#life advice on trauma

[imbecominggayer]

How To Write Trauma With Humanity

This short post is for those who think that they might be so focused on writing trauma well that they accidentally forget to write an actual character.

As someone who has an "interest" (read: deeply passionate and completely consuming dedication) for psychology and character analysis, I feel like sometimes writers don't really know how to write a character with trauma.

To quote a quote:

Don't Write A Traumatized Character, Write A Character With Trauma

I'm just trying to talk about those situations where the only interesting thing that we ever learn about this character is the fact that they have trauma and that's sad.

People tend to think that PTSD and trauma in general is just:

sit in dark, crying inconsolably about death

have nightmares

hide the fact that you have PTSD with broodiness

try to revenge

die tragically or happy ever after

Remember: Nobody has time for that

These people have obligations, responsibilities, family members, loved ones, and dreams that don't allow for this type of lifestyle.

Many people with PTSD *seem* like standard members of society. They sometimes participate in community activities. They have hobbies and vague interests that they put on their dating profile but don't really care about.

People with PTSD and trauma are interesting REGARDLESS of their trauma and trauma-related bullshit, not because.

If the only thing that's interesting about a character is what something else did to your character, it's not really interesting.

What's their dreams?

What do they like to eat in the morning?

What's their values?

Stop Trying TO ANSWER These Important Questions With:

"don't care :3 trauma will make this character complete :D"

[mcflymemes]

please don't mistake silence for hatred. please don't mistake unanswered plotting messages as indifference, or a lack of enthusiasm towards you. considering the ages of most roleplayers, many of us have bills to pay, families to take care of, medical conditions to treat, appointments to make, classes to take, homes to clean, and lives to live away from the computer that are far, far more important than writing on tumblr — life has a tendency to get in the way of hobbies and fun things like this. be patient with your fellow writers. if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. of course you can set your boundaries, keep your space comfortable, and softblock whoever you wish, but do so while recognizing it's probably not hatred or apathy that keeps them from leaping into your dms with message after message. they probably love this hobby just as much as you... but sometimes life gets in the way.

[theereina]

[topazadine]

Writing Compelling Trauma in Fiction: Dos and Don'ts

Trauma is, quite frankly, a load-bearing weight in the fiction space. We've all done it: thrown in the saddest, most miserable little factoid about our meow-meows so that they feel not just real, but compelling and sympathetic. It helps readers empathize with them and spices up a story.

Very well-done trauma can also be cathartic for readers, especially if the character prevails despite what has happened to them.

The problem is that poorly written trauma can feel exploitative, cheap, and melodramatic. It turns people off, especially those who have been through a similar experience. Now it feels as if someone is using our pain to sell things or get attention, and it is often obvious when someone has not been through that experience, which can make readers feel uncomfortable.

So, here is my opinion on how to write more compelling trauma.

As always, I am not the ultimate authority on writing, I am not telling you exactly what to do with your writing, my opinions are just opinions, I am not perfect, I might be wrong, this might not resonate with you. Take what you like and leave the rest.

There's also not going to explicit descriptions of abuse or trauma in this post.

These are the highlights, and then we'll get more into it under the cut.

Trauma must be transformative

Flashbacks are not little movies

Triggers are not always obvious

Don't give characters every trauma ever

It's not always necessary to show the event

The earlier the trauma happens, the more it changes a character

Characters do not always tell every single person about the trauma

Characters themselves may not be explicit about discussing the trauma

And then we will go through some quick action points about trauma.

Trauma must be transformative

Trauma, by definition, changes someone; otherwise, whatever happened would just be another normal Tuesday and no one would care.

This problem is where we get the concept of "fridging." Something horrible happens to a character and they just kind of shrug it off, or it impels them to do something but doesn't actually change them as a person.

For example, a superhero finds their (typically female) lover dead and it spurs them to fight the villain, but then it just doesn't do anything else. They forget about the dead lover and said lover is never mentioned again. That's shitty writing and also kind of misogynistic.

It doesn't need to change them in bad ways, per se: Batman becomes a crime fighter because his parents died in front of him. We know that and always feel that in his story. But, there must be a change or the trauma doesn't mean anything.

