#incorrect dickbabs quotes

[incorrectbatfam]

Dick: So what do you do?

Barbara: I work in genetic research and I'm currently trying to eliminate all cancers.

Dick: Wow, impressive.

Barbara: Then I'll move on to Leos.

[shyjusticewarrior]

Jim: I'm gonna have the strawberry rhubarb. Since it's my last meal, I'm gonna splurge.

Dick: People have said I look like Keanu Reeves but hotter.

Barbara: I said that and I was joking.

[timdrakeismypatronus]

Barbara: that was a pretty nasty hit. How’s your head?

Dick: well, I haven’t had any complaints yet.

Barbara: excuse me??

Dick: Oh…um…I mean, I think I’ll live.

[livsoulsecrets]

Barbara: I know you're deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are...

Dick: [tearfully] It's not a joke, I'm a legit snack.

[49311grayson]

Wally: So… I’ve seen you spending lots of time with Barbara recently.

Dick: It's not what it looks like, Wal, I swear.

Wally: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?

Dick: No! You’re the only one to me.

Wally: Is that so?

Dick: I promise. Barbara and I were just dating, okay?

Wally: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?

Dick: You are still my one and only best friend! Barbara's just the love of my life, nothing more!

Wally: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?

Dick: Of course!

Wally: Bro...

Roy: What the-

[literarypigeon]

Wally West: I have a group chat with Dick and Barbara called “me, you, and Steve”

Wally West: We can’t decide who Steve is, me or Babs.

Roy Harper: You’re both Steve, it’s Dick and Haley now.

Wally West: YOU’RE RIGHT

[dc-and-damirae]

dick *about barbra*: my girlfriend has been listening to, too many crime podcasts and now she knows too much dick: yesterday she just said “Bodies don’t float if you puncture the lungs” so if I go missing TELL THE COPS SHE DID IT

[shipsdoishipidk]

Dick and Barbara just after getting married:

Dick: Babs you know I love you right?

Barbara: *purring* Ofcourse~ how about…we take this show on the road..hmm?

Dick: Yes…but also about the marriage license-

Barbara: *kissing him* what about it? We can just get it later..

Dick: welll……we don’t realllyy need to get a marriage certificate, right? *laughing awkwardly* isn’t it just enough that everyone important to us knows?

Barbara: *stopping* what.

Dick: uuhhmmm…

Barbara: what. happened.

*flashback to several years ago*

Dick: *drunk off his ass* Jay!! *kissing his face* My baby brother I’m so glad you’re back!!

Jason: me too, Dick…say..why don’t we make it official that I’m back?

Dick: hmm??

Jason: why don’t you officially prove that you’re happy to see me and have me back?

Dick: what do you want?

Jason: what will you give me?

Dick: *beaming and hanging off his shoulders* anything anything!

Jason: *smirking slowly* alright, dickie, ya better keep your promise.

The next morning

Dick: Jason!

Jason: *Holding the marriage certificate that is very much on fire* Can’t return me now!! You’re mine now, Dickface!

Dick: JASON!!

*flashforward to forward to the present with Dick and Barbara*

Dick: uhhhh…nothing…ha…ha…

Barbara:

[kstarlitchaotics]

*Dick gets a phone call*

Dick half asleep: Yeah. Mmhhm. Alright *sighs* I'm coming.

Barbara: What was that?

Dick: Tim has escaped from the mansion and is out terrorizing the city.

Barbara gets comfortable again in the bed: Okay have fun.

[batfammeetsspidergang]

Damian, sees Dick and Barbara being happy together

Damian: That’s it. I’m tired of being single.

Damian, points to Jon: Jon, we’re in a relationship now.

Jon, blushes: O-Okay.

[incorrectbatfam]

Kory: Can I buy you a drink?

Barbara: I have a boyfriend.

Kory: *counts out her money*

Kory: He can only get something small then.

[shyjusticewarrior]

Jason: She's so irresistible.

Barbara: Really? Ravager?

Jason: Really? Dick Grayson?

Barbara: ... Continue.

[drpoisonoaky]

Dick: *on the phone* Hey Babs, do you know my blood type?

Babs: Of course, it's B-.

Dick: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!

[violent138]

Dick upon returning to the Batcave from 'Haven: "Oh, there she is, I've missed my girl."

Barbara, rolling her eyes, trying not to blush.

Dick going right past her to throw himself onto the Batmobile and hug it: "Hello, gorgeous."

[gothamgirlgayngs]

Dick: *pointing to a picture of Kori, Babs, and Wally* These are my three Red Headed Girlfriends. and Yes, They Smoke Weed.

[griffle-musings]

Dick Grayson: Do you know how I broke up with Babs so I could start dating Kori again?

Wally West: Absolutely, that was really hard for you.

Dick: Yeah. That actually never happened.

Wally : What do you mean?

Dick: I'm still dating Babs.

Wally: ...What do you mean?

Dick: I'm dating both of them and neither one of them knows it and I feel terrible about it.

Wally: But Barbara is gone.

Dick : She's...

Wally: What do you mean?

Dick: She's not gone.

Wally: So you broke up with Kori.

Dick: I didn't break up with either one of them.

Wally:

Wally: What do you mean?

Dick: You process this however you need to process this. If you want me to keep talking-

Wally: Which one are you dating?

Dick: Both.

Wally: Are you dating Kori?

Dick: I'm dating Kori.

Wally: Are you dating Barbara?

Dick: Yes.

Wally: How do you do that?

Dick: They made me choose.

Wally: You have to choose! You can't have both women!

Dick: What was I supposed to do?

Wally: You think you can have a bunch of wives?!

Dick:

Wally: You get one wife! This is the way the world works!

Dick: Why?!

Wally: I don't know.