#regulus black humor

[patrophthia]

willow | regulus black

pairing: regulus black x hufflepuff!reader

genre: fluff fluff flufff, just people being happy and shit, so fluffy i feel like poop for writing it while im single (when is it my turn to be happy) not beta read

word count: 3.8K

originally posted on my wattpad

— from bee: this takes place in sycamore girl timeline!

"i'm not giving it to you, of course," she remarked, voice straining. "i'm only lending it to you."

"i know," he said all too quickly, making her normally extroverted demeanor (when it came to him, at least) falter. "i promise i won't steal it."

she laughed awkwardly, trying to ease any tension off of her shoulder. "you better not, i've only got one copy of it."

"then i'll buy you a million more." he promised, then smiled, adding, "if i happen to lose it, of course."

regulus didn't think to lift his head up when someone sat down besides him. the class was about to start, there was only a limited amount of seats so, really, he couldn't have cared less about whoever decided to sit to his right. he had more important things on his hand —like whether the characters in the book he was reading will end up with one another or continue to beat around the bush.

as he was about to reach the good part, the professor clapped his hands, starting the class. regulus shut his book, intending to put it into his bag when he looked to the side. there she sat, talking to her friend who was on the other side of her as she pulled out her quill and ink.

class began, neither of them starting conversation since it wasn't needed. every once in a while she would mutter something low under her breath, her eyes narrowing on the blackboard before she turned to him and cleared her throat, asking if the words on the board was what she thought it was and he would help before they went back to what they were doing.

"hey, is canada real?"

regulus turned to her with an incredulous look, brows knitted together trying to gauge whether she was joking or not. finally, he answered. "no."

"thanks," she replied with a smile, and turned back to what she had been doing.

the professor then began droning on about the lesson —one that regulus knew through and through, solely because, the book he was reading (a romance though he would never say it out loud) was a modern retelling of the event they were learning. he shut his notebook, pulling out the novel he was reading previously and continued where he left off.

it wasn't long before she finished as well, shutting her book and trying to tune into the lesson but only to feel as though she was being lull to sleep. to her left was regulus black, sitting handsomely as he always did with a hard cover novel (the dust jacket of it removed) in his elegantly pale hands.

the spine didn't hide the title of the novel though. false god, it read. she smiled knowingly at this. the book was about two sorcerers playing lovers when they despised one another, an enemies to lovers romance.

"heaven is when you touch me and hell is when i fight with you," i confessed, staring into her dark brown eyes. "but i can't help but feel as if we're being led by blind faith."

salazar, this novel is sickeningly sweet.

"i know that look."

regulus brows tightened slightly, tuning into her voice besides him and yet, not giving her his full attention.

"they confessed to her, didn't they?"

the slytherin looked over his book, peeking at her to find her smiling at him. clearing his throat, regulus asked, "you've read this?"

"yup," she said quietly, not wanting to be caught by the professor. "it's written by one of my favorite authors so i kind of had to."

regulus tilted his head slightly. "how'd you know what part i was at?"

"i had that same look on my face when i read it."

had she been watching him read? "oh." he let out, there was a pause before he spoke up again. "did they ever end up together?"

"if i told you that, i'd be spoiling you." she pulled out a piece of paper from her book and began drawing out lines before turning them into small boxes, pushing the parchment to the middle of the table, she looked up at him with a sheepish smile. "how about a game of tic tac toe instead?"

somewhere along the lines of tic tac toes and [name] ranting about the recent novels she'd read before lending it to him, regulus became quite fond of her. he had found himself —more often then not— missing her presence when he was with any of his other 'friends.'

it also didn't help that whenever she flirted with him —something he knew she did because, she liked seeing him get flustered after she said something mildly suggestive to him. he had always thought she was pretty ever since he'd first met her in first year (it was hard not to notice someone when you shared classes with them) but it had never been something that stuck as prominently in his mind as it did now.

the news of one of the black brother being engaged spread like wild fire at hogwarts, everyone —and he meant everyone— began bothering him non-stop. wanting to know if they could get an invite to the wedding (the answer to which he always said no to.)

today had been no different, every single person he'd encountered had asked for an invitation. he was tired of it and if anything he longed for the next class he had. the one he had with her. the one where she sat next to him and talked to him about anything but the lesson or the dreaded wedding.

she got to class five minutes later than him like she always did and smiled the second she spotted him, there was a skip in her step as she made her way over. "i just found the best novel ever."

regulus lifted an eyebrow, the corner of his lips curving upwards, giving her his full attention.

