#Cass to Jason: Yeah but we could get popcorn

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Bruce, not ready to wake up: Just five more…

Tim, bored, irritated, and sensing an opportunity to sow the seeds of chaos:

Tim: *races into the kitchen*

Tim: You guys will never believe what Bruce just said!

Damian: Well?

Duke: What did he say?

Steph: You can’t leave us hanging like that.

Tim: He said five MORE.

*collective gasp*

Steph: I had better not be one of those five.

Damian: Why does Father get to adopt five more children and I can not adopt five more cats? Cats are much easier to care for than people.

Tim, shrugging: I’m sure he’d be fine with it.

[clockwayswrites]

Rumors of a Prince

“You could always ask Jason to pay her a visit,” Dick said from where he was lounging, mostly upside down, on the couch in Bruce’s study.

Bruce frowned at him. “I am not going to have Jason kill Vickie Vale.”

“Hey, you’re the one who said kill!” Dick held his hands up or, rather, given his position, down. “I just meant puts some fear into her. Maybe kidnap her for a few days so that she can’t write any more libel.”

Bruce found himself smiling, slightly and against his better judgment. It faded away when he looked back at his laptop. “At least in this case, it wouldn’t do much good. The stories is already out there and, unfortunately, Vale’s take on it has captured the public’s attention.”

“Tim knows I bet… and Babs.”

“Undoubtedly by now.”

“And if those two know, Steph knows. If Steph knows, she’s ranted to Cass.”

“Yes.” This family was impossible to keep things secret in.

“Welp,” Dick said and swung himself to be sitting up normally— or as normally as Dick ever sat. “Then I guess we better tell the others. How do you want to divide this?”

Bruce was grateful that Dick was willing to be his partner in this. “You would be best to take Jason. I’ll speak with Damian. Either of us can catch Duke when he returns from his patrol.”

Dick nodded. “And Tom?”

“I think perhaps it would be best to have as much of the family in the manor as possible,” Bruce said after a moment. “If he destabilizes, I want him to know that we are around and that he is still safe.”

“Alright.” Dick slapped his knees once and stood. “I’ll drag Jason back then. You know he’ll come if it’s for Tom.”

“Make sure he reads the article before he comes over.”

Dick grimaced. “Yeah. Yeah, that would be best. I’m going to bring some food too over with me. Good luck convincing Dami that he can’t go and stab Vickie Vale.”

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. “Right. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Dick chirped as he left for his task.

Bruce dropped his hand.

‘Gotham’s Pale Prince’ stared back at him from the screen.

-

“Seriously?!” Jason burst in through the kitchen door. “Have you read this swill?”

“Yes chum, of course I have,” Bruce said. He shot Dick, who trailing behind Jason’s fury, a look. Dick was supposed to get Jason to read the article before coming over.

Dick just shrugged helplessly and motioned in a way that conveyed Jason had read it and was still clearly quite upset.

“One of the biggest questions is,” Jason said, clearly reading now from the article with the air of Bristol accent he had put on, “perhaps, why the newest Wayne is not in school. Bruce has proven himself to be a champion of the educational system. This is despite the man himself being a college drop out’ like what the fuck?”

“To be fair, I am,” Bruce said.

Jason rolled his eyes and continued. “His oldest ward’— Dick is fucking adopted now, bitch!”

“Boo!” Steph echoed and tossed popcorn at the tablet Jason was holding.

(Bruce was neither sure when Stephanie had arrived nor where she got the popcorn.)

“Never going to college,” Jason said with a jab of his free hand, “and the second oldest never completing high school.’ I was dead you narrow minded shew!”

“Well, I mean, all she knows is that you were supposedly kidnapped by terrorists and tortured for years,” Dick said. He had moved over to help himself to Stephanie’s popcorn and paused raising the next handful to his face. “Okay, no, that’s actually worse.”

“And you are clear on your line that I cannot stab this woman for the dishonor she implies about the family?” Damian asked, again, as he joined them in the kitchen.

“Unfortunately we have to handle this the proper way, with a press conference,” Bruce said. Stabbing was looking increasingly appealing though.

Jason dropped into one of the open chairs. “I’d call it a battle of the wits, but I don’t think Vale has any left with this trash she’s writing!”

“Alright,” Tim said as he entered the kitchen with almost as much fury as Jason, just more contained. Cass followed in his wake. “I am sure that B has already run through no killing, no stabbing, no maiming, no poisoning—”

“No poisoning Vickie Vale,” Bruce said, feeling so tired.

“Way to go, Timbit, now we can’t poison her,” Jason groused.

Tim sighed, “Fair, I shouldn’t have assumed. I really thought someone else would have brought it up already.”

“People went for more bloody options,” Dick explained.

“Also fair,” Tim said, pointing at him. “Anyways, since we can’t do all that, can I ruin her reputation?”

“Tim,” Bruce sighed.

“Now come on old man, let’s here Timtam out,” Jason said, holding out his arm. “You said yourself we had to handle the proper way and I’m sure that our little socialite here knows just how to ruin her through something like a press conference.”

“You I can stab,” Tim said with a shark sharp smile towards Jason.

Jason returned it with a smile like broken glass. “You can try.”

“Oh, if you keep calling me a socialite I will try and I will manage.”

“Boys, please.”

“Are people threatening blood and violence again?”

Every head in the room swiveled towards the door to the hall.

Tom almost recoiled at the sudden attention of all of the family, taking a half step back and looking a little wide eyed.

Cass walked forward and wrapped her arm around Tom’s. “Tim is. To Jason.”

It took a moment for Tom to tear his eyes away from the family to look at his sister. “Of course. What’s… it about this time?”

“Jason is reminding Tim that he’s a rich society brat and Tim hates to be reminded about that even though it’s true because Tim is also a little freak and the upper crust would be applaud if they knew even a fraction of it,” Steph said before she stuffed his mouth full of more popcorn.

Everyone in the room paused for a moment.

“No, yep, I think that’s pretty much spot on,” Dick said. He wasn’t even pretending not to laugh.

The laughter was infectious and almost everyone was either snickering or outright laughing. Bruce even quirked up a little smile. Tom still looked mostly confused but at least less nervous.

“Come sit by me, little shadow,” Dick said with a smile.

When Thomas settled next to Dick, who immediately wrapped an arm around him, the room settled again into that slightly somber mood.

“What is going on?” Tom asked, voice small. There were times when he still seemed unsure if he could be a presence in a room or consternation. It was something that they were still working on as a family.

Bruce sighed. “A reporter found out about you and wrote an article with mostly speculation. Unfortunately, because of who I am in the city and my existing tendency to adopt, it’s getting attention.”

Tom chewed on his lip and Bruce just hoped he wouldn’t worry it so much it bled. “Bad?”

“Not bad towards you, but unkind. She made a lot of guesses and fact reasons about why the public hasn’t seen you,” Bruce explained.

“Oh. Am I…?”

The dropping of words wasn’t the best sign. Dick pulled Tom into his lap.

“No. Most of the children didn’t attend the press conference announcing them and you don’t have to either. But I will need to make one simply to clear up some of rumors. I wont say anything that you don’t want me to say.”

“Bruce and I can plan it out,” Tim said, “and then run it by you if you want to look over it.”

“Can… will… if anyone wants to help…”

“Of course!” Dick said cheerfully. “We can make a lunch of it or something. It will be the best press conference yet.”

“Yeah. And you don’t even have to watch it,” Jason said. “We’ll plan something fun for that day. The old man can go and do the hard work and we’ll enjoy ourselves.”

“Thank you, Jason,” Bruce said dryly, pretending he wasn’t warmed still whenever Jason refereed to him as anything approaching father.

“It’s what you deserve,” Jason said and tossed his tablet, cleared of the article, on the table. “Come on, let’s plan what we’re going to do.”

“The zoo is always enjoyable,” Damian said.

“You always say zoo,” Cass pointed out as she perched next to Jason.

“What about the park?” Steph suggested. She joined the others at the table and passed around her popcorn.

“Nah, Ivy has a new variety of tulips. I’m worried some of them might turn man eating again,” Dick said.

“We could head out of Gotham I guess,” Jason pointed out and pulled up the map.

Bruce slipped quietly out of the room with Tim on his heels.

“You can stay with them and help them plan,” Bruce offered. Tim was always too grownup, had been since before he came to Bruce.

Tim just shook his head. “I’m never the best distraction. I’ll be more use to you. Besides, I have some plans to run by you that doesn’t need the blood thirsty contingency hearing about.”

“Of course you do,” Bruce said with both a sigh and a smile.

“Nothing physical,” Tim defended himself. “I can ruin her legally.”

“That I have no doubt of.”

No matter what, Bruce had absolutely no doubt that the family would be there for Tom. They were a family, after all.

---

AN: Vickie Vale won't know what hit her. Esp after what she wrote.

Don't know if this will become a full sequel or not, but it was fun to revisit this universe and see how they've progressed!

[incorrectbatfam]

In honour of today's WFA episode what else does Bruce keep in his utility belt?

Dick: Batman, what if I told you I lost my escrima sticks in the harbor?

Bruce: *pulls out another pair*

Bruce: Let me know if you need more.

———————

Jason: My other helmet exploded.

Bruce: Second-to-left pocket.

Jason: It's not there.

Bruce: My left, not yours.

Jason: This is why we have communication problems.

———————

[on a stakeout]

Tim: Crap, camera's dead. B?

Bruce: Watch your language. Single-lens or digital?

Tim: Uh.... any action cameras?

Bruce: Do I look like I have everything?

Tim:

Bruce:

Tim:

Bruce: Here are the three latest models, take your pick.

———————

Damian: Father, I sense an animal in need.

Bruce: *sighs*

Bruce: *pulls out a bag of dog treats*

Damian: Actually, I think it's a cat.

Bruce: *pulls out a can of cat food*

———————

Duke: Thanks again for getting us an early showing of the new Spider-Verse movie.

Bruce: Of course, Duke. I've been looking forward to it too.

Duke: Should we buy some snacks?

Bruce: It's okay, I got this.

Bruce's belt: *popcorn popping*

Bruce: You want butter with that?

———————

[at a breakfast diner]

Stephanie: I love this place, but I really wish they hadn't discontinued the pumpkin spice syrup.

Bruce: *pulls out a bottle*

Bruce: You mean this one?

———————

Barbara: I've been meaning to read the latest in this trilogy but all the library books have been checked out for weeks.

Bruce, taking out two books: Hardcover or paperback?

Barbara: Hardcover, but how did you get it autographed?

Bruce: My belt has connections.

———————

Margie: Not to toot my own horn, but my children have this recital in the bag.

Bruce: Oh yeah?

Bruce: *pulls out Cass's trophies*

Cass: Dad why—

———————

Alfred: Master Bruce, I know I'm asking a lot of you, but could you keep an eye on the oven for five minutes?

Bruce: Sure.

Bruce: *takes out a pocket drone*

———————

Bruce: If you reach into my belt, you might find a little surprise.

Selina: Really, now?

Selina: *reaches in*

Selina: ...The Bat Shark Spray?

Bruce: You never know!

[sluggishslugcrimes]

The batfam finally making Dick commit to something.

Jason: it's getting ridiculous you haven't committed to Star or Barb, not even arson!!

Dick: not true, I am very committed to arson. I burned down joker's new hideout with him in it.

Tim: well, you need a relationship.

Dick: so we're not allowed to be acearo no more? Very unprogressive of you Tim, being bi and all I excepted support from at least you of all people.

Tim: are you acearo?

Dick: no, but it was bold of you guys demand me in a relationship not knowing if I wasn't or not.*

Tim: okay well, are you going to choose already, Bruce put more money on his betting pool and I want to win, so please choose Star!

Dick, gasp dramatically: you better on my love life to be a cishet man!? Also already in a relationship, so sorry but none of you are winning.

Damian: you are?

Dick: I am.

Stephanie: who is it then if not Star or Barb?

Dick: ... Since you are a lesbian I feel less offended you thought it was women for some reason, anyways it's your babysitter. Wally. For years now.

Bruce: it not Wally, I would have known it was him.

Jason: kinky.

Dick: yes, I forgot I live with the greatest detectives of all time. So me sitting in his lap any chance I got didn't set it off?

Bruce: friends do that too, Tim in Stephanie's lap all the time.

Tim: because she calls me her child and force me to sit there because I'm only an inch shorter than her!

Stephanie: Hun, inches matter, and it's like five inches shorter now.

Tim: stop growing!!

Dick: okay, how about when he's sleeping over I make him sleep in my bed.

Bruce: you've done it since you met him, that's easily written off.

Dick: what about the time I got caught making out with him in the cave.

Bruce: you were 13, hormones.

Dick: the batmobile?

Bruce: rebellious stage was strong with you.

Batsibs, grabbed the popcorn:

Dick: the medbay, mount justice where I slept in his room my entire stay, oh and every picture of me in pride.

Bruce: ... It's all coincidences! How was I supposed to know you were dating him!? You were sewed at the hip and you called him baby for years, there's not a single moment that would have told me you were —

Dick: you caught us in the action when you decide not to knock coming into my apartment, I know you have friends with benefits but there was candles and stuff.

Jason: oh shit, B you are blind!

Damian: or in denial it seems...

Stephanie: denial is a river in Egypt, your son is gay.

Cass: cool, I won the bet.

Tim: Bruce how could you failed us!?

Duke: couldn't even knock, is that why we have a knocking rule now?

Jarro: *confused and disappointed starfish noises*

Bruce: ugh okay I might be in denial, but only so you see there's a better choice out there like Barbara, she's smart and you get along and she-

Dick: a lesbian in a relationship with Kara.

Bruce: ... Really?

Dick: yep, that's why Kara knew Jim.

Bruce: what about Star? You have a kid with her so you must've broken up with Wally for her just a bit, and you flirt with her a lot—

Dick: dating Raven, and I was a donor since she wanted to have a kid and ask if it was okay if I helped. All done at a doctor's office.

Bruce: well date Roy!

Jason: hell no, I got dibs on him!

Tim: wow, he's homophobic. So you must've hated my mom married to little demon's mom huh?

Bruce: I'm not homophobic! I'm irisphobic... She's a scary woman...

Dick: yeah be a real shame if she knew you used Wally as a shield, huh.

Bruce: dick, please, for your old man date a different redhead.

Dick: no~

* being acearo doesn't mean you can't be in a relationship, a person can choose if they want it or not regardless of sexuality but def in the ace spectrum like acearo. this is a joke.

Also sluggy finally schedule post for once bec he doesn't feel good, not on my 2023 bingo card,,,, only have two more after this,,,, more in tags

[batstorm93672]

"Can you get me in M'gann?"

M'gann crossed her arms and smiled "Of course. Miss Martian to the rescue. Now Damian is trapped in a fake reality in his mind. I can send you in, but you may not remember why you came in. The power will influence you, you have to fight through it. Can you do that?"

"You know me, I can get my baby brother out"

Close your eyes, I'll send you in. And make sure to stay safe Nightwing.

.

.

.

Dick woke up to see Kory beside him sleeping soundly. As always, she looked perfect and stunning. Dick sat up and kissed Kory on the forehead.

"Mmh, Dick? Where are you going?"

