#Batman stuff!
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im trying to imagine if batman the animated series characters had social media- but specifically pertaining to the question: who would post thirst traps on insta or get caught being horny on main or smthn like that. i could sincerely see bruce wayne having a patrick bateman-like social media presence, but i feel like two face would too? for some reason? i feel like he would love the attention.
Oh Bruce and Harvey definitely have similar posts but Harv has those moments where he’s like - “kicking your grandma down the stairs, whatchu doin?” Posts where he then posts a picture of a box of raisins spilled on the floor. Random shit like that.
I feel like joker would post horny shit about Batman that everyone thinks is a gimmick until he says something majorly eyebrow raising and he has to pull out the, “you thought it was a joke???” He also posts those bad dad jokes and one really poor taste joke that no one actually thinks is funny.
Jervis would have a blog that everyone thinks is a misogynist page until they realize it’s just a kink side page and his main is an account of theatre posts and animals, reposts of like- baking channels and tea pages.
Harley, and Ivy have a couples page and their own page where they post about common signs of health, mental health issues, plant maintenance and where they’re going to see their favourite bands. But Ivy does chaotic story times with a straight face.
Clay face doesn’t have much of a social media prescience but when he does he says weird stuff or posts about the good old days of cinema, and pushes out like- three guys he thinks were stupid hot when they worked in silent films. Constantly has to post about allegations that he’s dating his manager and say they’re not true when they are
Scarface probably has a Facebook page where he posts very obvious mob activity, but people think it’s a joke until they find he’s been arrested.
I struggle with Mr. Freeze, but I imagine he makes really bittersweet posts about the time with Nora, followed by a bunch of reposts of motivational advice and baby care stuff. Then the occasional science video.
Crane makes very controversial science opinions and lives to troll several safety boards. He’s been blocked by half of them and has been warned against on several of their pages. Those that friend him are mailed a crow feather so he knows where they live so he has very few mutuals. Has a tumble account dedicated to pseudoscience and the frequent Elvira rant. Really sweet and offers actual advice to people who reach out in private to ask for help with their psychology work or diagnosis.
I know this is supposed to be a thirst trap thing but I feel like it’s devolved so I’ll just put in these next two
Penguin posts pictures of him and his wife on excellent dates, and is generally perveived well until someone (read: Edward) decides to insult one or call out his blatant abuse of power where he’s then met with several threads of how he’s so awful for abusing an old man… followed by an accidental admission to crime.
Edward mostly fact checks posts, and videos, offers help on game production and offers critique and beta testing. He runs at least two side blogs, one for how to protect your financial assets from big businesses (aided by Harvey) and one on the riddle of the day. When people get mad they harp on him and the then puts their approximate location in their inbox. He’s gone on one rant, ONCE in front of people about how Batman is stupid and got grilled but later was defended and brought back into popular public opinion. People frequently thirst over pictures of him when he was involved in projects or when he was in community theatre but he never indulges them, because he likes to keep them waiting. He’s made a couple of suggestive remarks his very small set of fangirls squeak over but only to stroke his own ego. Very short very blurred images of himself because he doesn’t know how to angle the camera and is almost always walking somewhere in his house to get a snack before walking around and talking with his hands.
His tumblr has multiple image boards of horror movies like reanimator or other science themes even though hes an engineering major. Which he reminds people of when they ask him about movie logic.
@virginstoner666
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hoodiemanic · 2 months ago
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AU where Tim dresses up as Ra's and the whole league thinks it's Ra's possessing him and by the time Ra's realises he hasn't seen anyone in days Tim already has the assassins on his payroll
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:)
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harveylikestoart · 3 months ago
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Why would you kill him like this…
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emotional-piece-of-meat · 7 months ago
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Duke spent all his childhood and most of his teenage years in a middle class family, so I like to think that he carried these habits into his rich life as well.
Example 1:
Duke: who the fuck is wasting our water? Do you know how expensive the bill will be next month?
Tim: Do you know that even if we had opened all the taps in the manor, Bruce would still have no problem paying for them for at least the next ninety years?
Duke, closing the faucet: yeah, what's your point?
Example 2:
Duke: It's literally a rip-off! Six dollars for a fucking yogourt?! Nah, let's go Cass, bet I can find an analog for three.
Cass, handing him the hundred dollar bill that Bruce gave them to buy two yogourts (he didn't know the price and just hoped that it was enough): ?
Duke, dragging her out of the store: It's a principle now, let's go.
Example 3:
Dick, accidentally dropping his phone: oopsie-
Duke, without thinking: of course, go on and break it. We are all billionaires here, aren't we?
Dick, pretty much confused: well, technically…
Duke: I see you, victim of capitalism.
He also constantly turns off the lights when someone leaves the room for more than 0,5 seconds, because it pisses him off.
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star-steph06 · 6 months ago
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Because I’m actually so stoked about the new Batman and Robin issue DR. WAYNE‼️‼️
I’m so happy about the possibility that Damian who comes from a place of violence and murder grows up to save people and not through violence as well but through medicine and empathy
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stephforl1fe · 25 days ago
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I need Dr. Damian Wayne except he’s literally just Dr. house. He’s constantly fed up with everyone’s bs and is popping advil like candies.
———
Tim: hey Damian, so great to see my FAVORITE brother ever!!
Damian done with ts: alright what’d you do this time?
Tim: *pulls cape back to show a gun wound* I was shot.
Damian: *sigh* why do I even try
———
Damian’s coworkers: so the patient is having sharp pains, fever, fatigue, and ulcers
One of the doctors: it could be-
Damian: if I hear you suggest lupus one more time I will hit you
———
Bruce: Damian what the hell are you doing?
Damian very obviously playing solitaire on his computer: hm? I’m working duh.
Bruce: I did not pay for ten years of med school for you to play solitaire
Damian: *side eyes bruce* you spend most your days dressed as a bat and solving jigsaw puzzles of cats
Bruce: touché.
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spacycatmeowx3 · 20 days ago
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When you thought you found a good fanfic but it’s just inc3st/p3d0phila/non-con/something weird
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(Also stop telling me to end my life because of this post before you get your feet tickled by the tickle monster)
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thebat-musicman · 10 months ago
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9 year old Dick: If you’re a friendless loser and you know it, clap your hands!
Bruce:
Dick: Clap. Your. Hands.
Bruce: *clap clap*
———
12 year old Jason: HEY YOU!
Jason: HEEEEEY YOU!
Jason: HEY! YOU!
Bruce: It’s not polite to not call people by their names, Robin.
Jason: Nice try, Hey You. I know my mentor’s name.
———
13 year old Tim: You see this coffee, Bruce?
Bruce: Thank you for making this for m-
Tim: This is my coffee. You are having water. Only people who don’t break mugger’s fingers get coffee.
———
Clark: Batman, your Robins are so polite. They must have been a joy to raise.
Bruce, through clenched teeth: Such a joy.
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varpusvaras · 10 months ago
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Bruce, for the record, is absolutely stoked when Jason brings Roy around.
Because this now means that he is a grandpa. He is so ready to be a grandpa. Let him be a grandpa. Please please please please-
(finally, he gets to just give things to someone. anything they want. (finally, he gets to give Jason so much money and things and Jason can't say no because they are for Lian too))
The thing is, now he is in a very deep and serious rivalry with Oliver, who will not be replaced as the number one grandpa. Absolutely not. So now they are waging war on each other for Lian's affections.
It's messy and it's bloody.
One day, during a JLA meeting, Green Arrow notices something peeking from underneath Batman's suit. It's colorful, so it stands starkly against the dark suit. It looks very familiar.
Green Arrow looks down on his hands. At the friendship bracelet Lian had made for him. He looks back up at Batman and the very familiar colorful thing he has on him.
"What is that?" He asks.
Batman turns to look at him. He follows Green Arrow's gaze, and looks at the colorful thing on him, and then at the bracelet on Green Arrow's wrist.
"What is that?" Batman asks, nodding at the bracelet.
"I asked you first."
"I asked you second."
Green Arrow glares at Batman.
"It's a friendship bracelet my granddaughter made for me", he says.
Batman glares at Green Arrow.
"And this is a friendship bracelet my granddaughter made for me", he says.
They glare at each other. The meeting room has become several degrees colder. No one dares to utter a word.
Then they both pull out their phones and make a call.
"Jason-"
"Roy-"
Jason and Roy, in their bed, both realising that their dad's are calling them at the same time: fuck whatever it is, we're going back to sleep
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skecherss · 28 days ago
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you know when little kids get spooked and they just start clamberin
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11thsense · 4 months ago
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The dead surround the living
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prlssprfctn · 5 months ago
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Bruce and Jason, who accidentally fix their relationship in a relative secret and distance from the rest of the family (Alfred excluded, of course), and decide to keep this fact as a secret from the rest of the family, just for fun. Because, let's be honest, Bruce is no less a brat than Jason is, he is just better at hiding it the older he gets.
Dick, sighing: Listen, I am about to invite Jason to this family dinner. And I don't care if you want it or not! And if you try to sabotage this day by your moral code lectures, I'll have a word with you! Bruce, indifferent, while messaging Jason at the same time: Mhm.
(On the other part of Manor) Tim: Honestly, I am not giving you a choice here. You will come to this dinner, Jason. Just... just ignore Bruce, alright? Jason, dramatically huffing, while liking Bruce's messages: Yeah, yeah, WHATEVER! Alfred: ...My circus. My monkey. I shall stay collected, nevertheless.
Damian: Father had been disappearing after patrols lately. I can't track him... What do we think is going on? Is he found himself a new child he plans to adopt soon? We can't get another sibling. Tim: Relax. He is probably into a new woman. Or a man. Whatever. Dick, worried: Guys, what if it is another villain or rogue? Jason, with whom Bruce spends time after patrol by munching fast food on the skirts of town: ...Lol Damian: That's not funny, Todd. Barbara, who knows everything: ...It is funny. Dick: Babs!
Tim: You know, Jason had been surprisingly chill lately. I knew he was doing better, but he stopped avoiding Manor that much. Bruce, arching his eyebrows: Alright? Tim: Do you think... maybe you two can finally talk? And fix your mess? Bruce, who just came to the cave after reading session with Jason, hiding his smile behind a sad face: I don't know, chump. It is complicated.
Dick, calling Jason randomly: Urgh, B is such a bitch! Jason, gasping: Right? Tell me about it! Bruce, sighing from his side of the couch as Jason puts The Crown show on his television: ...
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purpleangiie · 5 months ago
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Damian: "Grayson, what are you staring at?"
Dick: "Sh!"
Tim: "Leave him be, D. He's emotional."
Damian: "Over what?"
Dick, staring at the two quiet figures in front of them: "Would you believe that? Jason and Bruce existing in the same space and not throwing a tantrum, but actually behaving like two adults? They're even working together at the same desk. Unbelievable."
Damian: "Wait, has father just ruffled Todd's hair?"
Dick: "And he didn’t even punched him back! I'm so proud of how far they both have come. *sniff* Now we could all be one happy family."
Damiam: *looking absolutely bewildered, gazing up at Tim who just shrugs*
Tim: "Give them 15 minutes."
Damian: "12."
---
Jason: "Bruce. Bruce WHERE IS MY PEN?"
Bruce: "Y-your pen, Jason?"
Jason: "Oh my god. You don't even remember it. My pen, Bruce. My personalized red and golden Montblanc you gifted me for my 14th birthday. I left it here, where is it? You threw it away, didn't you? LIKE YOU DID WITH ANY REGARD YOU EVER HAD FOR ME AND MY FEELINGS? DID YOU FORGET I WAS YOUR SON TOO? WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR YOU TO LOVE ME?"
Dick: "Damn! We got so close."
Tim: "And that'd be 10 minutes and 35 seconds."
Damian: "-TT- Pay up, Drake."
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arttuff · 6 months ago
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intimidation failed
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neuro-psyche · 1 year ago
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I think Dick and Jason would have multiple “what the actual fuck are you saying right now” with Tim and Damian when it comes to quality of life/monetary differences. Sure, Dick and Jason got used to Bruce’s “is $100 a good enough tip on a $30 bill?” shit, but hearing Tim talking about a new laptop he bought for $5000 literally is like a punch in the gut.
If they ever went on a cruise (which they totally wouldn’t because cruises are floating death traps), Jason and Dick would be in awe of the fancy amenities, where as Damian would be unsatisfied with the quality, since he grew up with every single amenity known to man. Tim would just feel like it’s all normal since the Drake’s were extravagant and travelled all over the planet.
Jason : My bedroom is bigger than my fucking apartment.
Dick : I could do a full gymnastics routine with the space in my room.
Tim :
Dick :
Tim : My room is normal sized…
Jason : You grew up in a mega mansion. I hardly think you’re the benchmark of a normal room-
Damian : I must agree with Drake. This room is frankly underwhelming.
Dick, staring wildly at him : What do you mean underwhelming- Dames there’s an aquarium wall in your room.
Damian : Yes. Underwhelming.
Jason :
Dick :
Jason : Do you want to-
Dick : Jump off the boat? Yes.
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star-steph06 · 2 months ago
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Mermaid au!!! So I decided to go with a big portrait and perhaps individual later if people are interested. Tell me why this took 13+ hours 😭😭
Jason: a selkie because I thought the idea was cute
Damian: a betta fish, bred for fighting/aggressive and originated in Asia
Dick: flying fish ofc
Duke: whale shark because I love them and I thought it fit well
Tim: dolphin because they’re intelligent debated on him being octopus so maybe I’ll do something for the individual
Cass: iridescent thresher shark. One of the more nicer sharks because sharks don’t really attack people but they’re scared of them that stuff.
Steph a jelly fish!!! 🤭🤭
Anyway I hope y’all like it! Let me know if you guys want individual or other members like Babs and Bruce or Alfred. Also do you have another platform I should join to show my art?? Should I start posting on TikTok?
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