#(just wanted to post something nice here for new years ^^)

[sticktothestars]

𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 , " 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 '𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 . " ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

a/n: *walks in, twiddling my thumbs* so i watched thunderbolts. we're just gonna say that i totally didn't fall in love with bob. AVENGERS FOUND FAMILY FANFICS ARE SO BACK GUYS. FHDSFFJ I'LL MAKE A SEPARATE POST ABOUT WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT THE MOVIE, BUT YEAAH. I LOWKEY AM SUPER EXCITED & I CAN'T WAIT FOR YALL TO READ THIS 'CUZ I'VE BEEN HAVING THIS IDEA STUCK IN MY HEAD & IT WON'T GO AWAY. ANYWAY, IMMA STOP YAPPING NOW. ENJOOOYY!!1 (ALSO. you have the powers/fighting style of deadpool!)

paring: robert/bob reynolds x male!reader

word count: 1k+

warnings: slight spoilers for thunderbolts* if you haven't seen it. takes place post movie. slight cursing. contains a shit ton of angst & hard topics like anxiety attacks, child abuse, gore, & character death are mentioned throughout this oneshot. yeah i lowkey kind of spiraled while writing this lmfaooo.

════════════════════════════════════════════

──★

IF you told the [Y/N] from 3 months ago that you'd be working with the new avengers, you would've laughed HARD in your own face. Seriously. It would've lasted for like 7 minutes before you'd probably go tell you to fuck off or something. But now that you was here - saving people instead of being the one to end people for money - it felt trippy thing to even consider. Especially with the things you've done in your past. Despite your initial hesitation on even teaming up with this unstable group of people, you couldn't help but feel a LOT more happier than how you was before.

Maybe it was just the fact that saving people felt good or that you finally had a purpose in life - but no. It was something completely different. You was finally around people who understood what it felt like to not feel like they didn't deserve anything good or be stuck in an endless loop that just hurted you even more. It felt like a HUGE breathe of fresh air. Or maybe it was because you were around him like 99.99% of the time now after everything.

You met Bob in... troubling circumstances, to say the least. Bucky - a good friend of yours - contacted you while you were in New York in retirement from your mercenary past. You were honestly struggling a little. Working as an unsuspecting barista for some cozy coffee shop was nice & all, but it felt.. meaningless. So with one last second thought, you put your suit on & rode your motorcycle to a new mission. Which ended well overall, but with a lot of memories you wanted to lock away unfortunately.

But since then, the two of you have grown closer - especially since you were living together amongst the others in the Avenger's base. Bob obviously couldn't go on the missions due to not being able to control his powers all that well. You try to help him out the best you can when you're there.

...But sometimes that helping could go sideways.

──★

[Y/N]'s flicked open as he noticed the surroundings around him. Where was he? Just a moment ago he was sparring with Bob in the training room & then..

" Oh fuck.. " you muttered with a sigh as you realized what's happening. Your gaze fixes on a teen version of you - freshly scarred, WAY more defensive - yet afraid. Like there was something out for him. You knew what this was. You knew it all too well.

Back before you became a mercenary, you were a cage fighter in Orlando - trafficked at 7 & escaped at 16. 9 years of horror. Yeah that fucked you up pretty bad. Of course it would. But you had friends. It what kept you sane.

But they took that away too along with your dignity.

One night - when you were 16 - a new match was starting. They didn't tell you who the opponent would be. They never did. To them, it was just another body to throw away for entertainment. Having survived for so long & having so much blood on your hands, you'd think that you'd get used to it by now. But it only just got worse from there.

You stood there, watching yourself as your younger self enter the cage - a look of uneasiness on your younger self's face, tuning out the crowd of people as they cheered for blood. But you? You just wanted to know who else? Who else's blood would you have on your hands? As your opponent stumbles out into the cage with a shove from one of the guards just outside the cage, you saw your heart drop. Just by the horror on your own face.

Your opponent was your best friend, Liam. The Liam who stuck by your side through the last 9 years you've been here. The Liam who managed to make you laugh when things got that dark. The Liam who was your anchor. The Liam who you absolute adored like an older brother. You couldn't do it. You refused to. You couldn't do it if you tried.

" ... No.. No I'm not hurting him. You can't make me kill him. " You refused, backing away & banging on the cage's exit. Liam just watched you. He watched you try to figure out something. Anything to stop this match from happening. Liam knew this would happen soon. He was prepared for this. Hell, maybe he even prepared this moment from the start. You know that now. You wish you knew it sooner.

" [Y/N]. " Liam says gently, his voice calm - causing the younger you's attention to snap towards him, eyes tearing up as you tried to say something. Anything. But only a mournful silence filled between the two of you as the crowd cheered for the two of you to fight. You shook your head, keeping your head down.

" [Y/N], you have to. " Liam says gently, putting a hand on your shoulder as he approached. You just shook your head. " No- No- I-i-i can't- " You stammered out, clenching your fists so tight you felt as though you were bleeding slightly through your bandages.

" They'll kill you if you don't, kid. " Liam states. " I don't fucking care. " You say back, holding yourself close as you look back up at the 20 year old you've grown to be so attached to.

Liam sighs. " Well start caring. You're surviving. Even if it means killing me too. " The brunette says sternly.

" No! I'm not losing you! And I'm not listening to them anymore just to survive! " You call out so everyone can hear. The crowd boos, insults rolling out into the arena like a hurricane. The ringleader scoffs, motioning the guards to ready & aim at you.

Liam clocks this & horror enters his face, shielding you as bullets & sparks fly - the crowd falling silent. The bullets stop. Everything stops as a body slumps onto the ground. But it wasn't yours. It was Liam's. You stare at the hole covered body for what feels like a lifetime. You couldn't breathe. You couldn't even think straight.

Only when a guard grabs you is when you react is when you scream, absolute anguish & horror in your voice as it breaks as you're dragged out of the arena - new plans settled for you that changed your dna & life forever. The present you doesn't look away from Liam's corpse. You felt yourself spiraling within your regrets over the What If's.

What if you had let Liam kill you that day? You didn't deserve to live. Especially with the blood on your hands. The things you did without mercy. But Liam? He was kind. He was good. He deserved way better. He was so good & no one else ever got to see that goodness in him.

You scratched at the collar of your shirt, trying to force yourself to breathe but you couldn't. Everything felt so meaningless. You were meaningless. You were the problem because you couldn't keep your mouth shut.

Fuck. Everything felt so heavy. You collapsed to your knees, squeezing your eyes shut but Liam's lifeless body kept coming in again & again like a broken melody.

๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

" 'M sorry- M' so sorry- I-i should've known this would happen- I'm so fucking sorry- " A panicked & oh so familiar voice called out, snapping you out of your vision to feel Bob holding you in his arms tight as you sobbed. You hold onto his warmth, clenching his shirt. The two of you stay there for a while. Which seemed like forever. But neither one of you complained.

You sniffle slightly, letting your head nuzzle into the crook of the other's neck. And Bob just held you tighter. He couldn't let you go through this again. He couldn't bear seeing you hurt because of him.

