#100-101 Questions

[chatdomestique]

growing up gifted means having a 101 class grade and still being upset because you could’ve gotten a 105

[asmuchasidliketo]

Oh this is a nice one

See that percentage? That's the number of times, in all 404 votes (after my participation), the number of votes was inferior to 100.

Except when you bring that percentage to 404 votes, it gives you not 100, but 115.

Which means - while keeping in mind the misclicks - that 15 people saw a number of votes inferior to 100, while it was already over.

Which is explained by how many people follow OP, and how fast this post traveled.

(note: there is also the possibility that people misread "votes" for "notes")

Here's a fun one:

Does this poll have less than 100 votes right now?

[curiositysavesthecat]

*This poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. If you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post).

[catnippackets]

I have a question I need answered, please share your experience

[thegreatwicked]

This obviously needed its own post and here it is, a collection of blog posts and resources I have found and used for my own writing, I hope they help you too! Go forth and write that spice!

The Smut Writers Dictionary By @maybeeatspaghetti Seriously, how many different way are there to write cock? Does anyone else wonder if they've used the word 'lips' too many times? Well, this is a good place to start!

The Ultimate Guide to Writing Smut This is the first one I found and I go back to it frequently! There's also some great information about specific areas of sex that may not be common knowledge for first time writers!

How to Write Smut By @urfriendlywriter Another great source of information from different verbiage to use and a few tips to hel you along (giggity)

Smut Thesaurus By @prurientpuddlejumper just what it sounds like and you can never have too many words at your disposal.

6 Steps to Writing Better Sex By @chaoschaoswriting If you're at a loss or just want some more help this is antoher fantastic blog!

Writing Prompts NSFW By @seidenbros Need some dialogue? Or a story idea? Have a look!

#100 NSFW/Smut Dialogue Prompts By @a-cure-for-writers-block More? More. This is also a fantastic writing blog with lots to offer!

Intimate + Sexual Headcannon Questions By @petalsprompts Good questions to ask your characters to get to know them better and make more well rounded characters!

Smut & Mature (18+) Master List By @pendarling A great list dialogue prompts, scenarios, and helpful bits!

Poly NSFW Alphabet By @smaoineamhsalach Another great way to get to know your characters and maybe a handful of ideas for story ideas.

Kink Prompts Another from the previous blogger above and I didn't know what half of these are! I'll work on a kink dictionary next!

Writing Smut 101: Overcoming Smut Shame @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 There's a lot to be said for this particular subject! It's hard to write stuff like this, so how do you get over it? Start here!

How to Write a Kiss Scene By @youneedsomeprompts Yes!!! I still struggle with this one! There's a thousand ways to kiss, find your favorite!

Smut Oneliners By @deity-prompts you can never have enough one-liners!!

How to Write a (Great) Sex Scene Another great article for new smut writers

9 Tips for Writing Steamy Scenes More tips to help you wirte good steamy stuff!

How to Write Erotica and a Damn Fine Sex Scene A WEALTH if information on writing, structuring, and helpful tips!

@saradikahas a fantatic blog with graphics for you to use to add some fun to your posts. Things like MDNI Banners, 18+ Content Warnings, Support Your Favorite Writers and Reblog banners! They are free to use but she does ask that you reblog her stuff if you do! She's also a very talented writer and she writes some AMAZING Din Djarin stories!

Gay Sex Positions Guide This is a WONDERFUL adition and thank you so much @b7bubby for bringing this to my attention, I didn't have any resources for writing M/M fairings but this is a much needed addition to the spicy community! i've never written an M/M pairing and I feel like such an idiot for overlooking the need for a resource like this!

Writing the Perfect Kiss Scene provided by @writers-potiona fantastic little guide to writing better kisses!

If you find any other great smut writing resources feel free to tag me so I can add them to this list! Good luck with your writing! Now go write that story and LET THE SPICE FLOW!!!!

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[fading-event-608]

Hi!

It has been a month since I started updating Falastin's campaign to get her family out of Gaza. I first contacted her on 25th of August (and here's my first post with this same little olive tree) but she started the fundraiser in late June. Since then we've gathered 4,963$ total (or 50,210 SEK), and we are both thankful for every donation out of 255.

However, after this month her 24 family members are still in Gaza and they still need money - not just for evacuation for when the border opens, but for basically every necessity since the prices for everything are extremely high right now and they have no income. They also suffer from their tent getting flooded, and they need waterproof materials as well as more tents since half of them are still sleeping outside.

I talk to Falastin every day and share my updates with her - we both cheer on large donations and worry when there is no messages from her family. Her heart breaks every day and yet she is still fighting to give her family a chance for life; life without humming of the drones above, without starving every other day, without being displaced every two weeks, without sleeping on the street.

She already has lost a lot of people so please help her to achieve this dream by donating any amount you can and boosting this campaign further. We are very close to our next short-term goal of 5,500$! Keep in mind that the fundraiser is in SEK, and the rates are:

10$ = 101 SEK 25$ = 252 SEK 50$ = 505 SEK 100$ = 1,011 SEK

Additionally I provide commissions for any donation greater than 10$ - just provide proof in dms or ask a question first.

Her fundraiser was vetted by by el-shab-hussein on tumblr and she was swiftly added to the The Vetted Gaza Evacuation List with number 282. Additionally, recently she was assigned number 957 in the Butterfly Project spreadsheet.

I'm still drawing updates as you can see, but I'm going to draw an update every 500$ gathered going forward - it takes a lot of time and I don't have a lot of it. If it's your first time seeing my posts - this was the last one.

