#cw sui attempt mention

[itznarcotic]

full tweet text under the Read More:

I was ready to move on, I had made my last statement and I haven't looked at anything regarding my past for a full week. I didn't look at anything regarding legal documents or anything regarding my situation since I moved back to Doki. I wanted to be hopeful for the future and never interact with that side again. So to see it all come back and reopen a wound that I was ready to heal from and to have to talk to my lawyer again on how to respond.

The document mentioned was at first made to document my thoughts and history with evidence so that my lawyer can see the general picture of what was going on, and if there were issues that should be addressed. It was first made during my darkest time mentally and I wrote everything on my mind little by little at that time. I made the document thinking that it was never going to be public to anyone but to my lawyer. Although it was a document filled with my personal information as well privacy information that should not be public, there were no other addresses or specific locations mentioned. Regarding a recording, this was not intended to be anything other than a distribution test for planning of a collaborative event between two people, which happened to be left over from one test recording, and I never recorded any other conversations with anyone. The recording was never shown anywhere even in a legal setting and there are no other records. However, I regret that it was mentioned and I am sorry to all parties affected for the misunderstanding in this.

I requested that I just wanted to move on. Sometimes I didn't hear anything for days from the lawyers on the other side and felt like I'd be alone and isolated for a long time. It made it so hard for me mentally. On Feb 5th, my lawyer discussed and said it will be best to show the document I wrote to the other lawyers as we have not heard from them for a week or any negotiation talks or given a meeting to discuss after my request to part. It was never intended to be used for anything else, I've asked my lawyer to convey that and have communication that the document as it was written wasn't going to be released anywhere, and my lawyer did so when sending the document. Less than two hours after my lawyer sent the document, the termination notice came out. I was very shocked, but thought that was the last time I will hear or think about the document and that this, personally and my own opinion, was the end of the lawyers and legal involvement.

All of the communication was done between lawyers in Japanese. Things are not black and white and everything gets more complicated and muddled when lawyers are involved in a different country. When things are conveyed to multiple parties through different degrees of communication, everything turns into different narratives and different translations. I thought it was over and I've accepted what happened and ready to move on. Everything I post to the public about the situation was a response. If it was a month ago, it will have been different as I was angry but I was also very alone in my head. But it's not a month ago and I've accepted it. I wanted it to be neutral and private but now the whole world is involved and the public is watching every step that happens.

I am not perfect and I have faults. I had to watch my dad cry and break down in front of me for the first time in my life last night. Despite everything that has happened, please show kindness to all parties involved, there are real people behind the monitors. One of the reasons why I wanted this to be private is that the internet can be a cruel place and I knew this would happen the moment this type of notice drops. What I didn't reveal to anyone and only my parents and therapist knew was that it was not one attempt but two, which happened a few weeks after the first. My parents found me in time after searching for me for hours before anything happened. I was in a really dark place and I do not wish this to anyone. No one should go through what I went through. I reveal this now not for pity but to state that no life, no matter what, should be risked for ego or winning anything. There are no winners in this. Please don't make it like high school. Treat everyone like adults and with some empathy and kindness.

For those who wish to see receipts or documents or anything else, hoping I will reveal them, I'm sorry but these are the things that should be private and if needed, between lawyers. Revealing private documents and talking about the details within will only just make things worse and more complicated as outside parties get involved and will just hurt everyone. No one deserves to be pushed over the edge. So many people have got hurt and involved even if they were innocent bystanders. In the end, I will always be here to respond and that is the only thing I will do in public. I hope this will be the last statement I have to make.

[reasonsforhope]

"When Ghana’s parliament voted to decriminalise suicide and attempted suicide in March, Prof Joseph Osafo felt a weight lift from his shoulders.

Osafo, head of psychology at the University of Ghana, had been engaged in a near 20-year battle to abolish the law – brought in by the British – which stated that anyone who attempts suicide should face imprisonment or a fine.

“It was a very good feeling. I felt like a certain burden had been removed. I was extremely elated,” he remembers. “Then the next morning, I realised we had a lot of work to do.”

Four countries decriminalised suicide in just the past year

Ghana is one of four countries to have decriminalised suicide in the past year – Malaysia, Guyana and Pakistan are the others. More could soon follow, which campaigners say is a sign of greater awareness and understanding of mental health. Kenya and Uganda have filed petitions to overturn laws and members of the UN group of Small Island Developing States have committed to decriminalise. Discussions are also being held in Nigeria and Bangladesh.

“There seems to be a domino effect taking place,” says Muhammad Ali Hasnain, a barrister from United for Global Mental Health, a group calling for decriminalisation. “As one country decriminalises suicide, others start to follow suit.”