You were probably one of the coolest people on the team, but seeing you fall apart like this felt gut wrenching. He mutters out more apologies, his chin resting on your head.

He's made everything worse again.

And to you of all people.

The man he absolutely adores.

──★

lowkey locked tf in on this one idk. hope yall enjoyed tho lowkey !! lemme know if yall want a part two or smthin cuz i'm down. SEND ME MORE REQUESTS PUHLEASEE.

anyways, that's it for now !! BUH BYEEE ^^

── DAMIEN ★

[obsessedwithceleste]

Lilac You A Lot

Theodore Nott x reader

week 2 of @acourtofchaos ‘s Festival of AUs

Summary: flower shop! au— Theo just wanted to send his roommate hate flowers…

word count: 3.4k

©️ obsessedwithceleste. all works posted here belong to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.

The shop was quiet as you carefully trimmed the leaves off of a fresh shipment of daffodils, placing each stem into a new vase with care. It was a bright and sunny day with white, fluffy clouds floating through the sky and a light breeze carrying bubbles down the street as children chased after them. Out the window you could see families and couples alike enjoying the beautiful spring day, one of the first of the year. Truly picturesque.

It's perfect, and serene, and completely ruined by the loud thud of the door slamming open, the bell above the door letting out a sharp ring. Your eyes shoot up, alarmed by the sudden noise and a bit annoyed that your peace had been so rudely interrupted. A tall boy with fluffy brown hair comes storming in, a scowl marring his his face as he slams a wad of cash onto the counter in front of you.

"What do you got in here that I could give to someone to say something along the lines of 'you're the worst and I actually hate you?'" the boy asks.

You blink, sure you must have misheard the boy.

“Sorry?” You ask, completely dumbfounded by the request.

People often underestimated how strange some requests could get working at a flower shop, and you’d seen a lot of weird stuff, but this was new.

The boy blinks back as if he’s confused how you’re confused.

“You know how some flowers have certain meanings? Got anything that says ‘fuck you’ or something of the sort?” he replies.

Your mouth forms an “o” as you finally realize what he’s asking before you begin tapping your lips, brainstorming. Stepping out from behind the counter you begin meandering about the shop as the boy follows behind.

"Well. I suppose we'll start with orange lilies then, to represent hatred," you say, carefully picking out a few of the blossoms. "Then maybe some tansy? The Victorians used those as a declaration of war," you mutter under your breath, plucking a handful of the yellow blooms.

The boy just nods along as you continue down your path.

"Definitely yellow carnations for disdain and disappointment. And then perhaps some black dahlias to finish it off? Those are known for betrayal."

You glance up, waiting for the boy's approval only for him to shrug in response.

"You're the expert here, I trust your judgement," he says, giving you a lopsided grin.

For the first time, you realize how handsome the boy in front of you is and you feel a faint tinge of red make its way up to your cheeks as you quickly turn back to the counter. Setting down your assortment of flowers, you delicately trim each one, arranging them into a nice bouquet before wrapping the whole thing up in thick brown paper.

The whole time the boy watches you quietly, hands tapping away on the counter as you work.

"So. You guys get a lot of business here?" he asks awkwardly as you begin to ring the flowers up on the register.

"Um, I suppose," you reply absent mindedly, tapping away on the screen. "Mostly from funeral homes and the like."

The boy lets out a wheeze and your eyes go wide, realizing what you'd just said.

"And anniversaries!" you say quickly, trying to salvage the situation. "Lots of anniversary bouquets. And Valentines day is always busy."

You nervously glance up, wanting to gauge how poorly the conversation is going, but the boy just laughs, shaking his head a bit as his gaze meets yours.

"Um, I have to ask," you say, clearing your throat, "What this particular bouquet is about? I've never had someone come in asking for 'fuck you' flowers. Apologies sure. All the time. But this is a new one."

"They're for my roommate," the boy responds bashfully, "he's been acting like a dick lately and I sort of snapped at him this morning before I left. Want to apologize without actually apologizing."

Now it's your turn to laugh as you finish ringing in the order, reaching out for the bills that had been left on the counter. At the same time, the boy goes to push the money towards you, his fingers brushing against yours as you feel heat returning to your cheeks.

You quickly wrap up the transaction, printing out the receipt and sliding it over the counter along with the flowers.

"Have a good day," you chirp, returning to the daffodils you had abandoned when the boy first entered the shop.

"Yeah, thanks a bunch," his eyes flicker down to the small plastic name tag that was clipped to the front of your shirt, "y/n."

"No problem," you reply with a tight lipped smile.

"Theo. My name is Theodore," he finishes before giving you a small wave and disappearing out the door.

Truth be told, you really weren't expecting to see Theo again, well, ever. Not in the flower shop at least anyway. About a month had gone by and you'd all but forgotten about the boy, save for the funny story the whole encounter had made. So when the little bell above the shop door rings out, Theo's fluffy hair and tight lipped grin were the last things on your mind. But now they were walking towards you.

You look up, surprised to see the boy as you set aside the irises you'd been preening.

"Hey there! Back for another bouquet of hatred and disappointment?" you ask.

Theo smiles.

"'Fraid not this time. Going more for 'love and happiness' this time around," he says.

You can feel the smile on your face falter for a split second before your warm smile returns. So what he had a special someone? You'd met him once, it really was none of your business.

"Course," you reply, flowers already coming to mind as you lead Theo through the shop. "Think we'll start with pink roses this time then, for joy and positivity. Lavender for devotion. And maybe some white daisies," you decide, plucking a few of those as well. "Those stand for pure and joyful love."

Once again, Theo just nods along, eyes scanning the rows and rows of flowers, all organized by color and size. It really was a beautiful little shop.

"What about those? I think she said she liked those pink ones over there," he says, making his way over to the vase that held your pink carnations.

"Those are, definitely a choice. Carnations represent beauty, pink ones specifically are known to represent motherly love," you reply.

Theo is quite for a moment, weighing his options as his finger tips brush the soft pink petals.

"Can we add a few?" he asks finally.

You nod, pulling out a handful of the delicate flowers and bringing them back up to the counter. You methodically begin trimming each stem, the movements practically second nature to you at this point. When you're finally done arranging the flowers, you present the bouquet to Theo for his approval and receive a small nod.

"Your partner is lucky, these flowers are gorgeous," you say, trying to make small talk as you begin tapping away at your register.

"Oh no, these aren't-" Theo all but splutters as you look up from the screen.

It looks like he can't tell whether he should laugh or be utterly horrified by your words.

"It's my mother's birthday," he explains quickly, hand rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "Hey wait a second, you thought I would put flowers that stand for motherly love into to bouquet for a partner?" he asks, eyebrows furrowing at the realization.

"Alright, in my defense, the last time you were in here you were buying hate flowers. I figured it was best to just not question it," you reply, not able to help the small laugh that escapes your lips.

"I don't even have a partner," Theo mumbles as his laughter joins yours, his face tinged red.

"Well. if you did, I'm sure they'd be very lucky, even if they were receiving motherly love flowers," you reply lightly, as you hand over the bouquet. "And I hope your mom has a wonderful birthday."