Shared with the permission of Falastin herself.

[ririblogsss]

Oh

(This idea has been done before butttt I still wanna explore it)

What if instead of the JL believing that phantom is a ghost they just believe he is a very much overpowered meta with stereotypical ghost powers.

like in this AU, Phantom would have successfully gotten in contact the JL and got the GIW shot down, the JL thinking that the GIW were making false claims about a different species so they could experiment on metahumans with unique abilities. The Fentons works are under extreme watch and everything they do / want to research is heavily reviewed. Phantom ended up joining the Young Justice league.

So because JL assumed that Dannys 'ghost form' was just to keep his ID from being reveled, as no one would look for his real ideantity and if they did they would look at people who have died. Batman thought it was a genius strategy.

But then one of his teammates (im thinking either RR of Superboy) mentions that in all this time phantom hasn't aged a single bit

(I'm thinking that his ghost look never aged since he died, basically forever 14 in that form)

And Dannys brutally honest like "Of course I don't age im dead" while rolling his eyes.

And everyone stops and takes a full look at him really analyzing him.

And his teammate just has the loading screen on their heads and they just say: oh I thought that you that-

And they can't even complete a sentence cause their baffled.

And Dannys shrugs like it isn't a big deal: Yeah I've said this before, lab accident I died but came back. Anyways I have paperwork to do royal duties u know.

And he just leaves everyone to have a mental crisis over someone they knew died at such a young age and that they came back only to protect people.

Meanwhile Batman's over in the corner inputting 100s of questions into google

'Is it legal to adopt the ghost of a child'

'Can someone call cps on a families ghost'

'how to take care of ghosts 101'

'what do ghosts like'

'ghost customs'

[corviiids]

hey

two questions

[questions-about-blorbos]

This request was sent to us and we made a poll in response to it. Send any Blorbo-related question you want to our inbox and we’ll make a poll on which people can vote with their own Blorbos in minds

[gimmick-blog-bracket]

OK. All the blogs in this special round 0 are under the cut. Every odd number is against the even below it. We'll see how tumblr feels about the bracket image this time, but I'm not posting it until this round 0 is over.

Due to not wanting to spam your feeds and also the tumblr post limit (there are 253 polls this round!), I will be spreading these out via the queue, posting 50 a day.