“It is quite unusual,” adds Sarah Kline, the organisation’s chief executive. “It’s a huge sign of progress and an important step forward for the populations most at risk, as well as the countries as a whole.” ...

A large number of laws were introduced by the British during colonial rule. Suicide was decriminalised in England, Wales and Northern Ireland in the 1960s – it was never criminalised in Scotland...

The results of these punishments can be “devastating” and present “a huge barrier” to addressing the problem, says Natalie Drew, a technical officer with the mental health policy and service development team at the World Health Organization. Health experts and advocates argue that suicide should be treated as a public health issue rather than a crime.

Criminalising suicide denies people the right to access health services and discriminates against them because of something they’re experiencing, Drew adds. Research shows that in countries where suicide has been decriminalised, people can seek help for mental health and rates tend to then decline.

Next Steps

In September, the WHO is due to release a guide on decriminalising suicide for policymakers, with explanations of how countries have managed it...

“[Ghana’s decision] should have an impact on the work ongoing in other countries, especially in the Africa region,” says Osafo. Within the past couple of months, he has set up a mental health working group with representatives from about 20 African countries, and one of the biggest issues on the agenda is decriminalisation of suicide, he says. “Nigeria is active, Cameroon is active … Kenya has joined and is doing fantastic work. We have Uganda. People have been asking us how we did it.”

Since suicide was decriminalised in Malaysia last month, Anita Abu Bakar, founder and president of the Mental Illness Awareness and Support Association (Miasa), has already seen things change. Crisis response teams and helplines are expanding, and money from the mental health budget is being given to organisations who work in the community. “This is the shift we’re so happy to see,” she says. “It was such an archaic law.”

She adds: “I’m a person with lived experience. What does decriminalisation mean to people like me? We feel supported, we feel this conversation can go to a different level. Obviously decriminalisation is not the only way to prevent suicide, but it’s a big one. I’m happy for this progressive move – better late than never. I’m excited to see what happens next, not just for Malaysia but for the rest of us.”"

-via The Guardian, July 20, 2023

[disorderedkittyx]

WIEIAD⭐️

nonfat matcha latte +160 cals

mini reeses cups +160 cals

Dinamita chips +600

9,039 steps -303 cals

Net: 630 cals

good day!!

[wisteriasymphony]

Adrien was never the type to have a solid grip on living. Even at an age where he couldn't see it—much less articulate it—the misery would bleed in through the walls. Most boys his age were at worst the kind of reckless one would expect from a developing brain. Boys were meant to scrape their knees, dislodge a tooth, maybe break a wrist.

At six years old, Adrien was moved into a room without a balcony. It would be an understatement to say he couldn't be trusted with one; Had there been room on the first floor, he would've been kept down there. But sealing the windows shut was hopefully enough to keep him from jumping off the ledge again.

"We can't send him to school like this!" Emilie has initially protested, cradling her baby boy in her arms. She was lucky he wasn't human, or perhaps there wouldn't be enough left to hold. "My sweet boy," she wept. "My precious boy."

Adrien, as pristine as the day he was made, looked to his father. Gabriel creased his brows as he noticed the boy had nothing behind his eyes. Just smooth, green glass.

[kittzuxp]

Twomp oneshot i wrote cuz i was feeling miserable

on Ao3

CW: denial😔, cheating, self-destuctive thoughts and suicide

Mr plant was watching the telly, well not really, he was fidgeting with his hands while he heard the faint laugh tracks playing in the background. He was almost drifting off to sleep when the front door slammed, which shook him wide awake. He titled his head to look, it was his boyfriend, Argos! He looked like he was in a hurry, sweaty and taking big shaky breaths. His eyes filled with anger.

*[what happened?] Mr plant felt a little taken aback, Argos had never acted like this.

“You tell me!” He yelled, throwing photos on his lap. Mr plant fumbled with the photos trying to take a good look at them, and was slightly disgusted by the sight.

It was a depiction of him, holding someone else’s hands and looking at them with the same passion and warmth he looked at his beloved. The person’s face was obscured but some leaves of a tree in the foreground. The setting seemed to be at midnight, a single street lamp illuminating him and the other silhouette. The photo seemed to have been taken at a higher perspective, like a window from the second floor of a house.

The other photos were about the same, but the positions were slightly different. mr plant started feeling uneasy, he had never done this with anyone, nor does he remember this happening.

Mr plant felt uneasy, he knew where this was going, he had seen enough romance shows to know what usually happens.

*[Where did you find the photo?]

“It doesn’t matter! That’s you in the pictures, right?”

*[No! I would never cheat on you.]

“Don’t lie to me! It’s definitely you!” Argos sounded tired, but also hurt. So so so hurt.

