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#and I am taking five in the bathroom ^_^
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Having a mental breakdown at work while smiling and teaching 😄
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coquelicoq · 1 year
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my ex, who lives alone, is apparently about to buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom, 2-garage house. what. i'm getting stressed out just hearing about it. tf you gonna do with all that space, bro? how you gonna clean all those bathrooms???
#he's like well i want one room for my home office and one room for my hobby and one guest room#add in a bedroom for him and that's still only 4 bedrooms? you have an entire extra bedroom????#plus an extra garage???#damn he thinks he's lonely now but dude just you wait until you spend every day ALONE IN A FIVE-BEDROOM HOUSE#trying not to project too much onto him but i really think this is absurd outside of my own preferences#he's been stressed living in his 1b apt bc his hobby takes up a lot of space#but i think this is just another example of his general propensity to treat the symptoms and not the disease#the problem is he's overcommitting & extending himself too much & he never finishes anything#that's what actually stresses him out#so him in a 5b house is just going to be him filling all that space with stuff until he's stressed again#anyway i have NO IDEA how to react to this because i think it's such a bad idea#i'm really bad at faking things i don't feel but i feel like it's too late to say 'wyd bro???' because apparently his offer was accepted#i did ask him how he's going to clean 4 bathrooms and he said he's just not going to use them#also it feels weird morally for a single (rich) man to buy an entire 5b house only for him in the middle of the seattle housing crisis#not like if he didn't buy it someone else would buy it and make it into affordable housing units so maybe it doesn't matter#still feels weird though and contributes to me not knowing how to react#if you have any advice for me followers...i am all ears#i've been really floundering on how to be a supportive friend to him lately#just really struggling with how to engage with him when it feels like he's his own worst enemy#and like it's not that he needs to have the same priorities as me it's just that he comes to me all stressed out and idk how to react#bc 'no shit you're stressed out. have you tried making completely different choices?' isn't a great option lol
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unganseylike · 7 days
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when are we as a society going to make men in stem stop talking to julia unganseylike
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lilgynt · 2 months
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eating disorders making ur stomach hurt when you’ve finally eaten or drunk something after a hot minute is so fucking evil it’s not funny. the bowel issues too
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binch-i-might-be · 1 year
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I need y'all to know that I'm like really aggressively cleaning/tidying/taking out trash/(shoving my brother's trash he left in the hallway into his room) rn. I am fixing my entire life. no more amazon boxes in the living room no more full trash bags in random places no more dishes and balls of yarn and random shit I have to step over eighteen times a day. I am CLEANSING THIS SPACE
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dylawas-reblogs · 10 months
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One thing I do look forward to about in-person work for the first time in four and a half years, even if it's 28 miles of travel both ways right during the worst winter months, is I can't be my father's free Chore Servant when he's too busy (read: disorganized and lazy) to sort things before he leaves for the day
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paperconsumption · 2 years
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i’m so good at ignoring my bladder when i’m playing enstars or reading why can’t i do it on this bus
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ifeelbetterer · 2 years
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Me explaining how I have a REALLY bad memory but I still "remember" most things: It's all about knowing where to put things so that Future Me will have The Thought at the right time and in the right place.
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mxalmighty · 6 months
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The Great Almighty Apartment Deep Clean of 2024
is officially underway. My bathroom is the cleanest gd place in this whole building now. It's like stepping into an entirely new universe.
I did that. Me. All by myself. /proud bean
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karmaphone · 8 months
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nearly sobbing at 5:30 in the morning because the goddamn toilet paper roll perfectly encapsulates every fucking problem I have in this house :')
#like. they keep claiming they have no preference for how it is placed on the holder. I am allegedly the only one with a preference#(tail end on top)#and yet. despite the fact that they allegedly have no preference. every single goddamn time. it is set upside down#it takes no effort to adjust to one basic household preference. simply remember that someone actually cares. but since it's my thing no one#ever fucking bothers :)#and yes :) this extends to :) everything :)#big and small preferences :) no matter what it is :)#oh you want your house at a livable temperature instead of 50 fucking degrees because you have REYNAUDS??? too much no no no#you want your kitchen organized and things to go back in the same places? absolutely not!#you want your DRAWERS AND CABINETS CLOSED? FUCK YOU!!!#you want organized times on the bathroom because it would help you with work prep? go fuck yourself!!!#you want to eat food? oh you left it in a cabinet too long and the middle aged woman who lives with you decided it's fair game#you want to spray for roaches and do laundry? sorry baby I'm too scared to ask my mom for five fucking dollars#even after giving her thousands on top of a years worth of wages :)#I'm just. I'm fucking sick of every little preference of mine being dismissed and disrespected#I can't even control my own diet anymore. it's just things that my mil Might Not Steal (and still sometimes does)#I'm. fucking losing it dude. it was supposed to change when we moved. it was supposed to change
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incorrectbatfam · 2 months
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Does the Batmobile ever get ticketed or does the GCPD just ignore it
Bruce: *puts a box on the table*
Bruce: Gather around, everyone. It's time for our monthly ticket review.
Bruce: First up, Steph. Can you explain what happened last Friday?
[earlier]
Steph: *looking for parking in a full lot*
Steph: Screw it, I'm going around back.
Steph: *parks in front of a fire exit*
[present]
Steph: I just needed to use the bathroom.
Bruce: And in those three minutes, the Joker released a giant water balloon forcing everyone to evacuate through one less exit.
Steph: It said "fire exit." That technically wasn't a fire.
Bruce: Well, the penalty is $100 plus the towing cost. I can pay it off but you have to help Alfred in the kitchen for a month.
Steph: Yeah, that's fair.
Bruce: Next up... Cass and Barbara? Color me surprised.
Barbara: Oh yeah, I had to remotely pilot the Batmobile the other day because Cass needed a getaway.
Bruce: Then why am I being charged $250?
[earlier]
Cass: *fighting a gang*
Barbara: Orphan, ETA thirty seconds. Prepare for extraction.
Cass: *knocks out the last henchman and runs to the car*
Comm. Gordon: *writing a ticket*
Cass: ?
Comm. Gordon: You're in a disabled parking spot without a permit.
[present]
Barbara: Well I am disabled.
Bruce: Understandable. I'll let it slide since it's the first time. Just file the paperwork for a permit.
Bruce: Dick, you went thirty-five over the speed limit when you weren't pursuing a suspect. Explain.
[earlier]
Wally: Race you to Keystone?
Dick: *revs the engine*
[present]
Bruce: You're better than this. I'm disappointed. Next up: Tim. Driving without a license plate. What happened there?
[earlier]
Tim: I wasn't supposed to take the Batmobile since Bruce benched me for my wrist, but my other ride is in the shop.
Kon: What about cameras? Can't your dad tap into the city's surveillance system?
Bart: Traffic cameras read license plates, so if we take them off, no one will recognize us.
Kon: Now that's an idea.
[present]
Tim: That's on me. I shouldn't have listened to them.
Bruce: Put them back on, plus you're benched for another week. Damian, on to you.
Damian: What on Earth could I have done? I followed the speed limit, parked in the correct spots, and never so much as changed lanes on an empty road without signalling.
[earlier]
Damian, a middle schooler: *driving*
[present]
Damian: Tt.
Bruce: Don't do it again. Duke...
