#dating shenanigans

[centuryberry]

What are some of their attempts to convince Wukong? What Modern dating methods do they try (and occasionally butcher)? Old ones that don't quite translate (or Wukong pulls Amnesia)?

I sense shenanigans.

(And also have been struck by the image of Wukong opening a door to find one of the trio laying in bed with a "F*ck me" sign above them.)

(I was then subsequently struck by the image of Wukong responding, "Uhhhhh, I can't read? *closes door*"

When RinRin, Macaque, and Shanzha started their attempts in luring their husband to bed, they were completely blatant…in traditional standards.

Romantic gestures in that era were subtle. A simple exchanging of gifts would be a proclamation of eternal love. And there are so many secret languages: the language of flowers, the language of fans, etc.

(Warning: Slightly suggestive)

RinRin preferred slipping in sly, subtle innuendos in conversations and teasing Wukong like she used to do when they were young. She also likes using food as a tool to be touchy and suggestive. (Those poor bananas.)

Macaque would drag Wukong out to walks in the garden and anywhere else pretty. He would cling onto his arm during walks while wearing all the pretty hairpins and jade pendants that OG!Wukong had gifted him throughout the years of their marriage.

Unlike the other two, Shanzha doesn’t have any history with Wukong and is in an unstable position, so she’d be less blatant. She’d show off her skills in archery and would spar with him to encourage contact. She’d also wear clothing that would turn slightly sheer with enough sweat during these sessions.

When all of this didn’t work, the three of them would outright ask Wukong to come visit their rooms.

All of this, of course, flew over Wukong’s modern head. The first time he accepted, he thought it was a sleepover. Shanzha and RinRin were too shocked to correct him when he visited them for the night (he tried to recreate scrabble lol) but Macaque doubled down and scared Wukong off when he made it clear what he invited him into his room for.

It was a little heartbreaking for Macaque but that sting was quickly eased when Wukong came to him with flowers the next morning and babbled about his amnesia. He played dumb and would continue to play dumb.

Unfortunately, upon every “failure,” the three became more and more bold. (Thus, the hilarious scenario you painted in your ask. They had to spell it out for him at that point.)

When it was revealed that Wukong came from another world and time, everything clicked. They shifted gears. Instead of approaching all of this like spouses, they would then approach this as suitors. This would be a courtship.

After wiggling as much info about modern day courtship, they took a try at this “dating” thing. It was…fun. There was a bit of flower giving and hand holding. They would watch plays together with snacks (a try at a movie date). They would try to make homemade food with varying results (RinRin and Macaque burnt their offerings). They snuck out of the palace in disguises once to have a casual date without the pressures of court.

(Though they did bungle up the “Netflix and Chill” idea and flustered the hell out of Wukong lmao. Yue only added that one as a joke.)

Wukong would see all this effort and be so, so flustered and yet so, so happy. He’s a bit of a romantic so he’s a bit of a sap about these things. Even if the results aren’t perfect, he appreciates the effort and he tries to reciprocate traditionally (though the three are beyond subtleties at this point and prefer the modern straightforwardness.)

[lowkeyrobin]

could you just do some Wyatt oleff hcs abt him being reader's bf? famous uni pleasee

okay yeah sure, I can do that! ; very excited to have a wyatt request lol ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy!

WYATT OLEFF ; dating shenanigans

summary ; dating stuff w wyatt

warnings ; language

word count ; 403

masterlist

jfc there's sooo many edits

theyre adorable tho

you both love being stupid and funny

you share a playlist of just meme/unserious songs for the bit

you have a comedy yt channel where you act out dumb shit and talk about funny things / look at old files/notes of yours that are awfully horrendous

you both love taking hikes in the fall

it's so hozier core (take this lightly hozier stans I'm one of you)

Deadpool is on the TV 24/7

your Instagrams are just mountains of pics of each other lmfao

and you're always hyping up each other's projects, whether ur working together or not

you met on the set of IT and were just friends for a while

what I'd give to go back to IT prime omfg

then you, him, and sophia moved to ianowt (it wasn't canceled just for this bit so welcome to another timeline)

you played stans love interest in the weird love square thing

lemme tell u those editors can WORKKKK

after the first season you guys lowkey started dating

after you confirmed ur relationship, ppl started shipping stan (uris) and ur character in it a lot more

they were always around but even more now since u made it canon for shits and giggles

you were the first to confess

he's oblivious tbh

after the first season of ianowt ended, you had to just get it off yr chest cause you couldn't function anymore u just needed an answer

you took him to a bakery he'd never been to, got food, and drove around for a while and took in the scenery

you stopped at a park and hung out before you just asked him

and he said yes 🙏🙏

he's not big on pda like a 3/10

he'll hold ur hand and stuff but that's it

he's not all that jealous either, like a 1/10

he couldn't care less

unless he needs to step in when someone's being weird

just ask for an autograph don't be freaky 😭

but there's a soft blanket of trust covering your relationship, there's nthn to worry about

and finally some songs to fit the vibe

into your eyes ; secret wonder

sunlight ; hozier

would that i ; hozier

home ; good neighbors

dreams ; fleetwood mac

silver springs ; fleetwood mac

somewhere in my heart ; aztec camera

poison ; bell biv devoe

cloudbusting ; kate bush

[leoandbeholdclark]

