#i was trying to build and then i just got distracted by zooming in and taking screenshots and tweaking my reshade preset

[warmsol]

just a guy who loves some foliage

[schrijverr]

It Just Hits Different When It’s Batman

5 times a League member heard Batman use slang + 1 time they knew where the fuck he got it from.

This fic is based off this post by @wednesday-if-it-was-tuesday bc it was just too good! Hope you don't mind :D

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: none

~~~~~

1. Flash

Barry is pretty sure he has to get his hearing checked as he speeds through a city, trying to find a series of bombs, courtesy of a new alliance of villains. He and Batman are on bomb duty, thus sharing a private com line as to not distract the others or be distracted as they coordinate.

However, Barry is very much distracted by his own partner in this whole mess, because unless he’s gotten a few too many hits to the head in recent years, he’s pretty sure Batman just reported: “The bombs look like yassified thermos flasks.”

“What?” Barry chokes, nearly tripping over his own feet as he does.

Batman doesn’t seem to notice, instead explaining the bomb, not his wording: “The casing looks to be made from plastic, likely to escape Superman’s notice. Start checking water pipes, I found this one near a toilet. I’ll report again once I figure out how to disarm it.”

Okay, questing his sanity later, finding bombs, now.

So he zooms off again, having to agree with the fact that the bomb does look like a yassified thermos flask. He wonders if he can use that in his report or if Batman will scold him for language. He has worked with the man for long enough that he knows Batman isn’t above hypocrisy.

Then he wonders again if he even heard it right. In the heat of battle, the brain sometimes does weird things, especially when someone thinks at the speed of light. Or faster.

He’ll put it out of his mind for now, maybe tell Hal about it just so he’ll have someone to share the bizarre experience with.

Clark probably has a thesaurus, he should probably also find a synonym for yassified. Does a thesaurus have slang too?

2. Green Lantern

It’s true that Barry had told him about Spooky saying yassified in that one battle, but Hal hadn’t truly believed that Bats was capable of something like that. I mean, look at him. The guy might be a weirdo who dresses up as a Bat, but he’s not a weirdo who says shit like yassified.

However, at the moment it is starting to look more and more likely. Fuck, Barry is gonna give him so much crap for not believing him.

The moment in question is Batman working with him on the stealth mission. It’s one for the Green Lantern Corps, so Batman is doing him a favor. Though Hal is starting to wish that he hadn’t done him that favor, because Batman has just said: “It looks like Luthor is being thristy for Superman again. For someone who hates the guy, he sure wants his attention a lot. That’s Kryptonian honing device.”

Hal doesn’t react, still thinking about the fact that he’s just heard Luthor, thirsty and Superman in one sentence. In Batman’s voice no less.

“What?” he says.

“A Kryptonian honing device,” Batman repeats, sounding as if he thinks Hal is stupid, not uncommon. “So he can hone in on Superman, find him. Something we need to do something about.”

Hal decides to take the smart way out and lets the whole thing drop in favor of focusing on the mission. He’s not just telling Barry, but Ollie about this as well.

3. Cyborg

Being in the Justice League isn’t much different than being on the Teen Titans. Like right now, being in a building that could explode at any moment unless he hacks into the system and stops that from happening.

Ah, good old life-threatening pressure.

Batman is fighting some of the goons in the background. They’re on their own here, with the others fighting through an army outside to get to them. But it’s mostly up to them. Batman yells: “Cyborg, status.”

“I’m getting through, but something is bugging me about this whole thing,” Victor calls back. “I think there is someone I’m missing that will allow me to crack this.”

There are a few grunts in the background as Batman fights on, while Victor starts to scan through everyone who worked for the organization, trying to find the missing link.

He is interrupted by Batman, who says: “I took a tour here once. There was an intern, Kyle Paulson, he was kind of sus. Look him up.”

For a second, Victor is thrown by the sus in that sentence, but he quickly focuses back on what’s important. Indeed finding Kyle to be the missing link that gets him to disarm the bomb. While Batman is taking out the last of the bad guys.

In fact, the whole thing slips his mind until he’s writing his mission report, going through the footage to get accurate information in there. Then he pauses again, before dismissing it. Those who trained under Batman are always prepared, maybe it’s not slang but shorthand to be useful in the moment. Or he’s trying to include him, sweet, though unnecessary.

Victor puts it out of his mind.

4. Green Arrow

Ollie doesn’t believe Barry or Hal for a second. Like, really? Batman using slang that the sidekicks are using?

Sure, Nightwing sometimes uses some here and there, but Red Robin is always very professional and Robin is closer to a Shakespearean actor than a TikTok teen. There isn’t anyone else he could have gotten it from and it doesn’t make sense with his whole ‘I am the Night’-persona.

Victor suggested it was to make the newbies more comfortable when he overheard them talking, but that’s even more ridiculous in Ollie’s opinion.

So, he’s not at all in the slightest prepared for Batman’s reaction when he shows him the new arrows he developed. Because Batman’s reaction is: “Hm, serves cunt.”

“Excuse me, what?” Ollie says, his eyes nearly bulging out of his skull.

Batman just stares at him, then in a confused sort of voice goes: “You know, it slays? It’s, you know, good? Positive.”

“Huh, what? No, I- I know what that means. How the fuck do you know?” Ollie splutters.

“I’m Batman,” is all he says. Then he walks away and leaves Ollie to stand there, still frozen in time, because what the hell was that? Batman can’t just do that, can he? That’s illegal. How does he even know that?

What Ollie doesn’t know, is that this was a calculated move. Bruce had overheard the three talking as well and decided to have a little fun. All the times before, it just slipped out in the heat of battle, but this one was purposeful.

Bruce knows Ollie would know what it meant, because billionaires Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen have done TikTok trends in the past and try to keep up to date, despite their age. Not that Ollie knows it’s him under there.

And last gala, he left Bruce for the wolves – Vicky Vale – so now Bruce is dealing psychological damage to him as petty revenge.

5. Superman (and Practically the Entire League)

They’re in a meeting with most of the Justice League members that are present on earth at the moment. It’s not often they hold such meetings, since they are a little overwhelming and tend to drag on more than be productive.

However, Clark thinks it’s important to ensure there are avenues through which ever member can state their piece and be heard. So, here they are again.

Booster Gold is complaining about always being on the sidelines and never in the heat of the action, even though he’s a great hero. He’s claiming that there is a bias against younger heroes, despite the fact that the ‘old guard’ will have to give it up eventually.

Apparently, Batman has had enough, because he gets up and snaps: “We don’t have bias based on age, we have one based off skill. Maybe if you stopped abandoning your post and being someone reliable, you might get put out in the field more often. Now stop being salty about it.”

It’s silent.

Clark is scrambling his brain, to figure out the meaning. As a journalist he tries to stay up to date on current language use, however, the only person he’s heard use that word is Jon. The boy never explained, but Clark guessed what it means. Doesn’t explain why Batman knows it.

Then the silence gets broken by a snort, everyone’s head whipping towards the source. It’s Nightwing, a newer addition and one affiliated with Batman himself. The only one there brave enough to laugh at Batman, mirthfully asking: “Did you actually say salty?”

There is no change on Batman’s face, but as a longtime friend, Clark knows he isn’t emotionless. Indeed, when he listens close, he can hear the blood rush to his face, blush hidden by the cowl.

“That was not the point of the sentence, Nightwing,” Batman counters, the name a little bit pointed on is tongue.

“Okay, okay,” Nightwing grins easily, showing his hands in surrender, an act which is made null by him adding: “Just pointing out that this is an official meeting. You’re on the record and you know I’m reporting this to the others.”

Red Robin and Robin, Clark fills in mentally, the other two known associates. Everyone already guessed that Nightwing must be close to them as well, since the younger two are closer to being Batman’s children. Now that is confirmed.

“Thank you for reminding me,” Batman says tersely, before quickly pivoting to the next point on the agenda. No one calls him out for it.

However, just because no one calls him out on it, doesn’t mean they drop it. In the weeks after the incident, whispers make their way through the halls of the Watchtower as people speculate why or how Batman came to use the word salty and how out of character it is.

Clark can hear the gossip all over the Watchtower and he’s sure Batman is aware of it too, because some brave souls have asked about. Especially when some of the others talked about the incident not being the first one.

Batman hasn’t replied yet to any of the questions or rumors. Clark thinks he likes the mystery and chaos, likes that they don’t know why the hell he sometimes lets slang slip. Even Nightwing has been seemingly silenced, never commenting with a sort of professional ease at evasion.

Nightwing is the only clue they have, along with Robin and Red Robin, but none of them seem like the culprit.

It just doesn’t make sense and Clark can’t help but have his reporter brain itch.

+1. The Batfamily

There is going to be an attack somewhere in a major city in America tonight. They cannot figure out where, so there is a nation wide stake out at all the important places. Nearly the entire Justice League has been pulled out for it and even then they don’t have enough.

Batman insists on having a skeleton crew remain on the Watchtower in case the threat turns out to be a distraction. And when it is protested, he pulls out an army of associates none of them have ever heard about to fill out the last gaps in their observational net.

The sudden introduction of about six new Gotham vigilantes, which have apparently been operating inside the city as well as outside of it, would have been the main shock if it weren’t for how they are on coms.

Red Robin and Nightwing are known as professionals like Batman, while Robin isn’t a known entity in missions, though those who have met him, know him to be serious. However, with the introduction of the others all of that professionalism melts away.

It starts about 45 minuted into their mission when Spoiler’s voice suddenly crackles over the coms: “I fucking hate stake outs, they’re so boring.”

“I know right, my ass is starting to hurt,” Red Robin – to everyone’s surprise – replies.

“No chatter on the coms,” Batman dutifully reproaches like he always does, but he sounds less stern this time. It’s as if he knows they won’t listen, but says it because it’s his role to do so.

Red Hood ignores Batman completely, idly commenting: “I don’t know, stake outs always hit different for me.”

“That’s just because you’re boring AF,” Spoiler says, an eyeroll practically audible.

“Oi, take that back,” Red Hood says, offended. “I didn’t die to have you slander my name like that!”

This is horrifying news for most of the other people stuck on the coms, however, there is a cacophony of annoyed groans as well. Why anyone would be so blasé about someone mentioning their death, they don’t know.

Until, Robin says: “Cease mentioning your death as excuse. It’s unbecoming to be so reliant on one measly event. You’re not the only one who has died, don’t be – what was it? – ah, yes, don’t be basic, Hood.”

“Yeah, Hood, don’t be salty just because you’re becoming a boring old man,” Red Robin pipes up, sounding smug. That solves the salty mystery.

“Shut up, Replacement,” Red Hood huffs. “I can talk about my death as much as I want to and you can’t stop me.”

“Hood, please, stop talking about your death, you’re going to make B sad,” Nightwing suddenly interjects, stopping the conversation before it can get out of hand.

Those with super hearing will hear Barry mutter in a shocked manner: “Is he talking about Batman?” But he is overshadowed by most of the newly introduced (and already) known Bat-associates booing loudly.

“Don’t be a fucking suck up, Dick” Spoiler hollers, only those in the know picking up on the fact it’s his name. It’s the only time Batman won’t correct them, because not everyone will know it’s a name unless it’s pointed out.

“Periodt,” the quiet voice of Black Bat supports Spoiler.

“Hell yeah, that’s what I’m talking about, BB,” Spoiler cheers when she hears the other girl.

“That was the correct usage?” Black Bat asks.

“It was, well done,” Oracle’s kind voice comes over the coms, from where she is in her lair helping with coordination.

After that it all quiets down again for about half an hour, then Bluebird breaks the quiet again, complaining: “I can’t believe I had to stay behind in Gotham of all places.”

“You live there. Willingly,” Signal answers. “And I had to stay behind too, you know.”

“They’re sleeping on us, Signal, be upset with me,” Bluebird exclaims, indignantly.

“Okay, but tea though,” Spoiler says, most of the Justice League listening in are starting to learn she likes stirring the pot a little.

“Don’t be a simp, Spoils,” Red Robin says.

“Oh, look who’s talking about being a simp,” Red Hood snorts loudly. “I observed you, loser boy, you’re the simp.”

“It’s not as much of the serve you think it is to admit to stalking me,” Red Robin deadpans.

“RR, not to be that bitch, but you’re the OG stalker, maybe- maybe don’t do that,” Nightwing says cautiously, which is apparently funny enough that multiple people start laughing.

Meanwhile Red Robin complains: “Stop laughing at me, when I did it was totally different, I didn’t plan on killing any of you.” Which is mildly disturbing

“Oi, I never planned to actually kill you-kill you either,” Red Hood protests, even more disturbing. The Justice League is starting to wonder why Batman works with the man.

“Stop with the chatter,” Batman interjects again, before it can go further. “It’s not just us on the com lines now. At least try to be professional.”

And much to the horror of the League, who could never imagine doing such a thing, Batman gets booed. Again. This time directly.

Then to add to the horror, Batman doesn’t explode in anger, like everyone would have imagined, instead he just sighs. Defeated. Batman is like a cockroach, he doesn’t get defeated. However, these kids are managing.

Batman remains defeated too, because the Gotham vigilantes continue to idly chat all throughout the next hour. They are definitely bat associated, because they never reveal any information that could be tied to their civilian identity. Instead discussing other missions, general news, funny things they saw on patrol and personal grievances with the others on the line.

If this is what Batman deals with on the day to day, some are starting to see why he would prefer the heroes of the Justice League to keep their mouths shut on missions unless it’s important.

Most try to tune it out and focus on their own stake out, though the voices keep them awake. But they notice when Spoiler’s voice suddenly becomes serious as she reports: “Sus individuals moving towards the Mayor’s office.”

“Received, getting visual on your location,” Oracle’s voice replies, also snapped back into professionalism.

Spoiler reports their appearances and currently location, until Oracle has them, running a check on them, before confirming they have a criminal record and might be thugs for hire. Spoiler says: “I am going to move in.”

Batman says: “Do not engage, Spoiler, they could be a decoy. Try and get more information first.”

“Alright, alright,” Spoiler huffs. Then adds petulantly: “I’m not gonna do it, I was just thinking about it.”

Which sounds pretty reasonable for most listening in, who aren’t of the right age group to know the meme. Batman, however, does know, because he’s been subjected to it multiple times. So, he yells: “Spoiler, no!” startling some members.

A second later, there are sounds of a fight and Spoiler gleefully saying: “I did it.”

Batman lets out a frustrated growl, but Spoiler pays it no mind and she can’t truly get chewed out, because more and more start to report suspicious individuals moving in on the targets they’re watching.

Within minutes of it starting, Nightwing reports: “They’re decoys with targets. Not the main attack, but will do damage if they succeed.”

“Everyone make sure to take out the decoys,” Batman says. “Those without decoys, keep your eyes peeled, you might be at the real target.”

“Done with my targets, moving to help the others now,” Nightwing reports seriously, before he adds: “And can I just say that I’m the GOAT. Dibs on cookies for finishing first.”

“Okay, shade much,” Bluebird says.

“Don’t be arrogant, it’s unbecoming,” Robin retorts as well.

“Yeah, stop flexing,” Spoiler adds. “I’ve wrapped up too, by the way. You’re not special.”

“Let me have this,” Nightwing complains. “You already took all my shit, let me be cool. You all used to think I was cool.”

“Yeah, used to,” Red Hood scoffs. “Then we all realized you’re a looser.”

“Ha, get wrecked,” Red Robin snorts.

“Baby bird, wasn’t I your favorite?” Nightwing asks hurt, though over the top enough to show he is faking it.

“No, sadly, that was Hood,” Red Robin replies, sounding a little like he’s grimacing.

“No cap?” Red Hood asks, surprised.

“No cap,” Red Robin confirms.