Duke: *cringes and remembers what he did*
[earlier]
Duke: *hooks the Batmobile to a freezer trailer*
Duke: *starts driving around with a megaphone*
Duke: Ice cream! Get your ice cream!
[present]
Bruce: Fantastic job. No complaints.
Jason, muttering: Teacher's pet.
Bruce: And finally, Jason.
Bruce: *empties the rest of the box*
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slippery-minghus · 1 year
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feeling like absolute garbage today and trying so so so so hard to not let it get to me. i know why i feel this way (bad pain week, exhausted both from work changes and staying up late last night) which means i know how to fix it. the trouble is just that i can't do the i know how to fix it until much later today. i can only muddle through until work is done.
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lilgynt · 2 years
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common thick hair dub started pulling chunks of hair out can’t even tell where
#personal#it was at the front of my head too like damn bitch. my hairline.#my mom said she’s sending dad to a home bc we obviously can’t do it#and i was like oh for sure if that’s best but don’t do that bc of me pulling hair#i’ve been self harming since ten cmon this is pretty normal#she was like 🤨 okay#i drafted this and then not kidding my dad#okay so first hair pull came bc my dad requested the rest room at like 11:40#which like fair you gotta piss you gotta piss#walk him down with the walker but he got turned around and disoriented in the bathroom#god im so awful he’s not eating to stop using the bathroom to stop bothering us then i’m crying at 3 am walking him there#anyway so he’s like where am i and im like the bathroom and he’s like i don’t need to use the bathroom my bad#walk him back - he’s like take me to the bathroom#and we’re like?? do you need to go?#and he’s like no i just want to know the path for myself#and he won’t let my mom get five steps away she’s severly sleep deprived and tells him no#you’re going to bed i’m going to bed grahams goign to bed and they’re fighting#dads like i’m gonna leave to find someone outside to help me#moms grabbing my arm and walking away and dads right there and then i’m screaming at them#cause i understand both my dads so anxious and scared and my mom is so exhausted#anyway yelling works everyone stops fighting blah blah mom goes to bed dad does too#five minutes later hear my dad in the living room clattering around and walk in to him holding the tv up and it’s FALLING#so i run over pick it up and my fucking god#we were talking earlier how he thought the tv was a door bc of the light#and he was trying to? get out? go to the rest room? i don’t know#either way walk him to the bathroom and back#cry go to bed cover my ears when i hear him clap for help again at 3 am then get up and help him#mom scared the shit out of me i was setting up the water for my dad and crying and my mom just APPEARED in the shadows#i feel so bad she saw that bc i closed her door and left mine open so she could sleep!!!!!!#she’s sleeping on the couch with him rn i should wake her up and let her go to bed but i dont want to i dont want to i dont how she does it
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freedomfireflies · 3 months
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One Day*
Summary: An extra for 404*
The one where you still hate Harry, but turns out, you might be having his baby.
Word Count: 5.4k
Content Warning: 18+, smut, breeding kink, pregnancy kink, spanking, brief choking, slight angst (happy ending), mentions of pregnancy and babies! *Please be so gentle with yourself and only continue if you feel comfortable! 💞*
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“I’m late.”
“For what?”
You huff. “I’m late,” you repeat, gesturing frantically toward your hips. “A week late. Which I know can happen, but…not really to me, so…I’m late. And I think we’re fucked.”
Harry blinks. Looks down at your stomach. Looks up at your face. “Oh.”
“Oh?” You rear back. “That’s all you have to say for yourself is oh?”
He lifts his left shoulder in nonchalant shrug before flopping down onto your sofa. “I don’t know. What did you want me to say?”
“I…I don’t know,” you huff. “I kind of thought you’d…yell. Or freak out or something. Or ask me if I’m keeping it.”
“Do you want me to freak out?”
“Well…no. Not really.”
“Do you want to keep it?”
“I…I don’t know, I don’t even…I’m not even sure if I am yet or not.”
“Okay.” He nudges his glasses up before crossing his arms. “Well did you get a test?”
You glance toward the pharmacy bag still sitting on your kitchen counter. It’s been mocking you ever since you picked it up. Staring you down, sticking out its tongue. One, tiny little box that’ll determine the next chapter of your life. It’s almost infuriating. 
“Yeah,” you mumble. “I, um…got one on the way home from work.”
“Okay. Have you taken it yet?”
“Not…exactly.”
His brow raises. “Do you…need help or something?”
You scowl. “It’s peeing on a stick, I think I’ve got it covered.”
“Yeah, well, knowing you, you’d find a way to fuck it up.” He smirks. “Sure hope our baby gets my brains instead of yours.”
You grab the pillow beside him and give him a firm whack. “That’s not funny.”
He laughs as he winces. “Good. I wasn’t being funny.”
“Then, stop it. And stop being so calm.”
“You just said you preferred calm—”
“Well…it’s scaring me now. So what gives?”
Another shrug. “I don’t know. I just don’t really feel the need to waste a reaction on something we don’t even know is happening yet. Take the test and then I’ll freak out if you’d like.”
“You say that like someone that’s had a lot of pregnancy scares.”
He snorts. “No, I say that like someone who knows freaking out won’t exactly help you right now. So just take the goddamn test, Tinkerbell. And we’ll go from there.”
Unamused, but somehow slightly comforted, you oblige and snatch the box from the table before retreating to the bathroom.
Once the timer has been set, you slowly make your way back to him.
He’s still sitting on the sofa. Calm. Unaffected. Watching you without a care in the world. Like his whole life isn’t about to change. 
It drives you nuts.
“Five minutes,” you tell him.
He nods.
Warily, you sit in the chair to his left, staring holes through your shoes as your heart races inside your chest. You’re not sure how you got here. Not sure where you could possibly go. You aren’t ready for a baby. Not…yet. Especially not one with…him.
“Hey,” he calls, pulling your attention up. “S’the matter with you?”
Your eyes narrow. “What the hell do you think?”
Another casual shrug that makes your teeth grit. “I thought you’d be happy.”
“Happy?” You lean back. “Why on Earth would I be happy about getting stuck with your DNA for the rest of my life?”
He smiles. “I don’t know. You just seem like the type of girl to want a lot of babies.”
You scoff. “Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I am not.” You don’t think.
“Really? Is that why you begged me to breed you?”
“I didn’t actually mean it. That’s just what you say in a moment like that.”
His eyebrow raises.
You hesitate. “Did…did you mean it?”
“Kind of,” he admits. “I mean, yeah, maybe I didn’t mean right this second, but…I don’t hate the idea.”
“You actually want to be a father?” You snort. “Bullshit. You hate kids. I’ve seen you.”
“I don’t hate kids, I just don’t care about them when they aren’t mine.” He throws his arm over the back of the chair and smirks. “I like my nieces, though. They’re chill.”
You blink. “You…you have nieces? Wait, you have siblings?”
“Yeah. One brother. He’s got two kids and they’re cute as shit.”
“Oh.” Your head starts to pound. “See? We can’t have a baby when I don’t even know anything about you.”
He chuckles to himself before nodding his chin at you. “All right, fine. Go ahead. Ask me whatever.”
“What?”
“Ask me what you wanna know.”
You think. “Okay. How often do you see your family?”
“Often enough. They live in California, and they work a lot. But we call every couple of weeks.”
“Oh. That’s…surprisingly nice. Uh…do you have a history of disease in your family?”