"right so the novel is called seven, it's written by the same author who wrote false god," she started, eyes drifting towards the door once a while to make sure that the professor wasn't there. "it's about two childhood friends who was separated when they were seven due to family issues from the guys' part. it's so beautiful, regulus. you'll love it."

regulus. they way it sounded so soft coming from her lips had him feeling things he'd never felt before. he would never tire hearing her say his name.

there was a content look on his face, listening and listening as she brought the fore mentioned novel from her bag and handed it to him. "i even annotated it for you. the pink are for the lines that i loved and the green is for the lines i think you'd love 'cause you're a slytherin and all."

he took it in his hand, eyeing it carefully. he flipped the cover over, seeing her hand writings scattered all around it —some of it being her gushing over the characters. he looked back to her, grey eyes going blue with affection.

"i'm not giving it to you, of course," she remarked, voice straining. "i'm only lending it to you."

"i know," he said all too quickly, making her normally extroverted demeanor (when it came to him, at least) falter. "i promise i won't steal it."

she laughed awkwardly, trying to ease any tension off of her shoulder. "you better not, i've only got one copy of it."

"then i'll buy you a million more." he promised, then smiled, adding, "if i happen to lose it, of course."

" 'course."

as he turned to his side, planning on placing the novel into his bag so he wouldn't misplace it. she called out. "hey reg."

reg. regulus noted. that was a new one. he liked it, he really did like it. he let out a hum of indifferent acknowledgment, not yet facing her as he tried not to show just how much the nickname had effected him.

"would you like to go out this weekend?" there was short second of silence, it wasn't long until she picked up once more. "like on a date?"

before he could even stop himself, he blurted out. "i have plans tomorrow."

"oh."

regulus couldn't help but feel like he was being stabbed in the chest by how deflated she sound. he didn't spare a second when he turned to face her, not wanting to drown in his own guilt. "but yes."

"yes?" she repeated unsurely.

"yes," he concurred. "i'd love to go out with you —on a date. what seems to be the problem is that i have plans to meet up with dear brother's and his fiancée, and i don't want you to spend your weekend waiting for me—"

"reg, i'm perfectly fine with waiting." she cut him off. "although, you nearly made me cry with your 'i have plans tomorrow' i thought you were rejecting me."

"i would never reject you." how could he? not when he had been waiting for something between them to happen for the longest time.

•••

sirius and his fiancée bid their goodbyes with knowing smile, leaving him be as [name] made her way over to him. the booth was pretty much empty with him being the only one sat there, cheeks tinted pink as he waited for her to be seated down.

she took the one opposing him, smiling at him prettily. "you look nice."

"i look nothing compared to you," he countered almost shyly. and then, clearing his throat, regulus asked her, "where'd you want to go?"

"i was going to ask you that," she replied, feeling small under his gaze. "should we just walk around until we figure out what we want to do?"

regulus smiled at that. and with a nod of his head; he stood up, standing awkwardly besides their table. she stood up as well and as they made their way out, she stopped, buying two bottles of butter-beer for them to enjoy whilst they made their way to the next location.

hogsmeade wasn't as pack as he had expected it to be. sure, they were hundreds of teenagers around his age walking around with thick scarves signifying their houses colors walking around but, —unlike every other time he'd been to hogsmeade during the weekends— he could still see the road before him rather than it being a field of hair.

he turned to the side, intending to look at her only to find her already watching him. "where do we go from here? left or right?"

regulus thought about it for a second. no matter where they went, he'd still be happy, he was with her and that would be good enough for him.

"your choice."

the date went as well as he could've imagined it to. regulus followed after everywhere she strayed, smiling and giggling brightly at whatever caught her attention. and by the end of the night, regulus had walked her back to her common room and (with all his inner gryffindor courage) kissed her good night.

he'd turned his back at the speed of light right after, hiding just how truly giddy and flustered he'd felt. fuck. regulus black might be in love.

•••

march rolled around, along with it came both remus lupin and james potter's birthday. both of which, the marauders had threw parties for and both of which, regulus had been invited to.

lupin's party was fun; regulus had enjoyed it to bits, it was a small party with those only in the marauder's close circle invited to. potter's party was the exact opposite, loud music and booze could be seen every he turned.

regulus had been waiting for his girlfriend when he spotted sirius' fiancée and her friends come in. he'd join in on their teasing about sirius' (not) crush on his fiancée and quickly caught onto how his dear brother's attitude change when he found out that she was a light weight.