Theo stiffens, shifting awkwardly as you silently curse to yourself. Dear god what had you said now?

"Well, she actually, kind of, passed away," Theo replies.

You feel your hand slap over your mouth, eyes going wide as you scramble to apologize.

"I'm so sorry-"

Theo cuts you off.

"No, no. You didn't know. I don't even know why I brought it up, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking," he rushes out, gripping the stems of the flowers so tightly his knuckles were turning white.

"It's not your fault. It must be a hard day. Um, but for what it's worth, I really am sorry.”

You can see Theo visibly relax, his grip on the flowers loosening and a slight smile returning to his lips.

“Thanks.”

And just like that he’s gone again.

Mattheo lets out a long, low whistle as Theo sets down yet another vase of yellow, orange, and black blossoms on the countertop.

"For me?" he asks, batting his eyes at his brown haired roommate who just scowls.

"You see, this? This is exactly why I bring you these flowers," Theo scoffs, batting Mattheo away from the bouquet he'd just placed down.

"You reward him with flowers for being an annoying prat?" Lorenzo asks dryly from his spot on the couch.

Theo glares at his other so called friend. While Enzo might not officially be their third roommate, he was practically a permanent fixture in their shared apartment. Though he wouldn't be for long with that attitude if Theo had anything to say about it.

"No, no dear Enz. Theo isn't getting flowers because he cares about me. He just wants an excuse to see the pretty shop clerk that works there. Why do you think he's suddenly constantly showing up everywhere with flowers?" Mattheo teases.

It was true as much as Theo didn't want to admit it. In the past month and a half he'd basically had weekly visits to your flower shop looking for any excuse to stop by. The Malfoys invited them over for dinner? Hydrangeas for Narcissa. Daphne's younger sister was ill again? Blue chrysanthemums and a get well soon card. Pansy's birthday bash? Pink tulips. He'd actually gotten into a bit of trouble for that one after Pansy told Draco he should take a page from Theo's book and get her flowers from time to time.

Enzo leans back on the sofa, a familiar sly smirk forming on his face as he stretches his legs out on the coffee table.

"Really? Maybe we outta take a trip to this flower shop Matt. See what all the fuss is about," he suggests.

"Like hell you will," Theo snorts, grabbing the nearest item off the counter, a suspiciously brown banana, and chucking it at Lorenzo.

The other boy catches the rotten fruit with ease as he laughs gleefully at how easy it was to get under Theo's skin.

“Well are you gonna ask ‘em out or not?” Mattheo asks. “Cause at the rate you’re going, this apartment is going to end up a greenhouse.”

The scowl on Theo’s face deepens as he rolls his eyes and joins Lorenzo on the opposite side of the sofa. His phone buzzes, screen lighting up as he quickly flips the phone over, trying to slip it into his pocket. Enzo is faster though.

“Nah ah, I saw that Nott. What’re you trying to hide?” His eyes gleaming at the idea of yet another chance to tease his friend.

“It’s no one,” Theo groans, head falling back onto the couch cushion behind him.

“No one wouldn’t have you trying to hide your phone. What? Does flower power have competition or something?” Mattheo questions.

Theo doesn’t reply which only causes the grins on Mattheo and Enzo’s faces to grow.

“Is that your little flower shop lover?” Enzo asks excitedly, leaning forward.

But they all already knew the answer.

“Been holding out on us, eh?” Mattheo laughs as Theo tries his best to melt into the sofa. “If you like ‘em that much, just ask ‘em out. We won’t scare them off or nothin’. Who knows, maybe they’ll even like us bet-“

Mattheo is cut off by the thud of a pillow hitting him square in the face.

“I’m getting around to it,” Theo mutters.

When the bell above the shop door rings out, you look up half expecting to see Theo sauntering towards you; so when you see a head of platinum blonde hair that definitely did not belong to Theo stalking towards you instead, you’re more than a little surprised.

The brunette boy had been coming in a lot more frequently as of late. Not that you were complaining of course. You’d even managed to procure the boy’s number, though it had taken a bit of stumbling from the both of you. Nevertheless, you liked talking to him. Something about the two of you just seemed to click.

You’re brought back to reality when the boy slams his wallet onto the counter, eerily mirroring your first encounter with Theo.

“Can I help you?” You ask cautiously, giving the boy a healthy amount of side eye.

“I need the most expensive and most romantic bouquet of flowers you can make me,” the boy replies.

“Um, just how extravagant are we talking here?”

The boy narrows his eyes.

“Whatever will make those pink tulips you did for Theo last week look like they were found in a gas station dumpster,” he replies, speaking as though he’d never said anything more important in his life.

The only thing that stops you from bursting out laughing on the spot is the boy’s mention of Theo. If he didn’t have your full, undivided attention before, he certainly did now.

“You know Theo?” You ask, tilting your head and trying to sound as nonchalant as humanly possible.

“Yeah, and can you believe him? Shows up to my girlfriend’s birthday bash with a big ole bouquet of flowers. Completely steals my thunder. Do you know what Pansy has been saying to me? She says ‘Draco you should take a page out of Theo’s book for once.’ She says ‘Theo has been bringing everyone the most lovely flowers.’ ‘Theo is so considerate, blah blah blah.’ As if I wasn’t there when he brought my mother those hydrangeas. Lovely work by the way. But it isn’t as if he’s doing anything special, he’s not even the one doing the brunt of the work. And of course I know all about you already. Theo won’t shut up about you.”

You can’t help but be amused by, who you assume is Draco, as he continues to monologue about how completely overshadowed he’s been since Theo found the flower shop. And you also can’t help but notice the way Theo seemed to have talked about you quite a bit to his friends. Your heart flutters a bit in your chest at the thought before you decide it would probably be best to steer Draco back on course.

“I think we have a couple dozen red roses that have your name on them,” you say with a breathy laugh as you direct him towards the back of the shop.

You were on your toes today. You’d been texting Theo all morning when he casually mentioned possibly swinging by the shop that afternoon and now your eyes were snapping up towards the door at every little noise in anticipation. It was getting bad. You were down horrendously.

The only sounds now in the quiet shop was the soft snipping of your gardening sheers as you focus in on your new batch of orchids. There'd been a huge order of them placed and you'd always found them a bit hard to work with. Especially since their stems needed so many extra supports.

You're so wrapped up wrestling your orchids and trying to get them to stand upright, that you don't even notice the light ring of the bell above the door, or the familiar tapping of fingers on the counter, or the intense gaze focused on you- happy to just watch and observe quietly.

It's not until you finally step back, mostly satisfied with your work that you notice the boy who'd snuck in.

"What do you think?" you ask him, proudly showing off the rows of plants you'd been laboring over.

Theo just smiles giving one of the flowers a soft poke and causing it to spring free of the stake that held it in place. Your smile drops as you glare at the offending plant, clipping it back into place.

"You know if you're going to continue to cause problems, I'll have to ask you to leave," you quip as you check over the rest of the pots to make sure they're all secure.

