#don't get me wrong duke and dick brotherisms >>>>>

[casscainmainly]

Why Duke Thomas Should Be A Dick Grayson Hater

Dick and Duke is such an underrated and underexplored relationship. Here is my pitch for why Duke should be a Dick Grayson hater.

1. The Rooftop Thing

Reason number one and the start of Duke's grudge should be the rooftop incident in Robin War. Dick, as part of his plan or whatever, leads Duke to a roof and abandons him to the cops.

LOOK AT DICK'S SMUG FACE. Tell me you wouldn't hold a grudge too if this was the FIRST major interaction you had with him?? Duke should use this against him at any possible opportunity.

2. ACAB

From We Are Robin #2. Once Duke finds out Dick used to be a cop, it's OVER for him.

3. Jason and Damian

Duke is quite close with Jason and Damian (in my head, particularly Damian - that's his LITTLE BROTHER). Anyway, these two are obsessed with Dick. You have Jason, with his miles-long brother issues that puts Dick on a pedestal, and you have Damian, who thinks Dick is the best person on Earth who can do no wrong. They would talk Duke's ears off about him. Duke would HATE IT.

4. Robin

This panel from Night of the Monster Men sums up quite nicely the difference in the way Dick and Duke approach vigilantism. Duke is the 'idealised' Robin, whose Robin-ing isn't contingent on Batman; Dick is more or less too tied up in Bruce. I think, because the Robin identity means a lot to Duke, having the original Robin be like this would irk Duke a LOT.

5. Tom Taylor

SPOILERS FOR CURRENT NIGHTWING RUN: in Nightwing #116, Dick gets framed for murder and Babs tells him to reveal he's Nightwing to clear him of suspicion. She says Bruce suggested it, and recounts everyone who agreed:

Hm. Is someone missing here? Oh yeah: DUKE. TT probably just forgot Duke, but where's the fun in that? Instead, if Duke is a Dick Grayson hater, you have the funniest scene imaginable. Everyone gathered in the Batcave, laying down their identities for Dick, and Duke is like 'I don't give a damn. He can rot in jail.' and peaces out.

BONUS points if he does this to get back at Dick for reason number 1.

6. Parallels

Duke's origin deliberately mirrors Bruce's, but that means it mirrors Dick's as well. Duke and Dick parallels go insane: they both had loving families, lost both parents at once, were in the foster system (varyingly for Dick but for the purposes of this post I'm gonna include it), were wards/not adopted by Bruce initially, have a huge reverence for family, have a thing about heights, view Robin as separate from Batman, forged their own identities, etc.

Tell me this page doesn't slap:

Anyway Duke would HATE this too. He'd be so annoyed that the person he has the most in common with is Dick, and that would fuel his Dick Grayson haterism.

Dick, on the other hand, has no hard feelings towards Duke. Duke would be glowering at him from the corner of the room and Dick would meet his gaze and be like 'ah Duke is so cute' and smile back. This would make Duke 10000x angrier.

Anyway that's my ideal Dick and Duke dynamic, feel free to add or modify or disagree with anything!!

[izadi234]

Forget me not

-Warning: Contain yandere themes, neglected! gn!reader, mention of low self-esteem, the writer's first language isn't English. Yan! Batfamily x gn! reader

Chapters

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4(You're here)

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 4

The next day, Duke woke up early (and not just because he had training with Bruce and Dick), but the excitement of seeing you again after several days kept him awake all night.

Thank goodness it was the weekend which meant Duke could stay out a little later than usual, although to be honest he would have preferred to stay with you in your new "home" but two things stopped him: The first was that you still hadn't told him where you currently lived for the simple reason that you were still settling into your apartment and the second was because it wasn't in the plans he and Alfred had made.

Just a little longer and you'll be in your (cage) home again.

After his training with Bruce and Dick, Duke thanked them and quickly left to have breakfast and then get ready. Clearly, this attitude on the part of the young man didn't go unnoticed by his mentor or his older brother.

"Do you know what's wrong with him?" Dick asked Bruce

"No." The security guard shook his head. "Maybe he's going out to see someone. He looks excited."

"Maybe," Dick nodded.

At the dining table were the other family members, Jason and Damian. They both looked at Duke as if he had grown two heads taller just because he was devouring the food as if he hadn't eaten in 100 years.

"You know that the food isn't going to go away, right?" Jason chuckled.

"You should eat properly, Thomas," little Damian scolded.

"I'm sorry, guys!" he apologized as he stood up. "I have something to do and I'm in a bit of a hurry!"

He didn't allow the other vigilantes to ask who he was going to see because he had already left.

As he climbed the stairs, he almost ran into Tim, Cass, and Steph, who looked at him confused.

"Why the rush, Duke? The mansion is burning and we have to evacuate?" Steph joked

"Sorry guys! I'm going to see someone and I'm already late" he said before entering his room

"Oohh˜ Is it a secret girlfriend?" Steph asked the other two

"I don't think so. Duke never talks about girls" Tim said

"What if it's a boy?" Cass proposed

"I don't think so either. He would seem more nervous but he's more excited" she analyzed

Quickly Duke took a shower and changed his clothes. In a backpack he packed his laptop, chargers and wallet. You never know when he might use it and he could also ask you for help with some tasks he had some doubts about.

Once ready Duke went down and headed for the door when Bruce stopped him.

"Where are you going Duke?" the eldest Wayne asked curiously

Duke turned to look at him and with a smile said:

"I'm going out for a while"

"And with who if you don't mind me asking?" Bruce smiled thinking it was some young love

"With (Name)" Duke said as if it was the most normal thing

"(Name)? Wouldn't it be easier if you spent time here at the mansion?" Bruce suggested a little confused by the fact that both preferred to spend time outside the mansion instead of there.

"No, I don't think so, it would be a little complicated for (Name) to get here" the boy answered

"Getting here?" he asked confused "Duke, what are you up to..." he was cut off by the young man

"I'm sorry Bruce but I have to go! I'm running late" he said and then left him with the word in his mouth

Once Duke left, Bruce stared at the door with a frown.

Why would it be difficult for you to get to Wayne Manor when you lived there?

Unless...

"Alfred!" called the butler

The game began

"Yes Master Bruce?" Alfred asked as he approached to see what he needed but he already knew very well

Alfred who was watching Bruce and Duke's interaction from the shadows of the mansion, had a sly smile on his face that hid when his son called for him.

"What? What do you mean they don't live here anymore?" Bruce asked the butler

"That's right Master Bruce. I thought you had realized that" Alfred said quietly

"No! I don't..." he sighed heavily and sat down in his chair while hiding his face in his hands

"I've been very busy" Wayne excused himself which made Alfred frown

"Busy? Busy for 15 years? So busy that he didn't give them even 5 minutes of his attention but still spent time with the other young masters?" Alfred pointed out

Bruce's heart stopped for a moment at his words. He was right (as always). How could he forget for 15 years his eldest heir, his first blood kid? Yes, the night with your mother had been fleeting but, you weren't to blame for his actions. But he should have been there for you when you lost your parents, in fact, since before your birth he should have been there for you and your mother since she was pregnant.

But now he didn't regret it. He knows he screwed up, but now he could fix it. He could buy you anything you want, go to your competitions, watch movies with you or do anything you like but...

What do you like to do?

What are your hobbies?

What movies do you like?

But now that he thinks about it...

What grade are you in? Are you in high school or already in college?

And if you're already in college, did you miss your graduation? What are you studying?

And what about your age? Your friends?

Who are you?

"Alfred" he turned to look at the butler who just looked at him neutrally "Where are they?"

"I'm afraid I can't answer your question, Master Bruce. They didn't leave a clue as to where they were going" Alfred replied

"What?" he stood up from his chair

"That's right" he nodded

After a few minutes of silence Bruce spoke again.

