#you don't have to like that kind of humor but can we please use our brains a little bit

[rizaposting]

One thing i wish more people would consider when watching shows/reading comics is "if the narrative doesn't treat this seriously, then maybe neither should I"... Obviously there's some nuance to it, but people forget about slapstick and asides to the audience and if I have to see one more person in the year of 2024 claim that "Winry is abusive" for lighthearted wrench visual gags I'm going to lose my mind.

[ccscocoapuffs]

Aegon Targaryen NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Super Clingy, he wants you to hold him close to your chest and play in his hair. Maybe let him softly suck on your nipples while he lets out soft whines from coming down from his high. He adores skin to skin as well afterwards. If you were into to trying it he would love to cock warm with you and fall asleep still inside you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) His favorite part of himself is honestly probably his dick, the boy cherishes that thing, its probably the thing he uses the most on his body as well lmao. He is 100% a tit man, sucking them, biting, fucking them, it doesn't matter he adores your tits, he adores them no matter the size as well.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) He loves cumming inside you no matter what, it inflates his ego to astronomical levels to see himself leaking out of you knowing that he is the only one who gets to fill you with his cum. If you dom him though make him cum all over his tummy and lick it off of him and he will go absolutely feral.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) Definitely has stolen a pair or two....or more of your panties for him to wrap around his dick when you aren't around to please him. He loves the feeling of the soft lace going up and down his cock while he pleasures himself.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) He is pretty damn experienced in the world of sex, i mean come on the man is a bit of a man hoe. (We love our little sad man hoe though)

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) He loves trying all kinds of different positions with but he has two favorites to use with you. His first favorite is facing each other on your side with your leg over his waist and he will just thrust up into you while looking into your eyes. The second is cowgirl he adores when you ride him and take charge f the situation.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) He can really be both, sometimes he will be kinda goofy with you and make you chuckle then other times he is so into the feeling he gets from having sex with you that he just kinda zones out and becomes more serious into the moment.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) He has a very small bush o hair that borders on being a darker shade of a blonde, it certainly doesn't match the gorgeous silver hair that adorns his head. He doesn't really keep it tidy, but keeps it managed if that makes sense.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Depending on the mood of the moment, he can either be very intimate with you and kiss up your neck while he tells you how much he adores you or he can be very straight to the point which is what tends to happen of the point of having sex that day to simply make a heir.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) He masturbates alot, even though you two have each other he just enjoys pleasuring himself when the moments you two can't be together arise. As I mentioned before when he does masturbate he usually wraps a pair of your panties around his cock and will moan the filthiest shit as if you are right there with him. "Oh fuck....baby....feels so good wrapped around me like that".

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Mommy kink Slight bondage feel like he might have a bit of a lactation kink as well pegging light spanking (like put him over your knee and give him a light smack to his ass, don't worry you'll see more of this later)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) He doesn't give a flying fuck where you two have sex but his favorite place is without a doubt the throne. He loves setting you on his lap and letting you ride your king till he spills himself deep inside of you on the most wanted seat in the seven kingdoms.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) Everything, Aegon stays in horny mood 24/7. He would get really into things though if you initiate things, like walk up to him and whisper in his ear "Be a good boy, Aegon and I'll reward you with your pretty cock in my mouth.""

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) I think Aegon would be very firm on never hitting him, he doesn't mind you smacking his ass or something like that but never hit him in the face. It would just bring back alot of memories about Alicent he doesn't wanna have at that time.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) He loves to eat pussy, he would lowkey tell you it's his favorite meal. You will 100% have to push him away from you to get him to stop fucking you with his tongue. He will keep on till his face is soaked in your release.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) He doesn't have a preference on the pace sometimes he wants fast and rough other times he wants a slower pace and to savor the moment. He leans towards being slower and sensual more often then anything else.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) He loves a good quickie, especially the ones where anybody could walk in at any second. His favorite place for a quickie is the dining room table, he loves to just bend you over it and fuck you to his hearts desire.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) Oh he is definitely risky, he likes the thrill that comes with being so risky. We have already mentioned a few of the risky things he likes to do such as stealing your panties and the quickie locations.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) Usually about 2 back to back, though if you have sex several times throughout the day then he can go for many more rounds then generally.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) He definitely owns a few dildos, both for you and for him. He loves being pegged as well so there is for sure a strap somewhere in his room.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) He definitively likes to tease and make sure you know that he is being extra needy for you. However if you tease him then he will be a whining mess.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) Loud, he doesn't care who hears. If the whole castle hears him getting fucked then so be it, he will let out the loud whines and whimpers. If you peg him he may actually scream when he cums.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) When he's been a brat bring him to your chambers and lay him over your knees. Give him soft spankings while telling him "Mommy wants you to be a good boy for her *Smack* I want you to learn to not be a brat *Smack*" 9 times out of ten he will whimper back "I'll be go mommy, promise"

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) Aegon is about 6 inches in length and has a medium sized girth. He is just big enough to make you feel the most sweetest stretch. Don't be fooled though he can still shove it down your throat and make you choke on it.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) It's Aegon, he is possibly the horniness person in the world. He wants you all day everyday which I feel makes his yearning in the category of VERY VERY high.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Almost instantly, He wants to be snuggled up to you first before getting nice and coxy under the blankets. He would adore if you played in his hair while he drifted to sleep.

[xxsycamore]

KING'S GAME

╰┈➤ ❝ I just need to know in case…❞ ❝ In case what? In case you take it a little too far in role-playing? In case you go down on me and the words mon empereur leave your lips? ❞ - After a round of some silly drinking game, MC can't help but have certain thoughts about Napoleon and how easily he takes on the role of someone in power. Naturally, she wants to know his boundaries of it.

Napoleon Bonaparte/MC • rating: E (MDNI) • tags: Drinking Games; Alcohol; Shenanigans; Humor; Sexual Tension; Massage; Kink Negotiation; Sexual Roleplay; Power Play; Dominant Napoleon; Dom/sub; Master/Servant; Blow Jobs; Oral Sex; Choking; Dacryphilia; Stripping; Dirty Talk; Vaginal Fingering; Begging; Vaginal Sex; Creampie; Aftercare • wordcount: 6,055 • masterlist

a/n: The idea for this fic was conceived long before an event of the same theme came to Ikevamp EN... We ended up not seeing them all play together in the game so I hope this right here fixes that, maybe? I have no idea how it ended up being that long. I guess I've been looking for the right opportunity to explore this part of Napoleon's character in a smut fic, namely his feelings about being called emperor and the likes in the bedroom. Hope you enjoy!

"Oh, I know! How about we play the Ousama game? It's a popular drinking game back home, in my era!"

It's rare for MC to be the one initiating activities on game nights, so naturally, all eyes are on her. Dazai is quick to give his enthusiastic approval, wanting to know more about a game that came after his time but originates from his homeplace. Sebastian smiles in a similar fashion.

"Good pick, MC. I think our residents are going to like it. Will you please excuse me for a second?"

As Sebastian stands up from the table and dashes out of the room, someone's comment oh my god, he's totally fetching his diary, can be heard. But really, there are no hard feelings. Everyone's more than happy to welcome Sebastian at the table and see him being more open and relaxed around his masters for once. Maybe it does have to be documented.

"It's not something like Arthur's games, I assume?" Isaac directs his gaze at MC, almost pleading under the surface for an affirmative response.

She rubs awkwardly at the back of her neck. As much as she hates to disappoint him…

"Erm, it's basically a game of dares… but don't worry, you can always refuse a dare!"

"That's it, if you want to take the punishment, Newt." Arthur seems ready to dance on the physicist's nerves with a complimenting chin-cupping stance, elbows rested on the table and all. Theo rolls his eyes.

"Let me guess. Refuse a dare and drink a shot."

"That's correct." MC nods before Arthur can take more liberties at orchestrating her own game, even if they happen to be thinking in the same direction. "Let me go get what we need for the game!"

By the time Sebastian is back and patting his breast pocket suspiciously, so is MC, with a handful of… chopsticks. And a fountain pen.

"So, what I'm going to do now is write a number for each one of us… Vincent, Theo, Arthur, Isaac, Mozart, Dazai, Sebastian, Napoleon, and I…so that means numbers 1 to 8, and on the ninth chopstick, I'm going to write Ousama - which means 'King' - and then we shuffle the chopsticks in a cup - Arthur, can you pass me the empty cup next to you? - then we each take one but without showing our numbers to the others. Whoever gets the Ousama chopstick becomes King and he places a dare for someone, using the numbers! Is everything clear?"

"Uh. What kind of dares are allowed?"

Napoleon nods at the direction the question originates from. "Good point. Hey, maybe tone it down with the sexual stuff. There are taken people at the table."

Arthur snaps, "Why are you looking at me? I wasn't intending to. Besides, if a dare doesn't stand right with you, you can always drink and avoid it!"

Memories of other game nights seem to flood multiple minds at once, so MC lets out a half-chuckle half-sigh and moves on. She does take a mental note of the hint of possessiveness in Napoleon's comment just now who instantly got worried about another man being prompted to touch her inappropriately. As if anyone has the balls to touch Napoleon's woman, she thinks to herself… and kind of likes the way it sounds in her head.

It's a shame that Leonardo and Comte aren't joining them tonight and are instead enjoying a more sane way of getting alcohol in their system, in some quiet corner of the mansion. And Comte is totally not smoking a cigarillo right now while talking to his old friend, claiming that he hasn't had one in forever, again. And for that matter, Jean's presence is missed as well, but sadly (although understandably) he dislikes partaking in such activities. He's a lot like Mozart in this regard, with the difference that Mozart becomes another person when he drinks some. And that person loves joining drinking games with his buddies!

"If we're all ready - here we go!"

MC gives the cup a rather unnecessary bartender-style shake, assuring the chopsticks are well shuffled and ready to make it to all the wrong hands.

Once placed on the table, a crowd of hands quickly reach into the cup and sneakily withdraw in order to hide their new secret identity, with the exception of one person who has nothing to hide.

"I'm the king. My, I wasn't prepared for this."

As Sebastian holds up the chopstick of fate high in the air for all to see, a few pairs of surprised eyes catch his own. And something like a shimmer lights up in Sebastian's ones.

For someone as unprepared as him, he surely doesn't waste time on thinking about his next move. Not at all.

"Number 6, exchange a clothing item with number 1. Number 3, take off your pants without using your hands. And number 4 must do a handstand."

"By Jove, Sebas, your fetishes are showing!" Arthur blinks, both surprised and somehow entertained by the turn of events which (in his own head) kicks him off the position of number one most perverted person around the table. Or at least for the time being. He's only smiling now because he's safe, being the lucky number 7 and out of Sebastian's fantasies.

Isaac and Theo can't say the same. They exchange a look - eyes traveling up and down each other's frames - looking for a convenient clothing item to exchange, given their different builds. Theo is done with his choice first, and he reaches over the table to undo Isaac's necktie. The smaller man averts his gaze, turning his head away as much as he can so it's not in Theo's way, or perhaps out of embarrassment, but it's over before it ever began thanks to Theo's rough but effective methods of freeing the cloth from under his collar. Using the chance coming with the shortened distance, Isaac snatches Theo's scarf in return as the most adequate thing to take.

"Aw, you two are boring." Napoleon mocks for change, drumming his fingers on the table with a smirk. Theo muses with the thin black tie in his hands, turning to Napoleon with an empty look and silently wrapping it around his forehead instead, tying it off at the side.

"Is this better?"

"Snrk. I don't know, what do we think, Sebas?"

"I approve of your new look, Master Theodorus. Or should I drop the 'Master'? I'm the King now, after all."

MC gasps, "Sebas! Oh, this game is dangerous…"

"Tell me about it. My first dare and I already have to drink. Woe is me." Dazai weeps, rising up from his seat to point at his hakama, making it impossible for him to complete the take off your pants without hands dare.

"Guess that leaves me." Napoleon sighs, pushing his chair back audibly as he stands up.

"Ooh! Go for it, Naps!"

"Good thing it went to someone who's in good shape. I bet it's a piece of cake for him."

"We'll see now." Napoleon smirks to himself, rubbing his hands together as he prepares to tackle the handstand. His eyes get serious for a second as he calculates it all, and in the next moment, his hands are flat against the floor changing the center of his weight. While he's upside down, the gravity makes his partly untucked shirt expose his abs.

Someone whistles, and MC finds herself staring. As if for the first time.

All too soon, Napoleon is back on his feet again, dusting off his palms and retaking his seat by the table. Sebastian is beaming. "I like this game. Thank you for the idea, MC."

"Thank you, MC." Mozart chimes in, for some reason, oblivious to Sebastian making history tonight as opposed to quietly observing it from the side like usual.

"Haha, you guys are welcome… so, let's do it again, shall we? Let's see who will be King this time around~!"

After the new shuffle of chopsticks, everyone seems a little more lively, a little more hopeful - some driven by revenge and some simply by the contagious evil brewing in the air.

"Who is King?"

Out of the people looking at their newly acquired chopsticks, Napoleon is the one who speaks up.

"I guess that would be me."

"It's Napoleon, huh…"

"Oh, how fitting! You were born for it, Naps."

"Haha, not really."

"My bad. You're an emperor, not a king. I'm so sorry, Your Majesty."

Napoleon snorts, not playing along - or perhaps his dismissing the extended apology is his way of playing along. MC raises an eyebrow, studying his reaction. Napoleon's attitude towards these things is… rather complicated, as he seems to both loathe his so-called days of glory and simultaneously accept them for what they are, a part of him. She's been confused more than once about what's a good way of navigating through the situation when the topic is brought up in their conversations. On one hand, she hates the change of expression on his face that makes her feel like winter has returned - even if it's never going to feel to her like how it felt to him, the cruel winter - on the other, she knows he hates it when people walk on eggshells around him.

But now they're all at least half-drunk and merely goofing around. No one's bothered to care about these things, and maybe Napoleon prefers they don't anyway.

"Number 5, hold three ice cubes in your mouth until they melt. Number 4, confess about a fetish you have in front of everyone. Number 2, crack an egg over Number 7's head. Number 1, give me a massage."

"N-Napoleon is a sadist!!"

"So cruel…"

And he's laughing too. Sadistic tendencies aside, his laughter sounds every bit as genuine (and loud) as MC always remembers it to be, and it's strangely soothing. Maybe she should refuse a dare just for the shot, just to drown her worries a little more… Taking a look at her chopstick again because she thinks she heard her number, she sees a 1.

Theo goes somewhere, for ice presumably, despite Sebastian's offer to do it in his stead, and Arthur follows. "Wait, I'll go for the eggs."

"Who got the fetish one?" Napoleon browses the faces of the ones left at the table to spot the flushed one. Vincent raises a hand.

"My fetish is, um… I don't really-"

"Come on Vincent-kun, we all have fetishes~"

"I think I could say… maybe… um.."

"Yes? Go on, say it. We won't judge."

"I'd love it if my partner would touch themselves and let me watch."

"That's perfectly normal, Master Vincent. Nothing to be ashamed of."

"Woah, it's both very vanilla and somehow kinky at the same time..." MC muses out loud. "Oh, but nothing to be ashamed of, certainly!"

Arthur and Theo return, with the latter immediately taking note of Vincent's beet-red face.

"What did I miss? Broer?"

"The fetish dare… Don't worry, Theo, I just had a shot instead."

"Oh, that's good. I mean, no it's not! Napoleon, how dare you make mjin broer take a punishment!"

"It wasn't really- Anyway, Theo, let's shut you up now."