1: hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

2: flareon-fanart-collection

3: the-compressor

4: rat-detector-but-evil

5: cantheywinthehungergames

6: official-fluffy-posts

7: would-you-punt-them

8: dailyhomestarfacts

9: ominous-signs

10: rat-detector-24

11: throckmorton-the-skater

12: dailytricksterfox

13: identifying-dogs

14: disappointed-by-lack-of-soup

15: identifying-cat-phenotypes

16: the-real-yahoo-mail

17: alphabetcompletionist

18: guillotinema

19: bocchidaily2024

20: the-official-netherlands

21: makingyourfavesinwebfishing

22: rat-detector-detector-detector

23: yesornopolls

24: posts-i-saw-on-wikipedia

25: elvis-official

26: ebugsdotjpeg

27: crane-detector

28: word-problem-posting

29: onionpainter

30: rat-detector-fail

31: i-make-things-snakes

32: the-djavulsksilverhaj

33: onenicebugperday

34: funnier-when-objectum

35: things-that-are-weezer-blue

36: no-stupid-questions-official

37: i-identify-as-an-ominous-threat

38: mysticmagicrat

39: hot-take-tournament

40: rat-detector-8x

41: cantheykillmacbeth

42: is-this-shakespearean-accurate

43: bear-detector

44: inside-outtakes-daily

45: localairport

46: the-demonhaj

47: cat-spotted

48: suddenlyveryloud

49: probablybadrpgideas

50: your-fav-is-divorced

51: parentheses-posts

52: sans-in-heat

53: ifitwasediblewouldyoueatit

54: same-pic-of-the-blue-moon

55: mcmansionhell

56: dailykafka

57: ofishal-fish-posts

58: gimmick-spice-tolerance-bracket

59: really-fucked-up-stimboards

60: polishpriests

61: identifying-dinosaurs-in-posts

62: iloveants

63: gimmick-blog-bracket

64: the-actual-ocean

65: pointless-achievements

66: digital-slenderman

67: making-your-fave-in-fr

68: twopartposts

69: creatures-in-posts

70: not-a-trampoline-daily

71: echo-flower-from-undertale

72: e-counter

73: is-the-post-reliable

74: the-magentahaj

75: the-timeloop-tourney

76: friend-myth-kill

77: couldtransitionsaveher

78: smashorpassgilf

79: ginger-ale-official

80: is-this-fascism

81: official-boob-posts

82: los-camp-daily

83: yesterdays-xkcd

84: earth-updates-today

85: rat-detector

86: fuck-you-in-particular

87: making-you-in-ponytown

88: i-shelve-posts

89: haveyouatethisfruit

90: new-dinosaurs

91: cantheysurvive2001aspaceodyssey

92: stereosexuals-daily

93: does-this-require-cyanobacteria

94: rat-detector-333

95: mammalidentifier

96: is-your-post-grey

97: kittybroker

98: dilfs-dot-com

99: howoldisjimmycarter

100: pokemonbattletournament

101: reallybadblackoutpoems

102: unhelpfultarot

103: postsofbabel

104: the-offical-vine

105: drawing-you-as-a-critter

106: incorrectconspiracytheorist

107: arewebeholdingaman

108: the-official-chaldea

109: lowpolyanimals

110: the-real-will-wood-daily

111: i-want-tennis-ball

112: united-states-health-care

113: snailifier

114: locked-in-or-tweaking

115: the-purple-painter

116: the-actual-catacombs

117: rick-roller

118: identifying-spacecraft-in-posts

119: parappa-raps

120: inthetags

121: little-bitch-detector

122: elitegreet

123: blood-heritage-posts

124: words-that-could-be-jtoh-towers

125: scp-threats-is-back

126: ratdetectordetectordetectordet

127: fake-post-archive

128: ratdectector23

129: one-time-i-dreamt

130: could-they-win-a-holy-grail-war

131: shirtsthatgohard

132: rhinoceros-beetle-official

133: tf2heritageposts

134: pokemon-cards-hourly

135: everydayspamton

136: rat-detector-334

137: in-the-bible

138: fav-character-shroin-count

139: identifying-horses-in-posts

140: cactus-detector

141: peoplegettingkindamadatfood

142: spirit-phone-daily

143: official-mantis-shrimp-posts

144: rat-detector-236

145: whatcoloristhatcat

146: rat-eliminator

147: identifying-maille-weaves

148: the-lilahaj

149: things-that-are-not-true

150: ratdetector-x26

151: terriblerealestateagentphotos

152: in-case-i-die-daily

153: hellsite-proteins

154: good-pokemon-center-reviews

155: how-many-letters

156: characters-with-garlic-bread

157: same-picture-of-a-rock-every-day

158: costcopizzablog

159: shrimpradar

160: do-you-know-this-adhd-character

161: identifying-cars-in-posts

162: shakespearean-suffering

163: the-firey-painter

164: official-wasp-posts

165: identifying-birds

166: pale-fur-my-moirail

167: carbon-monoxide-detector

168: out-of-context-tbcu

169: sealsdaily

170: a-counter

171: counter-facts-i-just-made-up

172: linguistwho

173: validwarriorcatsnames

174: the-litenhaj

175: i-type-things

176: fr-winn-dixie

177: hellsite-hall-of-fame

178: official-hater-posts

179: miscellaneous-marios

180: content-free

181: eroticismofthemachinedetector

182: weeklycandacedrawings

183: asciicompletionist

184: the-rosahaj

185: my-hobby-is-finding-the-source

186: anarchist-chess

187: the-hex-project

188: would-you-eat-them

189: apolladay

190: hajtale

191: evilwizard

192: the-aftonsparv

193: i-give-worms

194: official-knight-posts

195: fluttershywheresheshouldntbe

196: pokemontheywouldhave

197: card-of-the-day

198: mtg-cards-hourly

199: writing-prompt-s

200: mcr5-thoughts-every-other-day

201: memes-to-show-the-past

202: ratdetectortheninth

203: can-they-lift-thors-hammer

204: rat-detectors-detector

205: is-jk-rowling-dead-yet

206: orca-detector

207: amphibianaday

208: jstor

209: dark-wil-wheaton

210: chicago-mentioned

211: critter-creature-or-beast

212: civilisation-updates

213: yeahokayillreblogthat

214: worldofultimategaming

215: maryland-officially

216: fecundinex-official

217: whoishotteranimepolls

218: towhee-enjoyer

219: official-linguistics-post

220: t-counter

221: text-inverter

222: blorbo-court

223: latinare

224: detector-rat

225: making-you-in-atlyss

226: the-turkoshaj

227: i-give-you-a-fish

228: videos-i-didnt-make

229: i-make-things-spheres

230: 1337sp34kr

231: amongus-text-detector

232: rat-detector-16

233: alonglistofbirds

234: half-fey-freak-of-nature

235: girl-detector

236: cursed-facebook-marketplace

237: mouse-spotted

238: accidental-will-wood-reference

239: dear-ao3

240: daily-pokemon-polls

241: googlyeyesonmagiccards

242: totally-france

243: baba-is-blog

244: neilcicierega-daily

245: rat-detector-detector

246: i-give-you-a-manul

247: xkcd-for-that

248: r-ominous-positivity

249: who-jumps-for-the-beef

250: ace-attorney-smash-or-pass

251: making-you-in-spore

252: binas-official

253: i-say-ok