He grins. “Excuse me?”
“I need to know what I’m getting myself into.” You motion at him. “Answer.”
“This isn’t an interview—”
“Answer.”
“No,” he says. “Not that I know of anyway.”
“Great. Do you plan to be a deadbeat father?”
His eyes roll. “I’m not dignifying that with a response.”
“So, yes? You do? Oh, great—”
“No, because that’s not a fair fucking question—”
“It is a fair question. If I have to raise this baby alone, I want to know—”
“Of course you wouldn’t fucking be alone. Do you really think so little of me—”
“I don’t think about you at all. How am I supposed to know what you’ll do—”
“I wouldn’t leave you alone,” he nearly snaps. He takes a breath to calm himself before adding, “Even if it wasn’t my baby, I wouldn’t leave you alone.”
Your lashes flutter and you can feel your heart lodging in your throat. “Fine. Last question.”
He waits.
“Did you ever want kids…before? With…her?”
He doesn’t have to think for very long, but the mention of her makes him smile. “Nah. We talked about it, but we weren’t ready. We liked it being just us, you know? We had a bunch of shit we wanted to do. We were a long way from babies and a white picket fence.”
You try to blink back the tears swimming their way to your eye. You can still see that beautiful picture of her in his room. An entire future of love and life and adventures that he lost. Now…he’s stuck with you.
“Oh,” you murmur.
His brows furrow. “What?”
“Nothing.” You swipe your knuckle along your cheek. “So, you probably still aren’t ready.”
“I didn’t say that.”
You give him an incredulous look. “Harry, come on. You aren’t ready for a baby. I’m not ready for a baby. We…we don’t know each other, we don’t like each other…we can’t do this. You know that.”
“Do I?” He leans forward. “It’s a baby, not a bomb. I think we can handle it.”
“Well, I don’t. You don’t even like me. You can’t have a baby with me.”
“Why not? People do it all the time.”
“But not us.” You give him a firm stare. “Harry, we love our jobs. We want careers, not kids. So having a baby kind of gets in the way of that. There’s…there’s diaper changes, and teething, and potty training—”
“So?”
“So. We don’t work together well. In fact, it’s a rather well-known fact that we don’t get along. We can’t possibly raise a kid. We’d ruin it.” You study him for a beat, unnerved by the nonchalance in his tone. “Why do I get the feeling you actually want this to be real?”
Another shrug and you nearly lunge at him. “I don’t know,” he murmurs, resting his elbows on his knees while he glances at the floor. “I’m older now. Maybe it’s time to…think about settling down.”
Your face scrunches. “Ew. That doesn’t sound like you at all.”
He laughs. “Look, I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it, but…maybe it could be a good thing.”
You stand from your chair and pace the length of your small living room. “This is crazy. This is crazy. I can’t have a baby, I’m…I’m not ready. I’m too young, I…I don’t even know what I’d do with one. Or if I even have a maternal instinct.”
“Probably not,” Harry offers, smirking when you glare. “You won’t really know until you have one.”
“Oh, great.”
“Listen, if you feel like you aren’t ready…we can find another alternative,” he says, softening his voice. “Okay? There are plenty of other options and we’ll find one you feel comfortable with.”
A tad wary of his sympathetic answer, you eye him closely. “Yeah? And what if we disagree?”
“We won’t,” he says calmly. “Your body, your decision.”
“Right,” you snort. “I’m sure.”
“I mean it. I wouldn’t be the one having to carry it.” He nods as though to reassure you. “Honestly, Tink. This would be your decision, one hundred percent. It’s not mine to make. Just to support.”
The tears rush a little faster as you sniffle and step closer. “You say that now, but what if I decide something you don’t like?”
“I will like it. I promise,” he murmurs, standing up in order to move toward you. “If you want to keep it, great. If you don’t, great.”
“I…I…” You suck in a deep breath, unable to slow the wild racing in your chest. “Fuck, I can’t…I don’t know—”
“Hey, okay, easy. Easy, Princess,” he says, quickly reaching out to take you in his arms and ease you against his chest. “Relax. Okay? Just breathe. Breathe for me.”
“I…I don’t think I can—”
“Yes, you can. You are.” His lips press to the top of your head while his hand runs up and down your back soothingly. “I’m right here. Do you hear me? I’m right here. You’re not alone. You won’t be alone. I promise.”
You squeeze your arms together and hold on with everything you have. Right now, he feels like your only anchor in the world. The only person strong enough to carry you both through to the other side. And for the first time since you met him…you feel glad that he’s here.
The two of you stand in the middle of the room for a long while before he finally murmurs, “I think it’s been five minutes.”
Your eyes close and you grip his shirt in your first. “I’m…I’m not ready to look.”
“Okay.” You can hear the smile in his response. “Okay, we can wait.”
So, you do as the truth starts to build in your chest. Inescapable, no matter how hard you try to swallow it down.
Finally, you can’t help but whisper, “You know what scares me the most?”
“Hm?”
“…that maybe I’m hoping it’s real.”
The apartment falls silent again. He doesn’t push you to elaborate, but you can feel his heart beating just a little faster inside his chest.
“I don’t know why,” you continue. “I don’t…I really don’t think I’m ready, but…but what if I should be? What if…what if we met and we started this because…because we were supposed to do this?”
He considers this. “Like fate.”
“Yeah.” You roll your lips into your mouth. “Because I still hate you. I do. I just…I’m starting to get this picture in my head of us. Being a family. Having a big house in a good school district. Tucking them into bed at night and reading them stories. Which is…dumb.”
“No,” he mumbles. “No, it’s not dumb. I’ve been thinking about it, too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Because I meant what I said, I’d love to get you pregnant. You’d look really fucking hot.”
You chuckle. “Yes, so you’ve mentioned.”
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“Uh…okay?”
He smirks. “I never had a breeding kink until I met you.”
You lean back and swat your hand across his chest. “You’re so annoying.”
“What? I’m being serious.” He grins and those dimples pop free. God, you hope your kids have his dimples—
No. Nope. You aren’t going there.
You shake your head, ridding yourself of the thought. “Whatever. You’re just horny.”
“Maybe. But it’s still true.” His gentle gaze sweeps across your face. “If you wanna do this…we’ll do it. You and me. We’ll have this baby, and we’ll raise it to be really smart, and funny, and to not take shit from anybody.”
You laugh, brushing away a few more tears. “Maybe we can teach it to write code.”
“Oh, fucking obviously.”
The two of you smile before the excitement seems to fizzle and Harry’s brows pull together.
“You know I don’t actually hate you, right?” he says.
You blink. “What?”
“I know that’s our thing, and I know you said it earlier, but…I don’t actually hate you. This baby wouldn’t grow up with two parents that don’t like each other.”
“Oh…I…I know.”
“Good. Because I don’t want that to be one of the reasons you think we can’t do it. I’d fucking love that baby. And I’d love you for carrying it.”
Instantly, you both seem to still. The four-letter word sounds so loud inside such a small room.
I’d love you.
He clears his throat, shifting a bit as he glances toward the kitchen. “I mean, I’d…I’d appreciate you for carrying it—”
“No, yeah, I know,” you stammer. “I know what you mean.”
“Good. Yeah.”
The two of you fall quiet again before you softly admit, “I think I’m ready to look.”
