#incorrect Thor

[incorrectmarvels]

Loki: I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.

Thor: I’d be more comforted if you didn’t put ‘feelings’ in air quotes.

[reginaphalangelobster]

Coffee

Tony on his 5th cup of coffee by 6am: FRIDAY run the diagnostics again Pepper walks in with two cups of tea Pepper: Tony, you should really lay off the coffee, how many cups have you had in the in the past hour? Tony: 4 F.R.I.D.A.Y: 5 Mr Stark Pepper: See Tony, you have a problem Tony: I don't have a problem Pep, I just like coffee. It's better than you and your tea Pepper: There is nothing wrong with tea. It has health benefits Tony: It still had caffeine and you're addicted too Pepper: I am not! Tony scoffing: Yeah right, you keep telling yourself that Peter, walking through the door: Good morning Mr Stark, Ms Potts Tony: Morning Pete Pepper: Good morning Peter Tony: Hey kid, settle something for us will ya, Pep thinks tea is better and I think its coffee, which is it? Pepper: You can't keep using him to get your way Tony, he always sides with you Peter: I haven't had either Tony & Pepper: Ever? Peter: Nope, May never let me Tony: Well today's the day kid, prepare for your whole world to change Pepper: Don't you think you're being a little dramatic, Tony? Tony: Not at all, I'll never forget the first time I had coffee. I bet you still remember your first cup of tea Pepper: Well, yes but- Tony: But nothing, here kid try this Tony hands a mug of coffee to Peter and he takes a big gulp Peter: Bleugh! I'm sorry Mister Stark but that's awful. How do you drink it everyday? Tony: You get used to it, eventually it burns off a lot of your taste buds Peter: I don't think that's right Pepper: Yeah Tony, that doesn't sound healthy Tony: Pfft! It's fine, both of you worry too much Peter starts to feel the effects of the caffeine and his eyes go wide Pepper: Tony, I think something is wrong with Peter Tony: Nothings wro- Oh, thats-thats not good Peter: No Mr Stark, I feel amazing! I bet I could beat Captain Rogers in a race, I'm gonna go find out. Bye! Peter ran out of the lab and down the stairs Pepper glares at Tony for a moment Tony: Alright I'll go Tony enters the elevator but by the time the doors open on the common room floor Peter is already there practically jumping off the walls Peter: Mr Captain Rogers America Sir, how fast can you run? Steve, looking slightly concerned: Pretty fast kid, uh you okay? Peter: Yeah yes totally fine super fine! Wanna race? Steve: I don't think that's a good idea, where's Tony? Peter: He's in the lab, no the elevator, no I think he's around the corner Thor walks through the door and smiles brightly as he sees Peter Thor: Young Spiderling! How have you been? Peter: I'm good Mr Thor. How are you? How was space? How is Asgard? Did you fight any big aliens? Or scary monsters? Thor: Oh I have much to tell you. As soon as Heimdall sent me to Asgard on the Bi-frost I was met with a ginormous and fearsome beast- Peter: That's so cool Mr Thor! I was wondering, can you run fast? Thor: Yes, very Peter: Great! Do you wanna race around the tower and see who wins? Thor: That sounds like fun, let us go! Thor and Peter ran off, out through the door and around the tower right as Tony walked into the room Tony: Where are they going? Steve: They're racing around the tower. Is everything okay with him? He seems a little off Tony: He had his first sip of coffee Steve: You gave that kid coffee? What's wrong with you? Tony: I admit that I may have made a mistake Steve: May?! Tony: Okay, I did make a mistake Suddenly Peter comes flying back into the room Peter: Oh hey Mr Stark! Did you know I can run faster than Thor? Thor runs though the door and stop with his hand on his knees, panting Thor, breathlessly: Y-you are a v-very fast run-runner Tony: That's it, you are NEVER having coffee again Peter: But I love coffee! It's amazing! Thor: What is coffee? Tony: No, nope, nu uh, not again!

This was inspired by a post from @anyaharveyii thank you for the inspiration, I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you like it.

@everyonesfriend I think you might like this!

Tags:

@impetusofadream @goldfishthegr8 @avengers-official-recruit-agent @goreygirl03 @xenasolos @sparklyturtlefox @rios-sythe @nekoannie-chan @ilovemarvel12 @hayneyney @n3ponen @8812-342

[i-a-q]

Bruce: You’re too reckless.