Options for you (not an exhaustive list):

Developing anxiety. This may be a more globalized anxiety, such as agoraphobia, or it may be more specific. Shying away from "unsafe" situations that seem perfectly safe to other people. This is another form of anxiety. Becoming withdrawn and refusing to trust anyone. Clinging to "safe" people; becoming dependent and helpless. They may become codependent and childlike. This is common with childhood abuse, particularly childhood sexual abuse. Their emotional coping skills were stunted after the event and they never developed a healthy sense of self. Growing cold and unemotional; isolating themselves from other people. They may refuse to talk about the event and insist that they are fine. Advocating for others dealing with the same thing. Acting like an emotional "open wound:" intense, trauma vomiting all over other people, failing to self-regulate. Having extreme bursts of rage. This is more common in men, but it can also happen in women. For sexual trauma, becoming hypersexual or having no interest in sex whatsoever. They may become incredibly touch-averse, even getting antsy when someone touches their hand. Making risky decisions that lead to further traumatization. Especially true regarding child abuse; those who were molested as children are far more likely to be revictimized later in life. BTW, this is not victim-blaming: it is still the abuser's fault for hurting them. No one should take advantage of someone's vulnerability like that. Keeping everything surface level and refusing to open up to anyone about anything. They may seem "bland" and uninteresting to the outside observer because everything about them has been stuffed down. As I have mentioned elsewhere, trauma often blunts a person's personality and makes them less interesting.

Again, this isn't an exhaustive list, but it's an idea of what you might be able to work with.

Flashbacks are not little movies

Nothing irks me more than writers who decide that the best possible way to explain someone's trauma is to just go back in time and show it in exhaustive detail because that is not how trauma generally works. You don't just see the whole thing in vivid technicolor most of the time.

Why? Because trauma is ... traumatic. Your brain wants to protect you from that experience and isn't going to force you to relive it over and over again exactly as it happened.

More commonly, flashbacks are small snippets of the event. For example, you might see the person's eyes as they are staring at you, or a very brief image of the worst part of it. You'll see what your eyes were focusing on in the moment, but you're not going to see the whole thing all at once. Sometimes, a flashback is like a still image, or like a GIF. But it's not a little movie.

In other cases, a flashback is just a body sensation with no actual visual images shown. You might feel pain in the place where you were hurt, and you may not even realize it's a flashback.

This can actually make for very compelling writing when done correctly, because you can show small snapshots of the event sprinkled throughout the story so that the reader slowly develops a full understanding of what happened.

So what could you show?

The eyes of the perpetrator

Expressions on a perpetrator's face

A "diorama" of the room/location where it took place

Repeating images of a small section of the event

Physical pain: pelvic pain for assault, tender ribs, old wounds starting to hurt again

Darkness or swirls of motion

Sounds or phrases that were said during the event

The aftermath: what happened right after they were safe or rescued

Sensations: pressure, heat, cold, weightlessness, heaviness, exhaustion, pain

Triggers are not always obvious

A trigger can be anything that reminds you of trauma. Scents, sounds, words, certain brands, the tone of someone's voice, specific locations that just remind you of where it happened, anything. I am sure there are people out there who are triggered by Dolce & Gabbana handbags or certain ice cream flavors.

Sometimes, a trigger is not even obvious to the person who suffered. They may not realize why they shy away from certain experiences, like swinging on a playset or walking through an airport, because they can't remember why that's relevant to what happened.

Don't give a character every trauma ever

Going overboard with trauma is one of the best ways to get people to hate your book. It feels as if you are using trauma as a stand-in for actually developing characters people can resonate with and just using pity points to get people to care.

In fact, I would argue that you need to give characters less trauma than would be feasible for the average person. Of course, many people go through multiple types of trauma over their lifetime, to the point where if someone read a book about them, it would seem unrealistic.

But characters are not people. They are meant to populate a fictional plot. As such, less is more. Using less trauma forces you to dig deeper into those certain events and identify how your character changed.

It's not always necessary to show the event

This is especially true if you are writing about characters who have childhood trauma. Full-on cinematic flashbacks are a cheap way to get out of showing us how the trauma changed them. This is especially true if this is the only flashback in the story, or you are only flashing back to show us increasingly more disturbing examples of their trauma.

The most compelling stories I have read do not show the trauma; they show us the aftermath. We see how the character is haunted by what happened and how they can never go back to who they were before. It makes for deeper and more interesting characterization than just "oh look at this bad thing that happened."

There's also the fact that it's more intriguing to give us hints and subtle references to something. The fear of the unknown is worse than the true, explicit details, because then the reader is filling in the blanks in their own mind and imagining how bad it must have been by seeing what is before them: the traumatized character.