“Okay.” He squeezes your hip. “I’m right here.”
You take in a deep breath before begrudgingly pulling yourself out of his arms. You already miss his warmth and the way he felt like home and your stomach turns as you slip into the bathroom.
With trembling hands, you reach for the stick that sits on the edge of your sink. And in those three seconds, an entire lifetime flashes before your eyes. 
The good, the bad, and the everything in-between. You see a house and a dog and a big backyard. You see two little kids rolling in the grass and jumping into the pool. You hear them begging for a bedtime story and crying when they scrape their knee.
You see a dozen birthdays and holidays and visits to the zoo. You see their heartbreaks and triumphs, their successes and letdowns. You see a million goodnight kisses and cuddles on the couch. 
And then…you see Harry.
In every picture, every moment. Taking them to their first baseball game and picking them up from their first dance. Sneaking them into R-rated movies even after you explicitly said no and feeding them far too much candy and popcorn.
You see him teach your son how to tie a tie and dance with your daughter as she stands on his feet. You see him cooking breakfast in the kitchen, flour all over his face. You see him curled up in bed, his head on your chest, your fingers in his hair. You hear him tell you how happy he is. How glad that he found you.
It’s a beautiful life. Even if it’s not the one you imagined for yourself. And in that moment, you decide that it doesn’t matter what the test says. If that’s your future, so be it. 
As long as you get to live it with him.
“So?” Harry calls from the hall.
You swallow thickly and slowly glance down.
Negative.
Negative.
No baby. No pregnancy. No white-picket fence.
You stare at the test for at least a full minute. You aren’t sure how you feel. Relieved. Disappointed. Upset. Thankful. Confused.
“Tink?”
You turn around. “Uh…it’s negative,” you report, handing it to him. “False alarm. I guess I’m just late.”
He glances over the stick with a rather blank expression before looking at you. “Are you okay?”
You nod. “Yeah. This is definitely the better outcome. I’m just…”
“What?”
“I don’t know. I guess I was just starting to get used to the idea.”
“Yeah,” he murmurs, handing it back. “I know.”
You throw the test away. “Sorry for making you come all the way over here for that.”
“Hey, whoa—” He strides into the bathroom. “What the fuck are you talking about? Of course I’d be here.”
“I just…I wasted your time. I should have taken it before I called you—”
“Tink,” he sighs, taking your cheeks in his hands. “Stop. You can always call me for shit like this.” He looks at you, then amends, “You can always me. For anything. You know that.”
A tear slips from your eye without warning, and you suck in a sharp breath. “I don’t know why I’m so disappointed. This is what I wanted—”
“I know,” he says gently. “I know. It’s hard.”
“Yeah.” You hiccup. “But this is good, right? This is better?”
For a moment, he says nothing. He simply stares at you with a rather sympathetic expression. Or maybe it’s forlorn. Maybe he’s disappointed. Upset that you aren’t giving him what he wants.
Then, he dips down to kiss the tip of your nose. “This is good,” he whispers, and you know he means it. “We would have figured it out. And you would have been a wonderful mom. But I know you. And I know you aren’t ready. Not yet.”
You close your eyes and melt into the feel of his palms against your skin. Into the way he reassures you and protects you all in the same breath. You never thought you’d feel so safe in the serenity of his touch, but here you are. Wishing for him to hold you forever.
“And when we are ready, we’ll do it on our terms,” he says. “Okay?”
Slowly, you nod. “This is good,” you repeat to yourself. “It is. Really. Things are going great at work, I’m finally secure financially, and even you and I are…kind of getting along.”
He smirks.
“This is good. This is better.” You repeat the mantra until you really believe it. “Besides, I probably wouldn’t have been a very good pregnant woman anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. I feel like I’d be really cranky. Or needy. My ankles would get all swollen and I’d be hot all the time and nauseous and miserable. I’d probably try to kill you.”
“Oh, you’d definitely try to kill me. You try to kill me even when you aren’t pregnant.”
You gasp. “Rude.”
“What?” He chuckles again before his eyes slowly start to rake down your frame. “But I don’t know. I think it’ll be better than you think.”
You swat him again. “Stop it.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop trying to picture it.”
“Why? I told you, you’d look fucking hot.”
“Yeah…no.”
However, he only nods, moving in to subtly brush his lips against yours. “You would. Be so fucking beautiful carrying our baby. With your tits all swollen and your belly getting bigger every day.”
Truthfully, the image almost makes you grimace, but there’s something about the way he says it. The way he talks about you so reverently. A soft, sultry murmur that goes straight to your cunt. Because you know he’s not just saying it to say it. He means it. Believes it. Would do anything for it.
He tilts your head back, thumb brushing along your jaw. “And I think you like it,” he exhales. “I think you like the idea of holding me inside you. Having a part of me. Knowing that I did it to you. No one else.”
You suck in a soft breath, knees going just a bit weak. “Harry…”
“What, baby?” His mouth ghosts along your neck. “Are you thinking about it? Thinking about how pretty your tummy would look with me inside it?”
He’s evil. Absolutely evil, and you clear your throat in a desperate attempt to regain control of yourself. “Do you…have a pregnancy kink I don’t know about?” 
His lips quirk up. “Apparently.”
“Mm.” Your lashes flutter and the urge to kiss him grows stronger. “You know…some women get really horny when they’re pregnant.”
“So I’ve heard.”
“Yeah. I don’t think you could handle it.”
He scoffs. “Oh, no?”
You shake your head. “I mean, do you really think you could keep up? Going for hours and hours on end? Trying to keep me satiated with your poor, limp little dick?”
He makes another noise, and you tsk.
“I mean, you can barely satisfy me now as it is. But if I was pregnant? Pfft. Forget it.”
Instantly, he’s snatching hold of your hips and yanking you against his chest. “Don’t fucking tempt me, Princess,” he nearly growls. “I’ll bend you over right now.”
“No, I don’t think you will,” you retort. “You’ve gone soft on me. Rubbing my back, kissing my hair. You wanna take care of me and honestly? It’s a little pathetic.”
His head cocks rather deviously and your pulse begins to skip. He could split you in half if he wanted to and you both know it. 
But that’s what you need right now. You don’t want to be coddled or looked after. You wanna be fucked. Tortured and teased until you’re begging for release.
You want an escape.
And in that moment, Harry decides to give you one.
He picks you up and carries you out of the bathroom while your legs quickly work to hook to his hips for stability and your arms snake around his neck.
He ignores your squeals and teasing huffs of annoyance, instead dropping you onto your mattress with a soft thud.
You glare and push up onto your elbows. “You know, you don’t have to manhandle me—”
“Shut up.”
He surges forward, lips gliding against yours as he takes a taste of you on his tongue. And kissing is easy with him. As easy breathing, like you’ve done it all your life. You know exactly what he likes, what he wants. And you give it him.
His glasses are cold against your face, keeping him from getting as close as he’d like, and after a moment, he huffs, and rips them off before tossing them aside. And even though you adore when he wears them, you happen to adore being near him even more.
Your hands are in his hair, tugging on his curls, scratching down his neck. He has the added advantage of being on top, but that doesn’t seem to stop him from turning to putty in your hands. Clay for you to mold to your liking. 
No matter how dominant he tries to be, he’s simply a man that needs to be told what to do. Taken care of. Shown. 
And you happen to like showing him.
