#Tim: I have absolutely no idea

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Bruce, not ready to wake up: Just five more…

Tim, bored, irritated, and sensing an opportunity to sow the seeds of chaos:

Tim: *races into the kitchen*

Tim: You guys will never believe what Bruce just said!

Damian: Well?

Duke: What did he say?

Steph: You can’t leave us hanging like that.

Tim: He said five MORE.

*collective gasp*

Steph: I had better not be one of those five.

Damian: Why does Father get to adopt five more children and I can not adopt five more cats? Cats are much easier to care for than people.

Tim, shrugging: I’m sure he’d be fine with it.

[deadsetobsessions]

Danny stared at his nemesis, slowing his walk to a complete stop.

“Don’t,” he pleaded.

The devil incarnate glared back at him, somehow conveying its disdain, disinterest, and malicious intent in one cold stare.

“I swear to Ancients-!”

Mr. Muffins, Jazz’s college cat, meowed loudly and slapped the glass off of the counter.

“No!” Danny dove at the glass, skidding across the tile just in time to catch Jazz’ favorite cup as tipped over and plummeted towards the cold hard floor. “Oh my- you little devil! Mr. Muffins, you little shit!”

Mr. Muffins flicked a tail and sat down calmly as Danny sprung back up to place the cup into the sink.

“You stinky bastard, Jazz would have killed me!”

Danny picked the cat up and held him by the armpits, dangling the cat. Mr. Muffins, no longer simply disdainful, meowed loudly and tried to wiggle away.

“Listen, here, Mr. Muffins- ah! No, you’re not allowed to run away! You have to take responsibility for your actions,” Danny slipped into Ghost Speak as he lectured Mr. Muffins, a rather harried look smushed across his face. He didn’t hear the door open, but he did hear Jazz call out to him.

“Danny, stop bullying Mr. Muffins!”

“Maybe if you parented Mr. Muffins right, he wouldn’t be trying to knock your favorite cup all over the place! If it weren’t for me,” Danny swayed Mr. Muffins, who had become docile as he caught sight of Jazz, like a fluffy and long pendulum. “Your cup would be pieces all over the floor right now!”

Jazz tossed her keys onto the table. “Right… and that definitely didn’t have anything to do with you putting your cup too close to the edge like I told you not to?”

Danny stared at her, mouth gaping in offense. Alright, so it did have to do with that, but it was offensive how fast she came to that conclusion. Danny said as much to Jazz, who smirked and plucked her cat from his grip.

“Have you considered that you’re easily predictable, dork?” Jazz cuddled Mr. Muffins, who was purring up a storm, and walked towards her room.

“Rude! Are you calling me basic?”

“If the shoes fit, Danny-O!” Jazz hollered back. Mr. Muffins mewed as if to punctuate her sentence.

“I hate that cat,” Danny grumbled, grinning fondly. “Now that you’re back, I’m gonna go visit Tim and Tucker! They’re over at Tucker’s for a project!”

“Kay!” Jazz yelled back. “Don’t run into to much trouble and be back before three A.M.!”

“Yes, mother!” Danny put on his shoes and started walking.

——

Danny, along with a handful of dumbstruck civilians, stared down at the unconscious clown. Then, they stared at Danny’s hand in shock and awe. Danny too, stared at his own hand, but in abject betrayal.

“Shit. Jazz is gonna kill me.” He mumbled, pulling out his phone.

“Hey, Tucker. Yeah, sorry, I’m gonna be late.” Danny paused, glancing back down at the clown, up at the still shocked goons, and sighed. “I- uh, knocked out the Joker by accident. Maybe broke his nose.”

Danny heard Tim’s muffled “WHAT?!” and silently concurred because what? He thought villains in Gotham were made of sturdier stuff?!

“Can you tell Jazz? I gotta,” Danny held up the phone, so it could pick up the loud sirens approaching his position. “Deal with the cops.”

Danny pouted as Tucker laughed at him.

[starry-storms]

EDIT: I shouldn't have to say this, but I do: be nice when you reblog, please. This poll is supposed to be fun.

[ijustthinkhesneat]

I’m an Alfred/Martha/Thomas truther. Like Alfred is a baddie in his 80s you all know he must have been a slice back in the day. And it is canon Martha and Thomas were smoke shows.

Like let hot people get it. Let hot men kiss while their wife turns mobsters kneecaps into flour with a baseball bat.