254: rat-detector-redacted

255: couldtheycatchkira

256: connection-terminated-blog

257: identifying-typewriters-in-posts

258: ratdetector13

259: post-store

260: unitedstatesoffandom

261: booktomoviebrawl

262: same-picture-of-benson-every-day

263: bestanimal

264: poorly-identifying-cats-in-posts

265: secondbeatsongs

266: museum-place-of-guys

267: musical-posts

268: libraryofbabel-postlocator

269: todays-xkcd

270: the-gimmick-teachers

271: numberscompletionist

272: am-i-the-asshole-official

273: the-glitter-painter

274: mcr-reference

275: eggblackoutpoetry

276: shinypokemonshowdown

277: rating-shittysawtraps

278: fnaf-flags

279: translatingpostsinfrench

280: rat-detector-twelve

281: pressxtosetfree

282: the-blahaj

283: transit-fag

284: orange-content-rater

285: lichenaday

286: eatorfuck

287: i-identify-guns-in-posts

288: daily-kobold-facts

289: front-facing-pokemon

290: apple-counter

291: thoughts-of-eel

292: rat-detector-19x

293: official-crab-posts

294: its-target-official

295: making-you-in-roblox

296: the-purpurhaj

297: aita-blorbos

298: mcytblrconfessions

299: doyoulikethissong-poll

300: i-remove-color-from-posts

301: flametexting-posts

302: medici-official

303: dailyhatsune

304: litwtc-referrer

305: cat-identifier

306: the-rat-detector-couple-the-1st

307: dailyquests

308: posts-without-the-letter-e

309: the-magenta-painter

310: space-update-today

311: haveyouheardthisband

312: videogameaxolotls

313: i-make-things-into-faces

314: eial-daily

315: the-haiku-bot

316: rat-detector-84

317: ao3org

318: your-fave-as-a-fate-servant

319: would-they-survive

320: chess-rook

321: making-you-in-sticky-business

322: born-against-daily

323: catcrumb

324: birdcounter

325: wtf-scientific-papers

326: is-it-ranboos-birthday

327: herpsandbirds

328: reading-comp-wrong-answers

329: ryunumber

330: c-counter

331: randomitemdrop

332: squeakdreamsresort

333: gimmick-thief-thief

334: favevostagepoll

335: simplified-birds

336: nom-nom-counter

337: i-make-things-content-aware

338: cookieclickercookieeater

339: ca-dmv-bot

340: rat-detector-the-22nd

341: rotating-donuts-blog

342: duothelingo

343: couldtheybekira

344: etho-spotted

345: contextfreepatentart

346: svard-haj

347: fixing-bad-posts

348: starskids-twisted-daily

349: the-icy-painter

350: rat-detector-the-26th

351: jesus-holding-your-fave

352: goodpokeaniscreencaps

353: making-you-in-lps

354: finding-tv-girl

355: is-destiel-canon-yet

356: rat-detector-13

357: it-hurts-to-post

358: rat-detector-seven

359: aistobascistod

360: nether-have-i-ever

361: shit-hdb-would-say

362: objectum-culture-is

363: hitboxesonstockimages

364: black-parade-daily

365: howdotheyliketheirsteak

366: lemondemonlyrics-daily

367: its-wednesday-sparkle-on

368: king-of-the-gods-zeus

369: certifiednewyorkposts

370: jeweledmonstera

371: todaysbird

372: south-carolina-detector

373: the-disempunctuationer

374: scale-polls

375: theyshapedlikefriends

376: big-mayo-official

377: elementcattos

378: massachusetts-official

379: theshitpostcalligrapher

380: hawaii-part-ii-daily

381: fish-identifier

382: the-universe-devs

383: identifying-cars-in-art

384: snake-spotted

385: banjobebleping

386: rat-detector-the-21st

387: relevant-wikipedia-articles

388: noahbaumbachmaritalstatus

389: shark-detector

390: rat-detector36

391: gimmickblog-taxonomist

392: official-level-5

393: peeledpokemon

394: bad-time-analogies

395: bovineblogger

396: the-eldritch-skrackhaj

397: periodiccompletionist

398: soniclesbianflags

399: ohio-thestate

400: fakest-thickwoman

401: bible-word-counter

402: rat-detector-the-18th

403: gimmick-thief

404: colorpicked-flags-from-one-guy

405: three-dee-ess

406: salem-village-everyday

407: the-frightening-ghoul

408: cool-rocks-official

409: bugthingsdaily

410: how-much-yellow

411: is-it-out-of-touch-thursday

412: ditto-dex

413: todays-problematic-ship

414: how-many-purples

415: thefoilguy

416: your-fave-as-owl

417: whatsthebird

418: the-first-bank

419: accidental-homestuck

420: thingsthatcannotsaveyou

421: what-day-of-the-week

422: jamface-daily

423: househeritageposts

424: fictitious-grail-war

425: fox-detector

426: spine-gif

427: hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard

428: rat-dedecdor

429: worlds-worst-ships

430: marinememes

431: dyktvideogamesfx

432: best-u-of-feenis-program

433: official-olm-posts

434: frollosuggestions

435: lesserknowncryptids

436: random-askbox-shit

437: hands-you-a-spatula

438: alyrictoasongbythecranewives

439: transparentcatpngs

440: sideblog-with-everyone

441: the-reverser

442: rat-detector-72

443: charl0ttan

444: pokemonxniccage

445: is-deltarune-tomorrow

446: ratdetector-x11

447: official-cannibalism-posts

448: hituwithabat

449: magic-vending-machine

450: universal-posting

451: statistical-distr-of-polls

452: incorrect-guilty-gear

453: dog-spotted

454: cccc-reference-counter

455: can-they-assemble-ikea-furniture

456: moonpawmybeloved

457: dailypokemoncrochet

458: rat-detector-the-14th

459: post-uwuifier

460: incaseimakeit-daily

461: makingyourfavindti

462: willwoodoutofcontext

463: was-house-fruity

464: bozarotexts

465: textposttropes

466: i-add-ampersands-to-posts

467: free-post-store

468: rat-detector-rat-89

469: sat-a-day

470: willwooddaily

471: wouldyoudoitforaklondikebar

472: c-official

473: where-is-tom-scott-today

474: tfihwg-daily

475: littleguysdaily

476: rainworld-name-verifier

477: badjokesbyjeff

478: rat-detector-to-the-5th-power

479: identifying-planes-in-posts

480: guiltygearofficial

481: doyouknowthisdisabledcharacter

482: official-bee-posts

483: making-you-in-mc

484: rat-detector-thirteen

485: voiceclaim-polls

486: walmart-the-official

487: tf2-post-archive

488: olipopsoda

489: making-u-a-cube

490: rat-detector-15

491: identifying-guns-in-posts

492: dailyiiwheelship

493: postanagramgenerator

494: will-wood-referrer

495: punctuation-completionist

496: daily-vitamin-an

497: i-give-chess-pieces-to-people

498: left-handed-minecraft-mobs

499: colourpickingpride

500: eurovision-song-bracket

501: incognitopolls

502: self-proclaimed-brick-expert

503: shittysawtraps

504: self-ish-daily

505: i-give-olms-to-people

506: scromble

[certifiedsexed]

This is a Certified Sex ED Blog! My pronouns are he/it.