The earlier the trauma happens, the more it changes a character

There is a reason that any therapist will ask you about Adverse Childhood Events (ACEs): because it completely shifts who you are and affects you forever. I won't bore you with the research, but those who went through childhood trauma are more likely to have substance abuse issues, heart disease, mental health problems, social challenges, and much more. The list of things that correlate to child abuse is honestly very depressing and shocking.

This isn't to say that adult abuse isn't going to cause problems, but it won't be quite as deeply rooted and horrifying as childhood trauma. Your character will likely not go through a 180 degree shift because their personality is already well rooted. Children are still having their personality molded by their environment and are going to be more deeply scarred.

Characters do not always tell every single person about the trauma

My greatest annoyance. Characters putting it all out into the open for every single person to know about is just ... unrealistic. Even if it just happened yesterday, not everyone is going to know. Certainly if it was childhood trauma, only a few select people are going to know about it, especially in explicit detail.

For example, the vast majority of people sexually abused as children never disclose the abuse to anyone. Anyone! This makes it incredibly challenging to identify how many people were molested because so many people don't want to share.

There's a lot of shame and vulnerability that comes from disclosing abuse, and everyone, no matter who they are, wants to avoid pain. It's in our nature. There's also the fact that if it was a childhood event, the child was likely threatened with punishment if they disclosed, and that will carry on into adulthood. They will be afraid of repercussions if they share it, even if their abuser is dead or absent.

As such, you need to decide on the circle of trust. Who would your character rely on when wanting to discuss their problems? Maybe a lover, a close friend, or a parent.

One quick note here: it's actually pretty common for people who went through trauma together to not discuss it with one another. Neither wants to trigger their friend/relative/partner/etc by bringing it up, so there may just be an unspoken agreement not to mention it. If they do discuss it, it might be in more vague and referential terms instead of explicit exposition.

Characters themselves may not be explicit when discussing the trauma

It's just not realistic for your character to go through every exhaustive detail of any traumatic event when sharing it with someone. They may say "my dad hit me a lot," or "I saw a car crash," or "I was assaulted," etc. There will be brief sum-up statements, not a gory and intense description of it, for example:

"Something bad happened."

"He hit me."

"I was trapped."

"I was assaulted/raped."

"I fell."

"There was a car crash."

"Someone died in front of me."

"I was there when [x] happened."

"There was a robbery/break-in."

"I was kidnapped."

Or the classic:

"I don't want to talk about that."

Our minds don't want to make us relive it, so we will keep it vague to avoid triggering ourselves. For some people, they dissociated during the event and don't even have those details to share because they weren't consciously encoded.

Think of a bad thing that happened to you. If someone asks you, it's very unlikely that you're going to walk through it step by step for them. More likely, you'll summarize it. Your characters will do the same.

Action points for writing trauma:

Consider when the trauma happened to decide on the impact.

Pick one or two types of trauma (death of a parent, sexual assault, being mugged, getting into a car accident, watching someone die, etc) and then stick with that only.

Identify what a character would have been had they not been traumatized, and then shift that personality based on the kind of trauma.

Decide whether it's necessary to show the abuse.

Focus on sensory details rather than explicit narration when doing. any form of flashback: sights, sounds, smells, textures, how hot or cold it was, pressure, etc.

Sprinkle flashbacks throughout in snippets as they become relevant based on a trigger.

Don't trauma dump the entire experience of past trauma on the reader in one go because the character wouldn't do that themselves.

Remember that people may dissociate during a traumatic event and their own descriptions might be vague and dreamlike.

Look at the scene yourself and consider what might become a trigger. A certain perfume? Cigarette smoke? A birdsong?

Decide who would be told based on relationships with the character. Again, the checkout clerk isn't going to get the details. Maybe a therapist, a partner, a close friend.

People who were traumatized together may avoid any discussion of it.

Characters will typically summarize the experience when talking about it to others unless they have a very, very close relationship.

[queerdiazs]

okay but how do you hate eddie diaz

[gem-femmes]

How to handle running into a former friend or ex that you’re not looking to reconnect with

Let’s talk about something we all face at some point: running into someone from your past that you’ve moved on from, whether it’s an old friend or a former lover.

You’ve done the work, you’ve grieved, and you’ve leveled up. You’re not interested in rehashing the past or rekindling that connection. But what happens when you bump into them in public?

Often when this happened to me, I found the other person missed me and wanted to spend time with me again - even when they had ghosted me. This made me uncomfortable. They had confused me, I had to grieve the loss of the relationship and now they want me again???

Believing I owed them an explanation due to happy times spent together, I let them drag me into pointless discussions to figure out what had gone wrong years ago.

