#meanwhile dick and Tim:

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Instead of Dick or Tim, Red Hood straight up goes for kidnapping Bruce Wayne and keeping him hostage just to see how desperate the birds get in trying to find him.

It’s a foolproof plan. Batman won’t blow his cover unless absolutely necessary, and “Brucie” would never know how to slip away from a crime lord of Red Hood’s caliber. It’s foolproof. It’s perfect. Jason can keep dropping hints and make threats towards the birds and watch Bruce squirm without consequences if he plays this right.

But then “Brucie” keeps begging him not to hurt his kids…

[feyburner]

Concept: The Gotham Citizen app has a forum for posting candid photos of vigilantes and there’s an ongoing phenomenon where photos of Tim are impossibly gorgeous no matter the angle and photos of Dick (one of the most beautiful people in the entire world) look like when you take high-speed photos of Olympic athletes mid-sport

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

Ghostwriter was really asking for soup time at this point.

He had apologized for his first Christmas truce before, last year he even convinced Clockwork to help him make a copy of the original work he had ruined.

So why in god’s gracious earth did he wake up to Amity Park being in a hallmark movie.

Danny glared as the people milled about the center of town like they haven’t since the portal opening.

It was unnerving, the only thing really missing from the equation was some out of town love interest or something.

“Hey, excuse me.”

Tall and built with black hair and blue eyes.

Oh you got to be-

~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick tried to make himself look more charming as the guy he approached turned around.

When he heard that the justice league were getting concerning calls about a town In Illinois, he saw an out from the Christmas gala.

Sure Dick enjoyed the season, but the fact that he has to spend a large amount of the winter season putting up a front as the perfect firstborn was not something he wanted to do unless he had to.

That being said, the town was a bit unnerving. He hadn’t seen anything supernatural per say but the constant cheer is something he had only ever seen on the silver screen of his home. He had tried to approach several different people only to be met with seasons greetings and promptly ignored when as they ran off to do whatever small towns do for the holidays.

This guy at least wasn’t plastering a smile on his face.

“Hey, excuse me I’m new in town and looking around, my name is-“

“Let me guess, Rupert or Orlando or some shit.”

“What?”

“Well it has to be pompous and annoying. It’s kind of a trend and shit last time I checked.”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about man I just wanted to ask-“

The man snorted as he left, throwing over his shoulder with a large amount of snark,

“For a tour around town? A place to stay? A friendly face? Sorry man, man but I’m not interested. The town square is full, ask someone else I have a date with a caffeine addiction.”

Dick watched a bit stupefied as the guy weaves into the ground and out of his eyesight.

“Well he seemed charming.”

Dick raised his phone to the earpiece and sighed,

“Yeah well, he’s the first person who didn’t sound like they weren’t on a script so far. I didn’t even know that midwesterners took Christmas so seriously. How long until you reach town Jay?”

I’m reaching midtown just about now. It looks like Santa took a shit on every-“

There was a sudden squeal of tires as the line cut.

Oh no.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jason gasped as he tried to calm his breath glancing at the guy he almost hit on his bike.

Jesus Christ that was close.

“Shit man are you alright?”

“Peachy. Always liked pancakes and all that.”

~~~~~~~

Danny felt a blush hit him as the behemoth of a guy let out a snort. It was embarrassing that he didn’t notice the guy until he almost became a smear, the dude was built like a tank and wearing a red helmet.

“I shouldn’t’ve taken that turn that quickly.. sometimes forget I’m not at home.”

“Oh yeah? Where’s home for you?”

“Gotham if you believe that.”

“Explains why you drive like you’re chased by death.”

“You have no idea..”

He took off his helmet with another snort and shake of the head. A white wisp in a sea of black shook out while mirthful blue eyes met his.

Crap..

“Name’s Jason. You are?”

“Nunya,”

The guy raised a brow mildly confused.

“Pardon?”

“Nunyabusinessbye!”

Danny took off before he was done with the sentence. He could feel eyes on his retreat for the second time today.

‘Jesus, smooth recovery Fenton.’

~~~~~~~~

Tim rubbed his eyes as he listened to his older brothers bicker over the coms.

He couldn’t understand the issue with the surveillance! All the cameras and mics are properly functioning but for some reason everything is corrupted and it’s driving Tim up a wall!