I'm tired of trying to date. At this point if there's someone out there for me, they'll find me through the grapevine 🍇 Or they'll call out to me like someone trying to get their cat's attention.

[cursed-sheep]

Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo🐀✨

Bonus:

[meowsgirldrawing]

Many Kisses~ (PolyAU! Obey me!)

Note: I got no excuse for the last one, the demons just love their human too much <3 (And MC is just loving life)

[mammons-lover]

MC is in a heated argument with someone in the human realm.

MC: I’ll see you in hell, bitch!

Random Person: Not if I see you first!

MC (smirking): Oh, I’ve got an all-access pass. It’s on sight when I see you!

(A couple of weeks later, MC is out shopping with the brothers.)

MC (noticing someone in the distance): Is that— Oh, shit, it’s them!

Lucifer (trying to catch up): MC, where are you running off to?

Mammon (confused): Do they know that person— Wait, did MC just hit them?!

MC (smirking as they stand over the random person): I told you I’d see you in hell!

Random Person (shocked): How the hell— You're?...

MC (leaning in): All-access pass, bitch!

MC turns to the brothers, grinning.

Lucifer (sighs): What am I going to do with you?

Mammon (grinning): Remind me never to get on your bad side!

(I would love to say see you in hell, and then go to 13 and ask when they're going to die, and when they get to devildom, I'm the first thing they see and I’m like “I told you so”)

[l3viat8an]

MC:*Limping out of Levi's room* Ouch…

Asmo: Oh-ho~ and just what were you two doing in there?

MC: Not what you think!

Levi:*Walking out of his room, looking down at his D.D.D.* Hey MC, look! I found another position we can try!!

Asmo:*winks at MC* Right….it's totally not what I was thinking~

MC: Jojo poses…

Asmo…what?

Levi: MC and I have been trying Jojo poses!!!

Asmo…….oh..

[ghosty-scribblings]

Okay I am just gonna throw something out because I got to thinking about and what is this blog for if not to yell into the void?

Danny gets hired as a janitor at the Daily Planet. It's just a job, something to make money and not clash schedules with his Metopolis Community College classes. But while working there he meets this reporter who is definitely also not fully human.

Does danny care? Nah. Not causing problems. None of his business. Not his circus not his monkeys.

But imagine the hijinks.

Clark? Initially confused but also glad at meeting someone so chill? One story about the ecto-weenies later and he has to know more. Let these two goobers bond over "what is my life" and "ya got a little not normal right there." This Danny guy is just a chill civilian friend he doesn't have to hide from.

And Danny? Staying-in-his-lane and sleep-deprived-college-studenting so hard he doesn't even realize his fellow not-baseline-human friend is Superman. Clark is just his friend who is also trying to be Normal.

[notcreative360]

*In the library, with the Anti-Lucifer League..*

Satan: Alright time to make plans to absolutely ruin, and destroy Lucifer. Got any plans?

Belphie: We could put a curse on his pillow so he'll end up having nightmares every time he sleeps.

Satan: Ok, not bad, not bad. Mc? How about you?

Mc: Glitter.

Satan: Wha? Glitter? How is glitter supposed to ruin Lucifer?

Mc: We explode him with glitter in his room. Not only will it be a big hassle to clean off, BUT he will find glitter everywhere, everytime. Because once glitter gets on something, it never leaves. It will also keep finding random places to appear, he'll see glitter for centuries, hehehehe.

Belphie: ..You devilishly little sheep~

Satan: Alright lets do it!

[superbat-love]

Clark: Should we really be here?

Bruce: What is it, Clark? Do you not want to be on a date with me?

Clark: I do! But it feels weird to be following Cass and her date like this.

Bruce: We’re not following them, we just happen to be in the same vicinity. Bowling is my hobby.

Clark: …Sure. Anyway, he seems like a nice guy.

Bruce: Hmph. He may be big and tall, but I bet those muscles are just for show. Even Damian could take him on.

Clark: Damian is a trained assassin.

Bruce: Eat your strawberry crêpe, Clark.

Clark: Bruce, why are there police officers talking to Cass?