*[Where did you find this?! Who gave this to you?] He stood up, towering over Argos by a few inches, and grabbed his forearm. Argos winced and looked at Mr plant in the eyes.

“Why does that matter! It’s none of your business!” He insisted and shook his arm, making Mr plant let go of his powerful grip.

*[It IS my business if I’m the one being photographed!] Mr plant didn’t understand why Argos refused to tell him.

“I- uhm.. UGHH!! When were you planning on telling me this?!” His eyes started tearing up from frustration. Mr plant hurt to see him like this, he reached out his lanky hand to Argos’ cheek to wipe the tears. Argos’ eyes wandered on Mr plant’s face after looking away and slapping Mr plant’s hand away.

“Don’t touch me.” He muttered. Mr plant was hurt by this, but obeyed.

After what felt like an eternity of silence, Argos spoke up. Mr plant didn’t have time to think, his mind didn’t have enough time to race.

“We, should break up… this relationship. If you’re going to be dishonest.” He said again, with a firm and slightly louder voice.

“…I think..” he sighed and looked at him, “Look, I think this won’t work.”

Mr plant titled his head. Surely he misheard Argos. He hummed questioningly and brought his ear closer to Argos’ mouth.

*[hmm?] Mr plant sounded again, putting his ear closer to Argos. Surely he wasn’t hearing this.

“Mr plant. I’m Breaking up with you.” He really hadn’t misheard it. His face was turned from Argos’ so neither of them could see each other’s faces. Mr plant’s grin widened, his tears flowing hot down his cheeks. He quickly wiped them, leaving an ugly smudge on his face. He turned his face, a crying Argos was there, trying to look as if his own words weren’t affecting him and holding back.

*[You’d really rather believe some photographs than me..?] Argos was quiet, his two big eyes avoiding Mr plant, his other, smaller ones were looking right at him.

———

As soon as he had come, he had left. and Mr plant was alone.

He was too alone, so alone. He sat on his couch and waited. He waited for Argos to come back from work, like he usually did.

The hours passed, Argos didn’t come. But he waited like he always did. He never moved an inch. Soon, 2 days had passed when Mr Plant realised he wasn’t going to come back, come back home. Not HIS home anyways.

What even was he without Argos? Argos was always a very distinguishable person. But all Mr plant was was a cold monster who tried to feel human emotions and failed. He didn’t have a distinct personality nor a unique trait that made him his own person.

He was just a mutated flower from a foreign void. This wasn’t meant to happen to him. Everything that had happen. He was mad at himself, he was mad at Argos but also wasn’t.

Not even once did he think to comfort himself through this. He only blamed himself, it wasn’t Argos’ fault, he only believed at what he saw.

There were too many thoughts racing in his mind, too many for him. He thought his head might explode with how much thoughts he was having. Too many, So so many...

Your fault

your fault

your fault

His hands gripped tighter against his throat. His breaths were beginning to cut short.

YOUR FAULT

YOUR FAULT

YOUR FAULT

YOUR FAULT

YOUR FAULT

YOURFAULT

YOUR-

He gripped tighter.

His vision began to grow faint and his thoughts started to drown out. His Head started to hurt in a good way, a comfortable way that didn’t hurt at all.

He gripped as tight as possible.

He was not longer breathing, gasping for air that wouldn’t reach his lungs. The only thing in his mind were the gasps and yelps. He tried to shut them up too.

After a bit his feet gave up, he fell down and closed his eyes.

“Goodbye Argos, I love you..” He knew nobody would hear that, and took his final rest.

[thelunarsystemwrites]

My second attempt.

(...this isn't a story, or a poem or made up. This actually... is real. TW for suicide attempt, depression, use of overdosing as a metaphor, and... yeah, I'm sorry.)

This happened on June 3rd, 2024.

Monday, June 3rd, 2024, sometime around 5 pm.

Was when I attempted to take my life for the second time.

I've been feeling so... uneasy, the past few days. I thought, "It must be one of my moots!" So to every moot in my list, I checked on them. I'm glad I did, I got good and bad news from each one, I got to hear different stories, I got to offer my comfort and congratulations.

...but the feeling was still there.

So I kept asking, my moots, friends, people I've never talked to too much—How are you?

It was still there, eating me from the inside out

...And, on June 3rd... something clicked.

I was kinda thinking of it for the past couple days, of doing this. I think my posts, my demeanour reflected it even before i knew.

I was talking to someone on discord. They might've thought it was a nice conversation... I was planning on taking my life while we joked around.

I think that feeling, might've been me. Might've been my gut saying "Hey, don't do this!" Might've been myself reminding me of a promise I made to my twin. My sister, my best friends, my platonic spouse, my mum, the people I care about. The family I've made here.

