#cass is also not completely healed but more so that damian are you kidding

[belljarbehavior]

cassandra cain and damian wayne should be shown bonding more. They both had horrendous childhoods and they alone know what it's like to be trained to kill and see that as the only purpose of their lives for a long time. They alone completely understand that about each other.

Don't get me wrong i love dick grayson and damian's pseudo father figure and protector but he will never understand damian's kill or be killed childhood while cass does. she might also be the best to help damian truly understand how it effects him as he gets older. give me cass and damian sibling bonding moments please.

[pinkiemachine]

GOTHAM FILES: SEASON 7

SO, to start off, Jason has begun to form the Outlaws in a mini series going on in the background. His new team consists of himself, Roy Harper (Arsenal), Artemis of Bana-Mighdall (Amazon warrior), and Bizarro, (botched Superman clone).

BUT FORGET ALL THAT—SEASON 7.

The opening arc issssssssssss 🥁 🥁 🥁

THE KILLING JOKE.

Joker is back, he’s out of Arkham, and this time… his scheme is particularly diabolical. He’s discovered Batgirl’s secret identity. By the end of this harrowing tale, after many ups and downs, Joker escapes… after having shot Barbara in the back and paralysing her from the waste down. This shatters Barbara’s world. So not only has her identity been leaked (eventually making its way to the public) but now she’s lost the ability to walk and she’s lost the ability to be Batgirl. Basically, everything she ever wanted to do for Gotham, for her friends and family, feels completely out of reach now, and she doesn’t know what to do.

I mean, first of all, she needs to go underground to keep her and her father safe, but after that… she needs to do some serious soul searching. The conclusion of which is this: she may not be able to use her body to its fullest extent anymore, but she still has her sharp mind. She can still help. She can be the BatFam’s “Guy in the chair.” Or in this case, “Gal in the chair.” She takes the new Codename “Oracle” and sets up her headquarters in an old, abandoned clock tower. (She can’t be seen at Wayne Manor, ever. They’d link her (Batgirl) back to Bruce and then the secret would be out.) But now she’s kinda starting to feel like she’s found her groove again. She has a purpose again.

Damian continues his training under Bruce, Dick and Star navigate married life, Jason is gallivanting off with the Outlaws, Tim has actually been chosen by Bruce to kind of become Bruce Wayne’s apprentice in a way—Bruce thinks that one day, maybe he could run Wayne Enterprises—Stephanie and Tim continue to work on their relationship, Batwoman makes another appearance, Batman and Catwoman start to date a little more seriously (much to Damian’s chagrin), things move forward, and then we meet Cassandra Cain.

Specifically, Barbara meets Cass. See, this girl is very similar to Damian in that she was raised to be an assassin. However, her twisted father’s approach was to prohibit her from speaking ever, so that she had to rely solely on body language and facial expressions. This allows her to read people exceptionally well. She can tell if someone’s going to attack her, how they’re going to attack her, and when they’re going to attack her, all before they can even blink. Thing is, she’s not a natural-born killer. After she took her first life at just eight years old, she freaked out and tired to run away. She managed to escape a few years later. Now she had popped up on Oracle’s radar, and she sent in the BatFam to sort out the kerfuffle. When Bruce meets her, he can tell that she’s not like the deranged lunatics of Gotham, she’s just a kid. A kid with no clear direction in life and a dark past. He lets her crash at the Manor until she can get a few things sorted. They also need her help to bring down her father, another known criminal. Barbara, though, recognises something within Cass that she sees in herself. A feeling… that you believe you’re broken… like something’s wrong with you. Cass has been trying to learn to speak since running away, but she’s really bad at it. The only thing she’s good for is knowing how to kill people. Even her friends. She feels like she’s a broken human being. Barbara for a while felt literally broken, due to her legs. Like she wasn’t good for anything. And even now, she sometimes feels like she’s only good for one thing: sitting behind a screen. She takes Cass under her wing and she begins to teach her all the things she learned as Batgirl. Together, they both heal and learn to move past what they both thought they were. In the end, Babs becomes much for comfortable and confident in her new role as Oracle, and Cass redeems herself by becoming the new Batgirl. Steph also adopts her as her best friend/Batsister immediately.

After that, Barbara gets the idea to start the Birds of Prey (an elite squad of girl superheroes which she manages from her chair) and everything’s going pretty well for a while.

We get introduced to Luke Fox, aka Batwing, (I need to research his story more, soorrryyy…… there’s a lot of charactersssss)

Harley Quinn has just begun her redemption arc! Well, I mean, I will have been hinting at this for several seasons, but now it’s official. Now she’s coming back to the sane side.

Damian is finally allowed to go to school at Gotham Academy (though he insists that he always arrive via helicopter. He accepts no substitutions), and while we’re talking about Damian, let’s see how he’s doing with the whole “murder” thing. He’s, uh… not as bad as he was when he first arrived… so that’s good. But at the same time… he, uh… he still has some room for improvement. He’s got a little bit of a temper, he’s still stuck-up, and although he’s able to follow Batman’s no killing rule, he does still plan to go back to his old ways as soon as his time with Bruce is over. His destiny is still to become the new Demon’s Head and rule the New World, remember? BUT THEN…

The grande finale of season 7. His name is Heretic… and he’s a bad dude. So bad, in fact, that he manages to kill Damian. HOWEVER… that is not where the finale ends… it’s only just started… no cliffhangers this time. Bruce, naturally, does not take this death well, but he’s also not going to crumble this time. This time, he knows it’s possible to bring Damian back, and he will go to the ends of the Earth to make that happen. He pursues every single conceivable avenue available to him, and he Does. Not. Rest. until he brings his son back to life! The other Batkids are there too, helping, and together, they manage to save their little brother. (I forget how they do that in the comics just now, I’ll come back and edit this later XD) Anyway, this is the second most crucial moment in Damian’s life. Now, he has experienced what it’s like to die… to be on the other end of a sword… and he’s moved by the fact that not only his father, but his entire adoptive family (who’ve famously hated him), all came together to save him. It completely redefines his definition of love and it opens up an entirely new feeling for him: empathy. From this moment on, he doesn’t even try to take another life. He’s starting to think that maybe he doesn’t want to.

Oh, and also, Starfire’s pregnant! 🎉

Part 8 👇

Part 6 👇

[kiragecko]

Other people are allowed opinions, but does one count as a Tim fan if Tim&Dick aren’t the favorite team? I’m not so sure! (Technically fine one can, but. It does seem wrong.)

I think we might be OLD fans. Pre-Red Robin, it would be hard to read about the Batfamily without centering those 2. They kind of WERE the Batfamily. Cass had just joined, Jason was pretty insistent he wasn’t coming back, Damian wasn’t there. If you wanted siblings, they were your option, and they were AMAZING.

Dick had put so much work into gaining Tim’s trust and getting him to open up. He’d taken a kid who was almost completely self reliant and self-contained, and taught him to call when he was feeling depressed, or wanted romantic advice. Dick called him little brother, and ruffled his hair, blindfolded him to ride on trains, and teased him about rats as the wriggled through sewers. Dick went to Tim’s Young Justice parent-teacher interview!

Tim, on the other hand, was so good at being quietly supportive, and limiting the amount Dick isolated himself. He’s the only Bat that regularly went to Bludhaven, to provide Nightwing a patrol partner, and Dick a movie buddy. He talked with Dick about things that were bothering his older brother, and then backed off if Dick asked - both of which are unusual in Dick’s life.

They were siblings in a way that we don’t get a huge amount of in media. Neither was a kid, the relationship wasn’t full of cuddles and proclamations of affection (despite fandom), it wasn’t loud and full of fighting. Neither was a stand-in parent (though they both tried, at times). Dick was allowed by the narrative to mess up, to fail Tim multiple times, without being a “bad” big brother.

They’re the reason I got into the Batfamily.

-

I think Young Justice or Teen Titans fans could probably love Tim without realizing he isn’t himself without Dick Grayson. And no one in the last decade has any reason to think they’re anything special together.

Also, the Red Robin Series of Incidents seems to have resonated really deeply with a lot of fans, and their issues with their own siblings. I can’t really imagine a sibling relationship where I can’t talk things through, and help my younger sibling heal, but I’m aware that there are a lot of relationships that aren’t the same. There seem to be a lot of fans who find Dick’s actions unforgivable.

Dick and Damian are now a much more prototypical (media) sibling relationship - media LOVES relationships where one side spends most of their time being perfect so the other can heal, and only struggles where the other can’t see. I can see why. I want someone like that in my life sometimes, too.

Cass managed to claim a large part of Tim’s heart very quickly, and I’m really happy about it.

Jason has been given a lot of work by the fandom, and has multiple interesting sibling relationships because of it. I’m fascinated by what Tim and Jason could be.

There are so many possibilities, now! It’s great.

I just wish modern fandom had seen enough of Dick and Tim that they could see that The Series Of Events After Bruce’s ‘Death’ wasn’t all these two were. That they knew enough about (my interpretation of :P ) old Tim to understand that Tim doesn’t hold those kind of grudges. (It’s actually one of his weaknesses.) That they understood that Tim built a lot of his identity on a foundation accidentally set by Dick, and after finding out, Dick chose to make that foundation stronger, and that they built something strong enough to survive almost anything.

[anothertimdrakestan]

Batfam Reactions To Watching Avatar The Last Airbender

req: “Hi I was wondering if you could write the boys reactions to watching Avatar: The last airbender for the first time?” (anon)

YES! THIS IS TOO CUTE!

- long story short, Dami got hurt during patrol and to make sure he didn’t sneak out the entire family had to settle in for a movie night

- you made the epic recommendation to watch ATLA and yall basically binge watched it for a week while Dami healed, here are each of the boys reactions

Damian

- this mfer grumbled that it was stupid and gave Katara shit for being a bad waterbender at the beginning, especially the first episode

- he was hardcore crushing on her at the end specifically her fire nation outfit and that she learned how to blood bend, he’s a simp for powerful women what can i say

- during the first season he was pretty stoic and annoyed, blame it on the painkillers

- second season he was gettin’ into it, flinching with the epic fight scenes, calling himself the batfamily Toph, he let a rogue tear slip during leaves from the vine and no one noticed but you and Dick

- he got extra cuddles that night

- he lost his fucking shit during appas lost days- like full on screaming about appa and burrying his head in your chest while you quietly tell him appa will be okay

- he denies all of this too this day though (of course) but he loved it, and you’ll hear him humming leaves from the vine when he thinks his comm is off now on patrol

Cass

- she wasn’t really paying attention to the show at the beginning,  more soaking in the family bonding moment and spending each night sitting next to a different person to understand more about them

- she liked watching tim because he gets really into it but steph is also a fun watching buddy because her reactions are sooo intense it’s like watching a movie watch a movie

- a month after showing Cass she came up to you with all these epic fan canon ideas for the future or the past, talking about what the avatar state meant and spewing crazy little facts you thought no one noticed

- turns out it’s her comfort show now, she watches it to remind her of Jason’s shitty sex jokes, Dick’s screeches, you’re silent tears, Babs failed plot predictions, and everything else from the week were for one you were all just kids

Tim

- For some reason I just think Tim’s seen it before

- he’s your buddy for laughing at his sibling’s reactions when you both know what’s coming

- the giddy smile he gives you before Katara does the epic water frozen save on Azula or Aang yeets into the avatar state

- him and cass are your lore buddies, you’ve all got all these crazy awesome ideas about the plot and what-not

- Tim crushes on Zuko hardcore, like that scene where he throws off his robe Tim’s cheeks are completely flushed, eyes stuck to the screen and you’re dying laughing

- sometimes you’ll come into the batcave and tim will be working while ATLA plays in the background and you’ll both silently rewatch it together making little quips about a funny moment from when the family watched it together it’s all so wholesome

Steph:

- Steph is a Sokka simp and you can’t tell me otherwise

- she’d pass out when his hair is down and everyone would roll their eyes

- she’d buy a boomerang for patrol and bruce would give a hard no but you can find her throwing it at shrubbery when bruce is out

- She also thinks Tai Lee is adorable and deserves the world

- “EVERYONE SLEEPS ON THE NON BENDERS OKAY SUKI COULD GET IT”

- “steph you came into my room at 5am for this?”

- steph honestly just says the thoughts we all have, when watching she’s totally immersed and falls for all the jumps and scary moments- her and dick are constantly being told to shut up while you die laughing at their reactions

Jason:

- dick basically had to chain him to the couch to watch at the beginning, he’d claim he had better stuff to do but eventually he’d be the one dragging people to the couch for the next episode

- would develop a bromance with zuko in season three

- convinced he’s a firebender and plays with wayyy too many lighters for a week to bruce’s concern

- thinks Mai is hot as fuck but claims he wouldn’t date her “cuz bro code” with his new imaginary best friend

- Roy comes by actually asking if he can meet zuko that’s how much jason talks about him it’s so cute

Babs:

- she’d slip in and out of watching while doing research or helping bruce during patrol, so she’d always sit next to you while you refreshed her during the episodes she caught

- she’d think aang was adorable and would try to convince dami to shave his head and get an arrow tattoo cuz he’d be cute

- she’d be the one to bring everyone water and sandwiches from alfie when you’ve all been binging for hours

- everyone needs a babs when they do a 3 season binge in a week, everyone say thank you babs RIGHT NOW hehehe

Dick:

- he’d be the one who got everyone there and he’d love being surrounded by his family

- granted, it was painful at first, giving constant death glares to dami and jason when they tried to get up and trying to get you to reveal plot secrets while you giggle, but in the end he was loving it

- he’d be crying 24/7

- when Mai and Tai Lee attack Azula and give the speech about loving Zuko more than Mai feared Azula he’s be screeching “GO OFF QUEEN YEAH SIS” while everyone tells him to shut up

- he’s a cabbage man stan and I love him for it

- his favorite season was season 2 because he loves toph because she reminds him of his siblings and he likes bumi and is convinced he’ll be a bumi when he’s older even though everyone tells him he’s such an iroh

- Dick would look back fondly on that week, surrounded by family who wasn’t fighting and could each have their own personality highlighted while all being together, he’d forever be thankful you brought up the idea : )

Bruce:

- it was a tough week for bruce, he hadn’t actually been alone on patrol for a long time

- it made it all worth it when he got to tiredly plop onto the couch with his kids

- he wasn’t watching the show he was watching them, the way they were invested in the show but also still took the time to bond even if they didn’t quite know it

- he got the best sleep of his life that week, passed out on the couch while his kids cuddled him, his white noise was Tim screaming at Damian and Steph babbling about Sokka, it was truly perfect. They were his family : )

I hope you enjoyed!!! Love you!

[bigskydreaming]

You're asked to choose one and only one or DC's future stops existing immediately. your choices:

1. Jason Todd the anti-hero who seldom works with only a couple of the bats he doesn't hate, for example Dick and Cass VS. Jason Todd who came back with healed body but broken spirit, folded back into the Gotham gang and learns to be part of the society again.

2. Tim Drake who makes all of his mistakes as canon but realizes he's been wrong and apologizes to people VS. Tim Drake back in his first iteration, a cute little brother character who is a reader insert and a fun teenager.

3. JayKyle VS DickKyle.

4. Jason Todd with a sword VS. Damian Wayne with a sword.

5. Chris Kent VS. Jon kent.

Okay but which DC future? Its omniversal future? Its hypertime future? Its multiversal future? Its Elseworlds future? Its dark multiverse future? Mwahahaha your threat is useless because the sheer wtf of DC's continuities, timelines and conflicting declarations of what to even call their multiomnihyperverse makes it impossible to target simply A future! DC's overly unnecessarily complicated nature renders it functionally immortal and impossible to ever truly destroy, take that Darkseid.

I mean. But anyway. Whatevs:

1) I honestly do prefer the idea of Jason someday fully reuniting/reintigrating into the Batfam as a whole, because fuck it, the found family I'm here for is the one where they actually act like a family....I just think it takes actual work to get to that point and I get irey when people are like we're here! We found it! And its like meanwhile, abusive dynamics still abound. Mmm. No thank you. But even though I've been on a huge Jason and Dick and Cass kick for like, forever, I do still aim for him having a dynamic of his own with the rest of the family.

Like the thing is, I hate playing the favorites card in families, and I think the emphasis on so and so being Bruce's favorite child or so and so being this kid's favorite sibling, etc, like it really does feel like to the detriment of the whole family, because once you start validating the idea of favorites, ESPECIALLY in a found family that is CONTINUOUSLY growing....I think you're kinda shooting yourself in the foot because you're kinda creating a situation where either no future new additions to the family can EVER be Bruce or one of the kids' 'favorite' or else you're innately positing that said fave status is conditional and even a current fave of Bruce or a sibling can be bumped down the ladder by the addition of a later arrival....

Which is LITERALLY the entire essence of the eternal conflict between Dick and Damian and Tim fans. Its not even that Damian is Dick's favorite, allegedly, its that prior to Damian's very EXISTENCE, fans felt comfortable declaring Tim unilaterally to be Dick's 'favorite'.....and then all it took was the addition of a single family member who had specific NEEDS in regards to Dick's attention and focus, largely because of his age and needing a legal guardian while Tim was old enough to literally jet set around the world on his own.....and like, everything went up in flames in large corners of fandom.

So I'm just like, death to the fave family member myth, its just incredibly counter productive to the idea of found family as a whole especially when it usually only exists to prop up a preferred character as better than others via the proof of see, these other characters say he's their fave or whatever...but also like, its not even necessary?

Because the thing is, you can have Jason reintegrated into the whole family overall, and still prioritize your personal narrative FOCUS on characters you like more than others, like say Dick and Cass.....because of course its natural for even people in the same family to have entirely different DYNAMICS with different family members....and these dynamics don't have to come with a ranking system in order to prioritize which ones you just focus on more in a story. Because its not necessarily that Dick has to be Jason's fave brother, y'know, just for Jason to prefer spending time with Dick simply because he's more comfortable with him due to knowing him longer or being more secure in the idea that Dick doesn't judge him based on their greater shared history.

This doesn't mean that Jason doesn't care for his other siblings, that he can't have strong dynamics with them as well, its just about finding a reason for why these two specifically might be in a story without the others that doesn't demand putting a definitive ranking on which one Jason considers his FAVE. Just like Damian doesn't have to be Dick's FAVE just for them to have the super close canon relationship they have, even relative to the other siblings, because there's everything needed in canon already to establish that the mere fact of Dick essentially RAISING Damian for a year, and being the first one in the family to really take a chance on Damian, like, this lends itself naturally to them maybe more naturally gravitating towards each other than other siblings due to comfort level and familiarity, etc, but it doesn't have to be like....oh but yeah, I just like Damian more than you, Tim, y'know?

