#and take dick

[ghost-bxrd]

Hi! I was wondering how Talon! Dick would react to Jason getting hurt during patrol or maybe getting sick and leaving him unable to talk, or when he does it's super raspy and quiet, and he can barely make his own noises too? 🦉

Okidoki let’s go with him being sick! (Cuz, you know, him being hurt and unable to talk… at all, is gonna happen in about… oh! Thirty days!) If it’s the first time it happens, Dick absolutely assumes Jason is dying and panics accordingly.

You know that stupid cold where you wake up one morning after feeling completely fine the day before but suddenly your throat feels like you swallows razors and any sound you try to make is like a crow on crack? Yeah. Like that.

Dick absolutely loses it and starts going straight into hardcore survival mode. Jason gets squirreled away into the most remote place in the manor with dozens of blankets and pillows. Food and water vanishes from the kitchens, along with whatever kind of first aid meds and utensils he can scrounge from the cave before Bruce comes back.

When Alfred and Bruce return from a gala… the manor is quiet. Too quiet. And Bruce immediately heads to Dick and Jason’s rooms only to find them both empty. Cue: Bruce and Alfred start panicking because the place looks like a tornado blew through it. The nests are gone, everything is in disarray, and the boys are nowhere in sight.

Conclusion: a kidnapping must have occurred.

So while Batman inspires the fear of god in every small time criminal and rogue on the streets by being MUCH MORE violent than usual (by the end of the night everyone knows to stay indoors if you’re crooked cuz the Bat’s gone crazy looking for his birds) and some of the more sensible rogues band together to find out who took Talon and Robin (nobody), Dick is still freaking out because he’s sure Jason is dying (he’s not, calm down Dickiebird).

Jason just lays back and allows the smothering (and is very happy when he finally manages to get Dick to bring him a pen and notepad for communication), Dick calms down considerably once they’ve established Jason is just a little sick (“Yes, cuddles actually help. No I’m not shitting you, they do! Btw get me some ibuprofen pls”) and not, in fact, dying. (Dick doesn’t fully believe it but Jason is still snarky so it can’t be too bad quite yet right?)

Alfred ends up finding them while Dick is down in the kitchens searching for the ibuprofen and very nearly starts yelling before thinking better of it (he was very worried okay cut him some slack).

Thirty minutes later Bruce is also back at the manor (after nearly causing several head on collisions) and hovering anxiously, torn between lecturing his kids and just— holding them and never letting go.

[begaycommittreason]

officer: are these your children sir?

damian, forcefully raided a petco to liberate the animals: hello father

jason, released said animals on unsuspecting tourists for fun: sup old man

bruce: …nope

officer: oh, then them?

steph duke and cass, covered in equal parts confetti, dirt, and blood, waving:

bruce: oh no, im not touching that one with a ten foot pole

officer: …so it has to be one of them?

alfred, got into an altercation with someone at home goods over the last crockpot: i have no regrets master bruce

tim, hacked the cia to put himself higher than jason on their wanted list and accidentally implicated himself in an unrelated crime: i’m more disappointed in myself, really

bruce: …i’ve never met these people before

assorted incarcerated batkids: *various outraged clamor*

officer: then who are you here to collect?

bruce, pointing to a different cell, sighing: that one’s mine

clark, was pulled over for following all the gotham road laws (incredibly suspicious behavior): hi bruce!!!

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Here’s how I want robin in the next battinson movie:

The very first scene is Bruce and tiny Dick Grayson sitting across from each other at the dining table, staring each other down in silence, both clearly grumpy about it. Alfred is in the background watching them with concern. The silence lasts about 20 seconds before Dick speaks.

“Let me fight crime.” (said with all the petulance of a pouty 10 year old)

Bruce replies immediately. “No.” (this is clearly an ongoing argument)

Immediately cut to the next scene where Dick, wearing the iconic Robin suit, is having the time of his life swinging across the city while Bruce frantically tries to keep up with him while yelling at him to be careful like an anxious mother

[thief-of-eggs]

Damian: *storming into the den* Faaaather, Drake called me a rude word-

Tim: For the hundredth time, I said you were acting like Dick, not acting like a dick!