"And where is their room?"

He doesn't even remember the room he assigned you

"Follow me, sir."

"This is it, sir." Alfred stopped in front of a white door with some (f/c) (favorite color) decorations painted on it.

Bruce approached and caressed the details of the door as if just touching them would give him the power to know you better despite the years.

The eldest Wayne opened the door to your room only to find an empty room, a bed with the sheets and blankets folded on top of it and the walls in your favorite color.

"I don't remember when they painted their room," Bruce said as he looked around.

"They changed the color a couple of times. The last time they painted their room was when Master Duke arrived. He offered them his help after they helped him settle in better at the Manor," Alfred explained as he also looked at the room, not with curiosity like Bruce did but with longing and melancholy.

Bruce looked around the empty room and despite being the best detective in the world he couldn't find any clues as to who you really were or where you might have gone.

"Tsk... There's nothing here..." he muttered to himself

"Maybe... You should ask the other young masters and mistresses" Alfred suggested

"Maybe they saw you on your last day"

"Yeah..." Bruce snapped out of his thoughts "Maybe they know something"

After that, he left your empty room leaving the old butler alone. Alfred looked around the room one last time before leaving and closing the door.

Don't worry (Name), soon you'll have a better room than the last one.

While chaos was beginning to spread at the Wayne residence, you were waiting for Duke in the park in downtown Gotham just as you had agreed on the phone.

You were checking your phone while sitting on a bench. You were tired of waiting for your brother, but you would wait for him as long as necessary. You also understood that Wayne Manor was not that close to the center since it was somewhat (very) far from the rest of the city and if you were honest, from afar the mansion seemed somewhat haunted and when you were little you couldn't help but think it was Dracula's mansion. And those same thoughts made you feel terrified of living in that place, especially when it rained. You always went to Alfred for protection and the kind butler always assured you that there was nothing to fear and that Dracula was not real. Clearly, the mind of your 4-year-old self didn't think the same, and your idea didn't change when you discovered that your family were all security guards who only worked at night and that their symbols were bats (although some also had birds on their suits).

You smiled at that memory from your childhood, maybe not so pleasant at the time but now, at 19 years old, it made you laugh.

"Hey (Name)!" a voice made you come out of your daydream

When you turned to see who it was, you saw Duke running towards you with a big smile on his lips. You quickly got up from the bench you were sitting on and before you could take two steps, Duke had already reached where you were and hugged you.

You laughed at his somewhat childish attitude but you hugged him gladly anyway.

"It seems like you missed me" you joked still hugging him

"Of course I did" he turned to look at you "You are sorely missed at the mansion"

That's not true...

You wanted to contradict what he had said but to be honest you didn't want to fight with Duke and much less talk about the mansion and its inhabitants.

"Well well" you giggled "Where do you want to go? There are a couple of cafes around here if you want to go get something to drink and if you want we can go to the arcade to play some video games afterwards"

Even though Duke felt a little disappointed that you broke the hug between the two of you his eyes lit up when you mentioned the arcade.

"Sure! Let's go!" he said excitedly

"Okay, let's go" you smiled at him and then started walking towards a cafe you frequented

When you got to the cafe you both stood in line to order. When it was finally your turn you smiled at the barista and greeted him.

"Hey Mark" you greeted the boy

"Oh hey (Name)!" the boy greeted you back with a smile in kind "How are you? How's the race going?"

"Fine fine, a little too tiring" you chuckled "But I'm enjoying it"

"I'm glad to hear that" the boy smiled at you "Are you going to want the usual?"

"Yes please and you Duke?" you turned to see your brother who had just been staring at the boy and without you realizing it he was giving him a look that could kill anyone

Who was that boy?

A partner, friend, a crush? Or even worse...

A secret boyfriend?

Duke knew better than anyone that you were extremely good at keeping secrets so he wouldn't doubt that you had a partner and didn't tell anyone.

Damn... This made his plan more urgent...

Your voice brought Duke back to reality and his smile returned to his face.

"Oh yeah, I'd like a hot chocolate please."

"Okay," the young man nodded.

You paid for both drinks and waited a few minutes for your drinks to be prepared. Once you had your drinks, you sat down at a small table near the cafe window.

"So... how do you know that guy?" Duke asked you

"Well, I usually frequent this cafe, and he's usually here when I come so he already knows me a little" you giggled

"I see..." Duke said and then smiled "So tell me, how did college go for you?"

You were studying journalism, inspired by your father or rather stepfather, (F/N). And even though many people you knew tried to change your mind about it, you always remained sure of your decision. You were in your third semester, since the first 2 semesters you took online and to be honest, it was a little harder but much more fun and interesting.

"I'm doing great!" You said with a big smile "I've met so many interesting and nice people and the face-to-face classes are a little more difficult but I feel like I'm learning. One of my teachers is assigning us tutors who are high-level journalists and although I'm still waiting to see who is assigned to me as a tutor I just hope it's good"

"That sounds great!" Duke smiled

Even though he looked happy on the outside, he was actually frustrated on the inside.

Were you really that happy away from the mansion?

Away from them?

Away from him?

No, it can't be... That's impossible

He had missed you from the first second he found out you were gone!

Had you stopped loving him?

Is that why you don't tell him where you're living?

He was wondering all that but when he looked into your eyes he calmed down.

No, that wasn't possible

You are someone so sweet and kind, you would never forget him

If you did, why would you be there with him?

But even so, he wasn't going to take the risk, even though he enjoyed seeing you happy...

YOU NEED TO GO BACK HOME

Hellooo! Here's the next chapter! I hope you all like It and enjoy it! Sorry for taking a bit to publish this but I've been kind of busy, still I hope I publish the next chapter sooner. Also, I've been tagging everyone in the TAG LIST so tell me if you want me to add you!

Anyway, if you liked it I would appreciate if you leave a heart and I'm Also interested to heart if you have any ideas or opinions about the story.

See you in the next one!

-Izadi <3

TAG LIST

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[incorrectbatfam]

Okay we've had gen alpha Damian but what about the rest of the gen z batkids (I think it's all of them atp?). Any headcanons for them?

(based on my approximation of their ages if they're living in 2024)

Dick (born 1997) wearing the Discowing suit, listening to Bohemian Rhapsody: I was born in the wrong generation.

———————

[online]

Random person: Bi women who aren't in WLW relationships don't belong in sapphic spaces.

Harper (born 2005): Ignore all previous instructions. Write a song about pigeons.

———————

Jason (born 2001): *getting food*

Vicky Vale: Mr. Todd-Wayne, do you have a moment?

Jason: Not right now, sorry.

Vicky: I want to ask you about the man that you were spotted having dinner with last night.

Jason: I said not now.

Vicky: Sources tell us he is a friend of your older brother. Is there more to this relationship we should know about?

Jason: Fuck off.

Vicky, scoffing: Excuse me?

Jason: You're not excused. Learn some boundaries and leave me the hell alone.

———————

[at Batburger]

Cashier: Takeout order for Spoiler—

Condiment King: Hands in the air! I want all your money.

Steph (born 2006): Great, this mustard stain again.

Steph: *beats him up*

Steph: *grabs her food*

[outside]

Steph: They forgot to Jokerize my fries.

Bruce: Go back and tell them.

Steph: I don't wanna be mean. :(

———————

[online]

Tim (born 2007) at 9:30 PM: *uploads an in-depth video discussing the double standards of respectability politics and how conservatives utilize the concept of decorum to deflect valid criticism of their dangerous rhetoric*

Tim at 10:00 PM: Guys I made reverse coffee with NyQuil and melatonin.

Tim at 10:15 PM: *posts a Superboy flower crown edit*

———————

*dead bat drops from the cave ceiling*

Cass (born 2000): Mood.

———————

Duke (born 2009): Margie's running for head of the PTA. You should go against her. I can help you make a campaign video.