Theo groans, dragging on every move as if giving the ice a chance to melt as much as possible before the inevitable contact with his mouth. At last, there's nowhere to escape and he pops the cubes in his mouth, thankfully they fit.

"Okay, I've been waiting for this. Who gets an egg in the head?"

"It's me… I hate this game…"

Isaac cards his fingers through his strawberry locks, as if for one last time while they're still egg-free. In the meantime, Theo's expression twists, less out of sympathy and more because the ice begins to torture him from the inside out.

"And the executioner?"

"Master Isaac, I'm truly sorry, it's me." Sebastian raises his gloved hand.

"Ahahaha! Haha!" Mozart laughs at the turn of events seeing a servant disserving his master. Or maybe the reason behind his laughter is nowhere that complex. One thing is certain, for some reason, he always gets out of the bunch's drinking games taking no damage in the form of nasty dares and punishments.

Sebastian stands up reluctantly, then sits down again. "Should I just drink? But I have to remind, I can't hold my liquor very well, I'm afraid."

"Just get it over with. I won't be mad at you or anything."

Sebastian sighs to show a little more reluctance before committing the deed. He looks like he's trying to miss his target, but unfortunately the raw egg still perfectly lands on Isaac's head, quickly descending down his face. Isaac's grossed-out expression mirrors Theo's current agony. As someone hands Isaac a handkerchief to wipe off the sticky mess with, another jokingly calls the sight erotic…

"Alright, I'm ready for my massage. Who shall serve the King?"

Napoleon relaxes back in his seat demonstratively in anticipation. It's a bold invitation, and everyone looks up to see the chosen one.

"My king."

MC stands up, showing her chopstick marked with the number 1. She tries to mute the sound of the others' reactions in her head as suddenly her pulse speeds up.

Napoleon flashes her a grin.

"Very well. The King is expecting you."

He lifts his glass to his lips as he hasn't touched it since the beginning of the game, probably deeming it worthless with the nature of the game. Not that he's expecting to be drinking anytime soon - he's simply not the type to back out from any dare unless it's too ridiculous even for him. Maybe that's why he started to miss the warmth at the back of his throat.

As MC makes her way to where he sits, she witnesses the singular bobbing of his Adam's apple when he gulps down the liquid, and she watches dumbstruck for a second as he motions for her to take a sip if she wants to, from the same glass. Well, yes, she finished her own drink a while ago. She accepts the glass from his hold.

"Now, what kind of massage should I request? Hmm…"

Arthur's dirty remarks fall on deaf ears as MC focuses on not choking on the liquid in her mouth.

Napoleon is a giver.

But there's something damn attractive when he allows himself to take from others.

"The king orders you to rub his shoulders."

And it's damn attractive when he's commanding like that. She sees now what the others were referring to in their provocations earlier - it rolls so, so easily off his tongue when he gives an order like this. Even if it's for a stupid game, the sharp look he gives her feels rather… real.

Not that this is anything new to her. For all Napoleon's gentleness, in the bedroom, he has this side of him that colors him rather dominant. And she'd be lying if she said she's gotten so used to it by now she doesn't feel anything between her legs right this moment. Instead of being a liar, she blames it on the alcohol.

Standing behind Napoleon, MC puts her hands on his broad shoulders… and really, it's been a while since she last gave him a massage. Usually, it's the other way around, as Napoleon added it to his ever-growing list of skills, even if initially it was something he'd never done before, given his status in his past life. Now she has his shoulders all to herself to knead and push at, and she catches herself putting selfishness in the act of service. Because she can't help but have impure thoughts.

Napoleon groans. It's quiet but she catches it over the cacophony of other noises in the room coming from the rowdy bunch. They're already setting things up for the next round, and here she's still stuck on her dare. She doesn't want to go back to her seat. Maybe Napoleon can read her thoughts like he always does and offer her his lap for the rest of the night; maybe he will go further and excuse the two of them for the night-

One hand at work, she reaches the other into the cup because they tell her to, and it appears to be Isaac's turn to be King. Good for him, but bad for everyone else. Seems like it's going to be a long night…

Later in the night and a few more rounds down the line, apples have been eaten without hands, glasses have been downed, a few mounts were the targets of unpleasant substances, either deadly spicy or deadly sweet, some clothes have been removed, some eyes filled with tears - and the collective level of soberness in the room has been drastically lowered.

It's a surprise how they even managed to put an end to it before the sun came out when naturally there's always someone who didn't get a chance to take revenge on someone else. Napoleon and Theo, being the best at holding their liquor as per usual, felt it their duty to help the others to their rooms.

MC didn't have much to drink, otherwise she'd be asleep on the pile of residents by now. Not that she intended to retain some of her soberness, it simply happened - because the bubbling feeling in her chest wasn't caused by alcohol, to begin with.

Napoleon, always the caretaker. Maybe if she throws herself at him he'll carry her to her room as well.

"Goodnight, Theo, go get some sleep." The sound of him returning after separating from Theo interrupts her daydreams.

Once he sees he's all alone with MC, he offers her a smile.

"And we're the last ones again. C'mon Nunuche, let's go to our room."

"Carry me?"

MC tries her best puppy-dog eyes at him, and he tests her for a second like it doesn't work on him. He then gawks at her laziness, hoisting her up his shoulder and giving her ass a little spank. "Let's get you to bed, naughty Nunuche. Some of those guys will be mad at you for weeks, you know? But you better not give them those eyes. Only I get to see them."

"Mm…Napoleon?"

The varnished floorboards creak under Napoleon's steps as he makes his way down the hall, holding MC's weight securely. "Yes?"

"Do you really enjoy it? You know, being treated like a majesty."

It's a short trip, and MC's perspective soon goes back to normal as the floor and the walls swap their places once more before her eyes. Not that she's interested in it, so she throws herself at the bed in the next second, sinking in the welcoming embrace of the comforter, not bothering with removing it at least for the time being.

"Pfft, where did that come from?" Napoleon says while closing the door behind him. The crickets are still singing their songs under their window, it can't be that late in the night.

"From the game. For a second I was worried it left a bad taste in your mouth."

"Hmm." Napoleon fake-muses, kicking off his shoes before sinking one knee on the bed. "I think I liked it when you were the one treating me like a majesty."

"No, don't joke, tell me seriously."

"I am serious though."

Somehow they end up in this position that doesn't help resolve the tension poisoning the air around them one bit; with him caging her with his body on the soft mattress and her having nowhere else to look at but right at his penetrating gaze. Her fingers twitch, nails catching into the fabric of the comforter, seeking a sense of stability.

"I just need to know in case…"

"In case what? In case you take it a little too far in role-playing? In case you go down on me and the words mon empereur leave your lips?"

Like a spark to the kerosene pooling low in her belly, Napoleon's words make beautiful explosions bloom behind her eyelids that have fallen shut amidst the last sentence. She takes a breath but it only feeds the fire as she can't help the way her exhale sounds raspy.

"Would you like that?"

"Would you?"

MC bites on her bottom lip. "This is not about me."

"I thought you wanted to serve your King."

She averts her gaze, because if she looks a little longer at this alluring jade gaze that reeks of sex, she'll be able to feel herself losing her composure, and she's trying to have a serious conversation here.

"I do."

"Hmm." Napoleon plays with her, trailing a hand down her modest home dress, prodding at the buttons at the front. "This is bad, I don't know what to ask for first. I've lost shape."

"Liar. You were perfect at it earlier."

"Someone's been paying attention. Were you also fucking me with your eyes? Right there, at the table?"

MC takes two sharp breaths, and it resembles panting, all too soon. It's out of irritation and not arouse, not yet. When she pictured their little game, she thought she'd just have to bow her head obediently and indulge in her desire to serve. Not enduring Napoleon's verbal teasing as any other night.

"Is it that bad? Will my King punish me now as he sees fit?"

Napoleon looks at her. For all the things that may be at the tip of his tongue, MC imagines most vividly the tone Napoleon would speak them in and how much he's cut for the role. Her soul sings at the thought, but it's nothing holy.

"Get up then. Don't you think it's a little rude to be lying down in my presence?"

That's fair. With renewed vigor, she pushes herself off the bed and waits readily by the side of it.

"Remember to not look me in the eyes. It's forbidden. You'll only look when I allow you to, if I allow you to. You'll have to earn my grace."

Instinctively, MC wants her nod to be accompanied by eye contact, but she corrects her mistake before it can even take place.

"Present yourself. Take it all off."

MC blinks surprisedly at how fast things are happening but isn't against it at all. She has the feeling that he is capable of making her do all sorts of dirty things with a mere flick of his tongue, undressing for him is nothing.

She makes a show of it, despite not having many articles of clothing on her to take off seductively - before long, she's stepping out of her dress that has pooled at her feet, and she retakes her previous position.

"I'm pleased with what I'm seeing. Come closer. Kiss me."

He doesn't have to ask twice. It's something familiar and yearned for since they crossed the threshold of their room—hell, no, since they took a seat at the table for that game. It's welcoming and fulfilling and it's just what she needed-

Or so she thought, until she terribly embarrassed herself with a rather awkward and rigid pressing of lips against lips, and no movement. In her selfishness, and out of habit, she left her mouth open for Napoleon's invasion. But she's forgetting to consider that kings get tired of their conquests too.

She summons her boldness and turns the desire in her veins into fuel for action. She shoves her tongue in Napoleon's mouth, but gently, not with the intention to dominate, but rather to serve. To kiss him until he gets enough. Her tongue swirls against his own, the movement rather clumsy, the making out of a juvenile rather than that of a skillful lover… but it's what he wants. He wants to see her seduce him, use every millimeter of her body for his pleasure, and keep going until he has his fill.

A thin string of saliva connects their lips upon her withdrawal, and her eyes are shut tight. She has to keep them shut, otherwise she'll look right at him. Napoleon chuckles.

"You may open them."

She does, and the sight is not kind on her fragile composure. Locking eyes with Napoleon has never felt like this, like a privilege, and exploring this new feeling is exciting.

"You're not half bad with your mouth. Undress me and put it to use."

Heartbeat thumping in her ears, MC finds it impossible to conduct herself in that moment; to sturdy her hands into performing the task and to break her gaze from his piercing pools of jade. She starts with the shirt, more tugging at the buttons rather than precisely undoing them, before pushing it completely off his shoulders, and finally letting it fall to the floor. He's glorious with just his trousers on and that scrutinizing, almost cold gaze. She opens the fly enough to take his hardness out, and her stomach tightens instinctively.

She wets her lips and parts them, taking in the head of his cock, letting it rest on her tongue. Even when her world narrows down to the hot pulsing flesh in her mouth, she catches herself dividing her focus between pleasuring her lover and.. the position she's doing this in. There's a little bit of getting used to it being required, and it makes her realize how unfamiliar that is - her being on her knees, on the hardwood floor, and Napoleon standing upright. When was the last time they've found themselves in that exact arrangement? It could've happened once or twice before, in the heat of the moment, or when the space had limited them. But never intentionally. Not because MC has anything against it - rather, it would be Napoleon who changes the position whether he's about to receive oral. He makes sure he's at least sitting down at the edge of the bed, where MC can rest her hands on his hips, or on the bed. Where he can see her better, to check up on her. Now she has to look up to see him, and he seems so far away, or maybe her eyes are doing tricks on her, or maybe her vision is blurring because she accidentally took his cock too deep down her throat and now tears are gathering in the corners of her eyes.

Napoleon brings his hand over her head and collects a fistful of her hair, one unfamiliar thing after another - but before intimidation can mix into her blood, she breathes in deeply, because it's not him forcing her down his cock, it's him forcing her off it.

He holds his cock firmly by the base as he directs it at her parted lips again, but doesn't breach the gap between them. He simply rubs his cockhead on the soft cushion of them, gathering the saliva that starts to droll down and smearing it back on her lips.

"A pretty mouth indeed."

MC can only look at him. She looks at him like she's looking straight at an open flame.

"Next," Napoleon begins, cupping her chin and caressing with his thumb where his cock used to be just a second ago. "I want you to go on the bed and show me the position you want to be taken in. Can you do that for your King?"

MC finally averts her gaze; it happens involuntarily, purely as a reaction to another surge of surprise and embarrassment.

"I— Yes, my King."

Napoleon angles her chin up, a signal for her to rise to her feet. Yes, that would be a good start.

The bed is just two steps away from where she is but MC feels like she can trip thrice on the way there with how much her legs have turned to jelly. Still, she makes it. There's not much room for thinking this through, for deciding on what would work out best for both of them - normally it's him who takes these decisions, anyway - so once she leans forward on the bed, she gives way to impulsivity and the way it saves her from having to give it any more thought. If she has to name the reason, it would be that it aligns with everything that Napoleon is tonight. Of course it would be fitting if he were to take her on her hands and knees.

"Does this… please you?"

She hears the rustling of clothes behind her back, probably the sound of Napoleon getting rid of his trousers, before he approaches her. He doesn't say anything about approving the position or not, and MC can't decide if his silence is worse. He comes to stand right behind her, and she crawls a little closer to the edge of the bed to make sure their skin is touching. Napoleon lets one hand roam from the fold of her knee up to the curve of her butt, and MC jumps lightly at the touch. Needless to say, she's sensitive and oh-so neglected. Her insides throb at the mere proximity of Napoleon's slender fingers close to her sex - it's a miracle she doesn't come undone on the spot as he actually directs his touch to the apex of her thighs. Wetness catches on his fingertips and he wastes little time caressing her folds before plunging two fingers inside.

"Nnghhh…" MC tosses her head, trying her best to enjoy the feeling of finally, finally claiming some pleasure but without losing herself completely in it. Napoleon twists his fingers until his open palm is facing upwards, thrusts in and out a few times in a way that doesn't intend to bring pleasure but rather to prepare - and then his fingers audibly and briskly exit her wetness.

MC whines at the loss of his fingers but finds a new fire sparkled to life inside her, and she's more than happy she wouldn't have to wait any longer for the next dose of intoxicating pleasure.

"Good girl. Do you want my cock?" Napoleon asks, openly and greedy. He's not risking having her beat around the bush by posing a more generic question like what she wants next. They both know the answer to that already.

Not that he spares her the torturous reminder of what she'll get by saying the right thing. He rubs his flushed tip on her glistening folds, pressing it in enough to just barely catch on her entrance; to make her bite her tongue and assume he just might show mercy and put it in without her pleading for it.

"I- Yes, please, Napoleon— take me, fuck me! Please…"

She only realizes once it slips out that she used his name and not the object of their little game of pretend that is his title, but there's no going back.

Napoleon doesn't punish her for it. Instead, he rewards her, giving her what she wants most. The groan he lets out as the familiar warmth and tightness enfolds his aching cock is telling of his own desperation.

MC cries out at the intrusion, only now understanding the difference of not having him finger her for longer prior to this. It doesn't hurt - she just feels a little fuller somehow. A little on edge. He gives her time to adjust, however, and she just basks into this dangerous feeling for as long as it's there until he carefully withdraws only to give it another thrust.

"Ahh!" Her insides squeeze around Napoleon again, as he goes in deeper this time. She blames the position, trying to reason out why she feels him in her guts. Napoleon withdraws again, and then pushes in, trying to fit even more of himself inside.

"You're taking me so well. I'm so deep inside you, I bet you can feel me in your deepest parts."

She groans at his words and their truthfulness as his thrusts grow rhythmic, the place where they're connected burning with the delightful friction, and her arms soon give out. She buries her head between her hands, enduring the change of angle as her rear sticks out, and Napoleon keeps pounding at her. His own sounds of pleasure are barely masked by the sounds of skin on skin, but he's not hiding them either. He lets her know how good she's making him feel, telling her something dirty in a low voice that she can barely register over the drumming in her ears.