[its-your-mind]

guys guys guys

I have done some personal soul searching and I know why jonathan jarchivist sims made the professional decisions he made when he was a Newly Minted Head Archivist

He tried to apply logic to the managerial decisions of a megalomaniac kind-of-immortal servant of a fear god, who was at the time posing as a Respectable Director of an Academic Institution

like listen. clearly jonah did not give a single flying fuck whether or not the archive was organized. all he wanted was for jon to nom on some statements and get soul-tattooed by nightmare-fuel until he was good and traumatized enough to read like… a couple dozen words that would end the world.

But jon doesn’t know that! So he’s a researcher at this academic institution, and he receives a promotion out of nowhere into a completely different department. Obviously, he thinks, elias knows what he’s doing - he wouldn’t be in charge if he didn’t.

So now jon’s trying to reverse engineer the logic, because there must be logic and he’s not going to question the head of the institute. Like, you look at me and tell me you think S1 jonathan sims, wearing his armor of Prickly Academic, is going to admit that he has no idea what he’s doing to the person who has just promoted him. Definitely not.

So why, jonathan sims asks himself, would elias bouchard promote someone from the research department into this position? Obviously he feels that, along with reorganizing the archive, it’s necessary to go back and research all the statements down there!

And then jon poked that theory a bit by asking for tim and sasha to be transferred with him, and elias gave him the green light! So now you’ve got three researchers, and elias throws in one librarian assistant (who has a lot of experience, but not the background needed to guide the whole team), and so jon assumes that the job of the archive is proportionate: 3/4 research, 1/4 cataloguing, with the department guided by the researchers.

I’m gonna go ahead and assume that the only concrete direction jon was given was to “create audio recordings of the statements.” And thus, we have an archive that spends most of its time on research, creates borderline-impossible-to-reference audio recordings, and then catalogues almost as an afterthought.

[oifaaa]

lmao sorry to keep this going but. tim absolutely had it the easiest of the bat kids, not even a discussion. he had a cushy, priviledged life with parents that actually cared about him, and fanon going uwu poor sad little rich boy so so so neglected and abused... GIRL?!?! cass got the shit kicked out of her till she became the best fighter in the world, and she was homeless for nearly a decade after that and yet often feels like shes the one comforting tim ("""little brother uwu""")

I get you I think it is just frustrating when people try so hard to give Tim the back story Cass already has and then processeds to either not include cass completely or just make her a bland cardboard cutout of a character that's only job in any story is to support which ever male white lead is currently crying

[thespaceyace]

Psssst Larryboy fans hi hello may I propose these to you all

OG cast models are done time for the cartoon adventures ahahahah mental illness

[nari-writes]

Blogging (and other dangerous activities likely to get you adopted by the Batman)

Inspired by Latchkey by goldkirk

Tim wakes up to Batman in his room.

It- well, it's not fair to say it's a surprise, but seeing the looming figure in his window does make his heart seize. Even after the time Tim's spent watching him with the Robins, it's still nerve-wracking to have Gotham's nightmare show up. Especially since Batman does little to dissuade the notion that he's here on genial business.

Maybe Bruce has figured out he knows and is going to silence him. Maybe this isn't actually Batman, but Man-bat, and Tim's about to be twelve-year-old bat jerky. Maybe-

His parents are home this week though, so if he really wanted he could probably scream and get himself some thinking time; but as he takes a breath to decide what to do, Batman puts a gloved hand over his mouth.

And, ugh. It smells kinda gross. Like leather and motorcycle fumes. Probably the right Batman, but also. Super gross? Why does he smell so bad? When did he last rinse his gloves?

“You've been blogging.” Batman says, which isn't a question but is a very unhelpful non-sequitur.

“Mmrnhm?” Tim says, largely unintelligible but not entirely intending words.

What the shit. Batman's only here because of the blog?

Also, unfair. He'd had to jump through so many hoops to spoof his IP and make his own VPN and switch which library he posted from, and Batman still found him? This sucks.

“Don't scream,” Batman says, and Tim nods. Batman pulls his hand away slowly, potentially having expected Tim to lie, but Tim's not stupid. Batman doesn't have to do this nicely, even if he is a kid, and Tim also knows that if he did scream, Batman would either a) be prepared and gag him again or b) vanish, and then Tim would be in trouble with his parents. Either option sucks, so he'd rather opt for the one that lets him keep taking in the details of Batman's suit. It's hard in the dark, but still way easier than through his camera.