Bruce: Ha! I knew there was something suspicious about that guy.

Clark: They’re heading this way.

Officer: Sirs, we’ve received a police report about two suspicious-looking men in Hawaiian shirts and sunglasses stalking a pair of teenagers. Please come with us to the police station for further questioning.

Bruce: Stalking a pair of- That’s my daughter!

Clark: Can I finish my crêpe? I don’t want to waste good food.

[qcomicsy]

If batkids had a podcast XVI

Red hood: Just us today?

Nightwing: Just us today.

Red hood (laughing) I wonder why–

Nighwing: Dude– (laughing as well)

Red hood: I–

Nightwing: Dude don't do it–

(just both of them chuckling)

Red Hood (close to the mic): They're grounded.

Nightwing: (CACKLES)

Nightwing (crying): This is not funny

Red Hood: This is hilarious.

Red Hood: Were last survivors of our kind. . .

Red Hood: Adults.

Nightwing: Adults.

Red Hood: He can't ground us anymore.

Nighwing, chuckling: He can't ground us anymore

Red Hood:

Red Hood: Fuck.

Nightwing:

Red Hood: We're b– (pause) We're both the oldest now.

Nightwing: Yeah– You, me and–

Red Hood, at the same time: Yeah– (pause) This is so surreal

Nightwing: You think?

Red Hood: Yeah. Dude – I was. . . I was the youngest.

Nightwing: Oh your sweet summer– I was a only child.

Red Hood: (Cackles)

Nightwing: It really isn't that weird to me.

Red Hood: Really?

Nightwing: Yeah– I was always the oldest man.

Nightwing: I was the oldest of my team

Red Hood: What?!

Nightwing: Yeah!

Red Hood: You're fucking with me.

Nightwing: Nah man– I was the oldest. I am the oldest, I'm not dead.

Red Hood:

Red Hood: You're older than Arsenal?

Nightwing: I'm older than everybody man.

Nightwing: People look at me and assign me to take care of children.

Red Hood (imitating Damian voice): "Father genes"

Nightwing: HA– "father genes" (pause) Why are you looking at me like that?

Red Hood:

Red Hood: You're ancient.

Nightwing: IM NOT ANCIENT.

Red Hood: You're older than the Teen Titans, fucking older than Young Justice.

Nightwing: You're older than Young Justice

Red Hood: I was dead man it doesn't count.

Nightwing: Of course it does– How old are you?

Red Hood: How old are you?

Nightwing:

Nighwing: I– I am an adult.

Red Hood: Uh-huh.

Nightwing: In a reasonable age.

Red Hood: You're in your thirties aren't you?

Nightwing: NO

Nightwing:

Red Hood: You look like you're in your thirties– The bag under your eyes

Nightwing: Because I'm tired????

Red Hood: The hunched posture.

Nightwing: Hey I do not have hunched posture– Fuck you.

Nightwing: You try to take care of an entire team of teenagers just to end up taking care of more two and a grown ass depressed middle aged man.

Red Hood: That was Red–

Nightwing: That was Red. (pause) I would have fucking killed him.

Red Hood: Oh Definitely.

Nightwing: Point still stand man I'm tired.

Red Hood: Both of us.

Nightwing: Both of us– (chuckles) Robins if you're hearing this I love both of you and I would do it all over again. Titans– (closer to the mic) You know what you did.

Red Hood: (Cackles)

Red Hood (closer to his mic): You know your sins.

Nightwing (laughing): Flash owe me 30 dollars.

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[hughmanbean]

I Just Need a Little More Time!

I was inspired after remembering Dr. Facilier's final scene in The Princess and the Frog.

Ellie has stabilized, the Infinite Realms are (mostly) under control of the High Queen, and has shuttered itself away while Jack, Maddie, and Vlad got rid of the GIW. A few years later, after all this nonsense is taken care of, she goes back to wandering the Earth.

Danny, being the worrying mother he is, gives her a few lesser abilities that he has as High Queen, and tells her to visit every once in a while, or he'll send Dan to drag her back.

Ellie makes a show of rolling her eyes and sighing before hugging him and promising to visit. She leaves and roams the world as a sort of advisor about ghostly things and lover of all facets of the world.

She's approached one day by the Bats to help with one of their problems in Gotham, and they naturally sort of get closer. She even starts dating of of them (Damian, Cass? You can fiddle with the timelines and ages).

But during all of this, she forgets to visit for quite some time. Danny, worried, sends Dan to find her. He does a little salute "Yes, Mom!" and goes off, scheming.

This culminates in that scene where, you guessed it, Dan appears (quite menacingly, might I add) to drag Ellie back. 🎶Are You Readyyy?🎶

After all, she hasn't paid her dues to the Queen Mother yet, has she? Only one way to make up for that. You're coming with me. (Danny's going to be fussing over her for ages.)

