#bpd abuse

[iridescentmemoria]

[livingzomboy]

If youre an ableist please block me, tags will be for reach but im protecting me and you who comes across this

Curate your online experience

The block me list:

Narc/BPD/PD abuse folks, your trauma is valid your ableism isnt

TERFs, trans women were at the forefront of your movement for so long

Moral purists, my thoughts and feelings do not define me, inherently ableist, racist, transphobic etc.

Anti-microlabels, also inherently ableist

Anti-paraphilia , theyre mental illnesses and we can recover (to the big three who are anti recovery or pro contact dni, pro contact for any harmful paraphiles dni)

"Schizoposting" people who seek to demean schizospec people and are not schizospec themselves, or post intentionally triggering content

those who think that the only neurodivergences are autism or ADHD, get educated homie

and similar ideas

[devinetheory-2]

I didn't make you the villain.

You're self-made.

- DT

[the-enemys-gate-is-down]

I look at pictures of myself from that time and I was a kid. just a little kid. she abused a CHILD. and she felt justified in doing so.

[worms-in-my-brain]

People with psychotic disorders are neurodivergent too.

People with personality disorders are neurodivergent too.

People with substance abuse disorders are neurodivergent too.

People with tic disorders are neurodivergent too.

People with bipolar disorder are neurodivergent too.

People with dissociative disorders are neurodivergent too.

Neurodivergence isn’t just ADHD, autism, anxiety, and depression. (Plus those last two also get left out sometimes!) Neurodivergence is anything that affects your brain.

“Neurodivergent people hate loud noises” is actually just as valid as a statement as “neurodivergent people have delusions,” “neurodivergent people have tics,” or even “neurodivergent people have low empathy.”

[borderlinejackiee]

[sin-esthezia]

the thing that gets me the most about ableism against pd’s is that ppl will be like “these disorders make you an ASSHOLE!!!!” and then turn around and pretend that other disorders can’t and don’t make you act shitty.

depression and anxiety can make you irritable and snappy. they can cause you to refuse to listen to people and to be distant and withdrawn. they can cause you to seem angry, bitchy, rude, uncaring, etc.

ptsd causes an array of difficulties in forming meaningful relationships. it pretty much shakes up your entire worldview and sense of self a lot of the time. ptsd can cause you to get angry often. it can cause you to yell and scream. it can cause you to withdraw from others, run away, or cut them out. it can cause general changes in demeanor and more cynical worldviews. it can make you seem grouchy, negative, explosive, impolite, difficult, needy, controlling, etc.

and yet when people with personality disorders have symptoms of that nature, suddenly we are irredeemable monsters. when it’s npd, bpd, hpd, or aspd instead of ptsd or depression and anxiety, people suddenly and magically lose the ability to be understanding.

mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. i firmly believe that. hurting others is never justified simply because you have any disorder.

but if you can be patient with people who have depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd, or any other more well understood mental illness, you can be patient with us.

[its-simply-just-krys]

“Mouthful of Forevers”, Clementine von Radics

[aintnopartylikeaprideparty]

as someone who has experienced abuse from someone with a personality disorder, it's actually incredibly easy to not dehumanize everyone with a personality disorder. i've seen people do borderline eugenic rhetoric surrounding people who have npd, aspd, bpd or other personality disorders, and then be like "I'M allowed to say these things because i'm a survivor, and if you disagree you are hurting abuse victims."

and frankly? i'm tired of it. as an abuse survivor i'm here to say that you're NOT allowed to turn into a fucking eugenicist the moment you're hurt by someone with a personality disorder.

does hurting and belittling other people who happen to have the same disorder as your abuser, people that are already suffering and that are already looked down on by society, bring you any healing? does it bring you peace?

Being hurt by someone isn't an excuse to hurt others that you feel justified in lashing out on. you're literally in control of your own actions,

you may claim to be making a safe space for abuse survivors, but i will never feel any solidarity with you, and i ESPECIALLY don't feel safe with you considering i might have a personality disorder.

you are excluding a large amount of abuse survivors in the name of "advocacy". a lot of people with personality disorders developed one or multiple due to heavy abuse. in the aim of creating a safe space, you are excluding the ones who need a safe space the most.

[cccat-in-a-meat-sack]

me, with both:...