"Oh come on now, you wouldn't kick out your favorite customer," Theo replies, that grin on his face telling you that he knew well and good that you'd never actually make good on your threat.

"Well I don't know about favorite, let's not push it. You know I'm quite fond of Mr. Lupin. Comes in every Sunday to get his wife sunflowers," you tease as Theo just rolls his eyes, shaking his head at you. "Oh and speaking of favorite customers, I had the funniest conversation with one just the other day. You might know him. Platinum blonde hair-"

"Draco was here?" Theo asks in horror, cutting you off.

"Mhmm. Would not stop going on about how you kept showing him up bringing flowers everywhere."

You can see Theo visibly gulp.

"He, mention anything else?"

"Mmm, just that you never shut up about me or the flower shop," you reply with a taunting grin.

"Yeah well, how could I not when you've been such a help in slowly breaking down Draco's sense of self worth."

"I'm sure. So what are we putting together today? More hate flowers? Or a retaliation bouquet perhaps since Draco walked out of here with four dozen red roses?"

"Four dozen- he was being serious then? Alright. Um, I'm actually here for something a little different today. I uh, have a list of what I want," he tells you, pulling out his phone. "Let's see, I wanted to start with peonies."

You raise your eyebrows, surprised he'd brought a list as you both usually just made it up as you went, but you step out from behind the counter, easily seeking out the pretty, pink flowers.

"You're lucky it's peony season, we only get these beauties for a couple months of the year," you tell him as you begin to gather them up. "What's next?"

"Uh, pink roses? And I was also thinking baby's breath," he replies, following you dutifully through the rows of flowers.

You could clearly see where this bouquet was headed, you weren't dumb. No wonder he'd already picked out the flowers himself, you think wistfully to yourself as you continue to pull flowers from their pots.

"And then the last one is lilac," Theo says, stashing his phone back into his pocket as he glances nervously around the shop.

You give a small nod, collecting the last of the blooms before taking your usual path back up to the counter. There's an awkward silence as you begin to arrange the bouquet, evening out stems and plucking off stray leaves. Theo just watches quietly like he usually does, apparently oblivious to the sinking feeling in your gut.

When you finally finish, you hand Theo the flowers and he pays quickly before shyly thrusting the flowers back over the counter at you. Your brows furrow, head tilting in confusion.

"For you," Theo clarifies as you hesitantly take the flowers. "I looked up all the flowers. The peonies for uh, love and good fortune, and the pink roses for admiration. The baby's breath is for everlasting love, and the lilac stands for first emotions of love. Or at least that's what google told me. But, I was wondering, if you maybe, possibly wanted to go out sometime?"

You can’t help the giddy smile that appears on your face at his words, or the way your face presses gently against the petals of the flowers as you inhale.

“Of course. I was wondering how long it would take you to ask me,” you reply, setting the flowers back down.

“That obvious huh?” Theo asks, the pink tinge returning to his cheeks.

“Nobody needs flowers for as many random functions as you’ve had in the past two months Theo. Not even someone trying to crush his friend’s ego into the ground.”

My all-time favorite flower shop prompt🤗

[imdoingjustgr8]

hey

soooo... how have any fellow td fans been coping recently

meme aside, i got """a bit""" of a vent coming below that no one's obligated to read. and if you do, forgive me if it ends up long asf and kind of all over the place. it was 5 in the morning when i began writing and i just want a place to get all my thoughts out or i won't be able to sleep in peace.

so, here it goes:

td suddenly being taken down out of nowhere and confirmed to be canceled, never to come back was a massive bummer and all, but honestly? i've been taking the news of the official td discord server's impending deletion much harder. don't get me wrong, i do feel really damn bad for outlaik, i just find him dropping td much easier to accept than seeing the first and only big dc community i've ever joined, that encouraged me to post so much sonexe art in the first place, hell, even have made a bit of a name for myself in (literally being known as "the sonexe guy") be sent to oblivion along with it.

to think that i initially only played a random goofy-looking sonic.exe roblox game out of sheer boredom, to think that i initially joined the discord to only make player reports and maybe lurk around. but when i discovered the creations channel, i've ended up checking that very channel almost religiously, posted alot of my own silly drawings, and met so many cool, funny people and amazing fellow artists that have inspired me to this day.

i've only been around for 2 (and a half?) years, so to see everything go down to shit so suddenly was really jarring. i tend to be a really sentimental guy, like "i hoard 1000+ pictures of a sand sculpture i just built in multiple angles" levels of sentimental, so the thought of all those fun interactions and discussions, creative takes and suggestions, and amazing art that i couldn't all save becoming inaccessable to look back on, to become completely wiped out soon has been pretty distressing to me. it doesn't help that most of the artists i've followed on there don't seem to have links or have posted on other platforms.

one of my biggest comforting hopes at the moment is that if anyone else from on there i've interacted with happens to see this and recognize me, artist or not, i'd be really happy to give you a follow! and to those who don't, if i might not see you again for awhile or ever, i wish you well and hope you know you're cool asf. like, i seriously feel very lucky and grateful of how nice and unexpectedly crazy-supportive everyone was, especially with my first ever sonexe post. i really mean it when i said you're all what encouraged me to post without fearing massive judgement and made me feel excited to share my silly doodles and ideas. seriously, thank you all.

also, i feel as if this is something that needs to be said, or atleast said more; i hope that people would learn to be more considerate of outlaik's pov on everything. i seriously doubt anyone would have the motivation to continue a project they wanted to move on from long ago in the first place. getting a copyright claim on his ass, having his acc and dev career at risk, still being constantly interrogated about td's return (bc of ppl making shit up) when he's already done all he could was just the final nail in the coffin for him with the game. i respect him wanting to just quickly move on and i do hope he finds successs, possibly pull even more than what he got from td with current and future projects he can fully enjoy. i'd also have to thank him and his game for bringing us all together in the first place.

ok big sappy rant over. idk how to end this gracefully i just rlly want to go to sleep atp lmao. i've been typing for 4 straight hours kill me rn

good mor-night 😪

[dazedantics]

TWST Stories

I had to go back through all my posts to make this, it took forever, I wanna cry. No idea if I got them all, but oh well. Hope all the links work

In Ruins (Malleus Draconia)

All you want is to keep your son safe from a prince whose obsessed with you. Running and hiding has gotten you this far, but how much longer will that help? Is using his fear of the Malleus Draconia a good idea? Or will Malleus unleash his wrath on you for using the bad rumors spread about him to your advantage?

Pt 1

Pt 2

Pt 3

Pt 4

Pt 5

Pt 6

Pt 7

Pt 8

Pt 9

Pt 10 ... pending

Accidents (Rollo Flamme)

The unexpected has happened, Rollo knows he has to make it right. He's obligated to. That's all there is to it. Yeah ... I mean, it's not like it's nice having you around, being responsible for you ... it's just his duty as a gentleman ....

Pt 1

Pt 2

Pt 3

Kiss Quiz (Multiple Boys)

Crowley isn't helping, you and Grim need money. What better way to scrounge up some cash than a kissing booth?