No, I am not a doctor or a therapist, nor do I have a certificate. Just training (unfinished due to disabilities) and experience.

Minors, DMs (I will rarely respond to those though, sorry!), asks and @'s are 100% welcome, just keep in mind I do not tolerate hate speech! Also, I have a No Stupid Questions Rule, ask whatever the fuck you want, no matter how obvious it seems.

(If your question is "genital specific" or you think it might be, please do not tell me you're "AFAB/AMAB" and assume that tells me your genitals. It does not!)

If I ever reblog anything that seems bigoted or by someone bigoted, feel free to let me know (with some explanation, please!)

For those who need them, some of my tags are:

#sex education <- all sex ed in general.

#sex tips <- tips specifically on having sex!

#asexual education <- education on asexuality!

#aromantic education <- education on aromantism!

#trans education <- education on trans-related things!

#intersex education <- education on intersex-related things!

#hormone education <- education on hormones/HRT

#sex work education <- education on sex work!

#kink education <- education on kink!

#consent 101 <- education on consent!

#disability education <- education on disability-specific sex ED!

(Fundraising is tagged #vetted)

[igotanidea]

Bedridden : Dick Grayson x reader

Aka: the one when Dick gets sick and makes it everyone's problem.

„What on earth are you doing!?”

“I’m – working out?”

“Why?” the question came out in some sort of crazy instinct, without her thinking much about it.

To tell the truth, under any other circumstances, seeing Dick shirtless, doing reps and circuits of exercises wouldn’t be shocking. Hell, it would be absolutely normal and almost – expected. Hell – she would just sit on the bench shamelessly watching him flexing his muscles and getting all hot and sweaty, waiting for the end of training to sneak into the shower with him.

But there was one little thing that made that day different.

He was fucking sick.

And not the I-got-99-degrees – I -am-fighting-for-my-life kind of sickness.

Real fucking sick.

Specifically put on bed rest by a real doctor, and not excused to go on another patrol during another night.

Y/N sighed heavily, knowing damn well that convincing her superhero-vigilante-shit boyfriend with the golden retriever attitude and savior complex would involve a lot of work, starting from explaining to him the meaning of word bed rest.

“Dick? Honey?”

“Hm? Yes? What-is-it – 99-100-101.”  Clearly talking to her was not as important as doing a few more level pull ups.

“Could you please spare me a second of your time?”

“Mhm- yeah-sure-just – a – few-more- 150-151-152.”

“Richard Grayson!”

“Y/N Y/L/N!”

“Could you please-“

“Love of my life, please understand that I absolutely have to keep in shape. If not for the beating-criminals’-asses than for you. You do like your boyfriend hot, don’t you?”

HE got her right into the trap, cause even if she said “no”, her eyes and face would reveal the truth.

“You do look hot and – “

“I know, thanks!” He grinned mischievously, jumping off the bar and reaching for the towel, wiping the sweat from his forehead.  

“- and ridiculous.”

“Ouch!” His expression turned from playful to painful.

“Don’t do this, Dick. Don’t play it down.”

“I’m not playing down anything, princess. I am absolutely fine. All ready to go. Now, do you want to take a shower with me?” he stepped closer, wrapping arms around her waist.

“No!” she tried to wriggle free, but obviously it was futile as the grip only got tighter. “Dick, you have to-“

“Shh.” He cut her off by pulling closer to his bare chest “Did I ever tell you about that one time I kicked down three goons with one broken arm?”

“Yes! At least ten times, but this is not a very good point of relevance in the case and – “

“I swear to you, I am absolutely healthy.” Dick stepped back and with zero effort did a backflip.

“Dick…” Y/N rubbed her forehead “stop showing off, for god’s sake…”

“I’m not showing off, babe! I’m showing out, actually.”

“That’s not even a word!”

“It is now.”

She was starting to get impatient, considering going as far and kicking his freshly healed bruise if it meant being able to put him into the bed and maybe tie to the bed frame, not for the reason she wanted, but definitely for the reason that was needed to prevent him from getting out.

“Listen, what do I have to do to make you get some rest?”

“Get rid of the entire crime in the city and place me in the reality where everything is full of sunshine and rainbows and people are safe.” He responded, without missing a beat, becoming serious.

How could one ever argue with such logic? It wasn’t like she didn’t have heart nor like she was blind to the situation of habitants, the violence and everything around it.  Feeling helpless more often than not, worrying about the state of the world and people in it.

“I swear to you, I am feeling absolutely fine.” One finger landed under her chin, lifting her eyes up on him. “I can do it, come on, you know I can do it. “

“I don’t like it…”

“I am very aware you don’t like it.”

“I hate how you can convince me to follow through your stupid ideas.”

“God-given gift.”

“This is not a God-given gift. It’s the effect of years of playing around and fooling everyone with those innocent blue eyes. Even Batman for god’s sake. What are you – no! – no! stop looking at me like that!

***

It was a surprisingly quiet night, one that doesn’t happen often and yet brings some sort of fear into the heart of people.

Almost as if expecting a calm before the storm.

And it made Gotham’s vigilantes far more careful and observant.

Only that they couldn’t possibly expect the hit that was coming for everyone.

“Achooo!”