[moonlit-positivity]

You don't need everyone to like you. I understand this can be an overwhelming trauma response to being neglected and otherwise hurt as a kid without the comfort and reassurance of our parents. But please try to remember that your worth is not dependent on how many people can love you. You have something much more important and worth protecting-- your heart and soul and mind and spirit. Not everyone you meet in this world is gonna resonate and vibe with you on those same levels. You've got to get comfortable with the concept of being misunderstood or feeling out of place-- and, rather than fawn to fit in, take that as a sign to find the spaces and people who can better appreciate you for it.

[autopsyfreak]

tired of people on tiktok acting like BPD and HPD are the ‘good cluster b disorders’ or the ‘victim cluster b’s’ meanwhile NPD and ASPD are the ‘evil mean abusive cluster b’s’

stfu.

we’re in the same cluster for a reason, you can’t support some whilst demonising the others.

[devinetheory-2]

I tend to shy away from posting ish like this but it seems so applicable. If one of you sees this and is able to break the cycle before the misery, self loathing and self doubt kick in... than I've been able to do some good in this world. Be the light you want to see in the world and don't let ANYONE OR ANYTHING extinguish that.

Love life, live happy.

- DT

What are the symptoms of narcissistic abuse?

Well here are a few:

You are being covertly manipulated.

Since it is covert you are not meant to notice that you are being made to do something you otherwise would not have against your own self-interests. Since you are in this pickle that means you were not familiar with the tactics and how to identify and resist them. Therefore the easiest way to tell is to ask yourself some of these questions.

Your mood depends entirely on the state of the relationship, and you are experiencing extreme highs and lows.

Your joy at finding love has turned into the fear of losing it. Your feelings have moved from happiness and euphoria to anxiety, sadness, and depression.

You're unhappy in the relationship and uncertain about it much of the time, yet you dread losing it because of you're blissfully happy with it every now and then

You feel like you're responsible for ruining the best thing that ever happened to you, but you're not sure how

Your relationship feels very complex, although you don't know why. When talking to others about it, you might find yourself saying, “It’s hard to explain. It is really complicated”

You continually obsess about the relationship, analyzing every detail repeatedly in a desperate attempt to “figure it out”. You talk about all the time to anyone that will listen. It doesn’t do any good.

You never feel sure of where you stand with your partner, which leaves you in a perpetual state of uncertainty and anxiety

You frequently ask your partner if something is wrong. It feels as if something is wrong but you don’t know what it is

You are frequently on the defensive. You feel misunderstood and have the need to explain and defend yourself.

You seem to have developed a problem with trust, jealousy, insecurity, and overreaction during this relationship which your partner has pointed out to you on many occasions.

You feel ongoing anger or resentment for someone

You have become a detective. You scour the web and social media for information about your partner. You feel a need to check their web history, texts or emails. When they are not home you feel the need to verify their whereabouts.

You feel you don’t truly know how to make your partner happy. You try hard but nothing seems to work, at least not for long. You used to make them very happy and you are not sure what has changed.

Expressing negative thoughts and emotions feels restricted or even forbidden, so you try to keep all those things to yourself. You feel frustrated about not being able to talk about the things that are bothering you.

You don't feel good about yourself like you did before the relationship. You feel less confident, less secure, less intelligent, less sane, less trusting, less attractive or in some way “less than” you were before.

You always feel you are falling short of your partner's expectations. You feel inadequate.

You often feel guilty and find yourself apologizing a lot. You continually try to repair the damage you believe you have caused. You blame yourself for your partner pulling away from you. You can’t understand why you keep sabotaging the relationship.

You carefully control your words, actions, and emotions around your partner to keep them from withdrawing their affection again

At times you erupt like an emotional volcano filled with anger, frustration, and even hostility. You have never acted this way before and vow it will stop, but no matter how hard you try, it keeps happening.

You do things you are not really comfortable with or that go against your morals, values, limits or boundaries to make your partner happy and keep the relationship intact.

You feel your partner needs to dominate the relationship

You feel your partner does not understand your needs in the relationship.

You find yourself trying to explain basic human emotions and concepts to and adult. You feel the need to make them understand.

You feel your giving nature is being exploited or that you are being taken advantage of

You feel taken for granted

You feel you need them far more than they need you

You feel trapped with no clear way out.