You feel him tug on the hem of your shirt. “Off,” he breathes between carnal nips to your throat. “I want this off, Tink.”
Happy to oblige, you push him back so you can lift yourself up before you peel the fabric from your chest. You take your time with the bra, allowing the straps to fall down your arms oh so slowly. You don’t rush to reveal yourself to him, instead letting him anticipate you. Until his heart is racing and his eyes are darkening and he’s resisting the urge to do it himself.
But once he can finally see you, he nearly groans. “Oh, good fucking girl.” 
He resumes his work. More kisses are left to the warm, tender skin, and he happily sucks bruises into each swell and curve of your breast before teasing the nipple with his tongue. His hands are greedy—ravenous. Pulling at your flesh, clawing his way along your frame. 
When he reaches your thighs, you whimper. You’ve missed the way he touches you. The way he pries your legs apart and makes a home between.
In a rush, he snaps your panties off into his fist and you toss him a punishing glare.
He smiles.
You rid each other of your remaining clothes in a frantic fashion until they’re nothing more than a dirty pile on the floor. Messy and familiar. Fated.
He drops down onto the bed back first, effortlessly swapping positions as you’re placed in a straddle over his waist.
“Good girl, let me see you,” he murmurs, running his fingers down your cheek before grabbing your jaw. “Go ahead.”
You reach down and take his hardening cock in your hand, running it along your cunt before teasing yourself with the tip. 
“Didn’t stretch you,” he mumbles, leaving a few stray kisses to your collarbone. “S’might hurt, so—”
You push him in, simultaneously sinking down in an effort to feel a more prominent burn., and you both make a rather lewd noise as the grip on your chin tightens.
“Tink,” he hisses with a punishing look of his own. “Careful—”
You drop yourself further, muscles tensing around the thickness until your thighs begin to shake.
“Hey—” He forces your eyes on his. “Enough. Be gentle, m’not gonna hurt you—”
“I want you to,” you pant. “Please. I need it. I…fuck, Har, I need it. Please…please.”
He’s still frowning but his expression softens. “Baby…not like this. Maybe we should wait until you’re feeling better—"
“No,” you whimper. Desperate. Fraught. “Harry, please, don’t stop. Don’t make me stop—”
“Hey, easy, easy.” He pulls your forehead to his. “Breathe. It’s okay.”
You try to obey. Try to suck in a strangled gasp of air but it’s useless. He’s gonna take himself from you. He’s gonna leave, and you’ll be empty, and alone, and maybe he won’t ever touch you again—
He places his palm on your chest, right over your heart. “Breathe,” he says again. Soft. Quiet. “In then out. Good girl, just like that.”
You follow the sound of his voice. Mimic his inhales and exhales until the two of you fall into a synchronized rhythm. 
“Good,” he says again, rubbing his other hand along your back. “There you go. You’re all right, I’ve got you. Yeah?”
Weakly, you nod. “I’m…I’m sorry. I just…I—”
“Shh.” He kisses your nose. “You’re okay, Tink. I know.”
A long moment passes before you finally feel in control of your own heart again and once you blink the fog from your eye, you see him. Delicate and strong at the same time.
He sweeps his thumb along your lip. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” you admit. “Really, I just…I needed to feel you. And I wanted to…move on, I guess. Think about something else. Lose myself for a bit.”
He sighs but nods his understanding. “You could have told me that.”
“I know. I guess I’m just not used to sharing things with you.”
“I know,” he echoes with a small grin. “But we’ll learn, yeah?”
Your gaze grows suspicious. “And why would we do that?”
“Because,” he says simply. “If we’re gonna make a bunch of hot, smart babies one day, we’re gonna have to communicate.”
You snort. “Yeah, well, that won’t be for a while.”
“Fine. Just gives us more time to practice.”
Your eyes narrow. “You really have gone soft on me, haven’t you? All because you thought I was pregnant."
He laughs, fingers slipping around the back of your neck to pull you in for a kiss. “I’d argue I’m actually quite hard right now.”
“Ha. Funny.”
“I can hate you and like you at the same time, right?” he teases. “Because I think that’s my sweet spot. Wanting to kill you and fuck you all at once.”
“Agreed. You’re insufferable but you’re also one of my favorite people. Which only makes you more insufferable.”
“Yeah.” He smiles. “I think we earned a little civility, no?”
You nod and take his lip between your teeth. “And I think we should celebrate with an orgasm.”
He laughs again. “I suppose that’s only fair.”
You dance your kisses down his chest, enjoying the way his head drops back while he sighs at the feel of your tongue. He’s so beautiful and so good and if you’re going to lose yourself, you want to lose yourself in him.
Leaning back, brace your hands behind you on his knees, and start to bounce yourself on his cock. Over and over, faster and faster, until he’s grabbing onto your hips and giving them a firm, encouraging squeeze to help you along.
Your tits bounce right in his face, and he takes advantage of his front row seat, allowing his hands to trace and tease your nipples as you whine. He sucks them into his mouth and pulls them with his teeth. It sends chills along your spine and goosebumps along your arms and when he notices, he smirks.
 Not even a minute later, he’s pulling you down so your chest meets his. His hands land on your ass with a firm grip and he drags you along his cock. Slow and sensual until your eyes flutter shut, and you disappear into the building pleasure.
You feel his kisses on your ribcage as he begins to thrust up into you. Returning to the pace you previously set until you’re both chasing that familiar high. 
“There you go,” he praises through gritted teeth. “Fuck yeah, just like that—”
“Harry,” you mewl, fingers tangling in his hair. “Shit, please—”
“I know.” He leaves another kiss to the inside of your arm before he smacks your left ass cheek. “I got you, Princess. S’okay. Keep going.”
You grind yourself over his lap, knees hugging his waist as you bury yourself in the crook of his neck. Needy. Anxious. You match each other’s rhythm and it’s a dance. An effortless fluidity that brings you closer than ever before.
Then, he sucks two fingers into your mouth, and moves them between your cheeks. He grazes them over your tighter hole, gently teasing them over the other entrance before dropping them down to where his cock is fucking into your cunt. He plays with you a bit, pushing you just a bit closer while you wail—depraved—and beg for more.
“My good girl,” he praises. He spanks you again. “Fuck—that’s it, baby.”
Your staccato whimpers are consistent now. One for every thrust and you can almost taste his desperation as he turns his head in order to kiss your cheek. The sound of skin against skin is crude and delicious. The way your body slides against his. Like butter on a hot day, melting together.
He goes faster, pulls you harder. Fingers digging into your skin so hard it almost hurts. But in the best possible way. In turn, you brace yourself with a palm on his throat. Squeezing it tight as you start to get closer. 
“Yeah,” he groans. “Shit…harder—”
You obey, pinching the sides of his neck until his eyes roll back. 
You can feel his heart racing against yours. You’re both warm. Hot. Shaking. A tangled mess of limps and depraved grinding like animals in heat.
“M’almost…m’almost there,” you whisper.
He nods, looking down your body to watch the way your ass bounces in his hands. “Go. S’okay, go. Let me feel you.”
He leaves more kisses to your side and the tender way his lips feel against your skin makes your brain go fuzzy. 
You grip his throat a bit tighter and just like that…it’s over.
The two of you cum together, the room filling with moans and gasps and promises. He settles beneath you while you ride out the rest of your high but he makes sure to keep his arm around you through every second.