...but

I tried... anyways.

Because I just couldn't see any further thsn right now, the heaviness that pushed my body down, the bad thoughts I overdosed on.

And... I didn't tell anyone. That would've been my biggest regret, because I love them all so, so fucking much. They are my family.

And my other friends, moots... I would've missed immensely too.

So... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for trying something so.... stupid. I'm sorry I didn't talk to anyone, I'm sorry I've been distancing myself, I'm sorry if I worried anyone, I'm sorry.

...But the one thing, the one thing I'm not sorry about...

I'm not sorry it didn't work.

I'm glad it didn't. I'm glad I got to tell my family on here, that I love them. That they're a family to me.

I'm glad I got to tell them good morning. I'm glad I told them. I'm glad... I'm here, I think, yeah. I'm glad, grateful for the people I have in my life. Thank you.

[uzi-vents]

tw major vent under cut‼️‼️

containing s3lf h3rm, su!cidal thoughts/attempts, self hatred, depressive episodes/depressive thoughts, e3ting disorder, dissociative thoughts/ dissociation, not feeling real? dehumanization? (not sure abt the last 3 sry.

[thygoddessouijathicc]

The After Story Ugly AU

Hey! I have a second AU! Spoilers as always and talk of suicide! Also just overall this is a dark AU! Like not good no one is having fun here there’s no real story it’s just kinda bad.

Ok so basically, right before the ending of the game, and I mean moments before, Scorpion is found in the ruins of the building. He fights back but the people who find him manage to capture him and have him sent off to a rather horrible 1800s esque mental institution.

Scorpion is badly mistreated in the asylum by its staff, and sealed into a muzzle and collar, which is designed to inject him full of sedatives if his heart rate gets too high. No one at the asylum knows his name just where he was found.

After Story Scorpion believes himself to be horrible and irredeemable and only worthy to burn in hell and is trying to escape to… you know… get the ending. He wants to be a better person and understands what he did was wrong but does not know how to actually be better and simply believes it’s not possible and that the closest approximation is for him to suffer and die.

…Yeah I said this was a pretty fucked up no one is having fun AU.

Oh yeah also this AU is in a multi AU RP server I’m doing for fun with a friend and he has been dressed up by one of the other Scorpions

He is not emo by choice but by raising no objections to being dressed any way the other Scorpion wanted. And they decided he was emo. Maybe I’ll draw him in something he’d actually choose to wear but let’s be real it would just be a dull and underwhelming version of the in-game outfit.

Oh yeah he also stuck the mirror shard in his back to have it not taken, he hates the sound of his own voice and elects to try not to talk because f this, and has a bad habit of staring people down from across the room.

Making this AU has taught me that 50% of what makes Scorpion look like Scorpion is the hair and the other 50% is the outfit so when he has neither he really doesn’t look like himself. Which I suppose is kinda the point of the AU, that he’s a shell of his former self that hates himself and doesn’t like any of the things he used to.

Anyway sorry for the weird AU. It’s just kinda here now.

[iamstargirlposts]

i wish someone would come and save me from my depression and £d just like in the movies.

[ghoulneedshelp]

please read if you are a part of DID/ADHD tumblr and/or have interacted with pika-mika, plus steer clear of them as well if you are autistic.

okay, here's the thing. i just got out of a year+ long relationship with pika-mika. they had joined a year long relationship with my current partner @skeptisystem(they'll probably reblog this). It's come to my attention that they have been blatently lying online for validation, and I feel the need to say something.

tw under the break for discussion of suicide, sh and abuse

Throughout our relationship, pika-mika was constantly using self-harm, weaponized emotions, and finances as manipulation tactics. We live in my current partner's parents' mother-in-law suite and work for their parents. At the beginning of the relationship, I split rent 50-50 with pika-mika, except for 2 months at the beginning of this year where i was extremely depressed and in a flare, and unable to work. for those 2 months pika-mika payed rent. since then, i have paid for all of our food, eating out, and any household items. totaling well over what i owed them. they held those 2 months over my head any time i asked them to contribute in any way. mostly regarding household chores. and if me and my current partner made any request regarding their behavior or messiness, they would have a full breakdown. this consisted of them either locking themself in their room or bathroom to selfharm, switching to an extremely angry and aggressive alter, or a little, who we could not blame for their actions. we believe this was not intentional at the start, but they have since gained much more awareness and control over their switches. due to this we believe that the host was intentionally leaving front to avoid the consequences of their actions.