So my answer on this one is a total cop out of both, both is good. Jason totally reintegrated back into the family, but with dynamics that still lend themselves fairly easily towards story lineups where its just him running missions with Dick or Duke or any other one or two specific family members even if for no other reason than they gel together best in the field, y'know?

2) Hmm. I honestly really do love and miss 90s Tim Drake and just....don't see him in a lot of what I read these days. I'm like no, why did he have to go, he was doing so well! BUT I'm also on a big accountability kick, and like, I'm so steeped in fics where Dick GROVELS for forgiveness for every little slight he's ever done real or imagined, with every character but Tim in particular, so its like.....I'm not gonna lie, I really have a preference these days for seeing stuff where its literally anyone actually owning up to shit they've done to Dick and apologizing or groveling or making it to HIM, like, completely unconditionally. In the same manner we usually see Dick apologizing, glossing over any reasons he might have had for doing what he did or feeling the way he did, and saying oh it doesn't matter, putting the entirety of his focus on what HE did and why it was wrong no matter what and he's sorry.....that's what I would kill to see from more fics, just in reverse.

Because so often even in the all too rare fics where we DO see other characters apologizing to Dick for shit, its watered down with Dick volunteering that oh he messed up too, it was a two way street, and its like no! This is Pettiness Hours! I want the unconditional apologies! Give me the groveling! From anyone, I don't care at this point, lol, just show me characters actually PUTTING IN THE WORK to make it up to Dick for harm they've caused him, even if completely unintentionally or via neglecting his feelings or considering the repercussions their actions or words would have on him. Aaaaaaand, frankly, Tim's a good place to start there, because of how one sided all the takes on their conflicts have been for so many years. I mean, if people need a place to start, Batman and Robin Eternal gets enough praise it can't be pretended that people in fandom don't know that story exists, so how about some stories where Tim says he's fucking sorry for punching Dick in issue #4 or #5 of that one, and it was uncalled for and he was clearly just looking for an excuse to unleash some more of his resentment and upset for the Spyral/Forever Evil stuff, and family deciding that its totally okay to punch Dick whenever they're mad at him and need to work off some aggression so they can then finally forgive him (for now) is a trend that needs to die in a fire post-haste? I mean just as an example.

But the thing that kills me about fanfic trends is like....the sameness of so much of it. There's SO much room for variety and diverse takes, and like....I don't actually hate Tim! I'm just cranky because of the imbalanced nature of most content out there for literal years at this point. Push the pendulum BACK in the other direction, create some balance by showing the flip side of things.....and that leaves a lot more room for me and others of like minds to then be more amenable to - and even interested in - other stories that don't scratch this particular itch, but don't need to, because other stories are doing the scratching by then, y'know?

And THEN like, at that point, I would be ALL FOR more stories that are just callbacks to classic 90s Tim who I adore, with his skateboarding and his EARNESTNESS and his go-get-em spirit and also the gumption. All the gumption. I like that Tim. I do miss that Tim. But like, for the moment, like, I want accountable Tim because I am tiiiiiiiired of groveling Dick and tbh at this point its not enough for me to just see people move past putting Dick in that position and just have mutually respective and doting brothers Dick and Tim having adventures together......nah, first I want some reciprocation. Ngl. Gimme the apologies for actual mistakes actually made.

3) DickKyle. Easy question, c'mon, you gotta know that. LOL. ;)

But yeah, I've been shipping these two off their like, two shared pages from way back in the Obsidian Age story years before Jason even returned, let alone was in Countdown together with Kyle, so like, its no contest. I don't mind JayKyle, I certainly prefer it to JayRoy tbh, but there's not a ton of appeal in it for me, particularly in how its usually depicted, because like....the entire basis of JayKyle is that they DO have stories together and spent a whole year worth of weekly issues traveling the multiverse together in Countdown.....but there's like, practically no trace of their actual dynamics from that series or any specifics of literally any issue from that entire comic in most fics I’ve read, so its like.....idk, it tends to come across as more generic, not in the sense that it cant still be interesting, but more in the sense that it feels like just someone paired with Jason just because history between them EXISTS without any interest in exploring what that history actually IS....and at that point, its like, well there's no reason TO prioritize that ship over DickKyle for me personally, when like, I have a shit ton of headcanon reasons for why those two in a pairing specifically. *Shrugs* My logic. Its not for everyone, but it works for me.

4) Jason with a sword or Damian with a sword? I don't understand the question. Both. Both is good. All the characters should have swords. Swords are awesome.

5) Chris Kent vs Jon Kent - oof. I adore Jon, I really do. I love his dynamic with Damian, I love a lot of their specific stories, the parallels between them as friends and Bruce and Clark as friends....its all very bien. But I gotta give this one to Chris, because I'm always gonna have a soft spot for him because I'm a sucker for all abused kid heroes, and I just miss that funky little dude so much. There's so many stories we didn't get with him and were just ripe for the picking, but nooooo, DC's like lol you can't have nice things, here we just rebooted the entire multiverse and now Clark and Lois never adopted the son of Clark's worst Kryptonian rival and raised him with tender love and care awww does that make you sad, were you invested in him, WELL TOO BAD, HE'S GONE NOW AND BASICALLY NEVER EXISTED, NOW GIVE US YOUR MONEY ANYWAY MWAHAHAHAHAH.

Yeah. I'm still not over that. Probably will never be tbh, so I with great grudge-bearing do affirm that I'm gonna go with Chris on this one and like, he is a Priority for me and I'm still very keen on the idea of him and Duke being besties for random reasons that might not make sense to anyone but me, but eh, whatever.

[headcans-oneshots-and-stuff]

Really gone...

Warning: Again, super angsty, I believe that you will cry or at least will wanna cry. Sorry already Word count: ~1.5k Summary: Bruce was gone, not leaving a body or any way to bring him back, and you are left to pick up the pieces Pairing: Batman x Batmom

Requested by a rosey Anon: Okay, here’s my super sad request... okay so Batman dies while in Gotham (so the league doesn’t know) and the bat fam has covered it up so no one knows. And so at the next league meeting, one of the kids shows up (cause they are the new Batman you can pick who) and their all like what the heck who is this dude and they question him and he’s like ‘you don’t know? He’s dead’ and if you want you can add in a funeral part where all the kids are theRe edit: the reader would be the batmom

It felt wrong. So incredibly wrong. To see his suit filled by someone who’s not him..made the entire thing too real. He was gone. Really gone. It had happened before, but never like this, never without a corpse to bury. It had a certain feel of finality to it. At first, when after a week - that you had spent trying to keep the family together and help them grief, barely eating, and the nights crying for hours at pictures and memoried of Bruce, before sleeping for one or two hours - the league had notified you of a mission for your late husband you had wanted to just ignore it, but Dick had convinced you that that wasn’t what Bruce had wanted and that he’d go instead of him. You had agreed and even said that you would come along, thinking that it could take your mind off thing, but as soon as you saw your oldest son standing there in the suit you couldn’t go on anymore and broke down. You were more than glad that none of your other children were in the cave, you didn’t want them to see how broken you were, how his loss affected you. You wanted to be strong for them, but at the realization of the situation, you couldn’t be strong in front of Dick. But he understood, for a few minutes he held you as you sobbed at the feeling of emptiness in your heart and your life while soothing you before he told you to take the day off from everything and stay home. He told you that he’d take care of the mission on his own and be back in time for the public funeral the next day. The funeral. You had forgotten about that. Or did you just not want to be aware of it? It was unimportant as you knew that it had to be done. Even if the casket would be empty and public would never know that his end was in no way caused by a surprising stroke, it still had to be done. It would explain why the family would keep out of the media for a while until you were ready to fully take over Wayne inc. with help of Tim and things would change into a state that was supposed to be normal again. Even if it never truly would be normal again. Your heart would never heal. No one would ever fill the empty space that was left in your soul. While you went back upstairs to drown yourself in the sheets of your bed that you hadn’t changed since he had died - the smell making you feel like he’d come back any minute take you in his arms and tell you that it was all just a nightmare - before you had to put your brave mask back on and console your other children, Dick went to the Cave’s own Zeta-tube and took a deep breath, trying to bury his own grief not only over the loss of his adopted father but also over his mother who was so visibly suffering. He had to go through with this now, he’d get this mission over with and then he’d come back and help you through the funeral. It wouldn’t be okay, but it would be manageable. “Justice league headquarters,” he gave the voice command before the blinding light enveloped him. “Batman, there you-” a voice that he immediately recognized as Clark’s echoed through the room, but immediately stopped as soon as the transport was finished. He guessed that Clark realized that he wasn’t Bruce. A quick look around the room showed that it was only the inner circle of the league: Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern, Green Arrow and of course Superman. “What are you doing here? Where’s Bruce?” Superman asked immediately and narrowed his brows. The others also inspected him with wary eyes. Luckily for all of them, they all knew about Bruce’s real identity and his family. Dick had to swallow the lump in his throat. He wasn’t ready for this, but he should’ve guessed that it would happen. He had to tell the truth. Clark would know if he’d lie and to be quiet honest, he didn’t have the energy to lie right now. “He-” he tried to start but stopped himself with a sigh and the suit felt incredibly heavy all of the sudden. The way that Dick avoided their eyes and looked down at the floor was enough for the others to realize what exactly he was going at. “No,” Green Arrow - Oliver - breathed out and his shoulders fell, the look of shock and agony mirroring on all the other faces too. “What- What happened?” Diana asked and Dick noticed the way her hands were clenched together so tight that her knuckles were completely white. “I-I don’t know-” Dick sat down at the desk on the chair that was usually his dad’s and rubbed his eyes over the mask, “-I wasn’t there, none of us where. Only Y/H/N… They were on a mission, but she came back alone, she wasn’t able to tell us what exactly happened yet. We just know that he’s gone… and that it seems like he won’t come back.” A silence filled the room. They all knew how in love you and Bruce had always been, you were always the picture-perfect example that a relationship between two vigilantes could work. No matter what, you stuck together and supported each other. They couldn’t even imagine how much it must have affected you. “We’re so sorry,” Hal muttered and the others nodded in agreeance, they all knew how it felt like to lose someone so important and they all felt the stinging in they hearts themselves. “I think you should go back home, they need you right now, this mission isn’t as important, we can handle it,” Clark mumbled and lais his hand comfortingly onto Dick’s shoulder.

Dick had come home just as you finally made your way out of your bedroom to have lunch with your family. He caught you in the hallway and told you that it was okay, that you didn’t have to force yourself to put up a facade, that all your children were old enough to realize that you needed some time too. He said that he’d take care of his siblings as the oldest brother and that you could try to just concentrate on yourself for the night. The next time you came out of your room was the next noon when you had to get ready for the funeral. You gave yourself a last once over in the mirror. To be honest, you couldn’t care less what you looked like. It was your husbands funeral for god’s sake, but the media would be in the area - like they always were - and the last thing you needed right now was to be on every drama-channel in existence. You just wanted to get through with it. Once you were sure that there was nothing about you that could provoke a reason for the paparazzi to rip you apart, you made your way to the foyer where your family was already waiting. Normally you would be delighted to see all of your children, Alfred and Kate on one spot, but the occasion made it tear at your already fragile heartstrings. They were all dressed in black suits and in Babara, Cass and Stephanie’s case dresses. “Miss Wayne-” Alfred focused the attention of the room on you and you were happy that the black veil that was accessorizing your head hid your eyes well enough for them to not immediately see the despair in your eyes, “- Are you ready?” You took a deep breath and nodded your head as you arrived at the bottom of the stairs, a small trace of something similar to happiness filled you when Damian immediately hurried over to you and took your hand in his, clutching it like you could fade away any seconds. “Very well, if you’d follow me,” Alfred’s voice was so void of emotions. It was unusual. The way to the cemetery that was attached to the grounds of Wayne Manor, the place was Bruce’s parents were buried and where he’d soon join them, was silent and if it would have started to rain you wouldn’t have budged an eye. This was Gotham for you. Behind the fence, you could see the flashes of cameras and news-trucks, but that wasn’t what caught your attention. It was a small group of people standing off-side. You immediately recognized them. The tall woman dressed in a dark-red pants-suit, the man with his wife and son and all the other people. They were your friends, his friends. They were there to pay their respects and let you know that they were there for you. And at that point, you realized it, with your family beside you and your team near you, just because you were lonely, didn’t mean you were alone. And just because he wasn’t there anymore, didn’t mean that Bruce was truly gone. He was still in your heart, he was still in the hearts of the people who loved him. And that had to be enough because you knew that you would never get more than that again.

[sweet-sammy-kisses]

Stars In Your Eyes Chapter 1

For the @jaytimweek  Day 1: Space Pairing: JayTim Rating: Mature Notes: I had hoped to have this done completely but health and my muse wanting to make it longer derailed those plans but I love JayTim in space to much to quit. Warnings: One scene of suicide and talk of victim blaming. Summary: Tim along with his friends take to the stars for a "short" break and mission only to decide to stay. When the Outlaws begin looking for them it becomes a chase among the stars as Jason and Tim take on an interesting and unique way of flirting. You can also read it on AO3

After a fallout between him, Dick, Bruce and the others Tim had set out to prove that he could fly on his own only there were those who wouldn't let him, his true family vowed to be with him every step he took.

Staring out the window there were days that Tim could hardly believe that this was his life now. To see the stars and planets up close. To see nebulas colours twisting and twirling around one another creating sights to behold.

"These are the voyages of Young Justice, seeking out those who would harm the innocent and basically just be jerks. To kick some ass and save the day while looking awesome as we do it."

A long-drawn-out sigh escaped Tim as he heard Bart start to narrate their day again, "I should have never let you watch Star Trek." Tim muttered into his hand.

Conner let out a laugh at Tim's comment, "Dude, you made us sit through and watch Star Trek and Star Wars so we could see how epic they were and get our opinions on which franchise is better." Tim's so-called best friend reminded him.

And okay Conner was right about that once Tim learned that neither Bart nor Conner had seen either Star Wars or Star Trek he had made it his mission to change that and now he was regretting it so much.

Tim had hoped when he found Bruce that things would change, that Dick would take apologize for his actions, would want him back as his little brother. Would stand beside him and speak to the Justice League that he was wrong as were they for turning their backs on a teenager who had lost everyone he loved.

But none of that happened.

Tim knew that Dick had a lot on his plate, stepping up to be Batman as well as raise the demon brat but he thought that Dick had missed him as much as he had missed his big brother but he had hardly spoken to him.

That added salt to the open wounds Tim was still carrying. So when a Raven suggested that Tim take a much-needed break one that would do Kon and Bart good as well, coming back from the dead could mess a person up and it was best that they take some time to heal.

Plus no one was brave enough to say no to Raven, if she wanted you to take a break you would even if that break ended up being in a demon demission.

Bart still had his hidden space ship and Tim had seen how much Jason enjoyed being out here and it had truly helped him to control his pit madness.

It was supposed to be a two-week trip then they ended up helping stop kidnapping and then they saved a planet from being enslaved and then something else came up and now they had been in space for six months and none of them were in a hurry to head home.  

Somehow they had managed to become Space Vigilantes.

And as Tim glanced around looking at Bart, Conner, Cassie, Cass and Helena looking at home on the ship and then done to Dex-Starr that was purring away on his lap Tim realized that it had been years since he felt this at peace.

Jason had always thought that he was going to remain the black sheep of the Wayne family he never thought that his perfect replacement would tell Bruce and Dick to go screw themselves, give up his claim to the Wayne name and take off with his best friends into parts unknown.

Of course, that didn't mean that just because Tim was done with them it didn't mean they were done with Tim of course it had taken three months Tim returning to take Cass and Helena with him before it sunk in their "family" thick heads that Tim was serious he wasn't coming back. So when Oracle failed in hiding them they turned to their last resort.

A loud laugh escaped Jason as he stared at the face of his so-called brother, "You want me to help you find the kid that you tossed aside for the demon child who tried to kill him more than I did? Who from the moment he arrived used Timmy as his verbal, emotional and physical punching bag and to this day still does. You have got to be kidding me Dickface. Tim did the smart thing and the healthy thing to get away from that toxic and I ain't dragging the kid back to it."

Jason couldn't understand Dick when it had been him riding the pit madness and Talia's poisons whispers in his ear trying to kill Tim Dick had been protective and willing to go one on one with Jason but when it was Damian he was basically victim-shaming Tim into not being okay with Damian's treatment of him.

A sigh escaped a tired-looking Dick and Jason would have felt sorry for him if this wasn't of his own making. And if he hadn't seen the damage Damian's treatment and Dick, Bruce and even Alfred's lack of setting boundaries first hand.

Jason had been searching for Tim for a while. He wanted to make amends with the younger man. He had heard about the fallout between Replacement and the rest of the Bats but the last thing he expected was to see Tim standing on top of Wayne Enterprise's arms spread out wide as he took a step off of the ledge and let himself fall.

Jason could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he forced himself to go faster, he couldn't be late he had to catch Tim. Too much blood had been spilt and he wouldn't let another Robin die.

Once he had Tim in his arms did Jason remember how to breathe. Landing on the nearby roof Jason ripped off his helmet, "What the hell was that replacement?"

Haunted blue eyes looked up at him, "Why did you save me, Jason?"

At that moment Jason felt like he was back in his coffin.

The look in Tim's eyes and the lack of emotions still haunted Jason to this day and he might not be able to do much but he can keep Tim safe.

"Look Jason, I get that things haven't been easy for Tim but it is time that he got past his tantrum and returned home." Dick couldn't understand why Tim was acting like this and to make matter worse Raven and Gar were refusing to talk to him about Tim and about allowing Damian onto the team.

Frustrated that they were just going around in circles Jason ran a hand through his hair, "Look Dickie I  know firsthand what training with the league was right and I know the demon brat had it rough but until you set boundaries for him, ones that include not trying to kill his brother, or using him as an emotional and physical punching bag I ain't helping you find Timbit."

Dick fell to his automatic defence, "Damian has changed and Tim is older." He winced at the look not only Jason gave him but also Roy and Kory. "Look I know Damian can be a little much but he has changed so much."

"No one is denying that you haven't worked wonders with the brat but you are still blind to how he treats Tim and that isn't healthy." Jason countered.

"Also have you gotten around to fixing Tim's standing in the hero community or is he still called the insane Robin?" Roy spoke up he had experienced firsthand what it was like to be the black sheep of the hero community, to hear the whispers and judgemental eyes watching your every move waiting for you to screw up and he refused to let Tim go through that as well.

The wince that crossed Dick's face was answer enough.

A soft sigh escaped Kory as she looked at her one-time love, "Dick, there is no denying that you had much to handle when we thought Bruce was lost from wearing the cowl to raising an abused boy that you let Tim slip through the cracks. Tim had lost so many in his life in a short time that losing Robin, his place in the community and his big brother all at once has left deep scars that have yet to heal."

Jason and Roy saw the effect that Kory's words had on Dick as he looked ashamed, "He had me." Dick whispered.