A break, Tim needed a break from this Airbnb and something caffeinated.

~~~~~~~~

‘Just ten minutes, ten minutes and he could get his drink, he could rant to his friends on the group chat afterwards and wait out the story. ‘

And with as much bravo as any tired young adult, he entered the shop.

Danny almost left the cafe as he heard another unfamiliar voice bellow out.

“What do you mean you don’t have coffee, it’s a coffee shop!”

Blue eyes, black hair, surprisingly smaller than the first two and eye bags that could rival Danny some nights.

Danny was done.

Fuck the treaty this was war.

[bruciemilf]

Bruce’s kids detest Valentine’s day because no matter where they are he finds a way to get them their valentines gift (usually new weapons or a better suit because he’s emotionally constipated)

As for Bruce he’s too busy scheming to wonder why all his old flames, current flames, and best friends are fighting. (They want to be his Valentine)

WITH THIS OCCASION—

What Bruce gets for Valentine’s Day:

Dick: Promises not to prank him for a full week and/or reignes from the police force

Jason: A formal handshake followed by a moderate cuddling session, except it lasts way longer, because Jason falls asleep. Sleep has been damn near extinct without Bruce holding him, so, no one’s in any hurry to wake him.

Tim: Hacks LexCorp’s finance department. Surprise surprise, the owner of a mega conglomerate doesn’t pay his employees properly.

It’s just bad enough that Lex can be threatened. Bruce gets half of Lex’s workers livable wages and healthcare.

Stephawnie: A comically tiny collection of batarangs

Alfred: A week long supply of Sufganiyot; Martha’s recipe.

Damian: He and Talia handcraft Bruce a list of his enemies and tell him to take his pick! Bruce just nods and frames it somewhere. (He does pick Ra’s)

In addition to that, Talia buys his favorite perfume and hypothetically wears it over lingerie, but shhh—

Clark: Learns Bruce’s favorite planet/galaxial body and makes jewelry out of it. Law physics mean nothing to romance, and to a country boy in love.

Harvey: Very classic? Big ass bouquet of flowers. Like, Bruce disappears behind it, kind. More chocolate than he could eat. Also, lots of martial arts equipment.

Plus some nerdy Gray Ghost merchandise that, “I love you like a sin, but I will kill you if you wear this outside.”

[aziraphale-is-a-cat]

When Damian was a child, Thalia Al'Ghul made contact with a pair of scientists studying Lazarus water and instead of killing them or keeping her distance she manages to befriend them.

So as Damian grew up in the League, he got much needed socialization with the Fenton children under the guise of ensuring exposure to the pits wasn't impeding his development.

So years later when the Bats need information about either ghosts or the Infinite Realms, Damian lets up that he knows a guy.

But when they go visit Danny, Damian's brothers just can't figure out why he seems so nervous about it- until Danny opens the door and Damian just melts a little.

He's never gonna live this down.

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Some random superheroes debating whether or not Batman fucks: I mean there's no way Batman fucks, right? Man definitely doesn't fuck

Dick, who walked in on Bruce and Harvey together back when he was first adopted: -_-

Jason, who definitely heard one too many of Talia's stories about Bruce: -_-

Tim, who heard him with Selina after Bruce forgot to turn off his coms once: -_-

Damian, who recently had sex ed and knows exactly where he came from: -_-

Cass, who reads body language perfectly and while has never caught him in the act, has def seen him looking around: -_-

Steph, who accidentally saw some lewd messages when she stole his phone for a prank: -_-

Duke, who found out exactly what Bruce's penthouse is for in an unfortunate accident: -_-

Barbara, who has caught Bruce in inappropriate positions on security cams way too many times: -_-

[scintillyyy]

can you really talk about tim's tendency to idolize and place dick on a pedestal and his semi-entitlement to understanding dick without also talking about dick's tendency to project his own feelings and insecurities onto tim and also his semi-entitlement to his right to try and micromanage how tim should feel and react about things. i, personally, cannot.

[alexandthensome]

I feel like Danny has a really specific relationship with everyone in the BatFam that culminates in very different ways

Like Danny and Tim would have a lot in common based on the fact that 1.) their parents are kinda weird and 2.) they don’t tell anyone about anything until it comes up out of nowhere

Like one day while Danny was watching TV with Dick, Jason, and Tim, Tim mentions something about The Joker being hospitalized before getting sent back to Arkham Asylum.