***

“Y/N….” a weak voice, reminding her a little of Dick’s timbre, only more muffled and  stuffed.

“Dick? Dick, oh my god, what happened?!” In a second, she was on her feet, eyes running up and down his body, searching for cuts, bruises, bullet holes, bleeding and whatever other type of injury he might have had sustained during patrol.

“I think I’m sick…” He stuttered as if the runny nose, pale face and reddened eyes weren’t enough of a giveaway.

“huh! You think? Who would have guessed, right?”

“I don’t feel so well….” His shoulders sagged and anyone else might have fallen for the little exaggerated act.

“Is this the moment when I said I told you so?”

“You’re being mean. I’m suffering here.”

“You wouldn’t be suffering if-“

“I get it! I get it! You were right, I admit it, are you happy now? Can I just go and rest in peace?”

“No.”

“No? Y/N, come on-“

“I am not happy and you can’t just go and rest in peace, god damn your stupid choice of words. Do you really think I am enjoying seeing my boyfriend all mopey and miserable? I am not that heartless.”

“Does it mean, you’re going to make me a chicken soup?” he looked at her with begging eyes.

“Yeah, I’ll make you the chicken soup.”

“Thank you….”

“Now come on, let’s get you to bed.”

Dick was suddenly far less playful and teasing than usual, leaning on her as she guided him to the bedroom and helped get into the sheets, pulling covers up to his chin and brushing hair out of his forehead placing a little soft kiss on his burning skin.

***

“YYYYY/NNNNN!”

“I’m coming!”

“YYYYYYYY/NNNNN!”

“What is it?!” she busted through the bedroom door, madness in her eyes, half-expecting Dick to be suffocating or fevering with the life-threatening temperature.

“I can’t reach the water….”

“You can’t- you can’t what?”

She should have known better.

He was calling her from downstairs because it turned out to be impossible for him to reach for the glass standing about three inches from him.

Oh dear lord.

“Here.”

“Thank you…. You’re so good to me.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“The only one standing by me in the time of challenge…”

She rolled eyes, making her this-will-pass-I-just-have-to-be-patient face, observing him carefully. This was far more ironic considering the fact that merely a few hours earier he was all fine, ready to beat asses and bubbling with energy and now it was a life-threatening situation.

“And while you’re here, could you fix my pillows?”

“Sure, sure, I’ll fix your pillows.”

She leaned over him fluffing the cushions that were probably the fluffiest one on earth.

“Thank you…” he grabbed her hand, brushing fingers over hers in a tender gesture. Playing her like a doll, and leaving her absolutely helpless against it.

“Sure…”

“Is the soup ready? It smells really nice in the house…”

“I think a few more minutes and –“

“Please…?”

“Dick, seriously, I can’t feed you with half-boiled meat—”

“But I’m hungry… and cold and ….”

“You’ll get Salmonella!”

“I want a cookie….” He hummed putting on the most vulnerable, weak tone

“You want sweets? But sugar is not a sickness food. You need vitamins and – “

“I’m sick, Y/n! I’m suffering! I want a chocolate chip cookie!”

“Right. Maybe I’ll just put it inside your chicken broth?” she half-mocked, discreetly placing a palm on his forehead to check how bad the fever was, since it came close to raving.

“Could you do that?”

Holy shit…

“Yeah… yeah, right, I’ll be right back, ok? Just – just wait here, Dick. Don’t go anywhere, ok?”

Groaning internally, she swiftly moved out of the bedroom, closing the door and reaching for the phone.

“Alfred?”

“Miss Y/N? How nice to hear from you.”

“Alfred, I am in desperate need for your help-“

***

“Yyyyyy/nnnnnnn!”

“Oh for the love of-! I’m coming!”

“Yyyyyyyy/nnnnnnnn!”

“What is it now!?”

“Someone is at the door….”

“Ugh!”

It was getting worse by the minute. Now he was calling out to her, making her rush the stairs, only to find out it was about someone’s unexpected visit and knocking happening downstairs.

“I think you should open it-“

“You think?” the amount of strength she had to put into biting her tongue and not lashing her sarcasm and annoyance on that poor, suffering, self-absorbed, dramatic, soul. “You’re so smart.”

Dick grinned, not catching up on the bitterness of her words, clearly proud of himself.

The knocking repeated and Y/N was on the thin line of pouring all her bad emotions on whoever dared to add to her pile of problems with sick boyfriend but it turned out it was the only person who could actually be of help in this messed up situation.

“Alfred!”

“Good evening, miss Y/N.”

“Thank you for coming but why – “

“Because I’m aware of Master Dick martyrdom tendencies when his organism is working against him.”

“Right. Please tell me, you also have a few solutions, cause I think I’m about to pull Daenerys Targaryen on him….”

“You mean the one when she –“

“Yes. Yes, the exact one.”

“Now, we wouldn’t want that, would we?”

***

When they entered the bedroom together, Dick was on a zoom call with everyone he could reach on such short notice.

How he found strength to get a laptop from the desk, retrieve charger, plug in and start talking and talking and talking while it was too much to cover with a blanket earlier was forever to be a mystery.

“Guys! I’m sick! I’m on bed rest. And I am so lonely, deprived of the contact with-“

“Ahem!”

“Oh, it’s Y/N, everyone!” Dick turned the computer so she could see half of the Young Justice and at least three members of The Justice League on the screen. “Say hi, babe.”

“Um… hi…” she stuttered, because obviously it was normal to wave hands at Superman and Wonder Woman while being hardly accustomed to dealing with Batman on a regular basis. 