Once you finally catch your breath, he hums. “God-fucking-damn.”
You grin. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He turns to see you. “I think I’m pregnant.”
You roll your eyes with a swat to his chest but you’re laughing. “You’re so annoying.”
“And yet you still like me.”
“I never said that.”
“You said I’m your favorite person.”
“Yeah, well, I lied.”
“Right.” He helps you ease him out before he’s flipping you around and moving himself between your legs.   
You blink. “What the hell are you doing?”
He lifts two fingers and eases them along your swollen pussy. Collecting the white, sticky substance already leaking out before easily pushing it back in.
“Harry,” you scold. “I think we’ve had enough breeding for one day.”
He smirks. “Relax, Tink, m’not breeding you. I just…like to see it drip out.”
Your heart leaps. “…oh.”
“Yeah.” He rests his cheek against the inside of your thigh in order to watch. “S’always so fucking pretty.”
You reach down and card your fingers through his sweaty curls. Happy and content for the first time in days.
He looks up. “One day,” he promises, even though it sounds more like a question.
But somehow, in this moment, it makes everything else worth it.
You grin.
“One day.”
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AAA I can’t believe we finally did it!! I’m not gonna lie them being soft with each other is gross 😭 BUT ALSO CUTE!! YAY PROGRESS!!
Thank you so much for reading and for always being so nice!! 🥹💞💞 and of course thank you for the amazing idea hehe
Also, if you see any mistakes……no you don’t 🫶
~  Full 404 Masterlist
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rbfclassy · 3 months
Text
AFTER HOURS! — NANAMI KENTO
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thinking about nanami coming home late at night after a long day at work. You're fast asleep in bed, tucked under the covers while he takes a shower. You wake up to the sound of the water running, tired eyes taking notice of the bathroom light peaking out from under the doorway and your husbands watch on the nightstand. Not even five minutes pass by and nanami walks out the bathroom with nothing but his boxers on, damp hair framing his chiseled face as the towel hangs around his neck. You can't help but stare, eyeing him like a piece of candy, toned muscles reflecting from the bathroom light.
"Sorry sweetheart, did I wake you?" He asks with a soft voice, switching off the bathroom light. You swear you could feel yourself drooling over the man in front of you, so glad that you get to call him your husband.
"Darling, my eyes are up here," he chuckles.
"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry, no, I'm fine." You stumble over your words. Nanami has a smug smirk on his face as he crawls into bed, hovering you before planting a kiss to your plush lips.
"Cat got your tongue?" He questions, pecking your lips.
"Maybe," you playfully say. "But you wanna know something weird?" You suddenly bring up. He hums in response, peppering your neck with delicate kisses.
"I think I just started ovulating, like, right now," you say in a sarcastic tone.
"Oh, yeah?" He smirks down at you. "That is weird. I wonder what could've caused it..."
"I know, right!? What a coincidence!" You shake your head in disbelief, scoffing. "Definitely had nothing to do with you walking out of the bathroom with practically nothing on and wet hair."
"Oh, definitely not!" He chuckles, causing you to giggle. His hands sneakily make their way to your shorts, pulling at the waistband.
"Yeah, no, of course not!" You shake your head with furrowed brows. "But," you plant a kiss on his lips as his hand continue to pull down your shorts, "in no way am I complaining."
"Me neither, darling. I'm gonna enjoy tonight."
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3K notes · View notes
lokissweater · 28 days
Note
Hi!!! Hope your doing wonderfully 🫶I absolutely adore your work! And this is the first time in asking anything, but if you haven't yet can you do a shy guys x popular reader with a lil spice but no smut! I'd appreciate it 🥹 have a lovely day or night 🩷
YUUUMMYYY oh my goodness i spiced but i think i spiced too much and if i did i am SO SORRY IM JUST A FREAK!!! but i hope you enjoy this piece and thank you so much for sending in a request!! MWAHH <33
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∘˙○˚.• DON’T BE SHY ∘˙○˚.•
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{pairings (separate): shy satoru gojo, megumi fushiguro, & yuji itadori x popular f!reader}
summary: how the boys are pathetically down bad for favorable you <3
warnings: college!au, mentions of drinking, HELLAAA sexual mentions and theming mdni, no smut but girl damn near it, pining af, cursing, aged up characters, afab!reader, pet names, they want you BAD in each of their stories HEHEHE, mentions of alcohol.
word count: 5.3k
authors note: WHO WANTS MLB!MEGUMI BC I SURE FUCKING DO!! HES COMING NEXT MY LOVES but here’s a little something to keep you fed in the meantime <33 I HOPE YOU GUYS LOVE IT! ILY!
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∘˙○˚. SATORU GOJO ∘˙○˚.
satoru wasn’t by any means a loner in college.
he had his own cute little group of friends and his own cute little outings and his own cute little interactions with his classmates, his rank on the popularity scale running somewhere around the middle (something he can thank his gorgeous eyes and gorgeous face for), but never even coming close to where you were at, a place many tried to reach but never had the qualities that you did— your place being at the top.
but satoru was too shy for his own good. too timid as he watched your breathtaking magnificent self walk down the halls and right by him in between classes— surrounded by people, you barely even noticing him, but him already memorizing the exact scent of your perfume you chose to wear that day, watching with love struck eyes and sweaty palms as his sickingly sweet obsession over you only grew by the years.
you were an absolute goddess in his eyes. you could never hurt him or be mean to him even if you tried, and it was a little pathetic how much he liked you— his little boyish crush that only shrunk him down to the mere size of a lady bug, his increased bashfulness when you’re around only doing him more harm than good as it started to affect his studies and sleep schedule.
but that wasn’t your fault, oh absolutely not.
it was his. all his. he wanted to take the blame for everything. he doesn’t care what.
even when you accidentally bumped into him at a party one night because you were a little tipsy, him stumbling over and you apologizing profusely as his heart stopped upon realizing it was you. and even when you accidentally dropped your red solo cup on his favorite blue washed jeans later on, your alcoholic beverage leaving a patch of wet on his thigh that made you apologize profusely to him again, satoru shaking his head and telling you repeatedly that it was his fault. he was in your way. he should be sorry.
you could dump an entire twenty five ounce bottle of smirnoff on his head and he’d still tell you he was to blame. that’s how much he liked you.
so as you gently took his hand and tugged him to stand up, you leading him through the crowd, your fingers interlaced with his? satoru went into a fucking frenzy.
his cheeks burned as you led him up the stairs and to the nearest bathroom, your lovely skin tight dress squeezing and hugging you in every right way in front of him that he internally panicked as he felt his dick stretch against his jeans, him wanting to end it all as he hoped you didn’t notice it and think he was a pervert.
“oh my god i’m so sorry—” you pulled him in and shut the door behind you, silencing what seemed like twenty different people calling out to you, for your attention, satoru swooning over the way you paid them no mind in return and focused entirely on him.
he felt so lucky.
he awkwardly sat himself at the edge of the tub as you crouched down and rummaged through the cupboard below the sink, your lips in a cute pout.
“i always get so stupid when i’m buzzed and i totally didn’t see you when i was walking…”
your tone was whiny and apologetic, and satoru’s heart physically could not take it.
