#fuck ptsd

[onbearfeet]

The worst thing about having an anxiety disorder in the US is that you can have a big anxiety spike in line at the grocery store for no fucking reason, but because the grocery store has a giant walled-off liquor section with an armed guard at the door right by the checkout line, there is a nonzero chance you'll get shot if you start screaming and BOY IS THAT NOT HELPING.

[lesbiangummybearmafia]

Current mood... due to pms or state of my life or both I'm not sure.

[clothlog]

.

[whisperwillyou]

I still haven’t watched the last two episodes lol

Have a Noceda siblings sketch that I never finished

Luz really cartwheeled into the boiling isle and swiped the brother Belos has spent the last 400 years fine tuning and I have nothing but respect for her. 😌

[dragonpyre]

What I love about Jason Todd is that he's angry about his trauma. Life fucked him over and he's rightfully pissed off. We already have "healed from their anger" Dick Grayson and "ignores their emotions" Bruce Wayne. Thank you DC for giving us "hurt and upset and lashing out" Jason Todd.

[d-1hater]

honestly one of the main reasons I like dc is that they can’t keep a storyline straight for shit. anything I don’t like is just *not real*. that’s different storyline babes what are you talking about???

like at this point I can consider shit like wfa and hell even well written fanfics as canon bc who knows what’s going on with those funky little people?? certainly not the dc writers

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

[rainywhispersblog]

[triggeringtommy]

i am,,, disgusted with myself today for all my regrets and feeling guilty for no real reason /:

[parasphendale]

This much is clear. If I go back to Tampa to get Francis' shit, I'm not going unaccompanied.

[lostmf]

[sprnklersplashes]

shout out to leigh bardugo for creating a disabled character who can be described as "he doesn't let his disability stop him from achieving what he wants (threat)"

[quicklikelight]

I really appreciate the PTSD representation of Kabru Dungeon Meshi because very often traumatized characters end up leaning heavily into the "flight" portion of "fight or flight" but the reality is, many of us get pissed off when we're scared, or have the urge to hit back when we're triggered. It's easy to understand why: a scared person is easy to empathize with. An angry person--a violent person--is less so.

I have PTSD and it's taken a long time for me to get comfortable with the anger that wells up when I'm afraid. Like Kabru, when I get triggered, there's an immediate wash of, I'm going to fucking kill them.

Like Kabru, I never act on this impulse. It's just there in my brain, trying to take control, so it can protect me.

When Kabru is triggered and thinks, desperately, Maybe I should kill him! in order to avoid eating monsters, the scene is played for laughs. But under the inherent comedy of the moment (which I can recognize even if I can't make myself laugh along) is the reality that Kabru is deeply traumatized and is trying to manage his emotions so he doesn't endanger his relationships. For Kabru, a character built to maneuver with ease around the social interactions of humanoids (using the DnD term here), his past is not just a justification for his desire to close the dungeon; it's not just a way to create tension with Laios; it's not just an avenue for him to connect with the Canaries. Kabru's past and his lack of coping with it actively sabotages his relationships and even puts him at renewed risk, just like real PTSD! And I just think that's neat! sob.

[c-0-yote-teeth]

[thatgaywizardoverthere]

Arthur “Disaster Bi” Pendragon learning about true loves kiss as a cure like:

Gwaine: For fuck’s sake, he’s not enchanted every time he smiles at someone else, Arthur! He was literally just laughing at my joke!

Arthur, aggressively frenching Merlin on the council room floor: YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO CAREFUL OKAY-

[inkskinned]

something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"