"don't worry darling, i know how to have fun without getting drunk." whipped.

it was clear that sirius was staying sober for his fiancée (that he definitely didn't have romantic feelings for) if it wasn't clear by how he had kept his eyes on her the entire night, then it was extremely clear when james —the reason he'd said he'd stay sober for, asked for his help and all he did was tell him to sod off and went to her aid.

the man was in love and he didn't even know it.

when [name], regulus' favorite person, arrived, he'd had to tear his eyes away from her just so he could converse with other people at the party. she looked so beautiful and he was so, so, so lucky to have her be his girlfriend.

"what are you looking at?"

"you," he answered slyly. did someone spike the punch? why is his words flowing out so easily? what is this. "you're the prettiest girl, i've ever seen."

there was a look on her face, somewhere between shying off and laughing at his words. he'd always said nice things to her, things that made her weak in the knees and completely drunk off of him.

but something, something about him being slightly intoxicated and gushing about how gorgeous he thought she was, made her feel dizzy (all in the good way, of course).

"my love," regulus called out after a moment, grabbing her attention. "would you come to my brother's wedding?"

"as your date?"

"of course, as my date. as if i'll ever let you out of my sight," he replied, words slurring the tiniest bit.

she cracked out a winsome smile, nodding. "of course, i will."

•••

the wedding day came soon enough and sirius made it clear, very clear, so clear that if anyone dared to go against his wishes he would personally hunt them down himself. that everyone he cared for —including regulus himself— would have to get ready at the potter's house because, it is where he'd be and he would need the emotional support to go through this.

the women took over a side of the house, getting all dolled up with the help of one another while the men made snacks and gave sirius pep talks. regulus was sat next to lupin, both chewing on the snacks that potter had prepared and listened to sirius bugger longbottom with as many questions as he could.

longbottom always answered, being the only married man in the friend group made him the most suitable source for answers to sirius' inquiries.

"but isn't scary?" sirius questioned, brows knitting together as james fixed up his bow tie. "sharing everything with one another."

"not really," longbottom answered carefully. "it's scary at first, yes, but after a while it's a very comforting thing. knowing that you can share your inner thoughts with your lover and not be judged."

"but she's not my lover." sirius frowned. "we're just friends."

"then it makes no difference," longbottom said with a small smile. "i was friends with alice before we were a couple —not that i'm trying to force anything between you two of course. what i'm trying to say is, if james is a friend to you and you could share anything with him then you can definitely share everything with her."

"you're not getting cold feet are you?" regulus asked, his tone slightly teasing.

sirius turned to him, his face unreadable. "of course, not. i could never do that to her, not when she's been nothing but lovely about all this."

"not when you think she's so pretty," lupin chirped in lazily.

"that's because, she is."

"sure, she is," remus murmured, making sirius turned to him sharply. remus clicked his tongue, the corner of his lips edging upward. "i never said she wasn't."

"you didn't, but your tone was patronizing." sirius smacked potter's hands away, making him scowl as he backed away. "and quite frankly, i don't appreciate my wife being spoken about in that tone of voice."

"my wife." potter repeated loudly. "are you sure you're not in love with her?"

"what makes you think otherwise?"

"i dunno," potter said stupidly, "maybe because of the way you talk about her."

"or the way you look at her," lupin added. "we could go on for days, mate."

"do you lots hate me or something?" sirius grumbled. "you're always teaming up against me, is it funny to you?"

"it is." came a more feminine voice. the men turn, all finding their dates (except sirius) standing by the door way. "it's the most comical thing ever to hear you deny your love for your fiancée."

"i hate you guys," sirius grumbled. lily and sirius continued on with their banter, but regulus was no longer listening, finding himself too awestruck at the sight of his girlfriend.

she stood besides mckinnon, donning the prettiest he'd ever seen. she smiled upon feeling his gaze on her, an action that made regulus want to do nothing but kiss her until she was breathless. instead, he stood up from his spot and made his way over to her.

"you look handsome," she commented once they stood toe to toe. of course, he did (not that he was trying to be conceited). he made sure he looked as best as he could if he would be having someone as beautiful as her in his arms.