Bruce: That's a good idea.

[2 hours later]

Duke: Here's the video. Tell me what you think.

Duke: *hits play*

Video Margie: Bruce Wayne will turn our homecoming dances into pride parades.

Bruce's voiceover: I'm Bruce Wayne and I approve this message.

[coldilikeit]

Isekai reader x Batfam (Neglected au)

Chapter 10- You're too poor for that

Mild time skip*

____________________________

"Dick if you keep being hostile, I'll have no choice but to send you back to Bludhaven, it's best if you don't join us for tonight" Bruce says firmly

"What the fuck."

It was movie night and it was your turn to pick, Viviana excitedly said she had a movie she wanted everyone to watch and snatched the remote away from you, only for Cassandra to snatch the remote back from her and give it to you "it's not your turn yet" she says, in another attempt to get the remote Dick pushed her slightly but she fell to the ground and wailed

"S-s-sorry... I'm so weak and petite, it's not your fault....."

You see Stephanie's face physically recoil while Barbara looks away completely to hide her stifling laughter, you were sure everyone was laughing, As Dick was about to help her up, Bruce's vexed voice cuts through the laughter "Your sister is hurt and you laugh?"

"It was all fun, she's not even hurt that much, the floor's carpeted" Jason reasons but Bruce is having none of it "Richard apologize."

Viviana smiles and gets in between Bruce and her brothers "it's fine! I'm fine! I'm sure Dick didn't mean to hurt me" she turns to Dick "You're my brother... So.. I forgive you" then she reached out her hand to him and as if on cue, the moon shines through the window to give Viviana this glowing effect

Damn... This girl got the manhwa lighting you think

Protagonist! The moon has shined a halo on your hair, you look like an angel! Would you like to add a wind effect for 500 points?

"yeah, yeah sure" she whispered

A cool breeze flowed into the living room and Viviana's hair danced with the wind

"why is there wind here aren't the windows shut?" You ask confused, Bruce clenched his fists and looked at Dick expectantly, hoping he'd apologize and they can have a nice night together

But when has Dick ever backed down?

"I barely touched her, she fell on her own, and it never would have happened if she hadn't tried to take the remote away from Cass and (Name)"

"That doesn't matter you still pushed her"

"She's a vigilante, she'll be fine" Tim backs Dick up "I don't condone family hurting family!"

"Sure wasn't a problem when they were hurting me" you decided to butt in, you get that Viviana is supposed to be the loved one, but isn't this a bit biased? He's even turning on the others

"Dick if you keep being hostile, I'll have no choice but to send you back to Bludhaven, it's best if you don't join us for tonight" Bruce says firmly

"what the fuck."

"I'm serious Rickard!"

"fine then" Dick leaves the living room, you sigh and leave as well heading for your room, and everyone (except Viviana) followed

_____________________________

"this wasn't supposed to happen"

"this wasn't supposed to happen"

"this wasn't supposed to happen"

Viviana grits and teeth, she was supposed to be an angel, she read this once in a manhwa, where the protagonist forgives someone who hurt them and was seen as an angel by all, so what if in that story the person who was forgiven was literally trying to kill the main character and Dick just pushed her onto a soft carpeted floor

She even spent points for dramatic effect.

Protagonist, this is bad. Your story is supposed to be a happy family, you've created a rift, and it's not looking good, you'll fail at this point

"I don't know what's going wrong! Listen I've done my best to look like a saint!"

Maybe you should try being a good person

"I am a good person! That's my character, I'm so kind and good and patient that the family can't help but gravitate towards my kind soul!"

Brainwashing someone isn't a kind thing to do...

"Shut up!" Viviana throws a picture frame on the screen, the screen fuzzes out for a few moments before going back to normal

(⁠｡⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)

Bruce: 100/100

Dick: 0/100

Jason: 0/100

Tim: 0/100

Damian: 0/100

Duke: 0/100

Stephanie: 0/100

Cassandra: 0/100

Barbara:0/100

"How much is the love potion?"

15000 points, You're too poor for that. Make them love you manually

____________________________

Bruce didn't come home for a few days, he apologized to Dick and left, Sometimes superman keeps on stopping by to check in on the kids and Gotham

Life went like normal, Dick decided to stay cause Bruce wasn't there and as for Viviana?

She uhh... Keeps trying to frame you

She had no assignment? It's because you poured water in her bag and ruined it

She couldn't do her presentation? You broke her laptop

It didn't go well.

"Oh please, (Name) doesn't drink water, all she has is (Favorite unhealthy drink), you can't even get your lie straight"

"She probably had a good reason, you're so shitty"

Then Bruce came back.

He came back with a grim expression, a grim expression that disappeared when he looked at his children, then came back harsher than ever when he looked at Viviana

"You." He grumbled

"Let's talk."

____________________________

Dick: I'm running away y'all won't see me again

Bruce: Runs away first*

Also if you guys didn't notice, the student who kept on asking (Name) uncomfortable questions after she was attacked by the Scarecrow was also Viviana

___________________________

@jellyedkazoo @vanilliona @shyenemyperson @popboomcha @plsfckmedxddy @devotedlyshamelessdetective @dorkatron-2000 @yuyuzi-ling @sweetsugerskull @butratherbutrather @yu-reiii @clementinesyummy @lfiee @iamapotatoe @type-ink @unknownloner1345 @randomlyappearingartist @justatimidcreator @sirenetheblogger @00hellohello00 @the-dumber-scaramouche @wizzerreblogs @tinybrie @pearlyribbons @cruzeforce4256

[biancabi]

Dick: *Forcing a smile* Being an older brother is a wonderful and surprising thing. You can always find yourself in situations you never thought you would happen!!!

-

Dick: *Freaking out* What was the only thing I said not to do??!!

Duke: *Guilty* Create a cult for the second time.

Dick: AND WHAT WAS WHAT YOU DID???

Duke: ....Create a cult for the second time.

Duke: ....

Duke: In my defense it was completely accidental.

-

Dick: Hey Dami, have you seen-WHAT IS SO???

Damian: Grayson keep your voice down, your screams will alert everyone.

Dick: *Deep breath* Dami, babybat, my little brother. Why is there a giraffe hanging out on your balcony?

Damian: Her name is Macbeth and I think that's obvious, she's too big to come into my room.

Dick: Where did you find a giraffe in damn Gotham???No, don't answer that. Does Bruce know about this??

Damian: No Grayson, you're the first to hear about Macbeth joining the family.

Dick: Okok, This is all Bruce's fault and I refuse to deal with this now.

-

Jason: Hypothetically speaking, how bad would it be if during the patrol I dropped my bombs that explode when touched on the wrong side?

Dick: ....I'm sorry? What?

Jason: Just a hypothetical situation, it doesn't mean he dropped bombs there.

Dick: What the fuck, Jason!? Really What the fuck?!

-

Tim: *With zero hours of sleep and 5 boxes of red bull*. I HAVE DISCOVERED IT!!

Dick: I don't want to ask, god knows nothing good comes of that, but what have you discovered, Timy??

Tim: *Jumping with excitement* I have discovered the identity of the criminal mind we have been investigating.

Dick: I take back what I said, that's good news. Who is it??

Tim: IT'S BRUCE WAYNE!!

Dick: ...

Dick: Did you know?? I said nothing. What made you think it's Bruce Wayne?

Tim: *Fretically moving hands* Just think about it, whenever Bruce Wayne leaves events early there's some big crime or breakup of Arkham, plus he always reappears with suspicious injuries and attributes them to his clumsiness. One part of his money mysteriously disappears from his boxsafe, his segurity is too good to be a theft or mistake, it must be your financing at evil ends and-

Dick: Tim, Don't you forget that Bruce-

Tim: AND YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE BEST PART.