“It could've been my parents,” Tim says, when it seems Batman's waiting for him to answer his earlier not-question. Batman hums, and Tim wiggles back so he's against the headboard. “Yeah, I figured you'd already researched their flight times. Have to try though, right?”

“The blog. Why?”

“It's-” he starts, because there's so many reasons and he doesn't actually know which one Batman wants. Or, actually, would like the least? Probably 'I wanted to see you in action' would land with the grace of a sleep-deprived Jason Todd, but 'I was lonely' may be worse. 'I didn't expect it to blow up?' may be okay, but in the end he hesitantly settles with: “I just think that- seeing you, being- human? Or, showing you have humanity- was important.”

“Did you ever think that I wouldn't want that?” Batman asks, and Tim shifts awkwardly.

“I mean. Yes? But also, the way people- talk about you and the Robins. It sucks.”

Batman's mouth looks very displeased.

“It just, it shows that you're human!”

“How do you know?” Batman asks, and he actually kinda sounds like Bruce Wayne now, like this is a joke he's used before, and Tim thinks through what he'd been about to say very quickly and shuts his mouth with a snap. Ow. Now his teeth hurt.

Batman, on the other hand, does something to his cowl that makes him look like he's very slowly raising his eyebrow. Is it weird to think he looks tense, looks more threatening now, even though he'd literally just been looming with the promise of violence? Tim swallows hard.

“I don't?” he offers, his voice breaking, and he literally doesn't think he's ever been more humiliated by puberty. “I mean, I don't! Know you're human, that is. You could definitely be an alien if you wanted. Or a spirit of revenge, or-” Tim flops backward on his bed and pulls his blanket over his head. “I shouldn't be so bad at this,” he mumbles, and doesn't think about he's definitely going to die because Batman's suspicious and Tim's an idiot when he's tired.

Batman is damningly silent, but when Tim finally, hesitantly, peeks his eyes out from the hem of his blanket, the Dark Knight is still standing in his room. Actually, he's half-hunched over Tim's desk, looking at the corkboard of Tim's photos and reminders. He reaches out, and Tim's heart thuds. “Oh, please don't!” he says instinctively when Batman grazes Tim's camera. Batman stops and tilts his head over his shoulder to look, and Tim swallows down the anxiety clogging his throat. “Please don't take my camera. I can get another one but I- that one was-”

“Stop taking photos of us.” Batman says, short and to the point.

“Stop posting them to the blog?” Tim offers, and this makes Batman turn around properly, looking at him head-on again. He's judging Tim, now, and Tim wonders what part of him will be found wanting. In Batman's eyes is Tim's wealth a precursor to change or stagnation? Does he think Tim should be doing more with his life? Or does he simply expect that this is a rich kid's hobby, no sentimentality involved? Bruce Wayne took his billions and made himself a hero and Tim knows he can't do the same, considering his parents are in charge of the Drake fortune, but there's probably a million other things he could be doing that don't involve stalking superheroes.

“You're a child,” Batman says slowly, and his voice has lost the harder overture that's affected his speech so far. “When Batman is out, it is late, and dark, and dangerous. You are a child and shouldn't be anywhere near-”

“I don't go close!” Tim protests, “I'm not stupid!”

“There are always people in Gotham. What does it matter if you're not in the area of the most danger when you're still in danger?”

“I'm not stupid,” Tim protests with a hiss that contains more vitriol than it really should, considering his conversation partner, but he can't help it. “If you never saw me how'd you think anyone else could?”

“How do you know I never saw you?” Batman asks, like a challenge, and Tim scoffs.

“Come on, you think I don't know that if you saw me out there, you'd have me thrown in the back of the Batmobile and at the closest precinct before I could blink? Jason almost-” Tim freezes, then quickly blurts, “-before he took your tires, and got adopted by Bruce Wayne, Jason tried to do the same thing whenever he saw me. I know what I look like, to people in Crime Alley.”

Shoot, shoot, shoot, this is actively a terrible lie; Batman only needs to ask Jason when he met Tim and the whole thing would be blown. And, also, name-dropping a specific kid, like Batman would remember who stole his tires? The connection is tenuous at best and damning at worst.

“You've been taking photographs of us since you were eight?” Batman asks, sounding horrified, and Tim winces internally. Please forgive me, Robin, he whispers in the back of his mind, and then says with all the glib disdain he can muster:

“Well, you let Robin go out when he was barely older than me. It's the same thing.”

