#incorrect Avengers

[definitelyincorrect]

Tony: Why did you get here so late?

Harley: Well…

Peter: We were in the elevator for fifteen minutes panicking thinking we were stuck

Harley: Only to find out that neither of us pushed the button.

[vyynn]

Tony "I have better things to do" Stark who immediately adopts a dog because he overheard Peter saying that he had always wanted to raise one.

Bucky "Get this kid out of here" Barnes who immediately drags Peter into the gym because he saw Peter get hurt and wants to teach him better self defense techniques.

Steve "I have no time for this" Rogers who goes to Peter's report card day whenever Aunt May or Tony are busy. (He secretly gets happy when Peter asks him to go)

Natasha "I don't need this relationship" Romanoff who spoils and treats Peter like he's her kid because she won't ever be able to have her own.

Bruce "I don't have the patience" Banner who drops everything and anything whenever he finds out that Peter is injured. (He patiently listens to Peter's rambling while he's treating him)

Thor "Who do you think you are" Odinson who treats Peter like a little brother because he reminds him of Loki's clumsy personality when they were kids.

Clint "I don't need another kid" Barton who plays catch with Peter at 5:30 pm when he has to stay in the tower for a long time because that's the time he plays with his kids.

finally a long one cause I was inactive for a few days, hope you guys enjoy♡

[incorrectpeterparker]

Peter: I wasn’t injured. I was lightly stabbed

Tony: I’m sorry, you were stabbed?!

Peter: LIGHTLY stabbed. I didn’t want to worry you

[chaxan08]

Avengers: We listen and we don't judge.

Thunderbolts: We listen and we judge the fuck out of you.

[incorrectmarvels]

Yelena: Ava’s smiling, did something good happen?

Ava: Can’t I just smile because I feel like it?

Bob: Walker tripped and fell in the parking lot this morning

[thewrittenpodcast]

Principal: unfortunately we had to call your mother in

Peter: may won't pick up

Principal: no not your aunt. your mother

Peter: i don't... have one?

Principal: says here one Viginia Potts is listed

Peter: i have never met a virginia in my life

Pepper, walking in: i was called

Peter:

Peter: your name is virginia?

Peter: my life is a lie

Peter: how can I go on

[peter-dude]

Tony: I hate the fucking feds

Peter: Oh, wow, dropping the big bad f-word! Something must be very wrong

Tony: I know, I know…I never like to say the word “feds” unless I have to

Peter: It’s as I always say Mr. Stark; save the dirty words for a special occasion. Now, what did the fucking feds do?

[loislame84]

Yelena: Kate I’m home.

Kate: in the kitchen, babe. Don’t worry I’m not cooking.

Yelena: why are you sitting on the counter?

Kate: I thought it was would fun to get a different perspective of the room.

Yelena: why is lucky up there with you? I prepare food up there.

Kate: well…

Yelena: where is the spider?

Kate, pointing to the corner of the room: it’s so big. I swear it has a knife. Please? Don’t kill him.

Yelena, sighing: fine I will disarm him and take him outside.

Kate: thanks babe.

Yelena, mumbling: I keep telling people this is why we are the avengers with a Z.

[underoooos]

[After Peter goes against Tony's orders in a mission] Steve: Tony stop being so mad at Peter! You know he would throw himself in front of a car for you Tony: He would throw himself in front of a car for fun

[1luna1lovegood1]

Clint: WHY AREN'T THERE ADULT-SIZED PLAYGROUNDS? !

Natasha : so like, everything is the same as a kids' playground but bigger!

Clint : yeah, why don't we have those?!

Steve : they are called theme parks.

Clint: but you have to PAY for theme parks!

Steve: that's the adult part.

[definitelyincorrect]

Bucky: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeves.

Sam: I think you mean cards.

Steve: He does not.

Bucky, pulling out an alarming number of knives: I do not.

[august-parker]

Peter wearing a suit holding a stack of cards at a pedestal that appeared magically for this joke: "welcome to the first episode of 'how well do the Avengers know each other!' I'm your host spiderman!"

Tony: "that is the worst name ever."

Peter: "I'm working on it- FIRST QUESTION! what is Ms Romanoffs favorite color?"

Bucky slamming his fist onto the buzzer: "EASY- RED!"

*LOUD INCORRECT BUZ*

Bucky: "FUCK"

Natasha: "are you serious?"

Bucky: "what do you mean 'am I serious' why wouldn't I be!?"

Nat: "my favourite color is pink asshat"

Peter: "okaaayyy.. Second question! What is Mr Rodgers favorite animal?"

Thor breaking the buzzer: "dog. Final answer."

Steve:

Thor:

Steve: "no."

Thor: "WHAT!? I thought-!"

Steve: "ELEPHANT!!! I'M WEARING AN ELEPHANT SHIRT HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW!?"

Peter: "OKAY- WOW! uh. Two wrong... Third and final question! What is Ms Potts allergic to?"

Bright ass spot light shines on Mr Stark

Tony: "oh fuck."

Pepper: "Tony how long have you known me?"

Tony sadly: "almost 10 years..."

Pepper: "and how many times have I told you the answer to this question?"

Tony: "multiple..."

Pepper:

Tony:

Pepper:

Tony: "carrots..?"

*LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER*

Pepper: "I want a divorce."

Peter talking in front of the burning Avengers tower behind him: "this was a horrible idea."

[incorrectpeterparker]

Tony: And what do we say when life disappoints us?

Peter: Called it.

Tony: No.

[chaxan08]

Thunderbolts: The path to true inner peace starts with four little words.

Thunderbolts: Not my fucking problem.

[incorrectmarvels]

Bucky: Alright. Time for a new team bonding exercise. We’re going to put everything we love into this box.

Yelena: Can I put Bob in the box?

Bucky: No.

Ava: Can I put Bob in the box?

Bucky: No.

Alexei: Can I put Bob in the box?

Bucky: No.

Walker: Can I—

Bucky: No one can put Bob in the box!

[thewrittenpodcast]

Peter: you can't ground me

Tony: can. Did. It's done you're grounded

Peter: but-

Pepper: no arguments you're grounded

Peter, saluting: yes ma'am Ms. Potts i am going to rethink my life in my room now

Tony:

Tony: HOW