So this is Love (Neige LeBlanche)

You didn't mean to make him infatuated

Crush (Deuce Spade)

It's hard to focus around you

Serene (Rollo Flamme)

Spending the night together

Cooking by the Book (Trey Clover)

Getting help from a pro

Once a Year (Rollo Flamme)

It's opposite day, so this is okay

Dangerous Man (Malleus Draconia)

Scared to stop his yandere actions

Their Hands (Multiple Boys)

What I imagine their hands look/feel like

Hold (Multiple Boys)

How I imagine they'd hold your hand

Four Eyes (Trey, Azul)

The differences between our spec wearers

Ma Cherie (Rook Hunt)

You're not trapped if he loves you, right?

Never Him (Rollo Flamme)

He isn't disgusting like everyone else

Marriage? (Multiple Boys)

A secret got out

Mistletoe (Malleus Draconia)

He doesn't know what that is

Mama (Deuce Spade)

If Dilla got close to Yuu

Drowning (Octatrio)

You've been ensared by these sirens

Mortal Enemies (Riddle Rosehearts)

Fighting to be the first to finish wordsearches

Aghast (Rollo Flamme)

What a blasphemous discussion

Club Obsession (Multiple Boys)

Story idea for the boys in their groups of clubs

Sleepover (Neige, Kalim)

Cute, tame, and fun, the best pairing

Bunking (Ace, Deuce, Grim)

When you need to sleep in their dorm

The New Queen (Cater Diamond)

You need to get out of here

Holiday Spirit (Rollo Flamme)

Christmas with the president

Acceptance (Rook Hunt)

I have finally seen all his good traits

Kiss Kiss (Neige LeBlanche)

How Neige parts from you

Told Ya So (Rollo Flamme)

When Malleus Overblots

Ace of Diamonds (Ace, Cater)

They're one in the same

Dialogue (Rollo Flamme)

I want to hear his voice more

Bulletpoints (Rollo Flamme)

I want more Rollo things to read

A Friend Indeed (Rook Hunt)

He's good for a few things

Ace (Ace Trappola)

Something he'd say

Short Skit (Rook, Rollo, Malleus)

Short Skit (Crewel, Ace, Grim)

Short Skit (Riddle)

Short Skit (First years)

Short Skit (Leona, Ruggie)

Short Skit (Pomefiore Trio)

Short Skit (Diasomnia, Ace, Deuce)

Short Skit (Malleus)

Short Skit (Leona, Malleus, Grim)

Short Skit (Overblot boys)

Short Skit (Grim, Ace, Deuce)

Short Skit (Lilia, Malleus)

Short Skit (Diasomnia, Rollo)

Short Skit (Ace, Deuce, Grim, Ghosts)

Short Skit (Malleus)

Short Skit (Malleus)

Short Skit (Malleus)

Short Skit (Rollo)

Short Skit (Vil, Epel, Neige)

Short Skit (Ace)

Short Skit (Ace, Grim, Ghosts)

Short Skit (Rollo)

Short Skit (Ruggie, Ace, Deuce)

Short Skit (Vil, Neige)

Short Skit (Fellow, Gidel)

[lostwysteria]

(Part 9! Alright. I lied. One post today because I'll need the mood booster all the likes, reblogs, comments, and asks give me. The next two weeks are gonna be hell. Inspections are comin up at work. Save me.)

Masterlist

Lin Ling watched Moon wander around in a daze, staring at her tablet like it held the secrets of the universe. He was dusting the whole apartment. Nice had been more than happy to fly him to the ceiling so he could get anything there.

The poor touch starved thing had been purring the whole time. That made Moon even more dazed. 

“I have no clue why I can purr. It started about a year ago, though.” Nice explained. Moon had choked before lunging towards her tablet. She had a maniacal look to her face. She ran over to the hidden closet and grabbed streetwear and changed quickly. She sprinted out of the apartment. 

She doubled back after Ling reminded her to grab her teleportation gun. 

…

Faejay @rockinrobin

I never knew I needed an unhinged Moon until I had it in my life.

*A video of Moon, in the corner of a cafe, a teleportation gun on the table nearly hidden by 5 empty cups of coffee. She was laughing maniacally as she did something on her tablet*

…

Moon returned several hours later, looking satisfied. The Ling and Nice looked at eachother and decided not to ask.

“Did Miss. J need me for anything whike I was out?” Moon asked.

“Nope. She’s been pretty quiet, honestly” Nice said.

Ling choked on his drink. “I think I know why. Look”

Ling showed the two Nice’s tablet screen. He’d been catching up on some news when a new headline popped up on the feed.

“Nice climbs to rank 13” Nice read aloud. “But I didn't do anything?” 

…

J looked at the news in satisfaction. She had seen the signs of Nice breaking for a couple of years now. There was very little she could do, though. At this point, he was thoroughly cracked, mentally. Broken. 

Homemaker was the perfect solution. Someone that could keep the shining Paragon together. Plus, people were starting to see that Nice could be hunan as well. Not some perfect doll. They loved him even more for it, too. 

Perhaps there was a way for her to give Nice his boyfriend, too. People loved a good redemption arc.

…

“Alright. Don't be nervous. Moon and I will be on set. You can wait right here with Miss. J.” Nice said to an awkward Homemaker. He had been dragged to the True Love Recipe Studio after losing the argument with the white haired hero. 

“Moon. I need to talk to you over there for a moment.” Nice told his fake girlfriend.

Miss J was talking to the producers and he led Moon to a corner. 

He had a perfect plan. This way she could get her freedom, he could get rid of her, he could have Ling all to himself, and hopefully soon include Wreck in the equation.

“Alright. Here's the deal. I'm going to need you to follow my lead, alright? I have a plan to end this farce.”

“You mean our “relationship”? Alright. This better work, you Ken doll.” She agreed with narrowed eyes.

…

Ling was biting his nails as Enlighter took over the show.

“Moon isn't my love. She hasn't been for a while. How can I love her when that love traps her?” Nice said emotionally. The polygraph thing read true.

“What!? That idiot. Follow the script!” Miss. J yelled.

“So your relationship is fake? All a Lie?” Enlighter asked, gleeful.

“I am saying that Moon isn't happy. She hasn't been for a long time. She was a travel blogger. She traveled the world, saw wondrous sights, and could go where the wind took her. Now she is trapped by my side. How could I truly let myself love her when that love is a cage? Our love has been more that of siblings for a couple of years now. I just want her to be free.” Nice said, impassioned.

Before Enlighter could say anything a loud screech rocked the studio and a wall was destroyed.

“Well, well, well. It seems as if the show’s over.” Wreck said as he strode onto set.

[mysecret02]

Hello lovelies!

I have seen a post somewhere on Tumblr about RH!Jason meeting Robin!Jason and surprisingly liking him so I must comment on the idea.

So the batfamily trying to hide little Robin so he won't meet Red Hood but RH didn't tell them that he would be in the cave because he was there to steal supplies, which would have been given to him if he would do as much of asking, but he's still on and off with the bats so he just collects new antidotes and gadgets which were left outside- meaning weren't locked in impenetrable lockers- every month. Barbara was at the Clocktower as it became her place to lead the bats around from so the cave was free game to Jason.

