#childhood psychosis

[strawberrybabydog]

hmm i really wish childhood psychosis was easier to study because the longer im in psychotic spaces the more i see there's a really clear and obvious difference between me (earliest memories include psychosis and psychotic trauma) and the regular psychotics who develop it as a late teen/early adult

theres at least something to be said about the way we double bookkeep & how childhood psychotics seem to have significantly less attachment to Reality, something it seems to me like most psychotics eventually return to or are able to keep in touch with, unlike childhood psychotics who dont seem like we're able to do this whatsoever

when i say i live in a constant state of psychosis, i mean, i experience trauma related to my psychosis 3+ times a day, every single day, with 0 fluctuation as to how im perceiving things. not one day of my entire memorable life has passed without objects talking to me and me understanding this is a normal part of my life. i think adult psychotics are able to disconnect and say "this ISNT part of my life, this is terrifying, i want this to end" which creates a new trauma that as a child psychotic i do not experience. for me this is the default, it's never been any other way because that just isnt possible

maybe TLDR, in childhood psychosis there is some level of acceptance of our reality that carries with us into adulthood, and commonly from what ive seen and heard from adult psychotics, they deeply reject their reality because they understand and have experience living differently

[neuroticboyfriend]

me at 12 years old telling the school psychologist how i'm an alien/angel and not to tell my parents because i don't want them to know they're not my real parents (god is): anyway i have to go to class now

the school psychologist:

[ID: A gif of Dwight from The Office nodding slowly with a bewildered expression on his face /End ID]

[bloodof-christ]

Childhood Friend

One of our first consistent hallucinations. Dark shadow figures with static flying around them, little black dots buzzing around them.

Saw them everyday in eighth grade (13/14 years old).

Followed us around. Sat on the couch and watched while we played CS:GO. They sounded like intelligible whispers and static overlaying their words. Often didn't understand them.

They weren't malevolent. Pretty chill. Got used to them. Never felt comfortable with trying to touch them. Felt rude.

[its-simply-just-krys]

[spookietrex]

[cantsleep]

[good-to-drive]

I totally agree with the general consensus that Ringo provided a lot of emotional support and coolheadedness to the other beatles to the point where they'd have probably killed each other without him but I do also wonder sometimes how much of that is being supernaturally patient and easygoing and how much of it is Ringo just having a tumultuous and isolated childhood where he was never taught to recognize and assert his own emotional needs so he became a blank slate on which others could process their emotions

(And tbh I also wonder how an inability to access or assert his feelings may have contributed to his tendency to process pain by numbing himself and the pretty shitty way he treated women)

[n0n-binarypixie]

Via lobot0myhousewife on TikTok

[ghostlyschizophrenic]

looking back on my childhood objectively and with the insight of knowing what my schizoaffective psychosis symptoms are, i realize that most people weren’t just constantly terrified of everything growing up. they didn’t develop multiple UTIs from holding their pee at night because they thought someone was waiting in the bathroom to kill them. they didn’t calculate all the ways they could hide in their room if someone broke into the house and went over these steps in their heads for hours every night. they didn’t lose sleep over the feeling of bugs crawling around inside their bodies. they didn’t have this terror in their lives before they even hit double digits and by the gods am i sad for young me that he had to deal with it

[n0-al-3n8y]

entirely stopped talking to anyone so making bad meme I guess

[b-writing-777]

Hello, childhood.

Childhood was never over.

It never even began.

Perhaps we were born this way,

Cursed to grow into our inevitable selves,

The horrors of our very own lives.

The very things we swore to never be.

This circle will always end at the beginning.

So I bid you farewell,

& I step into the ruins of my youth,

Looking for answers,

Looking for life.

Goodbye, childhood.

& hello.

[neuroticboyfriend]

i often feel lonely irt being schizo-spec & psychotic because i have very early onset schizoaffective disorder. i began experiencing magical thinking at 9, clinical psychosis at 11, and cognitive decline began thereafter. i just kind of grew up depressed and schizophrenic. but i didn't know anyone else like me. i still don't, and it hurts.

so to any other childhood schizospecs & psychotics, i see you and you aren't alone. you deserve support, autonomy, and safety, just like everyone else. please remember to be a little kinder to yourself, alright? you've been through so much, so young. it's okay to take things slow, to take breaks, and to follow an unconventional path. you don't have to be "normal." you're wonderful just as you are.

[flirts-with-dragons]

Things on tumblr I'm tired of as a severely mentally ill person:

- people saying "kys" to other people

- untagged triggers, or triggers tagged with a censor/uncommon variation

- nondisordered people forcing themselves into disordered communities

- being unable to block ads that trigger me

- still being able to see posts that I've tag filtered or from a person I've blocked

[xexiar]

Character Analysis: Bakugou Katsuki. Part 2

As always: Disclaimer: This is for fun. I am not a professional psychiatrist, nor claim to be. These are my thoughts and opinions. If you do not agree, thank you for at least reading, but DO NOT comment!

