#spoiler!stephanie

[tumblingxelian]

Its kind of cosmically fitting but fucked up that another line of comparison between Steph & Jason is a parent selling them to criminals. 

Sheila sold Jason to the Joker in order to get out of owing him a debt and it caused his death. 

Arthur orchestrated Steph’s kidnapping by a group of men just out of prison to be used as both collateral to manipulate them, and a tool to manipulate Bruce with no interest in if she lived or died. 

Like they aren’t exactly the same thing, obviously. But there’s a certain rhyming scheme to it if that makes sense. These parents who don’t just hurt their children but also use them as little more than bargaining chips. 

[msfcatlover]

This is me, once again reminding everyone I think Stephanie Brown should be the next Batman because repeating story cycles go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[ashoss]

patrol is fun :DD

[redactedrem]

Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.

Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.

He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.

He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.

Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"

"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.

[dianna-knst]

ROBIN3／ROBIN4

[cosmicpoutine]

oracle, ban this guy

(some shitpost while i work on that bernard comic)

[ditzybat]

tim: sweet dog you got there. gordon: yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog. tim: still training huh? gordon: red robin.. what do you mean? tim: ... tim: nevermind...

[who-always-pays-their-taxes]

im obsessed with the idea that gothamites 100% know who all the batkids are, like “ for sure Dick Grayson is nightwing #thebuttsmatch” and they figured out all their identities and who it correlates to, “ofc the newest robin with all the swords is Damian Wayne!!” but they refuse to even consider Bruce and The Batman being the same guy. it just doesn’t make sense?? Brucie Wayne, dressing up as a bat and calling himself vengeance???? as if???? also he’s from bristol???? can’t possibly be Brucie. Like they genuinely believe that Bruce is the father to a whole gaggle of themed vigilantes and just doesn’t know it. Anytime his kids disappear during a gala, he gets a bunch of pitiful looks and he can’t leave bc everyone’s looking at him now??

This actually works into a lot of ppls theories that Brucie is The Batman’s sugar daddy, bc clearly they’re together and co parenting the batkids??

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

The only time when all the batkids will work together in perfect harmony is to prank Bruce.

And for the best prank all they needed was a few label makers.

Labels are put on everything.

On every mug, on every plate, on every bandaid package.

The chocolate bars are labeled "BatSnack".

The fruits become "Batana", "Batricot" and "Batermelon".

Every button on the microwave, every key on the keyboard, it all gets a label.

"Batstop button", "Batstart button", "Bat-A-key", Bat-Enter-key".

Bruce's desk isn't simply the "Batdesk". It is the "Batwood construction surface".

There is a label beneath the desk too.

Originally named "underside of Batwood construction surface".

It takes days, weeks, months to remove all the labels.

Until one day, when Bruce makes a few new installations in the cave.

Surely some higher being is laughing at him right now, Bruce thinks, as he pulls of the last one.

"Batceiling"

[mysterycitrus]

"[blank] is the best robin" please be serious

[gildedlead]

Duke: …So, is Two-Face like, B’s ex or something?

Steph: I think it’s more of a situationship? They still seem to have some feelings going on there.

Jason: Yeah right, and get accused of cheating on Selina? I think not. They’ve been dating for as long as I can remember.

Dick: That’s…strange, cause I’m pretty sure he and Clark are married. Big Blue gave him a ring and everything.

Damian: A Kryptonite ring. One that Father keeps in a lead lined safe with the rest of the alien’s bane. Besides, everyone knows Mother’s laid her claim to him already. Only a fool would interfere with such a union.

Cass: Talia and Bruce are about as divorced as two people can be.

Tim: No, you guys are all missing the point. If we want Bruce to have a partner, we need to pick the most profitable option for us. [ pulling up a PowerPoint ] Hear. Me. Out.

—-Later, At the Watchtower-—

Oliver: Bats, why are your kids inviting me over for dinner?

[oldmannapping]

Crack HC, because is there any other kind?

Bruce realises embarrassingly late that his Batkids can’t swim.

Gotham’s beach water is pure chemicals and sewage, and the city’s public school funding doesn’t exactly prioritise teaching kids to swim. Steph, Duke and Jason had never seen a swimming pool before meeting Bruce.

Tim’s parents meant to sign him up for swim lessons after he fell into their indoor fountain when he was three and nearly drowned - it would have been so embarrassing if it happened when they had guests! - but forgot.

So Bruce is like. Oh no my baby-soldiers must learn to swim.

Damian insists that since the League trained him to withstand waterboarding, he’s fine. Bruce pulls a muscle in his cheek from clenching his jaw so hard.

Dick insists that he can swim and manages one impressive mermaid-style undulation before becoming disoriented and slamming into the wall.

Duke covers himself in floaties and clings to a pool noodle for dear life, eschewing dignity because “this isn’t how I die”.

Conversely, Tim sinks like a stone, curls up on the bottom of the pool, and waits for death.

Cass, with the lowest body fat percentage, also sinks but manages to squeeze into one of the drains. She re-emerges six hours later in an estuary in New Jersey.

Steph refuses to let go of the wall by the deep end, scuttling away like a crab when Bruce tries to poke her into the water with a skimmer net.

Jason scoffs at them all and manages a perfect swan dive before flailing and crashing into Steph, causing both of them to panic and use each other as ladders to get out.

Alfred asks Barbara for the security camera footage and makes everyone watch it twice a year to keep their egos in check.

[vodrae]

Jason: Dick is so much written by a woman.

Stephanie: Totally.

Dick, the handsome man in touch with his emotions, not afraid to cry, being harrassed because of his butt and overall body, lately known for parenting children this being one of his big trait of personality, SA victim and loves to talk but has too much wrath bottled up: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN ???

[arttuff]

i want steph and jason to team up so bad

[ashoss]

the rest of the flock :)

part 2 to this

[arrowheadedbitch]

Steph: Who was the best kid? Like, when you got them, who was best at, uh, being a..good kid?

Bruce, immediately: Jason.

Tim, traumatized: Let's not do this right now.