"You feel so good- merde- Ngh. I want to stay inside you forever."

He's always holding her tightly when he fucks her, his grip being strong enough to leave marks the following day, but there's something about the way he takes hold of her hips now. At first, MC thinks nothing of it, lost in euphoric pleasure. It's only when she feels her knees being lifted off the bed that she understands what's happening.

Napoleon rises up her bottom to meet his hips, in his standing upright position, taking full control of her body in that moment. He's so strong, making it all seem effortless; and it's not a matter of matching his thrusts anymore - she can't do anything. She's facing away, with one pair of limbs immobilized and the other grasping uselessly for purchase at the covers. Her whole body rocks back and forth, feeling like a ragdoll in Napoleon's arms. There's something primal and simultaneously embarrassing about how good it feels to give herself over to him like that; about the trust she puts in him to have her completely at his mercy.

And then Napoleon stills inside her. And he groans. And before she knows it, a warm spray of come hits her walls. Her eyes widen, only now realizing they've already been going at it for a while, for a while enough that he seemingly couldn't hold back and—

And maybe he just didn't feel like waiting for her to come before he does.

The realization makes her dizzy in an unexplainable way, and she moans so loudly she feels herself pathetically falling into that bottomless fit, just like that, just as Napoleon takes his cock out of her. It's petrifying, coming without him inside her, but strangely the pleasure never ceases. His hand finds his way between her quivering thighs and shoves them apart in a quick manner, beginning to rub at her clit; whispering praises against the skin of her nape, enveloping her smaller body with his own from behind as she presses into the bed so violently, chasing after her peak.

"Come for me. Come for me and scream my name."

And that's enough to tip her over the edge. Coming with Napoleon's load inside her intensifies the feeling; the way her insides are still remembering his shape, the way she's so full yet so empty. It makes her see stars.

"Napoleon— Ahhhhh!!"

"I'm here. I'm here, mon amour."

Napoleon holds her trembling form as he draws out the last of her high, gently moving her into a spooning position. He keeps touching her everywhere, her belly, her breasts, the curve of her shoulder, caressing all the spots that went unloved in their game.

"I felt— so good I thought I might die—"

Napoleon huffs out a breathy chuckle, and it tickles the babyhairs at the base of her neck.

"I'd be lying if I said this doesn't stroke my ego, Nunuche.", he whispers, and it's somehow more shiver-inducing than anything he's said that night. "I think you might be right. I might be enjoying myself a bit too much when I'm calling the shots."

MC turns her neck just enough to look at him from the corner of her eye. She studies him again, with his disheveled hair and boyish smile and his low tolerance of putting up a front now that he gave voice to his most basic instinct and let it rob him of the ability to give anything more thought than he needs to. She leans in for a kiss and he takes the initiative enthusiastically but ends up drawing it out to make the remaining endorphins dance slowly between their bodies.

Letting the tiredness in her limbs settle in just like the fact that the room is several shades a brighter blue than how they entered it, MC only nuzzles back onto Napoleon's chest, trying not to give voice to the heat between her legs beginning to awake again without a sense of the time.

"And I might just love to see you like that. Mon empereur."

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[daengtokki]

Kim Seungmin/gn!reader

wc: ~2.7k

rating: mildly angsty cheesy fluff (idiot enemies to lovers)

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ happy (belated) birthday to @thackery-blinks and our Seungmo ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

“I don't wanna see him...I don't like him, I think I hate him”

you what?

If anyone were in the room with you, they definitely would have heard her booming voice coming through the phone. You have to pull it away from your ear for a moment, but that’s all she has to say. For now.

“I said…” you rub your ringing ear and turn the volume down. “I said I hate him.”

hate is a big word, I'm not sure he deserves that

“He’s arrogant, and he's rude to me. Don’t pretend you’ve suddenly forgotten.”

you’re hyper-fixating…and maybe a little jealous because he’s cute and funny around everyone else. and he’s not rude, he can’t be rude if he never says anything to you

You can hear her laugh even though she moves away from the phone.

“Are you trying to piss me off? I’ll stay home tonight, and you know that’s not just a threat.” You will. You hate going out at the last minute almost as much as you can’t stand Kim Seungmin. “...such an asshole.”

excuse me??

“Not you, shut up”

he has a weird sense of humor…c’mon, you know what this is, right?

“Yeah. A congrats slash going away party for our favorite touchy kissy couple. Is it awful that I’m relieved I won’t have to be subjected to any more of their over-the-top pda?”

no, I won’t miss it…but you’re also chronically angry and single, so you might be more relieved—but that’s not what I was I referring to

“I’m ready, are you on your way?”

yeah, this lights been red for ten minutes, I swear…what’s with the selective hearing tonight? I’m coming in to make sure you’re dressed right so don’t wait for me outside

“I hear you, I just don’t wanna listen to your ‘Seungmin actually likes you’ theory again”

my hypothesis…I need more evidence

/ / /

She’s quiet for the first ten minutes of the drive, only because a perfect string of songs pop up on the playlist, but as soon as it ends, she turns the volume down…

“Are you ready to hear this?”

“No”

“Alright, so there’s literally no reason…none at all for Seungmin to not like you, or be weird around you, or less talkative, or just walk away when you enter the room”

“But he does all of those things”

“Right. Do you not read romance novels? Fanfiction?”

“What kind of fanfiction are you reading?”

She’s already exhausted of your aloofness…or just your refusal to accept anything more than what’s already in your head. But you’ve known him, known of him, for a few months now. He doesn’t give you anything aside from what you catch when he’s with others. You’re invisible when he’s in the room, and the more you think about it, the shittier you feel.

“Hello, you good? You might not read fanfiction, but you’re staring out of that window like the protagonist in very sad story. No, antagonist. You’re my antagonist.”

“I am not,” you sigh. Everything suddenly feels very heavy, and maybe it’s because you know you’re almost there.

“There wasn’t much fight in that. You better perk up, we’re almost there.”

/ / /

The first thing you see is him, and it’s not because you’re looking. Seungmin is leaning against the staircase bannister, arms folded loosely over his sweatshirt. He’s less than ten feet away when the two of you walk in the door, but he doesn’t move, and he doesn’t turn his head out of curiosity. You’re surprised he doesn’t sense your presence and walk away.

“Sorry we’re late,” she says, making sure to gently shove you forward in his direction. “But we brought gifts!”

Now Seungmin looks at the two of you. First his eyes land on her, but they quickly dart in your direction, and they linger much longer than you expect. As much as you don’t want to scare him off, you take the rare moment to look at him from such a small distance—just his eyes, though.

“It’s us, we’re the gifts”

Seungmin clears his throat and takes his leave, just like you expect.

“Well, go after him”

“Why would I go after him? Please, give it a rest…I’m already tired.”

“Okay, okay…I’m sorry. Are you good?”

“No.” They’re angry tears, but nobody else knows that. "Not really." To the other eight people in the room, tears are tears, and you don’t want them seeing you, but it's too much to hold back. “I need a minute.”

You shove through her and the next arriving couple on your way outside, but you didn’t really think beyond this. It’s cold out, and you’re not really dressed to sit around by the water, but that’s where you head on instinct. It’s empty back here, which is what you need right now, and the cool air on your warm, red, tear-streaked face. Why are you even crying? Nothing has happened, not really. Seungmin looked at you, and his stupid brown eyes sparkled and grew as they watched you for far too long. Why did he have to look at you like that?

The gazebo is what you typically claim when you’re back here. That’s where you go. It’s not exactly comfortable, but it’s pretty, and it keeps you mostly hidden from anyone looking out from the house.

A text message buzzes, but you take your time pulling it out and checking. All it’s going to be is someone, your friend, looking for you.

come back inside

“I’ll think about it” …you reply.

he never came back in the room, if that makes you feel better

“It doesn’t”

You get a few more minutes of peace and quiet, but you’ll admit that you’re already getting cold sitting out here. The wind is coming off of the lake and right at you, and every time a stray tear falls, it feels like it might freeze. This won't accomplish anything, you know that, but hiding from everything is so much easier. You might hate yourself for it later, but right now you feel good in the chilly air.

And then there's a crunch of footsteps. You ignore it. Someone has found you, but that doesn’t mean you’re getting up and going with them that easily. You've already decided this is where you belong right now, and you'll stick to that until you're dragged back inside. The footsteps stop...whoever it is doesn’t speak, though. There's only the sound of something being dropped close to you ear, and the footsteps start to retreat almost immediately.

It’s a coat, draped neatly on the railing. A black cotton one that looks vaguely familiar, and when you turn a little more, you remember when you saw him wearing it last.

“Wait!”

You almost trip as you get to your feet, and you’re glad he hasn’t turned to see you yet. But he does—he stops and turns. He looks like he wants to keep walking, though, and he does…Seungmin takes a few more slow steps backward as he watches you grab the jacket and hold it against your chest. His scent reaches your nose. You’ve never been close enough to him to know it, but now you do.

There’s nothing to say, though. You have nothing to say to him, or you do and you just don’t know how to put the words together.

Seungmin stops, and then takes two steps toward you. Is he having fun? Is he just playing with you? Tears start to brim again, and luckily he’s not close enough to see it. If you don’t figure out your next move, he’ll turn and leave and you might not get this much attention from him again.

“Did she make you come out here?”

“Make me? No, nobody makes me do anything.”

You’re glad he’s not close enough to see you roll your eyes. “Then what’s this for?” You look at his jacket, and when you look back to him, he’s taking two more big steps toward you.

“It’s cold.” He says flatly, and maybe waits for your response that never comes. “I saw you walking out from the bathroom window. By yourself.”

“And?”

Are you making him uncomfortable? He looks like he doesn’t know how to answer for his actions, and maybe he doesn’t. He’s never concerned himself with your actions before, but you also never do anything to bring attention to yourself. This was an overreaction on your part.

“And…"

Uncomfortable, maybe. Confused…probably. Maybe you should kick him while he’s stumbling over himself. “Why are you concerned with how cold I am?”

Two more steps, and now he can definitely see your puffy face. “Sorry, I'll leave you alone."

He can’t be serious. Does he want you to explain this to him? The look on his face does seem a little helpless, and you’ve never seen him look anything but sure of himself.

“This is the second time you’ve spoken to me in months.” This is also the first time you’ve been alone with him for more than a few moments.

“That's because you always seem to be pissed off. You always look angry when I see you. You don't right now...you looked upset when you walked through the door a little bit ago.

Your eyes drop to the ground in front of him, and you have to work hard to relax the scowl on your face. “I’m not angry.”

"So I never tried talking to you. I assumed you didn't want to, since you never spoke to me, either."

The first time the two of you met, you exchanged a brief hello, and that was that. You remember it very well. Seungmin took your hand in his and squeezed it so softly. His eyes were intense, but warm, and now you’re wondering if you were wearing your scowl when you first looked at him. Why could you have?

“Put the coat on, please”

You’re shivering. So is he. Seungmin takes one more step and grabs the baluster, and you think he’s going to come up here with you, but he doesn’t. You let go of the coat and finally swing it around your shoulders. The scent coming from it makes your knees weak.

“Thank you”

This time he steps up, and he’s at your level. Above it, actually. He’s looking down on you, and every bit of space closed between you makes you feel even weaker. Stupid, so stupid. Nothing is even happening. He’s just standing there, looking at you drowning in his warm jacket. You could curl up on the ground and fall asleep in all this warmth, but his stare is making you anxious.

“You look mad again”

“I’m not,” you pounce, and you force yourself to relax again. “I’m not mad. I…I’m just...”

“I have witnessed you smiling and laughing…not with me, but I always wondered why I couldn’t do it. I can never get anything from you.”

The conversation doesn’t feel real, but it’s real enough for the party guests—a few of them peer out through the kitchen window, thinking they’re being discreet.

Seungmin has made you laugh before, but only in your head. And he’s made you smile, too…as you’re drifting to sleep and thinking of him doing exactly what he’s doing right now.

“You do make me laugh”

“I do?”

“Yeah, don’t tell anyone I said that”

You make him laugh—Seungmin actually laughs, genuinely, and it sounds so much nicer than any laugh you’ve heard from him before.

“That’s not fair. They see you making me laugh right now.”

They do. Three people are by the patio door, probably wondering why he isn’t in there charming everyone. You managed to steal him away, and you wonder how long you can keep him out here with you despite your numb face.

“We should go back in, it’s cold. You’re cold.”

“I’m fine. I really didn’t wanna come tonight anyway, so being out here is better.”

“You’d rather stand out in the cold by yourself than hang out with everyone?”

“I’m not by myself”

He laughs under his breath, but his smile is a little bit wider. “So you’d rather stand out here with me than enjoy the party?”

Yes, you don’t say it out loud. How could you? The way you’ve played up your hatred for him to others, and your indifference to his face since you’ve met. It’s a little embarrassing. But it’s painful being around Seungmin…pretending you’re not upset every time you’re dragged to group outing is exhausting.

“I’m gonna take that as a yes unless you say otherwise”

Perfect. Saying nothing should be easy, but this time you open your mouth. “I can’t pretend I’m happy when I’m not.”

“You don’t have to”

“But I put on a mask when you’re around and make everyone think I’m unhappy, even when I’m not”

“You’re not?”

“I mean…I am, because you leave the room every time I walk in. But I’m not, because you’re still around, somewhere…and maybe I still have a chance.”

“A chance. So you don’t hate me?”

“No, but I don't want to get my heart broken," why are you spilling your guts to him? "So we should just go back to how things were before.” The words are just falling out of you, and looking at him like this and being with him, finally alone, makes you want to keep going until there's nothing left.

“No, we shouldn't. And I don't want mine broken, either.”

Seungmin is in front of you now, blocking you from everyone still hanging around the window. They seemed to be getting bored watching the two of you talk and do nothing else, so you at least feel like you’re alone with him again.

He reaches toward you, and you jump.

“Sorry,” he whispers and pulls at the collar of the jacket, “but if you’re not going inside,” and bends to connect and pull the zipper until it’s closed up to your chin.

You’re sure you look ridiculous in it—it’s already a little bit big on him. And no, you don’t want to go back in, because the thought of everyone staring at the two of you as you finally return…

“No, I’d rather go home”

“I can take you home”

“Everyone is in there waiting for you”

“The party will still be here when I get back”

“I don’t know you very well.” You pull the zipper down a few inches. “At all, actually.”

“Oh, you don’t want me to take you home?” He smirks. “That’s very smart and safe of you. I could be a serial killer for all you know.”

“I mean I don’t know enough about you to…ya know, like you as much as I do”

He laughs again…just a sweet, maybe a little embarrassed giggle. “So you do?”

“What?”

Seungmin is blushing. You’ve seen him do this before; the blush, the giggle, and the smile so big you thought his face would crack every time a someone flirted with him. It was hard to hide then—that horrible sinking feeling in your gut when you thought he might leave with one of them. But now he’s blushing for you, and nobody else.

“You've been skirting around the words the entire conversation, and you have to spell things out for me sometimes. I didn’t wanna make a move until you said it."

“Said what, that I want you?"

“Wow…yeah, if you wanna put it like that. You want me,” he laughs again, “I guess I want you, too.”

“Make a move, please.” You whisper through your chattering teeth, and turn your head as your heart threatens to jump right out of your chest.

“Please?” Seungmin smirks pulls the zipper down a bit more, enough that you catch the cold breeze on your neck and chest. And then he’s there, lips an inch from yours, and he stares. “Please.”