“Now I feel kind of bad for you,” Red Hood says, before some bullets are fired. “Wrapped up here, moving to help.”

Red Robin seems glad to not have to reply and none of the other Gothamites do either. With what the League has heard so far, they’re also kind of happy the topic is being dropped, unsure what to think.

Batman’s associates are among the first ones cleaning up, however, soon others are joining them and the true battles grounds – yes, there are multiple targets, these people are organized (Batman will likely obsess until he has tracked down their organization afterwards) – are discovered and heroes move in to fight them.

Throughout the battle, everyone catches snippets of this strange, newly introduced group. A group, who works well together, like an oiled machine, yet obviously made up of highly competent parts that can act on their own as well.

Like Black Bat calling out: “Red Hood, yeet,” before those fighting alongside them see Red Hood boost her into the air, so she can come flying at the terrorists.

But they also make comments about the people they’re fighting and the others that are fighting alongside them.

Signal calling out: “Bluebird is pulling some sick ass moves. Another one for her on the slay-board, Oracle.”

Or Spoiler commenting: “Okay, not to be like that or whatever, but these terrorists are kind of looking snatched.”

To which Batman sighs: “Spoiler, please, no chatter,” in a vain attempt to get them under control.

“What?” Spoiler says. “I can appreciate when they’ve at least tried to pull a fit instead of that usual para-military, ninja type BS.”

“Go off,” Black Bat pipes up again and Spoiler cheers while Batman drops it. Defeated again.

They also check in on each other, with Red Robin hissing in pain, which is immediately followed by Nightwing going: “RR, you good, fam?”

“Gucci,” Red Robin replies. “Just low-key got stabbed.”

“There’s nothing low-key about getting stabbed!” Nightwing exclaims, getting called a hypocrite by many people, while Batman is already calling for Oracle to get a visual and for a medic to head Red Robin’s way.

By the time the battle is over, the Justice League understands how different the team is that Batman usually works with. If they were surrounded by heroes who talked like that continuously, they would have probably picked up some things here and there too.

Still, it fucking weird when Batman checks over his horde, before declaring: “You were all lit out there,” causing multiple of the kids around him to groan loudly, with Bluebird calling Batman a boomer.

Clark, however, sees a small uptick in Batman’s mouth. And in that moment, he knows Batman is doing it on purpose, that he’s enjoying it. That he’s fucking with them. He doesn’t know what to do with that, nor does he think that anyone will believe it. So, he decides to share the amusement and drop it.

They’re never going to figure out Batman.

~~

A/N:

This work is going to get dated so so so fast lmao, but it’s fun rn (if ur commenting in the future, welcome to outdated slang vibes from someone who wasn’t that up to date with current slang when writing it, bc im secretly a grandpa).

Hopefully I didn’t overdo it to an unrealistic degree, but if I did, such is the story that was being told oops

Also this whole fic is just an excuse for me to write batfam banter bc I love it lmao

I didn’t include Batwing, Batwoman and Flamebird here, sorry, but writing the batfam is always so hard bc there are so many characters T-T

[neon-kazoo]

Villains I dont see very often; mute. Mute villains are the best, nothing can convince me otherwise.

One idea thats been on my mind is a mute villain confessing to the hero, either through sign language, or a perfectly executed scheme. You’re choice :))

Not sure if this counts, but I ran with it. Might try this again after I gather some ASL knowledge. Hope you enjoy :)

A Silent Movie

It wasn’t exactly easy to get Hero sat in front of the cinema screen. In fact, the planning for this trap had taken over sixth months. Not to mention the money it took to buy this building off foreclosure, and the multitude of investments into Hero-proofing the location.

It was even harder to get said hero to stop yelling long enough to pay attention to the image being projected from the back of the room. Not that their sense of hearing was needed for this experience, but Villain imagined Hero would appreciate the lack of noise-based distractions, including sounds they themselves were making.

The theater was notably large, probably the most expensive showing room of its day. That is to say, the upholstery was a little outdated. The popcorn had been swept off the floor, the swirling carpet surprisingly clean. The velvet of the seats did not appear stained, and the cupholders were absent of any discarded snacks or tickets.

The glow of the emergency exit lights were the only thing illuminating the room, and they revealed a dim image of the hero situated in the center of the third row, which was optimal seating in the villain’s opinion.

Clearly, Hero did not agree, considering how hard they were pulling at the restraints to try and exit their carefully selected theater chair.

It was futile, of course, and the hero finally stopped straining when the villain appeared a row below them, quiet as a mouse, standing with a finger pressed to their lips.

Villain retreated when the hero quieted, letting their attention shift to the screen and this special showing. Images flicked past, and Hero became engrossed in the story unfolding on the screen.

Shown was a news reel Hero recognized as the time Villain had crashed their Election Day speech. A zoomed out map of the city, marking City Hall with a red square. Grainy footage of two figures dancing around next to a dumpster. Once again the map appeared, now with two squares pasted on top. The pattern continued, and Hero was amazed.

It was an agglomeration of every moment they had spent together, every public battle, every nighttime-shady-alley encounter.

There was only one reason to collect these momentos, these reminders. It had all meant something to the villain.

The complete lack of kernels on the carpet certainly pointed to a level of dedication and commitment to this scheme.

Maybe, they were hoping it meant something to the hero, too.

Another scene zoomed out a final time, revealing all the markers spread across the city. Only, now, Hero noticed, a rather distinct pattern had formed.

Villain moved like a phantom, appearing again, this time at the hero’s side. The ropes at their wrists fell away like magic while Hero gazed at the awkwardly hovering villain. They presented the hero with a glittering object hung from a chain held loose around their fingers. It was a large ruby gem, expertly cut into the shape of a 3-D heart.

Stolen, no doubt, Hero suspected possibly from the large jewelry exhibition that had just entered town.

The screen flashed bright, and lit up the hero’s face as it contorted in surprise. They processed the scene as fast as they could.

A heart of red markers, a heart of ruby, a heart fluttering in their chest, a heart laid open in front of them.

“Oh,” Hero breathed, “Oh.”

Villain sucked in a breath.

This was it, this was the moment they got rejected because they couldn’t-

“I had no idea.”

Of course they didn’t know, it’s not like Villain had ever spoken about it.

Preparing automatically for the rejection, Villain started to withdraw their hand, cold-as-steel demeanor returning to them with all the familiarity of a security blanket.

It was so stupid of them to think that they deserved any kind of reciprocation, so stupid to think that the hero could possibly-

The hero snatched the charm from their fingers before they fully withdrew.

“I didn’t say no,” they spoke softly, and the villain’s heart skipped a beat.

They reached out their other hand, wrapping their fingers over the still-outstretched hand of the villain. Instead of elaborating, Hero pulled the frozen criminal closer, connecting their lips in a gentle proclamation.

Actions spoke louder than words anyway.

[rockyteriyaki]

TEAM BUILDING ACTIVITIES 👯

s/o to @powerful-owl for starting this meme and @disarmd for the insanely funny contribution, it’s such a delightful thought exercise! here’s my attempt:

MASCOTS!

american sports have hella mascots, so every team is tasked to create a marketable mascot that could represent them for u.s fans. they also have to build a little model to pitch the concept. there’s the williams whale sharks. the aston martin martinis. lando and oscar devise a walking papaya named penny who looks so much like a vulva oscar backs out almost instantly.

GUESS THE GRID based on clothing choices: drivers assemble an outfit they’d wear and then everyone else tries to guess who picked what. the catch is that the f1a girls did the same challenge and their answers are mixed in as well. everybody thinks doriane’s mercedes-themed picks are george’s and maya gets confused for charles even though there’s no ferrari branding to be seen. chloe’s picked a haas cap with a black skirt and we watch nico hulkenberg go through every emotion known to man trying to figure out why kevin would—???

(meanwhile the academy grid is absolutely ripping everybody’s style choices to shreds, accusing hamda of being the most basic bitch on the planet bc max chose to wear basketball shorts, etc)

PADDOCK SCAVENGER HUNT

5 teams are in on it and the other 5 can’t know what’s going on, otherwise they lose points. charles pretends that he’s too tired to walk when pierre catches him searching the top of a cabinet on carlos’ shoulders. oscar distracts williams while lando tries to get a picture of logan with red, white and blue objects in the background. yuki gets stranded on top of the rbr motorhome because daniel won’t stop using him for reconnaissance and the whole thing gets called off because max sees them squabbling on the roof and thinks the rapture has arrived.

GEORGE AND ALEX MAKE GRAPHICS

ib george’s natural talent for graphic design. the audience gets to see what a communications team actually does in motorsport (educational!) and george and alex get free reign of the entire library of press photos of eachother. george is hunting for a terrible picture of alex to edit onto a podium but ends up having a very verbal crisis about how none of the pap shots are appropriately bad and then spends the next half an hour digging himself into theeee deepest hole talking about how it’s just not as FUNNY if alex looks TOO GOOD on the podium! it would be UNFAIR! alex is squirming and trying to remember where tf he was planning on going with this zoomed-in great-gatsby-esque picture of george’s eyelids on his screen right now. george silently edits alex’s teeth out of his mouth and tries to erase the fact that he just called alex handsome like 47 times.

MARIO KART SIM RACING

im talking full immersion. sherbet land is ice fucking cold. every time they drive over some kind of giant clock or railroad or something the sim porpoises like a jackhammer. someone is standing behind them with a full tank of water for the splash sections. there’s a legitimate epilepsy warning at the start of the video. bowser puts the fear of god into lando norris.

MAX AND DANIEL DO TEMPORARY TATTOOS

i’m hesitant to allow them access to a bowl of water but i have an extremely clear vision of daniel slapping tats all over the blank spaces on his skin to the point where they overlap and he’s just got shiny plasticky tattoo skin everywhere. max would find this unappealing and also stupid until he realizes all the fake tattoos on his side of the table are replicas of daniel’s actual ones. cut to: daniel with a snake tattoo stuck in his eyebrow hairs hiking his shorts up so max can mirror the placement on his own inner thigh. daniel resembling a concussed post malone, watching max’s careful application of the ‘3’ tattoo. max does a horrible aussie accent and daniel looks like a chimpanzee seeing its own reflection for the first time. cinema.

[blues824]

Request: Hello again! Sorry to bug you but I seen The Remarried empreon your list I just couldn’t resist and wondered if I could request Navier, Heinrey, and Kosair x Layla! Reader (Genshin.) The reader is someone that is dedicated to their studies but sacrifices their precious sleep because of this. They also have a sleep deprived look to them but are still able to retain their beauty they also sleepwalk a lot but unconsciously do work and think they have been blessed by the stars when they wake up. (Bonus if you could include Sovieshu‘s reaction to Navier falling for the reader and slowly focusing all her attention on them instead of the fact that Sovieshu now has a concubine and maybe Rashta’s and Krista’s too for Heinrey.)

Glad to know you like it too! This is different from what I usually do, because most of these are romantic. Gender-neutral reader.

Preface: You are a scholar who specializes in Theoretical Astrology. You’re the Eastern Empire’s/Western Kingdom’s official astrologist, and along with capturing the character’s interest you also captured their heart. 

Navier

She has been wondering why you had not visited her yet when one of her handmaidens had informed her that you had been caught in your studies. You were trying to gather information on one of the nobles that Navier grew suspicious of and it took a lot of time trying to get into his mind through the stars.

The handmaiden went on to say that you hadn’t truly slept in about 3 days. Your somnambulism had caused a few servants quite a fright because they thought you were the walking dead. Oh, you poor thing. You didn’t know when to quit, did you?

She, as silently as she could, made her way to your tower. You had been given your own space so that you wouldn’t be disturbed while you were studying, and when she made it there she saw you walking around. She went up to you and looked you in the eye just to see them closed.

Navier knew that this was a bit unorthodox of her, but she held you by the shoulders and gently led you back to your chambers. She looked around and saw how much of a mess it was. No wonder you were having such a hard time: you couldn’t find anything. 

However, all of a sudden, you sprung back out of your bed. You looked around and started to clean up the huge mess. The Empress was shocked at how energetic you suddenly seemed. You seemed to be referring to yourself as ‘Daytime’ for some reason… she was just so confused (just as you were when you woke up to find your room clean and the work done).

By the way, Sovieshu is totally jealous of you because you managed to steal his wife’s attention and distract her from him having a mistress. Rashta seems upset because the attention is off of her and all on you.

Heinrey

He had asked you if it was a wise decision to visit the Eastern Empire when he was invited for Navier’s New Year’s Party. Unfortunately, that resulted in not seeing you for a while. Unfortunately, our lovely prince here got a bit touch-starved.

He asked around and found out that you had stayed up for 3 consecutive days. That certainly would not fly (get it?) past him. He rushed to your tower to see you for himself. Surely the servant that gave him the information was mistaken… right?

When he made it to the building, he saw how you were on the verge of falling asleep. He was about to lead you to your bed when you immediately sprung up and started rushing around the room. Heinrey watched as you just zoomed back and forth.

Eventually, you settled back down, but you weren’t done working. No, you gathered your papers, put them in order, and went to your balcony to look through your telescope. You were speaking a thousand miles a minute.

Heinrey held you by your shoulders and asked what was going on. You spouted on about “Daytime Y/N” and how they needed help. He was so freaking concerned. Does he need to call the royal physician to inspect you?

Lady Krista acts like she is friendly towards you, but she’s only doing it because she wants Heinrey to look at her in a positive light. She doesn’t truly care about whatever happens to you, as long as you don’t get too close to the Prince.

Kosair

He decided to surprise you. You both have been great friends (oh, how he wished you were more than just that) for a long time, but since he’s been traveling he hasn’t been able to see you at all. It was supposed to be a happy moment.

However, when he got Navier’s letter that you hadn’t slept in a while, he was concerned. Didn’t you know that wasn’t healthy, love? He wrote back saying that he would be there earlier than expected, and he set out immediately towards his younger sister’s palace.

He made it to your tower and saw that you were just walking around aimlessly. He ran up the stairs and intercepted you before you had a chance to fall down. He turned you around and pushed you back into your room.

Before he was able to push you into bed, you dodged his hands and ran around your room to tidy it up a bit. Then you grabbed a few papers that Kosair guessed you were working on before rushing out to the balcony with your telescope.

He went out with you, and you gasped upon looking at the stars. They never failed to amaze you, be it Daytime Y/N or Night-time Y/N. Kosair had to admit that this was why he fell head over heels for you. You never failed to make him just as excited about the great balls of gas in the night.

You handed him the telescope before jotting down some notes. You were muttering something about how this would help “Daytime Y/N” tremendously. Mans was so freaking concerned and confused, and you were too just a few hours later.

[violent-grove]

(Trickster x Reader) Starstruck No More

Summary:  Being a previous fan of The Trickster gives you an upper hand with dealing with him and his shenanigans. At first he may need a bit of a reminder to who you are, but after he finds out, it's a game changer.

Word Count: 5.1k

This place was already enough of a nightmare without your murderer showing up here as well. You still remembered the fateful day that you allowed your misguided love for your bias, Ji-Woon Hak, to dictate your utterly stupid actions. Many called you crazy for hopping on a plane to South Korea just to meet your favorite K-pop star, but as a dedicated fan, this action was anything but insane. How were you supposed to know that your bias was a mass-murdering psycho? Meeting him was a dream come true; being murdered by him was a complete nightmare. Fortunately, as you were on the brink of death, the fog took you.

The realm wasn't the greatest, but at least you were alive. Your fellow survivors weren't that bad either; you'd even made friends with some of them. Finally, you were getting used to your predicament, when the entity threw a wrench into your life, Yun-Jin Lee. 

Seeing her appear in the realm, made your blood turn cold. Hearing her harrowing tale of how she got to be there, made your blood turn to ice. Not only did she know about The Trickster's murderous attitude, she actively ignored it for her selfish desires. The shock you felt soon turned to anger, and that anger soon turned to fear. If she was here, was he here as well? You didn't get much time to mull over the new information, as the fog surrounded you, signaling the start of a new trial. 

