#innocent quotes

[black-lone-knight]

It's been two days since Dick’s arrival at the Wayne Manor. Currently Dick is holding a magazine with a picture of him and Bruce on its cover.

Dick: What's a DILF?

Bruce, chocks on his tea: What?!

Dick, shows the cover: Here, it says you're a DILF.

Bruce: Ah, it means...

Bruce: ...

Bruce: a Dad who Is Loving and Fantastic.

...

Months later.

Superman: Batman has told me a lot about you.

Dick as Robin, enthusiastic: He has?

Superman: Yes, your Dad loves you so much.

Robin: Holy hotdogs! He's a real DILF.

Superman:

Superman:

Superman: Oh yeah... He certainly is.

[aprosin]

Mark: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions? Jonah: Put spaghetti in it. Mark: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you. Adam: Put spaghetti in it. Mark: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two. Cesar: Put spaghetti in it. Mark: I am no longer taking suggestions.

[marune2]

Crack Nacht is Yami sexual

But the yami‘s are Faust sexual too

Now fighting sukehiro and ichika over Nacht and Nacht can’t choose wo he take well Polly or fight to death it will be

[pastelchaos12]

Cross: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.

Ink, Blue, &Dream: Okay.

Cross: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.

Blue: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Dream: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.

Ink: Bold of you to assume I can die.

[friedcowboypeachpurse]

*the Squad at Disneyland, in the teacups*

Hizen, Yamanbagiri, and Izuminokami : *spinning a little and talking*

Koryuu, Ookanehira , and Nansen: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

[corinthian-og-begay-docrime]

The Dreaming gang as Incorrect Quotes:

Part 1:

Morpheus: We need to distract these guys

Lucienne:Leave it to me

Lucienne: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Corinthian , Matthew the raven, and Gault: *Immediately begin arguing*

Meryn Pumkinhead, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

[linnea-bowiesversion]

James: a mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

James: and I started thinking

James: like it was just trying to get food

James: what if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck

James: how would I feel?

Regulus:

Regulus: are you okay?

[mwolf0epsilon]

How did Rex get his name?

5 year old CT-7567, running excitedly towards Cody the moment he sees him entering the CC cadet barracks: Cody! Cody! Fox gave me a name!!! Cody, surprised since Fox had initially opposed taking in '67: Really? That's great vod'ika! CT-7567, practically bouncing on the tips of his toes: Yeah! He said it means 'King' in a really old language used by ancient Jetii! He said it fit me because of two reason! Cody, curious: Those being? CT-7567, pausing to think: Well… He only said the one, not the second... But he said I had the makings of a great leader! Cody, a little suspicious: That's awfully kind of Fox. What did he name you then? CT-7567: My name is Rex! Cody, well aware that 'Rex' is a popular name for pet massiffs and dogs: Cody, looking towards Fox who has a shit eating grin: Cody, unwilling to shatter Rex's innocence well before time: … That's a great name Rex��� Wear it with pride vod'ika… Rex, grinning from ear to ear: I will! -runs off happily to go tell his batchers- Cody, watching his little brother go: … Cody, looking back at Fox once Rex is gone: You motherfucker... Fox, cackling: I wasn't lying. He's got the makings of a great leader… Fox: It just so happens that he's also a little bitch that bites. Cody: Start running.

[luxthestrange]

MASHLE Incorrect quotes#19...Dark Past

Magicless You sitting in a meeting with the rest of the visionaries when your favorite assistant comes in with a device

008*Holding a phone for you*Mx.L/n Your ex the "That clingy, rich asshole" is on the phone! Says it's urgent and wants to talk to you! Pardon my language but sounds a little DTF-y...

The Divine Visionaire at the table turns around looking at you in shock, and outburst of "YOU DATED SOMEONE!?" threw out as you roll your eyes knowing...he finally found you again

Magicless!Y/n*Throws his cup of water on the floor* Oh, GODS, it was one time! *crosses arms* If I hadn't slept with that privileged asshole, Humanity woulda perished already!

Kaldo*stares in stunned silence* ...You what?

Magicless!Y/n*Grabs the phone excusing yourself as you answer the call with a faked smile as you grind your teeth*...What?

Innocent*On the other line*"Our sons miss you~...and I see you found our long lost youngest~"*Starts going on about his plans again*

Magicless!Y/n*Growls and rolls eyes,Blocking the mic*....oh god fuckin' dammit-

The Divine Visionaries:...

...It was so good that humanity's demise was postponed...should there be more of Ex-Zero with Magicless Y/n?....

[adeptune01]

Jason: SCREW you Replacement!

Tim: I CANNOT believe you fell for that!

Dick: Whoa- whoa- let's all calm down here! Damian- what happened?

Tim: This numbskull-

Jason: I should just shoot-

Dick: I ASKED DAMIAN! Damian- what happened?

Damian: It has been a long time since Todd frequented fast food establishments and Tim told him that while he was gone McDonalds had recently added to their menu...

Dick: Oh. Oh no.

Jason: Fuck you, Drake, for telling me that there was an "among us" meal at McDonalds. That was the most humiliating experience of my life!

Dick: Tim!

Tim: This is just payback for that time Todd told me he had put fear serum in one of my Kuerig pods and not knowing which one would add "spice to my mornings".

Dick: JASON-

[black-lone-knight]

When you don't tell your boyfriend you're secretly a vigilante, bad things will happen.

Bernard: Being Bruce Wayne is awesome. Tim, working on his computer: Ah-huh. Bernard: All those parties and being drunk all the time. Tim, not paying attention at all: Hmm. Bernard: I want to be like Bruce Wayne. Tim, deadpan: I assure you, you don't want to spend your late nights stitching yourself up, like Bruce does. Bernard: Why would he stitch himself up? Tim, realized what he just said: Bernard: Tim? Tim, sweating profusely: Bernard: What did you mea- Tim: HE'S INTO BDSM.

[aprosin]

Gabriel: Yeah, no, I'm fucking with him at this point. You ever heard of gaslighting? Gabriel: That's, like, my specialty. I'm the devil. Did you know that? Hi, nice to meet you, I'm the devil, Thatcher. Gabriel: I already know who you are. You failed to save that officer one time. Adam: Oh, gaslight me, gaslight me! Gabriel: Uh, I already am. I was gaslighting you this whole time. Adam: (laughing excitedly) Cool! Gabriel: Shut up.

[yvain]

Louise Glück, excerpt from “A Myth of Innocence,” in Averno

[jehcee]

Sirius: Reggie is annoying

Remus: and james is fucking annoying

Sirius: don't say that moony... James is better.

Remus: and you call me oblivious.

[perfectquote]

I swear I only want to hear about you, to know what you’ve been doing. It’s a hundred years since we’ve met- it may be another hundred years before we meet again.

Edith Wharton // The Age of Innocence

[corinthian-og-begay-docrime]

The Dreaming Squad as incorrect quotes

Part 9:

*The squad is over at Morpheus 's house*

Lucienne: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?

Morpheus: ... N-No...

Morpheus, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Lucienne, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!

Corinthian: I see a-

Morpheus, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Lucienne: Oh, well I-

Morpheus: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

Morpheus, amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Matthew the raven: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Gault: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

Morpheus: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!

Morpheus: I am someone who owns four ovens...

Morpheus, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...

Morpheus: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...

Meryn Pumkinhead, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!

Morpheus: …

Lucienne: Ohhh, toasty boi! Four- Five ovens!

Morpheus: …

Morpheus, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS