#shit dick

[stickyvoidpaper]

Dick : Jasons been more, relaxed lately. It's unsettling.

Tim : Yeah, I've started spiking his water with mood stabilizers.

Dick : What

Tim : I've been thinking of doing it to the wider gotham water supply. Think about the crime rates.

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

batfam meets the JL but it’s just the bat kids breaking into the watch tower during a debriefing or meeting to ask bruce the most mundane questions. they go about it like they’re interns that need to speak to the CEO during a board meeting. they walk over waving their hands and mouthing “i’m so sorry just need to ask batman something 😬” and then they lean over to bruce and ask something like “alfred wants to know if you’re gonna be home for dinner” and then they dip.

one of them started this when bruce didn’t answer their texts (it was probably tim or something) and now everyone does it.

[everwalldigan]

Bruce: *waking up in a hospital that he drove himself to after having a heart attack and telling absolutely nobody* hey…

The entirety of the batclan looking over him with Dick in the centre, an absolute terrifying grin on his face:

Dick: hello Bruce, nice evening isn’t it? Got something to share with us?

Edit: the fic is now out on ao3! https://archiveofourown.org/works/57780508

[violent138]

On the role of Alfred, as understood by the JLA:

Robin!Dick: "It's pretty much Alfie that calls all the shots, sets my bed time and Batman's."

----

Red Hood: "It's like a Charlie's angels situation."

----

Red Robin, before going against League orders: "The boss? You mean like, Alfred? No I haven't asked him yet."

----

Spoiler: "You really want to be late for the dinner? Alfred won't be happy."

Bruce: *closes computer* "We'll finish this up some other time."

JLA: *confused*

----

Clark, after Bruce gets severely injured: "Oh God, Alfred’s going to kill me."

Hal: "Relax, what's he even going to do? You're bullet proof."

Clark, groaning and sitting down, head in hands: "That's not going to stop him."

Oliver: "Say the word, and I'll get you on an island not found on any map."

Hal: ???

[milesofstars]

dont worry about it jason...

[neuro-psyche]

I think Dick and Jason would have multiple “what the actual fuck are you saying right now” with Tim and Damian when it comes to quality of life/monetary differences. Sure, Dick and Jason got used to Bruce’s “is $100 a good enough tip on a $30 bill?” shit, but hearing Tim talking about a new laptop he bought for $5000 literally is like a punch in the gut.

If they ever went on a cruise (which they totally wouldn’t because cruises are floating death traps), Jason and Dick would be in awe of the fancy amenities, where as Damian would be unsatisfied with the quality, since he grew up with every single amenity known to man. Tim would just feel like it’s all normal since the Drake’s were extravagant and travelled all over the planet.

Jason : My bedroom is bigger than my fucking apartment.

Dick : I could do a full gymnastics routine with the space in my room.

Tim :

Dick :

Tim : My room is normal sized…

Jason : You grew up in a mega mansion. I hardly think you’re the benchmark of a normal room-

Damian : I must agree with Drake. This room is frankly underwhelming.

Dick, staring wildly at him : What do you mean underwhelming- Dames there’s an aquarium wall in your room.

Damian : Yes. Underwhelming.

Jason :

Dick :

Jason : Do you want to-

Dick : Jump off the boat? Yes.

[panakina]

I refuse to believe that Bruce Wayne, a man in his fifties who took up martial arts in his twenties, who has had at least one serious spinal injury and countless other injuries, is in anyway comparable to the adult robins, who have been training and conditioning since their early teens if not earlier and are all in their prime.

[foundfamilywhump]

the question, you see, is not ‘is it too ooc for this character to cry’ but rather ‘what circumstances would push this character to cry’

this is the whump wisdom, go forth and make that character cry

[trashcattt]

grilled cheese

[phoneduk]

[Jason panic searching his room]

Jason: "WHERE IS IT?!"

Tim : "what is *it*?

Jason: "You would know if saw it! Just help me look!"

Dick: "Hey, let's just calm down. What are we looking for?"

Jason: "I bought home an injured snake yesterday on patrol and I was planning on dropping it off at the vet today."

Dick: "that's not so bad."

Jason: "If Damian finds it we're going to have a pet snake. And you're the only one he would trust to feed it."

[Jason, Dick and Tim frantically searching the manor.]

Meanwhile

[Damian in the cave full Robin costume with snake around his shoulders - Maniacal laughter.]

Bruce suddenly sits straight up in his seat in the watch tower, a full body shiver taking over him.

Bruce: "Somethings wrong"

[mikeluciraphgabe]

Jason hitting the panic button in his sleep cuz he was still in his uniform and rolled over but because he’s in one of his safe houses the signal is all messed up and the Batfam is in chaos trying to find him but Jason is just “zzzz” the whole time

[foolsocracy]

put dick on a team and trust he will make sure they can perform as an acrobat troop

[fanaticalthings]

POV: You're on Gothamtwt

just gothamite things

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[inkpotsprite]

DAMIAN

[two-wizards-in-a-trench-coat]

maya hugs

[batfamilycannons]

A daily occurrence

Jason, English nerd, Todd: USE OXFORD COMMAS, CUNT!

Tim, I dropped out of high school I’ll do whatever the fuck I want, Drake: No.

Dick, I speak like 17 languages fluently and still refuse to follow or learn the grammar rules in this one, Grayson: a what?