Danny without missing a beat goes

“Oh please he’ll be fine, I almost got killed fighting my future self once and look at me, I’m great now.”

Everyone except Tim stops what they’re doing because they’re trying to comprehend the sentence they just heard

Dick replies, “Im sorry, you did what?”

And Tim who has also been traumatized enough times that he needs a punch card replies

“Oh, that’s nothing. This one time I had injuries that were so bad I had to get my spleen removed.”

Dick, fully losing his composure screams at Tim “I’m sorry, YOU DID WHAT!!!”

Danny replies “Dude, that’s so metal.”

Jason is busy doing mental gymnastics trying to figure out how none of them figured this out yet and he just goes

“When did you have the time to lose your spleen??”

Which prompts Tim (who is still unfazed at this point) to recant the entire situation that led to this and then he finishes his story like

“And now I have no spleen and no immune system. 🙂”

And poor Jason and Dick who are genuinely never on the same wavelength both yell

“YOU DONT HAVE AN IMMUNE SYSTEM?!?!?”

Meanwhile Danny is just sitting here watching this whole thing go down and just goes

“God I love this family, they’re just as crazy as mine.”

[bitimdrake]

the thing about Dick and Tim in relation to Bruce that I am constantly spinning around and around in my head is like

if they’re talking about Bruce, Dick will be the first one to be like ‘bruce is an asshole he’s being terrible fuck him you don’t need him’ while Tim will be like ‘no you gotta give him a chance he’s just struggling and it’s our job to be there for him’

but if something actually Happens, then Tim will be the one like ‘we have to sincerely consider the possibility that bruce may be a murderer while i hold him at arm’s length’ while Dick is already trying to die for Bruce without a second’s hesitation and won’t lose loyalty in a million years

[ghost-bxrd]

Let’s amp up the “Jason says ow and the batfam thinks he must be gravely injured” headcanon.

Jason calls Bruce or Dick for fun and says nothing but “goodbye” before hanging up (maybe it’s a dare by Roy who TOTALLY suspects the reaction Jay is gonna get).

Ten minutes late the entire Justice League is scouring Gotham, on the hunt for Jason.

[danny-chase]

it’s so important to me that Dick was Tim’s brother before Bruce was Tim’s dad, like Bruce saw a kid to mentor that didn’t have that dangerous “d” word attached because he already had one of his own and already loved one of his own, but Dick saw a little kid who looked just like his brother that had just died, that he couldn’t stop, and that needed training and guidance if he was going to survive and decided to open his heart again

[introspectivememories]

high school timber is all about repression!!!

it's about bernard desperately trying to prove to himself and his parents that he's straight!! because his parents already don't like him and he cannot be gay. not now not ever!!!! so he puts up this front of a ladies man and he picks a girl he cant ever get together with and maybe he kisses like 3/4 of the female population at grieves and gains a reputation but hey! at least he's not gay! but he's so caught up in making sure his eyes don't to stick too long on tyrone's face or michael-from-biology's eyes or kabir-from-study-hall's thick thighs that even his attraction to women is under a filter. and it's not that he doesn't like women, he does! very much so!! but it's that he's soo caught on not being perceived as gay that he cant show his attraction to women the way he'd like to. it's all under this filter of what he thinks Real Men who are attracted to women act like so it's this brash, loud, crass, thing and it's not him at all. it's "ooh tim, ms. winters is soooo hot!" or "hey kayla, why don't you and i get to know each other a little better, if you know what i mean?" or "god her tits are soo big. she's so fucking hot!" and all this other shit when he really means, "tim, why the fuck does your stepmom have such a pretty smile?" or "kayla, you said you liked yugioh? i'd love to hear more about it!" or "god fuck, that girl has such pretty hands. i think if i held them i'd combust." but none of that is how a Real Man likes women so he shuts that shit down before it even has a chance to come up. it's fine, he's fine. so what if no one ever holds him like he holds those girls? it's fine. he'll take the manwhore label and the fuckboy title and he'll give out as many kisses as those girls want and if sometimes when he's kissing a girl he wonders what it'd be like to sit on kabir's thighs or if tyrone's lips really are as soft as they look, that's just the devil speaking. and if sometimes when he walks back into the cafeteria at lunch, lipstick still smudged on the corner of his mouth, after making out with a girl and his eyes skirt over tim's lithe body and he wonders what it'd be like to draw out the same sounds he's heard girls make when he kisses them, or what it'd be like to brush his thumb over tim's hands, or what it'd be like to hold tim or press a kiss to his shoulder, or a million and one other things, well that'll just have to be another one his secrets.