"Going to Gotham, the family set up a movie night. So before it starts we're just gonna hang out"

"I would ask you to stay, but I know you haven't been there in awhile. So have fun"

"Thanks Kor, I love you"

"Love you too"

Dick got dressed and started the car up, it was nice out today.

Can't wait to see everyone. I haven't seen Damian for a few weeks, hope the kid is alright

Robin got hit, we gotta--

That was weird... what was I thinking about again? Lost my train of thought. Whoa when did I arrive? Heh time flies

Dick got out the car and walked to the front doors. "Master Richard, how joyful it is to see you arrived well" "Hey Alf, am I the last one?" "Quite the contrary, you're the first of the others to arrive. Master Damian and Miss Talia are in the living room if you'd like to see them while Master Bruce is still at work with Master Tim" "...Why is Talia here?" "Why would she not be? She is a resident residing in the Manor" "I- I'll go see them"

"Hey Dami!" Dick popped in to see Damian reading with Titus on his lap, the dog was so big that Damian had to lift the book up over Titus so he could read. "Richard, hello" "Hello Dick. It's been awhile" Talia was sitting by Damian, Titus's head was on her lap and she was stroking Titus. "Talia... why are you here?"

Damian raised an eyebrow "What are you going on about?" "Is everything alright Dick?" "Um... yeah all good, guess I'm still shaking off some sleep"

I can contact Miss M--

"Damian..."

"Yes?"

This feels odd, Talia is here and somehow it doesn't feel right... why does my head feel so foggy?

"Can we step out and talk for a second?"

"I suppose, what is going on with you?"

"Nothing I'm all good here"

And yet... something isn't right. It has something to do with Damian, that's my gut feeling anyways

Ushering Titus off of him, Damian got up and walked out with Dick. "What do you wish to discuss Richard?" "Are you alright Damian? Talia isn't hurting you is she?" Damian looked offended "Why would my own mother be hurting me? Yes we've had complications, but we are past that. You were there"

"No something isn't right, all I know is that it has something to do with you. Somehow this isn't right. We need to figure it out"

"We do not need to figure anything out, I am going back to read by my mother's side"

Talia... she never stayed since Bruce... she... she killed Damian because he chose to stay. Everything is coming back, Damian getting hit while we fought in Boston against a meta that Bruce asked us to help detain. Then I called M'gann...

"Damian this isn't real. You were hit while we were fighting and trapped in another reality in your mind. I came to get you out"

Damian frowned.

Then everything changed. Dick was sitting down beside Jason and Cass. Everyone as a matter of fact was here. A movie was playing on the screen. Dick looked back to see Damian watching with intent as he sat by Bruce and Talia.

What happened? The mind magic must've sensed that I'm an intruder and is now trying to distract Damian by changing the scene

Dick grabbed a kernel from the popcorn bin and threw it at Damian. The kid scowled and made eye contact with Dick, rolling his eyes, Damian looked back.

The movie was over, Bruce was smiling "Alright, it's already late. Shall we turn in for the night?" Everyone agreed to sleep over...

Damian went to his room suddenly after taking a few steps to his bed. The door, he didn't close, shut and he turned to see Dick. Dick locked the door and looked almost guilty.

I gotta get him out of this fake reality

"Damian I need you to listen. I know it sounds crazy, but I'm not lying. I wouldn't lie to you about something like this"

Damian crossed his arms and kept his gaze away "Fine" "This isn't real, I know you don't know because you got hit with some mind stuff and Miss M managed to bring me to your mind. We wanted to get you out of here before anything bad happened. Who knows what is going on, plus it seems it's already noticed I'm not the fake that this place conjured up"

"You're wrong..."

"Damian I know it's hard to believe b-"

"I mean you're wrong about me not knowing"

"...what?"

"I figured it already. I found out on the first day"

"That's good, I'm betting you were looking all over for an exit. Any clues?"

"I'm not going back"

Dick looked flabbergasted "Why not? Who knows what this place is going to do to you"

"That scene change wasn't the mind altering magic. It was me, you were saying so much that I skipped to the movie night so maybe you would get off my back about it. Heh I should've known better"

"Damian, why do you want to stay here?"

"Because she's here. Everyone is here. No one is in pain, I'm happy... I like it here and no one leaves me. We're a happy family that's all I want Richard. I don't want to choose between anyone. I want to be happy with everyone by my side. I can't go back"

"Damian, as your older brother I can say, this isn't right. I understand you want to feel this desire of joy and I'm sorry that it isn't fully like that. Life is... different. But all of us are still a family"

"...my mom left me, used me, made another me just because I wasn't good enough. Just because that God forsaken Pit messed her mind up. So why... why can't I stay someplace where she doesn't leave me?"

"Because being here could cause something bad. What about your physical body? You're active in your mind while you're physically sleeping in the real world. If you don't wake up then your health will be paying the price. It's been three days Dami, how long can your body take sleeping?"

Everything turned dark, Dick looked around it was an empty void and Damian was nowhere to be seen. Small sounds came from the right and Dick ran as it grew louder. Coming to see Damian hugging himself and crying "I know... I can't stay, I just wish... I just don't want to chose who to be with when it hurts my relationship with the other. I love them both, but it won't ever change..."

Damian looked up "The only way to get out was for me to choose to do so. I guess that's what makes the mind power so powerful in the first place" "I know you're scared, but I'm here to take you back. You'll be okay Dames" Damian grabbed Dick's hand and was walking behind Dick like a child holding their parents hands. Rubbing his watery eyes and suddenly for a moment it did change, Damian looked to see that he was holding Talia and Bruce's hands his parents were smiling.

"We love you son"

.

.

.

Damian opened his eyes muttering as he rose from his slumber.

"I love you too"

[collectivefandomstuff]

The War of The Roses Altercation

{Day 1}

Dick: the war of the roses was so stupid

Steph: well yeah. Everyone knows who was in the right

Dick & Cass: Lancaster

Steph & Tim: [at the same time] York

Everyone:

Dick: HOW COULD YOU-

Steph: ARE YOU-

-

{Day 3}

Jason: [walks into kitchen, stops, and blinks] what the hell? Why are you wearing roses?

Alfred: they are having a disagreement

Jason: about?

Dick: Tim and Steph are Yorkists

Jason:

Jason: oh hell no gimme one of those red roses we’re settling this

-

{Day 6}

Alfred: Nice to have you home again master Damian

Damian: [nods]

Alfred: I would suggest avoiding the living room. Masters Richard and Jason and Miss Cassandra has claimed it for the Lancasters

Damian: [pauses] are you suggesting a room in the manor has been occupied in the name of the red roses of Lancaster?

Alfred: quite. Master Timothy and miss Stephanie has also barricaded the sun room and proclaimed it Yorkist territory.

Damian: this is unacceptable

{later}

Steph: [hollering] HA YOU SUCKERS WE GOT DAMIAN NOW

Damian: THE SITTING ROOM HAS BEEN CONQUERED IN THE NAME OF THE NOBLE HOUSE OF YORK

-

{Day 8}

Jason: [yelling from the west side of the house] ROSES ARE RED-

Tim and Steph: [from the east side] BOO

Steph: FAKE NEWS

-

{Day 10}

Duke: [just stepped into the foyer] Hey Bruce

Bruce: Turn around.

Duke: what?

Bruce: [intense] turn around and walk away. Trust me, it's for your own good.

Duke: [peering past Bruce] is that Damian and Cass fencing on the stairs?

Bruce: That's not important

Damian: [loudly] Yield, you Lancastrian dog!

Duke: I feel like it really is

Bruce: [pushing him out the door] come back in a week

-

{Day 11}

Bruce: [hurrying down a hallway] WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?

Steph: [tumbles out of a doorway, spins around and faces Dick who's holding a stick] You cur! You shame your house with your cowardice!

Dick: Hardy words from a lady who's losing!

Duke: [sticks his head out from a room further down the corridor] Steph! This way!

Bruce: Wait, didn't I send you away?

Duke: [meets Bruce's gaze] Long live Damian of House York! The one true king!

Dick: You made Damian king?

Duke: He's the only one who's comfortable using the royal 'we'.

-

{Day 13}

Alfred: I feel I should inform you that the "Yorkists" have stormed the "Lancastrian" stronghold. We will be needing a new chandelier.

Bruce: [rubbing his temples] why?

Alfred: I believe master Timothy finally made use of those explosives he made from pilfered kitchen supplies.

Bruce: [groans]

[there's a crash from another part of the house, followed by a loud 'whoop']

Bruce:

Bruce: that was not one of the kids.

Alfred:

Bruce: Please tell me Selina didn't get involved in this

Alfred: [awkward silence]

Bruce: Alfred?

Alfred: [walks away]

Bruce: Alfred?? TELL ME SELINA DIDN'T GET INVOLVED! ALFRED?!

-

{Day 14}

Bruce: [walks into the living room to find all children collapsed onto various sofas and pillows]

Bruce: [peering at Cass and Damian, who are sharing an armchair] weren't you mortal enemies?

Jason: [lounging next to Duke] nah

Bruce:

Bruce: When I left to go scream into the void- I mean get some pie -you were locked in a furious battle in the east wing.

Dick: [laying upside down on the couch] ran out of steam

Steph: [munching on popcorn] we're watching Legally Blonde, wanna join?

Bruce: But-

Cass: Did you say there's pie?

Bruce: I- who won?

Tim: Who cares? hand over the pie

Bruce:

Bruce: Are you telling me I just lived through a two week version of the 30 years' war and you don't even care who won?

Duke: [waves him off] it wasn't the thirty years' war, B, if it was we wouldn't have fought to begin with. I mean it's clear that the Protestants were in the right that time.

Damian: [sniffs] I think you mean the Catholics

Everyone: [eyes each other]

Bruce: oh no

Dick: HOW COULD YOU EVEN TH-

Jason: THE CATHOLICS??

Steph: THOSE GREEDY LUTHERAN BASTA-

Tim: -CORRUPTION! UNSCRUPULOUS, UNCONSCIONABLE DEEDS-

Cass: [flips the coffee table]

[internalsealpanic]

Respectful Cannibalism

Summary:  Watching mystery movie with a bunch of detective was a bad idea

A/n: While this is part 3 to my Space Case series, you’re not required to read Art Gallery Smile or Cosmonauts to understand the context to this. The only note I do have is that Dick and Steph are friends with Reader much to Tim’s everlasting horror.  Special thanks to @littleredwing89 and @glorified-red for proof reading this mess.

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff and a confusing amount of batkids in one scene.

Main Masterlist

Tim Drake Masterlist

Tim coughs, loud and ragged into the speaker. You find yourself wincing at the phone tucked against your ear. Tim sounds like he’s dying or, at the very least, he’s on his way there. 

“I’m so-”

“Fucking tired of saying sorry that you decided to go skinny dipping in Gotham Harbor? Yeah. Great, I’m sick of hearing it too. Glad, we’re on the same page, Space Cadet.” You exasperate, pulling on your jeans violently enough for Tim to hear the angry shuffling of fabric. 

“Skinny dipping?” Tim huffs, a fond smile playing on his lips as he drinks in the timber of your voice. Even when you were absolutely exasperated, your voice was still soothing or maybe he just misses your company. God, he’s such a sap. 

You shake your head in disbelief. That was his take away? “Yes, Timmy, Buck-ass skinny dipping,” you laugh, coming out derisive and sharp. Tim groans this time filled with guilt. The first few sounds of another ‘I’m sorry’ form in the back of his throat as he runs his hand through his bed head. For once, you’re thankful that you’re nowhere near Tim because you are one apology away from decking him and you’re pretty sure that that’s a terrible thing to do to a sick person, especially one with no brain cells to spare. 

“I- You were really looking forward to this (Y/n), don’t try to deny it.” You weren’t going to. He was right. You were looking forward to this date. You were impossibly, unreasonably giddy over the prospect of going to the planetarium with Tim this afternoon. WITH Tim. Sure, you’re pretty down about it but you were the tiniest bit more  concerned about the fact that your boyfriend had water in his lungs and almost died of hypothermia for a hot second. You pinch the bridge of your nose, hoping that worry and murder radiate off of you in equal measure.  “I was also looking forward to my letter from Hogwarts,” you sneer, pausing dramatically to look at your watch, “and it’s been roughly a decade.”  You hear Tim swallow and the hairs on your neck bristle in petty satisfaction. 

Tim chortles, a lively sound that startles you, then coughs but the sound comes out somehow sounding doubtful and teasing. Embarrassment flares up in you. “You were too!” you protest, hackles drawn to full height. A short breathy laugh leaves Tim and you feel the flush on your face ease into something softer and more rounded. All the sharpness in your veins dissipates as the flash of fondness for that stupid laugh takes over. You can imagine him warm under the covers smiling at the phone at your blunder. “Please, (y/n), my hopes were dashed when I was 4  and still not in the Jedi order.”

“Bullshit, you were never a child,”  you snort, sharpening the grin on your face into something vicious. “I refuse to believe you were ever a child! You probably sprang out of a textbook fully formed- Wait, I’m getting off-topic. ” Tim hums innocently and you narrow your eyes at the phone, hoping he can feel the ‘I am revoking your breathing privileges’ look.  “You always are.” Tim says before falling into a coughing fit. 

“Sorry, Cosmo, I just keep getting lost in your eyes,”  you whisper, pitching your voice rich and caramel smooth. There’s a sound on the other line. Tim is babbling you realize. You hear a shuffle of fabric and a body rising. Tim sucks in a breath, red-faced and caught off guard by the sudden shift in tone. He can practically see the cocky grin playing on your face, the light of the sun reflecting as golden flecks in your eyes.  “You can’t even see them!” Tim stammers, glowering at you through the phone. You cackle at him as if sensing the venomous look he’s giving you. “You can barely open them!” Tim rolls his, very much, open eyes, falling back into an unnecessarily large pile of pillows that Alfred insisted was necessary for bed rest with a loud ‘fwoof’. “Yes, I can,” Tim mumbles, sounding young for once. You do your level best to smother a grin on your face. “I’m just really drowsy from the chamomile tea Alfie gave me.” You stop dead in your tracks, one hand half in your coat the other on the doorknob. You blink. “You’re at the Manor?”

Tim pauses, making a frustrated noise. He shouldn’t have said that.  “Dick and B… insisted.” This draws another one of your sharp laughs. He says insisted as if it was ever negotiable. “Did they ‘insist’ before or after they blow-dried and hung you out to dry?” Tim squawks and you hear shuffling again. Tim tries to remember why he doesn’t hate you. “Tell me again how you found out about me getting sick? Steph? Cass?”

“Hmmmmmm, Dick.”

“THAT TRAITOR”

“Funny way to pronounce older brother,” you hum smug. You can feel Tim glaring daggers at you. “You-”

“There’s a home theater, yeah?” 

Tim pauses, this time longer. “I don’t like where this is going.”

“Answer the question, Space Case.”

He sighs. “Yes.”