"Did he?" Jason demanded. "Because I remember he had a big brother that told him a neglected and abused teen that he needed to take the kill attempts, the verbal and emotional abuse from Damian because he was older. Because Damian's horrible upbringing somehow made Tim invalid. That he as the victim should just take it because how dare he wants to feel safe in a place he once thought of as home with the people he thought of as family. Only to be tossed aside and ignored as he was repeatedly attacked. Until you can look me in the eye and tell me that you have talked to Damian and the rest of the heroes I won't be helping you find Tim." With that, Jason cut the communication with Dick.

Letting out a sigh Jason relaxed back into his chair.

"So what are we doing?" Roy asked.

They had heard rumours of a bunch of teens, teens that happened to match the description of a certain team of young heroes who had taken off for a mission only once it was completed they sent back a message that they were staying in space helping out others and they weren't that far away.

Opening his eyes Jason's lips curved up into a smile as he purred out, "We have a bird and his flock to hunt."

[douvle-eh]

these are the days it never rains (but it pours)

these are the days it never rains (but it pours)

Summary: Jason stays at the manor after an injury and learns a few things about Dick and maybe offer some comfort. Just Jason trying to be a good brother. Gen.

An: I love a good dad Bruce as much as the next guy but sometimes I also like to indulge in bad dad Bruce so….here you go. If you don’t like abusive Bruce (mentioned only) please don’t read this. Also don’t expect this to make any sense. My writing process works like this - I have random dialogue that pop in my head and at times it’s hard to make sense of what I’m trying to get thru but I just build the sentences around those dialogues.

 -----

It’s raining.

Jason watches as the rain blurs the view from the huge window. A flash of lightning races by, thunder comes a few seconds later indicating that the storm is passing, though knowing Gotham the rain would be staying with them for another week before it clears up to its usual smog.

He lets out a sigh. It’s bad enough that he got hurt in a routine patrol; it was worst that the bat brats had run into him during his struggle to crawl to his safe house and had gone ahead and snitched to Nightwing. The blue bird had forced him to go back to the cave and together with Alfred, they were able to convince him to stay the night or until he healed (though they all knew he would sneak away before then).

Honestly, he would have chosen bleeding out in an alley way to this.

He turns back to the room. They’re in one of the smaller living rooms (Jason still rolls his eyes at the luxury of the manor, who needs multiple living rooms? He never did get use to it) the room is a warm neutral color and consists of two large couches, a love seat and two armchairs (one of which he’s currently sitting on) all positioned to face the large fireplace.

It amazes Jason that everyone is here, and when he says everyone, he means even Duke is here and Jason feels more like an outsider than ever.

He’s tried his hardest to stay away, making sure that he never accidentally run into them but surprise surprise here he is, talk about the worst family reunion. And though the tension between them isn’t as bad as it was before, it’s still awkward.

Duke and Cass give him curious glances, Steph smiles at him when he catches her eye but he hasn’t spoken to them in who knows how long. Tim glances at him warily as if waiting for him to start something, and Damian glares his way whenever they meet eyes. Don’t even get him started on Bruce. The man hasn’t even given him a passing glance. The only one who’s at least trying to pull him in a conversation is Dick and he doesn’t care for the look Dick is giving him, like a puppy who’s head butting you to get your attention because he knows you’re sad.

God, this was hell, sure he’s no longer activity trying to kill them, but they’re far from being a happy family. No matter how hard Dickie’s trying to keep the family together, it’s just too much hard feelings and not enough effort on all their parts.

Besides, the manor brings too many memories with it. Everything pretty much looks the same as it did when he was younger save for a few new pictures and knick knacks. The furniture is the same, the set up of the room, even the weather is the same.

He still remembers the time he spent curled up on the couch reading a book during rainy days as the fireplace warmed him from the Gotham freeze. Bruce would be by him reading his own book and kid him used to hope that this could go on forever, that maybe after all that life had given him that he finally found a place to belong. He remembers looking up at Bruce and getting a smile back, he remembers…he remembers… fire… pain… betrayal-

Suddenly, he feels like he’s floating, like his whole being is just his eyes, like he’s just watching everything happening as his body becomes numb. There is a crushing emptiness in his chest and he has the feeling of being closed in, the room is too crowded, too hot and the voices start to mesh together.

He needs to get out.

Jason takes in a sharp breath silencing the conversation between some of them and is ready to stand up (screw his broken leg). He pushes himself out of the chair and sees Dick standing up ready to help. He shakes his head at his older brother and starts to limp out but stops when he hears a clipped voice from someone entering the room.

“I do hope Master Jason that you’re not thinking about leaving.” Jason turns to the butler (grandfather & caregiver) before he pastes on a smile trying to ignore his siblings’ questioning gaze.

“Of course not Alfie, just gonna walk around a bit, I mean what do you take me for?”

“The fact that you’re not even supposed to be on that leg, much less be walking around; I would say an idiot sir.” Jason grimaces as the younger kids titter at that, he really should have just stayed in that alley and drowned in the rain.

He sits back down and carefully lifts his leg back up.

Dick pulls out a table which Alfred lays the tray of drinks on. He looks at him with a silent question of ‘Are you ok?’ and Jason just nods curtly at him; he really didn’t need the golden boy fussing over him acting like the perfect caring older brother. He knows that’s all bull anyways, just guilt and regret working behind those feelings.

He turns back to the eyes staring at him and narrows his own ready to let them know where they can shove it, but before he gets the chance, Dick interrupts. The eldest turns back to his younger siblings and smiles as he heads next to Damian on the couch. The younger ones gazes automatically follow Dick to where he sits. Jason snorts, Dick Grayson - Ever the center of attention.

“Did I ever tell you guys about the time Bruce and I convinced the whole league that I was a ghost?” Dick starts and Jason sees the family perk at this. Steph stands up and walks closer to Dick, a gleeful smile on her face.

“Oooo, tell me more.”

Dick leans back and throws a hand around Damian’s shoulder, collecting his thoughts before he continues.

“Well, when I was eight it was my first time at the Watchtower and I wasn’t really known as Robin yet, but I was able to talk Bruce –“

“Beg.” Bruce interrupts while Dick rolls his eyes.

“Begged Bruce to let me visit,” he amended before continuing “Anyway, so I went with Bruce to the Watchtower, I guess you can imagine how a lot of the heroes viewed Batman at that time. He was the dark knight all grime, vengeance and ‘I work alone’ hero and suddenly he shows up with a kid dressed up like a traffic light with scaly underwear…” Jason lets his brothers’ story become his anchor as the feeling in his chest lightens and the memories slowly unravel until they disappear for the night. He watches as Dick talks animatedly, he has the attention of everyone in the room as he makes them laugh about his shenanigans and pokes fun at Bruce when the man tries to add to the story or correct what he thought was a mistake.

Jason knows it’s immature of him but as he watches Dick he feels a sting of jealously for the easy way that Dick Grayson could make Bruce relax while he tells stories that to them sound like fairy tales. He’s sure that all of his siblings felt the same jealousy.

Dick Grayson was a charmer, charismatic in a way that’s different from Bruce, more genuine. Maybe it’s his background as a circus performer or maybe it’s because out of all of their siblings he was the only one really grew up with loving parents. But Dick Grayson could soften rock and mold it like clay.

Dick continues with another story from his childhood with Bruce. A Bruce none of them really know. The one who read bedtime stories with funny voices, who readily gave hugs and kisses and sweet nicknames and one who showed that he loved and cared. Of course Jason can’t fault him for it though, Dick was Bruce’s first kid, and Dick had just turned eight at that time, meaning Bruce had him when he was younger than all of them, when he hadn’t lost so many people yet and still had enough light and hope and control over his life.

Dick knew Bruce at a different time, he knew a Bruce that none of them ever had the chance of meeting and for that he was sure all of them listen to his stories with a sense of awe and jealousy.

Jason knows that Dick regrets it, had spoken to him enough to realize that the other man blamed himself for it. He had once confined to him before (under the influence) saying that he felt that his failings made Bruce the way he is, that he messed it up for his younger siblings, that maybe if he had been a better robin, son or partner that there would have been more of Bruce left for them.

Jason wished for that too, but it’s not like him to wonder too long about that. He can’t torture himself about what he should have gotten from Bruce as his son; he let his life be ruled by that long enough.

Dick turns to him and smiles, his eyes bright as he basks in his siblings’ laughter and their questions.

Yeah Dick was just the lucky one, the favorite, the golden child - it was nothing against them.

 ----

 Jason wakes up in his old room and he’s surprised that he fell asleep in the first place. He stares into the darkness before he starts to get restless, he sits up quickly hoping to escape the memories creeping at the edge of is vision. Carefully he brings his legs down and pushes himself to stand wobbling only for a second before he’s limping out of the door. Jason knows that Alfred wouldn’t be too happy with him walking around his leg, but he can’t stand to be in his room right now.

He thinks maybe he should head for the kitchen to get a drink and see if they have any sleeping pills he could take. He hates those things but it’s better than roaming around the manor like a sad ghost. God wouldn’t that just complete his night.

He’s in the hallway but stops when he hears voices from the study. The door is cracked open and the voices are soft enough that he can’t really understand the words. Quietly he peeks in and realizes that the owners of the voices aren’t exactly in the room. Even with a broken leg Jason is able to skillfully lighten his footsteps and quietly push the door open. The study is empty but he can hear the voices a little bit clearer now.

When he steps in, he realizes that the grandfather clock that hides the cave is open and as he gets closer he can finally hear the voices. It’s Dick and Bruce, he sticks close to the wall as he tries to make sense of their argument.

Really he’s not surprised, Dick and Bruce had always had arguments, seems like they never really grew out of it. He should probably leave, it’s not like he never heard it all before, it usually had Dick trying to talk some sense to Bruce and Bruce arguing that he was wrong. He tries to turn when he suddenly hears his name.

“You need to get over yourself Bruce, Jason is up there and you can’t even say a single word to him. He’s taken the steps, he’s slowly opening up to us, but you have to do your part. You’re his father.”

“He doesn’t want to talk to me.” Bruce answers gruffly and Jason realizes that Bruce’s voice sound almost … distant. This wasn’t Bruce Wayne talking, this was Batman.

“How do you know? You’ve never spoken to him.”

“I’ve tried” Jason wants to snort at this; really he couldn’t have guessed with the way that Bruce has been acting all night, “it doesn’t end well.”

“Well, were you listening? And I mean really listening, not telling him what or how to feel or pushing your morals on to him.”

“He needs to understa-“

“He does, he’s trying!” Dick interrupts, his voice rising and Jason can just imagine him running a hand thru his hair in exasperation. “He hasn’t killed anyone in a while; he’s been using rubber bullets, he’s been curbing his anger even I can see it and I…I don’t know what you want from him Bruce.”

“He knows what I want.”

“No Bruce, he doesn’t and right now I don’t think even you know what you want. You’re just afraid.” There’s a silence between them and Jason slowly moves his leg to ease the weight, he thinks maybe they were done before Dick whispers out “You haven’t changed one bit from when I first met you.” Jason sucks in a breath as he hears the weight of disappointment and he’s confused. What did Dick mean that Bruce hasn’t changed?

Bruce is confused too and asks “What?”

“You’re still that same person from when I was eight. When I just lost my parents and you took me in. Don’t get me wrong you were great, you helped me and loved me and you were what I needed. You gave me a reason to go on but there were times when I felt like I was the one taking care of you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I tried my best.”

“I know you did but I quickly realized that I had to deal with your emotions that you never dealt with when your own parents died and…and maybe the reason why we got along so well when I was a kid was because to me it felt like we were just two kids in a big house who understood each other because of our shared tragedies. But the moment I started to move on and leave my hurts behind I realized that you never would.” Dick voice sounds exhausted as he continues, “I was growing up but I still felt like I had to be there to support you. I had to become the adult for you, and I’m still doing that Bruce. Anytime there’s a situation where you can’t handle emotionally you start pushing people away. You’re so afraid of losing them and I have to come here every time to fix your relationship for you and to tell you how to deal with it. I’m just so tired - mentally, emotionally I was spreading myself so thin just so you could feel better about yourself.”

“I never asked.”

“Oh of course not...you would never ask for help, you’re so afraid of loving those kids Bruce but they already love you. God they would do anything for you and so would I, but I’m not going to let you take advantage of them and raise them the way you raised me. It’s too late for me because I can’t refuse you anymore, but I can fight for them. I know what it’s like to be at the end of your disappointment Bruce, you’ve brainwashed me into a pathetic robot that needs your love and approval.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is, you don’t know how much I’ve given up or done just to get your approval Bruce. My job, my friends, my own team,” At this Dick’s voice gets a little desperate  as Jason leans more heavily on the wall next to the clock, “What more do you want, what more does Jason have to give up, he already gave you his life!”

“Get out.” The voice growls out and Jason steadies himself ready to leave just in case Dick come ups.

“No, this is what I mean Bruce, the minute I try to make you face your own emotions and-“

“I said get out!”

“-start acting like a father for once-“

“Leave!”

“No!”

“Get out before-“

“Before what?! You hit me again?!” Jason feels himself freeze at that, no, that’s…that not what Dick meant, sure Batman had beaten Jason before, but that was before he knew who he was and was pit-crazy. Jason is sure Dick didn’t mean that Bruce would hit one of his kids for no reason, he’s not like Willis. Bruce was always supposed to be safe. But Dick continues “…because you can’t control me or because you don’t want to hear what I have to say? Go ahead, blame me for everything! Hit me! You know I’m pathetic enough to come crawling back asking for forgiveness so just do it!”

Jason waits, his heartbeat pulsing in his ears as he prepares to intervene, he waits for a slap, a punch, anything. He knows that if Bruce did lay a hand on Dick that he would run down the cave and throw his own fists in even if he has to crawl down.

“That…was a mistake.” Bruce finally answers and he hears a short laugh, bitter filled and mocking.

“Of course it was, the first time.” Then in a tired voice he adds, “and I’ve forgiven you for all of them Bruce.”

Suddenly Jason feels so betrayed, not just by Bruce but by Dick too. Dick always tried to get them to talk, to open up, and to make sure that they didn’t end up keeping things inside so it didn’t eat them up or destroy them. He made sure that Bruce was treating them ok and told them to come to him should they feel the need too. Yet he hid in the dark his own troubles, and Dick for years had preached to them to heal and in shame he had wiped up his tears with a smile and hid ugly bruises and bloody lips in the dark shadows of their broken family.

Again he thought about what he had been jealous of Dick about. Yes, Dick knew a Bruce they didn’t, a Bruce who had less control of his anger, whose parents’ death still felt fresh especially after taking in Dick, and whose life for years had revolved around the mask and nothing else. Bruce had to learn to open up again and his mistakes left their mark on his oldest child.

The silence stretches and Jason wonders now if they’re done. He wonders who will leave first, Dick or Bruce? The answer doesn’t surprise him when Dick starts once again.

“Bruce…” the voice beseeches softly and Jason knows even after all that Dick is the one reaching out for forgiveness. Jason doesn’t think he can handle this anymore, he flees. Quickly he wobbles out of the study, he goes back to the hall way and finds his way to his room, the conversation still tearing thru his mind.

God he hates himself. He knows that Dick and Bruce never had a perfect relationship; he was there front and center for most of their fights when he was a kid. And just like how Dick knew a different Bruce Jason knew a different Dick, he wasn’t always the perfect brother; he remembers when he was an angry teen, one who had felt betrayed after his mantle had been taken from him. He remembers the glare that Dick had given him looking like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. And he remembers the Dick Grayson who didn’t want nor care for that title of older brother.

He gets to his room and steadies himself on the nightstand as he sits on the bed. He grabs at his head pulling the strands of his hair, damn it damn it damn it.

He shouldn’t have listened in, he was perfectly content to imagine that Dick and Bruce had a great relationship and that everything had worked out after he died, because if not…what does that mean for him and the rest of his siblings? That if the golden child of the family couldn’t get approval from Bruce, was all their efforts and sacrifices all for nothing? Was his death all for nothing?

“Jay?” Jason turns to the door where Dick is peering at him, the light from the hallway shadowing his face.

“Knock.” He grits out and the older man tilts his head and even though Jason can’t see his face he knows that he probably has that damned look of his again.

“I did. Can I come in?”

“’sa free country.” Dick takes a moment before he walks in and sits on the bed by him.

“Nightmares?” Dick asks and Jason wishes it was. Nightmares he could deal with.

“Yeah sure.” There’s an awkward silence between them, Jason doesn’t know if Dick knew he had heard his argument with Bruce, so he asks. “What are you doing up?”

“Just…checking on everyone, Tim has a bad habit of staying up way past when he should and Steph and Cass sometimes gets the idea of baking in the middle of the night with Babs on the phone.”

Jason turns to look at the man and tries to imagine the bruises on his face. Imagines his excuses and his smiles and his avoidance of any questions about them with practiced ease, and they as non metas are used to making excuses for unexplained bruises.

Jason wonders how Dick could handle it, being in the presence of his abuser. How can he smile and joke and trust the person who’s beaten him down and made him feel less…but in a way he can understand. Bruce wasn’t someone you could easily leave and forget. Bruce could bring people together, push them to do their best and light up their passion to fight for something. He left you feeling like you could own the world, but the minute you turn to him for approval he stares back at you like you haven’t done enough so you push on, dragging your broken body and splintered mind begging for another chance.

Dick wasn’t wrong, Bruce had a way to make you feel pathetic. Hell, he was only with Bruce for a few years and he’s still chasing after the guys love and approval, he couldn’t imagine being under him for almost two decades and living thru all his drama and trying to make sense of his messed up emotions. Let alone managing it and trying to piece out the puzzle of his psyche so it could be presented as normal for others so no one else had to deal with it.

“Jay?” Jason looks into concerned eyes and realizes that he hasn’t said anything, “did you…want to talk about it? It may help.” Jason holds himself back from laughing mockingly at this, Dick was the biggest hypocrite. Yeah, talk about it; it’ll help Jason and all the while Dick tightened the reins on his own problems.

He thinks about taking the things he’s heard from the cave and just throwing it back on Dicks face, start yelling at him for his idiocy until he’s hoarse and shake his shoulders to get him to spill everything.

He wants to punch him in the face (and sees the irony of that) and tell him everything wrong with what he’s doing and if it had been him a few months ago he would have. Just let him have it and damned the consequences.

He knows that people see him as nothing more than a muscled wall of anger who doesn’t think and who lets his fists and guns do all the talking but Jason wasn’t just a bomb waiting to happen (barring the first few years after his resurrection). Many seem to forget that he was reasonable too. He was level headed enough and could fix a problem without his guns. Otherwise he would never make it as a respected crime lord or a vigilante that could hold candle to Batman himself.

So he tries a different tactic, maybe bring up his past and lay down a picture for Dick to compare to, or at least see how deep this rabbit hole went.