Every time, I realized our connection had ended for a reason, and my explaining only opened up old wounds.

Don't do that.

Here’s how to handle encounters with former friends, lovers and foes like a boss:

1. Stay Calm and Composed

First things first—take a deep breath. You’ve already moved on emotionally, and this is just another moment in your day. You’ve got this.

2. Acknowledge Them Briefly

If you make eye contact, a simple “Hi” or “Hello” with a confident smile is more than enough. You’re showing that you’re mature, unbothered, and not holding any grudges. No need for deep dives into what happened.

3. Keep it Short

If they try to engage in small talk, go ahead and be polite, but keep it light and brief. A quick “It’s good to see you,” followed by a natural exit, sends the message that you’re not interested in going any deeper.

4. Graceful Exit Strategies

Sometimes, it’s best to have an escape plan. If the conversation starts to linger, here are some graceful ways to make your exit:

“I’d love to chat more, but I’m on a tight schedule today. Have a great day!”

“It’s nice seeing you, but I need to finish my shopping before I forget what I need.”

“I have to go; someone’s waiting for me. Take care!”

“Well, I should get going. It was nice running into you!”

“I’ll let you get back to your day. See you around!”

5. Don’t Feel the Need to Explain

If they try to bring up the past, it’s perfectly fine to deflect. A simple, “That was a long time ago, and I’m focused on the present now” will keep you from getting sucked into a conversation you’re not interested in. You’ve moved on, and your time and energy are precious.

It’s all about maintaining your peace of mind and protecting the progress you’ve made. You’ve leveled up, and you don’t need to revisit chapters you’ve already closed.

Stay polite, stay brief, and most importantly, stay focused on you. You’ve got bigger and better things to do! 💪✨

[ghostoflillith]

It is not your responsibility:

To take on someone elses healing

To process someone's trauma for them

To monitor and manage someone else's emotions

To teach people how to love

To try and get people to appreciate you

To "keep the peace"

To spend all your energy trying to keep someone happy

To try and prevent someone from cheating

To teach people how to apologize & take accountability

To try and get others to change toxic behaviors

To accept responsibility for pain you didn't cause

To try and get them to heal pain they have caused to others

To do all the emotional labor in your relationships and friendships

To accept less than you deserve

To blame yourself when people treat you poorly

To teach them emotional intelligence

To stay quiet when you are hurting

To lie and hide things for them

To protect people who wouldn't do the same for you

To help someone else grow

To teach people how to find healthy coping mechanisms that work for them

To allow yourself to be taken for granted for the sake of "love"

To believe them when they have been caught lying before

To teach people self love

To make excuses, explanations or justifications for someone else

To allow yourself to be manipulated because you want to believe them

To control other people

To awaken them

To change their beliefs about themselves and the world around them

To convince them why they should want to better themselves

To pull them out of the hole they've dug for themselves

To try to repair relationships you didn't break

To stay where you feel you no longer belong

To make yourself small to keep other's comfortable

It IS our responsibility to heal OURSELVES, and in doing so, inspiring other's to do the same.

No matter how many people have told you that you are a "healer," it is NOT your responsibility to heal those who don't want to be healed, aren't ready for it, or arent appreciative of you.

Some may never take this path, and that is their choice to make.

Protect your energy.

[femmefatalevibe]

What are your favorite self help books? :)

Hi love! Sharing some of my favorite self-help books below:

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck

The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz

Atomic Habits by James Clear

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay

Don’t Believe Everything You Think by Joseph Nguyen

The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery by Brianna Wiest

Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free by Terri Cole

The Confidence Formula: May Cause: Lower Self-Doubt, Higher Self-Esteem, and Comfort In Your Own Skin by Patrick King

The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson

Choose Your Story, Change Your Life: Silence Your Inner Critic and Rewrite Your Life from the Inside Out by Kindra Hall

When You’re Ready, This Is How To Heal  by Brianna Wiest

Hunting Discomfort: How to Get Breakthrough Results in Life and Business No Matter What by Sterling Hawkins

The Four Pivots: Reimagining Justice, Reimagining Ourselves by Shawn Ginwright

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Unbound: A Woman’s Guide To Power by Kasia Urbaniak 

Pussy: A Reclamation by Regena Thomashauer 

Becoming The One by Sheleana Aiyana  

Attached by Amir Levine 

Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns 

Whole Again by Jackson MacKenzie 

Take Your Lunch Break by Massoma Alam Chohan

Stop Overthinking by Nick Trenton 

Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

Designing the Mind: The Principles of Psychitecture by Ryan A. Bush 

Radical Acceptance: Awakening The Love That Heals Fear and Shame by Tara Brach 

Recovery from Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse, Codependency & Complex PTSD by Don Barlow 

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson 

Inner Child Recovery Work with Radical Self-Compassion by Don Barlow 

What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Bruce D. Perry & Oprah Winfrey 

Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown 

Hope this helps xx

[imbecominggayer]

Writing Traumatic Backstories

Hello,it's me again! Sorry for dissappearing, I wanted a short little break from Tumblr. Obviously, I should have clearly communicated that fact instead of just going cold turkey!