“He’s not alone, I swear I am taking care of him and – “ the justification was a poor attempt at making sure the heroes and heroines won’t be at their door in the next ten minutes, demanding explanation and babying Dick, by – for example – serving him chocolate chip chicken soup cookie.

“Oh, thank god, Alfred is here. Now, I’m saved. Thank you all for listening to me, I’ll reach out next time when –“

Click.

The laptop was shut, carefully but firmly, not by Y/N, but Alfred.

“Master Dick.”

“Alfred…” he hummed in a soft, quiet voice, the same way he used to do when being twelve. 

Hence, to sum up the whole dick-is-sick-and-making-it-everyone’s-problem situation, Y/N was left with one pro and one con.

 Pro: Alfred relieved her of her nurse duties, at least for a while.

Con: It was just a matter of time before she was about to be investigated and background-checked by at least a dozen of Dick’s super friends, making sure she was truly good enough for their golden boy.

As if her confidence wasn’t already suffering enough….

[ryemiffie]

More quotes from my day as justice league incorrect quotes!

Flash: What are you reading?

Batman: Jokes 101.

Flash: Oh yeah? How was Jokes 100?

Batman: I- What?

Flash: How was the 100th Joke book?

Batman: What?

Flash: Cause you're reading Jokes 101, how was Jokes 100?

Batman: I'm not reading Jokes 100??

Flash: No I know-

Batman: I don't understand the question.

Flash: Well because you're reading Jokes 101, and before Jokes 101 it would be Jokes 100, cause 100 comes before 101, so like-

Batman: Oh, I mean I think that's just the name of the book.

Flash: No- Yeah no I know that, it was just a joke-

Batman: Yeah it's Jokes 101.

Flash: No what I said- You know what? I'm just gonna go!

Batman: Okay??

Flash: Okay!

Flash, now leaving: I hate it here!

Batman, who 101% new what he was doing: Yeah you better.

[a-bad-case-of-the-stephs]

Let’s talk about Tim Drake’s failure to assert independence during and in the wake of Bruce Wayne: Murderer, and how it might explain why he lies to Stephanie Brown's face.

For Tim, Bruce Wayne: Murderer seems to mark a departure in how he thinks of himself as Robin.

Primarily, he seems to moves from the idea of Batman needs a Robin to the almost inverse, as he begins to posit the idea that Robin does not need Batman.

This concept starts appearing as a contrast to the way Dick Grayson's adamant belief in Batman manifests.

Gotham Knights #28 (2000)

Dick is unable to reckon with the idea of Batman’s guilt. And more than that, he says he can’t “continue serving a system” he doesn't have faith in. But what “system” is he talking about? They’re talking about a distrust in Batman. For Nightwing, the idea of a distrust in Batman is analogous to a distrust idea of vigilantism as a whole, as a “system”.

The innocence of Batman and the ability to be a vigilante are linked for him completely. He says that cannot and will not reckon with the possibility Bruce is guilty, doing so for him would be the same as doubting his entire life, doubting everything he has done as a vigilante. Dick's faith in Batman and his work as Nightwing, as a vigilante, are tied together completely.

And while Tim begins to oppose this idea via his doubt of Bruce in this issue, Tim's conception of Batman as wholly separate from Robin gets more emphasized through his epiphany moment in Robin #100.

Robin #100 & #101 (1993)

In this issue, Tim has reached a point where he is comfortable with the idea of being Robin without Batman. He is asserting that he has divorced his usage of the Robin mantle from Batman and his actions. If Bruce did kill Vesper, it doesn’t change Tim as Robin or what he does. He is able to continue on.

This is an uplifting sentiment, and it’s expressed in a beautiful way, through Tim’s musings after seeing a literal robin.

But it’s also extremely ironic.

In the very scene where Tim comes to this realization, staring at a real robin, a nearby stray cat not a moment later lunges, sending the robin flying away. In this way, Tim’s metaphor is dispelled. The “day/spring/robin” can be touched after all, can be chased away and changed.

And when Tim begins to assert to the cat, jokingly, that he “is Robin”, Tim is knocked out by Batman before he can even finish his sentence.

In this moment, the second that Robin asserts his independence from Batman, he is immediately proven wrong. Tim says the metaphorical robin cannot be changed by the night. But then, the cat attacks the robin, and it is no longer a analogous vehicle for his metaphor, it fails.

And then, Batman himself knocks out Tim. The actual Robin who tries to reassert control over his metaphor by scolding the cat and reaffirming his identity is immediately disrupted by Batman, who Tim just claimed had no power over him through his metaphor.

Tim asserts an independence, and then we see that concept immediately fail. Both on the metaphoric level of the actual robin, and on the literal level of Tim as Robin, the idea that Tim proclaims is undermined immediately.

The idea of Tim’s failure to assert independence from Bruce is not singular to Robin #100. The same idea is expressed in Robin #106.

Robin #106 marks the first one-on-one convo between Bruce and Tim once BW:Murderer/Fugitive has been resolved. Bruce’s name has been cleared, but the tension certainly has not.

As they drive together, Tim gets confronted head on with this. He is asked the same question which Tim had answered for himself in Robin #100: what would happen if Batman had killed Vesper?

Robin #106 (1993)

Tim’s answer in Robin #100 is that he would not be affected, that the actions of “the night/Batman” don’t affect his actions as Robin. An answer that we know is undermined moments later. So what does he say now?

He reasserts the conclusion he comes to in Robin #100: Robin can exist without Batman.