Jason: *not even glancing up from his book* That’s debatably worse

Dick: *exaggeratedly wounded gasp*

Damian: *pulling a knife* You take that back Todd-

Bruce: *as chaos ensues* …I’m out

[abisalli]

bring your kid to work day 

★bonus:  he’s impressed 

[dragonpyre]

Young Dick to young Jason: hey, I can see you’re feeling down. Wanna steal the Batmobile?

Adult Dick to adult Jason (who nearly killed a dude): hey, I can see you’re feeling down. Wanna steal the Batmobile?

[mammutblog]

tim gets de-age-beamed and jason is forced to stay at the manor because timmy only wants to hang out with his favourite robin

[salmonchan]

Dick just doesn't understand their perfect and completely normal dymanic 🙄

Like, let them have their conversation calm down ur dramatic beans

[bastardlybonkers]

so this is what it feels like

[ghost-bxrd]

Headcanon that when Jason so much as says “ow..” on the comms the rest of the batfam immediately assume he must be dying.

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Genuinely love the fact that regardless of which Superfam/Batfam pairing (romantic or platonic) you're looking at, it's always some variation of:

Batfam member: They're so lucky I'm the normal one.

Superfam member: Holy shit, every single one of you is fucking insane!!!!

[audhd-nightwing]

jason, coming back from the dead and seeing tim as robin: how could bruce replace me? how could he give robin to someone else?

dick, who created robin in honor of his dead parents and then had bruce take it away and give it to jason without even asking him:

[nerdpoe]

Dick gets his drink mixed up with another persons in the library while visiting Barbara.

He was drinking some kale smoothie thing, for health and stuff, and he set it down to grab a book from the shelf. There was another guy next to him, who also had a smoothie in the same kind of shake-n-go bottle.

They swapped by accident.

Dick checked out his book, said goodbye to Barbara, and took a sip of his smoothie.

That's the last thing he remembers.

He wakes up two days later pinned down by a practically feral Jason, who's eyes are glowing a sickly Lazarus green, with Bruce, Tim, Cass, and Duke all showing signs of losing a fight. He's sore everywhere, and Damian is nowhere to be seen.

"Uh...." his voice cracks, and he's suddenly aware of how fucking painful his throat is. "Hi? What's going on?"

"...Is it really you, Dickwing? I swear to God if it isn't and this is another-"

"Jay I really don't know what's going on, man."

Jason doesn't believe him. Dick is cuffed with anti-meta cuffs and escorted to the cave, where Bruce demands test after test and Dick tells them the last thing he remembers.

Apparently, after taking that sip, his eyes had turned to Lazarus green, and he had beelined for the mansion. Along the way there, he had run into the Riddler.

He had broken most of the Riddler's bones.

That was when everyone had been called in to subdue Dick, who for some strange reason kept gunning for Damian. Hence, Damian was upstairs and not allowed down until they were sure Dick was okay again.

It's concluded that Dick drank some alternate form of Lazarus Water, lost his mind, proceeded to take everyone out with enhanced strength and speed except Jason, who had entered a Pit episode just to keep up, and worked through it two days after consumption.

But who the fuck transported a material as dangerous as modified Lazarus Water in a fucking shake-n-go bottle?

Danny, however, is a little sad that his ecto-shake was stolen by some rando at the library.

Their kale smoothie was pretty good though.

[lemonlimestar]

save me 90s bats…. 90s bats save me….

[sky-is-the-limit]

𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚛𝚢, 𝚍𝚘𝚐𝚐𝚢, 𝚌𝚘𝚠𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕, 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚙𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚠𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕, 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚎𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚍𝚘𝚐𝚐𝚢, 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚛𝚢, 𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚘𝚗, 𝚕𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚑𝚘𝚐, 𝚛𝚘𝚍𝚎𝚘, 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚍𝚘𝚐𝚐𝚢, 𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚍, 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚕𝚎, 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚛, 𝚕𝚘𝚝𝚞𝚜, 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚕𝚢, 𝚋𝚞𝚕𝚕, 𝚍𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚛, 𝚙𝚞𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚞𝚜𝚑, 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚝𝚘𝚙, 𝚛𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚜𝚎, 𝚜𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚌𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚜, 𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚒𝚝 𝚋𝚛𝚞𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚡 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚊𝚝, 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚐 𝚞𝚙, 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚑 𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚜 𝚞𝚙, 𝚞𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗, 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚍, 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚛, 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛, 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎, 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚗, 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑, 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚎, 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝, 𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚎.

(gif cred: @itspapillonnoir)