for the past year, we have supported their littles every single day, even when pika-mika went out of their way to put themself in high stress or otherwise triggering situations. they would spend every second after work scribbling pages upon pages in their journal about how much they wanted to die, or selfharm, or how much they resented us for preventing their suicide attempt from succeeding. when my partner voiced how triggering these situations were for them, they would turn on us and accuse us of violating their boundaries. ie, not letting them lock themself in another room to selfharm, or not letting them journal. in no way did my partner or i ever request they stop journalling, just that they acknowledge how triggering these situations were.

when they were still selfharming they would spent hours locked away, come out essentially showing off their visible marks, and make my partner clean up after them. when we would beg them not to go to their very abusive parents house, and they would anyways, we would (consentually) track their phone to random parking lots, or they would turn off their location and when asked where they were, would state that they just threw a razor blade out of their car, or find them in the driveway, covered in selfharm, and leave us to clean up the aftermath and drive them home. when confronted about how much they hurt us, they would tell us it was our fault for caring about them or not letting them take their life.

we spent months like this, until they finally started with a new therapist that i had begged them to see. this helped a lot, but it did not end the abuse. they would still spend hours crying over work or their parents, and when we encouraged them to distance themself from their parents or find a new job, they would turn and yell at us, or switch to a little with no idea what was going on. for months we did this every single day.

and when they dramaticized everything we did to their best friend or therapist, they (bsf and therapist) would encourage them to continue "distancing" themself, which they interpretted as validation to continue locking themself in their room and making us deal with the aftermath. we would constantly be finding large bloody blades in their bedroom while simply trying to hang out.

this is not even scratching the surface of the hurtful and dismissive behavior we faced, such as them telling my partner that we had no right to be traumatized by them attempting suicide in our bed. they constantly used their DID as an excuse to hurt people, and would just say "well that wasn't me, so you just have to deal", something my other partner, who also has DID, never said to them or me.

this is also leaving out all of their ableism toward my partner for their autism and their own DID. they caused multiple splits and dormancies in my partner's system and would yell at their littles for being scared or upset. On multiple occasions my partner mentioned that pika-mika had done something that triggered them, and rather than just apologizing, they told my partner to just go to therapy about it and defended their actions to the end of the earth. they are also just generally ableist toward autistic people and work in ABA therapy.

i am sick of them lying to themself and everyone else to validate their shitty and abusive behavior. i stayed with them for so long because i thought they just needed help and support but clearly it wasnt enough.

closer to the end of our relationship, i was so lost in what to do. my current partner encouraged me to stick with it, so i did, for their sake. but i stopped being nice to them and letting them walk all over me. i started using their behavior against them. and while i dont stand by all of my actions, i was in no way abusive to them, especially not the way they were to me.

in this time, my partner and their littles grew dependent on each other. im sure pika-mika and their littles think i resented them for being mentally ill, but i resented them because they made it impossible for me to live without being constantly miserable and having no support from my partners. this is when they broke up with me. and it brought me relief. i felt happy for the first time in ages. i didn't really get the support i wanted, but i finally got to stop spending every moment trying to make them see how they were hurting me. because of this, they grew even more dependent on my partner and punished them for voicing any concerns.

pika-mika made it impossible for my partner to leave the house without them because they were scared they would start selfharming or attempt again in their absense, but would decline going anywhere with us other than to hang out with their best friend.

after a few months it became unbearable. my partner was essentially forced into sobriety(marijuana, nothing bad) by their parents, and that became the breaking point. we were trying to move out and gain some distance, but it was proving impossible. my partner insisted we each have our own rooms, so they would have a safe space, or a place to hide. but we couldnt find one due to finances. it was at this time my partner came to me and said they couldnt do it any more, they couldnt continue living with or being in a relationship with them. i supported this decision. they broke up with pika-mika, and told them they couldnt continue to live in the same house as them.

before this conversation had even taken place, pika-mika began to look into moving out on their own due to feeling suffocated by my partners worries, but got upset when my partner was the one to end things. originally, we thought we could continue being friends, but then they went to their parents' house again.

their parents, presumably, put pressure on them to take "their" cat with them. our cats are littermates and have never been separated. we told them we would not allow them to take him. and gave them all of our reasons for why we would not be okay with it and why he, the cat, would be unhappy. pika-mika took this as a personal attack and told us that we could not continue being friends.

since then, we have barely spoken, but they have not stopped posting online for validation for their actions. they weren't blatently lying to begin with, but now they are. my partner has not spoken to them. i have spoken to them a couple times, to voice my opinions and to request some of my things back that they took with them when they moved out. they got a new job but did not quit with my partner's family. now they spend 5 days a week in our house, and we have to practically sneak around to avoid them.

a few days ago, i brought up all their remaining food and items they left behind. presumably, this is the bullying they're referring to. i had not said anything to them, besides, heres your stuff. until they in the most fake nice way said, "Oh, you can keep this, i dont have cats" about a broken cat toy. to which i very bluntly said, "i dont want it," and left the room. that was our last interaction.

