#Bruce is a terrible father

[smallandangry24]

I love the duality of Batman. There are so many flavors and all of them are fabulous. We have *drumroll*

Exhausted father figure ☕️☕️☕️

✨HIMBO✨ ditzy shenanigans Brucie Wayne

Emo feral racoon disaster man. An absolute wet cat but also THE saddest little meowmeow 🦝

Vague shadowy shape that defies the laws of physics but friendly??? Can hold snacks and robins????

C̷̡̡̨̢̛̳̲͓͔̖͈̙̫̙̭͙̮̠̳̻̥̮̺̻͇̦̩͍̰̠͙͖̠̅̈́̃͑̿̑̈́̇͌͐̓̾̎́̐̈́̉̒͘͜R̶̢̧̛̼̮̤̯̗̘̪̞̳̣̫͔̥̭̠̺̃̍̈͛̑̂̅͆̈́̒́ͅȲ̵̢̢̙̭̪̫̠̤͈͚͍͇̦̣̲̱̣̥̥̘̙̱̜̪̗̜̳̜̃͌̎͆̈͛͛̀͐̏̋̃̏̄͊̋̄̔̆̍́̏̿̉̌͑̂̚͘̕͜͝͝͠P̵̧̧̧̼̣̖̣̤͇̬̩̬̯̙͍̙̳̯͚̯̗̖̜̦͍̰͈̠̏̾ͅͅͅT̸̨̡̡̮̱̘̳̻͕͔̦̠̙͍̖͇̜̜̩̞͉̺̘͙͖̗̖̞̭̙͍̦̱̟̓̈́̔̈̀̋͗́̈͌̿̎͊̒̂͆͒̓̓̑̂̔̔̋͌̍̄͆̏͋͂̚͝ͅͅI̵̧̨̢̡̢̻̪̫͍͙͔͓̱̘̤̗͕̘̱̟̭͍͈̗̦̫̳̗͙͌̀͛̋̿̾̕͜͜͠D̵̨̧̢̨̢̢͍̯͚̤̟̦̳̦̱͙̲̩̻̖͍̘͍̠̻̯̼͌͛̀̀̈́̔̈͋͋̈́̈́̎͛̓̓̌̓̿̊̽̂̐̈͋͐͜͝ͅ

I mean, it’s one banana, Michael. What could it cost? Ten dollars?? 💅✨💵

T e e t h

Wants to fight Lex Luthor in the most petty passive aggressive way he can. Thinks he wants to fight Clark. Emotions are intense. Extreme focus. But emotions?? *nodding* Must be fight. What else would it be

Wine aunt. 🍷 would go out to rant with Harley solo or with whatever group she’s with (likely dear Pamela…though Diana is thoroughly confused when she happens to come the same day he does….up to interpretation as to whether it’s with the Bat or Bruce)

To be very clear, he has the same general disdain/ quasi-hatred for Hal Jordan in all of them.

[portgasdlesbian]

dc making bruce & oliver girldads... their best decision yet

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

The New Titans #55 (1989)

Batman (2010-) #641

…

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016-) #6

…

…

…

Batman and Red Hood (2011-) #20

…

Batman (2016-) #138

They sure do bAT&Tman. They sure as hell do.

Yet Jason never thought this way about you.

[elliehopaunt]

How is the guy who literally masoned a very much alive person into a wall still more likable than Logan?

[legendarygrayson]

sorry but the dudebros claiming dick (or any robin) shouldn't be in the batman 2 are so annoying. and loudly wrong. "he's too dark, he's not ready to take in a kid" YES!! bruce was NOT ready to take care of dick. he did NOT know what he was doing. he was unprepared and was trying his best and learned from dick how to raise his future kids and it's such a focal point of their relationship. that bruce learned from dick to be lighter and how to raise a kid. to me this is 1 way dick is eldest daughter coded

[jennrypan]

What Bruce did to Jason is shitty and fucking terrible.

I CANT ever think of Bruce as anything other than shitty when he comes to Jason.

Jason is the way he is BECAUSE OF BRUCE and at every fucking turn. Bruce proves why Jason should fucking KILL his stupid ass.