“I never really knew my dad.” He starts, trying to sound nostalgic, “He was in and out of prison most of the time.” Dick scoots closer and Jason sees him getting ready to comfort, his eyes are open and sad and Jason wonders how many times Dick has lent a shoulder to someone that his actions right now is automatic, that in just a few seconds his face and his eyes soften to look caring and empathetic.

“But when he was around … well it wasn’t bad, I mean it wasn’t like some other kids in our neighborhood. Just a smack here and there for talking back or not doing what he asked. He broke my wrist once, but …” He glances at Dick and he sees him nod understandingly urging him to go on.

“I deserved it.”

“No Jay,” Dick shakes his head, anger in his eyes and Jason can see how strongly Dick feels about it, “no one deserves that. That’s abuse, he had no right to hit you.”

Jason nods slowly; at least he knows Dick knows abuse for what it is.

“Yeah? Did your dad ever hit you?”

“Never.” Dick answers with conviction so Jason chooses now to strike.

“Did Bruce?” At this Dick stiffens and realization dawns in his eyes, he knows that Jason had heard. Jason watches as suddenly Dick puts up a guard, something unnamed flashes in his eyes and suddenly he pulls back.

“That…that’s different.”

Jason is quick to answer now, “Yeah, you’re right. I mean it doesn’t matter if he’s smacked me a few times then right? Or Tim or Damian?” Dick’s face suddenly looses all color before his jaws tighten and his hands ball into fists.

“That’s not fair.”

Jason laughs bitterly.  “What’s not fair? That I’m calling you out for playing the martyr again?”

“I’m not-“

“Oh fess up, you don’t get to act like a self righteous prick and talk about how Bruce can’t face his problems when you’re doing the same thing.” They’re quiet again and Jason wonders if anyone else can hear them. He can see Dick’s hands shaking and he feels enough pity to give him a way out. “Fine, tell me this, the times that Bruce hit you, was it when you were in costume? Cuz, hey, I can understand that, it comes with the territory, but Bruce has no right to hit you outside of it.”

The silence is all that Jason needs to hear for an answer and he feels his blood boiling. He wants to ask, ask what led to Bruce hitting him outside of their costume, ask what he said and what he did that made him think he warranted Bruce’s fists, but as he stares at Dick he knows he won’t get an answer. Dick Grayson would rather die with his secrets than ruin any semblance of peace he has found between them. And Jason thinks maybe Dick is trying to do him a favor by not telling him.

“He didn’t mean it.” Dick whispers and they both know how that sounds.

‘They didn’t mean it’

‘They were just angry’

‘It’s my fault’

‘They promised it won’t happen again.’

It’s the loud slam of his fist on the nightstand that makes them both jump. Jason didn’t even realize how deeply he’s breathing, but he can’t help it, if he hears another excuse from Dick he’s gonna stand up and start screaming and wake the whole house. He’ll throw everything down and tear it all raw and all the anger and darkness in their family would be splayed on the floor. But he knows if he does that Dick would never be the same, no matter what anyone says Dick has been the main reason that their family is surviving, he’s filled the holes, hid the secrets, soothe the hurts. He’s given his blood, sweat and tears into making it somewhat functional. It wasn’t perfect, he failed many times (and Jason can’t help but be bitter about the fact that he’s one of those failings) but he also did a lot of things right. He never gave up on any of them and to tear it all down now would break him, because Dick was the heart of this family and the family was his heart.

And for all of Bruce’s flaws and secrets Jason knows he cares for them, either because they were useful to him or because they fit in his agenda of saving Gotham in a never ending mission. He can’t help but feel disgusted by the fact that he cares about Bruce too, that even with every secret that’s being ripped open showing Jason how messed up he is, Jason still cares.

But…he can’t let Dick keep doing this to himself, keeping those secrets. Hiding the emotional, mental and physical bruises. Someday Dick will break under that and the family will follow right after. He knows it isn’t much, (too little, too late) but he may keep the family from falling apart just a little longer.

“Promise me,” he looks Dick right in the eyes because he wants him to know that this isn’t arguable, “if Bruce lays a hand on you again that you come to me.” Jason finalizes what he has to say to make sure that Dick understands, “And if you don’t and I find out, I’m done. I’m out of this family.”

Dick tries to read his eyes while surprise, confusion and hesitance shine back in his own. The array of emotions doesn’t surprise Jason, he’s been slow to fixing his relationship with the eldest. And he’s been guilty of leaving everything to Dick when things go south, ignoring his pleas and outstretched hands when he needed help so much so that Dick learned to do things on his own while barely keeping himself a float. He figured out how to come up every once in a while to breathe before being pulled down again.

So Jason tries.  

“I know that…that I may not be the first person for you to talk to and it might not mean a lot now since I haven’t been around but…“he tries to find the words, settles on the truth and aims to hit Dick where it matters, his sense of duty to their family “we’re the older brothers right? We protect the family. Together. It’s my burden to share.”

He can see Dick’s eyes shine before a fight starts in them, sees as Dick looks at every angle of his offer. Jason can slowly start to see the acceptance in his eyes but he also knows that Dick will always carry the heavier load on his own back.

“I’m not asking you to tell me all of your secrets Dick. Just like I will never tell you all of mine, I just want to be there when you deal with Bruce’s bull headedness and misplaced anger. That’s all I ask.”

Jason doesn’t know how long he waits, but he counts it as a win when Dick doesn’t automatically leave or smile it off.

Lighting flashes and the thunder echoes before Dick scoots closer to him. Before long he feels a weight on his shoulder as Dick finally lets himself relax even if it’s just for a little while.

It’s this that Jason realizes for the first time (at three in the morning on a rainy night in his old room surrounded by everything he left behind) that he finally feels like he’s part of the family. That along with his older brother they would keep the secrets together so that their growing family could someday find peace.

He lays his cheek on his brothers head and feels something expanding in his chest trying to lodge the ball in his throat out. No, this isn’t the time, Dick needs him to be the strong one right now.

So he pushes the feeling down and listens as the rain outside continues to pour.

END

Why can't we give love that one more chance?

'Cause love's such an old fashioned word And love dares you to care for The people on the edge of the night

And love dares you to change our way of Caring about ourselves

 This is ourselves under pressure…

 -       Under pressure by Queen/David Bowie

[fishfingersandjellybabies]

Abandoned - fic

Characters: Jason Todd, Ric Grayson, bits of Tim, Cass and Damian Summary: Ric was an only child. A man named Jay decided to remind him that, in another life, he wasn’t. A/N: Reminder Ric Grayson is one of the worst things to ever exist and the fact that they completely ignored what would happen with those really close relationships he had with his siblings is a bunch of bullshit. So here’s Jason word-vomiting for me. I wrote this in one go in the middle of the night. Sorry it’s garbage. The batkids were driving back to Gotham from some top secret mission and shit probably.

~~

Ric frowned as he stepped out of the bar. There was a car blocking his cab in the alleyway.

And that in itself wasn’t a problem, not really. Had happened before. What made it worse was that there was a man in a leather jacket standing nearby, leaning on a light pole, puffing away at a cigarette. Ric didn’t know why, but he had an intense feeling the man was the car’s owner, and that this little blockade was on purpose.

Ric huffed, shoving his hands in his pocket as he began to stomp closer. He didn’t really want to fight one of the fine folks of Bludhaven today, but would if he had to. He had fares to find and bills to pay, and this guy looked like one of those smarmy assholes who would drag out a stupid argument just out of spite.

As he got closer, the man glanced over, a sharp grin flashing onto his face in recognition. He popped the cigarette into his mouth and pushed off the streetlamp, fixing in his jacket. While he did so, Ric caught a glimpse of scars, violent looking ones, and even a few wounds still in the process of healing.

Ric blinked, and his stomach dropped in frustration.

One of them.

“Bruce Wayne sent another one of you, huh?” He snapped before thinking too much about it. The man snorted a laugh, running his fingers through his hair. Ric took note of the white streak near his bangs.

“Nah. If he knew I was here, he’d kill me actually.” A drag of the cigarette. “Again.”

Ric stopped in front of him, waiting.

“Ah, yeah. Sorry. Amnesia.” The man exhaled smoke right into Ric’s face. “You wouldn’t get the joke.”

“Doesn’t sound like it’d be funny even if I did.” Ric countered easily. “Mind telling me why you blocked my cab?”

The man shrugged. “Wanted to talk.”

Ric groaned, glancing to the skies. “Look, I’ll tell you the same thing I told that Barbara woman. I’m sorry I don’t remember whatever relationships we had before, but I don’t want to come back to Goth-”

“I don’t give a shit about all that. Don’t come back, I don’t care. It’s your life.” The man cut off. “That’s not what I wanted to talk about.”

“…Oh.” Ric pursed his lips, looking around. “Then what do you want?”

“I want to talk about…” The man seemed to think over his words. “What you else left behind.” Suddenly he gestured his arm towards his own car, directing Ric to look for himself. “I want to talk about them.”

Ric glanced over and realized that the man’s car wasn’t empty. There were three people inside, three kids by the look of it. Two in the back and one in the front.

The teenagers in the back could have been twins from where he was standing. Both with black hair and pale skin. Petite. The girl’s hair was longer, almost to her shoulders, but the boy could have used a haircut himself too. The girl smiled and pointed to something on the phone the boy was holding between them. The boy laughed too.

In the front passenger seat was a younger boy. He was also consumed by the phone in his hands, headphones shoved into his ears and sweatshirt hood over his head. His knees were curled up to his chest, and he looked like he was hugging himself.

He looked…sad.

Not that the two in the back looked any better. They looked tired. More tired than a couple of teenagers should. Concerningly tired.

Ric looked back to the man. “Who are they?” And almost an after thought: “Who are you?”

“…You used to call me Jay sometimes. So let’s go with that.” Jay said absently. “And they…are your siblings.”

Ric was already shaking his head as he looked back. The three in the car didn’t seem to notice them. “I don’t have any brothers and sisters. I’m an only child.”

“By blood, yeah. By found family…you’re the oldest of five. Legally too, technically.”

Ric looked back. “Five? There’s only three kids in that car.”

Jay pointed to himself. “You were also kiddo’s legal guardian for a few years, too. But that’s less important in the long run I guess. Kind of.”

Ric’s stomach was churning now. “Okay, so Bruce Wayne had a bunch of kids besides me. So what?”

“So…that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” Jay took another sharp inhale of his cigarette, seemingly steeling himself. Thinking. “Because Bruce is one thing. The secret cave and what we did down there is one thing. Don’t want to come back to that? Fine. Be as big an asshole as you want about it. I don’t care. No one does. Nightwing was a beloved hero around the world, but if it came down to the world having Nightwing or having Dick…Richard Grayson safe, not a single person would pick the former. Besides, heroes retire. Heroes quit. Heroes become bad guys. No big thing. It was wrong of Bruce and Barbara and whoever else to try to force you back into a role you didn’t remember.”

Ric waited.

“That’s one thing.” Jay repeated, and suddenly his voice was angry behind the cigarette. “But abandoning those kids is another.”

A moment to let that sink in.

“And sure, at first I thought I’d come here and say abandoning the people who love you was really shitty, but you know? A lot of people fucking love you and I don’t care about a single one of them.”

He pointed towards the car.

“But them? They adored you. Still do frankly. Especially kiddo.” Jay emphasized his point by jabbing his finger forward again. “You saved his life. You saved all their lives in one way or another. And even more than that – you loved them when it kinda seemed like no one else would. You gave a shit when not even Bruce did.”

Jay dropped his cigarette back between his fingers. Exhaled, and it was shaky. Upset.

“And I get it, I do. Leaving Batman? Easy. Leaving Bruce? Honestly, even easier. It’s not a life any of us should have or want and…you got out. Yeah, it was through getting shot in the head and forgetting everything, but. You got out.” Jay waved it off. “But what I have a problem with is that you left them and you don’t even care.”

“Because I don’t know them.” Ric countered, feeling his own emotions bubbling up. “How can I care about someone I don’t know?”

“Literally, you did all the fucking time!” Jay hissed. It seemed like he wanted to shout, but instantly turned it to a whisper. He glanced nervously at the car, and Ric realized – the kids didn’t notice them because Jason didn’t want them to. He didn’t want them to see Ric, or hear this conversation. “It was what made you…you. What made you special. Because it didn’t matter who it was or what they’d done. Even if you didn’t know someone’s name, you cared.”

Ric just stared. “I’m not that person anymore.”

“And I’m suspicious about that, because I’m pretty sure amnesia doesn’t change who you are as a core person, and Dick Grayson was no fake when it came to his heart, but that’s not what’s important here.” Jason snapped. The cigarette was close to burning his hand and he dropped his, squishing it under his heel. Immediately he pulled another pack from his pocket, along with a lighter. He shoved the stick into his mouth and lit it. “Because, okay, I can even forgive you not caring about some of the people around you when you woke up. Bruce, Barbara, even Alfred, maybe. Me.”

He paused, to inhale. Then exhaled the smoke, but into the sky this time.

“But they’re just kids.” Jay whispered, looking at Dick with some of the most pained eyes he’d ever seen. “What happened wasn’t their fault, wasn’t their choice. Trust me, if it was, that asshole in the front seat would have taken that bullet for you in a heartbeat, a goddamn thirteen year old.”

Ric let his hands in his pocket roll into fists.

“But this wasn’t their fault, and they’re the ones suffering the most here. Because, yeah, you’re not Dick Grayson, and you’ve made that clear. You’ve made it very clear you want no association with how the old you was, or anything he did. But they’re a bunch of fucking kids who have to convince themselves that their older brother is dead and gone and never coming back, but watch you be alive and well down here in fucking Bludhaven anyway.”

Ric found his gaze slowly drifting back to the car. The girl in the backseat had taken the phone now, the boy next to her leaning on her shoulder with his eyes closed. The little boy in the front hadn’t moved.

“And I take back what I said earlier. You being his legal guardian is important. Because you were like his dad, then. His motherfucking dad. You remember losing your dad. Imagine how it is for him to be forgotten and abandoned by his, while he’s still around out there enjoying his life?” Jay spit. “And Tim – you were there when his dad was murdered. When his best friend was. His girlfriend. One of the only ones there for him. You were there for Cass when she didn’t even know how to fucking speak. When she had no one but some parents who wanted to kill her. It was years ago, but how do you think they both feel now? How do you think they’re coping?”

“So what, are you saying this whole mess is my fault?” Ric snapped back. “It’s my fault I got shot and lost my whole life?”

“No. It’s not your fault what happened to you. But it is your fault how you reacted to it.” Jay answered coldly. “Avoid your old job. Avoid the people harassing you and trying to force you to remember something you can’t. But those three did nothing to you. They’re children. And you abandoned them without even giving them a damn chance. Without even attempting to start over with them or let them try.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Ric demanded. “What do you want me to do about it?”

“Nothing. I don’t want you to do a damn thing.” Jay shrugged. “I just wanted you to know.”

“Why?”

“So you know what you’re missing out on, being a stubborn piece of garbage who refuses to even acknowledge the people of his past, let alone interact with them.” Jay took a long inhale, and Ric watched the cigarette slowly turn to ash. “They’re good kids, Ric. Good kids you helped make. And now you’re mocking them with your mere existence and man. It just sucks.”

“And what am I supposed to do about it?”

“Like I said – nothing. Just wanted you to know. Barbara came down here and said her peace, so I figured I should be allowed to say mine.” He dropped the remainder of his cigarette and snuffed it out. “You mind going to your car first? I’m sure you’ve picked up on it right now, but I don’t want the babies to see you if I can help it. You’re still a bit of a raw wound for them, if you didn’t catch that.”

Ric stared at him for a moment. “…Tell the kids I’m sorry, if the conversation ever comes up.”

Jay shrugged. “I would if I thought you meant it, Ric. After all, Dick made it a point to not lie to them, if he could help it.”

Ric grit his teeth and turned towards his car without another word, making sure to keep his face in the shadows as he passed the windows of Jay’s car. None of the occupants even glanced up.

“Good luck with those memories and shit.” Jay called after him. Ric didn’t respond, and slammed his door a little harder than he meant to after he dropped into the car. He started his engine and rolled down his window, listening.

Jay was whistling as he walked back to the car, and jerked open his own driver side door.

“What took so long?” A young voice whined. Ric glanced into his rearview mirror to see it was the boy in the front seat. He hadn’t looked up from his phone. “I didn’t think destroying your lungs with cigarettes was an extended affair.”

“Was watching some old men down the street fight over a chess match.” Jay seemed to say nonchalantly. “Also had more than one cig. Excuse me if I don’t want to waste my supply, and enjoy the moment.”

The boy’s answer was cut off as Jay got into the car and shut the door. Ric listened as his engine started, and watched as they pulled away, freeing him from his temporary prison.

He threw his cab in reverse, dropping out of the alley and onto the road. He shifted to drive, and took off, ironically, the same way Jay and his crew went. In fact, they were at a light just down the block, waiting for it to turn green.

And Ric found himself frozen, blocking both lanes with his car, because the girl – Cass, he’d called her – was staring out her back window, directly at him.

When she’d caught his eye, she simply smiled, though it was clearly sad, and gave him a single wave.

Then the light turned, and Dick Grayson’s siblings disappeared around the corner.

[zayray030]

Do you even care?

Chapter Title: Let's talk about how bad we fucked up.

Chapter: 3/?

Summary: Everyone keeps trying to pin the blame on the other until Maya opens up their eyes.

“Put him on the bed. NOW!” demanded Bruce, cowl down and everyone could see the worry in his eyes and the distress.

Everyone looked down at the boy in the hospital bed in his school uniform and realised just how tiny Damian was. He looked like a doll that had been stitched way too many times and left to be thrown away.

“Who did this?” hissed Bruce, eyes narrowed into slits.

“Barbara sent me the footage on what happened Bruce. Their names are Adam Fisher, Normin Gah and Ranny Dlawn.” answered Dick, looking slightly ill but rage could be detected in his voice.

“Well their parents just lost a ticket into every Wayne gala and any business plans with them have been terminated.” said Tim from behind his phone.

“And they just got a very biased interview by Clark Kent.” muttered Clark. Sure he might not see eye to eye with Damian but that did not mean he wanted to see the kid bloodied up and bruised.

“Do you know what he said? When we came to pick him?” asked Jason after a few minutes of silence. The ones that weren't there turned and raised an eyebrow at him.

“What?” asked Emiko.

“He asked us what we were doing there.” and his voice sounded so surprisingly distraught for the big bad Red Hood before he continued on fiercely. “He said he thought a baby Hitler wasn't worth saving.” he hissed out the words baby Hitler like they were poison and turned to Jon.

“Kent?” Bruce growled out, sending him an ugly glare and Jon shrunk in on himself. Kryptonian or not this man was scary.