All that i request is that no one give them the validation to continue treating people like this in the future. I am done with them and dont want to ever see or hear from them again. unfortunately, i expect i will, as we are still coworkers, and they come to my home every day.

[crumbleclub]

unreliable narrator.

a short one-shot from William Afton's perspective–sort of a character study– canon to blips. notable warnings for physical and emotional abuse and neglect, s//h, and sui// behavior.

William Afton did not want his son to die.

When his favourite child– Elizabeth, of course– had died, he had not enjoyed the feeling. William was far from an emotional man, so he was surprised by how absurdly difficult balancing his work and his science became over the following weeks. Sure, he wasn't blubbering on about it for ages like Henry had been after his daughter's death– which was cute, at first, but became rather grating after the first month or so– but he did feel as if something was missing. It disconcerted him.

No matter. It was an oversight; one of the few mistakes William had made in his life. It was not going to happen again.

William Afton did not want his son to die.

Of all his children, William understood Evan the least. The boy was... strange. Sensitive. He had been alright as a baby– quiet, but adventurous– but, as he got older, the child's temperament had changed. He cried and cried over every little thing, and– while it was annoying, yes– William found it to, more notably, be confusing. He hadn't thought much of it at first– his first boy had gone through a similar phase– but the fact that he hadn't outgrown it by the time he was entering his school years was baffling.

Even so, William had treated him rather well. There was food available to him in the fridge, he was given clothes that fit, toys to play with, and high-quality medical care. Evan had been born with a cleft lip and palate– which William had paid a handsome sum to repair– and he'd required tube feeding as a baby. His mother had been wrought with the aftereffects of a turbulent pregnancy at the time, so the boy's care had fallen to William.

Caring for any infant was both tedious and fairly unsanitary, and this one had come with extra responsibilities. Still, William had done a good job. If he had grown up in William's childhood home, he...

Well, no matter.

As Evan got older and grew more daring in his exploration, the boy's father had gone out of his way to keep him safe. Nothing like what had happened to Elizabeth would ever happen again, because William would find a way to always be watching him.

The bear had been perfect. A radio, a camera. William would always know what the boy was doing, so there was no risk of him running his mouth, and there would be no repeat of Elizabeth's fate. Evan would be safe.

William had sacrificed quite a lot for children he didn't love. Elizabeth was likeable, at least, but the others...

Meh.

William Afton did not want his son to die.

The scene had been bloody. William could smell it as one of the panicked party hosts led him out to the dining area. His composure was intact, but the speed with which his legs carried him to the site was uncharacteristic.

The boy was pulled down. He lay limp in his father's arms; lifeless, but breathing.

Michael had done it, apparently. William was only a little surprised. It wasn't as if William hadn't encouraged the behavior. He wanted to see how far it would go, whether the boy had any potential, but Michael had always been just a bit too concerned with the wellbeing of living creatures for William's taste. His incessant fussing over the wounded mutt in their driveway had spoiled William's opportunity for a perfect kill. The behavior was swiftly corrected, of course, but William couldn't do those things at home anymore. Michael had ruined it.

Light bullying aside, doing any serious harm to William's things was off-limits. Michael should have known that.

William Afton did not want his son to die.

Six days. Evan had fought for six days, and William had been by his side in the hospital the entire time. He'd even taken off work.

William had been there when he died. It was a peaceful occasion, unlike any of the deaths William had seen before.

He was holding his son's hand when the breathing stopped, eyes fixed on the tight gauze fastened over a broken skull and swollen cheeks.

It would be fine. William could fix this.

William Afton did not want his son to die.

Michael couldn't be left alone anymore.

It wasn't something William had expected. Evan's death had carried the glimmering hope that Michael may have taken after his father– a delightful treat, because nobody was ever like William– but the man felt his hopes being quashed with each moment he spent with his remaining child. In response to the event, Michael had become... irrational.

William hoped it was temporary, because his patience was wearing thin. The last time he'd been left unattended, William had come home to a fairly lackluster attempt at hiding the arm Michael had made striped and bloody, the sound of something metal clattering into the sink.

It was a curious behavior that William didn't really understand, but– after a few cycles of observation, and one occasion of the boy losing control and going a bit too far– it was one that he had decided was bad.

Michael had been disobedient with the new rule. He'd also gotten more creative; more impulsive. William had to start child-locking car doors. It would cast a very unflattering light on William were all of his offspring to die in such a short span of time– and he was conscious of that– but there was something else.

William Afton did not want his son to die.