How are you gonna poison your fucking son and give him anxiety ??? (Also..DC keeps nerfing Jason, like literally why bring him back if you're gonna keep torturing him?? It doesn't make for a good plot. It just makes Bruce a piece of shit and not even interesting. He's just annoying.)

Like literally Bruce is a terrible fucking father and everything I learn about that bitch is against my will.

Jason deserves to shoot him in his knees, idc. He has EVERY RIGHT to hate Bruce atp cuz all Bruce does is fuck him up and then lecture HIM that it's his fault and goes on this stupid rant about 'you can't kill villains cuz blahblah save yourself' shut the fuck up. Just cuz YOURE a baby and can't do what needs to be done doesn't mean other people can't.

(Dick killed Joker and yet YOU bought him back 🙄 )

Bruce is a loser and all his kids and Alfred need to beat his ASS.

[wesavegotham]

I'm fully aware that it's not meant to be seen like this, but after the whole Zur fiasco I'm not sure if it's smart to go on a camping trip with your father, just you two, to the middle of nowhere and oh, please leave your gadgets and weapons at home, son.

[tarucore]

Honestly my “ideal” Bruce is someone who knows that he is abusive because he can recognize his own flaws, but he also makes no effort to change his behavior and instead lets that knowledge feed into his guilt complex

[mpjz03]

if batman were to kill anyone, it would be for his kids

[benbamboozled]

Always important to remember that Alfred Pennyworth is NOT the Designated Sane One of the Batfam.

(And poor Tim has to apologize to him lol.)

Source is Detective Comics #664

[doobydoobydoowau]

Tim Drake's robin run is NOT a regressive character choice by uninspired authors.

Dude has been a Dick Grayson Stan, first and foremost, since day 1. Did y'all forget how the guy became robin in the first place? Hello? Quadruple somersault ring any bells?

100% Timmy just didn't want to replace that absolutely iconic homage to his hero with a mangy old bat stencil.

AND AS HE SHOULD. That emblem is the most tired, bland thing I've ever seen. Where's the flavour? The pizzazz? I wish the stupid thing would just fly back down into that well and stay there I SWEAR

[jademight]

Also ‘Bruce Banner is one of the worst dads in Marvel’

I can assure you that he’s not 

[esfordays]

To my lovelies, on the side I’m working on a bunch of small fics. Last week of October, come into my asks, and give me a number 1-10.

(Warnings about the fics in the tags of this post so you guys know what you might be getting lol)

[jinjeriffic]

Young Justice x DP prompt

While roaming, Danielle runs into Young Justice. They think she's just a random meta runaway kid and she joins the team. The thing is, when Batman assembles a baseline medical file for her, he runs a DNA sample and discovers she's genetically his daughter. Bruce has a private meltdown about how he has a preteen daughter he never knew about who has been living on the streets for who knows how long and oh god every terrible thing that could have happened to her etc. etc. Once he gets a grip on himself he tries to do the whole "Ellie, I am your father" spiel with her. Ellie immediately transforms and Nopes the hell out before he even finishes the elevator pitch because she has TRAUMA about billionaires pretending to be her father using and abusing her, okay?

The Team eventually catches up to her and try to gently coax her into coming back with them. Only...

Ellie: This makes absolutely no sense! I'm a clone!

Robin: Uh...

Ellie: And unless Batman is secretly a teenage superhero from Bumfuck Nowhere, Illinois then there's no way he's my biological father!

Robin: *mental BSOD*

--------

Robin: So good news B, Ellie is not your secret lovechild you never knew about. The better news is you may be getting two kids for the price of one!

[alienzil]

Okay so I saw this post and you know the types of fics where adult Danny moves to Gotham and winds up emotionally adopting one or more of bat kids or accidentally coparenting with Bruce (with or without a relationship between them)? I had the thought, what if Danny parented the bat kids but he started doing it out of spite?

Like, Danny moves to Gotham and runs into Batman and Robin one night while out for a late night flight and drops down to the rooftop to say hi.