The trial was in Blackwater Swamp. Seeing a generator right next to the shack, you get to work as fast as possible. Maybe this killer would have an off day, and let you all escape. It was unlikely, but it happened sometimes. You spotted Yun-Jin a little in the distance and waved her over to your gen. This was probably her first trial, and though you hated her with a passion, you knew the more knowledge she possessed, the more likely everyone was to survive. 

The both of you were about 75% done with the gen when you started to hear the build-up for one of your favorite songs. Yun-Jin softly tugged on your sleeve and whispered in a heavy Korean accent, "Remember that guy I was telling everyone about at the campfire? I think he's the killer."  You nodded and tried to keep working on the generator to the best of your ability, but the music kept building and building until it felt like the tune was practically blaring in your ears. Looking over the side of the gen, you see him.

Out of shock, you open your mouth in a silent scream. If there was any doubt in your mind about this being the Yun-Jin from your world, that was now gone. There was no possibility that you would mistake his face; the face of your murderer, the face of your favorite idol, and the face of the man running over to kill you and Yun-Jin. She was also frozen in shock, but you were luckily able to think fast enough to grab her arm and take her over to shack. Even though you weren't the best chaser yourself, you knew you would be leagues ahead of this newbie. You turn to her and say, "Get out of here or hide in a locker; I'll try to keep him distracted." She nodded and ran off to what looked like another generator. 

Now it would be just the two of you, killer and victim, reunited. No amount of mental preparation would have made you ready for him to zoom into the open doorway of shack with the most manic look you had ever seen. Taking a right, you fast vault the window while hearing the glass clinking of The Tricksters knives. Of course, he used his knife-throwing trick while trying to kill all of you; why wouldn't he? Looping shack had become second nature to you after all of your time spent in The Entity's realm, but his knife-throwing was making the task extremely difficult. 

Before long, you were downed from his expert aim and hooked. Luckily, it seemed like The Trickster hadn't recognized you at all. While you were on the hook, you gave yourself time to think. If you were being honest, you would say that you were a little insulted. Did Ji-Woon have so many victims that you were just one of the others? The thought almost made you feel dejected, but you didn't have time to mope; Meg came and saved you from the hook. The rest of the trial went horribly. Everyone, but Yun-Jin, was sacrificed, and everyone returned to the campfire in a sour mood, you most of all.

Before today, you finally thought you were getting a grasp on your situation, but The Trickster's presence stirred up unwanted feelings inside of you. Sure, you still hated him, but you also couldn't ignore all that time you spent fangirling over him, his past band, and his new solo career. Why did you find him attractive even now? What was wrong with you? Why couldn't you get this stupid K-pop artist out of your head?  

The next few trials for you were tortuous. Everyone one of them pitted you against The Trickster. The only upside to this was that you became practically an expert at dodging his knife attacks. Already you were above average, having watched his knife performances over and over on Youtube, but now you were so good that all survivors would quickly turn to you when they heard The Trickster's melody. 

It was during one of your many chases with him that when you finally went down, you yelled out, "You motherfucker!" With you on his shoulder, he let out a chuckle and leaned against a wall in amusement. The laugh he let out reminded you of some of his interviews: it sounded normal. His mirth gave you enough time to wiggle off his shoulder and run away, but instead of chasing you as usual, he allowed you to run and went after a different survivor. You used the opportunity to try and work on a generator. 

It was the end of the trial, and you were the last one left. Looking up, you saw Kate's body being taken by The Entity. You tried to focus on your surroundings and listen for the hatch, and soon you heard it, but Ji-Woon must have as well. When you became closer to the hatch, you also heard his tune. As you rounded the corner of Dead Dawg Saloon, you saw him there in the open, standing over the hatch. 

Figuring you would get this over with, you marched right up to Ji-Woon. Instead of throwing any knives or swinging his bat, he just stood there and watched you approach. The both of you were only three feet apart by now. Maybe he was letting you go? At first, that was your thought, before he kept stepping in your way. You had tried to keep your patience, he was once your favorite idol after all, but you were done. Looking up into his eyes, you said with annoyance, "Ok dude, let me through or kill me. I want this to be done with."

Ji-Woon only smirked before saying in English, "I just want to get to know one of my fans. Is that too hard to ask?" You knew he could speak English, but not that well. 

You take one look at him, scoff, and say, "Yes, yes that is too much to ask." Looking at the hatch behind him you ask in the fakest voice you can manage, "Now, can you please let me get hatch, Ji-Woon?" 

He did one of his deranged laughs and shook his head, "Can't I at least know your name, Starstruck?" 

Your lip arches up in a snarl, and you answer with a resounding, "No." The Trickster looked taken slightly aback, and you used that opportunity to slip by him and make your escape. 

After that streak of constant Trickster trials, you were finally allowed some reprieve. Not that you missed the other killers, but at least there was some variety in your trials again. While you felt relief at being apart from The Trickster, he felt quite the opposite. Over the many trials the two of you had spent together, Ji-Woon's fondness for your chases had grown. Out of all of the survivors, you were the only one able to keep up with his knives.

The Entity granting you a break from him made all of his following trials more and more boring. None of the other survivors' screams compared to yours. The sound his little Starstruck produced was like no other, but it almost felt familiar. There would only be a couple more trials before night fell upon The Entity's realm, and everyone would be let off the hook for twelve hours. 

With the days you've been having, all you wanted to do was flop down on the ground and sleep. Unfortunately, Yun-Jin had other plans. Just as you were losing consciousness and giving up your body for a well-deserved rest, you felt a hand start to shake your shoulder. Because you were face-planted on the ground, you had to turn your head to the right to look up at her. In a groggy and annoyed voice, you asked, "Yes, Yun-Jin?" 

She averted her gaze, and gave off an aura of nervousness, "I wanted to talk to you about The Trickster." Sitting down beside you she motioned for you to do the same. Reluctantly, you moved yourself into a sitting position and looked at her expectantly. You could tell she had put her business mode into gear by the seriousness in her tone, "How are you able to dodge his knives so well?" 

The question made you stiffen. Truthfully, you did not want to tell her about your intertwined past with The Trickster, but you could try to come up with a lie of some sort, "I don't know, I've been here longer than you. Maybe I'm just more used to dodging things like that. You know The Huntress, she throws stuff similar to how he does it." 

Yun-Jin squinted her eyes at you as if to say 'really?' and looked you directly in the eyes, "I might buy that, but there are people who have been here longer than you, and none of them are as good at predicting his moves." The more you talked with this woman, the more perturbed you became. What right did she have to interrogate you? She indirectly caused your death! 

Your irritation with the K-pop manager in front of you caused you to get up and leave, but as you were doing so, you had one last thing to say, "I'm tired, and I don't like to talk shop when I'm supposed to be resting." She was so pushy. It seems like she hadn't changed a bit from the last time you saw her, the day of your almost-death. 

You and a group of maybe ten to twenty others were being herded by Yun-Jin backstage to meet some of the performers. But you only had one performer in mind at the time, and his name was Ji-Woon Hak. After months of saving, you were finally able to buy your dream ticket: a front-row seat with a backstage tour. The feelings you got when you met Ji-Woon were indescribable. It felt comparable to meeting a god. One of the goals you had for making this trip was to hopefully get over your obsession with The Trickster, but meeting him in person made you fall in love with him even more. 

When you and the group walked in, he was removing some of the more cumbersome makeup. Immediately, the two of you made eye contact, and he gave you one of the prettiest smiles known to man. Luckily, you were set to meet him first and then the rest of the acts that performed, but when Yun-Jin began guiding the group to the next performer, you hung back and headed for the door. 

A hand on your shoulder stopped you in your tracks. Looking behind you, your heart almost stopped breathing at the sight of Ji-Woon. He gave you a gentle smile and asked in Korean, "Where are you going, Starstruck?" 

Taking a sharp inhale, you tried to call upon all of your Korean knowledge. You were able to understand quite a bit, thanks to the help of some Discord friends, but your ability to speak the language was quite lacking. Trying your best to respond, you say, "I- uh, want see only you." That Korean was terrible, and you knew it. That sentence made you want to crawl into a corner and die of embarrassment. 

Ji-Woon chuckled and said in a very thick Korean accent, "You came all the way here to see little old me?" You could only dumbly nod in response, if only you could go back and slap some sense into your past self. Ji-Woon gave a bright smile that, now, you know as predatory with your foresight, "Why don't follow me; I'd like to learn the story of one of my most dedicated fans." He led you into his private room. 

You were only given a couple of seconds to gawk at his personal quarters before you felt a stab in your side. The pain you felt from this newly acquired injury was like none you had felt before. It felt like your insides had been split open and then pried apart. The moment that you registered all of the pain, you collapsed onto your side. Your vision was blurry until you were able to focus on some shiny black boots walking your way. 

Looking up from the ground, you saw your bias, and now murderer, standing over you, colorful knife in hand. He was letting out an insane-sounding laugh at your pain. Taking deep breaths, you use your final words to shakily ask, "Why?" 

He goes to bend down as you feel your life slipping through your fingers. You see him open his mouth, about to say something, but before he gets the chance, everything goes black and you're sat by a campfire.

That brought you back to today with a hatred for K-pop and trust issues. Taking a look at your surroundings, at least you were far away from Yun-Jin for now. Finally isolated from the others, you were able to rest peacefully. 

The next few days in the Entity's realm were back to the same old routine, for a while. It was the start of another trial in the Yamaoka Estate. You knew that the generator in the house was the most dangerous, but if you could get it out of the way, the rest of the trial should go smoothly. Quietly, you make your way over and get to work.

Ji-Woon did some shakes to get rid of his pre-show jitters; he needed to have absolute focus if he was going to hear all of those mediocre screams. Instantly he spotted David and started to pursue him. Within a couple of seconds, the large Englishman was on the ground with a dozen knives protruding from his back. Picking David up and hooking him, Ji-Woon thought he heard some noises coming from the main building of this map. 

Making his way over, he spots you through the window; his little Starstruck is in the trial. Immediately after his lemon eyes saw you, he started to devise a plan. If he could kill everyone else in the trial, and down you at the end, he would have until you bled out to talk to you. 

Now with a purpose, The Trickster got to work. First to go was David, then, Kate, and that Dwight character was the easiest. While he was chasing your teammates, he admired how you tried to take chase and lead him away, but with your time as his prize, nothing would stop him. 

Again, you were pitted against your most hated killer. You had tried so many times to save your teammates, but it was all futile. It's almost like he was avoiding you. You saw the body of Dwight get lifted by The Entity and started to run and look for the hatch. Regrettably, it looked like another Dead Dawg Saloon scenario; across the map, you could see The Trickster standing above the hatch as if he was taunting you. 

Starting to trudge over to him, you accept your soon-to-be fate. After last time, there was no way he would take any chances with you, and in your injured state, you didn't stand a chance. 

Ji-Woon heard your footsteps and put on one of his best performer smiles. As he swung his bat, knocking you down, he happily yelled, "Starstruck, you made it!" The cry you made as you fell to the ground was divine, but he did not appreciate the glare that came after, "Aw, did you think you'd get past me like last time? That was a mean trick you pulled, and as you should know, out of the two of us, I should be the one playing tricks." 

Your glare hardened, and you asked, "What do you want, Ji-Woon?" 

He only smirked and said, "I'm only giving a bit of VIP time to my most dedicated fan." 

His words made your nostrils flare, your face turn red, and your veins filled with molten hot lava. With all of your strength, you yelled out, "I hate you!" 

When Ji-Woon heard those words, there was a small crack in his trickster persona, but only for a moment. His anger soon overtook his shock. How dare you? Stepping on your hand, you let out a yelp as he leaned down, "I would watch your words carefully, bitch. We still have a couple of minutes until you bleed out." 

Your determination never faltered, "Do your worst. It can never be as bad as killing me in the real world." 

Stepping off of you, Ji-Woon knit his eyebrows together in confusion and asked, "What?" Thinking back to all of his victims, Ji-Woon realized why you seemed so familiar, you were the one who got away. You bled out too quickly, and he wasn't able to capture any of your screams in his soundproof room. The knowledge made him visibly flinch. He couldn't even bring himself to stop your escape from his grasp a second time. Silently, he allowed you to crawl through hatch and escape. 

Back at the killer's campsite, beyond the forest, Ji-Woon felt something he had never felt before, regret at killing someone. He remembers your vibrant spirit that he had dampened. Thankfully, he could still feel that spark emanating from you; it wasn't completely gone. Instead of attempting to snuff it out again, he wanted to fan your flame. 

At the survivor campsite, you felt better than you had in ages. You were able to stand up to your murderer and live to tell the tale. Witnessing that shocked expression bloom on his face was more healing than any therapy session. Your fellow survivors congratulated you on your escape and started relaxing. Night had just fallen upon The Entity's realm, and you went to your Special place on the edge of the forest for some solitude. 

The next trials were strange, to say the least. You went up against The Trickster every time and every time you got the hatch. By the sixth trial, you knew something was up. The amount of luck you would need to find the hatch first five times in a row when you're shorter and slower than Ji-Woon was almost impossible. You were very suspicious, so when the hatch spawned right next to you once Jane died, you hid in wait. Luckily, the bushes in Dead Dawg Saloon provided excellent cover. 

Starting to hear The Trickster's musical build-up, you held your breath and tried not to make a sound. He was close enough that your heart was beating; he had to have heard the hatch's ambient noise by now. From your bush hiding spot, you saw him look at the hatch, then look around, and then walk away. 

Your shock caused you to accidentally fall out of your bush. The both of you locked eyes and held expressions of utter surprise. At the same time, both of you ask, "What are you doing?" 

Scoffing, you ask, "You thought you saw the hatch first; why didn't you close it?" Your eyes widen as the realization dawns upon you, "Were you doing this every trial? I don't get it! You love killing me; what would make you give that up?" 

Ji-Woon's shoulders tensed, and he averted his gaze. Faintly, he whispered, "Well, why were you waiting here?" He crossed his arms over his broad chest, "There was no reason for you to stay." 

Getting up off the ground and standing to your full height, you pat your shorts clean of dust, "For your information, I found it suspicious that I was finding hatch first every time, and rightfully so." You squint your eyes and point at him, "Clearly, you're up to something." 

In real-time you see The Trickster mask don Ji-Woon's face, "What? I can't give my favorite fan a free escape now and then?" 

You give him a deadpan look and answer matter-of-factly, "Not when you love to hear your "favorite fan's" screams of pain, no." 

The pleasant smile slowly falls from Ji-Woon's face and is replaced with a frown as he finally reveals the real reason for his kindness, "I remember the night you died." 

Your body goes straight as a rod, and your eyes quickly shift to the open hatch behind Ji-Woon. Noticing your eye movement, he steps to the side, giving you a clear out, but you don't take it. Instead, you look him in the eyes and brashly say, "So, what? You feel bad now? Yun-Jin told me I wasn't the first, and I certainly wasn't the last." Fists clenching at your sides, you don't stop, "This is just another way to manipulate one of your "fans" and I'm not buying it." 

In response, all Ji-Woon can do is give you a sad and regretful look. You used to love him so much, but he turned that adoration into hatred. Placing his bat on the ground, Ji-Woon asked timidly, "Can I do anything to show you that I don't wish to kill you anymore or ever again?" 

You thought for a bit. How could you use this manipulation to your advantage? Glancing around in contemplation, your eyes landed on a locker, or a reload station for Ji-Woon, and an idea struck, "Give me one of your knives." You held out your hand and made a come-hither motion, silently telling him where to place the knife.

For a moment Ji-Woon hesitated, and you used that moment to say, "If you aren't going to do it, I'll just leave." 

