#eupd splitting

[treehoused]

splitting is so funny because im taking it out on my pc and calling it a liar in a genuinely distressed way because. earlier it said i had an update and now it doesnt

[templetv]

the way I crave a parent who, not only loves me, but likes me, and notices me is so so embarrassing

[feeling-likeastranger]

So I keep it to myself— and it hurts

[borderlinesedation]

My girlfriend has so much patience with me and my stupid brain I do not deserve her

[eitoaotsuki]

The worst thing about bpd is you almost never know if you should trust your own emotions. Am I experiencing a Normal amount of sadness in response to this? Am I experiencing an Okay amount of anger in response to this? Is it okay to cry right now? Should I be experiencing This Emotion instead of That Emotion? Is this emotional response appropriate or do I look/sound crazy/manipulative? Would a non-bpd feel this intensely upset in response to this, or is the intensity of this distress a bpd symptom?

When you can't trust your own emotions you can't trust your own judgement. This person hurt me, should I stop talking to them forever or is that Too Much? Does the Punishment suit the Crime? You might ask a non-bpd person what they would do if they were in your shoes, but theres plenty of non-bpd people who honestly aren't good at making these judgements either!! Theres plenty of non-bpd people who are so emotionally unintelligent that they basically are just as incapable as you of understanding What They Feel. It sucks.

A bpd person will be lucky to find someone they can place their faith in to help them observe and decide if their feelings and actions are appropriate. Most of my family have problems like mine so I've realized I can't turn to them for this specific thing. They can and will tell me I should feel evil and guilty if my emotions/actions are Inappropriate which is Unhelpful. I can, however, depend on the most mellow, level-headed person I know; my girlfriend, whom I'm very grateful for. A good therapist is probably another good option for other bpds.

Disclaimer, *I'm* not a therapist and I dont claim to have any real education or knowledge about bpd or emotional unstability or whatever else, I just wanted to talk about maybe the most important realization I've made as someone with borderline and has had to deal with borderline family for my entire life.

[illuvial-dreams]

I really need advice from a close friend because it's about a close friend but it's about both close friends and the issue is neither seems to be talking to me.

lol.

[honestlyeclecticnightmare]

Everyday is a struggle to not end it all.

[treehoused]

bpd is so fucking stupid cause im splitting on my fp so i hate him and i hope he dies and im having very vivid fantasies of physically harming him. but i also keep checking if hes texted me and hoping he will because i still need his attention to survive even though i genuinely hate him right now

[templetv]

punching and kicking the air because I can't stop my inner dialogue repeating "I want my mum" even though, once again, she is the problem

[sotiredofendos]

Endos do not have alters/parts, and are not a system.

You cannot be a non-disordered system and you can’t have non-disordered alters/pars.

Alters are a byproduct of CDDs, not CDDs itself. CDDs are not just having alters. Being plural is not just having alters. Being a system is not just having alters. Alters aren’t just people in your head.

Alters aren’t egos, they aren’t separate people, they aren’t personalities.

“Alter identities are sometimes incorrectly referred to as ego states, or even alter egos, but these states exist in people without alters and do not involve amnesia, dissociative symptoms, or clinical distress.[1], [2] [6]:129” Read more

Everyone has ego states, everyone has different personalities. This is not what alters are. Alters are associated with amnesia, dissociation, and can cause clinically significant distress.

Alters are ONLY associated with DID, not any other disorder. Other disorders do not have alters.

"People with Complex PTSD, PTSD, and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD/EUPD) may have dissociative parts, but they are not alters. The dissociative parts in trauma-related BPD also differ significantly from the dissociative parts found in people with OSDD-1a, which are both more clearly defined (elaborated) and act more independently (emancipation) than those in BPD. People with Complex PTSD, PTSD including dissociative PTSD, BPD, Dissociative Amnesia and Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder do not have alters as a result of these disorders, alters are only present in people with DID and OSDD-1b.[1],[6] Non-dissociative disorders do not have the degree of dissociation found in dissociative disorders, and this degree of dissociation is needed for alters to form because alters are fully dissociated split-off parts of the self" Read more: https://traumadissociation.com/alters" Read more

Dissociative parts found in other disorders still have parameters. You cannot form a dissociated part from nothing, it is disordered.

Systems are caused by dissociation and trauma in early childhood.

“All the alters together make up the person's whole personality. Alters typically develop from dissociation caused by prolonged early childhood trauma, although attachment problems and persistent neglect in very early childhood are also known factors” Read more

Additional alters can created, only through trauma, and only if the person already has a complex dissociative disorder

Additional alters can also be created by traumatization in adulthood if the person already has a complex dissociative disorder. For example, an alter created to handle sexual abuse may be unable to cope with increasing levels of abuse, and may create other alters to handle some of that abuse." Read more

Alters from DID show up in image testing. Non-dissociative “alters” do not.

“Different alters have shown different results in neuroimaging tests, including functional magnetic resonance imaging activation, and brain activation and regional blood flow and differences in PET scans. The variability between alters is measurably greater than variability between non-dissociative people who are attempting to simulate alters." Read more

what some people don’t understand about plurality is that it’s not SUPPOSED to happen. plurality only exists in those who have had at ONE POINT in their life had did/osdd. it is a DISORDER, not something you put on your tumblr to identify yourself with. there is so much more with DID than just being plural and having alters, it’s the memory loss, the flashbacks, the dissociation.

[succubunniii]

geloyconception on ig

[nagichi-boop]

Friend: asks me if I’m okay

Me: vents to them about something I usually don’t vent to people irl about

Friends: keeps disappearing for a few minutes and then returning to reply with something that my brain perceives as invalidating

Me: sends a few more messages, trying not to get upset about the pauses between replies

Friend: disappears without warning and never responds to my last few messages

Me: splits

[lampshade-edison]

[templetv]

sorry I didn't text back, I was busy over analysing my life and trying to figure out why I was so innately unlovable as a child

[succubunniii]