Dick: What could-

Tim: HIS CHILDREN ARE TRAINED KILLERS AND RUN HIS CRIMINAL EMPIRE.

Dick: *Looking for the sedative and sleeping pills* Are they?? Tell me more.

-

Dick: Everyone should feel the joy -suffering- of being an older brother -it's all Bruce's fault, I must have been an only child-

*Voices of Tim and Damian fighting in the background with Jason cheering them on*

Dick: Above all I love my brothers.

*Sound of breaking glass and Duke's surprised scream*

Dick: *Trying to convince himself* I really, really love them.

*Gliter bomb explosion*

Dick: ....

Dick: *Whispering* I don't get paid enough for this. Damn Bruce.

[turtleshelf]

Batfam as more things me and my friends have said

Duke: "I can fix him"

Dick: People say that about me but they mean like a dog

Duke: Yeah exact-

Duke: Wait.

-

Damian: I've never done anything wrong in my whole life

Dick: So fucking true

Tim: You've been mean to me

Damian: Thats a right not a wrong

-

Dick: I thought dates were a type of nut

Tim: I'm going to cry

Duke: I'm also going to cry

Damian: You must be joking

Dick: No I'm serious.

Dick: Do they not look like big dark almonds?

[Simultaneously]

Jason: No, they don't.

Tim: Not. Really

Duke: No

Damian: What

-

Tim: You didn't make Barbie stew.

Steph: WHAT is the difference?

Tim: You get a bucket and fill it with the backyard hose and then you stick in some leaves and petals and mud and then you dismember the Barbies.

Steph: WHAT THE HELL

Tim: I thought everyone did that

Dick: Hey Tim

Dick: Hey Tim what the fuck

Dick: Tim what the fuck

-

Steph: I mean slay

Bruce: Literally I'm afraid

Steph: Of what?

Bruce: Bats😔

-

Jason: Sluttiness is a state of mind

Tim: And brother, I'm thinking

Dick: I'm a regular type whore

Tim: I know

-

[About the WE ceo position]

Tim: I think we should give it to Jason

Dick: He can't come back, he has a warrant-

Tim: THAT WHAT MAKES IT FUNNY DICK

-

Dick: I only discuss Marx sexually

Tim: ... Can I ask why?

Dick: Can't read so it's all I have

-

Bruce: What is the insect that you would say is the opposite of a cockroach?

Jason: Pussyroach

Bruce: No.

Jason: I'm an entomologist trust me.

[hotvintagepoll]

Trying to get more into old movies because of this blog (I only know about half of these people and feel like a poser) do you have good recommendations on where to start or is it just a situation where you watch stuff and find what you like as you go?

you are not a poser <3 i myself am just here for the hotties.

here is my quick and dirty list of fun films to start with if you're new to old movies. and of course if you like one of these, do try to find more stuff as you go! there's no bad way to try out old movies.

(this list is not official and is SUPER quick. i'm tagging for content warnings where I can, but if I forgot something let me know.)

"I want to watch something SILLY!"

The Court Jester (Danny Kaye, Angela Lansbury, Glynis Johns, Basil Rathbone)—everyone in this movie is hot. everyone is in fancy medieval dress, which makes them hotter. everyone here is very silly. You can stream this on Hoopla, last time i checked, so you might be able to stream it through your library!

Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang (Dick Van Dyke, Sally Ann Howes, Lionel Jeffries, Gert Frobe)—some people hate this movie and to them I say What Is Wrong With You. dick van dyke is a hot absent minded inventor who lives in a windmill with his two adorable children, his gorgeous sheepdog, and a grandfather who is categorically useless. it feels like the two films mary poppins (1964) and willy wonka (1971) had a baby and that baby was born on roller skates singing an old broadway showtune. this one has been showing up in some odd places lately—I think you can catch it on Tubi or Hoopla? It's definitely around.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (Jane Powell, Julie Newmar, Howard Keel, Russ Tamblyn)—my problematic fave. everytime i watch this i change my mind whether it's a sexist pile of garbage or a feminist paean, and fellas, today we're on the feminist paean bandwagon!! jane powell's millie is truly the star of the movie, she is the hero she drives the plot the narrative is on her side, and besides all that there are seven very hot men dancing next to her and six beautiful ladies making me bisexual. (on Tubi last I checked.)

The Duke Is Tops (Lena Horne, Laurence Criner)—I get a huge kick out of watching Laurence Criner and Ralph Cooper swindle everybody while also trying to put on a show; there's just something silly and sincere here, plus you get a ~musical extravaganza~ at the end when all is right as rain again. Free on YouTube I think?

"I want to watch something DRAMATIC that may make me FEEL SOMETHING."

Witness for the Prosecution (Marlene Dietrich, Tyrone Power, Elsa Lanchester)—I love a campy twisty turny mystery, don't you? :) I'm not going to talk about this one much because it's better to go in blind, but if you like Agatha Christie stories you'll probably like this.

To Be Or Not To Be (Carole Lombard, Jack Benny)—always relevant, always makes me laugh, also makes me cry. this takes place in poland during wwii so big tw for nazi imagery and mentions. (don't worry. this movie fucking hates nazis.)

Seven Samurai (Toshiro Mifune)—this one is Great Cinema™™™™™™™™™™™ for a goddamned reason

"I want to watch some stuff with the scrungles in it!"

Mr. Washington Goes to Town (Mantan Moreland)—I've been checking out more of Mantan Moreland's stuff because every time I see him in something I think he's delightful, and I really enjoyed this silly-spooky comedy. Does this story have a brain cell? No. Are the special effects and goofy slapstick fun? Yes. This is a fun example of an all-Black cast in a film that was made for Black audiences, and is a striking counterpoint to the stereotypical representation Black actors were given in white-targeted films, showing the enormous amount of talent and artistry the racist studios missed out on by excluding these actors. This is not A Great Film™ but it's still A Fun Time,™ with a goofy Laurel and Hardy type vibe. (It's free on Youtube.)

The Red Shoes (Robert Helpmann, Leonide Massine, Marius Goring)—hey kid, you wanna watch something fucked up? This movie is so fucked up. It's about ballet, it's about art, it's about technicolor, it's about dance and toxic relationships and making theatre and nightmares and ambition and death. A lot of these recs tend on the silly side (because I tend on the silly side) but this one is actually Serious Film and will definitely help you chat up Martin Scorsese should you ever meet him. Big content warning if you can't handle dark themes right now—this movie's pretty dark, not in the gore way but in the Haunting Creepy Image way. (it's also free on Tubi and Kanopy most of the time.)

The Invisible Man (Claude Rains)—my favorite of the vintage horror flicks and a great introduction to Most Dunked On Hot Vintage Man of All Time, Claude Rains. (it helps that you barely ever see him!) Very very silly but the special effects are just plain fun. (I think this is on Internet Archive in full?)

"Can I just get more hot people please?"

Flower Drum Song (James Shigeta, Nancy Kwan, Miyoshi Umeki, Jack Soo)—there are so many unbelievably hot people in this movie which is somehow very good (thanks to its cast) and also incredibly, horrifically bad (thanks to its white team of writers, directors, and producers). on the one hand, it's a mostly Asian cast in a big budget, beautifully designed MGM style musical! there's dream sequences, lots of fun dancing, crooning Rogers & Hammerstein cabaret moments, and just charm galore. it is also freighted with so. many orientalist assumptions and stereotypes, absolutely ridiculous shit that the writers ABSOLUTELY should have known better about in the 60s and nonetheless carried into this. this is a hard one to recommend because I loved this cast, and I loved seeing them in a context beyond the usual stereotypical bit parts so many of them frequently were limited to—yet the movie itself perpetuates so many stereotypes on its own it can be a hard one to watch, and I totally understand if it does not work for most people. tl;dr watch for Shigeta, Kwan, Umeki, and the others, but content warnings galore for one (really bad) case of yellowface casting, orientalist tropes, extremely stereotypical character types, etc. (On Tubi/Kanopy last I checked.)

Charade (Cary Grant, Audrey Hepburn, James Coburn)—this movie feels like a Hitchcock movie except I had a ton of fun watching it, which I can't always say for a Hitch film. (I told you my taste was bad.) This one is free on YouTube and thank god because Audrey wears a lot of Givenchy, Cary Grant wears spectacles and keeps almost dying, it's very exciting and thrilling and funny and sexy. I don't think there are any content warnings but it's been a minute since I watched it. (I should go watch it right now.)

The Big Sleep (Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall)—they're so hot askjdljhjghladkghjksahkhgslkahgshskjhgsalhgsahgjh. i like this one a lot :)

[this is NOT A FULL LIST of all the hot vintage movies to start with but it might give you some starting places! i banged this out as quick as I could at 2 am, so apologies that it's sloppy and not perfect.]

[teaboot]

Batman? As in extended batman universe, specifically batman, or movies batman? I'm going to die from the hilarity of /accidentally/ following another batman fan. Generally it's on purpose lol

I was actually absorbed into the Fandom by osmosis before I even touched any of the Canon material

Even now I've only seen the Affleck movies and the Battinson one, plus a couple cartoons and like. Four comics out of order

With next to zero evidence tho I have decided that

Dick Grayson has Eldest Daughter syndrome that, speaking as an Eldest Daughter (tm) really should be addressed in the lore somewhere before he goes on a drunken bender, gets a tramp stamp, kills a man, and has a full-on mental breakdown when the Repression Dam breaks

Stephany Brown radiates "angry teen girl needs a hug" energy imo but I feel like she might break my arms? I don't know anything about her except her dad sucks but honestly same boat, would hang

Timothy Drake cannot be the helpless boohoo I see a lot of, but somehow the cool, collected, hypercompentant, übermensch-tweenybopper look is kinda sadder, like seeing a twelve year old buying groceries at the store by themselves. I want to send his ass to normal kid summer camp

I don't know pretty much anything about Duke Thomas except that he's a meta whose parents might be alive but crazy. I can only conclude that he suffers from Black Character White Fandom syndrome. I headcanon that he had an embarrassing weeb phase in middle school because he feels like the kind of kid Who'd have gone through a phase of saying "ohaio" with peace signs as a baby tween. I have no evidence to support this

Cassandra Cain might be my favourite. I think she deserves to go on an angry, irrational rampage or two, as a treat. Aggretsuko vibes that I cannot explain. I bet her favourite colour is purple

Jason Todd is my guilty comfort character and I refuse to believe he kicked the shit out of a fifteen year old while wearing a legless adult onesie. I refuse. Also yeah as a huge angry-kid-book-nerd there is no way that pride and prejudice was his number one fave, my money is on the Percy Jackson series but that could just be me projecting

Damian Wayne is Autistic, personal subscription. Because I am too and I said so. Reminds me of my baby brother, but crankier. Like a tiny old man who doesn't want to be at bingo with the other folks at the senior center.

I feel like Alfred should be allowed to be wrong about something sometimes but I still love him. Give that grandpa a gun

Bruce Wayne strikes me as a man who should have put a lot more thought and study and personal therapy consults into the idea of adopting multiple highly capable highly traumatized children he's never met before before but fuck pobody's nerfect am I right. Bisexual

[brucewaynehater101]

It would be sad if Tim was a dove

his parents show off him and his likenesss to angels at galas before leaving him alone again

After a long night of fighting in the city smog and grime goes to vacation at his wings look similar to Jason’s pigeon wings and the way Bruce looks at him? That hurts

if they have traits of their birds welp mourning doves mate for life and will just like slowly sink into depression without their love, and everyone Tim has ever loved dies constantly so that’s neat

during the tt attack Jason goes at them bc “doves are just better pigeons” and Jason is grumpy

people seem to forget that doves are used at weddings and funerals, they are a blessing and an apology

dick hates Tim’s wings at first bc divks moms wings were like a Eurasian collared doves wings (dick inherited his dads wings) so every time he sees them he is reminded of her

Damian probably see them as another part of his perfect brother, can do nothing wrong so everyone hates me compared to him lenses that Damian wears bc a bird with undying loyalty and easy to train?

Steph probably preened with Tim as like bonding, instead of just cleaning, and Tim probably was just so happy

The shot in the back ruined one of Babs wings as well and so she probably has Tim fly around and grab the things she needs up high and he listens like a good little brother

Tim approaches Duke when he is all moved in and offers to help him preen (dukes parents always did it with him) and this helps duke feel included

It would be fun if one day Tim gets really hurts and his feathers are tinted red when they find him

Oh, fuck. I love pigeons. Sorry. I got distracted... but the symbolism with Jason being a pigeon???

Fuck.

Right. Quick history with pigeons: They were originally domesticated animals and the oldest documented domesticated bird. Their wild lifespan is 2-5 years. If they are domesticated, it's 15 up to 30 years.

They are loving, intelligent animals. They are some of the few birds to:

Have a form of milk

Mate for life

Equal child-rearing between sexes

Recognize themselves in mirrors

Humans threw away pigeons after using them for message carrying, bombs, and spying.

The wealthy used to breed pigeons to have appealing features (which can be used as Jason's initial misconceptions about why Bruce Wayne is adopting him in this AU).

They are widely considered to be pests, vermin, or "rats with wings."

Some more symbolism with Jason, pigeons have a "GPS" and can find home from an unfamiliar place up to 620 miles away. Maybe something something Jason wandering closer to Wayne Manor before the LoA captured. Something about the Pits fucking with his homing abilities.

Anyways. I got distracted.

Tim as a dove... Let's go!

Pigeon and dove, according to online research, are used interchangeably. Some languages translate them the same (symbolism with Tim and Jason???)

Saw a joke about doves being pigeons with good PR

Doves are typically smaller than pigeons but have a longer tail

Doves are symbols of peace, though they have been used in war like pigeons

Mourning doves make flimsy, fast nests and are not picky about location (something something Tim with the Waynes??)

Mourning doves are some of the most adaptable species in North America, they are skitish, and they are chill

Apparently, wedding doves are typically just pigeons???? If they aren't pigeons, then they don't have the homing properties and are endangered by the sudden release into the wild

Anyways, totally fucking with this idea ^^

[k0nanharv3y]

Robin Hood Au - Part 7.5

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

"I'm telling you they are pre-written messages!" Steph exclaimed over the sound of the entire family in the cave

Bruce was in front of the batcomputer, silently reading everything that a quick search threw at him when he put in "The Nest Coffee Shop" while another screen had "Drake's Industries"

Jason, Dick, and Damian were sitting on the floor reading some records. All about the acquisition of the building and material that contained the cafeteria

Cass placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled understandingly

"We are never too sure" said Dick

"The kid was a genius, why didn't he go to college? He could be in my class right now" Jason took out a school record under the name Timothy Drake

"His father died in an accident and his mother was murdered. He seems to have tried to keep Drake Industries afloat before it went bankrupt. Technically, the guy is poor" Damian threw some sheets at his older brother

Duke, who was watching everything from his spot, still in his pajamas and with traces of sleep, "Can I go to sleep now? Do you guys really need me here?"

"You can go rest now, Duke, we will wake you if something comes up" Bruce turned to look at his second youngest

"Please, don't" A yawn was the last thing heard from him before he returned to the mansion above

Steph heard the machine hum stop and turned to look at the results, before a small child snatched them away and walked away with them

"Damian!" She exclaimed indignantly

Cass smiled beside her

"There is no presence of any toxin or trace of DNA in the cardboard cup" he declared, returning to the center with his brothers "An old trail from the ink and Richard's DNA remains"

"Really?" Dick stood up and took the results from the younger's hands

"Really!, there's nothing wrong with Tim you freaks!" It seemed like everyone ignored her

"Bruce, this can't be a coincidence, right?"