"thank you," regulus said softly, eyes kept on her as he spoke. no words will be able to explain just how divine she looked. and so, regulus chalked it up to a simple compliment. "you look lovely."

"i try to, for you."

bullshit. even if she wasn't trying —and he knew this for certain from all the previous time he'd spent with her; bundled up in her dorm with bags under their eyes as they hovered over her desk and conversed about their projects, heads on the pillow once they wrapped up, looking as though they were on their dying breath— she'd still look lovely.

•••

the start of regulus' seventh years went as well as he hoped. sure, he was drowning in assignments during the first week of classes but he had a girlfriend. and that makes up about seventy percent of it.

he'd grown accustomed to having meals with her by his side so it was no surprise when he was the first thing she found when she made her way into the great hall with a letter in hand.

"guess what," she started up excitedly, taking the seat opposing his. regulus supplied her with a what? encouraging her on. "i got an owl last night."

"who's it from?"

"just your sister in law," she said as casually as she could but the enthusiasm was not lost in her voice. "would you like to know why?"

"yes." he humored her, filling her goblet up with water. "i would like to know why, please."

"well." she placed the opened up the letter and placed it down. "sirius confessed in an overly dramatic way about whether she loved you more than she loved him, long story short they ended kissing. moral of the story, our favorite couple is no longer getting a divorce."

"i could write a romance book about that."

"please don't," regulus murmured, reading the letter for himself. sure enough, there —written in ink— was the details of the said confession and how they would not be going through with their divorce as they try to navigate their new relationship. "oh no."

"oh no?" she repeated, tone drastically different from his.

"oh no," he said once more, as if agreeing to something. "sirius talked about adopting me, if they stayed married that might just happen."

"that's stupid, regulus. she would never agree to that."

"you underestimate just how persuasive sirius can be, my love." he took a sip from his mug, his tea now cold. "he managed to convince her into marrying someone as horrid as him, adoption won't be as hard."

"you say that like he's the worst man to ever exist." he gave her look. one that was practically asking her if she was testing him. "besides, she married him for the money. she won't get anything out of adopting you."

"yes, she would."

"and what would that be?" she asked, mildly uninterested.

"me."

"and that's a good thing?"

regulus mouth dropped into a small O. the black had always had a flair for the dramatics and he was no exception. "yes," he said with full offense. "how could you ever think otherwise. i'm your boyfriend."

"i just—" she shrugged. "—you're not all that."

regulus was gasping now, eyes full with hurt. "i don't think i want to be with you anymore."

"is that so?"

"no." he denied with annoyance.

the grandfather clock rang, signaling the start off class and the pair stood up. regulus standing besides her as he waited for her to pack up her stuff.

the couple shared their first class, so it was obvious for them to walk with one another. once arriving, regulus headed towards the middle table; not too far away and not too close to the professor. he sat first, tapping the empty seat that was by his side for her to take.

she took it, smiling when her friends took to the table in front of them and began conversations with one another. class soon began, the professor droning on about the lessons when regulus found himself in a position he'd never been in before.

her hand was dropped to the side and he'd never wanted to hold something as much as he did now. he was practically begging for her to take his hand but he was too prideful to admit it.

"it's rude to stare," she said quietly, and regulus was distinctly reminded of their first encounter. same classroom, same seats. how history repeats itself never fails to amaze him. "even if you're staring at their hand."

he teared his eyes away, playing oblivious. "i don't know what you're talking about."

"right," she murmured as if she believed him. "did you want to hold my hand?"

"yes."

she took his hand at his answer, intertwining their fingers and placing it comfortably on her thigh before she turned back to the lesson.

time will age as will the both of them, and despite how greedy and selfish it may sound. regulus hoped it would never remove the memory of her smile when he'd first saw her.

life was a willow and it bent right through her wind.

[ecstarry]

spring break

James is willing to do anything to get Regulus' attention, including, participating on a wet t-shirt contest where Regulus will be the judge.

"The curly-haired man scanned him with his gaze, and the moment he reached his exposed abdomen, he blushed. James made him blush. He had found exactly who he wanted to spend his week with.”

Fic: Spring Break

for @malchai and beta-read by @bellaxisworld as part of the @croptopjames

[iamnmbr3]

Lucius: I have the closest relationship with the Dark Lord because I use my wealth and influence to support his efforts.

