#dc comics shitposting

[black-canarys-vocalcords]

Me whenever I'm overstimulated:

[alrighty-vigilante]

It rarely occurs to us but comic book characters often have, like, PhD etc.

Felix Faust publish some papers and articles on monthly basis. Linguistics, anthropology, archeology, his name is everywhere. No one is sure whether is he the same person as the dude from 1910s and 1970s and 2020s.

Except for Black Adam, who knows it pretty damn well and constantly does whatever he can to find any sort of mistake, logic gap, just to mess with him.

Vandal Savage is aware who these two are and that he works with them way too often for his taste and whenever he feels especially spicy he drops some papers every now and then made specifically to disagree with them in the most annoying way possible.

Things get extra spicy when Wotan comes as they usually just read and collect the threads of articles.

Every one of them has evidences they cannot even show because they're not classified by scientists nor placed in the museum. Rest of the academic environment begs them to stop.

[incorrectbatfam]

The first rule of driving the Batmobile is to have fun and be yourself

[violent138]

Batman loses Robin at a Robin cosplay competition that's being used as a money laundering operation.

"Robin--" Bruce took in the many, many Robins around him. He can barely hear anything over the comms because of the noise.

Intercom moments later: "Richard, uh, who is also successfully cosplaying as Robin, your dad would like you to meet him by the water fountain in the east corner thanks."

[everwalldigan]

My favourite thing ever is when Jason is drawn to resemble Bruce because I KNOWW his ass would HATE it😭😭

Dick: hey Jason you haven’t forgotten our meet u— oh my god are you ok?? What happened?

Jason *rocking back and forth on the floor with a traumatised look in his eyes, whispering in horror* someone mistook me for Bruce in the grocery store today.

Random kid at a charity event pointing at Jason standing grumpily in a corner: who’s that?

Bruce (smiling fondly): that’s my son Jason!

Random kid: he looks like you! :D

Jason: *leaves the room*

Bruce (running after him): jason, Jason they didn’t mean anything by it, Jason, you’re going to jump off a balcony just because of a child’s observation Jason?

[blackbatest]

my most controversial batman opinion to date

[demonicsuffrage]

It's so wild when you think about how much of a shift the batkids had after they were adopted by Bruce, because NONE had a sibling and were like-

Dick, who accidentally walked into Tim's room, spotting the robin shrine he has there:

Tim: ...I can explain

Dick, walking out: Nevermind! It's my fault for wishing for siblings when I was a kid

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason: Who the hell tweeted 'skibidi toilet rizz' 56 times from my twitter?!

Tim, salty about the titans tower incident, laptop in hand still open to Jason's twitter account:

Jason:

Jason: I wish Bruce had adopted a puppy instead of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian, fuming after Bruce got them a shared hotel room on a vacation: I miss the days when I was an only child

Tim: Didn't your mom make like two thousand clones of you?

Damian: I would've preferred sharing my inheritances with all 2000 of them instead of you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick, entering his room at the manor after a patrol and spotting Duke on his bed and immediately shrieking: BRUCE, THERE'S A RANDOM KID IN MY ROOM

Bruce: Dick, this is your newest brother, Duke

Dick: And you gave him my room?!

Duke: Wow, the colour scheme in here is so 80s

Dick: Consider me and you estranged from now on

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Jason, unblock your brother, he is currently crying in the living room because of it.

Jason, had blocked Dick after the thirst trap Dick posted got over 100k views on tiktok and now everyone and their sibling was asking for Dick's number: What brother? I identify as an only child.

[lovesick-joey]

fyi your dad is a whor—

[ghoulysaphomet]

yeah, tim. watch your words

ignore that i cant count im too lazy to edit it now woops

psst.... damian designed dick a ponysona... which is totes the 4th panel... i didnt forget it no.....

think this is funny? check out the fanfic "Batchat" by Saphomet that inspired it!

[melucomarket]

Sometimes, it be like that, yfm?

[the-witchhunter]

Kon, having just found out one of Tim’s contingencies for him involves turning him into a worm

Kon: …

Kon: Hey Tim? Wo–

Tim: yes I’d still love you if you were a worm

Kon: I’m oddly okay with this plan

[timothvy]

based on a picture i saw on twitter

[alrighty-vigilante]

Sebastian Faust: would you slap you best friend for a million dollars?

Blue Devil: I would roundhouse kick you for free.

Sebastian Faust:

Sebastian Faust: ... I'm your best friend :)

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce once made an offhand comment about how no one wears watches anymore because they all use their phones to tell time

The next day Tim buys a smartwatch

Dick straps the hourglass he got from the dentist onto his wrist

Damian carries a bunch of candlesticks with nails in them and lights one whenever he needs a timer

Jason lugs around two industrial buckets of water to make a water clock

Steph gets an antique pocketwatch but it's carried around by a personal assistant that's coming out of Bruce's budget

Barbara buys a classroom clock and keeps it in her wheelchair pocket

Cass stands in a well-lit area and checks her shadow

Duke unearths a fifty-pound sundial and names it Duke II

Bruce no longer comments on Gen Z

[violent138]

Red Hood just starts shooting at a Robin and the goons lose their shit, because that's the equivalent of asking Batman to make time in his schedule to fuck you up.

Goon: "Boss, come on, maybe let's leave the kid alone--"

Jason, snatching someone else's gun so he can keep shooting into the shadows after the first one ran out: "That's right you better run, you piece of shit! If you ever dye my hair pink again I'll fucking end you!"

Goon:

[everwalldigan]

Bruce being a toxic boy mom when it comes to nightwing will never not be funny as fuck he is literally the biggest nightwing defender one bad word against him and the next day he’ll show up at ur house

Bonus: