."

He gave you a large smile that seemed to clear your mind from doubts. Cleaning it out. With a slow nod you smiled, hesitantly leaning into his touch.

"Yuji..."

He glanced at you with a smile. The movie went by quickly, but your mind was occupied with Yujis touch. It filled you with euphoria. You can enjoy this.

When the movie ended, your heart sank. It meant you'd have to go home to go away from Yuji once more. He drove you home, chatting the whole way there. He wouldn't stop. He was so happy. You couldn't help the adoring look on your face as you listened to him. The small on your face felt foreign. It's been so long that your face ached for another smile. Yuji was quiet as he pulled into your drive way, looking over at you.

"We should do this again some time, I feel like there's so much more to you. Your a mystery to me,"

Was that a problem? Should you have been more open? The worry on your face much have been noticable as he suddenly looked panicked and his hands flew up.

"I-I love mysteries! That's what I do!"

Your let out a small sigh of relief, giving him an awkward smile.

"Oh...right,"

You could see how Yuji felt bad, he bit his cheeks, you could see it. He rubbed his face, thinking for a moment before looking down.

"sorry...I didn't mean to upset you,"

Your eyes widened, gulped quietly as you nodded. Keeping your hands in your lap. He looked at you again, giving a small smile. You got out of the car, walking around. Before you got to your steps he peeked his head out of the window.

"Hey! If...if you do think we can do another date could I...possibly get a kiss?"

The look on your face made him wave his hands again out of panic.

"L-Like on the cheek! Nothing to much..."

Really? He wanted a kiss from you? No, he just wanted to be able to tell his friends he had a kiss. Walking over to him you hesitanted before leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. He stared at you, face growing bright red before he smiled brightly and returned the kiss. It was your turn to blush as his lips brushed against yours, he didn't seem to notice he kissed your mouth instead of your cheek. Right? He wouldn't want to kiss you. Gulping you gave a small smile and stepped away. Your hands shook as you unlocked your front door.

"...maybe...maybe he does like me"

Maybe you just missed he glances he gave you, maybe you just missed when he'd look over to see if your looking, maybe you missed when he'd stare as you walked by. Maybe...maybe he did like you, maybe he truly sees you as boy.

"..."

That's foolish.

~

[A/n:Juicy was my background sound to this. I don't know what possed me to write this. I hope you enjoyed]

[lunarcat982]

I’ve prob said this before but I loveeee crop tops cos they’re so feminine, but they also rly make my chest feel so flattt, so it’s this rly rly weird blend of euphoria and dysphoria kinda battling each other lmao

[am-i-a-boy-or-a-crybaby]

adam

Stuff my throat with apples

Coat my ribs in fire

Strike my face with cold metal

Make my body one I wish to stay in

Make my voice one that I can bear

Match my brain and soul

Catch my physique up to my heart

-grayson h

[worthless-misery]

Dear diary...

I wish I could feel okay with my body. Even just a little bit.

It really feels like a prison...

[roukabi]

Everybody loves a winner

so nobody loved me

[magpiethepunkfairy]

Just a reminder because I know I needed it

Your friends don't hate you!!!!!

They don't hate you, their not ignoring you, they don't secretly wish you'd fall off the face of the earth

Their probably just busy, they've got work or therapy or family stuff

They might be in a really strong hyper fixation, or got caught up in a special interest

Their not wishing you'd stop existing, or mad at you, they don't think you're evil and horrible

They just forget to reach out sometimes, maybe they also feel like you might hate them

Maybe their having a flare up, or going through an episode, or dealing with a hundred other things

But they do Not hate you

I don't hate you

Take a shower, eat some food, maybe drink some water, maybe take a nap

Open a window, take a walk, go for a drive

If you're feeling really brave?

Text them, call them, send a voice message

I believe in you, I believe in us

[dayangaytransman]

Warnings: mention of Transphobia, Homophobia, Self harm, Suicide, Gender Dysphoria and depression

I translated this with the help of AI so I don't know how much of it is correct. Sorry for bad english

I just want to share this; otherwise, I might do something that makes everyone upset

I am a Trans man/Transmasc/Genderfluid person. I use any pronouns except She/Her.

In my country, they won't let me transition, but they also don't want me near them pre- transition

I tell doctors and people who say they can help me that I need testosterone.

But they tell me if they give that to me, I will have a beard and I will regret it! I want a beard! WTF!

A doctor said to me that he cannot give me testosterone, but I can buy it and inject it myself! They don’t sell medicines like that without a doctor’s permission.

I look like a woman, or a 12-year-old cis boy.

I am 19 years old

And when people meet me, a grown man, they see a child and act accordingly. They call me little and short, and I can’t tell people in public how old I am, but they always ask.