You close the space between you, cautiously press your lips to his. His return is just as hesitant, and you’re surprised at his shyness. The zipper comes down even more, and Seungmin doesn’t stop until the coat falls open again—now he has somewhere to put his arms. They disappear inside, and he squeezes tight and deepens the kiss. He kisses like you expected him to, mouth open, tongue gently asking to be let in, and you let him in. You’re finally warm again, and you’d like to be even warmer.

“Seungmin?” You touch his neck, and his skin is hot against your cold hands, but it doesn’t faze him. His mouth quiets you when you think of speaking again, and it pains you to pull him off of you.

“What is it?”

“I don’t want an audience”

He turns and sees the group of guests gathered near patio doors; his friends, yours…all either watching or pretending not to watch the show you two are putting on.

“You just want me, yeah?" His eyes sparkle as if he can do it on command.

“Just you.” Your teeth chatter again, no matter how hard you try to stop it.

“I don’t mind ditching them for a few hours”

“You don't?”

“Not if you wanna get warmed up"

[umbralsong]

Racism in Astarion's Writing

There is a fascist takeover happening in Europe. Again. With pogroms targeting racialized and marginalized groups. Being at all silent about how media affects our perception of reality would be irresponsible of me. I stand in solidarity with you all. I will polish this as I go along, but this is for anyone who wants to understand.

Block, report, and move on from the inevitable racist shitheads. We have work to do.

Donate to Gaza here: https://gazafunds.org/ Support good causes with a click here: https://arab.org/ Ceasefire Now: https://ceasefire-now.com/ Donate to the [Sidewalk School] [Pay your rent], settlers. [KOSA Resources]

There is a... let's be charitable for a moment and call it "knee-jerk" reaction to discussions of racism in fandom. To call it character assassination, exaggeration, slander - anything but to acknowledge the dehumanizing system of power that underlies every part of this imbalance. It's only scary if you don't understand it, and as part of another group under siege for half a millenia, I am intimately familiar with it.

There are Romani perspectives on Astarion's storyline I would encourage everyone to read before mine. I don't wish to link them in case this post gets targeted. Please lend them your kind support and sincere gratitude for their contributions.

I do not "forgive" a character for questionable biases. I wonder why the writers put it there. I question its purpose in the narrative and the effect it has on the story and audience.

Let's discuss the effect:

The racism in Astarion's storyline serves no purpose, but the effects are harmful.

I've played evil (poorly). But I also have a very fucked up sense of humor and understand the appeal of a well-written fucked up little dude. Take, for instance, this Warlock from a BG3 playthrough:

Absolutely vile, but a clearly theatrical/satirical look at a classist piece of shit, you know, that sort of character. Take it as a palate cleanser after reading, and then gather your strength.

This is not a post about liking flawed characters. Please take your strawman, dust behind you, and move along.

I often find the trouble with depicting racism is the inherent unfamiliarity with the subject in a majority-white writer's room and company. There is an idea of what it entails, but not its purpose, and not its day-to-day application.

There is a veritable treasure trove of knowledge out there that I've ended up having to take in small parts. It is not easy hearing about the ways people have hurt others, systemic and otherwise. I genuinely want us to learn from this and be better for one another.

So when I see depictions of people who are Indigenous and Romani and Sinti, I wonder... why? And why were these writers chosen for this character/storyline?

In Astarion's storyline, from what I can tell, he makes light of stealing the Gur children. I can tell this is meant to be a depiction of guilt and deflection. What sucks is the fact that he's ultimately a white man making light of the fact that's... historically what they do.

The point, I believe, of him "following Cazador's orders" is to invoke the Nuremberg Defense. The tragedy is that Astarion, by D&D logic, literally couldn't do anything but follow his command. It's implied because he's defensive as hell, but he feels exceedingly guilty regardless. For all we know, it's earned.

Is Racist Magistrate Astarion still canon? If so, his "grudge" against the Gur is motivated by racism. Is that something we are prepared to confront with more than a line? Was he just a (maybe recently?) privileged asshole exercising his newfound power? In that case, his use of systemic power over the Gur may be read as a parallel to his storyline. But then the Gur need autonomy as well.

There is something to be deconstructed here, but I would not know its intimacies from my perspective. Others would. They may restructure it altogether so that it makes sense for their experience.

Here is what I know, and it should not be on this group alone to point it out: The inappropriate misuse of these tropes has encouraged racism in the fandom at large.

Performing a script well is not the fault of the voice actor, nor is the twisted logic of fans the fault of the writers. I am pointing out that reckless inclusion of certain ideas can have very unfortunate implications:

So stealing their children, expressing little remorse, and then "sparing" them the pain of executing stolen marginalized children is a good ending? I'm adding some untagged comments here for emphasis:

I find it interesting the game recognizes the complexity of the situation regarding the spawn and doesn’t punish the players or Astarion whatever the choice as long as they aren’t doing it for selfish reasons. Some good, thoughtful writing there.

Wow, even as a dedicated Astarion romancer, I was beginning to feel like it was a little unfair how much more recognition Neil is getting over the rest of the cast, but now I’m reminded of why. I’ve finished the game 3 times and never even considered not sparing the spawn, because if he deserves a chance, why don’t they? But the conviction he has behind his words in this makes me think I’ve been making the wrong choice.

Person 1: I really dislike Ulma. She’s such a judgmental Monday morning quarterback. Person 2: same, no matter what you do she'll blame Astarion for things that were outside his control

Spawn Astarion sparing their children as spawn is better and in line with his story, but for some reason, that isn't acknowledged through commentary, dialogue, or mechanics... thus, again, unfortunate implications:

To the spawn Astarion, Greetings from the family of Ulma, hunters of monsters and keepers of peace across Faerun. We know this letter finds you well, for although we hunt you no longer, we do sometimes keep a watch. Your restraint and control over your bloodlust has been admirable. Indeed, it has been an inspiration for our children, who have struggled with their own hunger. These last months have been a difficult time for our people. We have protected and nurtured our children as best we can, and we have learned much. Herbs we once used to dull our foes' minds are now sedatives to ease hunger and pain, restraints built to hold the undead now protect them from themselves. There has been a lot of pain, but a lot of progress too. Our children learned discipline and control, while we learned compassion and patience. There was a time when we would have destroyed any undead creature, our own blood or not, and called it a mercy. But then we met you. Wer saw that redemption was possible. Difficult, yes. Painful. But possible. You saved our children first from Cazador, and then from us. For that, we thank you. We will watch you still, but with more admiration than fear. Walk in peace, Astarion.

And, according to these commenters, it's better to kill them because the marginalized Elder is never satisfied with the man who stole their children?

It sounds so casual, I think. Perhaps they don't know what stealing children from a community really means.

60s scoop/residential school/reeducation camps trigger warning:

(The Scream by Kent Monkman. Alt text in link.)

Look at this painting.

Take it in with me for a moment. It is a scene taken from many memories and one. Look at how these families fought to stay together. Look at how they fight priests, nuns, and state officials - ones who my friend assured me are very friendly - how they grasp at their children with such painful desperation on their faces. It is a way for one to bear witness to unfathomable love and heartbreak.

When genocide deniers play their games, this is what they want you to pretend never happened. Don't mind the tens of thousands of child graves, or the stolen land. Just pretend these people are criminals out to swindle you, or steal your wives.

Growing up, listening to survivor testimonies, and the sweet reverberance of the remnants of survivors of slavery, you appreciate what you have. You remember every kindness. You love what you lost, and what you gained through gritted teeth.

And, you remember the unfathomable pain. It's why you promise to stop it from ever happening again, to anyone.

It is very sad. A heart is a heavy burden. Embrace it. To love is to live again, and to live again means you understand Never Again. Because people deserve to be happy. And that's worth a fight. That's why it's worth depicting with care and love, even when the subject matter threatens to choke you.

Let's get into Cazador Szarr.

I've played the game and understand that he has a backstory and some depth. What disturbs me is that an Asian man has the bloodiest, most brutal scene in the game with a white man killing him.

I can't let this be undiscussed as sinophobia rises in a pandemic. I am no authority, but I'm not ignorant. These posts are found in discussions of racism in BG3 and I would, again, prefer not to put a target on their back. Instead, show them support.

In terms of diverse storytelling, casting, and roles, I would only ask that a historical and sensitive look be applied. Hire people from these communities to act, direct, and write for that role. Writing is never easy. There is a weight and responsibility to it, but it's worth it to touch as many souls as possible.

I respect this history. That is why it is not something I believe should be thrown in as flavor text. It's why history needs to be respected as a great backstory to everything we create. We need each other, and we need art we create together.

The debt is yet to be paid.

[sativaonsaturn]

the signs in love (songs for the signs pt.2)

(check venus, moon, mars, lilith, juno!)

aries/ 1st house (a steadfast love): Love On the Brain by Rihanna (who has an aries venus)

“So you can put me together/ And throw me against the wall”

“baby I'm fist fighting with fire/ Just to get close to you”

“Don't you stop loving me/ Don't quit loving me”

taurus/ 2nd house (a strong, steady love): Real Woman by PartyNextDoor (who has a taurus venus)

“Give her what she want/ Give me just what I want”

“Last night, we were sippin' Henny and now we doin' deals”

“I'm lockin' it in 'til the very end”

“Shawty met a boss like me and put a hundred down on a condo downtown with me”

gemini/ 3rd house (an expressive, exciting love): Houdini by Dua Lipa (whose lilith is in gemini)

“I come and I go/ Tell me all the ways you need me/ I'm not here for long”

“If you're good enough, you'll find a way/ Maybe you could cause a girl to change”

“Everything you say is soundin' so sweet/ But do you practise everything that you preach?”

cancer/ 4th house (a warm, comforting love): Every Kind of Way by HER (who has a cancer venus)

“You're here with me/ Boy, it don't get no better than you”

“I wanna love you in every kind of way/ I wanna please you, no matter how long it takes”

“If the world should end tomorrow and we only have today/ I'm gonna love you in every kind of way”

leo/ 5th house (a passionate love): Part II (On the Run) by Jay Z & Beyoncé (her w/ a leo mars)

“I don't care if we on the run/ Baby, 'long as I'm next to you”

“And if loving you is a crime/ Tell me why do I bring out the best in you?”

“I don't care if they give me life, I get all of my life from you/ And if loving you had a price I would pay my life for you”

virgo/ 6th house (a considerate love): My Love Mine All Mine by Mitski (who has a virgo venus)

“Moon, tell me if I could send up my heart to you/ So, when I die, which I must do could it shine down here with you?”

“My baby, here on earth/ Showed me what my heart was worth”

“Nothing in the world is mine for free/ But my love mine, all mine, all mine”

libra/ 7th house (a storybook love): Adorn by Miguel (who has a libra mars)

“Just let my love adorn you”

“Baby, these fists will always protect ya”

“Whole world's in your eyes (when I look in your eyes, baby)”

scorpio/ 8th house (an all-consuming love): Work Song by Hozier (his scorpio lilith in 8th reminds me of this)

“No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her”

“But I swear I thought I dreamed her/ She never asked me once about the wrong I did”

“If the Lord don’t forgive me, I’d still have my baby and my babe would have me”

sagittarius/ 9th house (a thrilling love): Lowkey by Teyana Taylor (whose venus is in sag)

“If I let you, would you make a move?”

“I want it but this ain't the right time/ But, damnit, you're so fine”

“Runnin' and runnin', ain't runnin' from love/ I'm so willin' to give it a try”

capricorn/ 10th house (a serious love): You Don’t Know My Name by Alicia Keys (who has a capricorn venus)

“There's something special 'bout you, I must really like you/ 'Cause not a lotta guys are worth my time”

“I see us on our first date/ You're doin' everything that makes me smile”

“Doin' more than I've ever done for anyone's attention/ Take notice of what's in front of you”

aquarius/ 11th house (a rebellious/ unconventional love): Take Me to Church by Hozier (who has an aquarius venus)

“My lover’s got humor/ She’s the giggle at a funeral”

“Knows everybody’s disapproval/ Should’ve worshipped her sooner”

“We were born sick, heard them say it/ I was born sick but I love it”

“If I’m a pagan of the good times/ My lover’s the sunlight”

pisces/12th house (a longing love): Blessed by Daniel Caesar (who has a pisces venus)

“I don’t wanna be there, don’t wanna be anywhere/ Anyplace that I can’t feel you, I just wanna be near you”

“Sometimes it gets unhealthy/ We can’t be by ourselves, we will always need each other”

“When I go, I don’t stay gone for long”

bonus:

venus in 4th (a committed love): positions by Ariana Grande (who is a cancer sun)

“Boy, I’m tryna meet your mama on a Sunday”

“Switchin the positions for you/ I’m in the Olympics way I’m jumping through hoops”

“Know my love infinite, nothing I wouldn’t do”

sativaonsaturn 🍃🪐

[honeyhae-svt]

Untold

Kang Haerin FANFICTION (oneshot)

GN Reader x Kang Haerin - r16+!!!

GENRE: Angst, Drama, Romance, High school, RomCom.

⚠️ WARNINGS ⚠️: Infidelity (light), Betrayal, Bullying / Rumours, Jealousy, Manipulation (light).

wc: 7134

Synopsis: In high school, rumors spread, secrets come out, and friendships get tested. You thought you knew who to trust, but when betrayal strikes, everything changes. Caught between your past and a surprising connection with the new girl, Haerin, you have to decide if you can rebuild what’s been broken. It’s a story of heartbreak, healing, and a romance you didn’t see coming.

>>>pictures are from 📌, CTTO

a/n: hope y'all like this one(?), idk, maybe it's a little cliche but well, we have our preferences soo... please do enjoy this work.

You were always the lively, outgoing, and extroverted student everyone knew at school, effortlessly drawing attention wherever you went. Your charm, humor, and kindness made you popular, and it didn’t hurt that girls seemed to swoon over you more than they ever did over the boys.

You were tomboyish, smart, and playful—a combination that had both admiration and envy directed your way, particularly from the boys. After all, you could steal girls’ hearts with ease, becoming the school’s unofficial heartthrob.

"Y/Nnie, you got another confession letter, this time from..." Minji, one of your closest friends, paused to inspect the letter in her hand. "Kim something," she shrugged, tossing it onto your desk. It was already the third confession of the day.

Sighing, you put down your phone and picked up the letter. Though you received these love letters regularly, you still appreciated them, each one different in its own way. What you didn’t enjoy was the inevitable rejection that followed—figuring out how to let someone down without breaking their heart was exhausting.

"The handwriting is neat," you commented, scanning the page. "And the way they described my eyes? Not bad at all." You folded the letter and stuffed it into your bag.

Minji rolled her eyes, hopping onto the table. "You don't even know him, do you?" she asked, a sly grin on her face.

"'Him'?" You blinked, surprised.

"Yeah, him. It’s a guy." Minji confirmed, watching as your expression shifted into a frown.

You sighed again, already preparing your response. Men weren’t your thing. Ever since what happened with your father, you couldn’t bring yourself to trust them. That’s why dating girls had always been so much easier—you could be dominant, in control, the way you wanted it.

"Tell him I'm not interested," you said, leaning back in your chair and reaching for your phone.

"What? Why do I have to do it?" Minji scoffed, crossing her arms. "That's your job, not mine."

The classroom buzzed with the usual gossip and chatter as the two of you settled into the lull of scrolling through your phones.

"Oh, did you hear there’s a transfer student?" Minji added casually. You barely reacted, too caught up in your feed to care.

"She’s transferring into your class," Minji continued. Before she could elaborate, the classroom door swung open, and everyone scrambled to their seats as the teacher entered.

