#Source: unknown

[altumvidetur]

Julian: So, what's your favorite hobby?

Garak: Stalking.

Julian:

Julian: I like darts and spy holonovels.

Garak: I know.

[skullmakesmelaugh]

Lockwood: Sorry it took so long to bail you out of jail

Flo: No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have used my phone call to prank call Steve Rotwell

[incorrect-alnst]

Mizi: Make no mistake. Not only am I party rocking, but I am also in the house tonight.

Ivan: But are you shuffling?

Mizi: Everyday.

Acorn: What language are you two speaking??

[incorrect-lackadaisy-cats]

Aunt Nina: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in this house.

Rocky: Is there any kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?

[incorrect-star-allies]

Daroach: *points at DMK* He runs a pharmacy without the P.

Dark Meta Knight: I crave violence.

[incorrect-fnaf-quotes]

Michael: So, I'm watching the animatronics put on the first show of the day, when one ends up saying: "Before we begin, I want to make sure that this mic works. If your name is Michael, please stand up." Michael: I stand up, and I notice a couple of guests doing the same, right? Michael: And then the animatronic goes: "That concludes the Mike check."

[i-expect-you-to-quote]

HANDLER: You know, agent — you're the only person I know who can make silence sarcastic.

[holy-incorrectquotes-batman]

Bruce, walking into the Batcave: Why does it look like a tornado came through here? Jason: You know that trick people play on dogs? That one when you pretend to throw a ball but actually keep it in your hand and watch as the dog chases after nothing? Bruce: Yeah? Jason: Steph did that to Dick.

[incorrecttwsted]

[devilishvalentine]

Y/N: Sit down, i'm gonna torture you now

Jason, smirking: Kinky.

Y/N: I think you're sweet and beautiful.

Jason: What—

Y/N: You deserve to be cared for.

Jason: Stop, now—

Y/N: Your feelings are valid and deserve to be heard.

Jason: I NEED A SAFE WORD!!!

[chaoticaesthetician]

abnormally large trees please lend me some of your centuries worth of wisdom

[livsoulsecrets]

Dick: Bruce just insisted Tim and I remember a code word in case we’re ever confronted by his clone or a cyborg doppelgänger and we’re not sure which is the real him and which is the imposter.

Dick: Some families have a fire escape plan, but not us.

[skullmakesmelaugh]

Lockwood: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Holly made me get tested

[percabethconvos]

Annabeth: What's the most polite way to phrase "you fucked up big time and need to fix this now or else" in a professional email?

Percy: "Hello, I hope this email finds you before I do"

[whendidmythoughtsgocrazy]

Don’t let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces.

k.b. // unknown

[incorrect-star-allies]

Dark Meta Knight: Keep talking and I’ll turn your spine into a fucking slinky.

The squad:

Dedede: God damn.