Thor: And you’re too careful. We balance each other out.

[lovelyinspiration1463]

Thor: I was once arrested for being too cool.

Loki: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

[incorrectmcuquotess]

Loki: Can I have these question mark stickers?

Thor: Why?

Loki: I wanna put them on stop signs! [runs out]

Thor: Loki no!

[spider-manz]

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Tim: Oh, Damian's tried to kill me lots of times.

Tim: There was one time when we were younger, he disguised himself as a case file, because he knows I love case files.

Tim: So I went to pick it up to work on it and he took off the disguise and went 'MBLEGH it's me!' and stabbed me.

Damian: *smiles fondly at the memory*

Dick: Damian, no stabbing your brothers.

Jason: There's a more important issue here. How the fuck was he disguised as a case file -

[everwalldigan]

(Dick coming to collect Jason after he’s been “wrongfully” captured by the justice league while Batman is off world:)

Dick: Listen, Hood might be a criminal, but he’s one of Gotham’s. And he’s my brother.

JL: he killed 80 people in two days.

Dick: …he’s adopted?

Jason, glaring while bound to a chair: SO ARE YOU???

[vyynn]

Tony, texting in the avengers group chat: Good morning people!

Thor: Morning human

Clint: Good morning

Steve: Good Morning!

Bruce: good morning.

Natasha: Good morningg

Tony: You guys are boring, spice it up a bit for God's sake.

Bucky: I hope you mfs fall off a rooftop and die.

Bucky: Not Steve though, good morning Steve.

[jarvispoptart]

When the avengers tells other superheroes that their best distraction is Tony Stark, they’re like “oh yeah cause he’s hot”

well that’s a theory but he’s actually their best distraction because he’s capable to talk about anything for 3 hours straight without breathing

Villains can’t stop listening

[hurtspideyparker]

If Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lived together Part 2

Read Part 1 and Part 3

Tony: Why is Underoos mopping the ceiling?

Sam: Told him since he's sticky that's his chore

Bucky: It's only fair he helps out around the house

Tony: Hm. Makes sense

-

Vision cooked dinner:

Peter: *pushing around food to make it look eaten*

Natasha: *surreptitiously spitting into napkin*

Steve: *taking small bites with tons of water*

Bucky: *just stares at full plate*

Tony: Well this is disgusting, I'm ordering pizza

-

Sam: C'mon man stop moping around, you gotta get yourself a girl

Bucky: Ok.

Sam: Ok? Okayyyyy! I know-

Bucky: Give me your phone

Sam: Oh you got a number in mind already hotshot? *hands phone over*

Bucky: *ring* Hi Sarah ;)

Sam: BOY-

-

Peter: Ned thought you would seperate your colours from your lights but he also thought you'd be homophobic so I don't pay him much mind cuz clearly I'm more of a superhero expert than him but he does have a 2% better average than me in history so like maybe you do hand wash your clothes and that's why I asked what underwear you wear because-

Steve: *listening intently with apprehension and alarm*

Natasha: I can't believe you found the one person on Earth who talks more nonsense than you

Tony: I know right, it's incredibly unnerving. I'm planning on adopting him

-

Peter: Mr. Stark I have to tell you something. I think Vision is a... *whispers* pervert

Tony: Um, why?

Peter: He keeps floating through my room without knocking! He saw me changing, he saw my nipples !

Tony: Well if anyone's a predator here it would be you. I mean showing your nipples to a 2 year old? Deplorable.

Peter:

Peter: Oh god, I'm the pervert...

-

Bucky: Y'know animosity isn't good between teammates. I think we should spend more time together

Sam: Am I being punked right now? Where's the camera

Bucky: I'm serious. I think it would be healthy for us to bond

Sam: Okay fine I'll bite... what did you have in mind

Bucky: Wanna go for a run?

Sam: *slams door in Bucky's face*

-

*staring at Bucky's sparkly clean metal arm*

Bucky: Dishwasher?

Peter: Dishwasher :)

(later that day)

Bucky: I've decided to let the child live

Peter: YoU wHaT?!