“Great! It’s a date then,” you say, mentally preparing a route to the Manor from the vague directions Steph told you once. You could just use the maps app- 

“NO!” You freeze. Tim flinches at the volume of his own voice. He  whispers an indiscernible  ‘I’m sorry’. You turn it over in your mind before speaking. “No?” You ask, trying your best to sound hurt instead of amused. Maybe you should have pitched your voice higher, more shaky. “Look, Tim, I-” Tim heaves a loud sigh. “-(Y/n), you’re fine-” Well, you aren’t, you think. You bite your tongue, physically to make sure you don’t say anything unnecessary. “-It’s got nothing to do with you. It’s- It’s just my siblings...” Tim knows that his siblings have been talking about you.  

“Timmy, I can take whatever shovel talk they can give me,” you say with the confidence of someone who has never been dangled over the edge of a roof top. Ok, to be fair, YOU had nothing to worry about. Tim, on the other hand, was going to get roasted alive. Maybe he can persuade you into not- Tim hears the tell tale sputtering of your bike’s engine and he feels his blood pressure spike. The engine genuinely sounds like a death rattle. 

“You’ll get sick.”

You swear and he hears another sputter of the engine. “You’ll get sick,” he croaks again, louder this time hopefully over the dying engine. Maybe if your engine dies right now, he’ll be spared from a slow agonizing death via siblings. “Relax Cosmo, I have the strongest ward against whatever you got,” you say, giving the engine a light kick. Tim hears a few metallic clunks then the engine stutters to life. Tim looks up past the ceiling trying to glare at whatever cosmic being resurrected your engine. 

“Which is...”

“Being broke. It does wonders for your health.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s how it works,” Tim says, shifting burying his head against the too soft pillows. The soft fabric makes his eyes feel heavy. He yawns. He hears the sputter or your laugh. It’s hard to tell from the sudden drowsiness making his head swim. 

“I promise I’ll explain to your typical rich kid ass when I get there, Tim.”

“That’s not how it works,” Tim slurs, face pressed into a pillow. 

You laugh, he’s sure this time. 

“I’m-” Tim’s mind unfocuses and the words you say garble together ”-Tim. ”

Tim blinks, mouth moving to ask you to repeat that but the last thing he hears is a soft click. 

On the bright side, it would just be him and Alfred at the manor.

_________________________________________________________

Batmanisfake: I heard (y/n)'s coming over😶

Nightwingingit:👀 How do you even know that?

Batmanisfake: What are you? A cop?

Nightwingingit: say that again but slowly 🙄

Batmanisfake: ...

Damian: He bugged Drake's phone. For blackmail purposes, of course. 

Nightwingingit: JASON

The Cool One: Shush Dick! He's onto something

Batmanisfake: Thank you 

The Adult: I for once had nothing to do with it😌

Theactualbatman: I'm assuming we're all coming home tonight?

The Cool One: I'll bring popcorn

Damian: Nonsense Pennyworth will likely have some prepared

The Cool One:😭 We really do not deserve that man

Nightwingingit: Definitely

thesaneone: We're recording Tim's face when he sees us, right? 

Batmanisfake: From all angles

The Adult: You're all horrible

Batmanisfake: Please like you're not hacking into the cameras as we speak, Babs

The Adult: You have no proof👀

_________________________________________________________

Tim’s head felt thick and gooey like one of Alfred’s custards. He feels like he’s floating, like he’s in a fish tank. There’s a sickly Chlorine smell clogging his nostrils; it smells powdery and sterile and reminds him vaguely of aspirin. Tim blinks. His eyes hurt; they feel puffy and sore and hot. His vision is further obscured by a thick layer of fleece blankets Alfred had piled high over him. He shuts his eyes still feeling too overwhelmed by the low light coming from the window.

Tim thinks he hears his window open with a soft click. Tim quiets his breathing. His hearing is too muddled to process anything beyond it.  There’s a soft thud of heavy boots in the room; it’s imperceptible and dreamlike the way it reaches his ears that it has him shifting under the covers trying his best to discern the sound. A dozen lighter footsteps follow it and he can sense 6 shapeless bodies hovering over him.

“Should we wake him up?” asks a voice that vaguely sounds like Cass. 

There’s a shuffling sound. Leather, he thinks. “Wait, lemme take a picture.”

“Red, why? It’s not like you can blackmail him with pictures of him sleeping.”

“Because, flashlight, I need proof that Timbo sleeps. ”

“Because?”

“Ok, how many times have you seen him asleep?” 

“Uh...”

“Exactly!”

Tim hears a laugh that distinctly sounds like Dick. “Does it count if Alfie drugged him?”

“Maybe?” Steph says, shrugging. 

“It doesn’t, Brown.”

“Damn it.”

“Does that mean B doesn’t sleep?”

“Nope.”

Maybe if Tim keeps sleeping, they’ll go away on their own. Tim wraps the sheets tightly around himself, hoping the large stack  of fleece would be enough to muffle his siblings. 

“I’m pretty sure I have dibs on waking him for opening the window for you shits.”

“Red, anyone could have opened that,” Duke laughs, stepping slightly behind Cass, who at the moment was paying more attention to the moving pile of fabric. Maybe if Tim stays really still she’ll turn her attention to something else. 

“Cass and Dickface would have just broken it.‘

“I would not!”

“Sorry, Cass, you would.”

“Steph, whose side are you on?”

“Why is no one defending me?” Dick sighs. 

“No one cares, Dickface. And Blondie’s clearly playing for the right team-” Steph cackles. “-none of you have any finesse.”

“Not all of us can be drama queens, Todd.”

“You’re like the third to the last person I wanna hear this from.”

“Third? You’re ranking us now? Who gave you the right?”

“Alfred,” Jason deadpans, “And yeah. Bruce and Dick are first and second.”

“Hey!”

“Can it Mr. Pretty Man Down.”

“That was one-”

“What rank am I?”

“uh … fifth.”

“Fifth?!”

“Sorry, Blondie, Cass has you beat with that ballet kick thingy.”

“Ok, yeah I can accept that. What about Babs?”

“What about Babs? The woman can kick my ass six ways to Sunday. ”

Tim’s head throbs all over. There are soft pin pricks pressing on the sole of his left foot; his leg jerks involuntarily. He wants to scream. Tim swears under his breath. A gloved hand pries the covers away from Tim’s face. Tim squints his eyes open only to be greeted by Dick’s kind, but still very punchable, face. Tim takes a long rasp, pinching his features in a mix of annoyance and despair. “Why are you-” Cough! “-here?”

There’s a slight quirk to Dick’s smile.“They wanted to meet (y/n),” Dick explains in a sweeping theatrical motion of his hand across the room directing Tim’s attention to the expressions on his sibling’s expressions which were all a variation of devious scheming. 

“How did-” cough. “- you even know-” cough. “-(y/n) was coming?” Tim asks, shooting up from his pile of pillows causing a couple of blankets to topple to the floor to the ground. Tim’s lightheaded.  He suddenly feels a shift in his balance, a feeling of vertigo.   He nearly topples to the ground, his blood not quite catching up to his movements, when feels hands wrap around his shoulders. “Woah there Baby Bird, slowdown.”

“Answer-” Cough!

“It was Todd.”

“You mutant sperm!”

“Jay, aren’t we all mutant sperm?” Steph laughs, slinging one arm over an irate Damian’s shoulders and another over a fuming Jason’s shoulders. Tim groans, sounding pained. “How much do I need to pay each of you to get all of you to go away?”

“A lifetime of IOUs,” Dick says, casually. 

“NO!”

“All of your share in W.E.,” Duke says, laughing. Steph elbows him lightly, also laughing. “You’re shooting prelow there, Slick,” Steph teases. Duke shrugs still grinning. “Gotta  keep it realistic, yanno?”  Steph and Duke keep bickering. 

“Drake, kindly, pay with your life.”

Tim scrunches his nose. “I’m already on my deathbed, you know, dying. What else do you want from me?”

“A more agonizing death.”

Jason grins, tilting his chin. “C’mon, Timbo, we can help with your little impromptu date.” Tim groans, placing his face in his hands. “Please just help me dig my own grave.”

“What would be the fun in that, Timbo?”

“For you or for me?”

“Come on, Tim, it’ll be fine,” Cass says,  clearly not believing the words herself. All seven of them dissolve into another round bickering. Damian, Jason, and Steph hellbent on giving Tim an aneurysm.  Duke and Cass playing at being neutral; Duke leaning on Tim’s side but laughing way too hard at Steph’s well placed jabs; Cass is only mildly siding with Tim to spite Jason. Why this time? Tim has no clue. 

The string of banter is broken up by the echoing the doorbell. Tim’s heart seizes as they all fall silent, enraptured by the odd sound of a doorbell filling the hallowed halls of Wayne Manor. The chiming of bells ends with the creaking of the large oak doors in the front of the manor. 

Before Tim’s sluggish brain could even formulate a thought, all of his siblings are all bounding towards the door, bouncing off the walls and flipping over obstacles. Tim scrambles, lagging, after the hoard of vigilantes barrelling towards you. Tim tries to shout after his siblings but his voice is drowned out by raucous laughter and bickering. 

You stand at the door, head haloed by the pale afternoon light as the sky catches fire, flecks of snow sparkling in your hair. You tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear as you sheepishly thank Alfred as he takes your coat.  

Tim struggles to breathe an he genuinely doesn’t know if it’s because of his lungs, you, or the fact that of all his siblings, Babs was the one who got there first and Tim genuinely doesn’t know if Babs is there to hold off the gaggle of vigilantes or to scare you off. From the jovial grin wrinkling your features, Tim’s pretty sure Babs just gave you some blackmail material instead of putting you through the ringer- an equally scary outcome. For your part, you don’t look even slightly phased by the fact that Babs is in a wheelchair or even by the way she’s clearly sizing you up. All of this rolls off of you with an easy motion of your shoulders as you answer her questions in the most frustratingly oblique way based off of Babs’s expression. Tim can’t help the curve on his lip as you blatantly dodge another of Babs’s questions with a smile. You spot him, winking, and the tips of Tim’s ears flush. 

Your cocky demeanor fades when a gaggle of batbrats crowd you; nervousness creeps into your form, ironing out your posture into something unnatural and defensive. “Is this a bad time?” You ask through a tight lipped smile. Babs glares at them but doesn’t make any effort to hide the satisfaction at your shaken demeanor. “Don’t mind them, Sweetie,” Babs says, patting your back and guiding you away from the gaggle. You shuffle awkwardly, trying to coax your spine back into a more natural curve. 

“(Y/n)!” Tim manages between gasps for air. Making a person with non functioning lungs run has to be some sort of human rights violation. His voice is  louder than he anticipated. He realizes, but the apprehension in his body flits away when you beam at him-a  wide cheeky smile that has his body vibrating with delight. He made you smile like that, Tim thinks, heart swelling almost enough to soften the impact of the next few words. “Hey, Duckie!” you chirp tilting your face in a cute lopsided smile. 

“Duckie?” Jason sniggers. 

Duke’s face passess from confusion, realization, then amusement in a matter of three seconds.“Duckie? As in ‘quack quack’?” Duke asks, pretending to still be dumbstruck. 

“Yes, Duckie, Tommy Terrific,” you say, the lopsided smile curving into a playful grin. The dumb nicknames earn you a loud, surprisingly nonthreatening, approving laugh from Jason who then says “We’ll keep those nicknames in mind” which just drags pained looks from both Tim and Duke. Dick and Damian on the other hand look absolutely delighted. 

“(Y/n), tell them about the other nicknames,” Steph says, grinning savagely. Your eyes widen and you wrinkle your nose, mouth twitching from side to side, trying to pretend away the heat rising from your cheeks. “Not on your life, Stephie.”

“Aaaaaw! Not even for lil ol’ me?” Dick pouts, throwing his arms around you. The familiarity of the action has Tim bristling. “Pleeeeeaaase,” Dick whines; a smile hidden in your hair, “not even for Alfred’s cookies?” You make a noise caught between a laugh and a groan. “Hmmmm… maybe? Throw in some candy.”

“Deal.”

Tim blinks. “You’d betray me for sugar?” 

“Cus I ain’t getting any while you’re sick,” you cackle, grinning along with Dick who looks way too pleased with the outcome of the conversation.  Tim desperately wants to melt into the floor. Looking at all his siblings who are eagerly awaiting for the litany of nicknames, Tim cuts in. “Let’s just go watch that film.”

“What are we watching?” Cass asks, leaning to look over your shoulder, clearly shoving Dick out of the way. Dick does his best to not budge. 

“What do you mean ‘we’?”

“We are under a communist regime, Timbo. We’re all watching it together,” Jason says, slinging Tim over his shoulder. 

“Have a heart, Drake. We only want to spend family time together,” Damian says, somehow still looking imperious even from where Tim is dangling. A dull ache starts spreading across Tim’s like his skull is being squeezed. 

“Hope you guys like Clue,” you say, fishing it out of your cornucopia of unhealthy junk food. “I figured you detectives would like a good mystery.” Dick snorts taking the disc from you and reading over the contents efficiently. “Bet you I can get the ending even before any of you.”

“No, you won’t,” Jason barks, setting off a long winded argument about who the best detective is. 

“Didn’t you say you would eat me if I spoiled another mystery movie for you? Are you planning to eat my entire family?” Tim croaks quietly. You scrunch your nose, twitching your mouth four times to the left and four and a half times to the right.  “Technically, what I said was ‘I’ll respectfully go back to juvie for cannibalism if you spoil another movie that night’,” you hiss low, trying not to draw attention to your conversation. Unfortunately for you, his siblings have good hearing.  

“And this is different how?” Tim asks, this time not bothering to control his volume. 

“You’ll never figure out the ending,” You say smiling innocently. Tim rolls his eyes and huffs a ‘we’ll see’. It doesn’t wipe the smile off of your face. 

As it turns out, the Wayne Manor theater is less of a theater and more of a bean bag storage closet with a large screen. Jason tosses Tim unceremoniously into one of the random bean bags in front of the couch before gracefully pirouetting into the couch. You chuckle and continue your search for something to put your Bluray in, just now realizing that you should have probably just asked for their Netflix password or something. Alfred appears out of nowhere handing Jason and Cass each a bowl of buttery popcorn and scolding Jason about manhandling his brother in front of  a guest. Jason looks unrepentant. No surprises there. With a swat on  the back of Jason’s head, Alfred turns to you, gloved hands extended out to you.  “I can take that."

“Oh… Uh thanks- Thank you,” you stammer. To your left, Tim snickers and your hand slip, somehow the blanket Babs handed you finds its way to Tim’s face. “Shut up, Ducktective. He’s practically your grandpa and I kinda wanna make a good impression,” you hiss, cheeks warming. Tim coughs, a little dumbfounded. Somehow it hadn’t occurred to him that you were nervous about this. 

Tim checks if his brain is on straight before speaking. “Relax, you haven’t physically assaulted me or any of my family yet so you’re immediately at the top of Alfie’s list.” You open your mouth to speak then curl it into a frown, looking appalled and concerned. Apparently, his brain wasn't on as straight as Tim thought. "Am I going to have to fight your exes? At some point?" 

"No!" 

"Yes!" Steph says, handing you a red bean bag. Tim scowls at Steph as he watches the color drain from your face. She just shrugs and goes off to annoy Dick. 

“Mr. Boddy?” Damian asks incredulously, reading the box summary again. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope,” you laugh, setting your bean bag next to the one Jason dropped Tim in. Damian rolls his eyes. “This is a stupid movie. Do people really consume this drivel?”