and it's about tim who's in a relationship with stephanie and his dad knows he's robin and he doesn't have time to figure out why his mouth goes dry when the light hits bernard's hair just right. he's too busy trying to figure out a way back to his nightlife. and so what if bernard has pretty pink lips that look very plush? so what if he's looked at some of his teammates and thought they were handsome? he's not blind!!! he has a girlfriend! and he loves her! and so what if his hand brushes bear's during fourth-period bio? so what if the tingles last all day? it was just some static! and it doesn't matter that when bear laughs his eyes get squinty and they water over -- cause bear always laughs so hard he almost cries -- and it sounds like bells. and it doesn't even matter, that sometimes when bernard walks back into the lunchroom, 10 minutes before the bell rings, lipstick smeared across the corner of his mouth, lips tilted up in the most charming smirk he's ever seen, that his chest fills with jealousy. it doesn't matter that his hands clench into fists so hard that his nails leave crescents marks all day. it doesn't matter that he wants to be bear's flavor of the day, week, month, whatever. he wants to leave the lipstick marks!! he wants to know if bear really is as good as he hears the girls speak about!!! he wants to know "that thing bernard does with his tongue!" is! he wants to drape himself over bear the same way he sees those girls do! he wants to know what bear's hands feel like gripping his waist. he wants, wants, wants!!! but it doesn't matter. it doesn't. he's got a girlfriend, her name is stephanie, she's gorgeous and, most importantly he loves her. he's too busy for bernard anyway.

[lafoget]

the main difference between dick and tim is that dick believes in bruce as the man who took him in and passed on his moral beliefs and values to him, while tim believes in batman as a concept and idea

[call-me-oracle]

barbara gordon in dark nights death metal: the last stories of the dc universe (we fight for love)

bonus:

[hood-ex]

Obsessed with how Jean Paul referred to Dick as, "The heir to the throne and the slighted prince" before he dragged Dick over the ledge of a balcony and tried to drown him in the river below.

Detective Comics #677

[gerryrigged]

okay but following up on this gorgeous art and potential Dick-infiltrates-a-harem fic

what if it's like a trafficking situation and once he infiltrates he's constantly trying to draw all attention to himself to protect the other people there until the rescue operation can kick off. Just the flashiest, most gorgeously seductive outfits and behavior.

And he's successful at it, too - it's less nauseating to him when he can treat it as a performance, distance himself from it, weaponize the looks and charisma that have drawn him attention (both wanted and really, really unwanted) his entire life. When he can use the helpless attraction that people react to him with in order to draw the master's gaze away from those less equipped to handle it, less able to protect themselves.

he's especially trying to shield this younger boy, who is dangerously, magnetically beautiful, and who was very obviously - very unfortunately - The Favorite until Dick arrived. He even looks a bit similar to Dick, superficially - soft black hair, and pale blue eyes that sharpen so keenly whenever his gaze catches on Dick. So unlike the hazy, half-lidded look he's always giving the master.

Watching that man put his filthy hands all over the kid makes Dick feel sick. He re-doubles his efforts to never let them be alone, barely even wearing clothes anymore to catch and keep the master's eye on him, instead.

only for Tim to be like. So I know you're new here, and this protectiveness is...really sweet and kind and everything, but. You're stealing my shtick. I'm the self-sacrificial lamb protecting everyone else around here by drawing away the worst of the attention. I can take care of myself, you don't have to...put on that act, put yourself in the line of fire - not for me.

And Dick is like yes I do - at least until I can get you all out of here. god, you shouldn't have to do any of that either, I want to break his hand every time he touches you--

And Tim is like I knew it, I knew you had to be either a cop or a vigilante, okay what's the plan, I'm fully on board, here's all the security information and blackmail I've been gathering, we're burning this place to the ground, right?

Dick: --Absolutely we are 🥺💘

.......Okay but what if it's Ra's' harem