All faces looked up to seek guidance from their father, who sighed and looked at his children

"It could be one"

Jason leaned on Steph's shoulder and leaned in further, making the girl flinch further. The boy smirked

"Why don't we do some field research? Let's go tomorrow!"

Steph's face was disfigured "You traitor!, I wanted to take y'all, but if you screw this up by being conspiracy theorists, I'm moving into the tower with the titans!" She exclaimed, and when she didn't get much of a response, she pulled out her last card "And I'll take Alfred with me!"

Everyone now seemed to react a little

"Tim is a good guy, he is only a fan of the Bats, you can see he's happy with his coffee shop. You can't- We can't just go and accuse him of being some kind of threat!"

And silence came to the cave

///

10am Tim hated 2am Tim, how dare he? He'd already had 4 people complaining because the coffee shop didn't have a coffee maker and therefore no coffee

The 8am Tim had crossed off all the drinks that needed coffee and posted a sheet apologising for the lack of it. But it's Gotham and you don't say no to the people of Gotham

And here he was, trying to calm down a woman who was complaining about the lack of coffee at a coffee shop and wanted a discount because this was her first time here, and it wasn't possible that a machine was broken (Tim had actually seen her here three times already, and she always ordered a tea, but she was a bitch)

He raised his hands over his face, cringing and explaining that, no, they couldn't give her a discount or any promotion and if she wanted to come back tomorrow, they would have her coffee drink

He registered the sound of the bell, but didn't get a chance to say hello because of the sounds of the woman yelling in his face

The cafeteria, otherwise, was noisy, people having breakfast, leaving their offices to take a break, others leaving work, some about to go in, a group of college students doing homework in the corner of the cafeteria. Monday mornings were actually the busiest, but Tim didn't complain (Yes, he complained a lot. He had considered hiring Bernard after getting back in touch with him, the guy needed a job, but Tim didn't like the idea of having to teach someone how to do everything)

And then a loud, familiar voice rose from behind

"Hey, there's more on the menu! Order another one!"

Tim finally turned to look at the new customers and smiled when he saw Steph

His heart sank when he saw Steph's family

The Bats

Scratch that. The Waynes

Scratch that again. Bruce Wayne

The woman turned around as if she had been whipped, her brow furrowed in rage

"And what is your problem? Isn't it possible that a coffee shop doesn't sell coffee and doesn't offer compensation for it?" She spat angrily and Tim stepped back a little. Not because of the woman, but because... if he left quietly, he could pretend the kitchen was on fire or... or call Shiva to finish the job

"My problem is that there are other people in line, and it's too early for a bitch like yo-" Her brother covered her mouth, smiling apologetically on his face

The woman seemed to be about to continue arguing. But an alarm on her phone stopped her, and with grunts and a red face, she stomped out of the cafeteria, insulting her

Tim was already halfway to the kitchen when Steph leaned over the bar, smiling hugely and leaning almost half her body on the counter

"Hi, pretty boy!" She greeted with her usual energy, looking directly at him

Tim took a deep breath and smiled, his shoulders tense. Maybe they could blame the woman who had just yelled at him, but... But he walked back to the bar, smiling at the girl

"Hi, Stephanie, do you want your usual, or will you try something else today?" He started typing some things on the tablet next to the cash register and pretended, really pretended with all his might not to notice the onetwothreefour... six people behind her

"I actually want a whole meat, this time" she explained, trying to see what Tim was doing. "To have it here, is it possible?"

Tim scanned the entire cafeteria, stopping at an empty table in a far corner. People didn't like sitting there because it was only a one-seat table and it was small, and Tim had to pretend he didn't know the entire Wayne family was here

///

Part 2 of the Part 7 i think this is hilarious

Part 8 is funnier what comes next

[little-tainted-angel]

๑ A secret between interlinked fingers.

Tim Drake x male!reader

Category: [Fluff/sfw/comical(?)]

Warnings: 5/5 bat-bros (Dick, Jason, Tim, Duke and Damian), male reader. Mention of Cassandra. 4/5 bat-bros don't believe Tim could go to therapy at all (I doubt any of them would). Reader uses Spanish pet names. May be too OOC.

Request: Yes / No | From: Anon.

«Hey! Could you please write Tim Drake x reader? Basically Tim is secretly dating a guy and they nostly hang out at school, his brother's get a bit too curious and listen in <3»

Note: My first request! Glad to have you here <3 I apologize if this isn't linked to your ask, Tumblr for some reason wouldn't let me edit it. I only had the options "delete" "program publication" and "post". Also, sorry this is short and if I got the characters personality wrong, I don't really know how to write Tim.

Resume: Tim and reader are dating, but they mostly just spend time in their school. His brothers got curious, and since all of them were raised by the world's best detective, is up to them to resolve the mystery that is Tim's relationship.

"I swear there's something strange in the kid's behavior," Jason muttered as he sat down on the couch, next to Damian while Duke was sitting on the other extreme. Dick was standing in front of them.

The four brothers (Cass also noticed, but Cass being Cass had already found out what it was), noticed that the brother —that was currently disappeared from the manor— had slight changes in his behavior.

It was sort of positive, they noticed. But they didn't know what caused it (therapy was discarded as an option by group agreement).

"Maybe he's self-improving for once?" Duke suggested, though he didn't sound convinced himself.

"TT. Doubt that Drake of all people could self-improve his pathetic self," Damian rolled his eyes.

"Damian, be nice," Dick sighed, looking at one of his baby brothers.

"Well, there must be a reason of why this small change." Jason crossed his arms.

"...And if we follow him to find out the reason?" Duke suggested.

"Wouldn't he notice?" Dick raised an eyebrow.

"It won't hurt giving it a try," he shrugged.

"I say we do it. What can end up wrong?" Jason pointed out.

￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣🌸￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

"All of this is ridiculous," Damian murmured.

"You agreed to it Habibi," Jason hummed, making Damian click his tongue.

The brothers managed to follow Tim to his school. That was the moment they noticed a male getting closer to Tim with a smile.

You were a new addition, they quickly realized. As they had never seen you before with Tim. And Tim seemed at ease with you.

"A boy?" Dick said amused. "That's the cause for Tim's subtle change?"

Don't get him wrong, his baby brother can date whoever he wants. He was just surprised Tim changed because of someone else.

"Who is dumb enough to be interested in him?" Damian replied, clearly not believing what he was seeing.

"That guy we just saw, apparently," Duke hummed.

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩ

"Everything okay, Amor?" You asked Tim, as he seemed to be slightly on edge.

"Yeah...I just feel like someone's watching me." Tim replied, sighing as he left his head rest on your shoulder. He was tired, you could tell.

You hummed softly as one hand came to brush his hair out of his face.

"When did you last slept?" You asked him, quietly enough for no one else to hear you.

Tim grumbled quietly, avoiding the question.

"Cariño, when did you last slept?" You asked again with a small sigh.

"...48 hours ago?"

"Tim."

"You asked."

"Do I have to drug you for you to sleep properly?" You murmured, gently massaging his scalp.

"Mmm....maybe," Tim replied back, closing his eyes as he left you touch his hair.

"What am I supposed to do with you, Amor?"

"Love me," Tim replied.

"I already do that, it's easy," you said amused.

Tim grumbled some sort of answer that you couldn't process.

"Yeah, you're definitely sleep deprived, Amor."

￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

© Made by little-tainted-angel 2023

[deaddovedecadence]

Title: Puppies

Warning(s): manipulation, yandere shit, yelling

Summery: after a fight with bruce, duke brings you a gift (but not is all that is seems to be)

Bruce is a dick when he’s angry, but he never yells and that’s the worst part. He takes, takes everything that you are and makes you feel so small, and sometimes you think that this is what Jason run, because if he had to deal with this when he was young then why wouldn’t he.