You scrunch your nose but don’t put too much heart into glaring. Thankfully, color is now returning to your face. “The movie hasn’t even started yet!”

“Relax (y/n), the tiny mutant sperm is just playing elitist,” Steph says, plopping next to Jason and eyeing his bowlful of buttery popcorn. 

“As long as it isn’t as bad as the Happening-”

“Dude, you live in a city with Poison Ivy. That thing is pretty much a documentary,” Duke says hesitantly taking the spot between Steph and Cass. 

"Please, for the love of Alfie, please, talk about something else," Dick whines, plopping a bean bag next to Tim. Jason’s face twists in confusions before his eyes light up and untwists into an expression with amusement. "Is it because of the-" Dick hits him square in the face with a pillow, all the while screeching "Think of the children!"

"Where, Dickface?" Jason ask, prompting Dick to point(jazz hands)  at Damian who rolls his eyes. Jason does the same, looking younger than the toughened exterior suggested. "That's a gremlin, Dickface. Not a child." 

"He is-"

"SHUSH! The movie is starting!" 

You giggle, curling into Tim's side and placing your head in the crook of his neck where you usually like to put it. Tim's insides shiver from the contact and his hands automatically coil around you, pressing his nose into your hair. 

"Jeez, her melons are big," Babs says flatly taking another handful of Dick's popcorn from Damian. Cass snorts and Tim feels embarrassment creep into his skin. He flicks his eyes to you, only to find you smiling into his side. 

"They're almost as big as Dick's," you chuckle. 

"Nah, Jason is bigger," Cass pipes. 

You eye Jason openly which makes the large man cross his arms over his chest.  "Huh, you're right," you note with more confusion than anything. 

"Bruce has moobs too!" Jason protests, red-faced. 

"Son, why?"

The chatter falls silent when the figure at the edge of the room settles itself into the large leather recliner in one corner of the room. You squint your eyes to distinguish its features from the rest of the shadows in the room; only to be greeted by the solemn features of Bruce Wayne. Your breath catches and you feel your skin jump twenty feet in the air. Everyone else in the room seems to have about the same reaction even as he pulls a lever to raise the foot rest.  You all follow his movements with interest. 

“Is Bruce trying to relax?” Duke whispers to Cass who shrugs in response. Steph rolls her eyes, reaching over Duke to try and snatch some popcorn from Jason who just raises his bowl higher. “Shhhhh, Duke, let the B man try to play human,” she says, snatching at the popcorn til the bowl just falls on Jason’s head. 

“He’s trying I guess.” This draws a startled chuckle out of you that you try to press in Tim’s neck. The vibrations against his skin has him shivering. 

“B, are you ok?” Dick asks. This makes Bruce’s features move in a slightly concerned fashion which in Bruce speak is very concerned. “Yes, why?”

“Ooooh, no reason, old man.” He turns to Babs. “Yeah that’s not Bruce. Five bucks says it’s a robot.” Babs snickers, grabbing a ten from her purse. “Ten says it’s an alien.” You twist to look at them, taking out a twenty. “Twenty says it’s just Mr.Wayne.” Jason sneers at you, taking your money. “You clearly don’t know the old man.”

“Can we please just watch this film in peace?” Bruce groans, running a hand over his face, finally looking more like the long suffering single dad of eight kids that he should be.  Babs looks over her shoulder, slinging Bruce an absolutely disbelieving look. “Do you even know your children?”

“Yes, father, have you even watched us bond?” Damian asks, using his free hand to do air quotes for the word ‘bond’ while using the other to try and swipe some popcorn from Cass. It doesn’t work. 

“That definitely isn’t Bruce,” Dick hisses, trying to shield his own bowl of popcorn  from an irate Damian. 

“SHHHHHH! I can’t hear the movie!”

“It’s definitely the butler,” Dick declares.  Damian scowls, throwing a pillow at him which Dick catches with ease. “Grayson, the movie has barely started.”

“It’s definitely the butler. It’s gotta be. It’s always the butler.”

“That’s very offensive to Alfred, Dick,” Cass says, grinning. Alfred sniffs poshly in his own recliner. Dick recoils but Jason piles on. “Very classist of you, Dickiebird.”

Duke snorts. “Nah, I think he’s just saying it because Tim Curry was Pennywise the Clown.” 

“Why would you trust a clown?” 

“Oh my god, why are you guys comparing Alfred to a clown?”

“We are not!”

“This conversation is a trainwreck,” Tim groans into your hair. “Dunno, Tim, it sounds like a success,” you laugh, pressing closer. His eyes flick between you and his siblings. “You planned this.” You look up at him, failing to flatten a smile. “Nope.”

“I say it’s Ms. Scarlett,” Bruce says, rubbing his chin contemplatively. 

“You’re just saying that cus she reminds you of Selina,” Tim huff, grinning and you’re half tempted to pinch his cheeks. Bruce cuts him a scathing look that has you shrinking; the grin on Tim’s face just broadens which just makes the playful scowl on Bruce’s face deepen. “Need I remind you who pays for the internet?”

“Alfred?” Tim asks, innocently. 

“Careful Tim, B man might actually do it. Hell, he’ll probably do it if he finds out what you did last Thursday.”

“Do you mean the explosion on Fifth?” you ask, turning to Steph.  Steph gives you a firm nod; in the corner of your eye, you can see Bruce arching a brow. Tim gapes at you looking absolutely gutted. “What happened to snitches get stitches?” Tim protests. 

 You shrug, grinning. “Sorry, Duckie, I stand by my cookie dealer. Who do you think sneaks Duke and me cheetos in Western Civilization? I stand by my fellow barbarian.”

“You know Duke?”

“I pay him to-”

“Shhhhh!” 

“You guys are talking too!”

“At least, it’s movie related!” Damian hisses. 

You throw up your hands with an exaggerated flail. “Fine!”

“I say it’s the shifty looking lady,” Jason declares, reaching over Duke and Steph to try and snatch some popcorn from Cass. You wonder why Jason doesn’t just snatch some from Alfred since he’s closer. You try to ask Tim but he just shakes his head at you.  “Ms.Peacock?” Cass asks, shoving Jason’s face away with butter covered fingers.  Duke tries to snatch a few kernels in the confusion only to get his hand swatted. “I think he means Mrs. White,” he says, waving his hand.  “Yeah that one.”

“It’s the butler! It’s always butler!” Dick protests. 

“I will fucking riot if it’s the butler!” Steph shoots back.

“It can’t be the butler.”

“Why not, Dami? He has motive.”

Damian rolls his eyes.“Gordon, why are you siding with Grayson?-” Babs opens her mouth to answer but Damain continues before she can get another syllable out “-nevermind. He doesn’t have as much motive as the rest of them. Besides, does he really look competent enough to hold a gun left alone with a knife?”

Tim raises his chin from your head. “Demon Spawn, your standards for butlers is too high. Alfred is-”

“You say this like you have plenty of references.” 

“Oh, Tommy Terrific, Duckie here is a posh bastard,” Jason sneers ruffling Tim’s hair. From the way, some of his hairs stick up you could guess that he still had some butter in his hand. Tim makes a face of disgust; you try your best to help him with his hair. “Jay, you say that but you’re like Mr. I need the correct type of wood for my bookshelves,” Steph laughs.  “Just because I’m not a slob like the rest of you walking disasters doesn’t mean I’m posh.”

“Yes, it does. You lived here. Yanno with Alfie,” Dick says, pulling out another pack of snacks he’d managed to snag from your bag. You’re not gonna ask at this point. Tim gives you a look which roughly translates to ‘I am very sorry for my trainwreck of a family’. You snort at him before turning towards his sibling. “I mean look at Cass. She’s still feral.” If looks could kill, the look Cass give you would melt your bones. Thankfully, Damian opens his mouth. “They’re all feral.” You have a sense that you’ve also been insulted. You hear Babs to your right laugh derisively. “You say this like you’re any less feral than the rest of us.”

“I am-”

“Are any of you still watching the movie?” Bruce asks and for the second time that night, your body tries to divorce your soul. You had almost forgotten that yes, you are watching Clue with the fucking Batman. You shift in your seat suddenly feeling a twinge of nervousness. Before the discomfort could nestle in you, Jason speaks up. “No, Bruce, we’re just watching Cass vacuum the popcorn into her stomach. What do you think?”

“You guys didn’t ask,” Cass says through a mouthful of popcorn knowing full well that’s a lie. 

“How can any of you be watching it? All you’ve done is talk over the dialogue.” You almost laugh at how exasperated he sounds. Beside you, Tim just snickers and shakes his head. 

Damian just looks at his father from his bean bag next to Dick. “Father, we can talk and listen. ” Dick, like the mature adult that he is, slaps his knee laughing. “I don’t think B is capable of that.”

“PREACH” was followed by a chorus of AMENs. 

"Alfred, what have I done to turn my children against me?" Bruce asks, tiredly leaning back into his recliner. 

"Master Bruce, how would you like me to list it?" 

"Alfred not you too," Bruce groans, putting his hands in his eyes. 

"Yeah! Alfie's on our side!" Jason cheers. 

"Quite."

"Alfie is always the sensible one," Cass chuckles sensibly between bites. You hear varying noises of agreement and Bruce ages from suave debonair to extremely tired single dad. 

"I assume Alfred is actually the boss here."

"Yeah, Bruce is actually on the bottom of the food chain here," Tim says. You tilt your head in  contemplation. "Yanno that makes Batman so much less scary." 

"B-man's just a giant softie," Steph chirps, slinging her legs over Duke and Cass's laps narrowly missing the nearly empty bowl of popcorn. 

Dick turns to you winking. "Yeah, just give him the puppy eyes and he'll  get you anything you want in 2 seconds flat." 

"Dick…" 

"It's true!"

"Even a carnival?" 

"Can we please just watch the movie?" Bruce says, in an almost pleading voice. 

"I wouldn't hold my breath, old man," Jason chuckles, earning a glare from both Bruce and Damian. "It's not like you know how to shut up, Todd." 

"Sorry, I don’t speak gremlin."

"That's bull Jay!" 

"MOVIE IS STILL GOING ON! SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLES." 

“I TOLD YOU IT WAS THE BUTLER.”

“Yes, yes, it has been publiced and noted, Birdie,” you giggle into Tim’s side, shaking your head. He wraps his arm around you, pressing a kiss into your hair, winking at you. “Does it count?” Tim asks over his shoulder. A look passes between him and Cass. “I don’t think so,” she says grinning. 

“It so does! It’s one of the endings,” Dick protests vehemently. Jason’s mouth flattens then curls into a grin. “By that logic, the old man is right too.”

Dick thinks for a moment, tapping his chin. “Well, we can’t have that.”

“Why not?” Bruce protests. 

"I'm still sticking with the butler. I'm sorry this is the only logical conclusion." 

"He wasn't even an actual butler you butter brain!" Steph protests, throwing a pillow at Dick. 

"I'm sorry but can we address why you're all mounting a mutiny against me?" 

"Teenage rebellion!" Dick answers. 

"Chum, you're not even a teenager." 

"Father's right. At most, Grayson is five years old," Damian pipes from beside Dick seemingly unaffected by his brother's pout. 

"Alfred, you're going to have to check my blood pressure before patrol." 

"Quite, sir."

“They’re all so dramatic just like you said,” you whisper into Tim’s shoulder. 

“I AM NOT DRAMATIC”

“Ah, yes, because the pretty man pose is so pragmatic.” Damian deadpan.  

"That was one time, you assholes!" 

"Hey, what else did Timmy say?" 

"Well he- Oh wait!" You fish out your phone and Tim snacthes it away faster than you can blink. "No-" cough "-you don't." Cough. 

Jason snatches it from him, snickering at the photo of Tim kissing you on the cheek. You're pretty sure Tim has a matching photo with you kissing him on the cheek. "Nice lockscreen, (y/n)."

"Oh, you should see the homescreen!" 

"No. Please don't. You might need eye bleach." 

"Relax Space Cadet, it’s not that one." 

"Ohohoho, what didn't you want big daddy bats to see? Haaa, Timbo?" 

Tim turns every shade of red before settling on fire hydrant red. "None of your business!"

Bruce clears his throat, looking at a stupidly expensive watch. “It’s time.” Dick springs up, stretching and showing off.  “Is it really that time already?” Steph asks in almost a whine. Duke and Cass take the opportunity to shove her off and sadly, she lands with a loud thud and a mangled curse. You wince but laugh unsympathetically which simply earns you a face full of dust covered popcorn. You frown at her and she grins at you as Jason hauls her up by her hoodie. “C’mon Blondie. Let’s leave the love birds alone.”

“It’s not like they’re actually gonna be alone. Alfie’s here. So is Babs.”

“I’m going back to my place. You people give me a headache.” 

“You say that like you weren’t having fun,” Dick teases, walking after her. 

“I’ll be down in the cave if you need me,” Alfred says waving at both of you. “Will do, Alf,” Tim yawns, nuzzling into your hair. 

Cass pops her head back in. “Make sure Tim doesn’t do anything stupid,” She calls back. You grin, bright and wolfish. “Don’t worry! He can’t do me while he’s sick.” You hear Bruce choke in the hall and you just know that you’ll mentally kick yourself for that later. Luckily for you, Tim physically kicks you now. “What the hell?!” Cough. “Sorry, got caught in the moment.” You huff, trying to look a little sorry. Tim just glares more. “You’re not even close to sorry.”

“Ok. Yeah.”

“I have no idea why I love you sometimes.”

“My amazing personality?”

“Sure.”

“Love you too, Tim,” you chirp, kissing him. Tim’s lips feel hot after the quick peck and he pulls you closer. “I love you but I was pretty sure my family was gonna eat you alive.”

“They would have done it,” you hum, pausing before adding, “respectfully.”  

  Tag list: @batarella, @anothertimdrakestan, @lucy-roo, @multifandomgirl-us, @idkmanicantenglish,@birdy-bat-writes,  @boosyboo9206, @americasmarauders , @l-inkage, @arestorationofbalance , @cloudie-skay, @wunderstell   @hyp-oh-critical @glorified-red

[vivian24l]

DamiraeWeek2021

Day One: Family/In-laws

The Second Wayne Reunion

Damian tapped his fingers against the wheel.

“Anxious?” asked Raven.

“You know how last year turned out. I was surprised Father agreed to another reunion this year.”

One year ago, Dick had come up with the idea of having a family reunion. He had invited the whole Wayne family together under one roof once again. The results of the party didn’t end so well. Dick clearly wanted to make the reunions annual, because he once again invited everyone.

Damian took another left. They had to drive across Gotham to reach Wayne Manor. After getting married, he and Raven bought a stretch of land on the other side of Gotham. Together they designed their house and hired people to build it.

Damian let out a sigh. “That bastard, Grayson.”

“Language,” said Raven.

He glanced at the rear view mirror. Their daughter, Rashida, was asleep in the back. Although, she could be pretending. Rashida is an intelligent child, more mature than her actual age. However, she does tend to do dangerous things.

They pulled up at Wayne Manor at long last. Rashida woke up instantly.

“We're here!” she announced. The five year old got out of their car immediately to stretch her legs.