Regulus: I have press clippings about him decorating my room so I can think of him every day.

Bellatrix: I have his Mark branded on my arm and have sworn my life to his cause.

Walburga: I've supported my favorite child's ambition to join his Death Eaters.

Sirius: Ugh. This dinner couldn’t get worse.

Bellatrix: What about you, Uncle?

Alphard: I don’t kiss and tell.

Sirius: O_O I was wrong. It got worse.

[thisisatotallysiriusblog24]

James would be the type of person that when he wakes up from anaesthesia and Lily or Reg either of which he's been married to for like 5 years kisses him and hes like "OMG OMG THAT HOT PERSON JUST KISSED ME" and then Lily Or Reg will be like "I'm your wife/husband" and james would be like "OH MY GOD WHATTT?'

[jamespotterbbg]

[adharastarlight]

Sirius: *eavesdropping on Reg's conversation* oh could you stop going on about your sex life with my bloody best mate, its sickening

Reg: *turns to face him, deadpan* believe me, for every time you have forgotten a silencing charm, you deserve it.

Pandora, Barty and Evan: *:0*

[rosekiller-addict]

why didn't anyone tell me how hard it is to write in 3rd person

[calamitlily]

Thinking about Jegulily (or Regulily, either works), moving up to the midlands with Lily post-Hogwarts, and Regulus Black developing a fucking brummy accent.

[pademelonluck]

"i'm not wearing any makeup...?"

james: is that lipstick?

regulus: no?

james: is that face paint?

regulus: no?

james: is that eye shadow?

regulus: no.

james: then what make-up are you wearing?!

regulus: i'm not wearing any makeup.

[my-castles-crumbling]

*clears throat*

I'd like to thank my mother, for traumatizing me enough to give me a dark sense of humor and unhealthy and obsessive coping skills.

[dorian-winter]

Hey, I posted the first chapter of a fic inspired by @sebbianas post. This one. ✨

I had a lot of fun writing it. I hope that the people that liked the original prompt might enjoy this, too :)

The story is written from several POV, and the first chapter features Sirius' as well as Regulus' POV. The second chapter will then have Remus' and James' POV for a change.

Here is the summary:

Remus and James work at a fast food chain as delivery guys. The black brothers become their loyal customers, as it seems they have really taken a liking to the taste of the pizza they offer.

What James and Remus don't know, however, is that after 20 days of Pizza for lunch straight, Sirius and Regulus hate Pizza. In fact, they can't stand Pizza's guts. They've eaten so much of it, the memory of it will last them a lifetime. Still, they don't stop ordering.

They hope that at least one of them will muster up the bravery soon to ask one of the cute delivery boys out, so they can finally stop having Pizza for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner.

Thanks again for the permission to write this based on your AU! ✨

[patrophthia]

how you get the girl | regulus black

pairing: CFO!regulus black x best friend!reader

genre: fluff, song fic, love confession under the rain, more fluffffff, muggle CFO!au where the marauders all work together, regulus being babied (as he should) golden retriever reg, not beta read

wc: 1.7k?

this is request ! thank u for sending it in, i know this is a month late but here it is anyways!!

Working for the Black brothers had its perks, you’re well paid, you get to travel quite often for work, you’ve met tons of celebrities due to your line of work, and most importantly, you get to put them in their place —though you call this the best friend privilege. 

Talk about a work life balance. 

Black was at its highest peak when Regulus’ father passed away, leaving his two sons to step in and do the job as the CEO and CFO of their family’s luxury brand. 

Their positions were set in stone, Sirius will be leading the company as a CEO and Regulus will be by his side as the CFO. And Sirius, with the amount of power he has, was quick to think of you when it came to choosing an assistant for his brother. 

Because —and this was his logic— if you’ve tolerated being friends with him for as long as you’ve had, you’d be able to handle his princess attitude when it came to work. 

And seeing as you were quite literally jobless at the time, the prospect of working for/with (the lines between those two were thin) your best friend did not seem bad at all. 

“Where are you going?” 

You turn back to the owner of the voice, Regulus lingering by his office’s door. “To grab a snack.” 

“It’s dinner time,” he says, as if he’s only remembering it now. 

“Yeah smart ass,” you fix him a look. “That’s why I’m going to grab a snack.” 

Regulus doesn’t look all too pleased, “wait here.”

