#Bruce: Hnn

[puppetmaster13u]

Honestly I think it'd be funny if each time Bruce returns from time or interdimensional adventures he just keeps coming back with more kids. Like DC, you're telling me he wouldn't see sad child or child on a dying world and not take them home to be bundled up and given Alfred's cookies?

[charlietheepicwriter7]

The Joker was apprehended, sitting on the ground as Batman guarded him, but the kid--"Bruce Wayne's newest ward, how tragic! Hehehe!"--was nowhere to be found. Nightwing and Red Hood desperate searched the warehouse until a shuffling noise grabbed their attention.

A kid, black haired just like the kid in the Joker's broadcast, crawling out of a pile of boxes. "Is it over?" the boy asked quietly.

Nightwing guided him to the only exit, unfortunately walking past the boy's own kidnapper. "Yeah, kid. It's over. Come on-"

Like a shot, the boy rushed the Joker and kicked him right in the balls.

The Joker wheezed like a dying squeaky toy. Red Hood froze. Nightwing immediately snatched the boy up by the armpits, but all that did was give the boy the height to attack again, punting Joker in the jaw. The clown went down and cracked his head on the floor. He did not get back up.

There was a moment of silence before Red Hood roared with laughter, his helmet distorting the sound.

[waveoftheocean]

morning people 😒

[gummybearstastelikesadness]

The HC of Danny’s hair gaining white streaks but with him being in Gotham.

He keeps dyeing it back to solid black, because he doesn’t want to attract attention by resembling a rouge or vigilante. He has to touch up the roots every 3 weeks so absolutely no one knows.

At some point Danny ends up running out of dye and his roots start to show through so he makes an emergency stop out of his usual way to pick up more dye.

Danny ends up literally bumping into a man that sets off a light version of his ghosts in the hair dye isle, he hadn’t run into anyone that set it off in Gotham yet and ends up having no idea how to react. After a few minutes of uncomfortable staring and silence Danny just awkwardly asks the guy the first thing that came to his mind, basically asking the guy if he’s buying dye to cover up the evidence of his death too.

Jason is now panicking because this scrawny kid just:

1. Thinks Jason died (the kid is right, but he shouldn’t know that)

2. Admitted/thinks that he died (the kid either did die or thinks he did, both are concerning for very different reasons)

3. Has evidence of white in his hair just like Jason (the kids eyes are blue, so his bungee jump back from death’s probably not related to the pit. Hopefully)

And 4. looks like someone Bruce would kidnap off the street and put in a colorful costume (probably the most worrying. The kid looked like a strong wind would blow him over, he wouldn’t make it as a bat or bird)

[timdrakequotes]

Tam: Your voice changes.

Tim: Hnn?

Tam: When it’s…business…your voice changes.

–Tim Drake with Tam Fox (Red Robin #16 – The Hit List: Part Four: The Best-Laid Plans)

[mistergreatbones]

Do you think whenever Damian does his little -tt- sound to show he’s annoyed the others click/suck their teeth back at him

[batmans-cheerleader]

my favorite superbat dynamic is when both of them are just really stupid

[damiduck]

Damian, handing Bruce a piece of paper with a very neat calendar on it: father, I will be taking a step back from my participation in our nightly patrols. I have carefully considered factors such as, but not limited to, school tests, most likely days for breakouts and when other people will be available. Here is my schedule.

Bruce: any particular reason you are stepping back from Robin?

Damian: I have reached an acceptable age and am by far mature enough, so I will be participating in Ramadan this year, father. Afterwards I will pick my duties up as normal, but with changed sleeping and eating patterns, this is the most logical step for now.

Bruce, who grew up with a jewish mother and christian father who were intent to raise him on some weird mix of the two, then a second father who was atheist, proceeded to lose his entire way in any form of religion due to losing himself in his teen years, took in Jewish boy, then a catholic one with religious trauma, then an atheist one who had no idea how to even approach the idea of religion, followed up by a pagan girl and already making seven different mental lists of things he will need to research, how to add aspects of Islam into their weird family holidays and trying desperately to show his support for his son: ....hnn

Damian: thank you father

[p1nkshield]

I made a post earlier about how Dick should have taught Damian to use his baby face to his advantage and someone said he would teach all of his siblings. So here is the aftermath. A task force specifically designed to bring Bruce down.