Before you could blink, the handle of one of his blades was placed in your hands, "Just don't go showing it off to anyone, Starstruck" A wink followed, "Let's keep this idol-fan relationship a secret between just the two of us." 

Your grip on the handle tightened, and your heart started beating for all the wrong reasons. Don't forget that he's a killer, a torturer, a murderer. He doesn't mean any of this. But god, did it feel good to get some attention from your old favorite bias. A robotic nod was all Ji-Woon got in response from you before you leaped into the hatch.

That was the start of many meetings the two of you had at the end of trials. You both learned that if he didn't close the hatch and you didn't open the exit gates, you had all the time in the world to talk. At first, the meetings were awkward, but over time the both of you warmed up to each other. You still didn't trust him entirely, but after so much time spent with Ji-Woon, you were getting to a place of mutual trust.

It was during one of these meetings that Ji-Woon realizes that he loves you almost as much if not more than he loves himself. You're fun, you're utterly enchanting, and you understand his music, even the screaming bits. That realization soon causes the fear to set in: the fear of your pain. 

After that meeting, he tries to convince the other killers to go easy on you. You're his, after all; he should be the only one allowed to cause you pain. Some agree, and some don't. Those who disagree with his terms become his enemies. Any way he can, he tries to screw them over. The Entity seems to be in favor of your relationship as well. Ji-Woon can't remember a single trial where you aren't one of the four survivors with him. 

Things were heating up between the two of you, but there had to be just one final push to bring the two of you together. Starting another trial, you see it's going to take place in Ormond. Great, this place is notorious for having difficult-to-work generators because of the cold. There's no time to waste, so you start to idly connect some wires. Yun-Jin makes her way over and begins to help out.

Things are going smoothly when the two of you hear the build-up for The Trickster's music. Yun-Jin lets out a quiet, "Oh god", but you just keep on working and touch the knife in your pocket. After that trial at Dead Dawg Saloon, Ji-Woon stopped trying to kill you altogether. He only ever hooked you when you wanted to make yourself seem less suspicious. 

The only one who had seemed at all suspicious was Yun-Jin. As the music kept crescendoing, and you kept working, Yun-Jin's feelings from before came to a climax. She asked with determination, "How do you know Ji-Woon?" Her question made you mess up and explode the generator in front of the two of you. 

You tried to play it off, "I have no idea what you mean."

But she wasn't buying it, "I know you know him. That's the only explanation for how he plays the game around you. Do you ever notice how you always escape the trials he's in, how you could last longer than anyone else in a chase?" 

The music was so loud now that you could barely hear her, but she still managed to yell out, "Who are you?"

Giving her a pained look, you finally reveal, "He killed me!" That was the last thing Yun-Jin heard before going down and being hooked. As you ran in the opposite direction in mock panic, you got one last look at Yun-Jin's shocked and regret filled face. You tried to help the rest of your team during the trial, but as usual, it was all futile.

Ji-Woon entered Ormond's main building after hooking Jake, the last survivor before you, when he saw your shivering form. There you were, in all of your beauty, hugging yourself on the couch. How had he never noticed how the cold affected you here. Immediately, Ji-Woon removed his jacket and put it over your quaking shoulders. Looking up with a smile, you shakily thank him. 

He takes a seat next to you on the couch, but before he gets the chance to speak, he feels you subtly scooting closer to him and the heat he provides. Any chance Ji-Woon has to be close to you, he'll take. So, he puts his arm around your shoulders and pulls you to his side. 

Blushing, you look up at him, "Ji, you don't have to do this. I'm sure you're just as cold as I am." Thinking for a moment, you hesitantly suggest, "I could leave through hatch, then you wouldn't have to be-"

Ji-Woon put his chin on his outstretched hand and gave you one of his best celebrity looks, "Oh, Starstruck, you can't get rid of me that easily" 

Snuggling into Ji-Woon more, you speedily reply, "No! I treasure every moment I can spend with you..." Trailing off, you keep going, "I just don't want you to suffer." 

Your words make him think about all the times you've had to suffer. Whether it was being in The Entity's realm or by his hands in the real world, you've suffered enough in Ji-Woon's eyes. He holds you tighter and says one of the sweetest things you've ever heard, "If I could suffer for eternity instead of you, I would do so in a heartbeat." Looking down at your pure and kind expression, Ji-Woon swallowed. "You don't deserve the pain of this place."

His words felt so genuine and true; this was one of the many moments when it became impossible for you to tell yourself that this was all an act. His charming gestures in response to your shivering and his sweet words gave you the courage to lean in for a kiss, but halfway you started to chicken out. What were you thinking? Ji-Woon thought himself  a god; there was no way he would even consider kissing a nobody like you. 

But before you could back off completely, Ji-Woon made up the final distance and met your lips with his own in the most endearing kiss you've ever experienced. As you were kissing Ji-Woon, you felt something strange wash over you; it had the same feeling as entering the fog. The kiss lasted for ages, and the two of you only broke away when the need to breathe became too much. 

When you opened your eyes and saw The Enity's claws coming up behind Ji-Woon, you pulled him back before any harm could come to him. At first, he was confused by your actions, until he also saw The Entity rising from the ground. 

"That was impressive." 

These words streamed into both of your heads, causing you to hold them in pain. You looked at each other in confusion.

"That true love's kiss was very touching." The disembodied voice sounded like it licked its lips, "Fortunately for you, these emotions taste way better than pain and mania. I won't be letting this relationship fail any time soon. Anything the two of you desire will be yours."

Soon enough, the both of you figured out this must be The Entity speaking. Ji-Woon was the first to speak up, "I'll be happy as long as I can stay with her." 

You looked at Ji-Woon, no longer starstruck, but still very much in love, "I have the same wish."

"It shall be done." 

Staring lovingly into Ji-Woon's eyes with a smile, the two of you lean in for one more kiss.

A/N:  Thank you so much for reading! I hope my first attempt at writing a murderer wasn't too bad. If you've made it this far I cannot recommend fifteenine's work on AO3 enough; please go read it. It deserves a lot of love.

[fezwearingjellybananas]

For the AU headcanon game, AU where Wally gets his powers from the s2 accelerator rather than s3 Alchemy shenanigans?

Yes! Number one is Joe is going to have an utter fit about this.

Like Jesse, Wally's initially unconscious, until the zap from Barry. Like Jesse, at first when Caitlin checks him over everything seems normal

Wally's powers spark when Zoom breaks into the West House. It's triggered by the adrenaline rush, the Speed Force kicking fight or flight into overgear, and what's meant to be a nice family dinner has just been interrupted by the guy who kidnapped Wally a few weeks ago to use against the Flash, and Wally doesn't know who's under that mask yet, as far as he knows, no help is near.

He knows when both he and Barry barrel into Zoom at the same time.

Wally suddenly being able to do that is distracting enough Barry manages to get Henry away from Zoloman before he can kill him. Henry's probably still hurt though, and Barry can't chase after Zoloman when he's got to run his dad to the hospital, he can't lose him too.

It's while Barry's at the hospital waiting for Henry to get out of surgery the others try the stop Zoom plan that leads to Joe getting kidnapped.

Wally's also at the hospital- he probably should have been more suspicious when Iris sent him to the hospital to find Barry instead of all of them going, but he did have questions he wanted answering. It's a little uncomfortable though, he and Barry weren't exactly getting on before, and Wally's very aware the last time he was in this building it was by his mother's death bed.

Wally insists on helping when Barry agrees to race Zoom. That's his dad, and he has powers too. Powers he'd had for like ten minutes, but still powers, everyone's got to start somewhere, right?

Jesse was held prisoner by Zoom for months. He was also dying, and while she wasn't exactly in the best position to start studying the Speed Force, and she was fully aware she was just a hostage to use against her dad, saying she could help might have taken some of Zoom's attention off her dad, and maybe it would have given her a way out, and it could try and keep her on Zoom's good side (not that he's got much of one, but maybe it'll keep her alive for longer), and there's another speedster there she could talk to and find out more from. Zoloman still kept Jay's face hidden, still didn't let him tell Jesse his name, but if she had a way to make him faster, he wasn't going to say no.

Which means Jesse- working on the beginnings of the Speed Equation- has a theory for how to attract the attention of the Time Wraiths. And with Wally there, with powers, he can draw Zoom away, just for a minute, while Barry destroys the magnatar.

Which means Barry doesn't create a time remnant. He destroys the magnatar himself and he survives, unlike the doomed remnant, created just to die, but he's got this huge burn all down one side of his body, bad enough it'll leave a permanent scar even with his super fast healing.

(I remain pissed off the writers broke their own rules just to give Savitar a facial scar to show he's the evil Barry, so now Barry the superhero gets it instead)

They rescue the real Jay now Zololan's been whooshed into the Speed Force thanks to Jesse. He still looks kind of like Henry, and he's very pleased to properly meet them all.

(He tells Jesse she reminds him of an old friend, Johnny Chambers, and promises to introduce them some time)

Henry's fine, he's just going to be in hospital for some time, so no Flashpoint. Definitely no Flashpoint when Caitlin bans Barry from running until he recovers. Which means Central's going to be without a Flash for a few weeks at least if Caitlin gets her way (which she will, she insists with this almost icy glint in her eyes), and then Barry's going to need all this extra time to look after his dad

Well, says Wally, what if he had a sidekick to help him out?

And Kid Flash is born

(Iris comes up with the name. Cisco is thrilled. Wally slightly less so initially, but it grows on him. Joe just can't believe both his sons ended up doing this)

(When Jesse also gets powers a few months later it's Harry's turn to have the fit)

Thank you!

[5+ headcanons for an AU]

[blackjackkent]

Found what appear to be a couple of the Stone Lord's thugs (attacked on sight, summoned 1513126 angry crows, and then died by by Hector- and Karlach-induced cranial trauma) so hopefully we are finally getting close to our destination...

Did have to take a long rest, unfortunately. This is, I believe, our first since we saw the notice about Florrick's execution, so we should still have four days to play with, but hopefully we will find Minsc soon and won't have to cut it that close.

I was expecting to just zoom through a rest and go back out again but we've actually got a couple of camp convos to go through, starting with Wyll, who presumably wants to talk about the dragon situation.

"Your mind tingles as it opens to Wyll. He learns of Mizora's meddling - and Florrick's tale of the dragon Ansur."

Dialogue a bit twisted here; Florrick wasn't involved in the conversation but presumably she would have been providing this info if we'd rescued her before meeting Eltan.

"Curse that rotten devil and her forked tongue, trying to set Eltan against me! She's a damnable inferno of chaos!"

Hector can see the frustration and pain starting to build up in him - but perhaps Hector is rubbing off on him, because he collects himself very abruptly, stills his expression. "What matters now is that Eltan saw sense," he goes on. "And we know our path forward. We'll finish what my father couldn't. We'll awaken Ansur, the Heart of the Gate."

He tilts his head; his voice softens, evidently quoting some long-memorized text. "'O Balduran, founder due veneration, his guardian dragon Ansur, tremendous in worth. A savior below, our eternal elation."

I was thinking about this in the last hour-ish since we talked to Eltan and remembered something from very early in this liveblog - Hector biffed a con save on seeing Voss's dragon swooping around and got REALLY freaked out. To my knowledge, they haven't encountered another dragon since, which leaves me free to re-awaken the headcanon that, having had dragons breathe fire directly in his face on the nautiloid, Hector is by now freaking TERRIFIED of them and was hoping never to see one again.

Which means, though I didn't include it in the Eltan post because it hadn't occurred to me, he is very nervous about this new plan. So it is taking him a little more effort than usual to maintain his calm as he talks to Wyll about it.

"It's an incredible tale," he says, his voice scrupulously steady. "What do you make of it?"

"It's not just a tale," Wyll points out earnestly. "It's a history!"

OK, this is actually kind of sweet in context. Given the above, and also the fact that Wyll is a sweetheart and all around good guy, it is very easy to interpret the whole end of this conversation thus: Wyll is 100% aware that Hector is freaking out, and just as 100% aware that he's trying not to show it. So, knowing Hector's history nerd tendencies, he's deliberately bringing up the historical research aspect of the situation to distract/calm him and make him feel better.

"Consider this - 'To Wyrmway, 'neath prison's deepest level.' That must mean Wyrm's Rock prison - that's where we'll find the entrance to this 'Wyrmway'. Then this: 'With the shock of a true hero's spark flickers, the torches alight! And wyrm's eyes shall awake aglitter.' To open the way, we'll need to spark torches."

And it works, too. Hector is listening, starting to consider the puzzles ahead of them, to work them out in his head. Later tonight he'll go dig the parchment that Eltan gave him out of his pack and sit up in the tent next to Karlach reading through it and trying to dig up hints. And his shoulders start to relax with the distraction, and Wyll smiles.

"This dragon Ansur was Balduran's ally," he says gently. "We'd be fools to let him sleep while the Dead Three's chosen raze the city."

[storiesofsvu]

Alright. It’s Thursday let’s see how tonight goes…

Weird opening that’s for sure

That blue suit on mechad is fucking gorgeous

Wtf is happening?!!!!?? Is this gonna be one of those twisty episodes? We’re only halfway through…

YES! SAM! Give her more screen time PLEASE

The like, main thing here would be finding the dancer, yes?

The lawyers have a good point with this recording, but it’s all speculation at this point…

I KNOW I know this defence attorney from somewhere… hold pls while I try to figure it out lol

Goddammit it’s not on imdb yet…

Okay so defence found the witness and honestly that just made everything way more complicated. YES, he killed the guy in (self) defence/trying to help/save the girl, BUT he’s still a racist pos who strangled the guy for three minutes after he stopped breathing. Also what was going on with the vic on the train? Cause he defs seemed out of it…

Ohhkay, an asthma attack, that makes sense. Reaching for the inhaler. Got it

Okay, y’all I’m sold on the new DA guy who came from scandal.

What is it with cop shows having very racist/sexist people/witnesses and choosing to send in their poc/women to figure details out.

OOHHH WE LOVE A GOOD UC STORYLINE! IS THIS GONNA BE A MULTI EP ARC?! A CROSSOVER?! (I know im clowning over a crossover, you don’t need to tell me)

That was a really good ep tbh.

*

Okay we all know I’m ignoring TO.

If anyone has any good ideas for a relatively affordable vacation over July/august that wouldn’t be too fucking hot, pls lmk.

*

Svu time!

Woof talk about a dark open

Also… it’s giving little mermaid…. The whole hazy can’t see her but she’s rescuing him and keeping him safe??

…pants around the ankles? Okay wait so something else happened in there?

WHERE! IS! VELASCO!

FFS

“EVERYONE IS ON MANDATORY OT” REALLY?! I REPEAT WHAT I JUST SAID!!

If they’re gonna be fucking rotating cast members, they should be rotating the ones who aren’t officially part of the squad. Curry was on last week, she should be gone this week.

Oh it was a man in the little mermaid vibes, my bad lol

….at least bruno’s here..

Okay… this girl’s apartment layout is the same as olivia’s (old?) one? (the one where noah was a toddler and up on the counter stealing cookies..) they really all about reusing sets aren’t they? Yet they make olivia’s apt completely different each ep…

Also I lowkey love all the fairy lights and art she’s got up, she’s made this place super cozy and calming and I dig it. Like I legit want that little tree with the fairy lights she has… catch me on amazon later.

Okay but like, if you were beat that bad and fighting for your life, there’s definitely a chance of hallucinating someone..

Bruno can yell at me any day…. Just sayin.

Why cant the girl with agoraphobia just fucking zoom/face time into the trial??? Like, they did that shit for younger witnesses/victims, for people already in prison/stuck in hospitals and that was all BEFORE covid…. I get that this is some kind of progress for her/olivia and more building for liv but it’s stupid…

Shout out to liv for making her office a complete safe space with the blinds drawn and candles and shit. Cute.