Bruce sees this 5'6" twink that looks like a stiff breeze could knock him over and is so obviously new in town and thinks Gotham is going to eat him alive, he needs to leave before he gets killed.

Batman: Looming menacingly and in his deepest scariest Batman voice, "Leave. Metas aren't allowed in Gotham."

Danny: Offend! Excuse?! Who does this guy think he is?! 😡 Danny was trying to be polite here! "First of all, I'm not a meta. Second of all, rude much?!"

Batman: Does scariest bat glare. "Leave." Swoops off into the night.

Robin (Damian): "My father is correct. You should leave the city for your own safety."

Danny sees this tiny vigilante child with fierce expression and a sword and is just like awww, so cute! 😍 Then he noticed Robin had a small cut on his arm and his inner gremlin activates. If the rude flying furry can't take care of his own kid properly, Danny will do it better!

He bandages up Damian's arm, gives him a cookie and teaches him a neat sword trick before sending him on his way with a hug telling him he needs his sleep.

Danny goes out of his way to run into the bat kids and be the absolute best dad.

He takes Nightwing flying and throws him in the air so Nightwing can do all the fanciest acrobatic tricks.

He tracks down Red Hood and starts a book club with him (Danny may or may not have used his connection with Ghost Writer to get ahold of some rare books).

He eats waffles with Spoiler and trys out weird topping combinations that make them both make faces and laugh.

He makes new gadgets for Red Robin but carefully breaks them just a little bit and takes them to the teen so they can fix them together (it's enrichment!). He always insists RR keep them as a reward.

He follows Signal around during the day invisibly, making faces and doing tricks only Signal can see (he made him laugh in front of the police at a crime scene twice!).

All of the kids get his attention and love and Danny smugly thinks how Batman must be absolutely seething about his kids bonding with Danny and Batman missing out on all of it.

Danny started it out of spite but he does wind up genuinely loving the bat kids.

Batman definetly hates it when the kids are bonding with Danny and is extremely jealous (sulky Batman brooding in his cave about it).

Bruce's repeated attempts to intimidate Danny into leaving Gotham don't work and him telling his kids to stay away from Danny had zero effect (the terrible children don't listen to him at all).

So Bruce starts spending more time with the kids to compete against Danny. The bat kids love it and (little gremlins that they are) use the two of them against each other constantly.

Bruce:"Sorry Tim, I can't make it to your photography exhibit this weekend, there's a meeting with the Justice League."

Tim:"Oh that's fine... I'll just ask Danny to come." 😏

Bruce: Narrows his eyes and grits his teeth, "Actually, the Justice League needs to have contingencies in place to manage without my input. This would be a good time to test their capabilities. I'll skip the meeting and come to your exhibit."

With both of them competing to spend more time with the kids it leads to the two of them spending time with each other to be around the kids more.

After Damian catches a terrible flu bug, Danny spends an entire weekend at the manor babying him. This is when Bruce finds out Danny has known their secret identities for months and tries to get mad about it but Alfred puts his foot down, raises a judgmental eyebrow in Bruce's direction that puts a stop to that nonsense and sets up Danny with his own room in the family wing.

Eventually, Danny gets to the point where he spends most of his nights at the manor and he and Bruce consult each other on all major household decisions.

The whole family is at the manor one morning including Danny. Bruce has a meeting at WE and he and Danny are absently discussing their plans for the day at the breakfast table.

Bruce: " The meeting should take most of the morning and then I have paperwork this afternoon and a scheduled walk through on one of the new engineering projects. I probably won't be done by the time school let's out. Can you pick up Damian today?"

Danny: "That shouldn't be a problem. Would you mind swinging by the bookstore on the way home and getting my preorder? Jay and I just finished rereading the first book and we were wanting to start the second tonight before you all go on patrol. I'd rather not try to make it to the bookstore in school rush hour traffic"

Bruce: "Sure."

Stephanie watches Danny reach out and absently straighten Bruce's tie as they both get up to leave. Bruce grabs Danny's coffee thermos and hands it to him while they walk out the door.

Stephanie: "Sooo, bets on how long until they realize they're basically married?"

[elsolaer]

cass does not know what a good father figure is and thats unfortunate