“I-I have nothing to say that could ever make what I said to him alright.” Hon finally said, head bowed down in shame.

“Mmh. What else did he say?” Bruce asked his son's and Wally after turning one last bat glare at Jon.

“He asked why we wouldn't be happy that we would be finally dead.” said Wally after a beat of silence when it looked like Damian's brothers weren't going to answer their father.

“Why would we be happy?” asked Gar, genuinely confused.

“He thought that we hated him.” said Tim distraught.

“We don't hate him!” Everyone present immediately denied but Bruce just shot everyone a glare.

“So what was that conversation earlier?” asked Bruce. Everyone had the sense to look ashamed of themselves and bow their heads down.

“I texted the rest.” muttered Wally and everyone could see the phone in his hands.

“Oracle already told the others.” said Dick, lifting a hand to rub his face.

“Why didn't he fight back? He has the skills to.” asked Gar.

“I told him not to use his strength against civilians. I guess I should have been more specific.” said Bruce, self loathing clear in his voice.

“No shit, old man!” snapped Jason.

“No fighting.” said Clark before Bruce could open up his mouth. Jason and Bruce just stood there glaring at each other until Jason turned away.

“What the fuck happened to Damian!” came an angry voice and when they turned around they came face to face with one angry Maya Ducard.

“Umm, who are you?” asked Emiko in confusion.

“Damian's friend. Now what the fuck what happened to Damian and who do I need to hurt?” she asked, turning a powerful glare at Damian's family.

“We're already dealing with them.” said Dick hoping to stop the girl's anger.

“Oh and how? Not do a business deal with their parents?” asked Maya sarcastically.

Tim blushed bright red and looked away. She turned and glared at him before marching over to Damian. “I called Suren. He'll be able to heal Damian.” she said shortly, taking a seat on the edge of Damian's bed.

Everyone just nodded at her and it was silent before more people began to enter.

“Hermano, what happened?” Jaime asked Gar.

“What he said. Is Damian okay?” asked Colin frantically. When he saw Maya there he calmed down slightly but still felt panic.

“Physically we will be fine.”

“And what does that mean?” asked Raven.

“Meaning God knows what those heathens said to Damian.” snapped Maya glaring at the pale girl.

“Okay, ladies. No fighting.” said Kori, getting in between the two girls.

“Why would Damian believe them though?” asked Wally.

“Have you seen Damian's self esteem? It's as low as him.” snapped Maya. “Why else do you think he stayed completely helpless? He would have fought back, no matter the consequences. But thanks to you dicks he instantly thinks you would all think that he's just an assassin.” she spat at the last word as if it was poison and everyone looked down in shame.

“But baby brother knows we love him.” said Cass softly.

“Please. It's amazing that we actually manage to convince him that he's a good person worth love. None of us help his mental state and honesty. I'm shocked he didn't stab himself.” she whispered the last part to herself but everyone still heard her.

“We have a shit ton of grovelling to do.” muttered Jason.

“You think?” asked Gar sarcastically. Before another fight could break out a bright light appeared into the room and a small black haired kid came out.

“Where is he?” he demanded and Maya just pointed to the bed. “Shit, he looks bad.” he muttered and held his hand out and suddenly Damian was encased in a white light.

When the light disappeared, everyone could see Damian looking as healthy as one could be. The stab wound was gone and all the bruises disappeared. Hell, even some wrongly lumpy places in his body were gone.

“Been practicing magic. Didn't mean to ignore him.” said Suren when he saw Maya’s questioning look.

“Better than me at least. I ignored him for a full year.”

“Well looks like we won't be the only ones begging for forgiveness.” muttered Dick.

“I'm sorry? You guys are going to be his personal slave for a month after this fuckery!” snarled Maya. Behind her Raven, Kori and Jaime nodded their heads in agreement.

“Yeah well you also princess!” Jason tried defending himself.

“Why you-” before Maya and Jason could start fighting a groan came from the bed.

They all watched nervously as Damian opened his eyes and sat up. “What happened? And why the fuck are you here?” Damian asked.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

Part 5

[eastonia-blog]

I’m going to do a weird.

I know a whole lot of us are stuck at home due to the COVID19 outbreak and all our respective governments attempting to flatten the curve. So I’m going to break out my VAST library of fanfiction recommendations for you to read! Please bear in mind that my tastes in fics are not necessarily like yours so the following 15 Fandom reccs might be hit or miss. All ships and above T ratings will be tagged with brackets, all crossovers will be mentioned in those same brackets. Also, if I mention it’s part of a series, I’m not just recommending the fic I mentioned, I’m recommending the whole series. I’ve tried to recommend a different author’s fic each time. So! Let’s start with the 3 fandoms I mention in my blog description.

1) ATLA Fate Deferred (Zutara) Aang remains in the iceberg ten years longer. Sozin’s comet comes, the world keeps turning with no Avatar to save it, and by the time he’s finally found by a waterbender and her Fire Nation husband, a lot has changed. [Zutara established relationship full series rewrite; Now on Book II: Earth]  Cheating at Pai Sho (Canon Divergence) “You said you were the Avatar!” “…I lied?” Aang doesn’t get rescued in episode two, and no one’s seen him go glowy yet… so he starts bluffing. Hard. Or: “The Avatar joins Zuko’s quest to find the Avatar.” In which Zuko doesn’t join the Gaang, the Gaang joins Zuko.  The Undying Fire: Blood and Fire (First in the Undying Fire Series, eventual Zutara) Book 1. In which rescuing the Avatar from Pohuai Stronghold doesn’t end so well. It’s a tough life being a banished prince trying to get home, especially when the Avatar just wants to be your friend and keeps making everything confusing. Oh, and did Zuko mention he somehow healed the kid? Yeah, that happened. Stalking Zuko (First in the Stalking Zuko Series, eventual Zutara) Katara has developed a new hobby. At the Western Air Temple she takes to stalking Zuko. Much silliness and shenanigans follow. In chapter 20: Katara and Zuko return home to the others. Katara hates the F word and she comes to a decision regarding Zuko.  Embers (Canon divergence) Dragon’s fire is not so easily extinguished; when Zuko rediscovers a lost firebending technique, shifting flames can shift the world…  2) Percy Jackson and the Olympians The Father (Percabeth in the GFFA, eventual Anidala) It all started with a wish, but because it was Percy Jackson it couldn’t have been a friendly goddess granting him a wish. No, it had to be Nemesis, goddess of revenge and balance. Now Percy and Annabeth are stuck in a strange new galaxy right when an ancient and powerful darkness finally begins to stir.  Glass Figures (MCU Mashup) I lifted my gun, pointing it towards the minefield of shattered fragments, and kicked the small coffee table out of the way.Only to stare down at an awfully familiar face, which split into a somewhat lopsided grin. The intruder raised his hands in a mocking surrender. //“Long time no see, dude.” //I lowered the gun. “What the hell are you doing in South Peru?” //Or in which Clint Barton and Percy Jackson have a long personal history that starts in high school. All Together, Cousins (Canon divergence) When Thalia ran away with her toddler brother, Jason, she slowly gathered her cousins: she and her cousins being Big Three children. As Jason gets older and their motley group expands to six, Thalia resigns herself to the fact that she won’t always be the leader of the pack. As she accepts that, something more is coming, able to challenge even the gods above. A Crown of Golden Leaves (Historical AU) Annabeth, a Lady from the declining polis of Athens, must marry the Heir Apparent of Rome to save the rapidly expanding world from a threat even the gods couldn’t foresee.  Deluge (Percy in the Arrowverse) Barry has to deal with yet another Metahuman that Zoom has pitted against him. But this ‘Metahuman’ is an unwilling pawn in Zoom’s plan and really wants to find a way around killing the Scarlet Speester. But how can he when Zoom is holding something against him? 

3) DC Firework (First in the Sparks in the Dark Series) Orphaned and removed from the only life he’s ever known, Dick feels like there’s no light left for him in the world. His new benefactor, however, still sees something worth saving… Chronological beginning of the Spark in the Dark series.   Iron, Fire, Mirror-Glass After a brutal confrontation with Bane, Bruce comes away with a broken spine and the certainty that his days as Batman are over. An unexpected discovery offers him another chance—but at what price? The story of a man who risks his soul for the sake of his mission, the dangerous creature he names Robin, and the unlikely partnership that will shape the legend of Gotham’s Dark Knight.  Get Back Up There was a mole, one who played a long game. The team was betrayed, crushed. Robin nearly died. What are they going to do now? Only one chirped the answer. Get back up. WARNING: lots of talking, little action, many follow ups  Five Times …Five times Damian thought of Dick Grayson as his father, and the one time Dick thought of Damian as his son. Future-fic. YJ characters will show up later. Batman!Dick and Damian as Robin. With guest appearances from Jason, Tim, Cass, and Steph.  Unveiling the Mystery Series of one-shots about the team learning a little about Robin (Dick Grayson).   With all the fics, I heavily suggest you also read what else these authors have to offer in their archive.

And now here’s the plethora of other fandoms I read fics in under the cut!

4) Harry Potter The Horse (Mature) Looking after a Muggle animal should be easy compared to saving Hogwarts from Voldemort. Harry and Draco might disagree with that. Featuring Luna, Marauders, peppermints and, of course, a tall, black, badtempered horse named Simon. The Potions Master’s Nephew An accident occurs and Professor Snape finds himself trapped in his fifteen-year-old body. Enrolled into Harry Potter’s fifth year, he is forced to hide his true identity. Girls, drama and teenage angst do not bode well with Severus. Keeping Up with the Grangers (Dramione, Mature) Mr. Malfoy, I invite you and your mother to tea next Tuesday, May 25th at 2o’clock to discuss recent events. Dr. Helen Granger //…  …// He glances at the boxy too-uniform numbers flashing on the face of Richard’s radio. It’s nearly noon, and he should be getting ready to leave; but there is still a harsh tension in his shoulders and neck that he wants to work out before Hermione finds him. It is, after all, Tuesday; and while his Tuesdays were designated ‘tea with Helen’ days previously, they are now ‘lunch with Granger’ days, ever since the chance meet-up with the Weasel’s wife and the insufferable swot herself. Faceless (Dramione, Mature) New year. New love. New threat. A powerful enemy is on the rise, and Hermione Granger finds herself intertwined in a relationship with Draco Malfoy – only she doesn’t know it’s him. / / RUNNER-UP: Enchanted Awards Summer 2017 for Best Relationship Development 

5) Devil May Cry And the Rest is Silence (Mature) The destruction of the Saviour wasn’t the end. Too many people had too much invested.  An Uncle’s Thoughts Dante’s thoughts and feelings regarding one particular quarter-demon kid. Vignettes that span from the start of Devil May Cry 4 through Devil May Cry 5, and beyond. Fortuna’s Fool Events after DMC5 with flashbacks to the events we briefly see in DMC4SE only with Vergil telling Dante all about Nero’s mother. Family ties are so complicated, aren’t they? Family of Happenstance Some orphans have happy endings, getting adopted or finding their family. Having a demon slaying half devil for a father tends to throw a tiny monkey wrench in the process. AU Father!Dante, Son!Nero. Rated because hunters don’t exactly have clean mouths.     

6) Power Rangers (Focus on Might Morphin’ and Dino Thunder teams) Of Love and Bunnies Set just after Dino Thunder. When Angel Grove announces another Power Rangers Day, Tommy takes the Dino Rangers to Angel Grove for a reunion with the original team… including Kimberly. TommyKim, JasonTrini, KiraTrent. The Reason (Part 1 of eclyptyk neo‘s Dino Thunder AU) COMPLETED. DT. AU. Years go by as Tommy Oliver becomes accustomed to his job as a teacher. A person from his past returns. The new ranger team grows interested in its outcome. How will these new changes between rangers young and old be? Sequel: Ordinary World Change of Hearts (Wild Force)   PRWF: When Jindrax and Toxica set out to find themselves, they had no idea that their greatest adventure was only beginning. Chronology Conundrum DT/MMPR - After a strange mutation is released in Reefside, the five Dino Thunder Ranges find themselves thrown back into the past, circa 1995 Angel Grove. Somehow, they have to figure out how to make it back to their present without destroying it or themselves. And if they succeed, they must navigate the consequences of their actions in the past, while still protecting Reefside. 7) Merlin (Mergana leaning) The Other Version of Events What if Merlin and Arthur had met when they were children? What if a mysterious illness fell over Ealdor and Merlin was blamed? What if Arthur had actually felt sorry for him? What if destiny was thrown at them in a whole new way? AU, no slash, Bromance, A/G M/M… You get the idea.  Flipping the Coin, Part 2 of Coins (2nd story in the Coins Sage but 1st multichapter) Merlin and Gwaine are sent on an adventure to discover their past and stay one step ahead of Morgana. Fearing for them, Arthur and the other knights set out to find them, but soon discover much more than they bargained for. Alt version Season 5. Sequel to “Two Sides of the Coin” Angst, Adventure, BAMF, Bromance, Redemption, Twists on Arthurian Legends.  The King’s Legacy “I hope you are rolling in your grave brother, I will find your son, and I hope he is like you. I will ruin him and gain a lovely weapon in the process.” Cenred spat on the grave, “I win Balinor.” .Sequel posted.  The Warlock’s Quickening (First in the Albion Cycle) Merlin might have come to Camelot to master his magic, not to end the Purge, but he’s not going to sit idly by while his kin suffer. Oh no. Whether it’s releasing a chained dragon, smuggling sorcerers out of the city, or trying to change Arthur’s mind, he’s fighting back. Now. Series rewrite beginning after 1X02 featuring Proactive!Merlin. AU. 

8) Dragon Ball Under the Radar (Gohan/Videl) Gohan is living life as a secret superhero, but Videl is making it her business to find him out! How will Gohan manage her and Saiyan hormones? Will he fess up? Or will he try to live his life -puts on sunglasses- “Under the Radar”? *applause* Thank you! Thank you! And GOODNIGHT! G/V obviously. Rated T because adult situations and language in later chapters. COMPLETE! Golden God (Mature) To save the lives of millions, Gohan is forced to expose himself as a Super Saiyan, proving that his tricks are indeed very real. And it drives the whole world to insanity. Warning; becomes a little graphic goes as it on. Walking Towards the Sunset Bardock’s curse sends him to a mysterious place where weaklings are abundant and an odd trio claim to be his family. Eventually giving in, he stays with them to discover that Earth is more unlucky than Planet Vegeta. Impatiently waiting for his son’s arrival, Bardock has to survive a new life with his estranged family and a certain girl set on finding the truth. (Saiyaman-Buu Saga) Plus One (Gohan/Videl, Mature) Tired of being pursued by the gold-digging, glory-seeking, Satan obsessed freaks of the world, Videl will resort to the only method open to a celebrity like her to find Mr. Right. 9) Sailor Moon (Mainly SenshiShitennou) The Crystal Age (Rewritten) In an alternate version of Season 1, as a result of Beryl’s curse at the end of the Silver Age, Tuxedo Mask and the reincarnated Shitennou are fighting a losing battle to save the city and find the lost princess. Sailor Moon has disappeared, Sailor V is working on her own, and the other Senshi are still just ordinary girls. Sequel to The Silver Age. MxU, SxS. Please R&R. Hooligans It’s after Galaxia and time for University. The Senshi and Mamoru settle into life in Great Britain and meet some old friends. Inner Senshi x Shitennou and Usagi x Mamoru. Modern Timeline. Strong language, crude humour, hilarity and sexual situations abound, be warned, there will be some heavy angst later on too. Never Gone R A single choice can change the course of Fate: a choice, say, like waking up on time. If that choice were made, Chiba Mamoru would never meet Tsukino Usagi; but, he WOULD meet Unami Seiya and the burden of Terra’s future would fall onto his shoulders. Never Gone AU. The Dinner Hour (Part of The Dinner Series) It can be hard to be patient in the face of eternity. But good things come to those who search and refuse to give up on their dreams. R/J. (Sequels: Dinner And Again, Dinner at Last completed!)

10) Les Miserables (Warning: Enjonine ahead) When Apollo Met Persephone (1st of the 1830s AU) The revolution, or at least the first part of it succeeds. Enjolras confronts political and personal realities. Eponine is suddenly faced with more opportunities than she ever thought. Can they guide each other in a world that needs them as much as they need it? Les Choses Qui Sont Arrivées Après “You must flee Paris at once.” Enjolras and Eponine. The thief and the leader, the marble Apollo and the dark street girl… two wholly different survivors of the Revolution are forced together under a dangerous circumstance. Can they successfully fight their demons as well as each other? Neither of them knows quite what is going on, or what will happen when they figure it out.     Teacher of Man The first time Enjolras and Éponine meet, it is their wedding day. (arranged marriage AU) My Best Friend’s Wedding Éponine Thenardiér always thought that Marius would eventually come back to her, until the wedding invitation came in the mail. Now she is going to do everything that she can to get him back from that blonde tart Cosette. Nothing goes according to plan and even her partner in crime Enjolras is becoming an obstacle. E/E. 11) Naruto Beginnings  Naruto was six years old when he met the man who changed his life. …Now he’s kind of just hoping he survives it.  An Inch of Gold (Part of the Legacy of Fire series) Team 7 is sent on a mission to investigate a disturbance outside of the village, where they encounter an unconscious girl in a crater. The mysterious Sarada insists she’s a shinobi from the Hidden Leaf trying to rescue her teammates. When the team discovers she possesses a Sharingan, things become even more unbelievable. [Part of the Legacy of Fire Series]     Guilt of Innocence Uchiha Sasuke abandoned Konoha in his persute of power to join Orochimaru. However, this was only a cover story. In fact, on Tsunade’s orders, Sasuke is to act as Konoha’s spy within Otogakure. One agreement and his path had changed forever…  Blind (SasuSaku) It was almost time, Orochimaru was going to take his body as a vessel. He hated being used…he refused to be used. With that thought, he took the kunai in his hand and slashed across his eyes.     