You contemplate doing as you’re told or just heading towards one of the vending machines so you could get back to work. 

Regulus comes back out, his coat, and yours, in hand as he picks up your purse. He makes his way towards you, helping you into your coat despite your confused stare before slipping his own on. “We’re going to dinner.” 

“Are you paying?” You were a simple person. A free meal is a free meal. So when Regulus nods, you smile at him. “Let’s go.” 

The two of you begin walking towards the elevator, a few employees bidding goodbyes and good nights here and there. “Have you thought about it?”

“About?” Regulus murmurs, unsure of what you’re trying to say. 

“That girl?” You say in a questioning tone, a bit muddled by his cluelessness. “The one Sirius said you liked?” 

Sirius and his constantly running mouth. Why did Regulus ever tell his brother that he had his eyes set on someone he’d never understand. He made a stupid decision and now he has to face its consequences.  

“Oh.” He says as if he’s only remembering it now, as if that ‘girl’ wasn’t standing besides him as he attempts to take her out to dinner. “What about her?” 

You turn to look at him and Regulus can’t help but turn to meet your eyes in return. “Have you thought about how you’d get the girl?” 

“Not really.” The elevator dings, the door opens and you were quickly greeted by James who was not only a friend of Sirius but a model who was married to one of Black’s most well known designers. “Should I have?” 

“Should you have what?” James asks. 

You turn to James. “Think about how he’d get the girl.” 

“Oh really?” He says in a knowing tone. “Well isn’t this exciting?” 

“Don’t start Potter,” Regulus clearly annoyed, the amused smiles on the other two occupying the elevator not missed by him. “Why are you still here? Shouldn’t you be home with Harry?” 

“Don’t try to change the topic,” James says with a slight frown. “You know I could always give your advice, right?” 

Begrudgingly, Regulus nods. “Yes.” 

You grin, finding the situation more than entertaining. Ever since Regulus stepped up as the CFO in a company where most of his brother’s friends worked at, he was more often than not, babied. And you can’t help but find it a bit adorable. 

“Good,” James says. The elevator door dings again, signalling that they’ve finally made it to their destination. “Now give the lady her purse back.” 

It was only then you’d realised that you never took your stuff off of Regulus’ hands, him having held onto it without a single complaint. 

“Are you going to dinner?” A nod from the both of you had James stepping out of the elevator. “Have fun on your date!” 

There’s no point in correcting him, it has happened a hundred times by now. Whenever you and Regulus had plans, the Marauders — a team consisting of the CEO, two models (James and Remus), and one designer, never failed to call it a date. 

You meet Reg’s eyes with a small smile. “Shall we get started on our date?” 

Regulus fiddles with your bag still in his hand. A bag he’d asked Lily to design specifically for you. He returns your smile. “Lead the way.” 

Half a year of —what Sirius had called mindless pining later, Regulus finally caved in and went to his brother’s only married friend for advice. 

Once he heard James’ ‘advice’ he wishes more than anything to forget everything he’d said, and to not even attempt it had it not been Lily and Dorcas saying that it worked on them. 

Marlene had used the same methods as James to get the girl. So if it had worked twice then surely it would work again, right? 

Step one should in theory be easy. Rain was romantic, or at least it ideally is (as seen in chick flick), so ultimately, a confession under the pouring rain should do the trick. 

“You’re going to stand there and you’re going to tell her how you feel,” James says sternly. “You’re going to tell her what you want. That’s how you get the girl.” 

For some reason he doesn’t really believe him. But Sirius is patting him encouragingly on the back so he lets the fantasy of being swept away during a rainstorm mid confession fade away.  

He was going to make this work. 

The weather forecast was right. Today would be a rainy night, not too harsh but not a sprinkling either, it was perfect for him to try to win you over. Or at least try to. 

You were quick to open your door, not wasting a single second after him having rang your bell. “Regulus?” You ask, and when he doesn’t make the move to come in during the pouring rain, you follow up. “What are you doing? Get in.” 

The rain is now drenching his very expensive shoes. The droplets are cold, the wind is harsh, he was going pale, practically shivering but he was not going to give up so soon. “I need to talk to you,” he says, not moving an inch. 

“Yeah we can do that in here,” you say, clearly concerned for your friend. “Are you insane?” 

Regulus shakes his head, and you decide you’ve had enough, stepping into your home to grab an umbrella before running towards him, you quickly pull him into your house —not without reprimanding him. 