From @differentnighttale : "How do I write characters who deal with severe trauma and pain with sensitivity and understanding"

Obviously with our topic today, there is going to be mentions of traumatic events and such. I won't go into any graphic or specific details but I just wanted to make it clear with a trigger warning

Since this lovely asker is specifically asking about sensitivity, I won't be addressing other related concerns about writing trauma but just focusing on this clear sensitivity! GET READY CAUSE THIS IS LONG!

Step One: Specificity Is Everything

You need to understand that various different traumatic instances will have their own different reactions based around various different incidents depending on what exactly happened and how many times it happened.

In general, the more times something happened, the more likely it would be leave an imprint. Obviously this is an oversimplification for the sake of an explanation :)

For abuse situations and other person vs person situations:

Consider the relationship your character has with this abuser! Is it obsessive? Neglectful? Don't just say it was a bad relationship! Describe to yourself what behavior and attitude specifically made this an unhealthy situation.

Did the abuser use any repetitive imagery? Did they use a specific tool most often? Did the abuse center on something specific? This can help guide you towards what can "trigger" this character!

What are the long-term affects this abusive situation have on this character? Did it make them question and distrust their self-worth, their safety, their identity, their body, their stability? Anything?

Was this abuser always bad? I don't mean in the "good person gone bad" route! I mean "is this character always abusive"? Most abusers aren't horrible 24/7 and can have their better sweeter moments. This often leaves their victims confused since the victims know more then anyone that this person wasn't just plain evil.

For natural disasters and accidents:

Where is the blame? Is it nature herself? Themself for not being careful enough? A real legitimate person who genuinely caused this accident? An imaginary individual that had no relationship?

What is the specific fear that this situation ignites? Is it this crushing feeling of isolation as they were suffering with no expectation of help? Is it the realization that life is out of their control which keeps them awake at night? Is it the chaos of that day? The fear of regret? The fear of death?

Answering these questions can often illuminate different ways to approach a character's traumatic backstory in unique and interesting ways. It also highlights potential coping mechanisms for your character.

Step Two: What Exactly Is Trauma's Effect On The Brain?

Remember: The following analogy is an oversimplified explanation of trauma. Afterward, the science explain-y part will come in :)

Imagine that the brain is an archive system. It gathers memories and puts away those memories under certain files. Then, the traumatic event(s) happen. Suddenly, the brain is unable to properly understand this. This causes the boss prefrontal cortex turns off. Now, the assistant is forced to take over. This assistant doesn't know what to do so they just do what they always do! Unfortunately, this fails to pacify the threat. And now the brain is mixing up all of the trauma's documents in an effort to just shove it into a filing cabinet. It doesn't work. Now everything new that arrives in needs to try and work through the trauma documents which are taking up the place!

SCIENCE PART!

During traumatic events, the "fear circuity" is activated. This causes the prefrontal cortex or the "decision-maker" to function less effectively. This causes a person goes into auto-pilot mode where they follow social habits.

This is why a person in a traumatic situation will sometimes engage in polite behavior with their abuser in an effort to "save face" as they typically do in social situations!

These events often physically mpact the brain! Specifically, in relation to learning and survival!

Advice In Order To Avoid Common Tropes:

Trauma is a highly complicated subject that is highly individualized and messy. But here are some "no fly" lists which often lead to traumatized characters appearing inauthentic and real traumatized people insulted.

Don't solve trauma in one conversation or one event. Working through trauma is ultimately about "moving on" in the sense of constantly moving forward but not leaving the trauma behind.

Don't romanticize certain coping mechanism. Oftentimes, media will have a hypersexual girl who learned to be hypersexual for trauma reasons. But this character doesn't exist so we can understand them. They exist for sexual appeal and tragedy brownie points.

Only include traumatic events if you can handle exploring them. If you aren't willing to deal with the implications of a certain backstory or serious mid-story event, don't write it in there.

Don't make it entirely resolved by the end. Recovery isn't about learning to "get rid" of the affect trauma has on someone. It's about working with those issues so you can learn to not drown in your issues.

Don't make the journey linear. Have your character relapse into bad unhealthy behavior. Make them have to struggle to relearn the same lessons again and again. It'll make the journey far more interesting and realistic.

Don't make bad coping mechanism black and white. Bad coping mechanisms were necessary once upon a time. They are good tools that have lived past their usefulness but they aren't illogical or evil.

Don't excuse bad behavior. Traumatic backstories offer an explanation of a character's behaviors but it doesn't make a character's actions okay.

They aren't just traumatic backstory. Oftentimes, they only thing we ever learn about a character is their deep issues and facade. But real traumatized people aren't just defined by the bad things that happen to them. They had dreams, goals, and friends that aren't pure tragedy.

They are people. While people are definitely defined by their trauma, don't make them think only of their trauma. People with sad backstories aren't more special then people who don't. They have stupidly weird behaviors, they have hobbies that aren't related to their issues. Don't make them think of just the bad stuff.

[tolbyccia]

[id: drawing of shoka and neku. shoka holds the hem of her skirt up to neku’s jacket to compare the pattern, considering them with a serious expression while neku looks down to her, slightly confused. written small by her head, shoka thinks, “same line…?” end id]

like two cats with matching fur patterns

[lunamoth14]

Just thinking about how I understood the concept of suicide as a young child before I had even heard of it. I remember speaking to my parents about some school thing, probably social (making friends has always been near impossible), and telling them “I wish I could just kill myself”. I didn’t know this was possible. But I understood the concept of death. And I remember genuinely feeling like both the world and me would be better off if I didn’t exist anymore. Around this time (I was 5-6) I had night terrors almost every night for around a year (screaming, crying, shaking) Idk why but these might be connected. Beyond me why my slightly upper middle class parents never put me into therapy lmao.

[lifenconcepts]

I think it’s important for people to know, especially in this “awareness” epidemic day and age, that you can experience symptoms without having something underlying that needs treatment.

I’m all for people sharing their experiences and information, it gets the people who need help proper help, but those who may see it could begin to consider the fact their experience may be tainted with something “horrible” with them. That a “normal” life is all perfect and santised, only 5 emotions, simple thoughts, environment that doesn’t affect them.

If you get too into finding problems within yourself you will spiral down a path that I’ve oh so been on and trust me it will only make anything far worse. It’s good that you’re figuring yourself out! That’s applaudable, truly. But there’s a serious difference between figuring out certain aspects of yourself and actively trying to prove you have some mental illness by grasping at straws.

People without disorders can experience anxiety or paranoia, fears can be healthy and very reasonable! People without autism or adhd can and do stim, some to cope and some for fun - people without disorders can be so overjoyed they joy up and down and squeal with glee. People without trauma can have down moods, especially if the situation theyre in isnt all that pleasant. You can experience plenty of things, and none of them are inherently indicative of something going on with your brain that’s going to crush you. If it seriously affects you, then sure! Get help! But believe me, if whatever you’re experiencing has a reason, is temporary, and not all that noticeable, you’re better off just accepting it and moving on. Focusing on these things will cultivate them into mental monsters and if you didn’t have something negative in that brain of yours then it’ll probably appear with constant worrying.

Stress not if you don’t fit in, don’t feel ashamed over doing things differently, maybe if your mind works a little odd from the people surrounding you and that’s all fine, maybe you like strange things and that’s entirely okay! please, though, I’m actively warning you, do not think there’s something wrong with you simply because you had a momentary discomfort. A feeing can exist without occupying your mind constantly! Stay safe, will ya?

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(so, heres a quick story.

i have a friend and she was enroute to be a social worker. Like was rejected from masters programs the first year she applied so she went into the field and got more experience and then applied again and yay! She got in! Moved to a different state for school and started it—

and then she dropped it

and learned how to figure skate instead. and got a job at the ice rink so she could get free skate time. and then started coaching children

and never looked back

and i think about this alot. because 1) its okay if the thing you always wanted for a reallllly long time that youve spent time working for isnt what you want after all. 2) its never too late to start over.)

[gootube]

band au eva and skuggy is a crack dynamic i think about more than i should

[selfhealingmoments]

5 warning signs Shame is affecting your mental health

[joseopher]

"Not all men" you're right. callum nova would nev—actually yeah he probably would.