“Rae! Watch this!” shouted Mar’i. She flew up into the sky while Rae watched from the ground. Mar’i shot a green starbolt at a low cloud. The cloud lit up in green light before evaporating into thin air.

“Impressive,” commented Rae. She joined her cousin in the air. The two girls turned the clouds green and purple.

Sitting in deck chairs, Raven and Koriand’r watched the kids flying around.

“Did you teach her that?” questioned Raven.

Kori let out a laugh. “Of course not, Mar’i and Jacob discovered it. Speaking of Jacob, where is he?”

It was Raven’s turn to laugh. “I saw him with Jackson, they were building something out of Legos. How do you not know what your son is doing?”

“I’ve been very busy lately,” Kori defended herself.

“Hey sisters! Mind if I join you?” Stephanie didn’t wait for an answer, she took a seat in a chair across from Kori. “Cass and Babs will be here with the food in a few minutes.”

“Is Valkyrie joining us this year?” asked Kori.

“She sure is! Val better not drop out last minute,” said the blonde. “I can’t believe Dick allowed her to skip last year. I mean, like seriously? This is a family reunion and therefore Val can not be missing out.”

“She was on a mission,” said Raven. “Then again, you can’t blame her, this family can be quite a handful.”

“Makes me wonder how we are able to put up with them,” joked Stephanie.

-

“How’s the cooking going?” asked Raven.

Damian turned around to face his wife. “Fairly well,” he answered.

Raven nodded. She took in the scene. Pots and pans were on the stove. A large bowl of lettuce sat on the counter. Nearby stood a container of tofu, waiting to be opened.

“Where’s Richard? I thought he’d be cooking as well,” said Raven.

Damian let out a “tt”. He stirred the soup inside a large pot. “Grayson left an hour ago, he said something about napkins.”

“You do know that not everyone here is vegetarian, correct?” questioned Raven as she noticed that there wasn’t a single speck of meat in any of the dishes.

“I also know that they will have to pay for making me cook a meal for twenty people.”

“21, actually,” corrected Raven. “Valkyrie’s running late.”

“And there I thought she would skip like last year.”

Raven grabbed a spare apron. “I suppose it’s up to me to save everyone from eating tofu turkey tonight.”

“How heroic.”

-

“Mother? Father?” called Rashida.

“We’re in the kitchen, ibna,” answered Damian.

“What are you making?” Rashida stood on the tip of her toes and watched as Raven mixed together the stuffing for the turkey.

“Dinner. Would you like to help, love?” asked Raven.

“Actually I can not,” said Rashida.

“And why is that?”

“Mar’i and I are in need of some pots. We’re going to make popcorn the old fashioned way! But instead of making a fire, we’ll be heating it with our powers,” explained Rashida..

“Is anyone supervising you?” asked Damian.

“Of course, Uncle Jason’s helping us.” Rashida pulled a large pot out of the cabinet. “This will do perfectly,” she said. “Good luck on your cooking!”

“Should I be concerned that Jason is overseeing their popcorn-making?” asked Damian.

“You should have some faith in him,” said Raven.

-

“I think we’re done here,” said Raven.

Damian nodded. “This should be enough food for the whole family, including leftovers for everyone to take home.”

They have made a total of twelve different dishes, two-thirds of which are plant-based. Raven have also made five different types of pastries for dessert.

They left the kitchen to join the rest of the family in the living room. Selina was reading a book to her grandchildren. Rashida, however, was not with her cousins, she was throwing knives with her uncle. They took turns throwing from different positions, each time getting bullseye on the target board.

“Why couldn’t our daughter have some non-violent interests,” sighed Raven.

Damian smiled. “She’s the granddaughter of the first Batman and Trigon, and great granddaughter of Ra’s Al Ghul. And I should add that her adoptive grandfather also happens to be Superman. So I would say that throwing a few knives is perfectly fine.”

“I just want her to have a childhood full of peace and innocence, unlike ours,” Raven murmured.

“She is habibti, she is.” Damian held his wife close. They seated themselves on the couch and silently watched the scene before them.

The peace in the room could not be contained for long. Dick burst through the door holding a large bag.

“Guess what I got?” he sang.

Rashida didn’t even spare her uncle a glance. “A bag full of games,” she answered.

“Uh, yeah. Great guess, Rae,” stuttered Dick. It still intrigued him how she knew what was inside. Well she is her parents’ daughter.

Dick laid out the contents on the table. There was a wide variety of games from classic card games to Twister.

The doorbell rang as soon as he took out the last game.

“That must be Val!” Kori rose to answer the door.

A minute later, the said woman arrived in the room. She could’ve been a younger version of Cassandra, except her features are more sharp. The youngest of the Wayne siblings, Valkyrie was adopted at the age of thirteen. That was ten years ago.

She came just like her oldest adoptive brother, holding a large bag. All the kids, including Rashida, ran over to see what was inside.

“Alright, settle down first,” Valkyrie said. She pulled out four colorfully wrapped boxes and handed one to each of the kids.

Mar’i opened her box and gasped in surprise. “Thank you so much Aunt Val! They’re beautiful.” The twelve year old has received silver bracelets, similar to her mother’s, but with detailed markings on them.

When Jackson opened his box, his jaw dropped. Inside was a Build-Your-Own 3-Dimensional Holographic Projector. “Thank you Aunt Val!” said the eight year old.

Jacob’s gift was eight limited edition action figurines. “How did you-? How is this-?” The boy was so shocked to see eight expensive figurines, that were probably worth a hundred dollars each, in front of him.

“I have my ways, little one,” answered Valkyrie.

“Thank you so much,” he said, giving Valkyrie a big hug.

“Your welcome, and please I’d like some personal space.”

Rashida slowly opened her box. Inside was a white cloak. The fabric was quite unusual. It was soft, stretchy, thin, and light. Yet the fabric also felt strong, and sturdy. The bright ruby glowed in the golden clasp. Unlike Raven’s cloak, this one had sleeves. The hems and cuffs of the cloak were embroidered with intricate designs. Rashida slipped on the cloak, it fitted perfectly. “Thank you, Aunt Valkyrie,” said the five year old.

“There are no gifts for your siblings? Wow, how kind of you,” spoke up Jason.

Valkyrie smiled. “Of course not, only ones for the kids,” she pulled out two more boxes, “and the parents.”

Selina and Bruce gave her their thanks then  proceeded to open their gift. Silent received a full set of cat themed jewelry, while Bruce received a grey tie.

“I actually needed a new tie,” he said.

[daemoninwhiteround2]

The idea of alpha Tim being like “ah my good friend Kon who is gorgeous and powerful and completely amazing, I’m so lucky to have a great friend” and of course is a little in love with Kon, but who isn’t it? He’d never dare presume or try to force his feelings like a brute! He’s happy to have such a wonderful friend! Meanwhile omega Kon is like “Tim, notice me, Tim, I love you, like romantically, I want your knot and mating bite, Tim, I am giving you my jacket to cover in you in my scent, not because of any pure hearted intentions” out here knowing this is his alpha, how on earth to get his alpha to see the same light? came to be in a random thought and won’t leave me alone

Bart is watching with popcorn and cackling at these two pining idiots

Anon, your mind!!

Tim hangs the jacket up with tender care, takes a moment to admire how it looks nestled amongst the others.

Someone snorts behind him and although he knows it'll just feed into their, their delusions, Tim's incapable of stopping his shoulders from tensing defensively.

"Friends, huh?" Jason asks, derision dripping from every syllable.

"Yes," Tim rejoins, keeps his head high as he sails past further into his apartment. "Did you have a reason for being here? Because if not, I'm-"

"Tim!" Dick cries as he sticks his head out of the kitchen. "You're back!"

Tim's steps stutter and he can feel Jason at his back. He fights to keep his face smooth even as he's feeling increasingly like he's being herded.

"Dick. What are you two doing here?" he repeats.

"Can't an older brother come hang out with his younger brothers?"

Tim raises an eyebrow. "I'd maybe believe that of you, Dick, but we spent most of yesterday together. And you brought Jason."

His and Jason's relationship is a lot better than it was, but they'll never be at the casually-dropping-by-one-another's-houses level.

"Ah, well," Dick ducks back into the kitchen and, from the sound of it, riffles through Tim's cutlery drawer. He emerges with a tray covered in little containers and bowls, a pile of forks and spoons in the middle. "I thought," he walks past Tim, forces Tim to take a couple of steps back to give him enough room, and goes into Tim's living room. "Maybe we could watch a movie?"

Tim follows Dick, Jason close enough behind him that Tim can smell him. Jason actually has a nice scent, once Tim got used to the acrid trace of the Lazarus Pit that threads through it, but Tim still presses his nose to his shirt collar to inhale the echo of Kon's scent that got passed along from the jacket.

He thinks he disguises it well enough, lifting his arm, making it look like he's wiping his face on his shoulder, but Jason scoffs behind him.

"Gotta go with the intervention first, Big Bird. Timmers' got it bad."

"Intervention?"

"Jason!"

Tim and Dick exclaim in tandem.

Jason snorts at them and throws himself into the couch, which creaks alarmingly. "We both know you didn't buy it."

He leans forward and starts opening containers. The savoury, spicy smell of chilli fills the air and Tim instantly starts to salivate.

He narrows his eyes, swallows, and weighs up the possibility that Jason has done some sort of Pavlovian experiment on him up against the possibility that Jason's cooking is just that good.

In all honesty it's probably a bit of column a, a big of column b.

He sighs and settles into an armchair that's close enough to the coffee table that he won't have to get up to get refills. "I don't need an intervention."

Jason points a fork at him. "Kid, you kind of do."

Welp. There's Jason's I'm-giving-you-a-hard-truth tone.

"I don't," Tim mutters into his chilli and shoves a massive spoonful into his mouth.

Fuck that's good.

Dick shoots Jason a glare. "Jason's not right - but he's not totally wrong either, Tim. What are you doing with Conner?"

Tim glares into his bowl, stirs it around needlessly. If he had to have this conversation with anyone in his family, these two are probably the best to have it with: he would've flung himself out the window, suit or no suit, if Bruce or Damian were here, and Steph and Cass would probably just encourage him.

He pushes down the voice that mocks him for wanting his ex, and his ... Conner's ex here to encourage him.

There's a long beat of silence as they allow him to chew and swallow the chilli he has in his mouth.

"There's nothing between us," he bites out.

"You're wearing his jacket, Tim," Dick says, all carefully and soft and Tim has the brief, blinding urge to throw the bowl of chilli directly at his face.

"Don't fucking talk down to me," he snaps, temper and scent flaring.

Dick leans back and Jason's scent swells up. Tim knows it's an instinctive response to angry alpha, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't work.

He sighs. "Just - don't know? I'm not a kid or a victim you have to handle."

They sit in silence for long enough that Tim is almost at the bottom of his bowl.

"I'm just worried about you, Tim. I - uh, I know what it's like, to want an omega who doesn't want you."

Tim looks at the two of them. Jason's chasing the last bits of his chilli. Dick's looking at Tim. Tim knows that it would never occur to Jason that Dick's talking about him, and from the way Dick's eyes dart to Jason and go sad, just for a moment... Yeah, there's been no improvement on that front.

"It's not worth it," Jason offers.

Tim bites back the first rejoinder that comes to mind, that of course Conner is worth any wait, any pain, any longing.

From the way a muscle in Dick's jaw visibly twitches, and Dick looks away to look out Tim's window... Tim thinks he might agree.

"You can't just wait forever. That's not fair to you or Conner." Jason looks directly at him and Tim, to his shame, is startled by the depth of regret in his eyes. "Pining forever after someone who doesn't want you - it just hurts you. Conner probably misses having his friend around." He lounges back against the sofa and smirks at Tim as though to cover the lasp in visible emotion. "Either shit or get off the pot."

"Vivid," Tim says dryly.

Jason snorts.

Dick looks at Jason in silence, his face inscrutable.

There's a long beat of silence again before Tim leans forward, refills his bowl and turns on the TV. He offers the remote to the others but they both decline, so he just flips through the Netflix catslogue until he finds something appropriately mindless and settles in to watch a movie with his brothers.

--

"I gave him my fucking jacket Bart and he just thanked me and left!"

Bart crosses that one off their list.

"I swear, I'm just going to strip naked in front of him and tell him to fuck me."

The way they're going, even that won't work.

[herstarburststories]

Important Milestones (Damian Wayne x reader)

✾ Summary: An intimate look through your and Damian's relationship. Requested! It’s been a hot bit since I wrote for Damian, so I hope this one is good!

↼❈⇁

First meeting

Dick was taking Damian to the circus

Add a long conversation and lots of "Yeah, Dami. I'm sure the animals are treated well-- Actually, animals aren't allowed in legal circus anymore. You don't have to worry."

They were watching the show, and Damian couldn’t believe that Grayson was so excited about clowns

Damian excused himself to get some food

Dick asked him to get a hotdog, but Damian will bring him popcorn #beaveg

Thing is, you and Damian arrived the food trunk at the same time

Which leaded to an argument

Y/N: I got here first!

Damian: You are not on the line!

Y/N: Because you almost ran over me!

You two kept going long enough for a worried Dick to show up

How to trust each other

You know when you've never seen a person before, but once you lay your eyes on them, you start seeing their face in every crowd?

That's basically you and Damian

How come you didn't know the idiot from the circus was also the Wayne guy that studied with you?

How he, with Talia and Batman's observation skills, never noticed you walking around Gotham's School and now he always caught a sight of you?

You and Damian quickly fall into a weird routine:

Glare each other during lunch

Rolls your eyes when the others was talking in class

Annoy each other whenever you had the chance

Jon teased him a lot

Talking about Superboy...

He seemed off in the morning and he hadn't showed up for lunch like he always did

Damian decided to look for his best friend

Surprisingly, he found Jon crying in your arms in the middle of the chemistry laboratory

You just looked at Damian and nodded for him to come in

Y/N: His parents had a big fight. I found him here alone and thought I could help. Since you are here, guess I'll go.

Damian: You can stay. I mean, Jon probably could use your emotional assistance.

Damian still finds you annoying (and so do you), but you helped his friend

He trust you... A bit

Recognize your feelings

Damian came to school one day. He is clearly hurt-- he couldn’t even walk straight

Jon remained quiet. He was there when the week's villain throw Damian against a wall as if he was a bag of potatoes

But you don't know about the Robin detail

Besides, you are sort of a trinity with them now

Therefore, you worry

And you ask

And you worry some more

It's been a few weeks since your friendship started. Damian trusts you, he really does, but not enough to tell you

Let's keep in mind that pretty much like Bruce, Damian isn't the best when it comes to expressing his feelings through anything but violence

So, he acts like an idiot

Y/N: Damian, come on. I'm not stupid enough to believe you’d fall hard enough to get yourself hurt like this. Talk to me.

Damian: Stop pushing your need to fix everything on me, Y/N. You are not my mother. Don't waste your worry on me, I don't need it.

You realized you liked him when you felt way more worried than you usually would

But Damian just noticed his cherish for you when you glared at him with evident hurt in your eyes and left the table

He just wanted you back, making silly jokes with Jon and stealing his fries

Kiss me, idiot

Two days

48 hours + 12 minutes since you two fought

A whole weekend

LISTEN, his life was going perfectly well before you came along

Now it seems like you opened a spot that's exactly your fit and put yourself there

Whenever you aren't around, Damian feels this weird sensation of missing

Jon convinces him into talking to you

As soon as he sees you in school, he does

Apologize becomes another argument (surprise, surprise)

Damian: Why do you care so much?!

