#superman incorrect quotes

[vodrae]

Villain swaps Bruce and Clark minds.

Bruce: I get the "man of steel" now. *Punches villain*

Clark: Why...Why...WHY ARE YOU SO MUCH IN PAIN ?!

Bruce: What do you mean ? I took a 12 hours break yesterday, I'm as fresh as a newborn.

[jasontoddispoly]

Clark: y’all’d’ve’f’ld’ve but y’aint me.

Bruce: (rethinking his no killing rule)

[ktkat99]

Interviewer- Mr. Wayne, do you care to comment on the rumors that you're dating Daily Planet journalist Clark Kent?

Bruce- What? I'm not dating him, that's ridiculous.

Interviewer- You were seen by several people having dinner with him at a very romantic five-star restaurant last night.

Bruce- That was a private interview. I hadn't eaten and neither had he, so it made sense to go eat. They just happen to serve my favorite prawns.

Interviewer- And last week? When you were seen picking him up from his job in your limo?

Bruce, sweating- Private interview. I happened to be in town and our schedules lined up for right then.

Interviewer- And what about a week and a half ago? When you were spotted in Smallville? The town Mr. Kent's from?

Bruce, panicking- Private interview...

Interviewer-...

Bruce-... I was... interviewing him. For a change of pace.

Interviewer- And then there's Christmas. When you were recorded staying at a resort together?

Bruce- P... private... interview..?

Interviewer-...

Yyyyy

Metropolis~

Clark, covering his eyes- I told him that was a stupid cover story.

[ryemiffie]

Stuff from my day as justice league incorrect quotes this time!

Superman: Yeah I'm pretty sure that'd kill even me.

Batman: Oh don't act like you're above my cooking, I saw you munching on batteries earlier like they were chips.

Superman: I like their zappy taste.

[incorrect-quotes-4-u]

Justice League Quote #7

Batman: Don’t worry, I have a permit.

Superman: ...This just says “I can do what I want”.

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Bruce: Why are you two fighting?

Damian: Kent keeps insisting I’m a clone.

Clark: Jon now that’s not very nice.

Jon: But it’s true. He was made the same Connor was, and everyone calls him a clone.

Clark: Well it’s different-

Jon: How?

Bruce: Yeah Clark, how?

*Outside, ten minutes later, as Bruce and Clark argue*

Tim: This was the best idea we’ve ever had.

Kon: Totally.

Damian: Tt, I believe we are owed payment?

[mcuxhp777]

just imagine how stressed the jl would be after finding out that bruce has a biological son. he's batman, so of course, he's not going to get laid, right? then he introduces the new robin that acts and looks a lot like him and the jl malfunctions

Diana: So, he's not adopted?

Bruce: No, he's my son

Clark: How did you? How can you? How did this happen?

Hal: What Clark's trying to ask is, how did you get laid?

Clark: Especially with you brooding all the time

Bruce: It just happened

Diana: *Picks up Damian* He's quite cute

Damian, about to stab Diana: I am not cute

Diana, who is used to kids with a sword due to being raised on Themyscira: Oh and he's a warrior by heart

[iwannabealice]

clark: i met this boy last night that seemed to really hate you

bruce: that could be anyone, what did he look like?

clark: tall, white, dark hair, really big-

bruce: ah, that’d be jason. my son

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: Would you like something to drink? We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper—

Clark: Spiders?

Bruce: Spiders it is, then.

Clark: No, that wasn't—

Bruce: *already pouring a glass of spiders*

[superbat-love]

Clark: [stares at Ace] Is that what I think it is?

Bruce: Oh, that’s Chewperman, Ace’s favorite chew toy.

Clark: You let Ace chew on a mini me?

Bruce: That’s what it’s made for. If it makes you feel bad, I’ll make one for Krypto too. He’ll love it, right boy?

Ace: Woof.

The following week at the Fortress of Solitude…

Bruce: Why is this toy kept behind a glass casing? It’s meant for Krypto. [takes it out of the casing and tosses it to Krypto] Here boy!

Krypto: [happily chomps on the Batman chew toy]

Clark: Noooo! Don’t! Krypto, let go of Batsqueak!

Bruce: Batsqueak?

Clark: It just feels wrong, Bruce! I can’t bear to let any harm come to Batsqueak. He should be kept safe in his ice cave, not mauled by giant fangs.

Bruce: …

[vixfern]

Bruce: So what's for dinner?

Clark: I can't tell you, it's a soup-prise!

Bruce: ...

Bruce: Is it soup?

Clark: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*

Bruce: Please, Clark, enough with the soup puns.

Clark: Wow, you're soup-per mean.

Bruce: STOP!

*one hour later*

Bruce: It's fucking tacos?!?!?!

[singswan-springswan]

Clark: Bruce Bruce what is this 9 yr old Dick: :D Clark: Bruce Bruce, haggard, injecting 5 hour energy straight into his arm: baby bird Clark: you can't let a child fight crime Bruce, near tears: you want to try and stop him? please for the love of God Clark try please Dick: I'm gonna do murder! Dick: *cartwheels* Clark: oh no Bruce: that's what I said

[ktkat99]

Clark, walking in to the Kent house- Hi, Conner. What are you watching?

Conner- Oh, nothing. Just this movie I found.

Clark- That's nice-

Conner- Starring you.

Clark- What?

Conner, unpausing the movie-

Bolt, on tv- If I stare at things really really hard they melt and fall apart.

Clark- ... Do you see now-

Conner- Why Jon's the favorite child? Yes. I do.

[ryemiffie]

This SPECIFIC quote from my day cause I laughed so hard, as batman incorrect quotes:

Batman, incredibly nervous: Soo, dinner later? Yes, no, maybe?

Superman: A hard possibly.

Batman: HA, hard possibly or possibly hard!

Superman:

Batman: Don't quote me on that.

[headcanonthings]

Clark: *Laying face down on the floor* Lois: So Bruce said he liked you? Clark, muffled: Yeah Diana: ...and you asked him to marry you? Clark: Yeah Lois: Oh shit. How did he react? Clark: Dunno, I ran before I could scare him even more *Meanwhile* Bruce, kicking in the door to the Manor: Kids, Alfred! Holy shit I'm gonna get married!

[p1nkshield]

Bruce: Robin, this is Superman

Clark: hello! it’s a pleasure to meet-

Robin!Dick: Can you throw me?

Clark: I’m sorry what?

Robin!Dick: I said can you throw me with all your strength into the sky!

Clark: No?!? Why?!? You would die!

Robin!Dick: I won’t die I’m built different!!!! Throw me!! I wanna taste the clouds and see how many flips I can do!!

Bruce: *long dad sigh*

Clark: clouds just taste like water!

Robin!Dick: Sounds like something someone might say if they wanted all the tasty clouds to themselves!

Clark: What?!?

Years Later

Dick: Uncle Clark?

Clark: No, I will not.

Dick: >:(