12) Legend of Zelda (Zelink) The Conviction to Save The princess is dead. Those are the words being whispered in the streets. A great shudder sweeps across the land of Hyrule as news of its beloved monarch’s passing spreads like wildfire. In the midst of the ensuing chaos, a humble village doctor happens upon the body of a gravely injured young woman on the road. Legend of the Miraculous (Concepts taken from Miraculous Ladybug)   A legend retold through many a tale, but when a darkness resurfaces after so long, Athena and Sheikhan Wolf must return again! Will Link and Zelda be able to combat this threat? and will they figure out each others’ identities? Come inside and take a look! Hit List AU. It all started as a typical day at Ordon High, until a sudden school shooting turns the life of Link Hero upside down. Now, surrounded by enemies, can Link save his friends and escape the school alive? (Edit 10/2015) Counting Stars Link finds himself caught in the middle of an elaborate gang war. Lucky for him, being a B-list superhero makes that predicament a tiny bit easier. / Modern AU ZeLink, inspired by Spider-Man. Under Revision! 13) Hunger Games Vox Libertas Due to things playing out a bit differently in the last few minutes of the Quell, the rescue also goes a bit differently than expected. Now Peeta has the responsibility of representing the Rebellion thrust upon him. No pressure. *AU Mockingjay. Part I of Dandelion in the Storm AU. Mainly Peeta POV.*     Someone To Watch Over Me (Everlark, 1st in the Series) A HG rewrite. What would happen if Peeta was just a little bit bolder, and Katniss a little less emotionally confused? You’d be surprised. Let the Games begin. This is an AU, but I’ve tried to stay as canon as possible. Rated T to be safe.     Enthralled (Everlark, Gadge, Mature) Thrall (þræll), n., a slave or serf in Viking Age Scandinavia. After a successful raid, Gale is rewarded with a slave girl: the Saxon noblewoman Madge. Meanwhile, shieldmaiden Katniss grows closer to captive monk Peeta. Gadge/Everlark historical AU with background Odesta and other pairings.   Katniss, Vampire Slayer (Mature) “Into every generation a slayer is born.” the man droned out slowly, quietly, in a way that made her think he was quoting something. “One girl in all the world. A chosen one. She alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness; to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their number. She is the Slayer.” //  Haymitch mocked. “One girl in all the world. Ain’t I just lucky it had to be you.” 14) How To Train Your Dragon Becoming Lífþrasir (Hiccstrid) People often wondered what kept Hiccup going during those early years. When that single, most-treasured thing is taken from him, there is little left to keep him on Berk. The day Stoick returns, and the day before the best recruit is finally chosen, Hiccup leaves Berk; little knowing that he would one day return under … strange circumstances. H/A, R/F, rated for violence.     HTTYD Easter Special Sequel to “The Unholy Offspring,” set after the season finale. When Alvin the Treacherous threatens Asgard with a rogue demigod’s help, Hiccup and Berk’s Dragon Riders must prevent an early Ragnorak. It doesn’t help that Alvin has learned to tame dragons, and that the only god that can help Hiccup is a sullen, suspicious boy named Mud. Happy Eos week, Hiccup!     The Blacksmith’s Apprentice (Hiccstrid) AU. Hiccup never took the shot on that fateful night-and the war continued. Three years later, Berk is beset by dragon raids and hostile tribes while the boy who should have saved the island is merely the assistant in the forge. With only Astrid as his friend, fate gives Hiccup one more chance to end the war and become the hero he was meant to be. Hiccstrid. Snap (Hiccstrid, Mature) He was just supposed to fix her back, and she doubted that at first. She definitely didn’t expect to get dragged into the ethics of a girlish crush. Modern AU. 15) Star Wars Double Agent Vader The one where Vader turned double agent for the Rebellion about three years after ROTS, and Leia is now his primary contact with the Rebellion. Or,  a man attempts to escape slavery by turning into one of his culture heroes, teaching his daughter how to do magic, killing people, and flower arranging. A New History During a heated battle, Dooku escaped into the past! Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker follow to stop him, but discover that Dooku went to the past where Obi-Wan is a young padawan to a very much alive Qui-Gon Jinn. Now, the two must go undercover to stop Dooku’s plans from coming to fruition in order to save not only the future, but also young Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn. Pulse AU for ROTS. As Padme’s life hangs in the balance on Mustafar, a stream of brilliant light causes Anakin to reconsider his choices. Jedi Shmi AU Shmi leaves Tatooine with Anakin and goes to the Jedi Temple.

[flamingo-strikes]

Talia Week: Day 1

For Day 1 of Taliaalghulweek, I chose the prompt “green.”

Now I just want to emphasize that this is all in an AU, every fic I write for this event. It’s my own personal universe bc canon sucks. In this AU, Bruce, Selina, and Talia (OT3) are together and raise their kids. Jason never died, and he goes to Princeton. Talia cut ties with her father a loooooong time ago, and she works at WE. She doesn’t really do capes anymore, but instead focuses on her family. 

ALSO this fic mentions Dev, who is an OC owned by @audreycritter!!!! Her fics are literally amazing, and I love Dev so much. He’s a part of this lil universe too.

Talia and characters besides Dev: owned by DC comics

Hope you enjoy!

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Green.

A color that forever haunted Talia in her dreams, her thoughts, and even the most mundane of actions she did. It made her wake up in the middle of the night, panting and breathing like she’d just run twenty miles in a minute. It made her pause for a moment, body going rigid, completely frozen before she went back to what she was doing, a forced smile on her lips. A color she could never escape, in her dreams and her nightmares.

Green was the color of insanity, in her opinion.

When she tried to think back to her past, it came in fragments. Losing her mother was something she remembered quite vividly. Everything between that event and the moment she made up her mind to leave her father, it was all a blur. She could only vaguely recall the studying, learning, speaking new languages, meeting new teachers her father would hire, and then killing said teachers. Other moments, she couldn’t remember so well. The times her father would hug her genuinely, or when she was sure he loved her.

The times before she became a tool to him, where all that mattered about her was her ability to produce a worthy heir.

The training, however, is something that lingered in her mind. She remembered every moment of it, the brutality she endured for so many years. Fighting until her body felt like it was about to break under pressure, her lungs burning in exhaustion. The metallic taste of blood in her mouth, and all over her body. The blows to her body that she took, before returning them ten times harder. It was like a cycle, spit, rinse, and repeat. Every second of everyday.

There were times where she wasn’t successful though. The times where she buckled under the weight atop her, and succumbed to her ending. The times where she wasn’t quick enough to block a hit, one that would fatally strike an artery. The times where a well-fought battle would end with her body laying limply, devoid of life. Where her world spun until everything went black.

Dying, as her kids would put it, sucked.

Then, everything was blank…and then it was not. Her eyes would flash open in terror, as her body was submerged in the Pit, surrounded by its infectious water. She felt like she was on fire, while simultaneously freezing. Her mind would be a haze of memories and incoherence, struggling to remember why she was there, what the hell had happened. Then when it hit her, and her heart shattered. Every time.

She had been killed, and now she was forced to come back to life.

Talia could recall the panic, the screams, and the endless pain of feeling her body put itself back together. She would watch in horror as open gashes would stitch themselves together until only faint scars remained. She would cry as she felt her bones gradually attaching themselves back together, from where they were broken.

And through it all, Talia could only see the disgusting shade of bright, neon green that enveloped her world. As she sat back up in panic, her body still in the water, all she could think was how much she hated the color. Every time she died, and was mercilessly resurrected in the horrid green pit, she realized how much she hated it. She hated green, she hated her father, and she hated her life. More than anything, she hated the shattered remains of her mind and sanity, she hated feeling broken.

It’s been a decade, and she is still broken. But not shattered. No, her scars are still there, but her heart has healed a bit. Her mind is in a better place, and she finds that she loves life more than anything now. 

She loves waking up early while her beloveds are still snoring, safe after another rough night. She loves holding baby Helena close, and planting kisses atop her little head. She loves when Damian proudly shows her his drawings, and then having to stop fights that ensue between him and Tim. She loves when Cass and Steph invite her to waffle feasts. She loves that finally after almost a decade, she can now have amicable conversations with Richard. 

She loves drinking wine and venting about life with Kate at the redhead’s apartment. She loves going window shopping and strolling through the city with Barbara, on the rare occasions the two have time. She loves helping Dev organize his supplies in the medbay while having deep talks, and helping him keep her husband in check, since God knows he needs it sometimes. 

She loves helping Alfred clean the house, finding the normalcy and the older man’s company relaxing and nice. She loves helping Kitrina with her homework and listening to her complain about school, but knowing that the young girl loves it regardless. 

She loves going out with Tim and trying new coffee shops in Gotham with him. She loves hearing about how college is going for Jason, despite him being so far away. And she loves when Duke introduces her to his video games, often times with Damian interrupting. 

She loves having to reach up and tie her Bruce’s necktie before they leave for work. She loves leaning on her Selina’s shoulder as they watch a movie on the rare nights they have for themselves.

Now, when she sees the color green, she smiles. Not out of happiness, but satisfaction of what her world has become. She loves life now, and she supposes she can try and learn to love green, too.

[disgrays-on]

raising baby birds for dummies

Word Count: 2.9k

Pairing: Bruce Wayne // Reader

A/N: a friend asked me to write:

a no cape au where bruce and the reader are two people who are young and in love and married and have the time and money to be able to adopt a bunch of children despite not knowing how to tend and care for them.

i present them with this instead. completely butchered every single character bc this is self indulgent stuff anyways. also i love kid fics. enjoy!

If you were asked when it had all began, your answer would be the day you met Bruce Wayne.

It all started slowly. As he was, Bruce was an extremely complicated man, had layers upon layers that needed to be peeled back before one could really truly know the man. He was Gotham born and bred, a rich, single socialite with the good looks to make up for whatever he was lacking in between. You supposed that was enough to make a person put up walls as solid and sturdy as his were. That hadn’t been enough of a deterrent for you though. You were young, attractive and successful. The light in the darkness that was the city itself, the personification of the soothing and healing that the people craved. Gotham’s sweetheart, they called you. You had caught Bruce’s eyes so easily, had made your way to his heart so effortlessly as if you had already owned it, as if it was already yours.

News of your blooming relationship had made front page news for about a week and became the talk of everyone for about forever when it had lasted far longer than any of your or Bruce’s previous relationships had. Anyone could just about see the amount of love and adoration he had for you and the amount of love and adoration you had for him so no one had exactly been surprised when an engagement was announced. There was a steady thrum of thrill and excitement running through the city in the months leading up to your marriage, an unspoken approval that was unneeded but definitely appreciated.

There was not a specific moment that you could recall when you and Bruce had discussed having children. You had gotten questions regarding having kids even before you were married to Bruce, during interviews and press conferences. You would always laugh then and would tell them that while you did want children, you would have them when you were ready. You had always adored children and Bruce was an only child so you supposed it was only inevitable that the two of you ended up with a bunch of your own. You and Bruce were young and in love and the Manor was an incredibly huge amount of space for just you and him and Alfred and the occasional cleaning crew that came every now and again. All of a sudden, coming home to your bunch of rowdy kids and watching Disney movies every other night and tucking your kids in and reading them bedtime stories every night became some sort of a normal, became something that you couldn’t imagine exchanging for anything.

The first child came in the form of one Richard Grayson. When you had first met him, he was a small boy who had bright blue eyes and a beautiful smile even through all the pain and grief that he went through. The process of adopting him was frustratingly difficult and so much more mentally exhausting than you imagined it would be. But when Dick had looked up at you with the same pearly blue eyes and a shy smile after you told him that he was finally yours and Bruce’s, you can't help but think that it was all worth it.

The first time all three of you make a public appearance is the day you had decided to shop for groceries in lieu of Alfred. The three of you had tried not to attract too much attention but it was easier said than done. With the adoption news being so recent and the public having never seen your child, the three of you were flooded with paparazzi almost instantly. Bruce stuck by your side with a steady arm around your waist as he led you and Dick who was tucked in your arms around the crowd of people and paparazzi trying to get pictures of him.

In the end, the grocery store you had chosen to go to shut itself off for the public and the three of you shopped in relative peace (with just a tiny bit of guilt at the back of your mind). You end up setting an account for pictures of your little boy, the first being a picture of your son sitting on his father’s lap with his head thrown back in laughter, a smidge of ice cream on his nose.

A little while later, Bruce comes home with a scrappy young boy, a little rough around the edges, a bit harsh and jagged. He was so incredibly brilliant and such a good person that you fall in love with him within the first ten minutes of meeting him. You’re pretty sure that that had been the quickest that you’ve ever fallen for somebody. When Jason was out of earshot - corralled away by Alfred and Dick to freshen up and explore the Manor - your husband announced to you, with determined eyes and the same resolve that you’ve come to know and love him for, that the both of you would be adopting him. You had laughed and had given him a big kiss before promptly agreeing.

If you thought Dick was spoiled, then you weren't sure what Jason was. Whatever he wanted (that Bruce deemed reasonable enough) was his. Bruce loved the boy so dearly, doted on him so much and understandably so. The boy, still so small for his age, was never out of eyesight, never not hoisted up on yours or Bruce's hips, never too far from where Alfred could reach him. Despite the scowl or pout he put on whenever he was carried, Jason’s arms still end up weaved around your neck tightly.

While Dick had been quite hesitant at first, Jason and he grow close soon enough, taking it upon himself to look after his younger brother. When they’re in the Manor, Dick and Jason can usually be found with their hands linked together, the eldest of the two yammering away and the youngest taking his thumb out of his mouth long enough to chip in with a response whenever he saw fit. During galas or whenever there were too many people around for it to be comfortable, Dick usually had one protective arm around his little brother, smiling politely as they're fawned and cooed over. Your heart soared whenever you see the both of them, whether they’re getting along or squabbling over the littlest things.

Timothy comes around a little bit later, all shy and timid, but the whole family coaxes him out of that soon enough, his sweet little laughter ringing out through the Manor along with the laughter of your other two boys. They get along easier than you expected they would. You and Bruce enjoyed spending time with all three of the boys, tucked into each others’ side and watching as your children played with each other around the expansive grounds of the estate. To see Bruce so content was addicting. His happiness was infectious. You could never resist brushing your lips against his whenever he got that joyous.

More often than not, you find all three of your kids huddling together on one of the lounge chairs in the Manor’s sitting room, Dick and Jason on either side of your youngest boy and your laptop on his lap. You would clear your throat and watch as all three boys stiffen up. Trying your hardest not to laugh at their panicking, you would retrieve your laptop and put it to the side before threatening them with a serious round of tickles. Their scampering away was always the funniest. Sometimes, you got Bruce to help round them up and dump them all on yours and Bruce’s bed before the both of you would unleash the tickles. Their combined peals of laughter and their flushed cheeks never failed to make you grin. These times usually ended in cuddles with you and Bruce sandwiching the three boys, hands intertwined over all of your kids.

Cassandra comes after that and regardless of how much Bruce denies it, he’s completely wrapped around her tiny little fingers. It took less than an hour for your boys to warm up to her, less than an hour before they were sharing their toys and possessions with Cass. When you had told them that the little girl would be around to stay, they had whooped out of joy because now there was an even number of them and they could finally split off equally. She was quieter than your boys, doesn’t really speak all that much, and everyone tries their hardest to not push but you could see the kids’ increasing frustration at how difficult it was. A month into her stay at the Manor, all of you signed up for sign language classes at Alfred’s recommendation.

She was quick on her feet, loved to play hide and seek because she was the best at it and none of the boys could ever seem to find her without external help (Bruce). You’re not sure why but a little part of you thinks that now Cass was around the boys were definitely learning how to be sneakier. Of course, it would be a while before they could really sneak up on you with the giggles that you could still hear regardless of how hard they tried to stifle it. But nothing could beat the joy that you truly felt whenever you saw all four of them together. Now you had four little pairs of feet running around in the Manor, four little tiny humans to give you warm hugs and great big smooches on your cheeks in the mornings, four little bundles of joy that would huddle around you and Bruce when movie night came around.

Damian's arrival almost breaks you. The toddler had taken your breath away as soon as your eyes fall on him, and not in a good way. You had known, almost instantly and with absolute certainty, that he was Bruce's. You had half the mind to get angry, to yell at Bruce because how could he? Instead, you lead him to your study, sit across him to keep distance between the two of you and calmly ask for an explanation as to how this could have happened. You had your other kids who needed you, who depended on you and counted on you to not just up and leave. Regardless of all the pain that you were feeling, all the insecurity and the tears, they were the only ones holding you together. You listen as your husband poured his heart out to you and no matter how much you didn’t want it to, you find your anger slowly dissipating.

While the both of you discussed - it was more Bruce talking to you and you trying your hardest not to do anything that you might regret, to be honest - Alfred had taken the kids out for a day in the city. Despite that, they still come back a little sullen and a little upset. Maybe they had detected the animosity in the air before they had left, or maybe they had noticed the way your smile never seemed to reach your eyes like it usually does.

Damian steals your heart easily enough in the end with his all too familiar eyes and his petulant little self. It was difficult not to get attached to him because he was just adorable, even with the glaring and the grumbling. He loved getting cuddled despite how much he wriggled and squirmed around in one’s arms. You only know this because he had cried for the longest time when you had put him down on the ground after it seemed like he didn’t want to be carried by you. Dick loved the idea of having another little one to care for while the rest had been more careful but they grow fond of the youngest boy soon enough. You knew Damian loved the attention he was getting from his siblings even if he didn’t show it much.

“He’s like a little cat, Bruce.” You had said after another round of tears from Damian after you had placed him down. He had looked so affronted when he was on his own feet, turning to you with a betrayed look on his face when he realised he was no longer in your arms. Bruce had taken one look at his youngest son before humming thoughtfully, but you could see the hint of a smile on his lips. You took it as an approval of your claim.

One morning found you extremely uncomfortable, an annoyingly painful throbbing at the back of your head and your throat incredibly hoarse from all the coughing you’ve been doing. You didn’t think you were old enough for all the pain that you were feeling in every single part of your body to

be justified. You had anticipated this because it seemed impossible for you to not get sick at least once a year. You were miserable, longing for the days when you foolishly took an unblocked nose and a clear head for granted. Bruce had given you a sympathetic look, ducking down to brush his lips against your forehead and running his hand through your hair comfortingly.

“I’ll get Alfred for you.” He had said, with softened eyes and a tender smile on his face. You tried your best to return his smile, to keep looking at your husband, but the sweet embrace of sleep was far too tempting. You felt him plant another kiss on your temple before he straightened up. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Keep the kids away, ‘kay?” You remembered slurring out. You didn’t need them catching whatever it was that you had. You heard Bruce reply with a short hum before you fell asleep.

The next time you woke up, Alfred had soup and hot tea on a tray, your medicines to the side, ready for you to consume. You gave him a small smile before thanking him. You were glad that you could always count on him to know exactly what you needed.

“Where are the kids?” You croaked out, wincing at how grainy your voice sounded.

“Master Bruce has taken it upon himself to try and distract the children.” Alfred threw you a pointed look, one you couldn’t help but smile at because that could mean that they were up to anything. You could only hope that whatever it was that it wouldn’t cause too much of a mess. You had only ever gotten sick a handful of times over the years but this would be the first time with all five of them around. You could still remember the one time you had gotten sick, when it had only been you and Bruce and the three boys, and they had tried to cook for you. The resulting product was not…inedible but eating it hadn’t been pleasant either. Thankfully, Alfred had been around to stop that.

You cringed at the memory, “I hope they’re not in the kitchen, Alfred.”

Alfred had remained unexpressive as he agreed but you could see the mirth in his eyes. Once you were finished with your meal and your meds, he had tucked you in and promised to be back to check up on you soon.