“What were you thinking?” You scold. “What’s so important you have to talk to me right now? In the pouring rain too.” 

Regulus finds that he likes it better when you’re like this. When you’ve yelling at him as you wrap a towel around him. This was why he loved you, you cared for him in every way that is nowhere near artificial. And he’s known that for a while now. So it was about time he did something about it. 

“I love you.” 

You pause in your step. Regulus assumes that you were on your way to find him something to change into based on your direction. You resume your way into your bedroom where a set of spare pyjamas were reserved for Regulus. Muttering about how much of an idiot he was on the way. 

You return soon after, pyjamas in hand. “Go shower, change. Then we’ll talk.” 

Again, Regulus finds himself being babied, this time though, instead of being babied by his brother and his friends, he was being babied by you. And he doesn’t think he minds it all too much. 

You sit him down at your vanity when he was done, a hand reaching for your hair dryer. “You shouldn’t say stuff like that,” you tell him after a while, your hand roaming around his curls as you attempt to dry it. “It’s not funny.”

Bewilderedly, Regulus says. “I wasn’t trying to be funny.” 

“Really?” You laugh dryly. You then tsked, going over your words. “Then what about that girl? From a few months back?” 

“That was you,” he says after a beat. “It’s always been you.” 

You pull your hands away from him, setting the hairdryer down as you look at him, settling yourself on your vanity. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” 

He doesn’t fully understand what was going on but based on your words, and what he considers context clues, you might just reciprocate his feelings. “Because, I didn’t know how to.” 

You purse your lips. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” 

“And it won’t,” Regulus says, cautiously reaching for your hand. You let him take it. “I want you for better or for worse and if you’re scared what might happen between us ruining our friendship then we can take it slow, I’d wait forever and ever for this.” 

Black family and their flair for dramatics, huh?

“Okay, let’s do this.” You take a deep breath. “Only if you promise me one thing though.” 

Regulus brings your hand up to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss on it. “Anything.” 

“Don’t do that again,” you tell him. “I’m not going to work for you if you have a massive cold, let alone kiss you.” 

“I promise,” Regulus says, smiling. “Now can I kiss you?” 

You nod, pushing yourself off of the vanity and closer to him, Regulus places a careful hand on your waist and pulls you in, just a second before your lips touch you hear a sniffle, and then, inevitably, Regulus shifts to his side, sneezing loudly. 

When he looks back at you, his nose is red, his lips are prominent pout as he processes the fact that you won’t be kissing anytime soon. 

You pat his cheeks (or cheekbones really). “Next time,” you tell him. “If you’ve waited half a year to tell me you love me then you can wait a week to kiss me.”

—from bee: i wrote this at 2am im tired help

[lionmythflower]

i need someone to blame so imma blame @no-names-work for getting me to read Destiny Has a Wicked Sense of Humor bc it's 1:30am and I just finished reading it and it's now one of my favorite fics

[murderoushagthesequel]

if there was an apocalypse zombie who in the marauders would survive/die, and how would they survive/die?

this took me forever to get to lol sorry

so let's see

survivors:

sirius (out of sheer spite)

peter (too hot for the zombies to kill)

remus (actual good strategy)

lily (same as remus, she's too good. nothing can kill her)

regulus (kind of went haywire after james died) (i actually hate myself i came up with such a sad fucking story for this lmk if you wanna hear it 😭)

marlene (she's a bad bitch, you can't kill her)

unalivers (i hate this i just wanted it to rhyme)

james (opened the door for the wrong person) (more on that in the scenario mentioned above)

mary (first to die, nobody saw it coming)

dorcas (fought to the death, literally)

pandora (sacrificed herself to save reggie)

barty (mans has not one survival skill)

evan (forgot his zombie survival kit at home)

RIGHT SO THIS GOT FUNNY AT TOMES AND REALLY DARK AT OTHERS OOPS????? DIDNT MEAN TO MAKE REGULUS LOSE MOST OF THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN HIS LIFE I HATE MYSWLF.

but yeah 😭 if anybody wants to see the full, sad story... lmk????

[starlovr]

At a Slughorn Party:

Regulus: *shaking hands* Regulus Black,

Random student: I know, heard great things about you.

Regulus: Really that’s weird. Because I’m a dick

[lilyocviv]

Blacks family then and now