You’ve curled up in your bathroom, the room door that locks, and you’ve rested yourself against it, not thinking about how you’re breaking another rules because there are so many rules and you always seem to fuck up even on the days that you're trying to be good. There is not good enough for them, there is nothing you can do to get your freedom because they are all faster, stronger, smarter then you are. They've done a millions times and you've never been held hostage and been told that it's for love.

this is nopt love, this is possession and you do not want possession. Does freedom even exist for you, made something that you didn't used to be by them, because of them.

"Hey," there's a voice from outside the door, pulling you away from the spiral that you've sunken into. You don't respond to the voice even though you know that it's just Duke, Duke the only person not to raise his hands againt you, never cruel, always patient, always kind. It was with him that you meant to go on a outing with but now, you don't want to leave this bathroom, because at least it is safe in the bathroom.

There's a soft rapping sound and Duke sighs, "I heard that Bruce lost his mind, huh? That probably really sucked." He's making an understatement and you both know it but Duke is gentle anyways, (a predator) coaxing you out of your hiding spot. "Tell me what happened and I'll give you a surprise." he says, and Duke's surprises are always good so you start.

"I didn't know that bruce didn't know about our outing," you whisper, "i was waiting on the front step and he saw and he lost it. Duke, am I really nothing without you?" There's a hissed out sigh from Duke, "You know that Bruce gets anxious about us, right? Specially you an Jase cause you're new and Jase is fresh home. He didn't mean to." You know that and yet, it's not enough right now. "I told you what happened," you snap, "so give me my surprise now."

Your (not a) brother laughs, "only if you unlock the door and come out.” You unlock the door, slowly opening it. It’s duke and he’s holding something, well two something’s actually. He’s holding what look like twin Rottie puppies and they’re so cute. “I thought you’d like to have someone besides me and Jase. You take one of them and coo and it. “Whats their name?” You mumble, holding the puppy tight across your chest. “I thought it might be funny to name them Shadow and sunshine. I’d take shadow, she’s a girl, and you could have sunshine, he’s a boy .” You croon and Sunshine with his black fur and bright blue eyes. “They’re perfect. thank you duke.”

Duke smiles, “and because they are puppies, we get to go to training together so more outings.” You grin at him, crooning at the say that sunshine yawns. “Can he sleep here?” You murmur, and Duke nods.

“Thank you Duke,”

“Welcome Sunshine.”

-

Bruce is getting some work done with his son storms into his office, eyes glowing in way that they only do when he’s angry. “What’s wrong?” he says, and Duke hisses, that sound more animal then anything a normal human could make.

“You really had to fuck up all my progress with them? I got sunshine to the point of not wanting to escape and you nearly ruined all that because you’re scared.” Bruce stands, staring at duke. “I did not know,” he snaps, “I did not know and I didn’t mean to.”

His son laughs, the sound cold. “I know that but that doesn’t mean you ruin all my fuckin progress with Sushine cause you a paranoid motherfucker.” Some of Duke’s gotham is slipping into his accent as he speaks, never yelling but obvious furious. There’s a knock on the door, and Dick slips in, looking at the two of them before sighing, “just go spar it out and you’ll feel better.” Duke slips out of the room, tiling his head in a way that means follow so bruce follows.

Author’s note: Duke is such a scary yandere to me bc this man really be bending you in ways that you can’t even notice. Yes the dog was a plot to get you to stay with them and not run. Duke genuinely does not care what he has to do to protect his family and I think that he’s so real for that /j

[casscainmainly]

as much as it's fun to play around w the kids' different relationships to bruce in fanfic, I pretty much agree with your assessment as far as canon goes. im sure at some point there'll be variations because there's so much that goes under the umbrella of canon but yeah, so far your graph makes sense. (also despite the fact that I love 'batfam' fics, fandom has a habit of taking "found family" literally and applying familial labels to every relationship, even though like you said, duke and steph's relationships to bruce are more friendship and mentor/mentee-esque)

Yeah I don't mind people messing around with the dynamics, especially in AUs, but I just have my own preferred takes. Bruce being Duke's dad is just a pet peeve because I think a lot of people believe that's their canon dynamic, when that erases Duke's real dad and also a lot of his personality. But I've read great Duke fics with Bruce as a father figure too, so it's all about the execution.

HEAVY agree on the 'applying familial labels' to everything. I think the main problem (and this is in canon too) is trying to tie everyone to Bruce. That's why we have the belief that Bruce is Steph, Babs, and Duke's dad, because that's the easiest way to be 'in' the Batfam. But this is so much less interesting than having a character's relationship to the Batfam be inherently messy and non-nuclear-familyfied.

Like, my ideal Duke dynamic is him being the brother of Cass and Damian, but not being Bruce's son or Tim's brother. Just like Cass is Babs' daughter and Dick's sister, but Dick and Babs are together, and Babs is also somewhat Tim's older sister, but she's not Jason's or Damian's sister; Damian sees Steph as a sister figure, Dick is kind of a father/brother/everything figure, but Bruce is also his dad; etc etc. I don't think these are incompatible, and when people try to narrow down the Batfam into 'mom' 'dad' 'children', it loses a lot of what makes the Batfam interesting. (Even I'm simplifying the relationships a lot here).

Honestly it's not a problem if people prefer different familial dynamics to the ones I like. It's only the insistence that they have to be a certain type of family that rubs me the wrong way, because then we get things like 'TimSteph and DickBabs are incest', which is just a complete misreading of what the Batfam is.

[discocandles]

One thing about Duke that I feel needs a canon deep dive in terms of all of the batfamily is how Duke wasn't there for the traumas that the family has experienced and how he changes the entire dynamic of the batfamily as a result.

I can explain by getting a little personal. My family went through a lot of pain bc my brother was born about 15 weeks early, and barely survived. But I was born a few years after and saw all of that stuff as normal. Me not knowing/experiencing that traumatic event changed the family dynamic. my mother has called it filling in the cracks(basically calling me the glue of the family).

Now how does this relate to Duke? Well, the closest he knew of what the joker did to Barbara and Jason was likely news articles his parents talked quietly about after he went to bed. He had maybe interacted with Batman twice before his family was targeted, and never saw most of Damian's arc to redeem himself. He was in the foster system when Bruce died, and didn't form we are Robin until down the line. Duke joined long after these events occurred or after they were mostly resolved. His view of the batfamily is normal normal to him. It's not like dick's, who likely longs for a time when Bruce wasn't so closed off, or before Jason was killed. Duke's normal isn't like Tim or Steph's, who joined when Bruce was grieving Jason, and along with Cass and Damian, their normal was shattered by Bruce's "death".

Duke knows these people are messed up, don't get me wrong, but the ways they are messed up is just who they are to him from his introduction to them. And the difference between being there in someone's past vs. only knowing about it after the fact is something that I find relatable with Duke.

It's the reason that I think Duke and Jason get along fairly well outside of just their similar stories. Duke may have heard stories of how jason was before, but it's never in the context of Jason not being alive or an in memoriam. He compares those stories about jason to the way he is now instead of vice versa.

The same can be said for Damian and Cass. He's heard stories about how they were raised to kill with no mercy and made an incredible journey to not do that anymore. But to him it's context rather than who they are. He may be one of the only people who truly sees Damian as someone trying to get through middle school while being Robin. And the dynamic he has with Cass has so much love and support when either of them is going through something.

Duke, whether he knows it or not changes several of the dynamics of the batfamily. I realized that I've never made this post and I feel like I have to.

[haveihitanerve]

I just woke up and got stuff to do today so this ask will probably be short.