Dick: Hey B, I was wondering if we could borrow the Batmobile for the weekend?

Bruce: … [no]

Dick: Pretty please I promise it will be in one piece when I give it back!

Bruce: Hnn. [Still no]

Dick: Fine then, you’ve forced my hand. ATTACK!

Tim steps forward, yawning and promising to try and sleep properly.

Bruce loses two health points.

Duke is next in the initiative order.

Duke: It would be fun!

The full power of the sun shines through his smile.

Bruce falters but passes a quick time event in his head, only losing another two health points.

Cass steps up to the plate.

Cass: I would like to go on an outing with my siblings, it sounds fun.

CRITICAL HIT!

Bruce is starting to sweat as a total of ten health points are swept away by the fact cass considers them family.

Damian decides to use his special attack! Holding the target’s sleeve makes it especially effective!

Damian: Baba, please?

A whopping fifty points! BRUCE IS HANGING ON BY A THREAD!

Jason: c’mon Dad.

Fatality

Bruce: fine.

Dick: Great job team!

Damian: yes, we got the Batmobile successfully. I will drive.

Dick: No-

[alienzil]

DP x DC Prompt/notion # 5

Bruce finished logging the last details of tonight’s patrol and reluctantly pulled up contingency file PT-961. “Hnn,” he grunted to the empty cave, staring at the folder on screen but making no move to open it yet. His children were all out for the evening with various excuses: doing research on a case, homework, visiting a friend, etc. He knew they were really with Fenton for a movie night of course…the third such movie night in the last several months since they started sneaking over to visit the man.

He'd put this off long enough, making excuses to himself about assessing the situation before coming to any conclusions, it was past time he did something about it.

Cli-click. There. The file was open.

He’d made this contingency plan years ago, creating it only a days after Dick had moved into the manor and updating as needed as the family had grown but it hadn’t been touched for years.

PT-961 In The Event That More than 50% of the Children Form an Attachment to a New Parental Figure (see file HM-962 if less than 50%) 1. Initial Research: a. Attachment levels – see pages 1-36, graphs I-XLVII b. Assessment of New Parental Figure c. Background and character 2. Intentions – harmful a. If wanting money see contingency files (GD-01 to GD-207) b. If mind control – magic see contingency files (SMM-M-01 to SMM-M-508) c. If mind control – science see contingency files (NAM-ES-01 to NAM-ES-904) d. If criminal intentions see contingency files (CAP-C-201 to CAP-C-508) 3. Intentions – positive a. Option 1. Hire them - See Family reaction projections pages 37-75 - See likelihood of job acceptance pages 76-94 - See possible outcome projections pages 95-127 Note: Option 1 has the highest likelihood of job acceptance and a positive outcome in the event New Parental Figure has an annual income of less than $42,300 and/or is greater than or equal to age 57. b. Option 2. No interference/Let the Children decide what to do - See Children’s time projections pages 128-209, graphs XLVIII-LXX - See possible mission/patrol interference scenarios pages 210-293 - See possible outcomes pages 294-362 Note: Projections for Option 2 show a near 100% likelihood of interference with patrols/mission. Note: Interference resulting in increased potential for injury or delay in treatment of injuries estimated to be 68-94% more likely. c. Option 3. Custody arrangement - See potential arrangements pages 363-482, graphs LXXI-XC - See possible outcomes pages 363-401 Note: The majority of projections show Option 3 is unlikely to be successful. Both the children and New Parental Figure are predicted to be uncooperative in time and custody arrangements with no other controlling factors. d. Option 4. Engage in a relationship - See family reactions page 402-481 - See New Parental Figure reactions pages 482-568 - See possible outcomes pages 569-757 Note: For possible romantic or similar relationships see contingency files (DM-401 to DM-879) Note: In the event Option 1 is nonviable, Option 4 has the highest likelihood of a positive outcome. e. Option 5. Arrange for New Parental Figure to leave - See contingency files (ROI-G-301 to ROI-G-809) Note: High likelihood of one or more children discovering the arrangement for the removal of New Parental Figure leading to high likelihood of estrangement. Also likely to be ethically questionable.