Curious, you put your phone away and straightened up, eyeing the unfamiliar girl who followed the teacher inside. She had wide doe, cat eyes, her hair neat and shiny, and she stood taller than most of your classmates. Her presence was quiet, but something about her intrigued you enough to look twice.

The teacher clapped his hands to get the class’s attention. “Settle down, everyone. We have a new student joining us today.” His tone was neutral, but the room was buzzing with curiosity.

You leaned back in your seat, your eyes flickering back to the new girl standing at the front. Her hands were clasped tightly together, betraying a hint of nervousness despite her calm appearance. You found yourself watching her a bit too intently—she had this quiet confidence, the kind that intrigued you, but also left you wondering what secrets lay beneath the surface.

“This is Kang Haerin,” the teacher introduced. “She’s new here, so I hope you all make her feel welcome.”

Haerin. The name felt soft, matching her gentle demeanor. Your eyes followed her as she scanned the room, her gaze landing briefly on you before she quickly looked away. Was it just your imagination, or did she look... uneasy?

“Go ahead and take a seat,” the teacher said, motioning to the empty desk a few rows ahead of yours. As Haerin moved toward it, you noticed a ripple of whispers spreading among the students. You weren’t the only one who’d been captivated by her presence.

Minji leaned over, whispering, “She's pretty cute, huh? Heard she transferred from Seoul or something.”

You barely nodded, still watching Haerin as she sat down, adjusting her hair behind her ear. There was something about her you couldn’t quite place—something that made your chest tighten a little.

As the lesson resumed, you found it impossible to focus. Your thoughts kept drifting back to Haerin, wondering what her story was. Why did she transfer? Why did she look so tense when your eyes met? You weren’t used to being thrown off by someone, but here she was, making you question things you hadn’t thought about in a long time.

When the bell rang for lunch, Minji was quick to pull you aside.

"Let’s go grab food, I’m starving," she said, dragging you out of your seat. But before you could leave the classroom, you felt a tap on your shoulder.

You turned to see Haerin standing there, her expression unreadable.

“Y/N, right?” she asked softly, her voice smooth but a little hesitant.

"Uh, yeah." You replied, trying to hide your surprise. How did she know your name?

“I—I just wanted to say hi,” she stammered, her fingers fidgeting with the strap of her bag. “You seem... popular around here.”

You blinked, caught off guard by the statement. It was rare for someone to approach you so nervously. Most girls were bold, confident, trying to catch your attention with flirty remarks or teasing grins. But Haerin wasn’t like that.

"Uh, thanks. Welcome to the school, I guess," you replied, trying to sound casual.

She smiled—just a small curve of her lips, but it felt genuine. Then, without another word, she turned and walked away, leaving you standing there with Minji watching the whole exchange, eyebrows raised.

“Hmm, weird,” Minji muttered. “New girl has guts. Didn’t expect that.”

You shrugged, trying to shake off the odd feeling lingering from your conversation with Haerin. But as you left the classroom, Minji linked her arms with you, leading you the way to the cafeteria.

The cafeteria buzzed with laughter and chatter, the familiar sound of students teasing each other filling the air. You sat with your group of friends, casually picking at your food and sipping your favorite drink. One of your friends cracked a joke, and you couldn’t help but burst out laughing, thoroughly enjoying the playful atmosphere.

But then, someone approached your table. Haerin.

She stood there with a shy smile on her lips, clutching her lunch tray. The conversation around you quieted as all eyes shifted to her—and then to you. She didn’t say a word, but the way she looked at you, seeking silent permission to sit down, which created a brief moment of awkward tension.

Clearing your throat, you reached for her tray, placing it on the table as an invitation. Haerin took the seat across from you.

"Hey, new girl—Haerin, right?" one of your friends asked. Haerin nodded, picking up her chopsticks and nibbling on her food.

It was clear she wanted to be near you, but there was a certain distance between her and everyone else at the table. Maybe it was just her shyness, or perhaps something more. When your friends tried making small talk, asking her a few questions, she responded with simple nods and shakes of her head. The lack of engagement left some of them visibly annoyed.

But you? You were the most intrigued.

You noticed how she kept making eye contact with you, her gaze lingering before darting away, like she was trying hard to maintain her composure but couldn’t quite manage. That amused smirk tugged at the corner of your lips—you were enjoying this little game of push and pull. It was the most excitement you’d felt in a while.

As the conversation drifted and your friends began goofing off, you leaned in across the table, your smirk never fading.

"We’re both sitting here, feeling..." You started, but before you could finish, Minji slumped down beside you, taking the empty seat next to yours. Her arm casually wrapped around your waist as she rested her head on your shoulder, her attention fixed on her phone.

Minji glanced across the table, noticing Haerin. She narrowed her eyes for a brief moment before offering a polite smile. "Hey, new girl," she said casually, before immediately returning her focus to her phone. She leaned in closer to show you something on the screen—a funny picture, judging by your stifled laugh.

Haerin, who had been unusually quiet, suddenly spoke up. Her voice was soft, but her words had an edge of determination. "Feeling what, Y/N?"

Her directness took everyone by surprise, their attention snapping back to her. It wasn’t the kind of tone anyone expected from her—especially not aimed at you.

You blinked, caught off guard, while Minji looked between the two of you, her confusion evident. Something unspoken was hanging in the air now, the tension palpable.

The silence that followed Haerin’s question was thick. You felt the eyes of your friends on you, waiting for your response, but it was Haerin’s unwavering gaze that held your attention.

You leaned back slightly, tilting your head as if to analyze her. That determination in her voice had caught you off guard. For a moment, you weren’t sure if she was challenging you or just curious, but either way, it made your heart race in a way you weren’t used to.

A slow grin spread across your lips. “Feeling curious,” you said smoothly, your eyes locked on hers. “About you.”

Your words hung in the air, and you could tell by the way Haerin’s posture stiffened that she hadn’t expected that response. The corner of her mouth twitched, as if she wasn’t sure how to react.

Before the tension could build further, Minji’s grip around your waist tightened slightly, her head still resting on your shoulder. “What are you two talking about?” she asked, her tone light but laced with something unspoken. Jealousy, perhaps?

You glanced at her briefly, your smirk fading just a little. “Nothing serious,” you replied casually, though you couldn’t shake the feeling that Minji’s sudden closeness wasn’t just random.

Minji gave Haerin a once-over before returning her focus to her phone, but the subtle shift in her demeanor wasn’t lost on you. Something was definitely off with her, but you couldn’t figure out what just yet.

Haerin, on the other hand, had composed herself. She lowered her gaze to her food, her expression unreadable, but there was a noticeable tension in her shoulders. Your curiosity deepened.

The cafeteria noise resumed, and your friends went back to fooling around, but your mind was elsewhere. Haerin had piqued your interest in a way you hadn’t expected, and Minji’s reaction only complicated things further.

As lunch neared its end, Haerin quietly gathered her tray. Without a word, she stood up and walked away, but not before glancing at you one last time. That look in her eyes—it wasn’t just shy anymore. There was something deeper, something that made you want to follow her.

But before you could act on that impulse, Minji’s voice cut through your thoughts.

“You’re not actually into her, are you?” she asked, her tone playful but with an edge of seriousness.

You raised an eyebrow at her, trying to read between the lines. “What makes you think that?”

Minji shrugged, still holding onto you tightly. “I don’t know. Just wondering.” She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

There it was again. That hint of jealousy. You could feel it creeping into her words, her body language. And for the first time, you began to wonder if Minji’s feelings for you ran deeper than friendship.

As the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch, you stood up and stretched, your mind racing with the possibilities. Haerin. Minji. The strange tension building between the three of you.

This was going to get interesting.

After lunch, you and Minji headed to your next class, but your mind was still caught between Haerin’s strange behavior and Minji’s lingering possessiveness. It wasn’t long before you noticed someone else watching you—Hyejin, the class president.

Hyejin was one of those girls who seemed perfect at everything: top of the class, captain of the debate team, and effortlessly cool in a way that didn’t scream for attention but still got it anyway. You’d never paid her much mind, but today she seemed particularly interested in your interaction with Haerin. Maybe a little too interested.

As you slid into your seat, Hyejin casually walked over and leaned against your desk. “So, what’s going on with the new girl?”

You raised an eyebrow, caught off guard by her sudden interest. “What do you mean?”

She gave you a sly smile. “Don’t play dumb, Y/N. Everyone saw her sitting at your table, looking like she wanted to say more than just ‘hi.’ The whole cafeteria was buzzing about it.”

“Is that so?” you replied, leaning back in your chair. “Didn’t know it was that big a deal.”

Hyejin shrugged, but the way her eyes sparkled with mischief told you she wasn’t buying your nonchalance. “You have a way of stirring things up, you know that? First Minji practically glued to your side, now the new girl with those doe eyes of hers. You might want to watch out.”

You smirked. “Sounds like I’ve got competition.”

Hyejin’s smile widened, but there was something sharper behind it. “Just a friendly warning. Some people don’t take well to sharing.”

Her words hung in the air for a second longer than necessary before she sauntered back to her seat, leaving you with a new thought: Hyejin wasn’t just warning you out of kindness. She was clearly up to something, and you had a feeling this wasn’t the last you’d hear from her.

As class dragged on, you noticed more students glancing in your direction, no doubt fueled by Hyejin’s not-so-subtle observations. The attention wasn’t new to you, but today it felt different. The vibe in the room had shifted. Even Minji, who was usually content to banter with you throughout class, seemed quieter than usual, stealing glances at Haerin whenever she thought you weren’t looking.

By the time the final bell rang, you were ready to escape the growing tension. But as you packed up your things, you spotted someone else lingering near the door—Jisoo, your partner from last semester’s science project.

Jisoo wasn’t part of your usual crowd, but the two of you had gotten along well enough while working together. She was quiet, more of an observer than a talker, but when she did speak, it was with a sharpness that caught people off guard. Today, though, she seemed different. Nervous.

“Hey, Y/N,” she said, her voice lower than usual. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure,” you said, slinging your bag over your shoulder. “What’s up?”

Jisoo hesitated, glancing around to make sure no one was listening. “It’s about Haerin.”

You blinked. “The new girl?”

She nodded, biting her lip. “I don’t know her personally, but... I’ve heard some things. Back at her old school, she didn’t exactly have the best reputation.”

You frowned, curiosity piqued. “What do you mean?”

Jisoo leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a whisper. “Let’s just say she’s not as innocent as she looks. There were rumors—about her messing with people’s heads, getting close to them and then... turning on them. I don’t know how much of it is true, but I thought you should know. Be careful around her.”

Before you could respond, Jisoo quickly walked away, leaving you standing there with more questions than answers.

Haerin, with her quiet demeanor and shy smiles, didn’t seem like the type to cause trouble. But then again, everyone has secrets.

As you walked out of the classroom, you caught sight of Haerin standing at the far end of the hallway, talking to one of the teachers. For a brief moment, her eyes met yours, and that familiar unease crept back into your chest.

What was her deal?

Just then, a pair of arms snaked around your waist from behind, pulling you into a familiar embrace. You didn't need to look to know who it was—Minji. She rested her chin on your shoulder, her warmth sending a sense of comfort through you. But today, it felt different. She was being unusually clingy, and you could sense a certain edge in her tone when she spoke.

“Karaoke later?” she asked, her voice teasing but with an undertone of something deeper. “Seonhwa and the others are coming.”

You hesitated. On one hand, you had cram school later—something you couldn’t afford to miss—but on the other, hanging out with your friends sounded like the perfect distraction from the swirling confusion in your mind. You weighed your options, feeling Minji’s arms tighten slightly around you, as if trying to pull you in more than just physically.

“I don’t know,” you replied, unsure. “I’ve got a lot to do today.”

Minji’s grip didn’t loosen. Instead, she let out a soft sigh, her voice dropping to a low, almost coaxing tone. “Come on, Y/N, we don’t get to do this every day. Just this once. Please?”

Her persistence was hard to resist, as usual. You glanced over your shoulder at her pouting expression, knowing full well she wasn’t going to let this go. With a sigh of your own, you finally gave in.

“Fine,” you muttered, “but only for a little while.”

Minji’s face lit up with a victorious smile, and before you could react, she grabbed your hand, intertwining her fingers with yours in a way that felt far more intimate than usual. The closeness was something you’d grown used to over time, but today, with the weight of Haerin’s earlier gaze still lingering in your mind, it felt...different. Almost like a silent competition was brewing between the two girls.

As Minji led you out of the classroom, your thoughts were disrupted when you passed by Haerin, who was still standing by the door. The brief exchange of glances between you felt electric, as though there was an unspoken connection pulling you towards her, even as Minji clung to your side.

But then, out of nowhere, you felt a gentle tug on your wrist. You turned around, surprised to see Haerin standing there, her fingers still wrapped lightly around your wrist. Her eyes met yours, and for a moment, time seemed to slow.

Minji stopped in her tracks, her eyes narrowing at Haerin in a way that wasn’t just curious—it was almost territorial. “Can we help you?” Minji asked, her voice laced with annoyance.

Haerin ignored her and looked straight at you, her unreadable expression softening into a quiet smile. “See you tomorrow?” she asked, her voice so gentle, it sent a shiver down your spine. The smile she gave you—small and shy—was strangely comforting, and for a second, you forgot that Minji was still standing next to you.

Caught off guard, you returned the smile, a genuine half-smile that felt like the most honest reaction you’d had all day. “Yeah,” you replied softly. “See you tomorrow.”

The tension between the three of you was palpable as Minji let out a loud sigh, pulling you closer to her, almost as if to stake her claim. “Alright, enough with the sweet goodbyes,” she grumbled, lacing her arm through yours once more. “We’re late.”

With that, Minji practically dragged you away, but your thoughts were left behind with Haerin—her smile, her touch, and the lingering feeling that something about her was different. As you caught up with the rest of your friends, your mind kept wandering back to Haerin, and you couldn't shake the feeling that this was only the beginning of something far more complicated than you anticipated.

The walk with Minji was filled with light chatter, but your thoughts kept drifting. Without thinking too much, you brought up the one question that had been nagging at you since lunch.

“So, what’s Haerin’s story? What happened at her old school before she transferred here?”

Minji paused, her steps slowing slightly. She seemed to consider it for a moment before offering a nonchalant shrug. “I don’t know all the details, but I’ve heard she’s bad news. Doesn’t seem like the friendly type.”

Her tone was casual, almost dismissive, but you couldn’t help noticing the subtle shift in her demeanor—the tension in her voice, the way she stiffened. It made you wonder if your question had struck a nerve. Was it curiosity or something else? A flicker of jealousy, maybe? Minji never liked to share your attention, but for now, she kept her emotions in check, hiding behind her usual playful facade.

You arrived at the karaoke room soon after, the air immediately filling with laughter and music. The atmosphere was lively, as always, your friends singing and goofing off without a care in the world. Minji, though, had a different energy tonight. Whenever it was her turn to sing, her eyes found yours, and every love song she chose seemed to carry a hidden message.

It was subtle at first, but soon, it became impossible to ignore—the way her gaze lingered on you, her voice softening as if speaking only to you. And while you didn’t want to jump to conclusions, the intensity behind her eyes was unmistakable. You smiled, trying to play it off like you hadn’t noticed, but deep down, you knew. There was something more to her actions tonight, something she wasn’t saying.

But you couldn’t let yourself think about it. Not now. Your friendship with Minji was important, too much to lose over misinterpreting her signals. So, you decided to stay neutral, acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

As the night went on, amidst the laughter and off-key singing, Seonhwa suddenly brought up a familiar name, one that immediately caught your attention.

