#depressing shitpost

[sparklykat-hideoutenthusiast]

I wish I was tech savvy.

I used to be. I used to know the ins and outs of my phone and computer but then it changed and I never learned the workarounds again.

Also not to mention it's been 3-4 years since I had a computer. I forgot how the damned things worked. I have one now bc this rich guy (named Carl) that my mom's working for at the moment gifted me his old computer.

I'm gonna try and learn more about how it works if I can. I just gotta force my ADHD to cooperate as well...

[cassisanasshole]

this fucking poem i made on allpoetry.com at the age of 12 (cw SH)

in honor of 2024 being around the corner i would like to announce the first poem i ever wrote on allpoetry.com at the age of 12 years and 4 months. coming up on a fucking decade on this piece in which my little awful shitty emo angsty self decided to both start and end the poem with the word 'forevermore',

You are not Edgar Allan Poe, you are a 12 year old girl

i cannot emphasize this enough. i look back on this as an adult and go what in the sweet ever loving fuck. who else was like a super fucking mentally ill 12 year old? i swear to hades, i asked for fallen for my 11th birthday. when i was about that age i drew this picture:

it was a girl drowning in some sort of body of water, with what i can only describe as a traditional comically large drowning boulder attached to her ankle. her cartoonish face stared, panicked, at the viewer--as her mouth, losing air with bubbles and all--uttered one last phrase, scribbled into a curly-q speech bubble.

"I'm going under!"

a callback to the timeless classic going under by evanescence, first track on the aforementioned album fallen.

when i went to school in the fifth grade we had computer lab. sometimes we were graced with the sweet, sweet blessing of free time. in my infantile years as i perceived it then, i did silly things like webkinz. but now i was too old for webkinz (in public--not at home) i was onto bigger and better things such as:

listening to 2012 bangerz such as starships and party rock anthem on full blast with one headphone hanging out to prove i was normal. and then, on hard days when i could not resist the temptation, pulling up evanescence and linkin park and green day and listening to them very quietly.

Nobody could know i was an emo in the making.

once middle school hit though, this was where i found myself: the troubled pubescent experience of being a girl forming kik groups with her in real life friend and random internet strangers. some of whom were our age, some of whom significantly too old to be interacting with us (we know this story.)

staying up til like...2 am! (sleep, child!) to try and convince these essentially random people to not yoink themselves.

well one of these internet friends i don't even remember his name, says all of that and then just disappears, so i wrote this poem. i guess it was what this experience stirred up in me considering i had definitely never seen his smiling face

anyway uh yeah i don't know what the fuck you're meant to take from this but

HAVE IT!

[cryptid-lucid]

Almost the 1 year anniversary of me suffering from the same heartbreak... and if there is any number of gods or, perhaps, the embodiment of fate that might be found dipping their hands into my suffering, I can only surmise that they have been very intentionally wringing my heart like a sponge and then tossing it into the garbage disposal for fun.

[emotionaleating]

when someone doesn’t wanna tell me what i did wrong and suddenly i’m 8 years old wondering what i did to make my mom mad again

[memeshost]

[ilovejaiyex2]

[everwalldigan]

Dick and Tim eating breakfast in silence:

Tim: so what was the Great Depression like

Dick: it was fine.

[majlosventaccount]

No matter how deep i go on my arms somehow it always grows together to such a small tiny thin scar like bitch that was beans wtf😭😭😭

[sunlight-shunlight]

ar lasa mala revas

[barbed-snile]

*Drops this and skitters away*

[emotionaleating]

my biggest s3xual fantasy is to have someone notice my absence and wonder about me lol

[memeshost]

[lifeloverrrrr222]

[therabbitthatpostthings]

Anyone else come to some wildly different conclusion on Ghibli movies with age?

Kiki's Delivery Service: Kid: Being a witch is so cool! Adult: Growing up and growing apart from the life you had before is a natural progression of life. You aren't losing the old parts of yourself, just finding new pieces that were there all along. Life is about changing, you'll never stay stagnant.

Ponyo: Kid: She's such a cute fish, you should always follow your dreams! Adult: Leaving home will not take you away from your family. Even when you're miles away and you feel like you're in different worlds your family will still be there, encouraging you. Parents are meant to let go of their kids at some point.

Howl's Moving Castle: Kid: Sophie's a big sister like me! I want to a princess in a magic castle. Adult (I've also read the book): Sometimes you don't find your place in this world, you make one. The people that come along with you will see you through every ugly part of yourself and you would do the same for them. Chase after that shooting star.

Spirited Away: Kid: What just happened... Adult: SHIT HAPPENS! And it sucks, life sucks but you keep going. You can cry along the way. You are being so fucking brave for even going on this hellish journey we call life. It's okay. You're okay.

[drawcupidsbow]

the secret fifth hand sign

[theeyeofeverything]

I just like to mess with his hat a lot and transforming it into abominations