Y/N: Because I like you, idiot!

Damian: You, you like me? As in--

Then you kiss him

Because, let's be clear, you'd end up kissing or punching him

Finding out he's Robin

It's the most stupid way possible

Like, for real

Last night, his Robin's duties kept Damian up until 5am

Instead of leaving his clothes inside the Batcave as usual, he just crumbled to his bed

The sun arrived and so did you

School project

While Damian was out to grab some books, you were studying his room

A picture of him and Jon. Some papers with Arabian words. A dog's bed. Robin suit. A sword

Wait, come back

A. Robin. Suit.

Damian Wayne was many things, but cosplayer certainly wasn't on the list

The pieces glued together fast

A rich family would make sense: Batman and Robin's instruments never looked cheap. Four Robins existed among the years, and Damian had 3 brothers. Not to mention that he'd show up with random scratches and never explain what happened. He was good with swords, and the current Robin had been seen with them a lot of times. Besides, Damian Wayne would never wear a costume willingly, much less keep one in his room

He walks inside the room to see you wearing his cape and mask

Y/N: Guess I'm robin' your persona, huh? Wanna tell me something?

Meeting the family

You come from a big family

Good thing because anybody else would be scared if they were in your shoes

MESS, MESS, MESS

Dick is smiling like a crazy all the time, and making dad jokes

Tim is teasing Damian by asking you to blink twice if you need saving

Jason is directly fighting Damian and calling him devil spawn

Bruce is quietly watching everyone with a subtle smile on his lips. He asks you a few questions, and occasionally asks the boys to behave before answering his phone and excusing himself

Babs, Steph and Cassandra come in later

Now the teasing is divided between you and Damian and Steph and Tim

You tease them a lot, blushing Tim is adorable

You are wearing purple boots, and Steph already loves you for that

Dick tells Babara about you being aware of the family secret

She offered to train you for some self-defense

YOU ACCEPTED, DUH. SHE IS THE BATGIRL!!

Cass is more quiet, but very friendly

Alfred was the first batfam member that you'd met, though (also your fav)

You try (key word being try) to help him in the kitchen

Batcow became your best friend, sorry Jon

You met the Titan family as well

Now you had munition to tease Dick as much as he teased you and Damian

Thank you, Kory

Also, Kor is a real life alien princess, how cool is that!?

Beast Boy is the funniest guy -- and now you are pretty sure you became a vegetarian because you can't eat animals after seeing his transformation

Raven reminds you of Cass

Donna is so powerful, and she knows so many languages!

You get along with his two families

Although Damian rolls his eyes a lot during y'all interaction, he is really happy

First kid

You and Damian are in university when it happens

You both know it's a big step

There's no turning back, you two will always be connected

Damian and you are now responsible, parents

Of the cutest bunny!

Yep, you insisted on naming him Robin

The first kid you both adopted together

Get on your knees for me

Damian isn't much of a romantic

You don't really mind

But when he proposes, it's the sweetest thing

You two had ordered some veggie food to celebrate the end of your finals

Finally a break!

Damian was holding you on the couch as you both watched one of your favorite movies when Robin, the bunny showed up

Y/N: Batbunny, just because we have vegan food, it doesn't mean you can get some. Go eat your lettuce.

Damian: Beloved, maybe you should see what he brought for you.

The bunny had a necklace wrapped around him!!

And the said necklace was attached to a ring!!

A FUCKING DIAMOND!?

Extra of love:

You became a vigilant for a bit before deciding how you truly wanted to help people

Besides charity, you became a lawyer specialized in cases of racism and immigration

Your and Damian's wedding was a mix of your culture and his

Comment/Reblog if you liked it, feedback is magic! Wanna see more? Check my Masterlist! How about get tagged on my batboys or just Damian works? Ask me or add yourself to my taglist!

[watchtower-feed]

Waynesitter’s Runaway Bats

✧ Sometimes your job requires you to go on little excursions to drag back some family runaways. And when Alfred says little, it means Bruce intends for you to borrow the Batmobile.

✧ “Uhh… Thanks. But I’ll just use Tim’s Prius.”

✧ “Y/N, I insist.”

✧ “Mr. Wayne. I’d rather be bringing home your son and not another Arkham escapee.”

✧ Sometimes the others tag along with you when they’re awake, still alive, or generally just bored.

✧ “Oh my god, Tim. You have the worst songs.”

✧ “Apart from being dead weight in my car, Jason, what else are you good for?”

✧ “Tch. Y/N, Jason brought a gun again.”

✧ “Jason, I swear to god if you fire that gun you better shoot me first.”

✧ Whenever Dick runs away, he always goes to Amusement Mile, Gotham’s entertainment district, where Haley’s Circus used to be. When something really bad happens, Dick would actually leave town to follow the Circus’ tour. But for now, you pull over by the boardwalk.

✧ “Stay in the car.”

✧ “What if there’s trouble?”

✧ “I’ll light up a bat signal.”

✧ “Harhar, Y/N.”

✧ You quickly find Dick inside the large tent just sitting in the middle of the ring. He always greets you with a sheepish smile and pursed lips.

✧ “Time to go back already?”

✧ “I have two volatile children and Tim stuck in a Prius so…”

✧ Dick laughs and slowly gets up. “Okay.” When he reaches you, he stops and rests his head on your shoulder. You hear him sigh and quietly say, “I don’t know what I’m doing, Y/N. I’m no leader.”

✧ It’s one of those days. One when all the responsibility is on Dick’s shoulders and he feels like no one taught him how to be an adult. Not his parents. Not Bruce or Alfred. He still feels like a child. Most of the time you think he’s more a child than Damian. But the innocent kind. Not the murder you in your sleep kind. Or the annoying brat kind in general.

✧ “Y/N.”

✧ “Oh, sorry. I spaced out.”

✧ “Y/N!” he chuckles, “this is supposed to be the part where you say something that’ll motivate me to do the right thing.”

✧ “The right thing? I don’t even know the difference between laundry detergent and fabric conditioner. They both just clean clothes, right?” 

✧ He laughs. “Right.”

✧ “But Dick… No one’s ever going to say the exact thing you need to hear because only you know what that is. You just have to be patient with yourself and continue to listen to your gut. The fact that you’re here means you feel like you did something wrong. So it’s time to go and fix it.”

✧ As far as your speeches go, persuading Dick to go home is the easiest. But when it comes to Tim, you need to be a bit more creative. Or diabolical.

✧ “Uh, Robin. Your babysitter’s here to see you.”

✧ “Don’t let--”

✧ “Thanks, Beast Boy. Next time you’re in Gotham I’ll give you a tour of the cave. Oh hey, Tim. Fancy seeing you here.”

✧ “You’re in San Francisco. You’re at the Titans Tower. You know I would be here.”

✧ “Really? But why would you be all the way here when they need you in Gotham? BB just told me--”

✧ “BB??”

✧ “-- that the other Titans are home for the summer. Like you should be. Suspicious.”

✧ “Why are you here, Y/N?”

✧ You smile and take out a small folder from your bag. “I need help with Chemistry--”

✧ “Chemistry? You’re a lit maj-- Wait a minute… These are the compounds for Scarecrow’s fear toxin.”

✧ “Nope. Look at the bonding element.”

✧ “... It’s... It’s a mutation of Joker’s laughing gas!”

✧ Of course, once you get back, you’ll tell Tim you just fudged elements together and you’re surprised and proud of yourself for making up a whole new deadly chemical. By then, Damian or Jason is ready to apologize to Tim just like you practiced.

✧ On the other side of the spectrum, the least bat you have to worry about is Cass. Whenever she goes missing it’s the only time you volunteer to bring a Wayne back. Only because you always find her sitting on your couch hugging a bowl of popcorn.

✧ “What series are we binging tonight, Y/N?”

✧ “Legends of Tomorrow? It’s about a group of misfit superheroes who fixes history. You might recognize a few costumes.”

✧ Cass recognizes all of them. Sometimes you forget that Cass isn’t a civilian and she’s even more of a vigilante than the boys. That this is what most her life has been and she has no inclination to quit it.

✧ “Can I live with you?”

✧ “You can’t, Cass. You’ll know all my bad habits and then you won’t want to be my friend.”

✧ “You’re more than a friend, Y/N. You’re family.”

✧ “Oh god. I mean no offense, Cass. I love you, but the only reason you’re always trying to kill each other is because you’re family. I don’t want to be in your Lord of the Flies.”

✧ Cass doesn’t really get it. “They know every bad thing about me… but they still want me.”

✧ “Oh.”

✧ Cass is the most observant person you know. She knows exactly how the family feels about her and they would move Earths for her. But having never experienced any kind of love growing up and then jumping into their unconditional love, it shocks you and leaves you anxious about the day when the dream is over.

✧ “You can live with me one day but you gotta pay rent. I’m not letting you mooch off of me.”

✧ Cass smiles at you. You turn back to the TV and she curls up beside you all night before you take her home in the morning.

✧ Jason’s another one that’s easy to find. He always holes up in his own apartment because no one in his family would dare bother him there when he’s in a mood. This is one of those moments when you’re glad you’re not family.

✧ “Open up, Zombie boy!”

✧ “When are you going to stop calling me that?”

✧ “When you go to a derma and finally get rid of those autopsy scars. Seriously, Jason, they’re unsettling.”

✧ Jason touches his chest and then stays quiet the whole time you settle yourself in his apartment. With Jason, there are no words or tricks to play. Whenever he’s seen too much of the family he just needs time and distance. You’re only there to shorten that time and make sure the distance stays within city limits.

✧ “Can you sing it again?”

✧ But Jason makes you pay the highest price. Ever since he heard you whistle and sing The Dancing and the Dreaming from How to Train Your Dragon 2, he always asks you to sing it when he’s not particularly feeling high on his horse. So how could you refuse?

✧ “Sure. But could we not do a duet this time? It makes me feel like we’re having a Viking wedding.”

✧ “Damian would love that.”

✧ It’s bad. If Jason doesn’t fight you for that duet and just wants to close his eyes and listen, then something really bad happened. So you sing while you watch Jason relax in his chair. You maintain a slow tempo throughout the whole song.

✧ When Jason finally opens his eyes, tears slip through. He’s staring at you with wide eyes and he touches his cheeks, wondering why they’re wet. Your lips quiver and you bite them before you approach Jason and wipe his cheeks.

✧ “Was my singing that bad?”

✧ Jason blows on your face and laughs even though he’s still crying.

✧ You didn’t really know what to do when Alfred told you Damian ran back home. Isn’t this his home? But when you’re strapped in the batplane with the Batman, especially since he’s also your boss, you can’t really opt out anymore.

✧ “Mr. W-- Er Batman? Is it really smart to bring civilian me to the base of one of your mortal enemies?”

✧ “The League knows all of our identities--”

✧ “Yeah, but I think I’d feel a lot safer in a bullet-proof costume like yours. No offense.”

✧ “They use swords here, Y/N.”

✧ “Oh… kevlar can’t stop that?”

✧ When you arrive, the fortress is even more intimidating and terrifying than you imagined. You stick close to Batman, clutching his cape, and warily eye the assassins clad in all black, stationed at almost every corner.

✧ “It sort of feels like the cave. Maybe if you trained more bats, you can finally get some sleep or go to your 10 AM meetings.”

✧ Batman can’t suppress his grin. “Do you really want more of them to take care of?”

✧ “I would quit. Or make you quadruple my salary.”

✧ When you finally see Damian after several days of his disappearance, you forget yourself and run to him, only to be met with the hilt of a sword an inch away from your neck.

✧ Damian’s eyes widen when he realizes it’s you and drops his sword. He looks horrified. Quickly forgetting your own shock, you bend down and pick him up to hold him tight in your arms. You can feel him sobbing against your shoulder.

✧ “Beloved. I see you’ve started involving your servants in your crusade.”

✧ “Don’t be jealous, Talia. She’s only family.”

✧ “Damian,” you whisper. “Ready to go home? I might need your help in stopping Bruce from adopting me.”

✧ Damian sniffs. “That mustn’t happen if we’re going to be married in the future.”

✧ You don’t leave Damian’s side until you get back to the manor. You stay later just to lie beside him in his bed until he falls asleep. You’re brushing his hair when a thought comes to you. “You know, in the future, maybe run away to Paris. I hear they have an old cave network there. It might take me days or weeks to bring you home.”

✧ Damian scoffs and smiles. He turns to his other side, away from you. “Y/N, I’m trying to sleep.”

✧ “Yeah, but think about it okay? What are you doing tomorrow?”

Notes: Here’s that version of the song YN sings to Jason. Fair warning, it’s a Drarry animation.

✧ Watchtower Masterlist ✧

[phis-corner]

wild

Another prompt for @jasonette-july-2k20​, also cross-posted on Ao3 under the name m3owww. The other prompt fills are also on there.

“We’re going to the zoo!” Dick announces. “Everybody is mandated to come. Otherwise, Oracle’s locking you out of all your devices for a month. And by everybody, I mean everyone who dons a costume at night to beat people up.”

Marinette groans. This is not going to go well.

Scene I: The Giraffes

“Hey, it’s the giraffes!” Steph exclaims. “Woah, those are really tall.”

“We would have to stack three Damians to reach the height of one female giraffe.” Tim remarks, clutching a large thermos of coffee.

Damian snarls. “Do you wish to die, Drake?” Bruce snatches Damian’s backpack from him before he can pull out his knives.

Jason pokes Marinette in the side. “Male giraffes are eleven feet. If you stood on my shoulders, we’d be around that height.”

“Yes, yes, I know. Call me short, Jay. But I could easily punch you in the groin if I wanted.” Marinette grumbles. She pointedly ignores the commotion next to her. 

Damian has tackled Tim, Dick is trying to pull him off, Steph is cheering him on, and Cass is happily watching the giraffes. Bruce is rummaging through Damian’s backpack and grimacing at the amount of weapons the child packed.

Go figure.

Scene II: Elephants

“Well, this kind of stinks.” Jason remarks, as the baby elephant in front of them decides to take a poo. They all collectively gag as the smell wafts their way.

“Let’s just move on.” Bruce decides, and the group starts walking, except for Damian.

“Five more minutes, Father.” The boy commands. “It is too adorable to leave.”

Marinette has never been more glad that she always brings face masks around. She hands one to Jason and puts the other on. At least this muffles most of the scent.

Bruce sighs. “Damian-”

“Five minutes, Father.” He hisses dangerously.

“Guess we’re stuck here.” Tim says sadly. “It’s going to be a long five minutes.”

Scene III: Reptile House

“Mari! Look here! It’s a Burmese Python!” Jason calls, pointing to a massive snake coiled in one of the terrariums.

Marinette shudders. “Eugh, these creep me out. Guess I use the mouse miraculous too much. I just hope we can move on soon.”

“This snake is beautiful.” Damian declares, gesturing at a King Cobra. “I wish to keep it as a pet.”

“Little D, this is a zoo!” Dick chastises. “Not an animal shelter with pets up for adoption!”