Okay that was an okay episode, we’re getting there slowly. I just wish we would go back to court for once. I miss my defence attorneys…

*

Lowkey hate this flashback, ngl.

 Okay…I NEED to know how old joe stabler is supposed to be. Cause the actor’s age isn’t listed on wiki/imdb, but there’s a couple pages/articles that say he’s super late 40’s, early 50’s but he could pass for late 30’s so im SO confused lol.

Ahh… okay. Glad the drugs are his and not eli’s lol

Ugh I love bell so fucking much

I really hope Bobby’s leave was written in cause the actor had another offer that he wanted to take and not one that screwed him over.

Yaaasss cragen with the distraction save!

“I thought it worked…” bruh it sure did lol

God I miss cragen’s sass and quips. Im super glad he’s open to guest star

Bell being a complete bad ass like always. Yaaas queen

Speaking of bad ass women… nicely done chief…

Oh fuck….

Okay, well that was a decent night of l&o tonight!

[vespertin-y]

i cut myself while trying to slice an apple so to distract myself from the sensory hell that is bandaids i watched the v3 prologue and took notes!! here’s my thoughts:

-yknow i really like the team danganronpa logo, it’s very clean. they may torture children but the graphic design is on point!!

-kaede’s opening monologue is interesting...no form, no voice, no sound...i believe in the VR theory so i’m gonna say this is just the moment before she loaded in hphsdgsgjs

-kaede says she fell on the ground, and then we immediately cut to a cg of her standing up. never change v3 CGs, never change.

-i forgot how much kaede talks to herself...i know it’s just for Protagonist Monologue Reasons but it’s a very cute quirk.

-THE UNSHADED HATTT. this whole thing is just gonna remind me of how comically terrible v3′s art is huh

-the pregame kids were EXPLICITLY KIDNAPPED, and the “flashback” tsumugi shows us in trial 6 literally never happens. also no-one reacted to kaede being shoved in a van in broad daylight but the world is definitely very peaceful and good. sure, tsumugi.

-pregame kaede is ingame kaede with zero filter and it’s very funny. important note though: she APOLOGIZES for yelling at shuichi!! she’s not a remorseless regina george y’all, she’s just snarky and doesn’t have a lot of patience.

-v3′s aesthetic is so bizzare to me. the overgrown building and the bright electronics clash, but they don’t clash enough for it to feel deliberate..? it’s just kind of ugly i’m sorry. i wish there were fewer electronics but they were more clearly contrasted against the building.

-notes abt the classroom: kaede says the LCD blackboard is “something you don’t see every day” but technology has apparently advanced enough for robots to be sentient...? ‘sure, tsumugi’ x2. also the lockers are clearly shoved in last minute and it’s very funny. lockers shouldn’t be in a classroom in the first place, and when you zoom in you can see they’re half-covering a schedule.

-i forgot how ugly the exisals are...why is “ape with a coffin for a head” the design they chose. why.

-kokichi doesn’t stutter or cower, but he DOES immediately offer to go look for the giant monster robots with guns, so like. maybe not great self-worth/preservation there.

-kaede and shuichi both say their parents aren’t rich and that they’re not very important, and tenko calls them all “commoners” - i wonder if rich kids don’t get picked for the killing games? the more i analyze in v3 the more i’m concerned this is less truman show and more hunger games.

-they don’t recognize the monokubs specifically, but they do recognize the concept. maki says “talking stuffed animals...?” and seems nervous about it, not surprised or confused. kaede also says “if you guys really are the monokubs, then that means-” and gets cut off. i bet the pregame guys would recognize monokuma, but the monokubs seem to be Tsumugi Originals™.

-when the monokubs ask if they have ultimate talents, they say no - but don’t really act like they’re completely fictional? “no, i’m just a normal high school student :(” is not how i would react if someone asked if i had a stand. this doesn’t necessarily mean thh and sdr2 aren’t fictional in this universe, though - they could be thinking of previous killing game contestants who still count as ultimates?

-kaede already has a “talent she dedicates herself to” and iirc kodaka said in the artbook that she’s talking about piano here! obviously their memories and personalities were edited, but tsumugi was lying when she said they’re completely different people.

-i love how concerned tsumugi is when the monokubs start talking about the ultimate hunt. she doesn’t say anything before this but they bring up the backstory and she goes “what?? are you talking about???” it’s great. their incompetence has GOT to be killing her.

-kiibo’s armor is in the clothes that get flung in the air during the transformation sequence and that makes me very uncomfortable :[ i know the implication is that he’s not really a robot but like...they peeled him :[[[

-THE BAD CONCEPT ART PNGS IN THE FINAL SHOT 😭 what a perfect way to end this.

[nysocboy]

Workaholics Episode 1.9: Adam kisses a cougar, gets frisky with Ders, and raps as a bodybuilding fairy wizard

Workaholics Episode 1.9 was heavily criticized on the Gender/Sex/Media blog as homophobic: the guys think of "homosexuality" as weird and wrong  -- and something you can catch.  Plus Adam uses a homophobic slur!  We'll see. 

Scene 1: The guys dressed as wizards in long beards and conical caps, rehearsing a rap number for the Renaissance Faire. Ders asks why Adam has ripped his shirt off: "We're trying to get people excited, right?  The world needs to see the madness that is my upper torso."  Can't disagree with that.  

Next Ders objects to "whoring out" the art of rap, but the guys remind him that ladies with big boobs will be watching their performance, so ok.

Scene 2: At work, the guys are watching through the window as Adam lifts weights on the patio. Geez, don't you gawk at his bod enough at home?  Sorry, of course there's no such thing as "enough."  

Suddenly a middle-aged lady comes onto the patio to smoke: Sharon, the owner of the whole building!  The guys, watching, don't understand..  "Why is that lady talking to Adam? Wait -- why are they kissing?"  Well, Billy, some boys like to kiss boys, and some like to kiss girls.  

Scene 3: Blake wonders where Adam has been for three days; he's missing the Wizard Rap rehearsals. He comes in to announce that he's moving in with Sharon!  They're in love, they're having sex, and besides, she's helping him with his bodybuilding career.  She got him a gig at the Tri-County Amateur Bodybuilding Competition.  Um..buddy, anyone can sign up for those things.  Blake and Ders disapprove: she's a cougar (middle aged lady who's into young guys.)  Nonsense, she's the same age as Adam's mom, who has sex a lot.  He zooms away on the back of Sharon's motorcycle.  The guys feel betrayed, and decide that they will break up the lovebirds. Their plan: Ders will seduce her. Won't work -- I'm sure Sharon is fine with three-ways.

Scene 4: The guys arrive at Sharon's mansion. While Adam shows Blake around, Ders asks to check out the pool The grand tour, consisting of the various places where Adam has made "the magic happen": their bedroom, the staircase, her son's bedroom, the kitchen. Have they ever actually had sex?  I think a big reveal is coming. 

Meanwhile Ders goes out to the pool in a very tight Speedo and flirts with Sharon.  She can't swim, so he offers to teach her.  

Scene 5:  Adam shows Blake the gym, where he's preparing for the bodybuilding competition.  Blake wants to stall him, to give Ders enough time to complete the seduction, so he asks for a demonstration of the bicep curl.  Adam likes to keep the window open during his workouts, so when he screams, people outside think he's having sex.  But aren't you having sex a lot anyway?  

Meanwhile, in the pool, Sharon asks Ders "Are you trying to seduce me?"   She is totally open to the idea. Scene 6: Adam looks out the window, sees Sharon and Ders flirting, and runs down in a jealous snit. "We're going to fight!"  

Upset at being interrupted in the midst of a seduction, Ders cries "You are frickin' dead, boy!" But when he climbs out of the pool, he is aroused!  

They can't fight that way, so he has to lie down until he gets soft.  But the minute the two start grabbing at each other, they both get aroused! "Your boner is contagious!" Adam exclaims.  He orders Ders to put on a shirt to hide his hunkinest.  What about you, Mr. Sexiest Man on the Planet?  It can't be a fair fight with your gorgeousness  distracting your opponent.  "Wait, am I supposed to hit you or kiss you? I'll compromise with a blow job."  

Ders agrees -- they're too attracted to each other for a physical fight.  Maybe if they just hurl insults?  Nope -- it turns into an "are you as turned on as I am?" tirade that stops just short of the kiss.  And they're aroused again! 

Ok, so they can't fight or argue.  The guys kick Adam out of the Wizard Rap Group. He doesn't care, because he's busy prepping for the bodybuilding competition that Sharon got for him.  It's on the same day, and it's more important to him than "dressing like a fairy wizard."  

Wizards typically aren't fairies in fantasy fiction.  Is this a homophobic slur?  Is the whole exchange characterizing same-sex desire as "weird"? 

Of course not.  The guys aren't horrified or disgusted by their boners; it's just inconvenient.  They are quite aware that they are attracted to each other, and that Adam is attracted to men in general.  It comes up over and over (so to speak). 

Bromance usually includes some physical attraction, but the guys ignore it because they are too attracted to women to become invested in a gay relationship.  

And the "fairy wizard"?  It would be the only homophobic slur that any of Adam Devine's characters use in the twelve movies and dozens of tv episodes, and various stand-up performances that I've seen.  Besides, the rap is hardly feminine: it's about the various ways that the wizards destroy their opponents.  I think Adam (DeMamp) just doesn't understand the conventions of fantasy fiction.  

Scene 7:  Blake and Ders leave, assuring each other that they don't need Adam.  They still have each other.  But it doesn't work: at home, they try to toss Adam a beer. play beer pong with him, cuddle in the jacuzzi with him. They are a trio; they need a third.  They interview Karl as a new roommate and member of their Wizard Rap group. 

Scene 8: At work, Adam is doing bicep presses at his desk (with 20 pound dumbells, very light for a bodybuilder, or even a gym rat).  Sharon orders him to her office ("powder you balls").  But he doesn't get naked -- he screws her with a dildo attached to his face. 

"So, next time, could we use the strap-on that God gave me?"  Nope. So no screwing, no cunnilingus, no physical contact of any sort?  Does she even like Adam?

Scene 9:   Wizard Rap rehearsal.  Karl wears his new costume, which shows off his chest.  Not another one!  Adam drops by to snipe at them a little.  "Things are going great for me!" and so on.  After he leaves, the guys suggest using their sadness in the act.  Ders whimpers "Adam..." Aww, just tell him that you love him and want him back.

Scene 10: Adam bursts into the locker room at the Tri-Valley Amateur Bodybuilding Competition.  The other contestants, twice as big, make fun of him.  One (American Gladiators star Michael O'Hearn, center) ask if he's the mascot.  That's not fair -- these competitions go by weight class. 

The announcer (another American Gladiators star, Lee Reherman) calls everyone onto the stage.  Ders and Blake watching, complain that Adam looks ridiculous, "like a baby man."  

Wait -- why isn't Adam's girlfriend in the audience, cheering him on?  Adam goes backstage to call Sharon, and gets voicemail.

It's Adam's turn to perform.  The announcer says that he's 5.8, 240 pounds.  Huh?  That's not possible.  He does Ninja kicks and splits, and makes funny faces; assuming that he is performing a parody, everyone in the audience laughs. But he is being serious. Blake and Ders rise to his defense: "He's got ten times more bravery than you!"  Also a huge bulge. 

Scene 11:  Adam offstage, crying. The guys convince him to go back, but not as a bodybuilder -- they perform their Wizard Rap number.  The judges like the clever parody, and give Adam a trophy (or he steals one).  Anyway, they are friends again.

Sharon drives up on her motorcycle: "Hop on, monkey."  But she missed the most important moment of Adam's life, so he dumps her. No problem, she'll just go on to the next.  She zooms off.

Friendship forever.  They hug -- and Ders gets another boner!  The end.

Beefcake: Adam throughout, Ders in a swimsuit.

The Hetero-Romance:  I don't understand Sharon's end game.  Of course she doesn't actually care about Adam -- she is just using him for sex -- but why doesn't she want to have any physical contact?  If it is her personal kink, it needs to be explored more thoroughly.  Structurally, she seems to be setting him up, convincing him that he's ready for a bodybuilding competition when he doesn't even know the proper poses, so she can laugh at his humiliation.  But that can't be right -- she doesn't show up to laugh. The two plotlines are not connected very well.

Heterosexism: Not much.  We see Adam and Sharon kiss once.  The face-dildo screwing is just strange.

Gay Subtext: A big one, and completely deliberate.  

The uncensored photos and a nude frontal of Mike O'Hearn are on RG Beefcale amd Boyfriends

[agentark88]

Think: Chapter Ninety: A Volatile Operation

My Hero Academia Fan Fiction by Agent ARK 88

Disclaimer: The following is a work of fan fiction using characters and settings from My Hero Academia/Boku no Hero Academia created by Kohei Horikoshi. I do not claim any ownership of characters present in this piece that are owned and created by Kohei Horikoshi. I do not own My Hero Academia/Boku no Hero Academia.

Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental.

Warnings: This work contains mild language, blood, and violence.

Please be aware this piece is in second person perspective, following my original character, Think, Anna Kokoro, who is a transfer student from America.

Chapter Ninety: A Volatile Operation

“Does anyone hear me?!” Shinso’s voice boomed into your earpiece, and you winced.

Shoto and you had already sprung into action, racing down the long hillside path toward the large building. You bounced into a sprint, lifting your finger to your ear.

“Mindjack? We hear you. What happened?”

“Bakugo jumped…damn bazooka,” his voice crackled in and out as if the signal was being jammed again.

“You’re welcome…” Bakugo snapped through his own communicator. “Next time…take the blast.” Static clung to his every other word. Bakugo growled, before his voice cut out again.

From your vantage point, you could see Bakugo zipping around down below, trying to fight his way out of danger.

“We’re on our way,” you said, hoping it would pick up through the communicator.

You sprang through the damaged building first, but Shoto was not far behind with his ice. On your way down to the ground, you clicked open several of your utility pockets, flinging an assortment of support-tech projectiles into the air. You snatched them with practiced ease, sending a mind blast below your feet to keep you from crashing into the ground. You landed, drawing in the colorful orbs and spinning them around you in a display of rainbow color. Without your mentor, you only dared to go on the defensive. The point was to cause enough of a distraction to get Bakugo out.

You triggered nets and sticky poppers to subdue the villains’ approaching you, making a path toward Bakugo. As you got closer, you realized the damage he’d actually taken. Sure, he was used to explosions, but a bazooka shot, especially one modified for villains, at close range would knock most people out of commission. The only indication of his injuries rounded out to small scratches, burns, and powdered soot covering his skin.

Bakugo zoomed past you, incapacitating someone that had tried to hit you with a swipe of his palm. The blast sent a warm wave of wind through you. He grinned as if he was actually enjoying this and launched onto another attacker.

A heart-shaped arrowhead struck next to you, catching a Counting Sheep member by his pant leg. He tumbled over as you backed away. You turned your gaze up, bumping directly into your mentor, Heart of Hearts. She looked less than happy. She grabbed you by the back of your hero costume, hoisting you up and behind her.

“This was supposed to be a stakeout. We were not to engage in combat,” she said sternly.

“I know. W-we didn’t. A Counting Sheep member ambushed us,” you started to explain the situation, but Hearts gave you a sharp look in return.

Hearts’ pink eyes were glazed over in anger. She nocked another arrow, letting it fly, just before engaging in hand-to-hand combat with another villainous member. She flipped him over her tall body with ease. He slammed to the ground, and you winced.

“Deku and I were ambushed too. I ordered him to stay at our original position just in case other gang members were making rounds to guard this place.” Hearts grabbed another villain, kneeing her in the chest before dropping her to the ground. “This is a one-sided battle. We are outnumbered.” Her eyes darted around the crowd. Hearts cracked an elbow into another villain’s nose as he tried to come at her with a bat. “Those villains were no match for Deku’s Blackwhip. He should be fine, but I hate to separate any of you. You’re all capable to fight on your own, but this...” Hearts motioned to the people clambering over each other to get to each of you. She swung a round kick into two others and took them down. She met your attentive gaze with her frightened one.