“it’s— it’s okay..” he mumbled shyly, cheeks pink. “it was me i—” he averted his gaze once you turned to look at him. “i wasn’t paying attention…”
“but are you okay though?” your voice was immensely sweet and doting, it almost sounding like you were babying him as you walked over to him with a damp hand towel.
and he was all fucking over it.
he stiffly nodded and looked down at his lap, throat closing.
“i put a stain remover on this so i at least don’t leave a red mark on your jeans!” you smiled, an enchanting one at that as your clear lip gloss glistened under the dim light. “and i’m really sorry again! i hope i didn’t ruin the party for you…”
his eyes shot up and he shook his head frantically. “n—no! you didn’t it’s okay!” he tugged at the collar of his button up, feeling a little hot. “y—you did nothing wrong...”
you gleamed, and as satoru reached a trembling hand up for the towel to clean himself off, you pulled it back with a cute shake of your head.
“i’m doing it, silly! i’m the one who spilled it.”
“but!—”
you got down on your knees in front of him and his hands literally slapped over the edges of the tub as he gripped it tightly, his knuckles turning pure white as you calmly spread his legs and inserted yourself in between, your face fucking hovering over his dick and his cheeks turning even pinker as lewd thoughts dashed across his sick mind.
you noticed the look on his face and laughed.
“are you nervous? don’t be! i’m just gonna clean you up and ill be out of your way love.”
satoru didn’t want you out of his way, not ever. and the way you called him love had him already picturing you in a pretty white dress with a veil walking down the aisle to him.
he swallowed.
you had your arms resting over his thighs for support as you rubbed a circular tugging motion over the spot on his jeans, your eyebrows pinched in concentration as you tried to get the red stain out, your soft hair slipping from your shoulders and landing over his lap with satoru’s fingers itching to touch it.
“at the last party i threw, i also spilled a drink on a guy.” you giggled.
he felt a twinge of bubbling jealousy.
“did you—” he nervously looked at you. “did you also… help him?”
you smiled cutely. “nope! because he was making out with someone in the middle of my kitchen and he was in my way.”
thank god.
you huffed and leaned back to sit on your calves. “like— have some decency. i get you want to have a little kiss but if you’re doing it right where the vodka mix is? blocking it? i’m not helping you. your girl can help you.”
satoru giggled a little, and you folded the towel neatly and settled it beside you, proud of your work at removing the stain from his pants as you set your hands on your hips.
“and what about you?”
“me?” he mumbled.
“mhm!” you raised a silly brow and leaned closer to him, satoru inching backwards nervously at the proximity. “have you ever made out with someone like that?”
“well— well—”
satoru’s never kissed anyone.
“well what?”
he ran a slow embarrassed hand through his fluffy white hair and grimaced.
satoru is timid, shy, friendly, and a dork. but one thing he isn’t? is a liar. especially if it was you— even though all he wanted to do in life was impress you and have you not think he was a fucking loser.
“i’ve never uh—” he struggled. “kissed… someone.”
his words were so quiet and mumbly, completely ashamed of himself as his cheeks continued to glow pink.
but your eyes widened.
“what? you’ve never kissed anyone?”
he shook his head, eyes to his lap.
“but you’re so hot?”
satoru shot up. “h—huh?”
“yeah!” you grinned. “you are! have you ever had a girlfriend?”
he shook his head again.
“what?! how?!”
you placed a shocked hand over your mouth, your voice soft and astonished. “what a crime…”
he smiled shyly at your compliments, reduced to absolute putty in your hands at the moment as he couldn’t believe you thought he was even remotely attractive.
you confidently swung your arms up and threw them around his neck, and he froze.
your eyes were really suggestive, your gorgeous face looking up at him and his wide eyes looking down at you, your fingers gently running across the back of his neck and hair as he almost whimpered at what you were doing.
“wanna kiss me?”
“y-you?” he choked out, and you giggled softly.
“uh huh! o—only if you’re okay with it—” you pulled away a little, shoulders deflating. “i just figured—”
satoru noticed the way you started to lean back, your arms slipping from around his shoulders and his hands shot out then— grabbing your wrists as he pulled you back in and settled them around him.
was this real? actually? or was he just really drunk?
“yes!” he settled down a bit, sheepish. “yes i—i’m okay with it.”
you took in his eager bashful expression, and grinned.
“okay!”
you leaned and kissed his soft lips, pulling satoru in as his fingers shakily snaked over your waist and around you, not believing for a second that he was actually kissing you.
and you moved your lips slowly and delicately over his, trying to pry his mouth open more with your tongue and guide him on how to kiss you back, him diverting all of his focus to that as he tried to mimic your movements.
it started with innocent pecks at first, you trying to ease him into it and not make it overwhelming for him as you carefully amped up the difficulty little by little.
and he got the hang of it, fast, and you squeaked a noise of surprise when he suddenly shoved his long tongue in your mouth and slid his hands further down to your ass, squeezing as if he had every right to, completely forgetting that he technically didn’t.
what a greedy little thing… but you loved it.
he instantly pulled back.
“sorry i’m sorry!” he sputtered, pulling his hands to his chest like he’d just touched something scalding hot. “i don’t know why i—”
you giggled. “it’s okay! i liked it.”
“y—you did?”
“uh huh!” you nodded, leaning in seductively. “maybe you should do it again… and maybe underneath my dress, to get a better feel y’know?”
satoru couldn’t even respond as you latched your lips back on his, and he kissed you back desperately, wanting to impress you and do good for you so he could properly earn the right to feel you up like you had requested.
but he got greedier, and his hands were back on your ass squeezing and palming the fat of it, breathing heavily through his nose as he started to tug your dress up a little to feel your skin, the lace of your panties grazing his fingertips and making him fucking light headed.
his body was literally numb as you pulled apart suddenly, both of your lips swollen and red.
“wanna go to my room?”
∘˙○˚. MEGUMI FUSHIGURO ∘˙○˚.
“if i can’t do it i’m turning the car around.”
“megs you cannot do that when we get there though!”
megumi shook his head. “and why not?”
“because you’ll scare every one away! what the hell is ‘with this treasure i summon—‘“
“yeah so that way everyone will think i’m a freak and leave me the fuck alone!”
you and megumi have been best friends since middle school, carbon copies of tweedle dee and tweedle dum as your personalities matched with each other’s so identically yet so differently at the same time, that you both bickered every waking second you were together.
which was all of the time.
though you had a better reputation than megumi did. you were popular, beautiful, and everyone wanted to get to know you as your unique personality struck joyous chords with anyone that was lucky enough to come across and get to know you.
all things megumi would never admit out loud to your face.
and he was just regular— popularity and social statuses something he didn’t give a shit about as he kept to himself and didn’t speak to a single soul unless it was yours.
“but i thought you said you wanted to come with me!” you whined.
megumi huffed and made a sharp turn as he drove. “you dragged me i told you no i don’t like parties and you started crying—”
“okay and?” you grumbled. “what so now i can’t cry in front of you? i can’t show my emotions and use my right of freedom of speech?—”
“oh my god.” he dragged an exasperated hand down his cheek. “you’re putting words into my mouth—”
“and you’re putting knives into my heart with how much you hate me.”
he parked on the side of the street and turned off the ignition, hooking his keys on one of his belt loops before he gave you an annoyed look.
“am i not in the car.”
“you are.”
“and am i not here at this party with you.”
“you are.”
“so what more do you want.”