“Are you crazy? That’s the longest venomous snake in the world!” Tim shrieks.

Damian sniffs. “Precisely, Drake. I wish to train it to attack you, just as I have with all my other pets.”

“You- what?” Tim splutters. “That’s why none of the animals like me? I’m changing your Wifi password.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

Steph walks up to Marinette and Jason, holding out a tub of popcorn. “Want some?”

“Thanks.” Marinette reaches for the popcorn, then freezes. “Wait. Where’d you get this?”

The blonde grins. “I have Cass on my side. Anything is possible.”

“Speaking of which,” Jason frowns. “Where is she?”

Scene IV: Butterfly House

Dick shrieks as another butterfly flaps past his head. “I swear, these things are trying to kill me!”

“Tt, don’t be stupid, Grayson. They are harmless creatures.” Damian scoffs.

Marinette hums thoughtfully. “I mean, most butterflies are, but if they’re actually the demonic purple butterflies sent by a crazy fashion designer with a magical brooch to prey on negative emotions and turn people into colorful monsters with ridiculous powers that I spent three years fighting, then we’re in trouble.”

Jason blinks. “Sometimes, I forget how crazy your life was.”

“Yeah, I wish I could do that.” Marinette sighs. “Gabriel was a dick.”

Tim raises his camera and snaps a picture of Steph giggling as a butterfly makes itself at home in her hair.

Bruce almost-smiles. “At least no one’s trying to kill each other here. Everyone is- wait.” He scans the house, frowning.

“Guys, have any of you seen Cass?”

Scene V: Penguins

As it turns out, Cass went off to buy a slushy. She joins them at the penguin exhibit and watches gleefully as Bruce tries to interrogate the poor birds. Tim is filming the entire thing on his camera.

“Have you ever had any association with the Gotham villain known as Penguin in the past?”

“Squawk.”

“What, exactly, is your connection to the criminal otherwise known as Oswald Cobblepot?”

“Squawk?”

“Answer my question!” Bruce growls at the birds.

Jason’s shoulders are shaking with silent laughter, and Marinette stifles a giggle.

“Father, these are-”

“Silence, Damian! I am interrogating the moles that Penguin planted at the zoo.”

One especially brave penguin waddles right up to Bruce, leaving only a few inches of space in between their faces.

They engage in a silent staring contest.

Then…

“SQUAWK!” The penguin screeches in Bruce’s face. Being the Batman, he doesn’t startle (very much) and simply growls as the penguin dives into the water, chirping happily.

“Get back here! I wasn’t done yet!”

Scene VI: Tigers

The orange and black-striped feline elegantly prowls towards the group, heading straight for Cass, who beams and reaches her hand out to press up against the glass. The tiger nuzzles into the wall between them, and Cass frowns.

Captive. She signs. Free?

“This tiger was born in captivity.” Bruce says. “She wouldn’t survive in the wild. And for future reference, none of you are allowed to free the zoo animals.”

Dick sighs. “Aw, come on B, Dami and I had our heist already halfway planned!”

“This tiger is beautiful.” Damian states. “She is graceful in a way that humans cannot master.”

“What about Cass?” Jason points out. “She’s just as graceful as the tiger.”

Cass smiles, pleased. Thank you, little brother.

“Marinette and Dick are really graceful when they’re in the air too!” Steph adds.

Marinette winces. “Key word being air. I’ve already tripped over my own feet six times, and another three times on Jason.”

Right on cue, as she moves to read another plaque, she trips over Jason’s foot and flails. He catches her in a dip like the good boyfriend he is and promptly kisses her- passionately.

Damian makes a disgusted noise, Dick sighs, Tim snaps a picture, and Cass smacks them both on the backs of their heads.

Children. She signs, and they both smile sheepishly. Two toddlers are staring, openmouthed, and Marinette counts five parents covering their children’s eyes.

“Oops.”

Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose. “You two can contribute to Alfred’s PDA jar when we get back.” 

“Aww, Bruce!” Jason complains.

“He has strict rules and you didn’t follow them.” Steph chirps. “You brought this on yourself.”

“Timbo, help me out here?”

Tim looks up from where he’s fiddling with his camera. “Uh, no thank you? You two have scarred multiple children for life. It’s only five dollars. You’ll survive.”

“No! Betrayed! By my own family!” Jason wails, and Marinette huffs.

“Mon oiseau, you are the son of a billionaire. Not to mention, all the money you make from your… extracurriculars. You can pay the five dollar fine.”

“It’s the principle of the thing!”

At the end of the day, all of them are tired and sweaty. They agree that maybe the zoo isn’t the greatest place for a family outing, except for Damian, who wants to return to kidnap (Animalnap? Zoonap?) the animals and set them free.

As they get out of the minivan one by one, Marinette, who is right behind Damian, spots something in his shirt move.

“Damian, what’s in your shirt?”

The boy snarls. “Nothing!”

“Damian…” Bruce sighs, and Damian reluctantly pulls out a green grass snake.

“It is non-venomous. Nobody will miss it.” He says defensively, and there is a chorus of groans.

“It’s a snake.” Tim points out. “That you stole. From the zoo.”

Damian sniffs. “I prefer the term liberated.”

Jason groans, and rests his chin on the top of Marinette’s head. She staggers underneath the extra weight. “I hate this fucking family.”

Marinette reaches up to poke him in the chest. “You know you love us. Why else would you wear a bat on your chest?”

“To piss Bruce off.”

“Sure. Keep telling yourself that.”

[river-bottom-nightmare]

Mothman And BUTT-erboy: A Comprehensive Guide

On that fateful day where Bruce Wayne sat thinking of exactly what name would strike fear into the hearts of his enemies, a bat flew into the open window of the study, hence creating the vengeful, dark, mysterious Batman. But, ignoring the fact that Gotham City is every horror cliche put together, what if a moth had flown into the manor that night, attracted to the light (as moths often are)? 

I give you: the mighty mysterious MOTHMAN!

(treat this crack seriously, okay? because i will)

So you’ve got a guy dressed as a moth going around beating up criminals. But then, you ask, what ever shall his little Robin be? Who is Dick Grayson, if not the human reincarnation of a cartwheel dressed like a stoplight?

Well, logic dictates that if one guy is a moth, the other is a butterfly. I present to you: BUTTERBOY!

I’m wonderful at MS paint shut up

But does he keep this up when he and bruce have their little falling out and he goes out on his own? Um, have you met Dick Grayson?

Our little butterboy has become a BUTTERMAN. We have all the classic nightwing arcs but with butterman instead. Think of the headlines. 

“BLUDHAVEN VIGILANTE BUTTERMAN KILLS THE JOKER”

side note: Joker would absolutely love being killed by someone called Butterman Joker, actively dying of internal bleeding: I was gonna have to go some way and it doesn’t get much butter than this

Everyone spells it butt-erman. Dick’s torn between loving it and hating it. Also Dick constantly smells like popcorn. For reasons.

(And yes, I am well aware that “butterman” sounds like a weird sex thing with vague relations to food and bdsm. But if we’re being honest, Nightwing sounds like a stripper name. So it’s not like this is anything new.)

Now Jason. Jason has a modicum of common sense. But he’s also dumb as shit. So he looks at the costume and goes “yea this isn’t happening.” He gets his hand on the costume plans and that’s how we end up with THE FLY.

Yeah I don’t know how flies work. That’s just how it is now.

(another side note: Jason actually looks super badass and hot in this picture i’m sorry for ruining it but like jesus chIST look at the siZe of his aRMS)

Fact: Jason is fully aware of how dumb it looks and sounds. Fact: Jason is a little shit Conclusion: Jason does not care and people are honestly terrified of the Fly because he will beat you up wearing what looks like those fairy wings with the elastic straps that you could put on you and pretend you were a fairy when you were a kid.

Tim would either go back to Butterboy or Fly. Either he’d be Butterboy because he has trash taste in costumes and doesn’t want to replace the Fly. Or he would take on the Fly because he has the creativity of marmalade. Or even worse, he would combine them. I present to you: FLYBOY

Tim genuinely does not realize how stupid it is. This is the guy whose costume includes that stupid cowl. I don’t think he has any fashion sense. Like at all. The only good fashion choice he makes is wearing Kon’s oversized shirts in the morning

Damain would reject both. Damian doesn’t even come to Gotham because he’s so embarrased about the titles that being with the League forever sounds like a better alternative.

Stephanie would think “Butterboy” is the single dumbest thing she’s ever heard.

Kate’s still batwoman. She has better taste and thinks bats are cool.

Babs? She looks at Dick and goes “this has potential.” Which honestly describes their entire relationship. She’s the Butterfly.

Cass is Spider. Like, very Black-Widow esque. Super badass. We Stan.

Duke wants to stick with the yellow but also he has a brain cell. But he’s got massive insecurity issues and wants to be part of the insect theme that the fam’s got going on. So now we have the Wasp.

Anyway, @magneticwoag​ , @yesboopityboop​ , and I came up with this thing and I am honestly quite proud. DC you should definitely hire us we will improve your work by leaps and bounds.

[goldandbluesmiles]

A more silent love language

Summary: Dick has always like sparkly things.

Ao3

Part of my batfam flufftober2020

Bruce had decided that Dick needed some winter clothing.

Why that was necessary, Dick did not understand but here they were, in some relatively high-end shop.

"You should have let Alfred bring me,"

"What do you mean?" said Bruce with mock hurt, "Are you not having fun bonding with your brother/father figure? I am so hurt!"

"Oh shut it," muttered Dick

Bruce laughed, "Come on Kiddo. We already got a lot of stuff. Just a couple of sweaters and long sleeve shirts are left. It's your first winter here. We probably won't have to do shopping like this from now on,"

"Fine," muttered Dick, thumbing through a stack of shirts, "I'll look,"

"Great," said Bruce, "We can split up and meet at...that couch? I think, over there in about fifteen minutes,"

Dick looked to where Bruce was pointing and snorted. The weird-looking, probably really expensive, lump barely resembled any piece of furniture, much less a couch.

"Alright," said Dick

Bruce smiled and started toward the other side of the shop. Dick went back to looking through the shirts and even chose a couple. He was about to make his way to the couch when something shimmery and silver caught his eye.

It was a set of a hat, scarf and gloves made of wool-like material that was silver and sparkly. He touched it and noticed it was soft to the touch.

Dick had been used to wearing sparkly things back at the circus but ever since he had come to Gotham, he had been expected to wear boring colours, fit for a young boy, according to literally everyone in Gotham.

He wondered if Bruce would-

"Chum?" Dick almost jumped in the air and carefully pulled his hand back.

"Oh, hey Bruce," he squeaked out

Bruce smiled, "Sorry, Chum. Didn't mean to startle you. I just got worried. Something caught your eye?"

Dick resisted the urge to look at the clothing items again. He already had all those things anyway.

"Nah, just looking around," said Dick

Bruce didn't look like he believed but nodded anyway.

"Alright, Kiddo," said Bruce, "Why don't we try these on and then go to checkout,"

"Okay,"

xxx

Once in awhile, Alfred would take out the photo albums, sort them again and add new ones.

This time he had been ambushed by his grandchildren as he was finishing and he had left them to flip through the pictures.

They were still going through Dick's childhood pictures when Jason stopped at little Dick standing in the snow, wearing a shimmery set of gloves, scarf and hats.

"Sparkly shit, huh?" said Jason, "You always liked it,"

Dick grinned, "Yeah, that was a breaking moment for me and Bruce, you know,"

"How so?" asked Damian

"Well, I had been at the manor for like five months and while I was pretty comfortable, I still had some reservations some things. One of them was whether or not Bruce would be completely okay with the style I had at Haly's, every bold and loud. Not that he even said anything but everyone at in Gotham, especially in high society wore proper muted colours if they were guys and I was fine. And then I saw that set and I kinda really liked it. Bruce was with me that day and I guess he noticed me staring at it,"

"And he told you you could buy it?" asked Tim

"Umm," said Dick, "Not exactly,"

"Meaning?" asked Cass

"Well..."

Once they got home, Bruce handed Dick the shopping bags and told him to put the stuff away.

"And then we'll get some popcorns and watch a movie, okay?"

"Okay!"

Dick took the bags and practically ran up the stairs. he started to take the stuff out and put it in the right places. When he to the end he noticed something shimmery at the bottom.

The sparkly set.

Bruce must have grabbed it when Dick had been trying on clothes.

Smiling, Dick ran all the way down to Bruce and practically tackled him in a hug.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!"

Bruce laughed, "You're welcome, Chum,"

"He just bought it and put it in the bag?" asked Duke

"Yup," said Dick, "That's B for you. Bad with words, better with actions. He did delve into his vast vocabulary and tell me that I could wear whatever I wanted. I know, it might not seem like a big deal, but it kinda felt like he was telling me I could express myself however I wanted,"

"Yeah, he's good like that," said Dick

"Wait," said Damian, "Is that why he keeps buying me whatever art supply I glance at?"

"And all the books and stuff on photography?"

"He got me history stuff," said Duke

"Dance lessons," said Cass, "All of them,"

"I thought he was just passionate about books too," said Jason, "But yeah, that's B's love language,"

"Yup," said Dick, "The best thing to do is take it and you know, just use it in front of him. Makes him happy,"

"Huh," said Duke

Just them they heard footsteps and Bruce joined then in the den.

"Hey, guys," said Bruce, "Going through the albums?"

"Yup," answered Dick, "Join us,"

Bruce smiled and sat down, scanning the pictures as Jason flipped through them.

"Oh hey, Bruce," said Duke, "I loved the historical map you got me for my room. I put it up if you wanna see it later,"

Bruce's answering smile could have lit up Gotham's darkest goddamn night.

"I would love to, Kiddo,"

[thychesters]

Hey so uh,,, how do you think a family of detectives would approach a murder mystery game? Or book/show? This could be a writing prompt if you want it to be but it doesn't have to.

none of them have ever committed fratricide, but you know what? there’s a first time for everything. (or: they’re only allowed to have game night once every two months because someone will start a fight and someone else will always ask if they want some ice for that burn.)

There has been a murder most foul, committed on the grounds of Wayne Manor! Or rather, there may very well be one in the next twenty minutes in the parlor, by whoever’s closest with whatever they have on hand.

“Tim’s cheating,” Duke says, glancing down at his notepad again with a thin scowl. The lot of them, sans Alfred and Bruce, are gathered on the floor of the main living room, camped out with an array of treats and blankets. The dining table was too boring, Steph had said before dragging both Cass and Tim by the arms and all but trying to throw them both to the floor. Besides, sitting at the table made it feel too formal, and it was too big for them to all gather comfortably around the board. Despite their insistence, Bruce had opted out of what they posited as detective training, which means he instead has perhaps five minutes of silence to himself somewhere in the Cave.

Across from Duke on the floor and illuminated by the fire they’ve left crackling, Tim shoots him a dirty look before grabbing a fistful of popcorn from the bowl between him and Cass. He flicks a kernel at her.

“What are you going after me for? Everyone knows Damian’s the one who did it.”

“That’s absurd, Drake,” Damian grips, shuffling his cards. “There may be some things I’m guilty of, but this asinine murder is not one of them.”