The batmobile arrives and little Jay jumps out before anyone could stop him. He starts to look around and wander in awe of how much has changed and how much has stayed the same. I like to think the house got remodeled few years after him meeting his unfortunate and temporary end but the cave barely changed only got modernized and new rooms got added.

So he is in the back stealing a blanket he found comfortable- they have more anyways so it's not like B couldn't get a new one, just like he got a new kid- he thinks bitterly and starts to go back to the main area stuffing the blanket in his bag on the way when he hears the tires on the cave ground and just stops.

He sees the black haired little boy in a Robin costume and thinks he really needs to get Dick to talk to Bruce because it's getting out of hand. Damian was one thing but a new one and so soon, that's a lot messed up.

But then Robin!Damian gets out of the car and it doesn't make any sense anymore. The new kid didn't seem like a match to Damien in physich and the little demon didn't try to kill him so maybe another bastard?

Alfred appears and the new kid happily runs to him and yells about some time and universe twists? "Like that pastry you like to make on Sundays! Can I have it, can I have it pleese🥺?" and others start to gather around, parking their vehicles and fast walking towards the boy.

Spoiler gets to him first and ruffles his hair earning a yelp and an adorable blush as the boy fidgets with the seam of his cape, it's a familiar motion, he used to do it when he was still... Robin.

He just stands there, frozen in time, ice crawling in his veins, his ears are ringing and he holds the zip on the bag half-made, watching as his family loves him, that boy right in front of them and he wants to yell "But I am right here!" and "Why can't you love me if you can love me-him?!" but he can't, he is so mad yet he just stands there watching as Cass calls him her little brother and the kid lookes up at Damian with sparkling eyes of a kid who suddenly has a sibling his age so he won't ever need to play alone. Dick looks at him as if the world gave him hope after showing him everything bad in it. Steph just calls him cute continuously and he shouldn't be jealous of being called cute but he always liked when someone complimented him or just cared enough to say something nice, that's partially why he tried to get Batman to smile. It was his new dad and his greatest achievement was making his caretaker happy like he never could before because his mom was too deep in addiction and dad needed to work a lot for two-face so they could pay rent until B said he wasn't his son anymore, then everything went downhill.

He wants to back away, he can wait in the medical wing or sneak out through the cave systems. And as his boots scraped the ground little Jay looked straight at him. His mask wasn't on anymore, his blue eyes, a shade he can't see in the mirror anymore, looking curious, interest clearly peeked as everyone else noticed it too.

Worried and pale looks were switching between the faces. The voices died down, the silence was deafening, his breathing starting again but being too erratic.

Bruce tried to put his hand on little Jay's shoulder but he slipped away and walked closer to Red Hood. He wasn't wearing his helmet but he was wearing his full uniform sans the guns, he didn't like making Alfie mad, who was watching the scene unfold with shiny eyes.

They met in the middle and when did he start walking? He looked at the small child wearing his favourite Wonder Woman socks B always scolded them because a small seam was showing. His unruly black curls with barely showing red roots because he wanted to look like Dickie and no sign of white at the front. He still had a crooked teeth Barbara sat him down and explained how much it can make chewing painful in the future and made sure Alfie took him to the dentist's.

More and more little signs showing up on his small form, his little mannerisms, the way he played with his fingers and the seams of his costume and he couldn't be mad at this child, he was just a kid doing his best. And Red Hood notorious crime lord and protector of Crime Alley had a reputation for having a soft spot for kids.

He got down on his knees -and God the kid was small-not much bigger than him on his knees and hugged the kid. He cradled his hand through his thick curls like he rememberd his mom doing it and pulling him sideways on his lap, little Jay's head being on his armored jacket. He heard a tentative whisper: "You look big like dad...-he buried his face in his neck-but you love me..?"

It made him smile in a bitter but comfortable way as he hugged himself closer and somehow they got on the couch in the library with the blanket on little Jay's shoulder and partially on Jason's own, reading to himself on the voice of his dad he always hated after the pit and finding it not that bad anymore, he could bring comfort even looking like this, maybe being this way wasn't so bad, if only for little Jay. They stayed like that until the other universe's Batman came to collect his little bird and bring him home. Maybe it was enough to have changed things there. Maybe.

The family feltdumb folded and monitored the interactions between the two Jasons but there was nothing out of the ordinary, no long lasting physical damage to be seen. Just one soul and two stories interlining and mixing, maybe it can change the future here too." Maybe" thought Bruce and put the blanket on a sleeping Red Hood, his son.

[pestoskopi]

Pines twins au where Ford is in his 50s but Stanley is 23 years old. (Explanation below the cut)

A homeless Stan finally admits defeat and shows up on his brother’s door step with tears streaming down his face and he’s greeted the same way as he was in the show. It takes Ford a minute to realize who the person in front of him is but when he gets a good look at the kids face he drops his weapon with a soft; ��Stanley…?”

Stan can’t even get out an apology for randomly showing up before Ford immediately kicks into older brother mode and bombards Stan with questions. Asking what’s wrong, what happened, are mom and dad okay, how’s Sherman? Stan tells him Fillbrick kicked him out and he has no where to go.

Ford doesn’t even think twice before telling Stan he can stay with him. He couldn’t stand the thought of turning his baby brother away when he had no where else to go. They hadn’t talked since Stan was 17 but he knew that his brother never asked for help, he always figured out his problems on his own.

So the fact he was standing here, on Ford’s porch, repeating apologies in between sobs and mentally cursing himself for doing exactly what Fillbrick said he would do, was a big deal. Ford tries to calm him; he pulls Stan into his chest and holds onto him tightly, telling him that it’s okay and that he’s here now.

When Stanley does calm down, Ford brings him inside so he’s not out in the cold for any longer. He gets him settled onto the couch and makes him hot chocolate. Stanley is able to better explain what happened and Ford listens silently, waiting for Stan to finish before he gives his opinion.

He finishes his statement with letting Stan know that as long as he’s alive he will //always// have a place to stay and have someone to love him. He panics when his little brother starts to cry again except this time it’s tears of relief instead of sadness.

Stan rambles on about how life was after Ford left. He repeated a few times how lonely he was and Ford felt a stab of guilt everytime the words left his mouth. Leaving was the hardest decision he had ever made.

His baby brother was his everything, he was the entire reason Ford stayed in New Jersey for so long. He wrote to Stan in the years they were apart but never heard anything back. He had always assumed it was because Stanley was mad at him for leaving him and the letters became less and less frequent until eventually they stopped.

He knew now though that, it couldn’t be true, because Ford was the first person Stanley came to when he gave up. He was the first person he broke down to. And the first person he admitted how lonely he was to.

Stanley didn’t do that. Everyone in his life knew that. He didn’t give up, he didn’t ask for help, he didn’t //want// help, and he certainly didn’t admit so easily how he was feeling inside.

But Stan was exhausted and hurting. His body ached from sleeping in his car and his mind felt gone. Sometimes he would push his seat back and stare up at the ceiling and by the time he snapped out of his trance, hours had gone by.