I hate myself because I don’t look like the grown man I am. I am 153 cm and 42 kg. I am short, skinny, and have a baby face.

I sometimes present as feminine, and when I do, people in public say unkind things to me. They even try to harm me.

I live in a place where the government executes gay men and I am afraid when they see me as a gay boy.

I live in a Muslim country, so they expect me to wear a hijab, even though I am not Muslim.

I can’t transition here, even if they allow it. The doctors don’t know what they’re doing. I don’t want to be a laboratory mouse. Once, the most famous doctor was accused of killing a person just from a mastectomy! I want a healthy, beautiful, normal body.

I can’t travel for transition because I am very poor, and in my country, even $10,000 is a lot. Even with 100 years of working, I couldn’t accumulate that much money.

But they won’t even let me work or study! Many LGBTQIA+ people here have been expelled from school.

In my country, a trans person is a psychopath. Many of us don’t have an ID ( of our true gender) , and we can’t live like this.

I can’t attend classes, such as an art class, or visit any doctor. They require an ID, and even when they don’t, I don’t want to out myself or have them touch and examine my body.

I experience all forms of dysphoria that exist. I am dealing with depression, childhood trauma, ADHD, social anxiety, among other issues.

I tried to kill myself twice. I have left school. I don’t want to leave the house, but I am trying to change these things, and I can’t seem to do so.

And you know what? Nobody cares!

Do you think all transgender individuals speak English and reside in countries that are friendly to the queer community?

I cannot create a GoFundMe here; there is no supportive organization or similar entity available. Everyone here hates me and can easily kill me.

I am gay, and my relationships have always been toxic.

Men do not perceive me as a man.

My father left me; my mother just doesn’t care about me, and my brother is my biggest enemy.

I cry every day, and I don’t know if I want to be alive anymore. When I tell all my friends and family, even those who can see my tears, they don’t care.

I don't know what to do.

I see people on the internet who just need to turn 18 to transition, try a little bit harder, or travel to another city.

I do not have these privileges. I have wanted testosterone for four years and have tried to obtain it in the way the government indicated, but they have not provided it to me.

I hate my chest, My high, My face, My... My everything

I feel inadequate because I am unable to study, work, or even travel to see my boyfriend and best friend.

I remain alive because if I were to die, there would be no one to feed my cat. He/it is all I have in this world.

People often ask whether I am a girl or a boy. They always tell me that I am short and small, and insist that I can’t be older than they are.

I AM A GROWN ASS MAN!

Imagine calling Tom Ellis or Henry Cavill cute, little, and girlish.

And when my gender changes because I am genderfluid, it gets worse. And I don't feel like a woman.

Nobody here understands what ‘non-binary’ means.

They don’t understand the meaning of ‘trans’ either.

They refer to us by a term that I cannot repeat because it is an offensive word. A bad word that means: a person who is a prostitute has two genitals and is mentally insane. And they want transgender individuals to fully transition. Otherwise, they won’t give them an ID. And who do you think are the ones who say who is trans and who is not? The government! Actually, it’s the psychologists, but mostly the government. You need to prove yourself to them, and I tried hard, but I failed.

Even my family doesn’t see me as an adult—a man who is 19 years old.

Most of the day, I talk to AI because it is kind and knows what it is doing.

Here people think we are sex workers. That Trans people are always horny!

I have dysphoria, so I am not horny, even when I want to be. I can't even masturbate. I can't even look at it.

Here if they find out, they can send me to jail because I am an AFAB person without Hijab. All the people here are transphobic and I can't do shit about it.

And... Nobody in the world cares... I have no doubt that you do not even know the geographical location of my country.

Queer people in my country are the most miserable people on the planet. And they are against each other more than anywhere else. Gay men don't want me around them here ,same as Trans men. And they all hate non-binary people, Polyamorus people and people like me who have more than 10 labels.

I want to grow one day and become an artist, a writer, and an LGBTQIA+ activist. But also I want to kill myself. I want to become manly, sexy, hairy, and big But on the other hand, I want to hurt myself. I want to study philosophy, literature, and languages, but I also hate them because they don’t include someone like me.

I want to write LGBTQIA+ stories in my native language to contribute to my community. But this is illegal here.

I want to do anything and everything, but I know all of this is a dream, and just a dream

All I can do is cry and wonder if I should kill myself

I am sorry if this makes you upset, but I need to say these things to the world.

I wish I were AMAB, or if not, a wealthy person so I could transition. And if not that, then Canadian, European, or even American, so the transition would not be just a dream. Or if I am none of these, at least to not have all the dysphoria in the world, from top to bottom, from voice to face, to height to hips to…

Why? Just... Why?