“Haerin,” she said casually, as if dropping a bomb in the middle of the conversation.

Minji’s eyes narrowed at your reaction, but she said nothing, simply watching you closely.

“I think that new girl’s into you,” Seonhwa added, glancing at you with a mischievous smirk. The others murmured in agreement, some laughing, some nodding.

Your heart skipped a beat at her words, but you played it cool, forcing a laugh. “Really? I don’t think so.”

Seonhwa wasn’t about to let you off the hook that easily. “Oh, come on. You must’ve noticed something. Or... is it that you’re into her too?”

You chuckled again, shaking your head in disbelief. “Are you crazy? I barely know her. It’s nothing.”

“Hmm, sure.” Seonhwa’s tone was teasing, but there was an edge to it that made you uncomfortable. Before she could push further, someone else chimed in.

“She’s weird, though. Off, you know? Definitely not your type.”

The conversation shifted again, as Seonhwa quickly moved on to another topic, but you were left with your thoughts. You stared down at your grape juice, swirling it absentmindedly.

Why did you care so much? You’d only just met Haerin, yet she was all you could think about. It was unlike you. The magnetic pull you felt towards her—this unfamiliar curiosity—was something new, something that unsettled you in a way you couldn’t quite explain. It was as if you've just discovered a part of you that you, yourself didn't even know existed.

And yet, for the first time, you found yourself wanting to know more.

The morning sun filtered through the classroom windows as you settled into your seat. The usual buzz of students preparing for the day filled the room, but your thoughts were still wrapped around the previous night’s karaoke session. Haerin’s name, her curious eyes, and that inexplicable pull you felt towards her were on your mind.

As the day went on, you found yourself scanning the hallway for Haerin. The moments between classes felt longer than usual, and you were increasingly aware of how much you wanted to get to know her better.

Your chance came during lunch. As you walked into the cafeteria, you spotted Haerin sitting alone at a corner table, her lunch untouched as she flipped through a book. You hesitated for a moment, then made your way over.

“Hey, Haerin,” you greeted, sliding into the seat across from her. “Mind if I join you?”

She looked up, her eyes meeting yours with a soft, shy smile. “Of course. I was actually hoping you would.”

The conversation started off slow but gradually picked up. You learned that Haerin had a love for literature and was passionate about art, which was something you could relate to. You found her company surprisingly calming, and her quiet nature seemed to draw out a side of you that you rarely showed to others.

Days turned into weeks, and your friendship with Haerin grew. You’d meet up between classes, share stories, and support each other. You noticed Haerin’s subtle gestures of encouragement, especially when she caught on to your quieter moments and offered a listening ear.

During one of your conversations, Haerin brought up a topic that made you pause.

“You know,” she began, her voice gentle, “I’ve noticed that you seem to carry a lot with you. If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here.”

Her words hit you harder than you expected. The trauma from your childhood—seeing your father with another woman, the betrayal, the pain—it was something you never really spoke about. But with Haerin’s sincerity, the walls you had built around those memories began to crack.

“I appreciate that, Haerin,” you said, looking down at your hands. “It’s just… hard to trust people, especially men.”

Haerin nodded, her expression one of understanding. “It’s okay to take your time. I’m here for you, no matter what.”

As the weeks passed, you found yourself opening up more to Haerin, sharing bits and pieces of your past. She listened without judgment, offering support that slowly began to heal old wounds. The bond between you grew stronger, but the romance wasn’t rushed. It was more like a gentle breeze, gradually building up over time.

Meanwhile, Minji’s presence remained a constant in your life. She continued to be clingy, but her actions were becoming more noticeable. She would often interrupt conversations with Haerin, subtly trying to draw you back into her orbit. Minji’s jealousy simmered beneath the surface, and you could sense it in the way she would look at you and Haerin.

One afternoon, after a particularly intense discussion about your past with Haerin, you noticed Minji waiting outside the classroom, arms crossed and a frown on her face. As you approached, Minji's gaze shifted between you and Haerin.

“So, you two are getting close, huh?” she said, her voice laced with a hint of bitterness.

You felt a pang of guilt but tried to stay calm. “Uh.. Yeah,"

Minji’s eyes narrowed, but she said nothing more. Instead, she pulled you aside, her voice dropping to a softer, more vulnerable tone. “I just don’t want to lose you. It feels like you’re drifting away.”

Her confession hit you harder than you expected. You had always valued your friendship with Minji, and the thought of losing her was unsettling. But at the same time, you couldn’t ignore the connection you were building with Haerin.

You took a deep breath and looked at Minji, trying to find the right words. “I’m not going anywhere. But things are changing, and I need to figure them out. I hope you understand.”

Minji’s expression softened, and she gave a small nod, though her eyes still held a trace of sadness. “Okay. I get it.”

As you walked back to Haerin, you couldn’t shake the feeling that things were becoming more complicated. Yet, with Haerin by your side and Minji’s support, you felt more grounded than you had in a long time.

The journey wasn’t over, and there were still challenges ahead, but you were ready to face them, one step at a time.

In the days that followed, rumors about Haerin started spreading through the school. Students whispered about her past—how she was rumored to have bullied others and earned the nickname ‘liar and snake’ at her old school. The gossip seemed to grow darker with each passing day, and it wasn’t long before you heard it too.

Seonhwa was chatting about the rumors in the cafeteria, and you felt a pang of worry for Haerin. Without thinking, you rushed out to find her, but she was nowhere in sight.

Days turned into weeks, and Haerin still didn’t come to school. You became increasingly concerned, and then, things took a turn for the worse. Your own secrets were exposed.

When you walked into the cafeteria one day, the scene was chaotic. Papers were scattered all over—on the floor, tables, and even the walls. Each paper had your face and personal secrets printed on it. You froze when you saw a paper that said, “father cheated trauma freak,” with your picture on it.

Haerin was the only one you had ever shared that secret with. The betrayal was too much to bear.

As you stood there, feeling a mix of shock and sadness, Minji came over and patted your back. “Hey, it’s going to be okay,” she said, trying to comfort you. But the pain of the betrayal was overwhelming.

You grabbed some of the papers and crumpled them in your hands, your eyes filling with tears. The cafeteria, usually a lively place, now felt cold and hostile. You couldn’t see the faces of your classmates—they were all a blur as the tears flowed.

Minji noticed how upset you were and tried to offer more comfort. “Y/N, we’ll figure this out. I’m here for you,” she said, her voice filled with concern. But her words barely reached you through the fog of your emotions.

“Why would Haerin do this?” you wondered aloud, your voice trembling. “I trusted her.”

Minji looked at you with sympathy. “I don’t know. But we need to find out what happened.”

You nodded, feeling a mix of frustration and determination. The betrayal was deep, and the exposure of your secrets was painful, but you knew you had to confront the situation. The first step was to find Haerin and get some answers.

Weeks had passed since the papers were scattered around the cafeteria. You were still dealing with the aftermath, feeling lost and overwhelmed. Minji remained by your side, offering support and comfort through your darkest moments. Her presence was a constant source of solace, and gradually, you started to notice a shift in your feelings toward her.

One evening, as you sat together, you found the courage to express how much Minji meant to you. “Minji, I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” you began, your voice steady despite the butterflies in your stomach. “You’ve been amazing through all of this, and I realize that I want to be more than just friends.”

Minji’s eyes widened in surprise, her face lighting up with joy. “Really? You mean it?” she asked, her voice full of excitement.

You nodded, smiling. “Yes. I want us to be together.”

The two of you started dating, and though you were happy with Minji, there was a lingering emptiness. It felt as though something important was missing from your life—a puzzle piece that had yet to be found. You continued with your daily routine as if Haerin had never been part of your life. Yet, the absence of her explanation gnawed at you, leaving you unsettled.

As the days went by, Minji and you grew closer in your relationship, but you couldn’t shake off the feeling that you needed closure with Haerin. The thoughts of her and the unanswered questions about the rumors lingered in your mind.

One day, while walking through a park, you unexpectedly ran into Haerin. She looked just as surprised to see you. “Y/N,” she said hesitantly, her gaze filled with uncertainty. “I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

“Haerin,” you said, your heart pounding. “I need to talk to you. I’ve been feeling like I need to understand what really happened.”

Haerin looked up, her eyes filled with a mix of sadness and relief. "... I’m glad you came,” she said softly. “I’ve been avoiding school because I didn’t want to deal with the rumors. They were so painful, and I wanted to stay away from the drama.”

You sat down beside her, listening intently. “I need to believe you, Haerin. The rumors were brutal, and my own secrets were exposed. I can’t understand why someone would do that, especially when I trusted you.”

For a moment, Haerin's eyes widened in surprise, as if she wasn't expecting hearing that your secrets have been exposed. She had no clue, but would you believe her? "W- what...?" she stammered, still in disbelief. But you only stared at her for a brief moment, taking a deep breath to steady the moment.

Haerin’s eyes filled with tears as she continued. “I swear, I didn’t spread those rumors. I don’t know who did, but it wasn't me. I'm as shocked as you when I heard about it. I think someone must have used my name to spread lies. I never meant to hurt you.”

The sincerity in Haerin’s voice gave you pause. You wanted to believe her, but doubts lingered. As you processed her words, another thought crossed your mind: Minji. She knew about your secret, and it seemed too coincidental for her not to be involved.

You listened intently, trying to make sense of her words. Doubt still lingered in your mind, but the thought: Minji had known your secret for a long time. Why would she betray you now?

With a heavy heart, you decided to confront Minji. You arranged to meet her at a quiet café, the tension palpable between you.

“Minji,” you began, struggling to keep your voice steady, “I need to ask you something. Did you have anything to do with the rumors about me and Haerin?”

Minji’s face went pale. She looked down, her hands fidgeting with her cup. It was a brief moment of silence before she spilled everything about what happened—far from what you've expected.

“Y/N, I... I did it,” she admitted quietly, her voice breaking. “I was jealous. I couldn’t stand the thought of you being interested in someone else. I thought that if I could push Haerin away, you’d focus on me.”

The pain of Minji’s confession hit hard. The betrayal felt like a sharp wound. “Why, Minji? Why would you do this? You knew how much this secret meant to me.”

The reason you never talked about your past with just anyone was because you, yourself were insecure of not having the father to lead you like others. And with that being exposed with the reason of this... It was too much.

Minji’s eyes watered with tears. “I’m sorry. I let my jealousy get the best of me. I didn’t think about how much it would hurt you.” As she explained, how Seonhwa was also behind every rumour she made about Haerin and set her up, it was too much.

The revelation was devastating. You realized that the person you had trusted most had betrayed you out of jealousy. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but you knew you had to make a decision.

“I can’t be with you anymore, Minji,” you said, trying to keep your voice firm despite the sadness. “I need to focus on healing and understanding what’s right for me.”

Minji’s tears flowed freely, but you stood up, feeling a mix of sadness and relief. You needed to rebuild your life and find closure with Haerin.

After ending things with Minji, you reached out to Haerin once more. You both started to reconnect, and although it wasn’t easy, you began to rebuild trust. You spent time together, getting to know each other better and working through the past hurts.

Slowly but surely, your bond with Haerin grew stronger. The feelings of emptiness started to fade, replaced by a sense of understanding and companionship. The missing piece of your life began to fall into place, and with patience and openness, you found a new sense of peace and hope for the future.

After everything, rebuilding your relationship with Haerin was slow and delicate, but it felt right. You spent more time together, learning about each other, laughing at the little things, and healing from the wounds left behind by the rumors and betrayal. Each moment with her made you feel like a missing piece of your heart had finally been found.

"So, can you tell me what really happened in your old school?" You asked, taking a sip on your favorite beverage.

Haerin thought for a moment, then nodded. "Well, my mom had to work near here so she decided to transfer me on one of the schools," she explained and you nodded, still slightly surprised that her story was far from the rumours you've heard. "Seonhwa... She was my friend before, but things between us didn't end really well, so maybe she spread those rumours about me absentmindedly,"

She noticed that look on your face, making her giggle—a soft laugh that was infectious. It made you smile, "What? Why are you laughing?" You questioned, although the smile remained on your face.

"Nothing," she replied, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, making you feel utterly speechless. Your stomach soon felt as if there were butterflies in it while you felt your face heat up—an emotion you didn't quite normally get. It was as if every time you were with Haerin, you keep discovering a new version of you that would have never thought would even exist.

There were times you and Haerin bumped into Minji in the halls. It was unavoidable at school. Each time, you'd catch her staring from afar, her eyes full of sadness and regret. You couldn’t ignore the heaviness of it all, but you knew in your heart that you had made the right decision. The awkwardness was there, but it didn’t consume you anymore. You had moved on, and slowly, Minji seemed to realize that too.

One day, as you and Haerin walked home from school, a gentle silence fell between you. It wasn’t uncomfortable. If anything, it was calming, the kind of silence that comes with being at ease in someone else’s presence. You thought about everything you had been through together, from the initial distrust, the rumors, to now—this peaceful, growing friendship. It wasn’t perfect, but it was real.

As you reached the park, you both sat down on a bench, watching the leaves rustle in the soft breeze. Haerin spoke first, her voice soft but sure.

“I’m glad we’ve come this far. I didn’t think we’d be able to, especially after what happened,” she admitted, glancing at you with a small smile.

You nodded, your heart swelling with emotions you couldn’t quite express. It was rare for you to feel this way—this close to someone again. And yet, something deeper lingered. A warmth that had been growing steadily within you.

Suddenly, without thinking, you blurted, “I like you, Haerin. I mean, really like you.”

Your confession hung in the air, a rare moment of vulnerability for you. It wasn’t like you to be the one to confess first, but this time, it felt different—like the right thing to do. Your heart pounded in your chest, but there was a strange relief in finally saying what had been on your mind for weeks.

Haerin blinked in surprise, clearly not expecting you to be the one to confess. A slow, wide smile spread across her face, and she let out a soft laugh. “You really beat me to it,” she said, shaking her head. “I’ve been wanting to say that too, but I didn’t know how.”

You both chuckled at the awkwardness of the moment, but it only made the confession feel more real, more honest. Haerin reached over and gently took your hand, her thumb brushing over your knuckles in a soothing motion.

“I like you too, Y/N. More than I’ve liked anyone,” she whispered, her voice sincere.

For the first time in a long time, everything felt like it was falling into place. The weight of your past traumas, the scars from Minji’s betrayal, and the confusion of your feelings all seemed to fade in that moment. Sitting there, with Haerin’s hand in yours, you felt whole.

As the days passed, you and Haerin continued to grow closer. It wasn’t always easy, and sometimes the shadows of the past crept up on you, but together, you found a way to move forward. There was laughter—plenty of it—small moments of joy in the chaos of school life, and the undeniable feeling of falling for someone who understood you in ways no one else had.

And while Minji still lingered in the background, her presence no longer held the weight it once did. You couldn’t completely avoid her, but the distance between you both had become bearable. Over time, even she seemed to find a way to move on, though the sting of betrayal would remain with you both for a long time.

In the end, you found something rare—something that went beyond just healing from the past. You found someone who made you feel like yourself again. With Haerin by your side, life was far from perfect, but it was yours, and for the first time, it felt like it was truly beginning.

And now, sitting on a bench with Haerin, giggling at teasing at each other, you felt content and mostly... You felt love. With all problems fading away, while Haerin had that small, shy smile—which made you reminisce on the first day you saw her. Maybe even then, you were already in love with her as it is, you just never found it out yourself until now.