He has never seen Batman do a full-body wince before. He's not entirely sure he could get Batman to do it again, and wonders if he should add it to his board of accomplishments. He’d have to encode it if he did, even if the board’s mostly for his own reference, but imagining it pinned up next to his photography awards is making him feel a bit hysterical. Then again, that could also be the fact that Batman is still in his room and Tim is lying.

“He was not eight-”

“I just think that unless the same orders get applied to him I think you're being a bit of a hypocrite. He’s actively in more danger than I am, considering he ends up in grabbing range of Rouges and I don’t.”

“I will be telling your parents,” Batman growls, and this time Tim smirks.

“Yeah? And how do you think that's going to go for you?” Tim can almost exactly imagine it: there's no way his parents will believe Batman, because it's crazy and they'd be freaking out over Batman in their house, and if he does it as Bruce Wayne it'd be a crazy coincidence for Tim Drake, known genius, to have access to. If Tim hadn't already solved their identities, that connection alone would probably tip him off.

Well, maybe Batman wouldn't think about the potential implications - academic strengths don't always translate to detective-solving skills, and it's just Batman's misfortune that in Tim's case it's a little bit the other way around. Detective skills that he's carefully and stubbornly honed have led him to a dogged dedication to his studies.

“Robin is a trained professional,” Batman says, and Tim volleys back with,

“Yeah and I'm not doing the same thing he is at all, so my standards can be different.”

“Tim Drake,” Batman says, this time actively growling his name, and Tim doesn’t know if he should cackle or wince. For one thing, he’s pretty sure Batman has lost this verbal volley, which is why he’s pulling out the doom and darkness voice.

On the other, this is the voice he uses on men triple Tim’s size and with twice the bravery (and crazy), and having the full force of it directed at him makes his stomach drop. He clutches his blankets, fabric pulled tight, and tries to pretend his hands aren’t shaking.

“The blog is being removed - do not start it again. I will not see you on Gotham’s streets again during my patrol.”

The lens of his mask are so narrow that the white is barely visible. He holds Tim’s gaze, like he’s imparting the orders, like he’s checking to see Tim’s fear will keep him obedient, and then nods slowly. The cape swishes behind him as he puts Tim’s camera back on the desk, and then he’s leaving. Leaving, and Tim’s secrets are safe and he is unharmed and undeterred.

“You won’t,” Tim whispers as Batman slips out his window and into the dark.

[summerfrwrks]

jason to steph, with zero hesitation despite tim being beside him and is aware that they used to date:

[scintillyyy]

there is probably an entire essay i could write about how 'chuck dixon hates poor people' is very true but is a lot more nuanced in that 'chuck dixon hates poor people, but no, not those type of poor people, he thinks they deserve a helping hand actually' and 'don't mistake what's actually racism & sexism for what seems to be classism, because again, he doesn't hate that type of poor person, actually' & 'in order to understand this mindset of his you also need to understand 90s conservativism & how he can support some poor people and not others and how he can be inherently contradictory like that, the eras in which he grew up and shaped his worldview' & 'this mindset of his is so baked into the characters of tim and steph in different ways & while tim's is more overt and easy to see, it's also a little easier to divorce from his character because it's so overt and in your face, but steph's story is a lot more insidiously conservative and everything about his conservative mindset & conservativeness of her story is far more inherent and so baked into every formative and key aspect of her character it's actually harder to do with steph without completely changing her as a character'

[hailsatanacab]

I LIED!! MEMES ARE TODAY >:D

wow a lot of these are about jason lol

now to actually go to sleep, it's much too late for me to be up ily bye!!

MEMES ARE TODAY PEOPLE 🚨🙏🥳🎊🎉🙌

for chapter 9 of cetbwa

[lemonlimestar]

the thing is i had this whole mystery story surrounding the rewrite of “sum of our parts” (tim’s ‘coming out’ in batman: urban legends) recontextualized within a post-crisis timeline and it was going to include the general lineup from the comic (i.e. steph, and kon) but given more narrative importance + adding in mirrored stories with cass and steph for added substance which tied in some things from convergence batgirl.

HOWEVER i had mr. dowd in a villain role (not of his own violation it was a possession thing) for added interest where i feel like the plot kinda fell short? as in actual bite in the whole cult of dionysus narrative. and admittedly i’m not terribly interested in his character. but after seeing the general consensus of people who like this guy, and by extension t/mber, i feel like i want to dial that back 1000% and just focus on the mystery of how weird nysa is and what led up to tim, cass, steph,and kon ending up there. TLDR: unsure if a more interesting narrative in my eyes is not worth getting any kind of discourse about. bro i got anxiety.