“We didn’t mean to fight. We were looking for you—” you started, ducking under a swinging fist. You shot out your mind, shoving the attacker and forcing him to tumble into more villains.

“Everyone, disengage now!” Hearts shouted, cutting you off. Hearts’ expression altered. Her eyebrows furrowed. Panic sent her eyes darting between the young heroes that she was in charge of. “Retreat back to Deku’s post!” Hearts’ voice boomed.

You shivered. You hesitated just because there were so many adversaries around you. Hearts couldn’t possibly want the five of you to leave her to fight on her own. When you didn’t move right away, Heart of Hearts’ feral glare came back on you.

“That’s an order! Disengage!” she commanded.

Your legs moved on their own as you scrambled back from her. The last thing that you wanted to do was anger her further. You retrieved what support projectiles that you could with your mind, avoiding attackers left and right. You made a dash for the exit that you’d entered from. You’d gotten rather attuned to avoiding, so you weren’t worried about being grabbed. Your whole focus was on obeying your mentor. She knew what was best.

A gun fired. You were tackled clear off of your feet. Your heart thundered in your chest as you laid prone and disoriented. You groaned, getting back up. Shinso was sprawled out beside you. A rosette of blood forming beneath him.

“Hitoshi?” you croaked out, confusion and fear striking you in the chest.

You managed to get up onto your feet. A gun was pointed directly at you, breaking your attention away from your bleeding friend. Your quirk sprang forth, ripping the accursed weapon from the attacker’s grip and catapulting it out of reach. Without hesitation, you blasted him with your mind, sending him flying. You fell to Shinso, and he hissed out in pain as your hands touched him.

“Easy, Kitten. I’m okay,” he said through gritted teeth. “He got me in the arm.”

You let out a sigh of relief. Teary-eyed, you helped Shinso to his feet. Your quirk raged inside your mind, begging to be released. The only thing keeping you from letting it run wild was in respect to Hearts’ orders. You put up a mind barrier between the crowd and the two of you. Assailants bounced off the rippling walls. You used your mind to get Shinso over first. Then, you launched over to follow him. You bounced over to solid ground, lending your arm to Shinso again. He fought back your assistance, now that the two of you were cleared from the building.

“It’s just my arm,” he repeated, holding it with blood seeping through his fingers.

“Y-you pushed me out of the way. You could have been seriously hurt. You are hurt,” you said, finding it difficult to not give him some means of support.

“I would do it again in a heartbeat,” he said. “It would have been worse to see you injured.”

You went to argue with him, but Todoroki came sliding over and out toward the two of you on a large sheet of ice. He jogged up, exchanging a curious glance between you both. His attention came upon Shinso.

“You’re wounded,” he said.

“Thanks. I hadn’t noticed,” Shinso barked back sarcastically.

“I can provide you with medical attention,” Shoto said. He reached for his medical-aid support items, but Shinso cut him off.

“We follow Hearts’ orders first.” Shinso gritted his teeth, moving toward the hill’s path.

You moved to follow him, but halted when you realized Bakugo still wasn’t with you. Your attention shifted back toward the building. The whole reason you’d gone to help was for him. You weren’t going to leave him.

You heard several other gunshots ring out, and the three of you ducked. You looked between your group and back toward the building. Todoroki noticed first. He shook his head.

“Hearts said we needed to go meet up with Deku. What Bakugo chooses to do after a direct order is not our concern. He can handle himself,” Shoto said.

Shinso peered back at you. “Don’t even think about it, Kitten.”

You clenched your fists at your sides as your two classmates stared at you. There was a beat or two where you considered not going back for him. But, you’re mind was already made up.

“Sorry,” you quickly said.

Shoto reached for you, but you shot up like a rocket with a single mind blast. You were back in the fray before you could blink. The crowd had converged on a center point. Bodies flew out left and right, getting tossed or toppled. Explosions resounded, but popped off less and less potently. You made a running leap, using a mind blast to catapult you into the center, where your comrades likely resided.

Getting a clear view from above, you were able to spot Hearts and Bakugo keeping attackers at bay. Hearts had a much steadier stance, and it appeared that Bakugo may have sustained an injury based on his unsure footing. As you touched down between them, Hearts let three more arrows fly.

“I told you to disengage, Think,” Hearts said. She swung her bow at a woman who’d drawn her weapon, knocking her back into the crowd with a sickening thwack.

“You told all of the mentees to disengage. I wasn’t leaving without Bakugo.”

“What were you thinking, Big Brain? You’re going to get yourself killed,” Bakugo snapped. His fighting stance faltered. His back leg buckled. Blood had pooled beneath him.

You used a strand of your mind to right him. “You were shot,” you said.

“And, I wouldn’t forgive myself if you were too,” Bakugo growled. He sent out another blast. His right arm hung limply at his side. “Get the hell out of here while you still can.”

You watched Hearts’ attention shift between her opponents and Bakugo. She wouldn’t be able to get him out alone, not with this many enemies. It must have also been why she wasn’t yelling at him, like she had been yelling at you. You were having a hard time understanding her decision to send you all away. The five of you were more than capable of fighting. Judging by Bakugo’s current state, she was trying to avoid serious injuries to befall any of you. Had Bakugo left when she asked, he might not have been this bad off.

“I’ll make an opening,” you said. Your quirk buzzed like a wild hornet’s nest. You made a shield between the three of you and the large group of villains. “We’re all going.”

“I don’t want any more of you to get hurt. This was supposed to be simple stakeout—”

“Mistakes lead to injuries. Injuries lead to accidental deaths,” you said, cutting her off. “You told us that we might think that we can take on the world by ourselves, but we can’t expect that to the be the case. Other heroes are here to support us. I refuse to leave either of you behind again. You don’t need to fight them on your own, Hearts. If you don’t want us to fight, then we call in Pro Hero backup.” You winced as fists pounded against your invisible barrier. “I can’t hold this for much longer. Let me help us get out of here.”

Hearts looked around at the still rather large mass of people. She clenched her fingers around her bow. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Think. It’s my responsibility to keep you all safe. This turned out to be a real shitshow. I was trying to do damage control. I realize now that was wrong of me. What kind of mentor would I be if I didn’t listen to my own advice?” She drew one of her last three arrows. “You’re right. Let’s get out of here.” She readied her bow, giving you a nod.

You imagined your path out, forming the mind field to angle in a specific direction. You weren’t sure if you had enough energy to do what you needed to do, but you were going to try. You took in a breath, focusing your quirk. One giant tidal wave of energy would give you all enough time to get out. Just one more blast of your quirk. That’s all you would need.

Suddenly, Bakugo grabbed your costume by the shoulder with his uninjured arm. His crimson gaze flickered over you. He clicked his tongue, letting go. “We’re all getting out of here,” he repeated your previous statement. “I’m not leaving you behind.” The promise slid from his mouth like a warning. He knew you better than most. He probably saw the worry. He would drag you out of that building if he had to.

You nodded at him, praying that this last bit of your physical energy could keep you standing. You pushed the crowd apart at first, forcing them to slide back. Many of them yelled and pushed back in confusion. You gritted your teeth. One mighty push. All you needed was one wave of energy. It would give you all enough time to escape.

Your quirk responded to you with pulsing vigor. The energy started from your mind, rippling out with such strength that the air around you snapped and crackled with sound. Yelps and cries bounced off of the remaining building walls as everyone was knocked clean off of their feet. A clear path emerged and nothing stood in your way. The three of you ran for the exit, a door barely hanging on its hinges.

Your vision grew spotted. Blood dripped from your nose, but you wiped it away with the back of your hand. Hearts led the charge. Bakugo was at your heels, his injuries proving to slow him down. You were almost out. Your next step faltered, but you caught yourself. Members of Counting Sheep began to rise from your attack.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a pistol raise. Your instincts clawed at your insides. A mind barrier flickered up into its path. Your consciousness faded as you started to fall. You heard the gunshot and felt the impact of the bullet ricochet off of your mind shield. You remembered how impressed you were with the fact it didn’t shatter. You’d gotten stronger.

Bakugo gripped the back of your super suit, your head only inches from making impact with the floor. Hearts shot an arrow at the man holding the gun, and his weapon disappeared into the crowd. Bakugo threw you like a ragdoll over his shoulder.

“What the hell were you thinking, Big Brain?” he asked. “Don’t you dare pass out on me.” He gritted his teeth and growled with each running step he took on his wounded leg.

The three of you broke out into the frigid night air. Hearts had her communicator now in hand. She was flipping through channels, barking orders into it with no response. Your breathing slowed, the darkness flowing through you and receding like a gentle wave. Your eyes became harder and harder to keep open. Bakugo jostled you awake.

“Hey, we’re not out yet. Talk to me, Anna,” Bakugo snapped. “I can’t see you, but don’t shut your eyes.”

“I’m awake,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

“We are at the abandoned fish market… yes… prefecture…” Hearts’ voice hit your ears in segments.

You were having a hard time knowing if you were awake or asleep. Abruptly, a voice thundered in your ears.

“This is the Endeavor Agency! Sidekicks have been deployed to your area.”

“Shit!” Bakugo yelled. He collapsed, his leg finally giving out. He landed on his injured arm, biting down on a yelp from the pain. “Damn leg,” he grunted out. He rolled over, and his gaze was back on you.

“Hey, you’re okay. We’re almost safe. Keep those eyes open,” he said. His hand was on your face, tapping it gently.

The scent of caramel and smoke filled your nose, as Bakugo brushed some dried blood from underneath it. You were so tired. You wanted to tell him you were going to sleep anyway. You didn’t want to fight it anymore. Other voices, muffled ones, emerged overhead, but your eyes were still on Katsuki. His expression changed, softening, then it tightened into anger again as Deku grabbed for him. He twisted in Midoriya’s grip, trying to shove him off and get back to you. Black tendrils eventually took hold of the angry blond, a new manifestation of Deku’s quirk. Deku was able to lift Bakugo easily with the strange appendages, leaving Katsuki ensnared and secure despite his adamant struggle to be released.

You were lifted in familiar arms and adjusted into a princess carry. Shoto looked down at you in worry. His dual-colored eyes examined you as best he could while holding you. The group moved again. Muted sirens thrummed against your eardrums. You passed out.

…

You jolted awake, startling Hearts and Shoto beside you. Hearts breathed out a sigh of relief. The tension left Shoto’s shoulders, and he leaned forward into his hands.

“Your recovery time is getting shorter. I can’t tell if that’s a good or bad sign,” Hearts said.

“How long was I out?” you asked.

“A few hours,” Shoto said into his hands.

“What about Katsuki? Hitoshi?”

“Both recovering nicely,” Hearts answered. “We managed to get Recovery Girl to come out here for their bullet wounds. Once the bullets were removed, the healing process was shortened. They’re resting.” Hearts relaxed into the worn gray hospital chair. “We actually weren’t sure if you were going to wake up this quickly. There’s not much Recovery Girl can do for you, and your quirk kept most of the tests from working on you.”

“Again?” Deku asked in worry. He was holding two steaming cups of what you could only assume was coffee. He cleared his throat when he saw your attention had shifted on to him. “Uh, sorry. It’s just strange that a quirk does that automatically. You’d think your quirk would allow the doctors to examine you.”

Hearts pressed her lips together in thought. “Your quirk’s almost as stubborn as you are,” she said.

You winced, waiting for another lecture.

“Thank you for coming back for us, even though it was reckless,” Hearts started. “You managed to minimize the damage done. Some of Counting Sheep managed to escape, but thanks to you, most of them were apprehended. Once we made it far enough away from the building, the communicator’s signal came back online.” She pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. “It could have been a lot worse, all things considered.” She laced her fingers together. “I should have made sure that all of you could get out, before ordering you to go. That’s on me. I take full responsibility.”

“I’m just glad everyone is okay,” you said.

“My father was elated that we busted such an elusive firearm distribution ring,” Shoto said distantly. “He didn’t even ask about injuries sustained during the mission.” Shoto’s attention flickered to you. “I’m glad you’re awake.”

Hearts looked at him out of the corner of her eye, but she didn’t say anything. Shoto stood up, clenching his fists at his sides.

“I’m going to go check on the others,” he said. Shoto left the room.

Deku awkwardly watched him leave. He tried and failed to hand off the foam cup of coffee to him. Deku turned back to the two of you, handing off one of the cups to Hearts and setting the other one down onto the counter.

“I think you made the right call,” you said suddenly, addressing Hearts.

“I appreciate it, but it was a mistake. I could have gotten Bakugo killed. I should have trusted you all to hold your own.” Hearts shifted uncomfortably, thought creasing her expression.

“We were outnumbered and outgunned. I respected the call. The circumstances changed when Bakugo became too injured to fight his way out. That’s why I came back,” you said.

“I should have been reprimanded instead of praised by the agency,” Hearts said, hitting her forehead with her palm. She looked toward the door. “I worry about Shoto, his relationship with his father. There are only so many times that I can stand up for Endeavor when he does things like this.” She covered her eyes with her arm. “I might call Aizawa. He’d give me a lecture, and I wouldn’t even have to ask for it.”

Deku laughed nervously beside her. “I’m not sure you want to ask for Mr. Aizawa to scold you, Heart of Hearts. None of us are upset with you. We accepted the risk when we went out on patrol with you.”

“You’re just children,” Hearts said.

Deku’s smile faded, and she straightened.

Hearts sighed again. “It’s no disrespect to any of you, but, going out on patrol with us, as heroes in training with provisional licenses, is not meant to put you in the direct line of fire. It never used to be like this. Patrols were boring as hell back in my beginning days. We’d be lucky to find a villain stealing a handbag to apprehend. Lately, villains have gotten more brazen. The Commission is panicking to find a replacement for All Might, and they’re trying to rip one of you kids out of your childhood to do it. It’s all kinds of messed up.” Hearts bit into her bottom lip, shifting nervously in her seat.

Deku tightened his grip on his knees. His eyes were glazed over. He looked nearly ready to cry. You weren’t sure how to respond to Hearts. Becoming a hero was your dream. You accepted the risk. You didn’t think about how hero work might have changed. You had assumed it was dangerous to begin with. Perhaps, you and your class had gone through far more than anticipated. Was it really that abnormal?

“This was supposed to be a simple stakeout. I did not intend for us to actually find a meeting like that. I feel like I placed you kids directly in front of a gun’s barrel.” Hearts looked down at the steaming cup of coffee in her cupped hands. “We, the current Pro Heroes and Sidekicks, should not be relying on you students to get the job done. It sickens me to think any one of you could have died under my care. We need to do better. I need to do better.” Hearts stood up. “I’m going to go find Shoto. He needs someone to talk to.” She paused. “I’ll find the doctor too. If everything checks out, we should all be able to be discharged tonight.”

Deku and you watched silently as she left. You exchanged a tense look with him, before both of you awkwardly looked away from each other. You kicked off the sheets on your cot, already done with being in the hospital again.

“I hope they tell Kacchan you’re awake,” he murmured softly.

Your attention shifted back to him tensely. “Was he mad?” you asked.

Deku shrugged. “Furious that they wouldn’t let him stay with you.” He rubbed the back of his neck, some of his green curls hung in front of his eyes. “Thanks for going back for Kacchan.”

“I couldn’t have left him,” you said. “I wouldn’t have.”

“He had three bullet wounds in total. Two in his leg and one in his arm. The paramedics couldn’t figure out how he was still conscious, even when he was screaming at them to ride in the same ambulance as you. They chalked it up to adrenaline.”

“Three bullet wounds? B-but, he carried me out of the building,” you said.

“He did.” Deku shook his hand. “I’m not sure adrenaline can last that long. I’m pretty sure Kacchan is just a different breed.” He laughed, but it sounded kind of hollow. “Even back when we were little, I knew he was different.”