Where he lounges between him and Duke, Jason rolls his eyes with a huff. “Calm down before you get flames on the side of your face, Miss Scarlet.”

“Take it easy, guys,” Dick says as he folds his arms on Barbara’s leg as they lie across his lap. His gaze passes over the others in turn, and Jason gives his best, most affronted look. Duke even gasps at him with his hand over his heart. “Don’t make me call Alf in here.”

“Oh yeah? What’s he gonna do?”

“Why he buttles, sir,” Barbara says. Steph peers over her shoulder as she shifts her cards, chin digging into her collarbone. Dick snorts and flicks her knee. Cass clucks her tongue while drumming her fingers on the popcorn bowl, and Tim squints at the three of them for a good minute before hooking his thumb over his shoulder.

“By the way? If we’re going to accuse anyone of cheating here? Can we talk about how this is not a team game and we have these three working in cahoots?” He frowns at the others, met with shrugs and eye rolls. Steph even sticks her tongue out at him.

“Cahoots?” Dick parrots, almost letting his cards slip. “Yeah, Tim’s definitely the murderer. Case closed. Game’s over.”

It is not, Damian mutters at the same time Steph says, “We agreed this was fine before we even started because there are only six characters.” She reaches across Cass to nudge Tim’s shoulder with her fist. “Professor Plum better knock off the trash talk before Colonel Mustard comes over there and beats him up.”

Tim pulls a face. Cass pulls away the popcorn.

“Hey, I talk trash and you come back with threats of violence. Nice.” On the other side of the board, Damian smacks Jason’s foot from where he’s slowly been sliding it closer just to mess with him. He hisses, toes curling in his socks. “If there’s anyone Professor Plum is afraid of, it’s Cass.”

“Thank you,” she says with a smile as she tosses popcorn in her mouth. “You should be.”

“When you said you wanted to play Clue, this isn’t exactly what I was hoping for,” Dick says to no one in particular, leaning back with one palm planted on the floor to keep him propped up. Barbara reaches over to squeeze his knee and he smiles a little. “Pretty much what I expected, though.”

“Stop flirting and focus,” Cass says, and Dick spurts for a good second while Barbara casts her a glance over her glasses as the fire reflects off them; Steph grins. “All of you… sleep with one eye open tonight.”

“Nope,” Duke says decisively and smacks Jason in the face with a Twizzler, who mutters would you guys stop hitting me. The latter finally pulls his legs back under himself and sits up. “With that attitude we’re about to find Mr. Boddy and a singing telegram in the morning.”

“What on earth are you talking about?” Damian asks, and now it’s Tim’s turn to look affronted. Barbara and Dick only shake their hands because clearly they’ve failed him.

“I have brought shame into this household,” Dick says, head bent so his chin ducks into his chest. Steph reaches over Barbara to pat his shoulder as best she can. The fire crackles behind her.

“Well yeah,” Jason says as he snags a handful from the chip bowl. Then he intones: “The mere sight of you is like a pox upon this household.”

“Ass.”

“Ouch.”

“So like… are we done playing this game here? Is that what’s happening?” Duke glances over each of them, his eyebrows raised. His notebook sits on his knee, bobbing in time with his golf pencil tapping against it.

Barbara hums, jostling Steph a little as she leans back. “It was this or watching Dateline. After last time there was kind of the unspoken agreement that we’d never watch it as a group again.”

“What happened last time?” Damian asks, nose scrunching up a little. His sister pops another kernel in her mouth, the false picture of nonchalance.

“A lot of arguing,” Cass says as she ignores Jason’s remark to hey, chew with her mouth closed. “Everyone knows it’s usually the ex anyway.”

“Except when it isn’t,” Jason offers, leaving his cards on the floor facedown. Barbara and Tim immediately laugh; Tim even drags a hand down his face.

Dick levels him with a look. “That was deep, man. You write fortune cookies too?”

“Okay!” Duke cuts in, reaching for the envelope left in the middle of the board. He knocks his Mr. Green piece as he goes. “I think we’re about done here, otherwise it’s gonna be Jason in the parlor with the popcorn bowl.”

“Oh sweet, even when it’s a fake murder I get falsely accused.”

“This is why Kate doesn’t come visit anymore.”

“No, Kate doesn’t visit because seeing your mug gives her heartburn.”

“It’s your fault, Drake. By being around you long enough one can feel their IQ dropping.”

“Must be why Steph’s so stupid.”

“Excuse me! I’ll have you know I’m blonde and smart, which is like… the trifecta,” Steph cackles, to which Barbara rolls her eyes and her shoulders, dislodging her until Steph’s on the floor and giggling to herself. Dick covers his mouth and struggles to school his expression while Damian gives her a bewildered look and Tim aims his gaze at the ceiling. Jason and Duke calmly collect their cards and start sorting them into neat piles.

“Well this was a riveting game that went absolutely nowhere,” Barbara says, passing her cards over to Jason while Cass pushes Mrs. White across the board and back toward Damian. “Thank god this wasn’t a real murder because then it never would have been solved.”

“Who says it wasn’t real?” Tim asks as Cass passes the popcorn bowl to him. She lets out a long-suffering sigh.

“Rest in peace, Mr. Boddy. You won’t be missed.”

Duke shakes his head, stretching out his legs. “This family is just dark.”

“Comes with being a bat,” Dick says, moving with Barbara to slip her legs back off of him. Duke takes his cards. “You get used to it after a while.”

“Uh-huh,” Duke mutters as he and Tim put the pieces of the board back in the box. The others waste little time in laying claim to various pieces of furniture, and Cass leans into Barbara and Dick where they sit in the corner of one of the couches. Damian deflects any of Jason’s attempts to use him as a footrest.

Bruce finds them gathered around the TV watching Cass’ pick of the night (Lilo and Stitch) while Steph puts tiny braids in Tim’s hair.

“At least you didn’t try playing Monopoly again,” he says before promptly being met with a course of groans. Cass lobs a pillow at him.

send a bat-prompt!

[kumeko]

For @dickgraysonexchange2020, for courage_boss! I had a lot of fun with this one.

Prompt: Dick gets a coupon book for his bday and uses all but the last one.

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If there was one good thing about Bruce Wayne’s string of adoptions, it was that events were never a quiet affair. No matter how much Jason or Damian might have wanted them to be. Dick, on the other hand, embraced the fullness of the manor. The place felt too empty and stuffy on a normal day, what with most of the family out and about.

 It was only for special days, like his birthday, that everyone gathered together again. Between his friends and family, every room felt full, the manor bursting with sound and life. A far cry from the dreary dinners when it had just been the three of them, with Bruce awkwardly figuring out parenting and Alfred kindly filling in the gaps.

 Walking around with a slice of cake, Dick spotted Alfred and grinned. He meandered over. “Alfred, one of these days, you’re going to realize just how much you’d make running a restaurant.”

 Alfred chuckled. “Perhaps, Master Richard, but the last time I left, the manor collapsed.” His expression was fond. “It’s too much work fixing it after.”

 “That…” Dick couldn’t even argue. Anytime Alfred left on vacation, sabbatical, whatever, nothing went right. The kitchen burned. Bruce forgot to eat or sleep. Mold and dust became new tenants. “It’s all a ploy to keep you here longer.”

 “Then it is certainly working.” His smile looked more amused than weary. “You certainly do keep me on my toes.”

“Dick!” Tim poked his head out of the study. Spotting him, he gestured for him to come. “Got a sec?”

 “It’s only a party,” Dick teased, nodding to Alfred before going. “Not like I have anything important to miss.”

 Tim rolled his eyes. “You could have been talking to someone.” Despite his cavalier words, his cheeks reddened from embarrassment.

 Dick didn’t press the matter, storing it away instead for later teasing. “What’s up?” he asked as he stepped into the study.

 There was no such thing as a small room in the Wayne manor. Yet, crowded with Damian, Cassandra, Tim, Bruce, and Jason, the study suddenly felt cozy. Dick grinned, unable to help himself. “The whole gang’s here!”

 Jason clicked his teeth. “Let’s get it over with.”

 “For once, I agree with the failure,” Damian added, crossing his arms.

 “Aww, don’t be like that.” Dick sidled up to them, planting himself in between. Before they could react, he loped an arm around their shoulders. “You both came, after all.”

 “I made sure of it,” Bruce said simply. Dick wasn’t sure what that entailed. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to.

 Damian squawked. “I didn’t—”

 “Don’t you—” Jason growled, tossing off Dick’s arm.

 “We got you a gift!” Tim interrupted, before a fight could erupt. He held out a small, neatly wrapped box. The wrapping paper and ribbon were a soft blue, matching his Nightwing costume. “Everyone chipped in.”

 “Chipped in?” Dick reluctantly let go of the two to accept. Ignoring how Damian and Jason immediately escaped to the other side of the room, he carefully pulled the ribbons and unwrapped. What could it possibly be, if everyone chipped in and it was so tiny? Tickets? A gadget? A thick wad of cash?

 Oddly enough, none of those. Instead there was a small book inside, roughly the size of a chequebook. Scrawled neatly on the top was Coupons.

 “A coupon book?” Confused, he looked up at Tim. “You guys chipped in for a coupon book?”

 “Look inside,” Tim encouraged, his smile so wide it nearly split his face in half.

 “Okay…” Still bemused, he quickly flipped through the pages. Defeat your enemies. Do a chore. Take the night off. Massage. The writing differed from page to page, from Damian’s neat, cramped writing to Cassandra’s messy flowing one. Most of them were made by Tim though, and they were of course all the normal ones.

 It was better than anything he’d imagined. Feeling utterly soft, he quickly hugged Tim. “Thanks.” Without missing a beat, he pounced on Damian and Jason. Despite their protests, they didn’t squirm out of his grip. Finally, he rounded on Cass and Bruce, both of which hugged him back awkwardly, as though they weren’t sure quite how.

 “I can’t believe you made this,” he said, finally untangling himself.

 “Well, considering everything we have, it’s hard to buy gifts.” Tim shrugged. “Steph had the idea, actually.”

 Well, that made sense. She always had the fun, interesting ideas.  Dick made note to thank her later. “I can’t believe you two agreed to this,” he said, looking at Damian and Jason.

 “A little strong arming from Cass,” Tim explained.

 “I did not get threa—” Damian protested, glaring at Tim. Hopefully this didn’t lead to the two of them stabbing each other in the batcave later. Then again, there was a clean the batcave ticket too, maybe he could have them clean up after their mess.

 “I did not have to…convince Damian,” Cassandra replied stiffly. Despite how much time had passed, words were still her second most fluent language. “He was…agreeing to this.”

 “Really?” Jason guffawed.

 “That’s because no one can strong arm me,” Damian growled, his lips curling into a sneer as he glared at Jason. “And that means she did strong arm you.”

 “Stop,” Bruce warned, rubbing his forehead. “We’re in the middle of a party.”

 “Oh, don’t worry, I have that covered.” Dick whistled as he flipped through the coupon book, stopping at one of them. Tearing it out, he grinned. “Now, one of you two has to compliment me…who should I pick?”

 -x-

 “You…want me to cook?” Cassandra’s brow furrowed as she stared at the little slip of paper in her hands.

 “More or less.” Dick grinned as he led the way to his kitchen. His apartment was a small thing compared to the manor, but it was home, and there was something energizing about having someone over. If there was one thing he loved about the coupon book above all else, it was that it gave him an excuse to invite his far-flung family over.

 She cocked her head, still looking troubled. “I am not…good at it.”

 “That’s fine!” Dick hummed as he pulled out two aprons from his cupboard, handing one over to her. “As long as it’s edible.”

 “You…have one too?” Cassandra awkwardly stared at the bird-print apron, then at him.

 Laughing, he slowly put it on, demonstrating how to tie it all together. He should have expected that; his family was more comfortable fighting than they were in the kitchen, and it showed. “Yeah, we’ll cook together. It’s more fun that way, right?”

 Cassandra smiled, a small thing, and nodded. “Yes.”

 -x-

 Standing next to the old grandfather clock, Bruce crossed his arms. Honestly, he didn’t need to wear a mask to intimidate; his scowl was more than enough to scare off any random two-bit goon. “This isn’t what they were intended for.”

 Despite his words, he still hadn’t opened the passage to the batcave, and Dick considered that victory. It at least meant that Bruce was willing to hear him out. Holding out the paper, he shook his head. “How? I’m using them.”

 Bruce’s frown grew deeper. “Dick, that is supposed to be a night off for you.”

 “No, it just says night off.” Honestly, Bruce should have known better: Dick loved arguing semantics. Finding loopholes in Bruce’s rules was what he lived for. “So I’m giving you a night off.”

 “I—”

 “Babs and the Birds of Prey agreed to cover.” Dick pressed the coupon on Bruce’s chest confidently. “You’re not in the middle of a case. Perfect time for a night in.”

 “Dick…” Bruce ran a hand through his hair. Another push and he’d cave in. “Look, I appreciate it, but…”

 “Master Richard, Master Bruce.” Alfred stepped into the room and while Dick would never accuse him of something as underhanded as eavesdropping, the timing was suspect. “I have prepared the living room for your marathon. Master Timothy and Miss Cassandra are already there, though Master Damian has refused to join.”

 “Et tu, Alfred?” Bruce sighed, giving in. “Fine, but drag Damian down too, Dick. He’s not allowed to worm his way out.”

 “The if I go down, he goes down with me gambit.” Dick grinned. “I got it covered.”

 -x-

 Tim stared at the fruity mocktail he was holding, worrying his bottom lip. “I don’t think this is what Jason had in mind.”

 “I never go by what Jason has in mind,” Dick countered, drinking his own cocktail. Sipping from his ridiculously curly straw, he leaned back in his seat. “It’s always more fun that way.”

 “That’s…true,” Tim reluctantly agreed, surveying the rest of the batcave.

 Honestly, there couldn’t be anything better than relaxing by the computer, eating popcorn, and watching Damian and Jason handle all of the cleaning. Sure, they had automated robots and machines to handle this. This chore had been struck from the list years ago, after Bruce had upgraded the whole cave.

 Yet, sometimes Dick just wanted to see things done the old-fashioned way. Like Jason washing the batcar. Or Damian scrubbing the costumes. Both of them were quietly swearing as they worked, occasionally shooting him a dirty glare. He didn’t have to read their minds to know he’d have to watch his sleep for the next week; if they could murder him, they would.

 “Don’t forget the bat droppings,” he added cheerfully.

 If he was going to die young, might as well go out with a bang.

  -x-

 Dick sighed as he stared at the coupon book. In the span of a month, he’d managed to use almost all thirty of them, most of them in the most frivolous way possible. He didn’t regret it; it had been fun. No matter what ridiculous thing he came up with, his family had done it. Begrudgingly, at times, but they’d still done it.

 The whole thing had given them so many excuses to hang out, no matter what else was going on in their lives. And now it was all over. All he had left was a single Do whatever you say for a day ticket. One last one and the gift would be done.

 He sighed again. This gift was far too precious to use on a passing whim. Carefully, he folded up that last coupon, tucking it in securely into his wallet. Dick would save it for the best opportunity, for the final memory that couldn’t be replaced. A rainy day when he needed a pick-me-up.

 More importantly, it literally would force someone to do whatever he said for a day. Power like that had to be considered before he used it.