Consciousness came and went but you never seemed to be alone for long in the moments that you were aware. Bruce comes and checks up on you multiple times, caressing your cheeks and pushing your hair back from your forehead, always looking incredibly soft when he does. You would always find yourself leaning into his touch because you were burning and his cool hands were a pleasant reprieve from the heat.

You get much better a day later, even if you were still coughing a bit and still slightly sore. You were sat on your bed with your feet still tangled in the sheets, enjoying a nice cup of tea courtesy of Alfred, when you were pulled away from the article you were reading by whispers outside your door. The not-so-hushed conversation brought a smile to your face almost instantly.

“But Dad said not to.”

“Yeah but that was yesterday.”

Silence.

“We can just peek in for a bit.”

A toddler’s short noise of agreement.

“This is a bad idea. If Dad finds out-”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. He’s not going find out.”

The door to your room burst open and all your kids brightened up when they realised that you were awake. Jason, still on his tiptoes from opening the door, had grinned at you boyishly. Tim was close behind, peering into the room while holding onto Cass’ hand. Behind all of them, your eldest son was holding Damian, the usual bright smile on his face. Your heart swelled at the sight of them. How you had missed them.

“Hi, kids.” You said, raising your eyebrows at them, the smile still on your face. “Did Alfred say you could be in here?”

At least your kids had the decency to look guilty before they scrambled up into your bed and slipping in under the sheets. Damian wriggled in Dick’s arms, huffing and puffing when he couldn’t get to you. You could just about see the hints of the incoming tears so you decided to relieve your Dick of your youngest child. The pout dropped from Damian’s face when you pressed kisses onto his cute little cheeks. You ran your fingers through Jay’s curls, had tucked Tim and Cass closer and pressed a kiss to Dick’s temple for being such good sports. You hated being sick but you hated being away from your kids even more. They were already making themselves comfortable, snuggling in closer and regaling you with the tales of what had gone down while you were stuck in bed. You were pretty sure you heard something about burnt food somewhere in there. You hoped they hadn’t made too much of a mess for Alfred to clean up. Bruce spent about a minute pretending to be stern with the kids before dropping all of it and slipping into the bed as well.

As much as you enjoyed the peace and quiet that came with getting sick, you couldn't imagine wanting to trade the joy you got from spending time with your family with anything, ever.

[highly-opinionated-nerd]

Bat family -> Star Wars crossover

The thing about Star Wars is that it is Big. It encompasses not only a huge amount of space, but also a huge amount of time. I think it’d be best to set a Batman crossover in the Empire era, though.

The first thing the Empire does when they come to power is wipe out the Jedi who would have opposed them. So there’s no such thing as a Jedi Order anymore. But there are a few scattered survivors and other Force sensitives who resist the Empire in whatever way they can. Bruce would be one of those, I think.

Instead of Gotham, he’d have Coruscant; an entire planet that’s nothing but skyscrapers and cityscape. The upper levels are reserved for the wealthy, of course, and the lower levels for the poorer. But even further down, so far down that sunlight no longer reaches it and no sentient being in their right mind would ever go there, there are blind and vicious creatures living in the dark. You never know what’s going to happen on Coruscant.

Not sure how I feel about Bruce having once been a part of the Order. That kind of monk-like lifestyle doesn’t seem to fit him at all. I like the idea of him discovering his Force sensitivity on his own, and training himself from bits and pieces he’s able to uncover from the fallen Order. Rich boy Bruce Wayne would surely have access to the kind of crystals needed to make a lightsaber;one with a dark blue-violet colored blade, that doesn’t throw off enough light in the darkness for you to ever get a good look at his face. Most Jedi have a certain specialty, too, some aspect of Force-wielding that comes more naturally to them than anything else. I think Bruce’s would be sensory perception: the ability to easily heighten any of his senses, like sight or hearing, and to be able to sense the presence of others in his vicinity with acute precision, even in the dark.

The moment he found a kid he suspected might have a connection to the Force, he’d have to do everything in his power to protect that kid. Because otherwise, the Empire might find them and corrupt them into soldiers for the Emperor, if they didn’t just kill them outright. That’s how he ends up with all these crime fighting children around him.

Dick’s specialty in the comics is acrobatics. That can be a Force thing, too. The innate knowledge of exactly what your body is capable of, just how far you have to lean to the side to avoid that laser blast, how much pressure you have to use to make that jump, where to hit that guy to knock him out without killing him. His lightsaber would be a normal, bright shade of blue, and his style of bladework would be one of the more defensive ones (unlike Bruce, who would favor a more offensive style).

Jason falls squarely into the Star Wars description of a Scoundrel. A smuggler, a conman, a smooth talker, a rule breaker. He is the grey kind of character who would constantly be walking a fine line on the edge between ‘dark’ and ‘light’. Killing people doesn’t inherently mean you’re dark, but if you let that get to you, and lose your sense of purpose and righteousness, you’ll fall to the dark side in no time. Jason has a lightsaber- a red one, of course- but he prefers blasters most of the time. I think he’d also be an excellent pilot.

Tim is still the tech guy, the one who hacks his way into security systems and restricted files. He actually transitions really easily from a comic book setting to a true sci-fi setting. He’d have a green lightsaber, but also a couple other secondary weapons. He likes his gadgets, after all. I really like the idea of his specialty having to do with foresight. He’d see glimpses of possible futures, in dreams and quiet moments, and whenever those visions came to pass he’d be able to determine the best course of action do get himself and his team out of a dangerous situation alive.

Damian is one of those ‘why can’t I get the benefits of both the light and the dark elements of the Force? Why can’t I use lightning and healing techniques?’ characters. That is an extremely dangerous way of thinking! That almost always leads to betrayal and complete collapse into pure darkness. But I think the influence of Bruce and the rest of his family, as well as the fear of becoming like the Sith and their Hands would be enough to keep him on the light side. He’d have a bright, golden blade and also favor an offensive fighting style. His specialty would deal with outward force- manifesting the Force into a blast of power that throws people around, you know what I’m talking about. The kind of brute strength that is usually also associated with the dark side, but can really be used by anyone.

Barbara would be an empath, someone who can very easily pick up on other people’s emotions and intentions, sometimes even read their exact thoughts. In fact, some empaths actually have trouble turning that particular sense off. It takes a lot of discipline to control. She’d also be a cyborg- specifically, artificial legs to get around after she was paralyzed. It might be interesting to think about cyborg Jason too, now that I think about it, since he also had a big ‘come back from the dead’ incident. Regardless, Barbara doesn’t do lightsabers. Not all Jedi do. She fights with words and, when she has to, her fists.

Steph, though. She has a purple lightsaber, and bladework is actually her specialty. None of the others can hold their own against her in a fight.

Cass’ specialty is probably some kind of outward Force manipulation, like Dami’s. Something like telekinesis or illusion work. Or maybe even telecommunication, since she doesn’t really talk. She has a red lightsaber too.

It’s also really interesting to think about the Gotham villains in a Star Wars setting. Joker would be some kind of rogue dark side Force sensitive, with no connection to the Empire at all. Penguin would run an underground crime ring that runs Spice or slave trade or something like that. Riddler would be...pretty much the same, actually. 

[itispossibleihaveissues]

And Who By Fire - chapter 16

Pairing: Jason Todd/Dick Grayson

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: Permanent injury, amputation, behavioural changes due to brain injury, dysfunctional relationships [big shock, I know] I will put any extras at the beginning of each chapter.

Summery:  Both Dick and Jason are caught in an explosion that changes everything. Burdened with a shared sense of guilt and isolation, they are forced to rely on each other. Together they might heal. Or possibly just kill each other.

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 15

Thanks to Sharon for the Beta

Notes: This is for Iamjasonssmirkingrevenge and is also all her fault.

Yes an update, finally. Sorry for the wait >.<

As soon as the sun rose, bright and warm in a disgusting show of spite for Jason’s unhappy state, Tim flew into action. It was mildly terrifying to watch him work as he made a flurry of calls and sent off emails with speed that would make even the best PA cry with envy.

Jason lay on the sofa and felt sorry for himself, while fighting down his own twinge of impressed jealousy at his little brothers brutal efficiency. Within the hour Tim had ordered - and received - a new pair of crutches, pancakes with extra bacon, coffee, a parrot-friendly breakfast, put in an order for exact copies of both of Jason’s previous prosthetics and had completed his mornings office work, or delegated it accordingly.

Even though some days it seemed that Tim was out to ruin Jason's life, it was increasingly apparent he owed the kid big time. Maybe he would by him a fruit basket or something.

“Can you get me a new PS4?” he asked instead of saying thanks, because he was a coward who couldn’t even offer that last shred of his own pride. “PB or Dick killed the other one with a combination of fruit juice and disembowelment. Fairly sure it was PB that did that bit, but you can never be sure with those two.”

Tim shoved a clean T-shirt at him. “I could get you one, yeah - but I won’t,” he said, curtly.

“Why?”

“Because you’re an asshole.”

“Fair enough,” Jason agreed, nodding and winching as the movement jarred his bruised body. “I think Dick gave me whiplash...”

“Yeah? Well you gave him a permanent brain injury, so fair’s fair.”

Jason winced again. “Harsh, dude,” he said, but it wasn’t untrue. Clearly Tim's kindness only went so far and he had moved past helpful and back to being pissed. Jason couldn’t blame him for that, but he wasn’t going to have the time to dwell on it as he reluctantly took the crutches Tim handed him and got shakily to his feet. Foot.

His life was the fucking worst.

He looked at PB whose pale, silver-gray eyes were watching him closely, as it made its way through a chunk of broccoli.

“You coming?” Jason asked him.

The parrot regarded him for a moment, then stuck the broccoli in its beak and climbed up Jason's right pant leg, settling on his shoulder with a ruffle of his damaged plumage, and began crunching loudly on his breakfast with an aggressive sort of determination.

“I think it’s pissed off with you,” Tim commented, somewhat smugly, then turned away before Jason could respond.

By the time they made it to the parking garage, Jason's gut was churning with so many emotions he didn’t even know which to start with; Anxiety? Guilt? Fear? Anger? Anger was always a good one, but in this case it was directed towards himself, and taking it out on either of his companions just didn’t feel right.

  Tim helped him into a nondescript car he was barely old enough to drive, and Jason settled into the seat awkwardly, holding PB in his lap.

They were silent for a few moments while Jason wrestled with his thoughts some more and Tim moved them into the downtown traffic, weaving his way through the honking cars.

“You mad at me?” Jason asked at last - a stupid question, but he had gotten kind of used to the fact that Tim had appeared to be in his corner. The loss was upsetting. “I get that everyone is, and will be when they find out – I am fairly sure Damian will make an actual attempt on my life at some point - but you’ve been helping me. I don’t get it.”

Tim pursed his lips, considering. “It’s a hard one to answer,” he said after a moment’s thought. “Because, yeah, on one hand I’m furious that something you did took away a part of my brother. I hate to see him hurting, both because he is having to struggle with new aspects of his behaviour and personality, and because helping people is a fundamental part of his identity.” Tim paused to viciously cut off a sleek red car, which sent a storm of honking their way. “It’s more than identity, it’s an obsession for him. And I’m worried that the two ways he had to slake that need have now been taken away.”

“Yeah,” Jason was fairly sure now was one of those times it was okay for him to wallow whole-heartedly in misery and self-recrimination. He held onto PB as Tim swerved in front of a truck, laying on the horn in casual defiance. The kid drove like someone who had been taught by Dick, and Jason wasn’t sure if it was terrifying or amusing. Maybe both.

Settling back into his lane, Tim let out a whoosh of breath, shrugging like he was trying to roll the tension out of his shoulders. “But, even though all of that’s true, Dick is alive... and although he’s different, he’s still Dick – just with a few complications. Something that would have been a lot harder to accept if you hadn’t helped me see it.” Tim shifted again, tapping out a nervous rhythm on the steering wheel. “You really helped Damian too - they FaceTime every other day now, you know? He’s adapting to the changes and the way he needs to deal with Dick in order to do what’s best for their relationship. His behaviour has improved.”

“How can you tell, with the little demon?” Jason asked as he rubbed absently at his stump. So many lives had been fucked up by his actions that it didn’t feel like there were any amends he could make.

“I know right? But it’s noticeable. After the accident he was lashing out in general and provoking Bruce, trying to get a rise out of him. And he was working himself into exhaustion.”

“Like father like son, huh?”

“Yeah, big time. But since he and Dick have found a way to communicate properly, he seems to have mellowed again.” Tim made a rueful face, “Well, as mellow as demon spawn gets anyway.”

They drove the rest of the way in almost companionable silence while Jason mulled that over. It was no surprise Damian was taking things out on Bruce; after all, Jason had done the same in his time, when things hurt him in ways he couldn’t express properly.

He stared out the window. The morning was crisp and bright, and it didn’t seem right for the day to be full of singing birds and fragrant, fall leaves as his life fell apart again. It should be raining, or hailing, or maybe a tornado or something. Because, fuck, he was going to have to tell everybody. If he was going to at least try to make amends in some way, then he was going to have to start by letting people know what he was attempting to atone for. Now the process had been started, he realised he would not be able to live himself if he didn’t.

The dark of the parking garage in his building was almost a relief. After Tim pulled into a good spot near the elevator and turned off the engine, they both sat in the dim light for a moment – Jason attempting to figure out the best way to get out the car with out falling on his already battered face, and Tim thinking whatever Tim thoughts were knocking around in his big old brain. Maybe planning world domination, or maybe just steeling himself for whatever lay inside the apartment.

Just as Jason was getting ready to attempt his crutches, Tim broke the silence. “I guess that even though there is a part of me that’s angry and disappointed - and it is a pretty big part, I can’t pretend it isn’t - when it comes down to the line, I’ve gained as much as I’ve lost.” He leaned back in his seat and sighed. “I gained a brother in you and, although you are endlessly aggravating and make stupid choices, like, ninety percent of the time, that’s important to me. And I still have my family: Dick, Bruce, Cass and Damian, I suppose, even though he’s the worst little brother in the universe. And although Dick's lost so much in this mess – perhaps he has gained some things too.”

Jason's face was flushing and his heart was beating rapidly, like the wings of a trapped bird. He really didn’t deserve the gift Tim had just given him. It was worth more than any of the other things he had done for him over the past few months; more than the forgiveness, the reassurance. So much more. Jason was good at stuff, he was useful in a fight, at planning ops and getting things done, and he understood Gotham’s underbelly better even than Batman, but Occasionally Useful had been all he was worth to his so-called family, and often not even that – too trigger happy, too brutal, too unpredictable.

But as a brother? It had only ever been a word, not a reality. They were brothers because of circumstance, not blood, or love, or any other tie other than Bruce and his mission. He and Dick had moved past the brother thing into different territory, sure, but what Tim was offering was just as important – it was family. It was overwhelming and Jason didn’t know what to say, what he could say he didn’t even know if Tim understood the significance of his words to Jason’s damaged sense of self.

So of course he didn’t say any of those things and instead cleared his throat roughly. “You going to do a Dick and start chucking out terrible cliches now?” he asked, voice still hoarse with emotion.

Thankfully, Tim did him a solid and ignored it, letting him keep the last shreds of his dignity.

“Sure. If I was a religious man, I would say ‘the Lord moves in mysterious ways’ but I’m not, so instead I’ll say that I think, with time and hard work, the both of you can be happy. Happier maybe than you both were before. Or you could just mope about and fuck each other up further.” He shrugged. “Up to you.” And with that, the little shit got out the car with all the ease of a two legged person and headed for the elevator.

Jason scowled and followed at a much slower pace, feeling strangely grateful for Tim's parting shot. They were still on shaky ground, but he felt better nonetheless.

 The apartment was a mess. Actually, mess was not quite the right word to describe what looked like the aftermath of a tornado of Biblical proportions.

“Well someone’s been venting,” Jason said, not surprised at the state of all of his stuff but quite sad to see some of his possessions mangled beyond repair.

“Goddamn, clunk fizz,” PB said miserably and, in Jason's opinion, with an under tone of accusation. The parrot started a slow descent, claw over claw, from Jason's shoulder and down his back. Jason was distantly surprised that the creepy feel of the birds freaky-looking feet clutching at his clothes was no longer unpleasant.

“I suppose we should check on Dick,” was Tim's only comment as he started picking his way through the shards of broken glass that might have once been Jason's 72” TV.

Jason followed slowly – he wasn’t used to the crutches and he really didn’t want to land face first in a pile of glass, and as he maneuvered through the chaos he whistled for PB. He didn’t want the bird to cut his feet, but PB ignored him and hopped deftly through the mess towards the kitchen.

Dick was slumped against the open fridge, a half eaten strawberry yogurt clutched in one limp hand and a mostly empty bottle of scotch in the other. Thankfully, much of the whisky seemed to be on Dick and the floor, so at he was probably only drunk and not suffering from alcohol poisoning.

PB scuttled forward to investigate and stuck out his tongue to taste first the yogurt and then the scotch.

“Get the bird in his cage, Tim. I’m not dealing with a drunk parrot on top of the past twenty-four hours.”

Tim grimaced and bent hesitantly to attempt reach for PB - and then jumped back as the sharp beak snapped at him fearsomely.

“I’m not losing a finger to it!” Tim said, shrilly. “You pick it up!” He pointed the aforementioned finger at PB, but then hid it behind his back as the parrots beady eyes fixed on it with clear intent.

Jason huffed. The kid had been out on the streets pummelling bad guys since the onset of puberty, but one grumpy bird and he was shrieking like a four year old. “Which hand should I pick it up with, genius?” He attempted to draw attention to the fact he was currently using his hands to hold the crutches and nearly slipped. “Fuck!”

“Fine,” Tim said, still eyeing PB like he was going to suddenly remember how to fly and rip his head off. Being a smart boy, Tim found another way and instead of risking any limbs he fetched some parrot snacks and toys to tempt the bird away.

Jason stared at Dick’s slumped form. He didn’t think he could actually feel any more shit than he already did, but was still unsurprised when there was another deep twist of regret in his gut. Dick was a good person and didn’t deserve all the crap Jason had put him though. If he wanted Jason to leave then he would, he wasn’t going to case any more harm – but if Dick gave even the slightest hint he wanted him to stay despite all he had done, he would happily spend a lifetime making it up to him. Or trying to at least. God that might be the sappiest thing he had ever thought. Or at least it would have been, if the past few months hadn’t happened. As it was half of the stupid thoughts that passed through his brain these days seemed to consist of self pity or mushy feelings about his dumb family.

Thinking of family made him think of Tim and how grateful he was, which also served to piss him off, finally letting in the anger he had desperately tried to substitute for his feelings of sadness and emotional confusion. Because without Tim pushing him to tell Dick before he was ready this mess would have been one for another day, and not something he had to deal with right now.