His head buzzed painfully and his mind swirled in bouts of dizziness occasionally. He was tired of feeling this way and knew very well he couldn’t go on like that.

That first night at Fords cabin was probably the best Stan had slept in months. Maybe years.

He had forgotten how nice it was to sleep on an actual mattress, and how nice it was to be able to relax and not feel as vulnerable.

He never had window covers for his car. He swore for months to get them and never did. So now sleeping in a secure room, in his brothers house was the best feeling to him.

I’m not sure how to end this little rant so yeah, that’s it :) I’m excited to actually write stuff for this!!

And all credits to Wolfy for this idea!!! I saw their art from 2024 and couldn’t help myself because they are so cutie :(

Even tho they’re the same age I’ve always thought of Ford as the older brother and just about screamed when I saw Wolfys post.

I needed to write something for them cause I’m also a HUGE fan of mullet Stan and I need more opportunities to write about him :)

(This also is lowkey inspired by @artsymeeshee because I love love love her art and it makes me want to write more cuddly Pines twins and this little au seems perfect for that :))

[saveahorserideaneddie]

fair warning: this is going to be a kinda negative/pessimistic post about the state if buddie in my mind, and is no way meant to cause any kind of anger in anyone who disagrees with me- you have every right to your opinion just like i have every right to mine- but i wanted to get my thoughts on the episode out into my echo chamber, so if you don’t want to read this please scroll now (those who would like to read please read under the cut, but do not come into my inbox or replies trying to start anything if you disagree bc you have been warned)🙏💕

the thing is i can’t even be mad at the episode because it was so reminiscent of the episodes that make me love this show as a show

but the buddie of it all was so disappointing…. like it felt like i was just watching any old episode with a buddie moment that will no doubt spark 50,000 edits and fanfics, but it wasn’t giving “these two are being set up for something more.”

it was literally just the same old buddie- like we got more close-to-going-canon energy in 8a than we did here, it was quite literally just the same dynamic they’ve had for seasons at this point, and while yeah they already act like a married couple, that’s what the GA is used to so if they were actually setting it up, wouldn’t they try to at least make a slight pivot into leaning more into the energy they have?

i’m tired so idk if i’m really articulating my thoughts as clearly as i’d like, but i hope y’all get what i’m trying to say here- like it definitely doesn’t feel like buck and eddie are being set up to like hate each other forever or that they are going to turn into sworn enemies or anything like that, but this ep very much was the same kind of “this is what the writers think best friends act like” energy that we’ve had since s2

i just wish we could have gotten something: a look, a moment, a glimpse of something that could be like “hey- this is different. this is new. you haven’t seen them like this before and that’s important.” but we got nothing like that.

i mean sure- the conversation with pepa was nice (after the random ass bombshell that she had a stroke which… ???? why was that not mentioned before OR taken into account when eddie was moving????) but it didn’t establish anything new for them; she just said “change is good” but like…. show us a hint of how things are going to change, y’know? it can’t be foreshadowing if there’s nothing of substance to support the foreshadowing (and at this point, we have one more episode of the season- are they seriously going to use all of this ryliver bait and all this “buddie” talk outside and not do anything in the show??)

bc like- until they confess and actually act on their feelings, they are not canon; because until there’s and actual action made, the writers have room to change their mind on things again, and suddenly the idea of buddie is getting pushed back to the end of season nine.

it’s been eight years. eight. years. and we’re no closer to buddie canon than we were at the start of s8. one of them may have a “feelings realization” next episode, but what will that be? just a prolonged glance? a face? something that can easily be explained away once ratings and viewership is up again and they don’t have to drag us along anymore? (until engagement inevitably drops again)

people keep talking about “we need pining” or “we need a slowburn” and im like, at this point anything hindering them from acting on their feelings is just delaying them actually going canon, and we run the risk of the writers just completely giving up (bc again- after eight years, the running in circles has to he exhausting for that writer’s room; it certainly is for me who has been here since day one)

if buddie have not confessed/acted on their feelings in any way after the next episode, then we need to accept that they are just blatantly attempting to queerbait us. because let’s be for real: if nothing happens next ep, what realistically could ryliver talk about pertaining to buddie’s future in these interviews? they won’t know anything, bc nothing has been developed or written. it would just be a whole bunch of “oh i guess we have to wait and see” shit.

which is why i still believe we are still being dragged along by the production to keep engagement going after it started tanking post-episode 15/16; because they have set up nothing for buddie in the finale (aside from individual moments maybe that don’t pertain to each other) and with a building collapse/explosion taking up an entire episode of screentime, we have no room for anything to be setup before credits roll.

overall- i didn’t hate the episode in terms of quality; it was well paced, written (aside from a couple nitpicks in character moments but nothing too drastic) and directed- and ofc the acting was amazing as usual- but from a buddie standpoint, it was not giving what all the buzz around buddie/eddie lately implied otherwise would be giving, and it looks like we’re just going to continue being baited throughout hiatus until they inevitably give one of them a new LI to “stir up drama” and then get stuck in the s6 situation where the show gets canceled and we’re stuck with nothing.

[shannonsketches]

something something foils moving in opposite directions Goku's always happy to seek and fight stronger opponents because he spent most of his life being the strongest guy in the room and Vegeta wants to be the strongest/is always exhausted to find stronger opponents because he spent most of his life having to navigate his survival around the whims of the strongest guy in the universe room and so Goku has a foundation of safety and stability and so spends his time craving challenge and adventure and Vegeta has a foundation of challenge and adventure and spends his time craving safety and stability and the overlaid section of their venn diagram is that the only way they know how acquire and maintain those things is through battle

[liminevator]

If our estimates are correct, there are at least a few planets out there in reality with access to our database who have just celebrated new years, and we here at The Archive hope that whatever coming year it may be for you now will be a good one. The world out there may be a scary place but don't let it get the best of you if you can help it, and of course, stay safe out there!

- Rito Kusatta

[mimiyanna]

Yippeeeeeeee

[doctorweebmd]

accidentally* brainstormed a very complete outline for chapters 4-8 for eih, which should theoretically take us through Part 1. which is. you know. a godsend or whatever.

*accidentally meaning i was just eating delicious pancakes and the thoughts happened. usually its me crying screaming and shitting myself in front of an empty word document where ideas manifest. this is notably much more pleasant.

[thecindercrow]

The podcast I’ve been doing volunteer transcripts for gave me a shoutout and compliments for my work in the new episode!

[love-fireflysong]

You know, for someone who does not have any way of playing cds that isn't a laptop I sure do like buying them...

[maaarine]

Why are British teenage girls so unhappy? Here’s the answer (Caitlin Moran, The Times, Sep 13 2024)

"The report, by the Children’s Society, found that British 15-year-old girls are the most unhappy in Europe.

British girls aged 10-15 are “significantly less happy” with their life, appearance, family and school than the average boy — and their happiness is still declining.

Boys’ life satisfaction, meanwhile, remains broadly stable. (…)

But I still didn’t have an “aha!” moment about why this so disproportionately affects girls until… I talked to some teenage girls.