As Haerin held your hand, staring at your eyes like the both of you did back on day one, you couldn't help but lean close to her, cupping her cheek with your other hand while the other was busy holding hers, intertwining fingers with one another.

She leaned into your touch and before you knew it, your face were inches away from hers. "Can I?" You asked, and with a split second-pause, Haerin nodded, her breath hitched upon finally touching your lips.

The kiss wasn't rushed at all—if anything, it was deliberate, passionate, and most importantly... It tasted like love.

a/n: okay, maybe i focused too much on readers pov. well, that's all, luvvies. did you like it? hehe. please like, reblog or follow! love y'all and stay safe. mwaapsss. 💋 xoxo

[changbinsboobs]

Can you please do Stray kids, what physical traits they look for and how would they act around they crush 👀please and thank you if you have done it

Hi:) i just posted a reading on physical traits💗

I also have a reading on skz on how they are when they have a crush but its more focused on their internal state of being, so I'm gonna do a separate one on their specific, outwards behavior towards their crush specifically! Enjoy💗

I'll be using the 3rd Eye Tarot and remember :

*This reading is for entertainment purposes only!

How would stray kids behave around their crush?

Chan - The High Priestess, Page of Cups

He mimics his crush a lot. Like not in a mean way or intentional. Yk this psychology fact that we unintentionally mimic our crushes or people we like/admire, cuz we want them to like us too. I think he's doing that A LOT unconsciously but for the person on the other side i think its pretty obvious, pretty quickly😂

I also think that he would try and change himself a bit. Like his appearance or his likes and dislikes - according to his crush. I think it would be unconscious tho. Not like he thinks "oh she likes guys with blue hair so im gonna dye my hair blue". Its more like his crushes opinion just influences him a lot. Other than that im not seeing much i think he just matches his crushes energy and i wanna say pace too, but im unsure. So just leave it at he matches his crush😂 and he kinda copys them. Whatever his crushes behaviour is to him, that would be his behaviour to them.

Lee Know - Ace of Wands, 6 of Cups

He's normal and nurturing. I don't think his crush would think he's flirting with them, they would just think that he's really kind and helpful and has a big heart to give love and care from. So his approach isn't very demanding(?). Like whatever he does for his crush, u can feel he doesn't do it cuz he expects something in return, but because he genuinely likes them and wants them to be good.

I also see him making some advances but like...ugh idk, like his crush can't really tell if its flirting or if he's just a touchy person or if his humor's just a little perverted. Like what im seeing is a few perverted comments and an evil smile or something😂 and i think his crush would be a bit confused at that but not really take it as a sign of flirting or interest towards them. (Btw the 6 of Cups has already come a few times in his readings! He's definitely a very nurturing person!!!)

Changbin - 9 of Pentacles, 8 of Swords, Queen of Cups

Changbin of course had the most cards😂 he had so many cards (7 in total) im too lazy to write them all up there, so im just gonna write the 3 most significant ones. Also this is something i notice a lot with his readings he almost always has the most cards cuz i keep feeling theres more he wants to say, and that he's not done yet, so i keep drawing more and more. Then when i look at them i have 9 cards and 3 if them say thing A, 3 say thing B and 3 say thing C😂 like...my guy you could've just let me say all that in 3 cards m, why'd u make me work so much😂 i feel like its very important to him to describe the details and to explain everything the best way he can so that he does not get misunderstood. And details for him are very meaningful and actually very big, so he pays lots of attention to that and finds it important and wants it to be clear to the readers as well (or whoever's listening)

Sooo he tries to put himself in a good light. Like put his macho on, his gentlemanness, act nonchalant and poised(?), flex his wealthyness a little😂 (i love reading this😂💗)

But at the same time i see him being plagued by his thoughts an fears (literary the same cards as the previous crush reading came on) and thus why i feel like he would be giving mixed signals. Like being awkward one second, avoiding his crush, going out of their way, barely responding, barely having eye contact. To being stern and cold, acting almost as he doesn't like them or is angry at them or something. To being so genuinely kind and welcoming and i see even going for some slight, friendly skinship. To being boastful and slightly flirty again😂 its a rollercoaster i think every time his crush would be getting a different changbin. And maybe not even on different occasions. Maybe they can get 3 different version in one day alone.😂 poor girl.

I also see him having a hot-cold streak in his verbal communication too. Like one minute he's mimicking them (like chan), the other he's jokingly mocking them, annoying them, trying to get them a bit agitated and triggered even😂 he wants to get a reaction out of her. (God i think next time ill leave changbin's reading for last, every time im doing him i get so exhausted and i hope im already at the end of the reading (the whole post), but im not even halfway cuz he's so far up🥲. Now i did him first cuz he had so much cards, and now i wann cry cuz i have ti do 7 more guys🥲)

Hyunjin - Temperance, 10 of Wands

I think he's pretty calm around his crush. Tbh i don't see him making any impression of that kind. I think his mind is way too preoccupied to actually do something.

He might seem clumsy. Stutter, make weird sentences, have s bit if weird facial expressions. All of that is i feel whenever he gets into close contact with his crush. If u look at him from afar he's calm and collected and cool and poised. But if you come up close and actually converse with him he would be rally awkward.

Han - 5 of Pentacles, Wheel of Fortune

Ughh...a bit of a looser i fear. Like he's behavior would be very off putting. Like those pick me guys😭 ugh im getting such an ick.

He would be mostly like that, but every once in a while would have a moment where he shines and suddenly gets a boost of confidence and just is being himself and them he does so so well. Rally well! But that doesn't last long sadly and he becomes a pick me shortly after once again.🥲

Felix - 7 of Cups, King of Cups

Proactive. Isn't afraid to approach them. Just shamelessly goes up there and gives them a compliment, makes small talk, ask for a number or a date or whatever. I would say he's pretty smooth but he actually isnt😅 but it doesn't really matter cuz even if his approach isn't smooth, his energy is, and lots of people perceive only that. His overwhelming energy of confidence.

He might think a lot of them and give them small random gifts he thinks they will like, or that reminded him of him. Each time he gets the opportunity to be close to them again and talk to them.

Seungmin - The Emperor, Queen if Pentacles

Very helpful, very initiative, very supportive. He immediately shows how reliable he is. He proves his seriousness and that he's not in it just for the game but for a purpose.

Very stable and straight forward with his feelings and intentions.

Shows patience and doesn't pressure his crush all too much. Just leaves them in peace to warm up to him, while continuously showing up and being there. Reminding her of his high quality and value.

I.N - 3 of Wands, 4 of Pentacles

Straight forward with his feelings and pursuing. I think he's someone that as soon as he realizes he has a crush he goes over there to confess😂 brave guy that one!

He's very possessive of his crush even if they aren't together yet snd i think he would often show that in some ways, like wanting to walk beside her, wanting to take care of her, to answer her questions, to buy her food or other stuff. He doesn't want her to do those stuff by herself or even worse to ask other men about it. Or even allow other men to do that for her. Who are they to allow themselves that😂 only he can take care of her!!!😤😂

[inamagicalhallucination]

junichiro: kunikida-san's been working so hard lately

atsushi: yeah.. im really worried, he looks stressed

yosano: that's our kunikida! maybe i should drag him in for a check up

kyouka: that might stress him out more

dazai: he's not even noticing us not working and whispering about him

atsushi: dazai-san please don't use this as an excuse to prank him >:(

dazai: why i'd neve-

kenji: maybe we should do something for him!! let's take him out to eat!!

kyouka: that's a good idea. when i'm stressed, atsushi makes me eat.

junichiro: that might work!! we can show him how much we respect him too

ranpo: thats considering that he'll stop working long enough to eat

atsushi: ahh its never gonna work

dazai: maybe we can make him laugh :)

atsushi: no pranking dazai-san >:(

dazai: hey-

yosano: dazai may be on to something. we can make him laugh - if we catch him off guard then in the few seconds i can convince him to get a check up-

junichiro: umm maybe no check ups-

yosano: oh~ do you want one~

junichiro, paling:

ranpo: none of u are funny

atsushi, remembering when he told ranpo dazai's shrimp joke and ranpo didn't laugh but corrected him: i-i don't think i'll be up for telling a joke

kyouka: i've been learning about jokes. they're a good skill to have

kenji: oh!! that's so smart!! what kind of jokes do u know??

kyouka: what do you call a fish wearing a bowtie

kenji: i don't know!! what??

kyouka: sofishticated

kenji, laughing: i don't get it!!

junichiro: anyway

junichiro: we don't have to tell him a joke point blank - we just have to make him laugh

dazai: maybe we can tickle him

ranpo: ew

kyouka: i think jokes are still the way.

yosano:

kenji: maybe if we take him somewhere fun he'll laugh with joy!!

atsushi: we can show him my collection of mafia dazai pictures? they make me laugh

dazai: how the fuck do you have-

yosano: -maybe some physical humor over jokes-

(dazai: -my pictures; where did you even get-)

junichiro: that sounds terrifying coming from you

(atsushi: ive been collecting them i just said

dazai: why??? no just give them to me

atsushi: what :O no way!! i like them)

*in the background*

fukuzawa coming into the office and going to kunikida

kunikida: *working*

fukuzawa: kunikida

kunikida: president? when did you get here

fukuzawa: just now

kunikida: is something wrong sir? should i call-

fukuzawa: look at this video

fukuzawa: *shows him cat video*

kunikida:

kunikida, chuckling: oh that's- um why are you showing me this

fukuzawa: i have my reasons.

[eldritch-spouse]

It’s December, so mistletoe - who in the tce would actually kiss us if we hold some over our head? 

Is it possible for Krulu and Nebul to at least give us a peck on the forehead maybe 🥺

Most!

Morell rolls his eyes at your corny shenanigans but gives you whatever little peck you want and ruffles your hair.

Gallon actually kind of wants to see you get cheeky with your mistletoe placement, seeing as it's usually him who comes up with inconspicuous places to trap you under one. You get as many kisses as you want if you manage to trick him.

Vinnel is also very happy to see you trying to trick him, although he's a lot less likely to accept genuine kisses. You can peck his mask, he'll even make a little face for you. In days he feels a lot safer about his consistency, he'll give you a gross sloppy lap to the face and cackle at your discomfort before putting his mask back on.

Santi is practically begging to be trapped under a mistletoe. Please trap him. You're going to get the sloppiest, nastiest makeouts and he s going to grope you all over, maybe grind you on him. You might want to not trick Santi so much, for your own good. He will try to put a mistletoe over his dick.

Grimbly pretends to fall for most of your attempts. Oops, you got hiiiim, now lean down so he can peck you. He's soooo ditzy, oh he stumbled under another one, nooo way! You're spoiling him with so much affection he's vibrating.

Belo cannot kiss you, but he humors the harmless little game, even if he doesn't truly understand the meaning behind it. You can kiss him and he'll nuzzle against you or make a pleased coo. It's... Not a bad lesser tradition, he can get used to it.

Patches is easy to fool purely because he's distracted, Stitches not so much. Although, you have to get creative, because after giving you your kiss, Patches will burn the mistletoe with undead fire, forcing you to pick your moments very well.

Nebul can't kiss you. You know this, right? He's staring at you as if something is a bit off with your faculties. Feel free to kiss the back of his hand or, if he's feeling generous, other parts of him...

Sybastian actually might try to eat it first. Then his brain clicks on and he realizes what's in his mouth, mleming it back out before he can get a very not fun gastrointestinal episode. He's legitimately kind of clumsy about it, you'll catch him many times, and get a sloppy lap up the chest and face as a reward.

Fank-e is well aware of every mistletoe and he will gladly trap himself. Although he takes it as an extremely competitive game and outdoes you by a longshot. He can't even kiss properly, but he's keeping a score and you're getting absolutely rekt. Skill issue, now give him a kiss.

Krulu blinks at you. The festivities must be getting to your brain if you believe he's not aware of every single mistletoe you placed around. Do stop sulking, this is ridiculous. Although he's not too fond of the gesture overall, you get one kiss on the mouth at the end of the day, a consolation prize. That's not to say you don't get more attention of different sorts before said kiss.

[badaziraphaletakes]

can you please stop? screenshotting someone else’s post is extremely rude and only makes the fandom a worse place. talk about a bad take you saw, describe how it’s harmful, and vague all you want, but don’t screenshot. i agree that most of these takes are awful but that’s no excuse to do this to people. either confront the person who’s take you don’t like or make your own post. stop screenshotting, please.

Either confront the person who’s take you don’t like or make your own post.

The assumption that I didn’t try that is where you went wrong. I (mod X) started this blog only after I tried many, many times to confront people about their offensive takes directly and it didn’t work. I was subjected to appalling harassment and even bigotry. That’s what happens when you try to engage with someone who’s being offensive.

I had been throwing the idea around for weeks and what finally decided me on starting it was that I found out that I wasn't alone. That the anti-Autistic bias and the ableism and the transphobia and the victim-blaming and the misogyny (and on and on and on) that we kept seeing and being subjected to was ruining our enjoyment of this show. This was bigger than just me.

FTR, most of the takes that are submitted to us (note that I'll be switching between "I" and "we" in this reply depending on the context) don’t have a handle attached to them, but of the few that do include a handle, 99% of the time I have recognized it as someone who I have seen being so bigoted that there was no possible way I could engage with them. We don't confront people directly partly because we don't want to direct people who disagree back to the OP's blog, and partly to keep the mods safe.

You say “do this to people” like this blog is committing some kind of outrage, which is absurd. We are, at worst, being slightly rude (which I think is justified considering sarcasm and humor are one of the only weapons we have to fight back against hate), whereas most of the posts we comment on are outright hateful. They’re the ones “doing this to people”.

We are being far more considerate of the writers’ feelings and their dignity than they ever were of other people’s in the fandom. The takes are not just ‘awful’ (although, that too haha); they are actively harming vulnerable members of the fandom, and, more concerningly, are spreading messages that will poison our views on how we should treat Autistic people, ab*se survivors, and the like in broader society. Quite frankly, the people who are spouting the kind of anti-Autistic/ableist/victim-blaming/otherwise bigoted crap that forms the bulk of the content we feature here deserve to have their posts screenshotted. People who say things like that do not deserve to be handled with kid gloves in response.

(Also I don’t have time to re-type and slightly paraphrase every bad take I see. And if I did, people would throw out “no one is really saying this”. And even if it weren’t for that, I don’t think it’s reasonable or appropriate to expect me to use my time that way.)

Incidentally, nothing is stopping people from messaging/asking us or commenting if they recognize a post as their own, but only one person has ever done that, asking if a post was theirs. I replied that it was, leaving the ball in their court. So far we haven’t heard back from them about the matter, which is fine. But I digress.

As for this blog making the fandom a worse place - even though it’s only a few weeks old, I’ve had an average of two new people a day, every day, tell me how grateful they are I created it and how it makes them feel safe and how it’s the only reason they haven’t left the fandom. I’ve even had multiple people say “I was going to leave the fandom because of that specific post and then your blog called it out and I felt like I wasn’t alone”. So yeah, I'd say screenshotting is important here.

There is a subset of the fandom - many of us Autistic, Disabled, ab*se survivors, GNC, trans, and/or otherwise oppressed - who have been made to feel EXTRAORDINARILY unsafe by the Aziraphale hate (which far, far too often is thinly-veiled hate for some of the aforementioned groups of people) and the truly scary way people double down when we push back against it. So I don’t care if people are annoyed by my sharing a screenshot of their post. Not when this blog has become a safe space for so many people who otherwise would have had Good Omens ruined for them by the bigotry and general hatefulness we keep seeing.

LSS I will not stop building this tiny lil corner of the internet that is the only part of the fandom where many of us feel safe.