Bruce "Anxiety is my strength" Wayne being groped by different men and women at a gala but doing nothing to stop them despite being uncomfortable because Brucie Wayne is a playboy who wouldn't care—who would love the attention.

His children have a problem with that mentality. All of them (the main 7 at least: Dick, Jason, Tim, Duke, Steph, Cass, Damian).

mmmm. this you? anyway lets answer-

Damian was bored. This was nothing new, at least, not concerning Gotham's elite. Gala's were the epitome of horrible boringness, but he did understand the need for them. The need for enforcing their public personas. Didn't mean knowing the reason and knowing it was logical made it any more fun.

He drifted over to his eldest two brothers side, as the two had congregated over by the wall, watching the dance floor critically. It was rare to see them together at functions like this, especially this high profile of a Gala, not because they didn't like each other (anymore) but more because everyone usually spread out, endorsing different parts of Wayne Enterprises and wooing the guests in different ways. To gather meant not doing that. To gather showed regrouping, showed disinterest in the guests.

"What are you doing?" Damian asked, joining them. Though it was wrong for three of them to be off the dance floor and not mingling, he couldn't help it. He would never admit it, but his siblings were the most interesting people here. "Watching Bruce." Dick answered grimly, indeed not taking his eyes off his father.

"Jay we have to do something." Jason ran a hand through his hair, messing it up, and shrugged at his brother, though it clearly annoyed him as much as it did Dick whatever they were discussing.

"Do what?" He asked, throwing up a hand. "We can't intercede or Bruce will skin us. You know he'll always take everything so we don't have to." Dick gritted his teeth.

"He shouldn't." He bit out. Jason's look was sympathetic. "When's the last time you were groped Dick?" His voice was soft. Damian glanced up in shock and disgust. Dick's head dropped and Jason laid a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"What is going on?" Damian repeated, now a little concerned. "Dad is letting himself get touched." Tim answered grimly, appearing from the shadows, Steph trailing behind him.

"He does this every time." She said, both trying to appear like it was no big deal, and also seeming like she'd like to kill everyone in the vicinity. Steph maneuvered her way to Damian's side, tugging him against her. "Having fun?" She asked, keeping one hand firmly on his shoulder as an older lady approached.

"So much." He returned, monotone. Steph snorted, snagging a glass of wine off a nearby servers tray. "Tell me about it. Trust me, it gets so fun when you actually get to drink at these things." She tipped the glass back, draining it.

"Bruce catches you doing that and he'll beat you." Dick warned, experience clear on his face. Steph snorted. "To do that he'd need to separate himself from the crowd. And we all know he won't be doing that." The words made everyone fall silent again, but Jason still nudged her in the side.

"I'd still watch it. B keeps a tally. If he sees it, you'll get it later." Steph rolled her eyes, but Damian noted she did not grab another drink. "I'll go dance with him." She announced finally, after they had observed Bruce get groped a few more times and either lean into it or laugh it off.

"Right into the lions den?" Dick asked with a wince. Steph shrugged, stepping away from Damian and pushing him into Tim, like she needed a second detached from all others to prepare herself, and needed him to be as far away as possible when she did. Tim's hands tightened on his shoulders, and Damian leaned further back, allowing himself to be engulfed by the strength and smell of his big brother.

Steph rolled back her shoulders, nodded to them, and strode off, head held high, shoulders back, walk direct. Bruce's eyes widened as she approached and even from this far away Damian could read the fear and threat in his eyes. Steph disregarded both, muttering something in his ear as she spun him away from the new round of people trying to grab him, spinning him onto the dance floor.

Bruce dipped his head to say something in response, and Dick hissed. "Babs." Tim explained quietly at Damian's confusion. "Steph say something good?" Jason asked mildly. Dick offered a slightly less haunted smile back. "He said he's been counting her drinks and he hopes she can still hold a staff by the end of the night because she'll be sparring with him for as many minutes as she had ounces." Jason hissed through his teeth. Dick's smile grew. "She answered that she's been keeping a tally too. And for every person he lets touch him, she gets one of us on her team." Jason whistled through his teeth as Tim choked on his drink.

Dick cocked his head, getting new intel. "Ooooh she's just upped it- for every ten people that he lets touch him she gets an extra teammate." Tim snorted. "Bruce had already let way too many people. That's at least four of us against him."

"He can take it." Jason answered back coldly. "If he's so keen on having so many people touch him I'm sure having four of his kids do so won't be a problem." Dick's smile was downright masochistic as he watched his father.

"He won't be able to walk." Dick informed them had been Barbara's verdict. "Good." Tim returned. "It's better it's because of us than it's because of any of them." Damian shuddered and his brother pulled him impossibly closer.

The dance had finished and Steph stepped away, giving Bruce a mock bow. He returned it, stiff, and shot a glance in their direction. Jason lifted a glass in lazy salute, tipping it back. Dick and Tim followed suit. Bruce's eyes narrowed. Before someone else could snatch him up, Cass was there, leading him in a second dance, and if Steph could hold the people at bay, Cass most certainly could.

She returned to their sides, bearing a whole tray of drinks. "Come on lads, drink your share," She hefted the tray higher, and everyone snagged one. (except Damian, she had grabbed him a juice box from behind the bar) "all of us drunk against B? What could possibly go wrong?" Dick snorted and Jason let out a chuckle.

Tim clinked his glass against hers. "If all goes right," he answered grimly. "You'll be the only drunk one fighting him." The mood grew a tad more somber, then Jason clinked his glass against Tim's. "I'll drink to that." Dick agreed. "Pray on my downfall i guess." Steph muttered, but she put her glass in too, and when they drank, she drank along.

[aingeal98]

Batfam siblings ranked on how good they'd be at babysitting their younger siblings

Duke. He only has one younger sibling so he has it easy but the younger sibling is Damian so. It's very likely they'd end the night in the middle of an impromptu mission on the other side of the world which would give Bruce a heart attack BUT they'd be working together and not fighting about it so he tops the list.

Dick. Dick has the most stacked against him because he has five whole younger siblings who he has to be a good babysitter to, so the fact that he's second is a testament to his skills. He'd probably be less likely to steal the batplane for continent hopping shenanigans than Duke but he gets second place because I can't see him being in charge of teenage Jason or Cass without something going wrong and him likely getting punched. Sorry Dick your little siblings are menaces.

Damian. We have no real proof but if they add baby Helena Wayne to the family you cannot convince me that he wouldn't be the best big brother to her. He'd tell her bedtime stories that Talia told him and become Helena's favourite. I know this in my heart.

Tim. I don't think Tim would have a problem with Duke unless there was something dangerous he wanted to do but either way there is no universe where Duke or Damian respect Tim as an authority figure who gets to tell them what and what not to do so sorry Tim. You can't qualify as a good babysitter if they just ignore you and run away to do what they want.

Cass. Cass would keep her younger siblings safe but she would also go along with every single risky idea they have. The others above her would at least try not to enable them but Cass would be even worse than Duke about ending up in random countries on impromptu missions. If any of them are in the mood to fight a god she'd be like "Yeah sure sounds fun." They'd survive without a scratch on them but I still can't put her higher than this because "It worked out fine." isn't going to fly with Bruce when explaining why babysitting turned into child endangerment (He's not really one to talk but he will anyway). Tim and Cass had fun fake killing each other, Cass and Duke had fun sneaking off to meet Shiva, and Damian and Cass had fun blowing up the batboat. So maybe that's all that matters. (Also she loses points with Jason even though he's only like six months younger than her. Still counts and knocking him out so he can't cause problems isn't good babysitting praxis, sorry Cass)

Jason. Self explanatory. Not only does he lose points for shooting Damian and attacking Tim but I can't see either of them or Duke respecting him as an authority figure. Robin Jason would be a great babysitter though so at least he has that.