The boy quaked where he lay curled up on the couch, lip quivering and eyes on the telly. William watched from the other end of the sofa, exhaustion starting to seep into the look of dull interest that marked his features. This had been going on for too long.

Twice. Twice, today, Michael had broken the rule. William was tired from a long day of work, but he wasn't confident that, were he to go to bed before the boy fell asleep, Michael would remain relatively intact by morning. So, William sat with him.

Hours later, though, he was still awake.

William spied the clock on the wall. Four in the morning. This was getting ridiculous.

Sighing, William leaned over and tugged the boy towards him, pulling him by the back of his collar as if it were scruff on a cat.

Startled, the boy flinched, almost trying to wriggle away before deciding better of it and falling eerily still. He stared up at his father in frightened askance, voice faltering as he hesitated in questioning the action.

"Father, what...?"

William situated the child in his arms, feeling a twinge of annoyance at the inconvenience. Michael was nearly fourteen; he shouldn't need such coddling.

He positioned the boy's ear over his heart, allowing him to hear the steadiness of his father's breathing and heartbeat. This maneuver had always helped Michael fall asleep when he was a baby, and it was going to help now.

"Pipe down." William shifted, as miffed by his own actions as he was annoyed with the request for an explanation. William was as unused to this sort of thing as his son was, and he was making himself uncomfortable. "You need to go to sleep. I don't want to have to miss work because of you."

Still shaking, the boy quieted. William leaned his head back and closed his eyes, a silent request for sleep to consume them both.

In the quiet of early morning, the simplest of sentiments was the only one that rang true.

William Afton did not want his son to die.

[insteviewetrust]

Ok I don't fucking know what this is but in my head it's a "best friend's brother au", where Eddie doesn't know a thing of the upside down and only knows Steve from his past school days. Let's say his dear friend dustin, his brand new sheepie, is going to help him pass science this year (86's his year, baby). Here he meets Steve, who now lives with the Hendersons for some reason (Eddie doesn't know) and they clearly hate each other. Everything is pretty dull till Steve tries to commit. Then everything is so fucking different. Steve survived but lost the use of his legs, and Eddie just wants to be there for Dustin's sake. This came to me literally them minutes ago, and i wrote it in five. Tell me if there's plenty errors, I didn't check.

He sat on his wheelchair, looking out of the window.

"What are you doing here?" He sounded accusatory, but Eddie wouldn't know of what.

"I came to see you, of course"

"What, like I'm some animal in a zoo?"

"You're putting words in my mouth now, you're Dustin's brother, of course I came here to see how you were- even just to tell you I'm here if you need anything"

"Why on earth would you do that, mh? When did we ever talk, outside of throwing insults at eachother's back? You hate me, you probably cheered when you found out, anyway" he shakes his head as if he was convinced of what he was saying. Eddie gulped down the spit pooling in his mouth. With it, the ever present frustration that filled him whenever Harrington was near, went down his throat, bitter.

"That's not fair." At that, Steve emits one confused sound, sounding more like a wounded animal than human. Eddie supposes Steve kind of was a wounded animal, that he had always been.

"I cried for you"

And he had cried, he had cried so hard that he felt like his eyes were gonna fall out of his skull; so hard that he wanted to throw himself off the trailer roof, just to feel alive again. He wondered if maybe Steve felt like that constantly, and that was why he tried to kill himself. Eddie would've too, probably.

[girlhelpicf]

Nico’s eyes were closed, head tilted to rest against the window frame.

“I want to rebirth.”

“What?”

“Well it’s either that or existing forever. Rememberin’ everything I’ve ever seen. Js’ want everything that’s ever happened to me turn to— to nothing. Nothing at all.“

He looked so relieved just thinking about it, brows twitching to curve upwards. The way he talked reminded her of when Kayla Knowles used to go on and on about how pretty real world celebrities were after a sleepover in House 10, infatuation tinging every slurring syllable.

Annabeth thought back to all the times Nico had let his shoulders drop when he rested his head on his table in the diner, melting against the cool plastic, and wondered if this is what he was thinking about then. 

Annabeth swallows, lets her lips part for a few seconds, before—

“Are you going to kill yourself?”

Nico exhales sharply, eyes open.

“No. Can’t. I tried a lot, a long time ago but I’d get— I’d get— I just—“

His lips twitch in frustration and he balls his left hand into a fist, bringing it up to his mouth, before letting it fall back to his lap.

“I couldn’t follow through.”

“Were you scared?”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“But we should, shouldn’t we. Have you told anybody else? Does anybody else know?”