“I’m not sure different is the right word to describe Katsuki,” you said, chuckling.

Deku turned his gaze up again, returning your laugh with a warm smile. “I’m glad he’s found more people to rely on. Not too many people understand him, but he means well.” Deku fidgeted with his white gloves. “I’m sorry to change the subject…”

You raised an eyebrow at Deku. His posture had curled in on itself. His expression became more calculating.

“Go ahead,” you said.

Deku gulped. “Do you think what Hearts said about The Commission, about All Might… Do you think things have changed that much? I just thought as hero students, these kinds of things happened more frequently. Sure, I think things have been a bit more hectic, but I thought that came with the territory.” Deku clenched at his chest, shutting his eyes. “All Might was a symbol of peace, and I’m worried… I can’t help thinking that something bad is coming, especially when all of these Pro Heroes are apprehensive about the future.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” you said softly. “I really hadn’t considered how things have changed for heroes. All we can do is try our best though, right? Things will work out. The heroes always win out in the end.” You sat up, shifting your legs to the side of your cot. “Besides, All Might may be retired, and a bit smaller, but he’s still around, ready to impart his wisdom on us hero students.” You gave your best impression of All Might’s voice but laughed when it was less than successful.

Deku nodded, giving you a weak smile. “You’re right. Sorry to put all of that worry on you, especially since you just woke up. That’s selfish of me.”

“You know I don’t mind talking, Deku. I’m always here to listen to a friend,” you said. You leaned forward, lowering your voice to a whisper. “You can trust me, you know. When you can read minds, you have to learn to keep secrets.”

Deku blushed. “I-I don’t have much to tell,” he blurted. “I, uh, I appreciate the offer though. It’s nice to know you’re here to listen.”

You swung your legs back and forth, tilting your head to the side and scanning him over. Deku looked everywhere but at you. You always thought you were missing something when talking to him. You hoped he was doing okay. The least you could do was offer him your ear when he wanted to talk.

“You know you don’t have to carry everything on your shoulders, right?” you asked him.

Deku’s eyes widened, and his lips trembled.

“It’s not like you have to take on the world on your own. You have friends, Deku. Me, Ochaco, Shoto, all of your classmates are here to help you. I wish you would share some of that burden you seem to carry around. It hurts me to see you hurting,” you said.

“I…” Deku looked conflicted. His hands shook in his lap. He turned his gaze up to you. “I trust you. It’s just—”

Hearts burst back through the door with the doctor in tow. Shoto, Shinso, and Bakugo were close on her heels. Deku immediately sank back into his seat, clamming up again. Your face blanched when Bakugo’s glare met your meek stare. He looked pretty upset. His heavily bandaged limbs came with a set of crutches that he appeared to refuse to use because he held the two of them together like a sword next to his hip. Shinso’s arm was wrapped, but he looked relatively unscathed as he crossed his arms over his chest. Intuitively, you knew that both of them were only upset because you ended up in a hospital bed again, despite the actions they took to keep you out of one.

The doctor checked you over. Minimal damage was reported. Everything seemed to be functioning normally. The doctor confirmed that you and the others were well enough to be discharged. You changed back into your hero costume, meeting back up with the group. A large car was ordered by the Endeavor Agency to take you all back to school. The ride was quiet.

Hearts tapped away on her smartphone. Bakugo stared out the window. Shinso leaned his head back, staring at the car ceiling. Deku fidgeted around like normal, trying his best not to take up too much space in the vehicle. You aimlessly tugged at your seatbelt, looking off into the distance.

I want to tell her. She would understand. She would keep the secret.

You winced. The voice unnaturally filled your mind, Deku’s voice. You turned your head, moving your gaze to the back seat. Surprisingly, you met Deku’s stare with your own, and he jolted back as if you’d caught him talking about you.

“W-what?” he stammered out. “Is something the matter?” Deku asked.

“N-no. Sorry. I thought I heard you say something,” you said. You turned back, massaging your temples with your fingertips. Maybe you hadn’t completely recovered. You haven’t unintentionally read someone’s mind in a long time.

You mentally focused on your quirk, shutting your eyes. The power became easily malleable in response to your attention. Your quirk didn’t seem like it was cracked or unresponsive. You could have been tired. It was probably better to believe that you’d briefly slipped up, then think there was something wrong.

Once the six of you stopped in front of U.A. and clambered out of the car, it was already late in the morning. Aizawa stood on the other side of the gate, arms crossed and eyes tired. The five of you approached him warily. He gave you each a glance, and his shoulders seemed to relax.

“Glad to see you all in one piece,” he said gruffly. “I’m sure Recovery Girl already gave you a lecture?”

“I have the sore ears to prove it,” Shinso answered.

“A night in that damn hospital should have been punishment enough,” Bakugo grumbled.

Mr. Aizawa rolled his eyes. “You should count yourselves lucky that it was just a night in the hospital.” He shrugged his shoulders. “No lecture tonight. I’ll have to thank Recovery Girl for doing my job for me then.”

Aizawa let the five of you pass, but he didn’t follow. Hearts stopped by him. The two of them exchanged a look. The boys continued walking, but you stopped, glancing back at them.

“Ayame,” Aizawa said. “What did you need to discuss?”

“I…” Hearts shifted from foot to foot. She smoothed down the front of her dress. “I think something bad is coming. I can sense it. It’s like when…” she gulped, and you could almost see the past in her expression, the pain. “I wanted your advice.”

A hazy image crackled in your mind. Kurogiri? The League of Villain member that warped members in the mist, but he was restrained in a metal seat. His dark purple mist-like face moved unnaturally, yellow eyes vibrating with a strange energy. Another face appeared, one that you recognized. No, Aizawa recognized. A boy with light blue wavy hair was fighting to come into focus under the mist.

Oboro Shirakumo.

You covered your mouth, feeling nausea creep up your throat. A migraine seared your temple. A single tear fell from your eye. Who was that? Pain tightened your chest as if you’d lost someone very dear to you, an old friend. You choked on a broken sob.

“Kokoro?” Mr. Aizawa asked, surprise filling his normally uninterested expression. “Are you okay?” He had turned away from Hearts and both of them were now staring at you.

You widened your eyes. You hadn’t meant to see that. Had you just read his mind? What was that? What was that pain? Who was Oboro?

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.” You repeated the apology again and again. Your whole body trembled.

“Hey, it’s okay. What didn’t you mean to do?” Aizawa asked. He took a step toward you, reaching out to you.

“I’m sorry.” Tears filled your vision. “I didn’t mean to see him. I didn’t mean to.”

Aizawa froze, eyes widening. “Kokoro…” That pain infiltrated his expression. He tried to mask it, but you felt your heart wrenching in your chest again.

You shook your head. “I didn’t mean to,” you repeated again.

“I’m sure it’s fine, Think. Just explain what happened,” Hearts said, trying to console you with her words. “If it was an accident, we’ll understand.”

It wasn’t fine. The pieces were coming together in your mind. Kurogiri and that boy were the same person. Oboro Shirakumo. They turned him into that villain. Aizawa knew him. You felt it.

“H-How could they do something like that to him?” you asked.

Aizawa clenched his teeth shut. You felt inconsolable sadness wash through you.

“To who?” Hearts asked. She glanced back at Aizawa. “What is she talking about?”

“It’s not true, Kokoro. It was a trick.” He was lying. Why was he lying? “What you saw wasn’t real, do you understand?”

You shook your head. “I’m sorry,” you murmured, hiccupping on another sob. You tightened your hand over your mouth, trembling.

A hand gently squeezed your shoulder, and you almost pulled away. “She’s been through a lot today. She probably just needs some rest. I’ll take her to her dorm room.”

“Hitoshi?” you asked.

“It’s me,” he answered. “You pushed your quirk a little too much today, right? You just need to give it a break. Once you get some sleep, you’ll feel better. Breathe.”

You found yourself nodding, taking in shallow breaths of air. Hearts and Aizawa exchanged another tense look, before waving the two of you on. Aizawa looked distressed, but he didn’t chase after you. Hitoshi wrapped an arm around your shoulders, and you leaned into his warmth.

Even as the two of you walked into the dorm building, you could still feel the lingering pain of Aizawa’s past haunting you. What you’d witnessed was beyond wrong. Oboro Shirakumo, Mr. Aizawa’s friend, had been changed into something unrecognizable. Who else could that happen to?

Hitoshi helped you into your room. He stood awkwardly next to you in the dimly lit space. You’d barely started breathing regularly.

“I can help you sleep,” he said.

“Please.”

Shinso’s eyes widened. “Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes—”

You felt his quirk push against your own, but almost like he laid a blanket over your mind. It felt like a welcoming presence, warm and soft.

“Get into bed, Kitten,” he said.

You obeyed his command, slipping under the covers. He eased off your visor, and his face became a blur. He wiped away the tears staining your cheeks.

“Go to sleep. Rest well.” His last command was all you remembered, before you drifted off to a numbing slumber.

[laffy-taffy-creations]

Whumptober day 28!!!!

This fic was cross-posted on AO3 here

Copy That, Copycat

Bloody Knife | Sacrifice | "You'll have to go through me first"

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Words: 885

Warnings: kidnapping, manipulation/lying, implied/referenced torture

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey uh… Vee?" Izuku asked.

"Hm?" I said, looking up from my homework.

"I know that you are busy and came to the common room for a sense of relaxation but uhm… We're gonna need one of your special skills…"

"Midoriya."

"...Yeah?"

"Just spit it out."

"Jirou, Mina, and Tokoyami were kidnapped!" He blurted. "The only lead we have is a photo, and I remembered you saying you had a knack for tracking stuff without your quirk so uh… I was wondering if you'd-"

"Why the fuck is that even a question, show me the photo." I looked him dead in the eyes. It shouldn't have been a question if I would at least try to track them.

He slid over a printed picture of them being dragged unconscious off to someplace in whatever building they were currently in.

"It's from an anonymous source, I managed to swipe a copy of it cause when you track successfully its usually quicker…"

I scanned it for every detail in the environment then pulled out a scrap of paper and wrote down the address.

"Woah, that was quicker than I thought…" I heard him whisper.

"It's a more zoomed out shot than most so there's a lot more environment for me to analyze and pinpoint."

"Okay, thank you, I'll, uh-"

I folded and pocketed the paper. "You won't do shit. I'll take care of it, they'll be back by tonight."

He looked at me stunned.

"Just trust me on this one alright?" I said.

He nodded and walked away, letting me return to my homework.

The villains who took them were the LOV, who else, and luckily I had a separate persona for dealing with them.

I finished my homework and made my way to the base.

"Hello Copycat."

"Heyo Shigs! Quick question, I heard about some new hostages in our grasp…"

"Hm? Oh, they're all in the 4th room."

"Nice. Are we perchance trying to get any info out of them? Or…."

"Leverage."

"Ahhh, I see. Well then, you don't mind if I pay them a quick visit, do you~?"

He shook his head. "Go on in. Should I get you a drink in the meantime?"

"Just vodka! Regular amount, please and thank you~," I said, and skipped on into the interrogation room. "Hhhoooo-kay, there you 3 are."

Mina perked up instantly. "Wha- WHO ARE YOU‽" she screamed.

"Chill! Chill, I'm an agent on the inside okay? I work with the villains to benefit the heroes. Now, you three are in kind of a tight spot so we're gonna figure out how to work around this okay?"

Had it not been for the handcuffs looped around a bar I'm certain all 3 of them would be backing as far away from me as possible. I noticed a bloody knife that had been used on them was laying on a nearby countertop. Probably Toga's.

"Alright, here's what we're gonna do, first I'm checking you all for injuries." I approached slowly and checked as quickly as I could, mentally noting every laceration and wound I saw.

"Now for the fun part," I murmured to myself. I got out my lockpick set. "Once you give me your wrists, we're all in agreement that you follow my instructions until we're out, is that clear?"

"I don't think you'll have much time for that, Copycat."

I turned around. Toga. Of course.

"Oh, won't I?" I challenged, picking up her knife and lunging.

While they were all distracted and it seemed I was preoccupied with fighting Toga, I broke the handcuffs from a distance using one of my quirks. Using my birth one, I sent a telepathic message, 'you three need to run NOW, I broke the cuffs, get out of here.'

Toga seemed to notice but that's where she faltered, giving me an opening.

"You're not gonna touch those fucking kids, you understand me?"

She nodded, and somewhat afraid expression crossing her face.

I left and went to find the others, in time to take a hit for one of them from Shigaraki, whose quirk did not work on me. Not when my others were active and negating his.

"You'll have to go through me first, bitch," I said.

"Why are you even helping them‽" he demanded.

"They're my friends. And the real Copycat looks a little something like this." I removed the illusion surrounding my body.

The revelation was disorienting enough for me to kick him back and herd the others out the door.

"Welp, looks like I can't use that disguise anymore around them…" I muttered to myself leading them to a public area so we could take the transit back to campus.

"OV? Is that actually you? Or are you still that Copycat person posing as them?" Jirou asked.

"It's me alright, I was posing as her to get info. I don't have the time to explain, let's just get back to campus please," I told them.

"I'm sending you a list of all my questions and I expect some answers," Mina said playfully.

"Yeah, that's fair…Nobody tell Deku. He'd be all over me."

"You mean because you kicked ass or because of the ability to sneak into the villian's team?" Jirou joked, breaking the tension for me. I laughed, managing to relax on the train ride back.

[plushyraptor]

Jellowshipping week 2024!

Day 7 - Free Day! 🥳

I continue feeling unwell and tired, and I'm afraid I can't finish this piece in time - heck, I'm yet to even give it a title. 🙃

However, that won't stop me from putting the ~1,200 words I'd already scribbled up riiiight here in this post on my Tumblr dot com. Since I couldn't participate in jellowshipping week as much as I had wanted to, for the last day I wanted to put together a bigger piece using some of the prompts I couldn't get to.

Alas, with health issues continuing to plague me, I find it difficult to properly participate even in the last day. I don't want to abandon this story, though; I've got plenty of notes scribbled down with a fairly solid idea of where I wanna take it, but for now, for the last day of jellowshipping 2024, I can only upload the aforementioned ~1,200 words. I appreciate this li'l event being hosted, either way!

Once finished, I'll post a link on my Tumblr dot com. 😊 Here we go!

A restless Ledian was getting desperate trying to find a better resting spot; all the searching yielded no fruit! Every spot so far had ended up being too loud or busy because of other Pokémon, or having a lot of sunshine making it too warm, or not having enough sunshine making it too cold. If only the Ledian wasn’t such a shallow sleeper in the first place!

It got distracted for a moment when a Raichu zoomed by, surfing in the air on its tail. For the Raichu, it was the perfect time to indulge in afternoon zoomies, even if its trainer had vocally disagreed with it flying away so fast.

The Raichu zoomed past all the trees and shrubs until it reached a park, where children’s joyful laughter could be heard alongside the cries of their Pokémon. At their age, an inflated rubber ball provides endless possibilities for play, and little Pokémon like Happiny and Munchlax were not going to miss out on that, either.

They sure looked like they were having fun with that bouncy sphere thingy! The Raichu briefly considered joining their game, but maybe it should return to its trainer, instead; they must’ve been miles apart by the time the Raichu stopped.

Back to zooming! The Raichu decided to give itself a challenge by surfing on the sidewalk, weaving between people, startling some more than others – including Lillie, whose side it brushed against. And since surfing through the air builds up some electricity in a Raichu’s body despite mostly using psychic energy, such a brief contact was enough for that electricity to give Lillie a loud and snappy introduction. She yelped and flinched.

“Lillie! Are you hurt?” Mallow asked, immediately dropping her shopping bag.