I actually made a post addressing almost this exact thing a couple weeks ago; if I can find it, I’ll add it here in a rb.

[spidey-555]

Things I hope the devs of CotL don't do, but a part of me feels like they'll do anyways (or might already be doing):

Revive Ratau if we chose to sacrifice him. Like I said on a previous post, it would invalidate the weight of our decision, and would open the floodgates of "can we undo other heinous actions we do?" If yes, then why should we care about the events of the game if they can all just be undone?

Make the bishops so unlikable and unsympathetic to the point where the audience ceases to care about them. I know they already aren't the most likable characters due to their abrasive personalities (excluding Shamura), but people still find them tragic, so taking away that would just be the nail in the coffin. Unfortunately, this one already seems to be happening, if the description for the graphic novel is anything to go by.

Make Narinder seem like the good guy or otherwise have the story take a side in the whole "sealing of the one who waits" debacle. This kind of ties in when the previous bullet point (especially with the "already happening in the graphic novel" thing), but if they did this, it would feel like they're just pandering to the Narilamb fans by having the story bend over backwards for it.

Have the Lamb be this flawless, unstoppable, and perfect being who everyone (except bad people) loves and will never lose ever. This one is kind of self explanatory. If the devs decide to go this route, then I feel many people would cease caring about the conflicts if this game. After all, if the Lamb can't lose ever, then what's the point of caring about any the conflicts in this game of the Lamb? I will admit that this one is more of a "me" thing than anything else

Cure the bishops of their disabilities. Heal the injuries, sure, but not the disabilities, please. In my opinion, it would be very ableist to do this, as it would imply that the only way for the bishops to be truly happy is them being cured of their disabilities.

Have there be a "canon" interpretation of the Lamb. At the end of the day, the Lamb is a player-insert character, and the fun about those characters is that they can essentially be anyone and can have many interpretations. Making a "canon" Lamb would take away the fun of those characters. This ties into the other Lamb related bullet point somewhat.

Have the Fox and Midas become followers once we beat them. This is assuming we fight them at all, of course. This one is also very opinionated. I feel like getting them as a follower would be bad because it would A) imply they have a chance at redemption and personally I like the fact that we have at least 2 villains we can just hate (here's hoping to more!) B) let us treat them however we want, which means they could not get the punishment they deserve. And before someone says that you can do the same with the bishops (the whole "not getting the punishment they deserve" thing), they already suffered in purgatory, which counts as punishment imo.

Rely too much on toilet and "naked people are funny" humor. This one is another opinionated one. Personally, I'd prefer if we got more character-based humor (hell, maybe some surreal humor as well) than humor that only a child would laugh at. I do want to post this one on the suggestions channel, but I'm afraid of the backlash.

I'll probably add more onto this when it comes to mind

[incorrectbatfam]

Can Bruce read his gremlins a bedtime story?

Once upon a time—

Ugh, no. Go back and try again.

Jason, let the man read.

Not when it sounds like that. It's Sleeping Beauty. A fucking five-year-old can do it.

Alright, starting over. Once upon a time, there lived a princess in a castle.

Where else would she live?

I get what you're saying. Where was I? Right. When she was born—

Can we go back for a second? What kind of castle are we talking about?

Not again.

A good story has detail, Cass. Now give me the layout. Is it more mid-century or a little earlier? What fortifications do they have? Do the floor plans allow for guards to covertly sneak around? Are they prioritizing enemy intimidation or civilian—

Mid-to-late-century, reinforced walls with hidden cannons and watchtowers, they have underground tunnels, and civilian trust because their only enemy is Maleficent. As I was saying—

What's their contingency plan?

Tim!

The story is the contingency plan, you wet sack of hamburger meat.

Wow, spoiler alert.

Someone called?

I thought you went home?

And miss this trainwreck? As if. Too bad Tumblr doesn't have more colors because Duke would love this.

Huh?

It's a fourth wall thing. Don't worry, I've been working on my impression of him.

Let's see it.

Please don't.

"My name is Duke. I cry at Lord of the Rings."

In his defense, Frodo and Sam have a beautiful friendship.

Back to the story. When she was born, her parents threw a grand jubilee where all the kingdom and its fairies was invited. The fairies all arrived with presents—

You think they would have a baby shower before the baby is born, right? What, the first few days they're just going without diapers?

This was the Middle Ages. They believed in leeching the humors out for a common cold.

Also, you can throw showers after the kid arrives. Our own dad did it.

At least you weren't the guinea pig. Try explaining to a bunch of important rich people who brought gifts that actually, there is no baby, it's me and I don't need diapers or footie pajamas.

Says the guy wearing a Kid Flash onesie.

Says the one in a Superboy shirt and conspiracy theory pants. Pick a side.

I have two hands and I'm not ashamed.

Okay, there's a lot to unpack there—

Jason married Roy!

What?!?

It's for tax benefits. Not all of us can own a multi-billion-dollar corporation.

Your name's on the will.

Yeah but I'm never gonna get it 'cause Bruce isn't gonna die long enough for me to use it.

What do you mean?

He's talking about the retcons. You should ask Duke, he can see into other dimensions.

Ooh.

Ahem, I believe Father was telling us a story. I speed-read it so I know they all die at the end, but I'd like to hear your delivery.

Damian, you're reading this morning's obituaries.

Same thing.

Truelove'skissbrokethespellandtheylivedhappilyeveraftertheend. Terrible job everyone, now lights out.

[sgiandubh]

On leadership

This is a personal comment on @luhafraser's last post, where she wrote, in plain English:

'But I can't help but notice that since I joined this fandom, what we have in all the groups in this fandom are "leaders", they come and go, new ones appear, or reinvent themselves. There are people that stand out and lead others to follow their ideas and statements. It is these people that receive information, have sources, receive pics, and are fed by "anonymous" (Sorry, but a lot of things that have already appeared could only have come from someone "inside"). I know we are all adults, but there are those who know how to influence or who are led to be influencers, there are those who understand that and there are those who don't.'

Dear @luhafraser,

You wrote a couple of things with great confidence, as you usually do, and I feel I have to say something,

I have invited you already to name names, not allude to persons in your posts, as you so transparently seem to be doing right now. So yes, I felt looked upon and judged. By you (and not only you). Since Day 1. You thought I was never going to respond, well - you were wrong. The day has come and the day is now.

Dear @luhafraser, while I do immensely appreciate your real qualities (intelligence, humor, sleuthing, etc.), I am less a fan of this kind of little games, both in public and behind the scenes. My sudden apparition seems to have bothered you, with Anons asking you (June 20, 2023) if I was really a new person joining in and you denying it without taking the time to talk to me:

This is simply not done, my dear. I have openly and transparently engaged with people since Day 1 and never lied about my own circumstances. Your answer started a flurry of speculation that kept people interested all summer long and forced me to dox myself. So kindly prove me and all the others I am not a newbie (something completely impossible to do), do it in public and own the things you post in here.

I am not a leader of anything, @luhafraser , and I have no wish to be regarded as such. Ever. I have learned, in 20 years of my high-level public service career, that being the boss corrupts and exposes. But yes, I did want to be a disruptively positive voice in what I felt to be an intimidated community. I wanted to bring more clarity and all those research skills to all of you. I wanted honesty. And I, above anything else, wanted to help. And I am sorry that people agreeing or liking what I post seems to bother you. It is not something I can help you with. It is what it is. There is a place for all our voices to be heard in here. Every single one of them.

I have no inside information on SC and never did. I have not betrayed anything that was shared with me in DMs and only posted things when adamantly asked to do so, after careful vetting and only from people I knew. However I am a hell of a bloodhound when I am set to find something and I am rather good at what I do, also in real life. I also know when to stop and will never share things that would be legally questionable. It would expose us and it is a risk simply not worth taking.

I am not here for clicks and likes. My block list is three or four times bigger than my dash. I do not care for fame, but I do care for a couple of trusted people that became real friends. It is for them and for them only that I am not giving you satisfaction and quit.

I keep my promises. I will not go anywhere. If you do not like what I write, please unfollow and block immediately - this goes for anyone that feels bothered about me being here, in any way. I have no wish to start a war with any of you - that would make Mordor glee with joy for months. But please do me and yourself a favor: if in doubt, go now. I cannot stand duplicity, never could.

I hope that sets the record straight. Believe it or not, I have no hostility towards you. Not a single ounce.

I am not expecting an answer.

[Later edit;] I am glad I doxed myself. Very glad. But that is another story.

[akosijayjay]

January and February dump

This is my most recent work of Lloyd, and my most recent work in general. I made this in the computer room at school with a painful high-sensitive mouse. We have these special course thing in our junior high, so every tuesday after class, I get to be in the computer room. For six hours... (My course is Visual Graphics Design. I'm kinda regretting it now since I've been thinking of becoming an architect... I can't change my course now since it's too late. Which is stupid.)

I'll try to draw more there! I really like drawing with a mouse cause I like the challenge. And since I'm not accustomed to a high-sensitive mouse, it'll be a bigger challenge for me!

I made these two in traditional then polished them digitally since I straight up just used a pen. I rarely use a pencil nowadays so I can learn to fix mistakes without erasing it. Usually it ends up looking like chicken scratch but I'm getting better.

My Harumi one is so bad lol.. When I was making it, my classmates around me were messing around and moving the chairs in the process, making me have to draw strokes with shaky lines. It's not that noticeable though since I made the lines thicker.

I was planning to make something for Rebooted's anniversary but I got busy... (And lazy) The PIXAL one was inspired by an animatic I saw.

If you compare the previous Arin portrait, yes, they don't look the same. I'm trying to find a look for Arin, as I do with every character, that I'll be satisfied with.

By the way, I'm kind of basing Arin's hair with my classmate's hair. Which is funny because my other classmates compared this artwork to my classmate, who looked nothing like Arin but have similar hair, commenting they're the same. (I'm not mad because I actually find this a bit humorous)

I was trying to make an animatic and this was going to be the sketch. But then again, I got busy and lazy. (Mostly lazy)

I accidentally changed their facial features a bit by accident on the second page because I forgot to reference the first page. It was tiring flipping pages every 5 seconds, ok! Also, I drew it after 2 days when I drew the first page, and I didn't have a design I liked for them yet. (...I just noticed Jay has different eye colors in both pages...)

I think I'm sticking to these looks for Lloyd. I'll try to make it accurate to this. (I think I did great with the first image of this post. Though, I made him too round for my liking.)

Discard the growing beard post redesign Lloyd has. That beard thing was supposed to be where his chin was until I realized it was too small. And it's still too small.

Child Lloyd is so cute! The eyeshadow wasn't intentional at first, but then it got me thinking, what if Lloyd had an emo phase? And now emo child Lloyd is my headcanon.

Pre redesign Lloyd kind of reminds me of TommyInnit, and I find it quite funny. Maybe it's the facial gesture, I know a lot of TommyInnit fanarts with that silly face.

For Dragons Rising Lloyd however, I want him to have long hair with his post redesign face. I'll try to make full body designs of the 4 Lloyds.

You guys probably don't care, and this is the first time you've seen me because I don't have an exact artstyle and I dont post as much, but I'm going to put descriptions now since this blog is going to be a silly little art dump! And blog posts are supposed to be descriptive. Which I should've done in the beginning and explained my works..

Anyhow

If you liked my art, thank you!

If you saw me before and told me I did well, thank you and I'm sorry!! I know my previous posts have gotten comments and I'm sorry I didn't respond.. I'm not trying to be ungrateful, I just don't know how to express my appreciation for your positive feedback! Or just reply in general... I get nervous even when I'm wearing my mask..

Please don't hate me, I'm just really anxious to show my work to people I don't know to the point where I might think people disliked my artwork when it's the opposite..

(I'll probably copy paste this in future posts now lol. But I AM thankful that some of you guys think my works are great!)

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Fantasy High Incorrect Quotes

Fig: I can explain.

Sandra Lynn: Can you?

Fig: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

~

Kristen: A theif.

Adaine: Thief?

Kristen: Theif.

Adaine: I before E, except after C.

Kristen: Thceif.

Adaine: No

~

Somebody: How many kids do you have?

Jawbone: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

~

Riz: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Fabian's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

~

Kristen: Change is inedible.

Gorgug: Don't you mean inevitable?

Kristen, spitting out coins: No, I did not

~

Riz: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Sklonda: You're like 15 years old

Riz: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

~

Fig: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.

Fabian: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

~

Jawbone: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Kristen: Thank you

Jawbone: I didn't say that was a good thing

Kristen: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

~

Fig giving bardic: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Gorgug: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

~

Riz: Please, I'm begging you go to Kristen.

Fabian: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

~

Kipperlily: Okay. I get it. We’ve had a really hard time lately, we’re stressed out, seven people died-

Ivy: Twelve, actually.

Kipperlily: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Oisin: Yours!

Kipperlily: That's right: no one's.

~

Fabian: Okay, truth or dare?

Riz: Truth

Fabian: How many hours have you slept this week?

Riz:

Riz: ...Dare

Fabian: Go to bed.

Riz: I don’t like this game.

~

Gorgug: Why are you on the floor?

Fig: I'm depressed.

Fig: Also I was stabbed, can you get Kristen, please.

~

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Jawbone please come to the front desk?

Jawbone, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: *points to Fig and Kristen*

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Fig and Kristen, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Jawbone: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

~

Riz: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Sklonda: Riz no.

Adaine: Mistlefoe.

Sklonda: Please stop encouraging him.

~

Adaine: Hey Kristen,

Kristen: Yes?

Adaine: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Kristen:

Kristen: Where’s Aelwyn?

~

Fabian: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it

Adaine: Just rip the bandage off.

Fabian: It’s Aelwyn.

Adaine: Put the bandage back on.

~

Riz: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Fabian: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Riz: Yes!

Kristen: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

~

Jawbone: I trust the Bad Kids.

Sandra Lynn: You think they know what they're doing?

Jawbone: I wouldn't go that far.

~

Fig: If Kristen and I were drowning, who would you save?

Adaine: You two can’t swim?

Kristen: It’s a hypothetical question, Adaine! who would you save?

Adaine: my time and effort.

~

Fig: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.

Gorgug: You were flirting with Ayda.

Fig: So what? She’s my girlfriend.

Gorgug: You asked her if she was single.

Fig:

Gorgug: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

~

Fig: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Kristen: The car takes a screenshot.

Gorgug, fixing the Hangvan: For the last time, get the fuck out.

~

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Fabian: Shit.

Riz: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Fig: OH MY GOD KRISTEN FELL OFF!!!

~

Fig: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Kristen: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Fig: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING ADAINE WITH ME

Gorgug, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

~

Riz: *Gently taps table*

Adaine: *Taps back*

Kristen: What are they doing?

Fabian: Morse code.

Riz: *Aggressively taps table*

Adaine: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

~

Gorgug: Riz isn’t answering his phone

Fabian: I’ll call

Gorgug: Adaine and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Riz: Hello?

~

Adaine: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Fabian: Rude.

Fig: That’s fair.

Kristen: Not again.

Riz: Are you going to want this back?

~

Adaine: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Fig: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Kristen: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Riz: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Sandra Lynn: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

~

Adaine: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Fabian: Several traffic violations.

Kristen: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Riz: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Fig: Also, that’s not our car.

~

Adaine: Are we really going to let Fabian keep Riz?

Fig: We kept Kristen.

~

Fabian, walking into his house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Kristen: Hey.

Adaine: Hi.

Gorgug: Hello.

Fig: Hey!

Fabian: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Riz: We were out of Doritos.