The comforting familiar feeling of irritation and resentment relaxed him slightly as he waited hopefully for parrot/Tim warfare to erupt in the living-room.

He was disappointed though, because although Tim had failed to get the canny parrot into his cage, he had managed to get him distracted enough he was no longer in danger of consuming spilt scotch, instead he hunched on the back of the sofa gnawing on what looked suspiciously like an iphone.

Tim came back into the kitchen and eyed Dick’s slumped form. His next task was going to have to be single handedly getting Dick from the kitchen to the sofa. Jason, unable to do more than sit and watch, left him to it and took a seat on the arm of the easy chair – one of the few places free of glass and the other miscellaneous fruits of Dick's rage.

After a few false starts Tim managed to haul Dick more or less to his feet. Dick groaned and didn’t open his eyes, but he was taking a little of his own weight. Jason snorted when Tim staggered, nearly dumping them both on the floor.

“Yeah, laugh it up,” Tim said, attempting to get Dick to move under his own power with little success.

Jason rather vindictively hoped Dick puked on him. “Shall I cheer you on from the sidelines?” He asked.

“I think,” Tim huffed, now attempting to take most of Dick’s weight as he maneuvered him around the debris littering the floor, “I think, we should put him on the sofa for now. That way I can keep an eye on him while you catch a nap, then we can swap.”

“And then what?” Jason was just so fucking tired. Tired physically, and emotionally. Tired of his own mercurial emotions, that were sending him from anger to grief to gratitude and then right back to anger.

Tim chose to ignore his yo-yoing attitude – something he did with ease, and Jason was forced to wonder if he had always seemed this way to his family and had just been lacking the self awareness.

Tim grunted as he heaved Dick the last few feet to the sofa. “Well at some point I’m going to have to go to work, so maybe you can call someone to take over? Roy maybe?” he said.

“Roy is a bad idea – he and Dick communicate by squabbling, often violently, but as soon as he finds out the reason he’s babysitting he’ll attempt to beat me to a pulp, and I draw the line at the indignity of getting a whipping from Harper so I’ll have to shoot him, and then Dick will whine about it forever.”

“Okay, not Roy then.” Tim said with infinite patience as he pushed Dick down on the couch with an expression of profound relief. Possibly due to the weight of his brothers semi-conscious body or, equally likely, because Dick always stank like a bar room floor after a drinking session.

“But,” Tim continued as he brushed the remains of Jason's ipad off a chair and sat, “you have to call someone. I really do have to work.”

“You’re sixteen, Tim. Why the fuck do you have to go to work?”

Tim shrugged. “Dick was the one who was supposed to get into the business, but he was completely disinterested, so I did it.”

“And now Bruce should be doing it.”

“He does. I enjoy working at Wayne Enterprises.”

“Of course you do, you Machiavellian shit.”

Tim grinned at him, showing far too many teeth and, Jason suspected, a shade of his true evil nature.

“Go to bed, Jason. I’ll wake you up in four hours when I have to go. My first meeting is at three and I will need to go clean up first.”

“Thanks.” And he meant it.

 When Jason woke, it was dark. Tim had let him sleep – or possibly Dick had killed him in a violent rage and he had been unable to wake Jason at the allotted hour. The possibility was not as remote as it had once been, and he was fully awake in moments and ready to go check. Or perhaps not quite fully awake as he spent a few fruitless minutes hunting for the prosthetics he no longer had. Infuriating and embarrassing.

Finally he made it out of bed, and discovered there was a note pinned to the door with some sort of novelty Batarang. Cute.

Jason,

I let you sleep on, as Dick woke before I left and was coherent enough that I have no issues leaving him. We spoke for a while - he is still extremely pissed, but seems to have calmed down somewhat. Or that could have been the hangover. I told him to sleep it off, and informed him you were in your room. He promised to only murder you while you were conscious, so I think it should be fine.

He has taken the crazy parrot to bed with him, in case you were wondering where it was.

I didn’t bother to clean up, because you deserve some added pain – but I did order some food and essentials so don’t shoot the delivery guy (I used your account and your security is useless).

Will touch base later over the Bruce thing,

T

Ugh the Bruce thing. That was going to suck no matter what they did. Jason opened the door to his room anyway, just as a precaution in case Dick had surfaced or PB had escaped from his clutches. The living room was still very much the same as it had been earlier in the day – sad, miserable chaos. His mildly chewed phone was still on the arm of the chair where he had left it, and it was blinking an ominous green light. He never used to get an adrenaline spike followed by cold dread when he realised he had messages. He did now though. Reluctantly he hobbled over and picked it up. Eleven missed calls from Tim, three voicemails. Jason's stomach dropped further – he almost didn’t want to know – surely he could just leave his phone and run away. Baghdad was pretty nice this time of year.

He played the messages. The first was Tim, urgent but calm: Jason, Bruce is back – he arrived this afternoon. He will almost certainly head out tonight but I will try and find something else to occupy him to give you some time. Call me when you get this.

The second message was also from Tim, but less calm:

He went out, and came back an hour later. He is pissed. I would be careful if I were you – not hundred percent what’s riling him but it might be you. Call me

Jason shut his eyes as the third message began to play – he didn’t want to fucking know, but forewarned was also forearmed.

Yeah, it's you. He’s on his way. Incidentally, I’ve been grounded for the rest of my natural lifespan, which I don’t appreciate. Damian is out with Steph, so that’s one thing less to worry about. Good luck. See you some time in the next decade, if you survive.

Oh good. That was just what he wanted to hear.

While he waited for panic to set in, he wondered if Tim had been reprimanded for aiding and abetting, withholding evidence, or some other mortal sin. Either way, Jason definitely owed him big time.

If he survived, obviously.

[sweetwriting]

Tim Drake Week 2017 - Day 5 : Injury / Healing

Category : Gen

Genre : Angst / Family

Fandoms : DC Comics, Batman (1940), Detective Comics, Robin v4 (1993), Red Robin (2009), Teen Titans (2003)

Continuity : Post-Crisis/Pre-Flashpoint

Summary : So maybe Tim loved Dick too much, but to be fair Dick was the only person he had to love for a long time.

Author’s notes : This one’s about Tim and Dick’s BROTHERLY relationship Also I try to keep most of the fics for this Week less than 1000 words...I have failed yet again

Word Count : 2827

To read it on AO3

Tim, as can be expected from any non-powered person running around in costume fighting criminals, had received many injuries in the past four years (as proved by his asplenia). Physical, psychological (thank you Scarecrow, Darkseid and Granny Goodness, you've been some of the worse) and emotional, he went through them all. It probably did not help that he was from a rich family (no matter how reckless he could be sometimes, he still lived in as safe an environment Gotham or boarding school for Richie rich (white) kids could be) or that he wasn't very emotionally stable to begin with (he never realized it until he got the chance to open up to his friends and they looked at him as if he was the "saddest little bean" ever -Conner's own words. He hadn't known Bart and Conner were able to feel like this toward anything other than children, women or TV shows and Video Games).

So yeah, lots and lots of bad History there. Still the worse injuries had been the emotional and psychological ones (he still had nightmares about their time on Apokalips, he still sees the nightmares Granny Goodness had created for him, he had nightmares where he didn't "turn down" the Anti-Life Equation and those were often mixed with memories of a future where he became a dictator, where he had managed to clone Conner). The worse ones though were the deaths : Steph, Bart Cass. It didn't matter if some ended up not being real he was still forced to start grieving and psychology hadn't really caught up on how to react to your friends coming back to life. There was also that time he was preparing himself for Dick joining the list (he honestly doesn't know what would have happened to him if Dick had died) and Dana, though not physically wounded was pretty much unable to handle a complete conversation or even take care of herself. His mother and father were special cases themselves as what hurt the most was never knowing what could have been and knowing what never was. Then there were the harshest ones : Conner's and Bruce's. They had both impacted him so deeply he didn't think he would ever truly heal from them. Conner's because, well because he's his best friends, one of the most important people in his life (and hadn't that been an unexpected turn) and Bruce, well, because it's Bruce. Tim became Robin to protect him from himself (and barely lasted four years and a half). But everything that happened because of his death made it worse.

And that's what this is about right ?

Tim loves Dick. He has since he was 3. Dick was his role model, then his big brother, one of the rare people he could confide in (After Conner's death, when they were gone and later on learning Bart's "disappearing act" he became pretty much the only one aside from Cassie sometimes). The tragedy of Dick's childhood shaped his life.

And Dick chose Damian. He knew that he had failed Bruce but he still deserved to be Robin and yet Dick had chosen this homicidal kid for the role. And of course, Dick was the new Batman, the former Robin, of course his vision for the role is what mattered most. But...Tim was the one who had...he had to force Bruce to take on a new Robin, he worked himself almost to the death to be worthy of the mantle and it was taken from him. Dick didn't even have the gut to tell him he just...he was walking in to get changed Damian was wearing a Robin uniform. Was it that hard to tell him? Was it because of his theory that Bruce is alive? Did Dick think he was so mad with grief he really didn't deserve the mantle? What was Tim supposed to do? He just said that it was because he thought he was ready to be his own hero. But then why not talk it through with him? He didn't even have the time to choose a new name and he had to find Bruce. He didn't *have* the time for that. How could Dick do that to him. How could he suggest that Tim was mad when he was the one running away from his grief? Dick was the one who got angry at Bruce Oh so many times because he made decisions without consulting the people concerned and Dick did exactly the same with Tim.

The hypocrisy was daunting. Tim had always known that Dick was more similar to Bruce than either of them would admit. But they were similar and it made Tim so, so sad. he didn't know what to do.

Yes, he did.

He had to find Bruce. Because Bruce has to be alive. Because he needs to not be mad. Because his brother, his model admitted that Tim just wasn't enough. No matter the excuses he tried to give, at the end of the day, Tim lost his second father in a year and his brother took the last thing Tim had from him. Took the last bit of anything right in his life away from him to give it to someone who had tried only a few months prior to kill him in order to become Robin. And well Tim had just lost the two things he had left. Damian had reached his goal even if it wasn't in the way he had expected.

But Tim still had one thing to do and he couldn't actually die until it was done. He had to bring Bruce back home.

Bruce had been back for a year now. Tim…still hadn't really talked with either of them.

The truth is that he spent most of his downtime with Conner, Bart, Cassie, or any of the Titans (it turns out Solstice had actually met his father when he went out on a dig once) rather than try to talk to any of the Bats outside of Barbara, Alfred and Cass.

He and Steph had a truce and they could work together if they had to but it was still awkward. They had, after all always had this on and off relationship which only stopped when she died. Her coming back to life ended up with him being confused about which part he was supposed to be feeling : wanting to start again like they always did ? or just try and be friends ? Because it wasn't like it had been with Ariana, when he had pretty much already moved on when they broke up. His and Steph's break up was sudden to him (even if in retrospect he realized it was bound to happen soon enough) and her death only happened within a few weeks of it. He never had the time to realize a car hit him before a truck hit him harder. And this time it seemed to be truly over but what do you do when you have a history of going back to this person, even if you have realized you only did it because of familiarity? Because you missed having intimacy with someone and it was just easier to fall back into a known situation even if it wasn't an ideal one, even if you knew it was going to end badly but couldn't help hoping it wouldn't simply out of fear of being alone, out of fear of never finding anyone you could get this intimacy with.

Tim wished he had an answer to this question but the truth is that he was still struggling. He was lucky he had his friends back to keep him out of Gotham on a regular basis, to be in a somewhat supportive environment. It wasn't perfect obviously, they all had their own issues and Conner and Cassie's strained relationship wasn't easy especially for him and Bart. Because while they were all best friends Bart and him were better friends with Conner than they were with Cassie and Cassie knew it and even if neither tried to make them chose between them (it wasn't a "who to side with" choice obviously, more of "who gets to keep who" kind of choice) they all knew what that choice would be, especially for Tim (Bart might choose Cassie just to counterbalance Tim's choice, even if it wouldn't be his main choice), and it hurt because they did love Cassie. So even if they didn't talk about it, the elephant was in the room. Or at least it was until Bart couldn't stand it and locked the three of them in a room until they either "killed each other, made up or had a threesome" (the last one had shocked them, both because they didn't understand why Bart would associate the idea of a threesome with them and because, even if they knew Bart had grown up and was knowledgeable about a variety of subjects, some things were still hard to swallow and Bart being aware of sex always managed to surprise them no matter how often it happened). Of course they could have gotten out easily, between the two powerhouses and Tim's own pick locking skills, it was child's play. Only, if Bart hadn't intervened, Tim wouldn't have lasted much longer. So when his friends got ready to destroy the door, he stopped them and forced them to confront their issues (it was so much easier to force other than to do it himself). And sure, just because they talked about it, it didn't mean everything was all and good but it meant that at some point it could be.

And why was he saying this? Because he was avoiding the situation at hand obviously. He was in a coffee shop, sitting across from Dick, a cup of hot chocolate filled with melting whipped cream between his hands. Cass was right, they had to talk things through. Still, she had allowed him a few months because for once in his life he felt he had a right to not forgive right away. Sure it seemed petty but, Tim always forgave people. There were only five instances when he didn't forgive right away: when Bruce had revealed his identity to Steph, when half of Young Justice had admitted to not trusting him (when Kon and Bart had admitted to not trusting him), when he learned that Leslie Thompkins and Steph had lied to them about Steph's death, when Jason had tried to kill him and when Damian had tried to kill him. And even then he had always forgiven in the weeks that followed (it took a lot longer for Leslie, Jason and Bart but the circumstances were different...and he's still struggling with the Damian situation but it's complicated and linked to this one). Simply put, Tim had to live through hell. He hadn't been sure he would survive the emotional strain and at some point he hadn't even been sure he wanted to (actually he was sure he hadn't wanted to). And of course, he wasn't the only one, he knew that but it didn't make his distress go away. So he let himself feel it, acknowledge his feelings for once (which was actively encouraged by his friends) until Cass decided enough was enough (she was right of course it was starting to wring him down, whether he managed to bridge the gap between them or not, he needed to let go).

The thing is, Dick had never apologized.

It may seem stupid but Dick was the biggest influence in his life, along with Bruce, and he had taken everything away from him without even informing him and, and he hadn't even apologized.

This was going to be long.

The whipped cream was completely melted by now. He hadn't been this awkward with Dick since Dick had been his own Batman. It was a lifetime ago (and even then the awkwardness wasn't nearly this bad). He didn't know what to say. Dick seemed to be as lost as he was and he could see Cass hovering nearby. And he couldn't hold it in anymore:

"You never apologized" he blurted out, eyes still lost in his mug.

Dick was obviously taken aback (and why wouldn't he, they had been silent for at least 5 whole minutes before Tim started talking), so he continued.

"You took the Robin mantle from me and gave it to Damian of all people. I had to work at convincing you and Bruce I deserved it and he got it almost right after Bruce's death, you didn't even have the decency to ask me if I was ready, if I was okay for it. I get why he needed it now, but back then you just sprung it on me. You did to me what you're always reproaching to Bruce. I lost my second father in a year, most of my friends were dead and you took away not only the role I had worked so hard to fill and you took my trust in you with it. You even took the trust I had in Cassie when you asked her to come and convince me I was mad. You pretty much called me crazy."

Tim stopped for a second. Taking a deep breathe he looked up from his hot chocolate. Dick seemed to be about to say something but didn't seem to be able to form any words and Tim would have interrupted him anyway. He needed to finish what he had started or he might lose al his courage :

"I know you have emotional issues, we all do, but I thought you could at least manage to apologize. I was alone Dick, I didn't feel safe anywhere because it felt like at any point you were going to send someone new to convince me to go to Arkham. And I get that you had other things to do and that all of a sudden you had other responsibilities on top of having to deal with Bruce's death but it doesn't change the fact that I was one of your responsibilities and you chose to give up on me. You acted as if I had this, big and sudden change, like my emotional instability was somehow new. Like your actions wouldn't, hadn't impacted it. It wasn't Dick and I'm sure you know it, that you knew it, but it was easier to ignore it."

And he knew it was harsh and even a little unfair, that he wasn't perfect either but it felt good to just, lay it out there. And Dick looked horrified and he probably hadn't realized how badly Tim was doing back then. Dick was usually good at pinpointing other's emotional weaknesses but for some reason he had never seemed to really see Tim's. He tried to reach out from across the table, tried to take Tim's hands in his own because, for once, he really needed this bit of contact. But the action surprised Tim who retracted them quickly. They both winced at the reflexive movement which was oh so reflecting of the state of their relationship. Still it seemed to renew Dick's determination and while he didn't try to touch Tim again, he made sure to look him in the eye as he spoke to him :

"You're right I'm sorry. I have no actual excuse for this except that I didn't realize what it was doing to you. I honestly thought you were ready to fly on your own and that Damian needed to be Robin in order to adjust better and I didn't think about how it'd affect you. I said it was because I considered you my equal and still pulled a Bruce and took you out of the decision-making process. And you're right I should have apologized long ago but I didn't really comprehend what had gone wrong until now and I'm so sorry. I promise I'll try to work on it but, I'm not a mind reader. You also have to promise that if I ever do something like that again you will knock some sense into me. Like you usually do with Bruce"

And that was it. Tim didn't really need some long-winded apology. This was enough : acknowledging their faults and promising they'd at least try to get better

And sure, as with Conner and Cassie's resolution, things were far from perfect and wouldn't be for a long while. But as he was suddenly enveloped in his big brother's arms (which was a nice change from Bart, Cassie and Conner, no matter how much he loved the little massaging Conner did around his ears during their half hugs)…as he finally, and for the first time in over a year, truly felt that he was loved by Dick instead of just guessing, thinking, supposing, deducing…Now that he truly felt it, knew it for sure; he had hope that he could really salvage their relationship.

Author’s Note 2 : This work is un-betaed, if you have any advice or anything don't hesitate to tell me (no I'm not fishing for comments I have no idea what you mean)I didn't talk about Tim's suicidal attempts, especially not in the conversation because I don't think either of them are ready to even start thinking about it, much less talking about it.I have put some TimKonCassie again, for a ship that I don't ship it sure comes up often (then again in all of their comics versions Kon and Cassie's relationship almost always only exist through Tim. so if I write about KonCassie it's gonna end up being KonTimCassie...)There's a tiny bit of sexism at the beginning, it's because -sadly- the 90's were a quite sexist time (not that it's much better today) and some, tendencies of the heroes reflect that (except for Kon who was actually not *that* bad, for various reasons I won't get into here until around the 60-70 issues of his first Superboy series and especially Joe Kelly and Dan Didio's run at whichpoint he became a fuckboy and even a tad homophobic (oh I long for the time when he barely batted an eyelash when he learned that his then best friend was gay and thought he and his bf were a cute couple...)), it was a time full of comments that "when cute girl talking to you/you talking to cute girl = flirting even if you're not actually interested"...