“No, and I’m starting to regret—“

“I mean, Percy was afraid of water for a long time ‘cause he was scared to drown. Lou Ellen had crazy rhabdophobia, Kayla threw up at the sight of blood for months after joining us. It’s like every demigod— it’s like our mortal side is inherently fearful of our own power, and maybe it has to do with our own societal conditioning, and you were, what, Roman Catholic for the majority of your formative years? You’re afraid to die even though that’s your domain, is it because you’re scared you’ll go to Hell?”

Then Annabeth paused, suddenly recalling how eager Percy is to swan dive into the nearest lake at all times now. She opened her mouth to clarify that though his obviously severe religious trauma and demi-godly phobias were terrible things, he in particular probably shouldn’t consider getting over them any time soon, but he beat her to it.

“Get out.”

“What?”

“Get out of my house, Annabeth.”

She gapes at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he bucks his head forward like ’Are you stupid?’

“What the fuck do you expect me to say? Yes Annie, it’s so silly how I can’t gather the courage to end my own life, it should be so easy, shouldn’t it? Next time, I should just jump with my eyes closed so I can’t see the Hudson River coming to meet me and get second thoughts.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

He purses his lips, visibly straining.

“Then what did you mean?”

“I just—“ her voice is shaky now, uncertain, “I’m sorry. I don’t get to talk to people often about how they work. I barely get to talk to you at all, and I got too… I overstepped.”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to.”

“Okay.”

“But you should probably talk to somebody. About this. You have people you can talk to.”

The clanging of the grounds bell cuts Nico off. Annabeth jolts from the comfortable chair.

“Oh, shit what’s that one for? Community circle?”

“Activity seven, I think. I’m on the corn maze.” Nico eyes her for a second, sighing heavily before he swings his legs to stand up. “Do you have…”

“No. I’m— We have Saturdays off.”

He hums in acknowledgment, and Annabeth knows this whole interaction is all she’s getting in terms of proof of forgiveness, which is fine.

[queersatanic]

You said don’t call the cops on the guy screaming outside your building and I totally agree with that, ACAB. But it reminded me of smth that happened before and I just wanted some constructive advice from someone who aligns w me politically, yk?

(Tw suicide mention, cops called)

So I was in college and my dorm window faced an ally. And one night I heard a girl run down the alley, screaming, clearly upset. And she was yelling “I’M GONNA KILL MYSELF!”. A guy was following after her and seemingly trying to talk to her calmly but it also seemed like they’d been in some sort of argument? I was scared maybe she was in danger either from herself or him and I didn’t know what to do, and was not as aware of police violence at the time, so I called the cops to report it.

I have no idea what happened as a result of any of this.

But my question is like, this woman clearly did need help that I was not equipped to give, and calling the cops was not the right answer bc I really doubt they made it better. So what should I do in that situation??

If you don’t have any advice that’s cool, it’s a hard question, just trying to see if anyone knew of a better option there.

Calling the cops on a suicidal person is always a bad idea because they just intensify the amount of danger the suicidal person is in.

But sometimes all you have in the moment are bad options because the work was not done earlier to give you better options.

If you want a concrete answer for what the best option in that moment is, it's better to not call the cops than to call them. Actually helping someone is a lot harder and probably requires work outside of and long prior to that moment.

Maybe think of it like treating an injured person. Yeah, in that situation you want to call a paramedic, but if you don't know anything about first aid and have no resources, your options are all bad ones while you wait. You needed to have gotten training ahead of time to be able to help someone.

[virtualgirladvance]

Why do you want everyone to hate you

because then theyll leave before i do something thatll traumatize them like like to kill myself with their meds after i get out of the psych ward or just break down a break everything i own that has meaning to me

its inevitable and its better that they hate me and leave for their own sake because blocking people or deleting socials would hurt them

[saszaszeszi]

VENT please minors dni with this post

Tw. Suicide attemps mentioned, suicidal thoughts, sh, ed

So here I am again. In the stage of considering suicide attempt again. Oh well even if I won't chicken out I will probably fail again lol.

I don't know what I want anymore. I think I want to bleed. Also I want to starve. Yet after all I still dare to want to be a normal healthy person.

I thought I finnaly fully accepted myself, that I won't be happy nor healthy. Yet seeing healthier people make me feel disgusted and jelaous.

Why these so called healthy people are so hateful towards mentally ill people? Why you all healthy ones want to remind me I will never be loved. That my scars make me look crazy.

I just want peace.

I don't want to remember.

I don't want to struggle with my health.

I don't want to feel worse cause of what i went throught.

Maybe suicide is not so bad? After all I will take out the trash which is my life all by myself. Throw it out.

It's not like I have any hope anyway.

Oh well, I guess I will sleep with this decision and make myself some goodnight tea.

I want to starve, yet I promised for sake of someone else I will stop. Maybe i should take an snack?