-

Thwip

Tony: Who took my coffee cup, It was right here

Thwip

Bruce: Um, has someone seen my book? I just had it

Thwip

Steve: I could've sworn I was holding a pen a moment ago

*giggling from the ceiling*

Tony: Young man I will take those webshooters away if you use them for shenanigans and rascality

Peter, muffled: Mr. Hawkeye told me to!

Clint: Oh so you're just gonna rat me out like that?

Peter: Sor- OOF

*falls out of ceiling vent*

-

Sam: You're in my spot

Bucky: There are no spots, it's a common area

Sam: Well that's my spot

Bucky: Did you buy the chair??

Sam: No, but everyone knows that's where I sit. Right Steve?

Steve: Oops I forgot something in my car, be right back *leaves*

Sam: Still my spot

Bucky: Still not

Sam: *sits on him*

Bucky: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL THE COUCHES ARE FREE-

Sam: IT'S MY SPOT YOU CAN'T TAKE A MAN'S FAVOURITE CHAIR-

BUCKY: YOU HAVE ISSUES GET OFF ME-

(one hour later)

Steve: Hey so turns out I don't have a car! Isn't that funn...

Sam & Bucky: *Squeezed awkwardly on the chair together*

Steve: I think I left something in my car

-

Steve: Leave the bedroom door open when you have Vision in there

Wanda: UGH you're so protective

Tony: Teenagers, am I right? Caught Pete reassembling my particle accelerator at midnight because he needed to neutralize a miniature nuclear bomb he nabbed off some guy he neglected to tell me was trying to kill him

Steve:

Steve: Wanda y'know what do whatever you want

Wanda: Really?

Steve: Yes just keep being normal. At least I can read about our issues in a parenting book

-

Thor: Ah, new warriors I see! Good to make all your acquaintance. But why are you so grumpy my friend?

Bucky: *glaring*

Peter: He's always like that. It's um, P- P- PMS? Wait -

Natasha: Yes it's PMS

Wanda: He's got it bad

Steve: *genuinely concerned* Bucky you didn't tell me something was wrong. What can I do to help?

Bucky:

Bucky: I like chocolate

-

Wanda: Welcome to the first annual girls night! This place reeks of men, so I thought we needed some women time

Pepper: Why is Vision here?

Wanda: I get sad when he's gone

Natasha: Why is Pietro here?

Pietro: Slay queens

Wanda: Moral support I think

Maria: Why is Peter here?

Wanda: He looked really upset when I said he wasn't included and I felt bad

Wanda: Anyways... yay girls! Who wants me to paint their nails?

Peter: ME ME ME

-

Steve: Pancakes or waffles?

Natasha: Pancakes

Steve: Good because I don't have a waffle maker

Natasha: Then why would you ask-

Steve: It's important for your voice to be heard, as team leader I value your opinion

*2 minutes later*

Steve: Good morning Clint, pancakes or waffles?

Clint: Waffles

Steve: Oh no.

-

Some of these were based on requests (ex. more Sam & Bucky, dad Steve w/ Wanda) so if you have certain dynamics you enjoy let me know !

[incorrectmarvels]

Loki: I can explain.

Thor: Can you?

Loki: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

[reginaphalangelobster]

Slut

Odin, on his deathbed: Thor, just remember you're smarter than people say you are, you have common sense and you know what you are doing. Odin: Loki, you're a slut.

Tags:

@impetusofadream @goldfishthegr8 @avengers-official-recruit-agent @goreygirl03 @xenasolos @sparklyturtlefox @rios-sythe @nekoannie-chan @ilovemarvel12 @hayneyney @n3ponen @8812-342 @everyonesfriend @pinkthick @craftytacopiecash @meryuniverse @aliljaybird @yelldontwhisper @justhereforthememesnangst @lonely-core @dianawinchester03 @leloishere @macbaetwo @castielshunterwife @scarletluvsdanno

[i-a-q]

Thor: You redecorated my room?

Loki: *smirking* Consider it an improvement.

Thor: ... Why are there so many mirrors?

Loki: For self-reflection, obviously.

[lovelyinspiration1463]

Frigga: How are you doing, my love?

Loki: Alright - except for this headache that comes and goes.

Thor: *enters the room*

Loki: Oh look, there it is again.

[shxrkk]