Bruce double checked his notes on Daniel James Fenton. He was 2 years younger than Bruce, earned a high income as a freelance engineer and had multiple patents that gave him enough passive income from royalties that he could easily maintain his current lifestyle without working. There were no indications of any criminal history or ill intentions and thus far all of his interactions with the children appear to have been positive. More than positive given that every single one of his kids was now “secretly” (or secretly in so far as they were aware) spending time with him.

He steepled his hands in front of his face and focused on the data displayed on screen.  The best option to take in this case was obvious.

*****

Ding-Dong! “I’m coming!” Danny yelled as he dropped the laundry basket on the couch and headed for the front door. “Why is there always a package delivery on laundry day?” he muttered to himself. Well, hopefully the delivery guy wouldn’t mind his no clean laundry ensemble. Surely, they’d seen worse than Danny’s ancient, too small NASA t-shirt and the bat themed pajama pants Sam bought for him when he moved to Gotham.

“Hi there, sorry I was doing laundry and…uhh…you’re not the delivery guy”. Danny stared at a sharply dressed smiling man holding a dozen roses on the other side of his door.

“No, I’m Bruce Wayne. I-“

“Oh, shit”

Bruce’s eyes narrowed. “You know.”

“Umm…” Danny gulped. He was not expecting to deal with Batman on laundry day! “Yes?” He straightened himself, squared his shoulders and looked Bruce Wayne AKA Batman, the father of the kids that his core had recently come to recognize as his own, in the eyes. “Yes,” he said firmly. “I know.”

“Hnnn…” Bruce’s voice dropped a few octaves. Not quite Batman’s signature growl but much lower than he had been speaking. “Well then, that simplifies things. These are for you. Would you like to go out to dinner with me?”

“…What?!”

[catgrandpa]

I need a fic where Bruce realizes this kid who shoved his way into his sidekick roll will not be leaving anytime soon, and instead of emotionally distancing himself he becomes a combination Helicopter Mom and Shotgun Dad.

☆彡

Tim: Bruce, I’m headed out to meet my friends at the mall.

Bruce: Is that Kent boy going to be there?

Tim, rolling his eyes: Yes, Kon is going. And so is Bart, and Cassie, and maybe Bernard if he can make it.

Bruce: Hnn. Do you have everything? Coat, scarf, keys, wallet, tracker, pepper spray, dagger, kryptonite shard, emergency beacon, first aid kid, fire starter, extra pair of-

Tim: Yes, Dad! I already went through the list with Alfred. I’ll be fine.

☆彡

Kon: Hello Sir! I’m here to pick up Tim!

Bruce: Follow me.

…

Bruce: Sit down.

Kon: In your study? Is Tim on the way, or…?

Bruce: I just thought you might need reminding of the fact that I have a vault downstairs full of items specifically designed to take down a Kryptonian.

Kon: Whuh?

Bruce: You should probably ask your father about the time I was slightly annoyed with him for encroaching on one of my cases.

Kon: Why are you telling me this?

Bruce: Now just imagine what would happen if someone were to hurt my darling little boy.

*door opens*

Tim: Hey Bruce, Alfie said Kon was here, have you seen him? Oh! Hey, why are you two in here??

Bruce: Oh, hey sweetheart, we were just chatting. Have a good time at the carnival!

☆彡

Dick, pouting: I don’t understand, you’re not this protective over who Jason or I date.

Bruce: Don’t be ridiculous, Jason and I may have our problems, but he would never betray me by gallivanting off with someone I disapprove of.

Dick, who covered for Jay sneaking out to visit Roy Harper just last night: Mhm yeah, sure. And you’re not worried about me?

Bruce: Chum, I’ve known who you were going to marry since you were 12 years old.

Dick: WHAT?

Bruce: I have the whole ceremony already planned. I’ve got Gotham’s best wedding planner on standby. You have a very nice house waiting for you both, 20 minutes from here. A modest 7 bedrooms on 5 acres of land.

Dick: I’m not even dating anyone?!

Bruce: I can’t wait to meet my 3 grandbabies:)

[spacetraversingshapechanger]

Tim, running solely on caffeine and spite: if baby oil dissolves condoms, what the fuck does it do to babies 

Damian, completely deadpan: this may shock you, but babies and condoms are made of different material 

Dick, brightly: its like rock paper scissors! Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby 

Jason, from across the house: rock also defeats baby!  