[starlooove]

No bc fuck tim but it really really bothers me how people ignore his growth like he used to be an asshole and I’ll give tim Stans one thing: now he’s so so so stale but what I disagree with is that this staleness is bc nobody likes him like it’s in fact the exact opposite where everyone likes him so much they dont want to do anything. Even when it’s him surface level challenging Bruce it’s when everyone else is doing it too; but he’s still the backbone of the fam! Etc. and it’s so irritating bc him gaining more compassion and empathy even for people he doesn’t fw is so fun to watch and that’s why the captain boomerang thing was so out of character! (Not in a from the author way but in a tim wouldn’t do that and he and Bruce both knew it which is why it went down like it did. Same way dick killing joker was ooc; not in fanon sense but in a he would hate himself forever for this sense) and speaking of that it’s such an interesting mirror to Bruce who genuinely believes that everyone can grow vs Tim’s it doesn’t matter if they grow it’s not my decision to make like it’s the same but it’s not AND WITH CASS’ IT DOESNT MATTER IF THEY CHOOSE NOT TO GROW I WONT DO IT! like ugh. And anyways even when people acknowledge it they boil it down to “Janet and Jack taught him that the capitalist pigs that they are” like no. This is who tim was. Tim was the kind of guy who’d blame a dead kid for dying. That’s ok. Also Janet and Jack? Please reread anything involving them that’s not a fic like Jack had anger issues and they were both aloof at worst like relax.

[misspickman]

Trying to put kon in high school is soo funny bc he was clearly an adult in yj2019 + he, cassie and tim are roughly the same ages -> cassie was in college in yj19 -> tim was meant to go to college/his bf who is his age is in college

[mzminola]

Thanks to the animated adaptations of Under the Red Hood using the greenless Robin uniform that Tim wears in the animated series and post-Kon’s-death in the Preboot era comics, my brain parsed the first image in this set not as Bruce and Jason, but as Dick and Tim.

Which is. Very ouch.

[introspectivememories]

More about your last post I wanna know on how everyone reacts to eachother like imagine your friend finally is out of a pain cult that you had to sit around and watch as it literally ruins them but they had to be sacrifice and your local hero’s had to step to help them and then all of sudden when you go to the hospital you see TIM DRAKE straggling to fill out the most simplest questions

“TIM DRAKE!?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???”

“…what’s his blood type?”

AKSDHJSKAHDHAS I FUCKING LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY FICS

okay so! some background information, it is my personal hc that bear fell into the cult, senior year of high school. so when tim rescues, he's been in there for like 5 years. it just doesn't make sense to me otherwise? like they chose him for the sacrifice. it wasn't like "oh he's convenient. might as well use him." they specifically interrupted his date-but-not-really-a-date with tim to get to him. like they thought he would be a worthy sacrifice to bring down the attention of dionysus. like he had to have been their most devoted member or something.

the gang meets him in their freshman year of college where mori, jam, and bear all end up getting an apartment together bc the landlord leased it out to three different people and they all responded. dija and chinna are their next door neighbors. anyway, they all become friends bc they all go to gotham u together.

i think mori and jam always knew there was smth wrong with bear. he's always kinda lost in his head, he disappears at odd hours of the day, when he talks to you he never directly stares at you but to the side of you like there's someone there. and as they grow closer, obviously the truth comes out near the end of freshman year.

and as college goes on, everyone learns his backstory and his sordid history with tim. needless to say, bear is like your dad who drops absolutely horrifying Dad Lore at random times and the gang is left to red-string-cork-board it together. they could be at a cafe near uni and bear randomly would be like "i tried to give my dead best friend chest compressions for like 30 minutes bc i refused to believe she was dead." cue the gang going, ".... do you, maybe, wanna unpack that?" / "no." / "oh. ok"

background info out of the way, the gang despises tim drake. how could they not? when they see the way bear has deteriorated after junior year? when they stumble across a photo of the grieves trio and wonder where that bright smile of bear's had gone? how could they not, when all of them have had to talk bear out of a hallucination? how could they not when bear comes back each night with more and more scars? when they've all walked in on him bleeding out? when all bear talks about is being chosen? when it's starting to look like this cult is going to take their friend from them?

and then, 4 years after they met bear, they get a call from hospital telling them that their brother is in the icu. and when they finally arrive at the hospital, tim drake is sitting in the waiting room, struggling to fill out basic information about his so-called "best friend".

fuck tim drake.