The blonde looked to her left and to her right, amused by the ends of her hair bending and pointing upward. She giggled.

“I was just startled, is all. I’m not in any pain.”

Mallow couldn’t help herself and poked some of Lillie’s floating strands of hair – until she herself got a taste of that static zap.

“Oh! I-is it my turn to ask if you’re hurt?”

“Hee hee, you can! But I’m in no pain, either. I’m just made of silly! I don’t know what I was expecting to happen.”

“Now your pigtails are doing the same thing,” Lillie pointed out, “but admittedly I’m scared to touch them.”

“Oh, no! How are we going to hug at this rate? This truly is a tale of tragic proportions, two princesses separated by the wretched curse of a berserk Raichu~!” Mallow said in a playfully dramatic tone, accompanying her words with equally exaggerated posing.

“What a terrible fate has befallen us,” the blonde replied with a chuckle, then handed Mallow’s bag back to her.

It was a paper bag containing a sole shoe box; Mallow needed a new pair of sneakers since she’d worn her last out to the point of it falling apart, and with only a single back-up pair at home, she simply considered it reasonable to have a safety net even in the form of footwear.

The purchase didn’t go without its struggles, though; first she found a cute floral pair they didn’t have in her size. Then there was a neat red pair that would’ve been a great match for her tube top if it hadn’t been the least comfortable pair of shoes she’d ever set foot in. And the cute pair that was modelled after Steenee had quite the poutworthy price tag.

She had eventually settled on the pair in said box – comfy white sneakers that wouldn’t look out of place in a video game about fresh cephalokids.

Mallow took the bag from her. “Thank you, milady. I’m glad you agree with being a princess,” she said with a smile.

Lillie’s head sunk a bit. “As long as I get to be your princess specifically,” she said, bashfulness lacing her voice.

“Sure, I… you just, ugh, who authorised you to make me blush? I don’t think I did!” Mallow replied, visibly flustered but still playful.

“Oh, am I in trouble?” Lillie asked, wiggling innocently.

“Yes, I think you are. My fingers haven’t touched your sides in a while,” said Mallow in response without holding her mischievous intents back. Sensing her antics, Lillie flinched.

“Indeed! Perhaps we could arrange it to stay that way for longer!”

Mallow stepped closer, looking at her smugly. But then her expression shifted from mischievous to simply smiling.

“You’re right, I shouldn’t turn you into a squeaky toy in front of everyone.”

Lillie pouted. “Squeaky toy?!” She repeated, squeaking indeed. Mallow couldn’t help bursting into giggles. The blonde put her hands on her hips. “Unbelievable,” she added as a soft blush appeared on her face.

As the girls continued on their way, they eventually reached the park with the children and Pokémon playing, though instead of a ball they were all joyfully occupied with massive bubbles coming from a large bubble wand. The Happiny in particular had its itty-bitty mind blown by the floating shiny spheres; she simply sat in the grass, eyes and mouth wide open.

“Aww, this makes me wanna have Lana’s Popplio blow us bubbles too!” Mallow exclaimed. “I feel so jealous of those kids right now.”

“Her bubbles are quite strong, aren’t you scared of flying away in one?”

“I’m not,” she replied simply.

“...well, now I feel jealous.”

Mallow giggled. “You know I’d come and save you if anything were to happen to you.”

What a blush-inducing thing to say! Lillie looked away, definitely not imagining Mallow carrying her like a princess.

The direction she looked into happened to have a shop with something eye-catching in its display. She slowed down, but only briefly, picking her pace back up so Mallow wouldn’t notice the-

“Lillie! Do you see that Bellossom plushie?!”

There was so much joy in her voice, Lillie felt a little bad speaking up.

“...oh, no. You spoiled the surprise.”

Mallow looked at her, the supposedly spoilt surprise very much actually on her face. When the surprise faded, though, Lillie could see it was a touching moment for her.

“Lillie, you don’t have to buy it for me. I’m perfectly fine without one,” she said, nervously rubbing her lower arm; and Lillie knew she wasn’t quite sincere about the stuffed toy, with how fond she was of Bellossom to begin with. But Palentine's was approaching fast, and Lillie was yet to buy anything as a gift for her.

“I don’t consider it an obligation. It’s my desire to gift it to you, as a means of showing appreciation for everything you do for me. A-and that I… love you.”

A few tears welled up in Mallow’s eyes. But she didn’t want to drag the mood down, so she quickly wiped them off.

“Well, fine, but in exchange you’ll let me get you something too!”

Lillie folded her lips, unsure how to handle such a quick change of moods.

“Giving gifts is a pleasure, and I don’t want to deprive you of that,” she said, admittedly feeling somewhat apprehensive over Mallow spending money on her.

Mallow didn’t hesitate tackling the blonde with a hug.

“You with your fancy words! You’re such a nerd, Lillie!”

Again, being called a nerd – how was Lillie supposed to interpret this? Mallow’s gleefully affectionate voice was in such contrast with what nerd as a word felt like to the blonde.

“I love that about you,” Mallow added, softer. The message became clear.

[itsmerachael5]

thinking about toxin. more so with her whole "family timeline"

i mean.. if i really think about it.. when chaos agent (then issac) and toxin had met -- not going by the dumb retcon after chapter 2 s3, they were lab partners. working in a lab with many people, eventually they fell in love and had chic; rather quick, but in terms of Issac's character this makes sense to me. when he finds someone he likes he's very quick to show this and favor them.

but anyways.. after the whole event that created chaos agent and made him the 'person' he is. she chose to follow him, and stayed just the same. he's changed, unsure if he's even the same person telling her he is for the sake of an easier time. but she's the same and accepts this change whole heartedly, pushing Chic to as well. Even after he admits that he may not be the same man she knew, she's okay with this to his surprise.

so they together build up enough numbers to create a sizable company (?) creating alter. She would help him with any sort of medicine/science related tasked he'd ask for. She was just as smart as when they first got together and the chaos agent wanted to utilize this, however their relationship began to slowly take a toll.. Issac i could imagine is very affectionate, but soon they would argue over things, and their relationship would start as marital to something more professional and strained -- but they still had a daughter together, and treated this as a family situation. you wouldn't even be able to guess they were married, as Chaos Agent doesn't refer to Toxin as many pet names.

skip ahead to when Chic dies, Chaos Agent lost in what to do, he knows he doesn't want to be a good guy. and neither does she, but she's the one to call them parents, bringing it up saying they'll grieve together. This doesn't happen, not on screen at least. if anything they become more distant than before. her working in steamy stacks, and he's all the way in Pleasant Park, trying to rebuild what he once had. even admitting to Skye, when she worked with him, that he felt no need to see or catch up with Toxin during this. They would have a zoom call a week. and even then that to me seems more business than relationship.

before i continue the rest of this. my assumption is that because of Issac becoming one with The Chaos Agent, it would only keep emotions that were necessary. Romantic feelings for Toxin seemed to dissipate but his fatherly love and desperation for acceptance from his daughter remained. he wanted to be there for her and be a father and be in her life, but he didn't know how to do this as she hated him.

Maybe he felt the need of acceptance from her because Toxin was already okay with the change. maybe he wanted to do this for evil manipulation reasons but im strong in the belief that he just wanted her to know that he still cared for her. She was still his little girl, and he could never harbor hate for her. Even though, he treated her with sarcasm and harshness when they she was first introduced, i think this was just ryan trying to figure out the dynamic. or possibly chaos agent reacted this way to her because of how she treated him with such hostility already, he didnt know how to be kinder til the party, when he truly understood why she treated him this way.

But back to Toxin, after the death of Chic, i'm sure she greived. she had snuck out to go to her funeral, and to comfort chaos agent. I wished that we were able to see more of this though, how her death affected not just Chaos Agent but Toxin. As she didnt even get to see or hear her own daughter before her demise. i want to know what it was like for her. was it just as hard as it was for Chaos Agent? did she lose sleep to waking nightmares, unable to prevent what was already done? or did she bury herself in whatever work he would give her trying to distract from the truth? They clearly didn't talk much during this, and i think thats maybe the saddest part to me, that during all of this hardship and grieving, all they would share is a weekly zoom call. i couldn't imagine how that would feel.

This puts a larger strain on the relationship i think.. and they surely don't think of each other as fondly as they once did. I wonder if seeing him reminded her of Chic, and vice versa. Did they ever argue about it? did they bring it up after that moment at the funeral?

sadly so many unanswered questions. because Chic didn't get alot of screen time.

but after Rue, when chaos agent found out that she was a clone of Chic, he was shocked. but i wish i got to see more of it, when he was happy to finally be reunited with his daughter, a second chance to do things better and he sort of had closure for her death as she has been reborn, she even has Chic's memories. so they aren't entirely the same, but she remembers Issac, she remembered growing up with her mother and father working late in the lab, she remembered the things that Chic does. but we're never sure how much of that memory is retained, its all just speculation. But for sure the only people who have that memory is Chaos Agent, Toxin, And Cameo, who she thankfully reunites with. and cameo is just glad to have her friend back

but now, after this, chaos agent changes again. after the defeat of Fusion and sacrificing his body, the chaos agent remains , keeping Isaac's memories eventually it and Isaac have become one. So, to survive it needs a new body, and through its greed and evil decides to take Rue as she was the closest. Now chaos Rue, the people Toxin is supposed to be closest to have changed again, and she remains the same. Her husband and daughter now entangled in a disgusting fusion, and this is all unknown to her. assuming chaos agent had died. And she had come to accept this, but Chaos Rue would tell her eventually and Toxin would still continue to work with it. Barely holding on to any similarities between her old life and this new one.

Maybe she was okay with this, not realizing til then how much things had changed, maybe she wanted to separate herself from the person she was before Chaos Agent arrived. But nonetheless she was still deep down the same person, when the only family she had left were only imitations of those before them.

More time would pass. Chaos Agent would eventually make a deal with Isaac to separate from Rue, and let her be at peace. The guilt from this is probably what drove Isaac to ask such a thing. he didn't want to harm Rue anymore than he had when she was Chic, and because the Chaos Agent still had Isaac within him it folded and allowed for this to happen. all it wanted was for Isaac to push for total control of the island again, something he would be able to manage now with Midas gone.

And now Toxin and Chaos Agent are still separated. She would barely if ever visit and Chaos Agent is now more enamored with Tek.. i mean, maybe not intentionally but he certainty was trying Something.

Later now touched by Jules' "gift" from Midas, and becoming empowered by the golden touch. he becomes more sinister, but this time Toxin isn't sure what to do, she wants to follow him as it's everything she's know as of the past at least decade. but he's become so corrupt.

but she does so, and stays with him. But after this we don't hear much from her.. and her death is tragic. Midas, possessed by his most evil self kills her crushing her in the rubble of steamy stacks. Chaos Agent says his goodbyes and she's done.

i havent seen the episode which this happens in a while so im sure theres more to it than that, but still. After Toxin dies, so does Chaos Agent, being defeated by the current cast of heroes.

and what's left is just Rue. The clone of Chic, an imitation of someone she'd never met. Accepted by a family who cared for her because she was that imitation. and Toxin was also the last piece of Chic left. the only person who was still organically themselves through the whole timeline of events.

[existentialflirt]

Some Good Omens Head Canons (because it's more meta and shippy shit. s/o to @v0litioncheck as usual cos when it comes to the shippier things, I don't know who struck the iron first.

— 6000 years of pining is cute and all and I guess Neil canonized it (as much as he ever will canonize anything) in season two, but idek idek idek, I think it's much more meaningful if they've been together. It even works in the first season and to a lesser degree, book (the question will always be if it was intended to imply a deeper intimacy between them and while I say yes, absolutely, idek, I think I'm a little biased). I'd even argue that it's some of the most normalized queer representation I've seen in recent memory. Because you know, we've seen stories with straight couples where it's just a given they're together and they're intimate in small ways aside from kissing. Touches, looks, the way they talk to each other, tones, pet names, inside jokes, familiarity, which you know, I think are much more organic building blocks to portraying a relationship than y'know kissing and sex scenes (not that I wouldn't have welcomed more explicit intimacy, but the point is that the quieter gestures paint a satisfying tapestry of two characters that are very much in love and have been together for a very long time. Perhaps this internal interpretation of their closeness is why season 2 didn't sit right with me in the end because I feel like it's trying to have it's cake (shippy, romantic fan service that could easily fall in line with the assumption that they're basically married) and eat it too (imply they're actually mutually pining for each other but incapable of communicating that desire which...idek man, that's a pretty hard pill to swallow with how goddamned old they are).

— Demons and angels have a distinctly nonlinear understanding of time and history. I think it's part of the joke of their anachronism in any given time period, but I also think it's serious meta due to an aside in the book about the gift of prophesy and how it interacts with humans. I think it was basically like they were tapping into something but it got scrambled up in their brains most the time. Honestly I think it's the same way for Crowley and Aziraphale, but they're more capable of dealing with it, but maybe not considering Aziraphale's distractable and slightly dotty and Crowley's not that much better. They're both very, very smart, with the wisdom of age on their side but also I mean, they're processing so much information at any given time.

— The reason Aziraphale hasn't fallen despite being in love with a demon, his own hedonistic tendencies, and lying to his boss(es) is because The Fall was a one time thing and part of the Great Plan. After all, you can't have good and evil without the language to express the concepts. God is omniscient but Her ineffability comes in Her silences over certain matters. Let them believe the war was about rebellion and not some cruel twist in testing and toying with her creations. (I also think it's why Az's punishment for conspiring against heaven was death instead of being cast out, although that could lend entirely to Gabriel's temperament than God's will.) Personally, I think God checked out some time after the whole Jesus situation, and is more comparable to an absent, low effort CEO that's taking meetings on Skype or Zoom every few month from their villa in Tahiti.

— So, the point of this impending ramble about supernatural creatures in a body capable of experiencing sensuality, is that I do believe Crowley and Aziraphale are horny for each other. They lust after each other. They fuuuuuuck. Is this natural for either of them? Not really, but I think there are layers to the idea that they've "gone native". It's not just that they drive fast, wear clothing, dress aesthetically, learn slang, learn technology, and eat food/get drunk. They convey emotions, they enjoy frivolities to their kind like sleeping and reading for pleasure. The feeling you get from their kin is that they're driven by purpose rather than any real personal motivation. I do think it took them time (kinda, sorta) to recognize their desires and understand their feelings. They were relatively new beings poured into material forms with hormones and feelings, which I think was probably a lot. Like, yeah if they were incorporeal beings, intimacy would look a lot different, but they're not. They got bodies. (Also I'm a sucker for articulating soulmates with eroticism, so sue me.)

— Honestly, one of my favourite GO thing is the implication that the dichotomy of Good and Evil are less moral compasses and more like rivaling corporations. There are so many interesting components to that idea that just fuels half of my head canons. I like the urban fantasy aspect of it to, but I'm just...I'm just a sucker for the visual language and the anachronistic bits of them talking about licensing, paperwork, invoices, lying in progress reports in the context of miracles and divine/infernal influence on humanity. God, that's so good.

...............................................................as a tangent, that's another thing that frustrates me about season two. Have I mentioned this? Probably, but whatever, we're going to whine about it again anyway. Because I reeeeeaaaaaalllllllly get why they changed the ending of s1 to make it more dynamic. Fine. Great. The book ending I think is more cohesive to the overall story, but I totally get how it would play as anticlimactic in the visual medium. The issue is that s1 ends with this massive, glorious hoodwink, which...is never really addressed like? Did anyone in Heaven or Hell figure out their little trick? If not why don't they treat Aziraphale and Crowley as more dangerous? The grand irony of s2 is that it gels better with the end of the book, which was so much more lowkey. *sighs* Maybe it'll come back up in s3, but honestly, it eats at me. (Generally, my head canon fix is that it got lost in the shuffle of bureaucracy and the chaos of trying to shore things back up in the wake of the apocalypse-that-wasn't.)