Bakugo Katsuki from conflict to acceptance.

Note: How I interpreted these two panels is that it’s read as one. Basically these emotions are something they BOTH share.

But let me bring to your attention the bottom two words. Rejection and Inferiority.

During our brief interactions with the Bakugous I have noticed a very strong disconnect between them. Mainly how they speak about Katsuki. Especially when it came to the kidnapping incident. 

Mitsuki flat out vocally blames Katsuki due to his own weakness. And even going as far as to state how he’s at fault for getting caught. This is very problematic. How often does Katsuki get blame for the smallest mistakes? Even if it wasn’t his fault?

This comes back to that childhood belief of being “perfect”. If even in your own home you’re constantly judged by your every action. Not being able to relax in a place that’s supposed to be safe.

The gimmick of the mother’s love language being hitting and badmouth can have a great impact on how a child views themselves. Outside of home people are praising you, but at home you’re constantly being put down for the smallest of mistakes. Then when even the outside world starts pointing out your flaws you can feel trapped. A child would even develop constantly being in fight or flight mode with every interaction they face with.

In Katsuki case, he is constantly in fight mode. Consistently needing to be at the ready. If it’s not one thing it’s another. And the disconnect goes even farther with how Mitsuki brings up how everyone makes a fuss about Katsuki.

From Katsuki being praised for everything and people fussing about how things came easy to him. During this moment Mitsuki does show how she was concerned and grateful for Aizawa’s speech. Proving she does care for Katsuki and probably doesn’t realize that she may have caused him harm with how she speaks to him.

We also witness how uncomfortable Katsuki is with touch. Which usually points to a negative association with such actions. At that, when looking back at other moments where touch is an important interaction, Katsuki show signs of confusion to the notion.

So, along with a bad association with touch, constantly being rejected at the slightest mistake, along with being told he’s perfect, this all can be overwhelming for a child to grow up with. It’s also provides an explanation to why Katsuki is horrible at expressing himself.

If the only emotion that is accepted of you is anger, then that’ll be the only thing you’ll be able to publicly display. Between the fall as a child and starting high school, Katsuki has been emotionally stunted. He’s not able to handle his emotions outside of what he been allowed. He’s basically constantly angry because that’s the only acceptable way he can express.

So, when Katsuki gets to UA, he’s not physically and intellectually challenged. The metaphorical wall he keeps hitting is the overwhelming emotions. He expresses his anger for failing at things he knows he shouldn’t. He let’s his previous knowledge override his judgement of a situation.

Then when Katsuki deals with being wrong he goes into panic mode. Which makes him fail more than if he was to keep a level head. But he doesn’t know how to do so. Especially when nobody has taught him. When everyone only praises you or reject you for the smallest mistake then all you learn is that nobody will help you.

The ideal of perfection and learning that he’ll always be on his own is the driving force of him refusing Izuku’s existence. Because of Izuku existence provides everything Katsuki been told to be true. So to challenge those beliefs feels like he’s failing.

At that, he prides in himself when he’s able to complete a challenge. So when the challenge goes against everything he believes in, he is conflicted and his emotions takes over.

To have someone see that he’s not perfect, isn’t just hurting Katsuki’s ego. For a brief moment he is seen as a person and doesn’t know how to perceive such an action.

——

Part 1 Part 3

[eclaire-went-bam]

i genuinely can't remember a single point in my life where i completely didn't have at least some symptoms of psychosis (which tbf isn't saying a lot because most of the time i can't remember a lot but i mean like. In what i Do recall) and that makes me wonder

where did childhood overactive imagination end and psychosis began? was i simply Spawned with psychosis and experienced it in hand with imagination?

do i not have psychosis, and just an overactive imagination still?? /j /j /j

[louiskechi]

people are constantly talking about how “all these kids online are faking disorders” because of outdated statistics showing how rare it is, but i feel like what doesn’t get acknowledged is how psychosis specifically is likely on the rise because of the effect growing up on the internet has on a person. kids are constantly being groomed or exposed to traumatizing shit (raise your hand if someone at school showed you a porn or snuff video because they thought it was funny)

we don’t have a lot of studies (to my knowledge) specifically on the effects of childhood development linked to social media, but we have a lot of studies pointing to how quickly the internet can cause people to believe in the most outlandish conspiracies. i don’t think it’s a stretch to say that psychosis and psychotic trauma disorders are likely becoming more common because of the internet