#batgirl!stephanie brown

[dianna-knst]

ROBIN3／ROBIN4

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce is constantly asking the kids what they like to eat so he can freeze dry their favorites into oblivion as apocalypse rations

[mysterycitrus]

"[blank] is the best robin" please be serious

[gildedlead]

Duke: …So, is Two-Face like, B’s ex or something?

Steph: I think it’s more of a situationship? They still seem to have some feelings going on there.

Jason: Yeah right, and get accused of cheating on Selina? I think not. They’ve been dating for as long as I can remember.

Dick: That’s…strange, cause I’m pretty sure he and Clark are married. Big Blue gave him a ring and everything.

Damian: A Kryptonite ring. One that Father keeps in a lead lined safe with the rest of the alien’s bane. Besides, everyone knows Mother’s laid her claim to him already. Only a fool would interfere with such a union.

Cass: Talia and Bruce are about as divorced as two people can be.

Tim: No, you guys are all missing the point. If we want Bruce to have a partner, we need to pick the most profitable option for us. [ pulling up a PowerPoint ] Hear. Me. Out.

—-Later, At the Watchtower-—

Oliver: Bats, why are your kids inviting me over for dinner?

[oldmannapping]

Crack HC, because is there any other kind?

Bruce realises embarrassingly late that his Batkids can’t swim.

Gotham’s beach water is pure chemicals and sewage, and the city’s public school funding doesn’t exactly prioritise teaching kids to swim. Steph, Duke and Jason had never seen a swimming pool before meeting Bruce.

Tim’s parents meant to sign him up for swim lessons after he fell into their indoor fountain when he was three and nearly drowned - it would have been so embarrassing if it happened when they had guests! - but forgot.

So Bruce is like. Oh no my baby-soldiers must learn to swim.

Damian insists that since the League trained him to withstand waterboarding, he’s fine. Bruce pulls a muscle in his cheek from clenching his jaw so hard.

Dick insists that he can swim and manages one impressive mermaid-style undulation before becoming disoriented and slamming into the wall.

Duke covers himself in floaties and clings to a pool noodle for dear life, eschewing dignity because “this isn’t how I die”.

Conversely, Tim sinks like a stone, curls up on the bottom of the pool, and waits for death.

Cass, with the lowest body fat percentage, also sinks but manages to squeeze into one of the drains. She re-emerges six hours later in an estuary in New Jersey.

Steph refuses to let go of the wall by the deep end, scuttling away like a crab when Bruce tries to poke her into the water with a skimmer net.

Jason scoffs at them all and manages a perfect swan dive before flailing and crashing into Steph, causing both of them to panic and use each other as ladders to get out.

Alfred asks Barbara for the security camera footage and makes everyone watch it twice a year to keep their egos in check.

[vodrae]

Jason: Dick is so much written by a woman.

Stephanie: Totally.

Dick, the handsome man in touch with his emotions, not afraid to cry, being harrassed because of his butt and overall body, lately known for parenting children this being one of his big trait of personality, SA victim and loves to talk but has too much wrath bottled up: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN ???

[ashoss]

the rest of the flock :)

part 2 to this

[rariatoo]

Batgirl art

[shyjusticewarrior]

A reminder:

Robins: Dick, Jason, Tim, Steph, Damian

Batboys: Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Duke

Batkids: Dick, Barbara, Jason, Tim, Cass, Steph, Damian, Duke

Batsiblings: Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Cass, Duke

[this-canadian-girl]

Jason: this is giving Arkham vibes

Dick: hm?

Jason, gesturing out the sliding back door of the Brownstone: he’s been wondering around the yard, talking to himself for three hours

Dick, peaking his head out the door: it’s an enclosed yard, he should be okay till he bonks out

Steph, who just arrived: what are we looking at?

Jason: a man walking the tight rope of sanity

Damian, mostly minding his business, eating coco puffs at the table: sanity?! I watched him have a full conversation with the oak tree regarding the ethics of the prison-industrial complex. We’re far past debating his sanity

Steph: oh god, it’s worse than we thought

Bruce, from the second floor balcony: TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE get the fuck to bed or god so help me, I will inject you with a sedative

Tim, turning from the oak tree to squint up at Bruce: Bruce, I don’t see how the electric chair is all bad

Damian, sighing dramatically: If I must, I will do the honours of stabbing the zombie with a sedative

[clambuoyance]

[DC] BATGIRL WORLD DOMINATION RAHHH‼️‼️‼️

[snow-bees]

Figuring out how to draw the batfam in my style 🦇🦇🦇

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: *sees Gotham in chaos on his day off*

Bruce: Not my circus, not my monkeys. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Not my—

Bruce: *realizes it's his kids causing chaos*

Bruce: My circus my monkeys! My circus my monkeys!

[oifaaa]

Lets just ignore that I was meant to post this a week ago okay

[lustwithoutlore]

Stephanie, clearly upset: I just spent $30 at the grocery store and all I got was eggs, mayonnaise, fruit, and pop.

Tim: Oh so prices have gone down, that’s good.

Stephanie: …. I really hate you sometimes, Tim. Really hate you.

Tim: Isn’t $30 for all that cheap?

Stephanie, calling Jason: I need an immediate extraction I’m about to kill Tim.

Jason: … And you need the extraction, why?

[oldmannapping]

HC: The Batfam’s secret identities keep nearly being exposed through dumb mistakes, and citizens all over Gotham are constantly signing NDAs printed on ridiculously formal Bat insignia letterhead.

Tim: Used his Coffee Club rewards card for a free espresso as Red Robin, forgetting it was linked to his civilian identity because it was 3am and he was running on 42 hours without sleep.

Steph: Used her personal phone to tap-and-pay at Batburger with Cass. Bruce got pissy but she’s like, “Who accepts cash in a post-pandemic world, Mr Out Of Touch?” Used the experience to bargain a work phone out of Bruce.

Dick: Poses the exact same way in selfies with fans as both Nightwing and Dick Grayson. “What? Is it a crime to know my angles? I’m not apologising for having a good side!”

Damian: Constantly threatening people in League dialect as Robin and at school. It’s like a super niche language. People notice.

Jason: Grabbed one of his Red Hood jackets because it was cold and accidentally pulled out two grenades and a gun when asked for ID at the bar.

Duke: Straight up used his Signal powers to find something at the back of his locker at school. Like just lit up the hallway. “I thought I was alone!”

Cass: Took out cash from the ATM as a civilian for Batburgers with Steph, and paid as Black Bat. Someone at the bank traced the serial number of the bill and ATM surveillance footage. Batman declared that this wasn’t Cass’s fault and gave her another $50.

Alfred: Outsourced some of the superhero suit laundering to a professional company because he’s ONLY ONE MAN for god’s sake, and sometimes he needs an afternoon off.

Bruce: Literally just keeps adopting kids who look exactly like all the new crimefighters who help Batman. Has a massive public profile and just. Keeps syncing up families with Batman? People are like uhhh is he expecting us not to notice, or?

And all of them have accidentally posted to the wrong social media account at some point.