It was at a party, and I went to vape with them on the patio. Because I take my nicotine like children do.

“Duh — it’s the boys,” one said when I brought it up, as all the others agreed.

“The boys?” I asked.

My last book, What About Men?, had been all about how much boys struggle these days: their loneliness; their suicide rates. I’d spent the past year feeling very sympathetic towards boys.

“Yeah, well, who do you think they’re taking out their unhappiness on? It’s us,” another girl said.

“One boy at school used to draw a picture every day of how ugly I was,” a third girl said. “Every day for two years.”

“They’ve all got ‘Rate The Girls’ polls on their WhatsApps,” the first said. “They mark you down for weight gain, haircuts, what you say.”

“But then, if you’re hot, it’s just as bad, in a different way, because they’ll be talking about how they want to f*** you.”

The girls discussed coping techniques. Bad news: none of them worked.

“The only way you can stop them is if you become ‘one of the boys’ and hang out with them. But then,” the second girl said with a sigh, “all the other girls call you a slut. Because you’ve gone over to the boys’ side.”

“Surely it’s not all the boys?” I said. “There must be some nice boys?”

“Oh, yeah,” one girl said. “But they keep their heads down. Because… well, look.”

She showed me the Instagram account of her friend. Under every picture she posted of herself — smiling in a new dress; with her dog — dozens of anonymous accounts had replied with the most rank abuse.

“Fat.” “Slut.” “You gonna try and kill yourself again, for attention?”

“They’re all boys from her school,” she said. “And look, this one boy tried to defend her.”

I saw a series of messages from a brave teenage boy, posting things like, “You’re all big men, leaving these replies under anonymous accounts.”

As I could see, this boy immediately became a target too. Mainly accusations that he was “white knighting” this girl: “You wanna f*** her, bro?”

“So,” I asked, “you don’t think it’s social media pressure to be beautiful, or the economy, that’s making girls so sad?”

“Well, yeah, them too,” the first girl said. “But, Monday-Friday, 9-3, I’m not on social media. I’m not… in the economy. I’m just with these boys. And no one talks about how horrible they are.”

I thought about another recent report, showing a 30 per cent ideological gap between Gen Z men, who are increasingly conservative, and Gen Z women, who are increasingly progressive.

I thought about Andrew Tate, who has nine million mostly young male followers — and faces human trafficking charges, which he denies.

And I thought: maybe these girls are on to something. Maybe more people need to vape with teenage girls and ask them for the school gossip."

[foldingfittedsheets]

When I was working at the sex shop I was pulling poverty wages. I loved my job but I was on food stamps and still barely getting by. When they hired the stores first male employee and he started at my pay rate after I’d been there for three years I quit.

I was initially really nervous when I saw the post for the mattress job. It listed a pay scale that I couldn’t even conceptualize and I appeared qualified. When I got an interview I was over the moon but also petrified. Reactions to my line of work often varied but most people were very embarrassed or skeptical. I worried about how I’d address it in the actual interview.

I lived far to the north of their headquarters and drove almost two hours to get there. When I finally arrived it was in the nicest thrift store clothes I could find, but I shrank inside to see a room full of older white men in nice suits waiting to be interviewed for the same job.

Why did I bother? I was decades younger than anyone else in the room, shabbily dressed, and I suspected I was the only afab person in the entire building. I stewed in my insecurities until I was called in.

The second I met my interviewer I was instantly put at ease. The man had the energy of a therapy dog, he was abound with positive, good natured energy. He was also incredibly beautiful. I grinned back at his welcoming smile as we said our pleasantries. But still. This very beautiful polished man seemed very innocent. How would the sex shop question go?

“I see here you worked at STORE?”

“Yes,” I said hesitantly.

“And that was sales? Or you just rang people up.”

“No, it was sales. I’d help people find products, we were encouraged to upsell, there was sales spiffs, and most importantly we educated customers on products to help them find what they liked best.”

He grinned approvingly and asked, “Can you give me an example of a time you successfully upsold a customer?”

I paused, wringing my hands before I asked, “How vague would you like me to be…?”

“Not at all!” He assured me. “Go for it!”

“Well. A man came in looking for something to make his fingers vibrate so when he was touching his wife it would enhance that sensation. We had cheap $10 cockrings that I showed him first. But we had a rechargeable waterproof one made of nicer material, and after I showed him a demo he bought that one.”

“How much was that one?”

“$110”

“Wow! You had an upsell of 100% from what he came in looking for! That’s incredible!”

He was so truly genuinely stoked and not at all embarrassed that for the first time I saw a tiny glimmer of a future where I didn’t have ramen and peanut butter tiding me over between paychecks.

He asked me to wait then came back to tell me he liked me so much that he wanted to send me right into another interview, if that was okay. He didn’t want me to have to drive back later, it was terribly considerate and exciting. I beamed and told him it would be lovely.

I then had the second worst interview I’ve ever had. The worst goes to the time I applied to be a store manager for a pet food place years later. The district and store manager interviewing me passed notes and texted while I was speaking. When the district manager called to inform me I didn’t get the job I told him I’d never have accepted anyway because I’d never had such a disrespectful interview.

The new man sitting behind the desk radiated an aura of a brick wall. As someone with anxiety I’m highly keyed into the emotional states of people I’m talking to. To receive no feedback at all was my personal hell. After a perfunctory greeting he asked me with no inflection to sell him a pen.

I gathered the shreds of my courage and attempted the Herculean task he’d set me. Through my whole improvised spiel he resisted all attempts at engaging him, regarding me with a cold apathy as I touted the benefits of my fictitious pen.

Halfway through I broke into a cold sweat. My smile didn’t waver but it grew strained as I projected friendliness and warmth into the black hole of his heart. My thoughts scattered and my sales pitch grew redundant in the face of his nothingness. I finally concluded with a hard close and he simply nodded.

He glanced at my resume and commented, “You didn’t ask me to touch or hold it. Though I suppose I can understand from your previous line of work why you wouldn’t.” I shriveled and died inside knowing that I encouraged people to touch dildos all day long and had been too frazzled to offer him the pen.

He bid me a cool farewell. I made it to my car before I started sobbing. I had never been so rattled. I couldn’t understand what I’d done to make him so unfriendly or if my threadbare clothes were what had made him treat me like dirt. I drove an hour and a half to get home, weeping intermittently.

I was therefore taken by complete surprise to receive a call the next day inviting me on board for their five week training program. The first man who’d interviewed me gushed on the phone about how the second guy had loved me and that I was going to be fantastic.

I was in shock. When I showed up to training the second interviewer was charming my new classmates, beaming and laughing. He was an utterly different person. To my dismay I learned he was the trainer for my district and would be my point of contact if I made it through training.

He joked with me later that his interview facade was just a tactic to see how people held up under pressure and I filed him into a category of my deepest enmity. I never forgave him for how small he made me feel that day, but I never showed him the depths of my fury.

I aced every test and went on to be valedictorian of the eight people who had survived the rigorous training process to earn a sales position. When I got my first paycheck I bought myself new clothes, the first non-thrifted things I’d owned in years.