You find yourself checking with your partner and unable to trust yourself or your judgment when making decisions.

You feel they have more control over your emotions and feelings than you do

You feel something bad will happen if you don’t do what they want

No matter how much you do for them they make you feel like you haven’t done enough.

They intimidate you with their mood or anger.

You feel you can’t do anything to change them

Even when you do please them it doesn’t last long

You feel you are working way harder at the relationship than they are.

Other Common symptoms and things to look for:

You find yourself isolated from friends and family and support to appease or please them.

You find yourself more and more emotionally dependent on them for validation.

You seem to be expected to do all the chores and housework/cooking

They want to be served

They are hypocrites

They won’t apologize or accept accountability. For those variants that can, it is very infrequent and you have a hard time accepting it because it does not feel sincere (because it isn’t).

Their actions don’t match their words

The same problems come up over and over. It goes in circles. Nothing is ever resolved or forgiven

They act differently around others than with you. Like two different people.

They treat you like a child.

At the beginning of the relationship you were never apart, and you felt they were your “soul mate”

You are constantly drained and exhausted

Trauma Bonded

You find yourself putting up with things you never would have in any other relationship but cannot detach or leave and so find yourself unable to hold your boundaries so they stampede over them and chip away at them.

In other words, you are addicted and trauma bonded. You can answer yes to the questions I went over in this answer:

William Gorder's answer to How can you tell if you are trauma bonded to your Narcissist?

PTSD/CPTSD

You are suffering for the symptoms PTSD or CPTSD that I covered in this answer:

William Gorder's answer to What are the symptoms of PTSD when healing from narcissistic abuse?

You feel an “Intense” love or chemistry with them, that keeps you from leaving.

You have confused love/intimacy with addiction/intensity/abuse.

Check this answer here:

William Gorder's answer to How can you tell the difference between a traumatic bond and being in love with a narcissist?

You find yourself implementing defense mechanisms like:

Cognitive Dissonance:

Through your unconscious mind, you justify doing things you otherwise would have considered wrong, make something seem more or less important than it really is, create new reasons for doing something that goes against better judgment and denies, ignores or avoids information that conflicts with already accepted beliefs. This is a defense mechanism for handling trauma to cope with restoring some semblance of equilibrium to your life.

Magical Thinking and Pollyannaism

Despite rationale or evidence to the contrary, your naive childlike mind wishes to have a happy ending so you find yourself thinking things like:

There must be some good in them, nobody is all bad

They cannot possibly be that manipulative

They are just a product of their upbringing

They can change

If I love them better it will get better

They don’t want to hurt me, they just need help

They didn’t mean it

Things will get better

You show symptoms of NVS (Narcissistic Victim Syndrome). Some of these may not manifest as noticeably until discard.

William Gorder's answer to How do CPTSD and Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome differ? Also, how do their treatment options differ?

I think this answer has gotten long enough. Thanks for the A2A

[a-sip-of-milo]

Abuse isn't only physical. Sometimes it is...

Shouting at them until they cry/retaliate.

Humiliating them in front of friends and family.

Refusing to let them see friends and family.

Isolating them from what's outside.

Refusing to let them have control over their own finances / keeping it all for yourself.

Belittling their looks, their personality, their thoughts, etc.

Bullying them in any way.

Purposely pushing boundaries.

Threatening them, either physically, verbally or emotionally.

Controlling what and when they eat.

Locking them in rooms so they can't escape.

Refusing to let them use the toilet/eat/sleep/etc. after or before a certain time.

Gaslighting them into questioning their own reality.

Lying to or manipulating the people around them so they look like the abuser.

Purposely breaking their belongings, especially in front of them.

Ignoring safewords/"stop"/anything that indicates they're not okay with what's happening (in general, not just in the bedroom)

Giving them zero privacy. That means going through their diaries, tracking them, attending their therapy/doctors appointments when they don't want you to.

Setting them up to fail for the sole purpose of getting to punish them.

Obvious favoritism of one child over another/the others.

All of these are things that I have personally been through. They contributed heavily to my eating disorder, my BPD, my anxiety and my depression.

[disqualified-human-1103]

I’m sick of going to bed and knowing things won’t be better tomorrow

[borderlinejackiee]