[janahanooo]

Did I get inspired by the fact that I was all alone on Valentines day? Yes, so have something I made in my misery.

Mc: I live with seven VERY handsome men

Mc: meaning, I should have at least got something from them, BUT NOOoOooo

Mc: so I wasted a night of making chocolate for nothing!

Barbatos: oh Mc... have some more tea

Mc: *sob* Barbs, why does my love life suck?

Barbatos: *he know that the bros made chocolates for Mc but they were too scared to give it to them*

Barbatos: maybe next year my dear

Mc: *sob* yeah, maybe next year...

Diavolo: OH MC! Happy romantic feelings day!

Mc: *sob* Dia, it's called Valentines day

Diavolo: oh, then HAPPY VALENTINOS DAY

Mc: close enough... and thanks Dia.

Diavolo: have some chocolate and rose! Only the best for you!

Mc: ... you know barbs, I actually don't mind that I didn't get anything from them.

Barbatos: ...alright then. Shall I reserve a dinner for the two of you?

Diavolo: OOOOH, yes! I would like that! Mc, what do you think?

Mc: sure<3

Lucifer: where is Diavolo? *has come to give him the finished documents*

Barbatos: on a date

Barbatos: with Mc

Lucifer: ...oh.

Lucifer: *on the phone* Code red Mammon.

Mammon: *on the otherside of the call* on it boss!

Mammon: *yelling to the others* RELISE SATAN!

Satan: *demonic rampage*

[cursed-sheep]

Hunk of the summer🏖️

Is it just me, or did it just get hotter here?😮‍💨

[bluewolfangel01]

Lucifer: "Mc what are you doing?"

Mc: "nothing."

Lucifer: ...

Lucifer: "Beel, explain."

Beel: "They asked to sit on my shoulders to be tall."

Lucifer: "I see now. And why is it that you wanted to be tall Mc?"

Mc: "A strange innate desire for height and the high ground."

Lucifer: 😑

Lucifer: "And you agreed to this why Beel?"

Beel: "They made me food." 🥺

[mammons-lover]

It’s 3 a.m., and Mammon is fast asleep when he feels a dark presence hovering over him. He slowly opens his eyes to find Lucifer standing at the foot of his bed, looking displeased.

Lucifer: I know what you did.

Mammon (groggy and confused): Huh? What are you talking about?

Lucifer (sternly): You know exactly what I’m talking about, Mammon.

Mammon: It’s way too early for this… I didn’t do anything!

Lucifer (turning to leave): You better fix it before it’s time for classes, or you’ll be punished.

Lucifer leaves, and Mammon bolts up in a panic.

Mammon (to himself): Fuck, how does he know?!

Mammon hurries to Levi’s room, knocking frantically.

Mammon (whispering urgently): Levi, wake up!

Leviathan: Wh-what's going on?

Mammon: Lucifer knows...

Leviathan (sitting up, wide-eyed): What do you mean, he knows?

Mammon: He knows, Levi! We’ve only got a couple hours to fix this, or we’re doomed!

Leviathan: Damn it, Mammon! Fine, you get the others, and I’ll start working on it.

All the brothers gather in a storage unit filled with human realm items, clearly panicked about getting caught.

Belphegor (yawning): So where exactly are we moving all this?

Satan (irritated): First, who snitched?! Someone’s gotta fess up!

Mammon: Look, as much as I wanna know who ratted us out, we need to get this stuff outta here before Lucifer shows up. Let’s move it, now!

Leviathan: Move it where, genius?

Mammon (grinning smugly): I’ve got a spot in the human realm that me and MC—

Leviathan: Wait, you have a place with MC?!

Mammon: Not the time, Levi! It’s way too early for this!

Satan: We’re definitely talking about this later, Mammon.

The brothers frantically move everything, working together despite the early hour. After a tense operation, they return home, only to find Lucifer waiting for them by the front door, arms crossed and unimpressed.

Lucifer: So, where have you all been?

Asmodeus: Oh, we were just spending some quality time together!

Lucifer: (not buying it) Mammon.

Mammon: Y-yeah?

Lucifer: Did you fix what I told you to fix?

Mammon (trying to sound confident): Y-yes?

Lucifer: Really? Then why is the kitchen still a mess?

Mammon: Wait—you were talking about the kitchen?!

Belphegor (facepalming): Mammon, you idiot.

Mammon: In my defense, he wasn’t exactly clear, and I thought of the only reasonable explanation for him waking me up at 3 a.m.!

Lucifer: So, what were you all doing out at this hour?

All the Brothers (in unison, trying to act innocent) Nothing...