Bruce, on the stairs wishing he hadn’t gotten out of bed: Hnn 

[metalphoenix]

Trans Dick Grayson Head canons

He knew from super young that he was a boy. Like he was 3 or 4 telling people he was not a girl. I like to imagine his parents just kind of rolled with it. Like they live in a circus. Being weird is like... a prerequisite or something. Maybe Richard is what they were gonna name him if he had been born male so he chose that then found out that Dick was a nickname of Richard and the rest is history.

All this to say, he'd been living as Dick Grayson for years by the time he met Bruce.

This is how I think Bruce found out. So Dick wasn't born in the United States (no idea if this is canon or not but for the sake of this head canon that is the assumption I am operating under). So it would probably take Bruce a bit to get all of Dick's papers like birth certificates and other forms and he's very confused as to why he got a girls birth certificate?

Dick *walking into Bruce's office*: Hey B

Bruce: Oh good, I wanted to talk to you. Do you have a sister or a female cousin you haven't told me about?

Dick: No???

Bruce: Ok well I'm trying to get all your papers sorted and I think Haly may have sent me the wrong ones because these are for a girl named [insert dead name of choice] Grayson.

Dick: What? No, thats me?

Bruce *now very confused*: What???

Dick *confused at Bruce's confusion*: Ya? I was born [deadname] but thats not my name anymore?

Bruce *realizing this means his new tiny son is trans* hnn

Bruce asks him a few days later if he wants him to change his paperwork so it says Richard Grayson and has his sex marker as M. Dick is kind of confused why it matters but is just like sure?

The Puberty Talk is very awkward on Bruce's front. He ends up talking to Dick about hormone blockers to hold off on puberty for a bit which Dick agrees to. He starts blockers at 11.

At 13 he starts on a low dosage of Testosterone under the guidance of Dr. Tompkins and a pediatric endocrinologist.

Bruce does all of his T shots for him and they make a little event out of it. They day they do the shots they take a night off from patrol and order take out and eat it on the couch while they watch a movie. These are also the only days Alfred lets them eat ice cream straight out of the carton. (Bruce still goes on patrol but only after Dick goes to bed. It wouldn't do to have a very noticeable pattern of days he takes off).

Because of this Dick never goes through female puberty, combine that with the fact that everyone knows Bruce Wayne adopted a son, he's pretty much stealth.

When he's 16 he starts talking to Bruce about getting bottom surgery (he doesn't need top surgery seeing as he never grew breasts). He has all three bottom surgeries over the next year.

I like to think that he just... forgets people don't know. Like it doesn't occur to him that to everyone thats not Bruce, Alfred or Leslie he just looks like a cis dude. Maybe when he's like 17 he goes to pride and wears a trans flag or paints the trans flag on his cheek or something. The papparazi take a photo of him and it becomes Big News.

They hold one press conference to be like "ya I'm a trans guy, I've always been a trans guy. No stop asking about my transition that is private medical information"

He becomes more involved in the trans community after that.

Extra: Maybe he is an olympic athlete as well. obviously he competed in mens gymnastics. Imagine the debates that would cause.

[black-lone-knight]

I need a fic in which Bruce goes undercover as a patient in Arkham Asylum. Then Dick comes to visit him and give him the updates on the League and Batfam.

Dick: So... how did you convince the doctors that you're insane?

Bruce: I told them I have a bunch of kids and we are used to dying and coming back to life.

Dick:* bursts out laughing* OMG! You didn't...

Bruce: And the mothers of two of my kids are assassins.

Dick: True...

Bruce: Then I tried to make them to give me job at asylum. Because I'm a detective whom is undercover for a case.

Dick: *drowned in tears and laughter* They really bought that?

Bruce: Not until I told them that I have high level depression.

Dick: Dude... you didn't even try to lie.

Bruce: Hnn.

[timdrakequotes]

Batman: And this girl you just released from prison?

Red Robin: A new Lynx. And she might be an undercover cop from Hong Kong. Or she might not. It’s complicated.

Batman: Hnn. Later we can talk about how I’ve dealt with Selina Kyle all these years…but for now…let’s just have some fun…

--Tim Drake with Bruce Wayne (Red Robin #17 – The Hit List: Epilogue: Back to Front)

[nterror-blog]

An after gala conversation

Bruce: Hnn

Cass: Hrnn