Notice how Tim uses “I guess” twice to preface his statements. His language is insecure and padded. He has to be goaded by Bruce to even continue, at first simply stating that he doesn’t know what he would do.

Additionally, alongside this dialogue, Tim’s internal narration is nervous and pleading. He says Robin has his own reasons to exist simultaneously as he frantically hopes his answer lives up to Bruce’s standards.

And as they continue the conversation, Tim’s assertion is further undermined. He gets nervous and frantically asserts that Bruce is “still the Boss!”

Robin #100 (1993)

And then, we learn that Tim was worrying throughout the conversation that he might be kicked off of the team.

Is that inconsistent? Didn’t Tim just say he’d be Robin even if he had to do so “by himself”?

Put simply, Tim Drake expresses a willingness to be Robin on his own, but that’s clearly not his preference.

He cares about staying on the team, he wants to stay on the team, even if he would keep being Robin on his own if he was kicked out.

And then, lastly, Tim himself recognizes that his proclamation had failed: what he was trying to say and what he said didn't line up the way he wanted.

While their conversation purports to show Tim asserting independence, it’s hedged over and over again, weakened conceptually.

By Tim’s hesitance, by his half hearted phrasing, by Tim’s pleading internal dialogue, by Tims frantic reassuring that Bruce is still his Boss, by Tim’s obvious fear he will be kicked off the team: the conversation where the focus is meant to be Tim’s reassertion that Robin is separate from Batman is sabotaged on every level, over and over.

It’s the same exact situation we see in Robin #100, repeated. Tim claims Robin is independent from Batman, only for the claim to be immediately and thoroughly undermined.

But, you may be asking, what does this have to do with Stephanie Brown? When did Tim lie to Steph?

Robin #106 is also the comic where Batman informs Tim that he plans to fire Stephanie as Spoiler.

In fact, Bruce informs Tim of this choice immediately after the conversation we just analyzed.

Something important happens in this moment: Tim is enraged, and importantly, he stays silent.

Robin #106 (1993)

He has to think to himself to not be respond, he has to remind himself not to jump out of the Batmobile. Tim clearly disagrees with Bruce’s choice to fire Steph, and he’s angry at Bruce for it.

But his anger is tied directly to his inaction. In every line of internal dialogue where we learn Tim’s frustration or disagreement, we also are shown Tim Drake’s suppression of that anger.

Tim, for some reason or another, pushes down his anger, and stays silent.

This moment is the key to the question I want to answer here: Why does Tim Drake lie to Steph about her getting fired?

Figuring out why he stays silent in this scene I believe will answer the question of why Tim maintains silence in not warning Steph that Bruce plans to fire her, and why Tim intentionally obfuscates the truth when she comes to him for advice.

Watch how Tim lies here:

Batman Family #2 (2002)

Tim knows that while Bruce certainly was holding everyone at arms length during BW: Murderer/Fugitive, that has since ended. Tim is let into the Batcave, Tim is having regular correspondence with Batman, Tim has gotten a return to normalcy.

Tim also knows that Steph is being singled out. Her radio silence is not the symptom of something affecting him or anyone else on the team at all. Her radio silence is because Batman is planning on firing her. Tim knows that she's going to be fired.

But TIm still reassures her not to worry about it. He tells her not to take it personally. Even though he knows that it is, in fact, personal.

Gotham Knights #37 (2000)

Once Steph finally finds out she has been fired Tim appears again to comfort her.

He hugs her. He sympathizes with her. And he, again, keeps up the pretense that he just found out Steph was going to be fired that day.

It’s a sweet moment, it really is. Tim’s “I know” is clearly genuine to me. I think he means it. I think he loves Steph. But he also let her find out like this. He also lied to her and kept her in the dark. That was a choice he made.

So, why did he do it?

Again, I think his choice to withhold when it comes to Stephanie being fired comes down to how he stays silent in Robin #106.

As we explored, Robin #106 is a continuation of the idea brought up in Robin #100. Both issues have Tim assert that Robin is independent from Batman, a huge departure for him. And then they both undermine and call into question Tim’s claim.

If Robin #106 represents the repeated failure of Tim’s claim to live up to reality, I think that explains why he stays silent here.

A Robin which is “unchanged” by the night, a Robin who made himself, who wasn’t “made by” anyone else, and a Robin who is a separate entity unaffected by the actions of Batman, the Robin that Tim describes in Robin #100, would voice his feelings and anger.

Tim Drake, sitting in the Batmobile, worrying he will be kicked off the team, still internally vying for Bruce’s approval and silencing his concerns, is not that Robin.

Whether he likes it or not, Tim is still (to a degree) reliant on Batman and his approval.

Tim is able to doubt Bruce and disagree with Bruce, but Tim cannot separate himself, or Robin, fully from Batman, despite his claims otherwise.

And with their relationship with one another so clearly still rocky in the wake of the distrust and anger they both experienced during BW:Murderer? It’s not surprising to me that Tim stays silent. Why risk jeopardizing the relationship he almost lost? Why risk potentially getting kicked off the team? Things are just finally returning to normal.

He can say he is independent from Batman, but his actions prove otherwise.

That’s why he stays silent in the car ride when Batman tells him he’s going to fire Steph, and that’s why he lies to Steph later.

It’s a trade: normalcy gets to be reestablished between Batman and Robin, and all Tim has to do is stay silent.

So, Tim stays silent. And when Steph comes to him, he lies to her. And when Steph falls apart, he comforts her because he loves her, but Tim’s relationship with Bruce is just going to have to take priority right now. Too bad. Sorry Steph.

[incognitopolls]

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