“a kiss.”
“fuck off—” megumi pressed his hand flat on the side of your head and nudged you away before stepping out of the car with pink cheeks, your laughter ringing through the air as you shut the door and ran to catch up with him.
“just be nice please. my friends sometimes wanna talk to you and you look like you’re plotting.”
“maybe it’s because i don’t wanna talk to them.” he mumbled.
through his hard exterior, you knew megumi was just shy, and often times had difficulty talking to people or expressing himself— you really being the only exception in his life.
that’s why in every social situation that you dragged him to, he clung to you like sticky stubborn gum and never left your side— you of course not minding at all and it actually making you feel better to have him always there, your thing being interlocked pinkies as you navigated.
“no it’s because you’re shy and that’s okay!—”
megumi scoffed and kept walking, but the minute you both walked across the lawn and up the steps of the porch, he turned around and let you in front of him— his pinky out like usual.
you smiled softly to yourself and looped yours with his, pinkies closing like a lock before you pulled him inside.
it was dark and humid as fuck already, and you tried your best to politely push through the crowd of hammered and sweaty people in search for the kitchen, you not realizing how megumi literally pushed and shoved people behind you so they wouldn’t topple you over, them too inebriated to care.
“y/n!”
“hi guys!” you gushed, your crowd of friends beaming at the sight of you and handing you drinks without you even having to ask, you passing one back to megumi smoothly.
you both mostly spent the night mingling and drinking with your friends, playing little games and giggling quietly whenever someone would ask megumi a question and he would just stammer in response, blushing and grumpy at your teasing once he got the interaction over with.
and at some point, half of your friends had gone to the main area to dance, and you turned to him.
“megs.”
“yes.”
“do you wanna dance with me?”
“fuck no.”
“whyyyy!” you whined, dropping your forehead on his shoulder.
“because i don’t like dancing.”
“no one’s gonna notice anyways! it’s dark over there like completely.” you looked at him. “just come with me please.”
“no.”
“i’ll give you a kissy.”
megumi gave you a deadpanned look. “what is it with you wanting to give me a kiss?”
you ignored his comment. “i’ll do anything.”
“nope.”
“fine.” you stood up and tugged your dress down. “i’m just gonna ask some other guy and maybe when i tell him he’ll get a kiss out of it he’ll do it—”
megumi quickly grabbed your wrist, eyes narrowed.
“are you actually?”
“yes.”
his heart dropped.
“you’re gonna pimp yourself out for a dance?”
“yes! you know i love to dance—”
megumi stood and grabbed your hand, dragging you to the dance floor as you cheered and happily skipped behind him.
upon arriving, he remained stiff, bored, and fucking nervous with flushed cheeks and crossed arms while you danced, gently swaying and moving to the beat as bright neon laser lights occasionally drifted across the crowd— illuminating red cheeks and sweaty bodies.
it really was incredibly dark, and megumi could barely even see you standing in front of him as the bass of the music drummed through his body.
he let you when you reached up and uncrossed his arms— instead wrapping them around your waist as you threw your arms around his neck, him swallowing thickly.
“dance megs.” you spoke gently in his ear. “like this just sway—”
you moved your hips a little more, and though he didn’t exactly copy you, he stiffly just kind of swayed with you.
“i hate dancing.”
you laughed. “do you hate me?”
“no.”
far from it actually.
“then this should be fuunnn! just let loose a little.”
“i am letting loose.” he grumbled.
“you feel like a little stick though.”
“a stick?!”
you giggled loudly, throwing your head back as you did, the sight making megumi melt.
“yes! i’m gonna start break dancing if you don’t.”
he gave you an incredulous look. “huh? you’re not serious.”
“that i am.”
“y/n i’m moving with you i’m dancing—”
“but your arms are just around my waist! you’re not even moving with me what are you talking about?!”
“what are you talking about?!”
you huffed and stopped moving. “i’m gonna dance with someone else—”
you let go of him and turned but megumi only pulled you back.
“no you’re not and you’re not kissing them either so don’t even think about it—”
“you can’t tell me what to do—”
you pushed at his chest with both of your hands, trying to get him to let go of your waist— his strong grip not letting you.
“why are you being such a brat?!” he exclaimed.
you broke free and started walking.
“a brat that’s gonna dance with someone else!—”
megumi flew and grabbed your shoulders, spinning you back around before literally smashing his lips to yours, your eyes widening in complete shock.
there was your kiss.
he pulled away. “s—sorry i—”
you shook your head and grabbed his cheeks, bringing his lips back in to yours as they moved sloppily and fast, almost matching with the music as his arms engulfed around your waist and pulled you in.
you swiped your tongue over his and whimpered, you figuring he couldn’t hear it over the music but being dead wrong as he felt the blood rush to his dick the minute he heard it.
you pulled away. “what are— what are we doing?”
his chest heaved as he looked at you, cheeks pinky like always and eyes blown wide. “i don’t— i don’t know—”
you wiped your wet mouth with the back of your hand. “do you wanna— stop? i—”
you didn’t know why you were asking, knowing damn well you didn’t want to stop.
“fuck no.”
“okay—”
and his mouth was back on yours, kissing you and running his hands up and down over your body in absolute need, you doing the same as you ran your hands over his chest and down, down, down…
“can i—” you spoke in between kisses. “i’m gonna—”
megumi did it for you and pressed your hand flat against his groin, you palming him slowly as he took in a sharp inhale and broke from your lips, his arms coming up to wrap around your shoulders with his cheek mushed up against the side of your head, eyes screwed shut at how good it felt.
you continued to palm him through his jeans, going a little firmer when you felt his breath literally tremble in your ear as he shook.
“shit—” his arms tightened around you. “wait—” pant “i’m gonna cum in my pants if you keep—”
“do it.”
“no!” he choked and his hips pressed into your palm, wanting more. “let’s go— to the car. the car please—”
you nodded and pulled back, but stopped.
“megs if we do this we can’t go back, okay?” your chest heaved, a little fidgety. “we can’t— we can’t go back to being just friends i don’t wanna be just friends—”
he shook his head and looped his pinky with yours, leading you through the crowd and speaking over his shoulder.
“we won’t.” he started.
“i don’t wanna be just friends anymore either.”
∘˙○˚. YUJI ITADORI ∘˙○˚.
being good at math had its perks.
yuji was able to get by in every math related class, never had an issue with studying, and even tutored some of his friends and classmates as a side job to pay for his college classes and tuition.
but the minute you approached him one day— you, one of the most popular girls on campus, president of your sorority, life long crush and the most gorgeous girl he had ever seen, asking if he was able to tutor you on wednesdays?
being good at math became a blessing and a curse.
yuji thought he was well off at math… but if he was to tutor you, he wanted to be fucking albert einstein at it so he didn’t look like a fucking idiot if he happened to come across a topic he didn’t know how to teach.
and as he sat on his desk chair in his dorm, textbooks and materials laid out and ready to go as he wiped his clammy hands on his pants for the thousandth fucking time, he heard you softly knock on his door.
oh fuck.
“hi yuji!” you greeted sweetly, him smiling back at you as he stepped to the side to let you in.
“hey! were you able to find my building okay?”
you both walked over to his desk and sat down, you right next to him on an extra chair— your perfume engulfing his senses and your pretty hair over your shoulders neatly.
“oh no i was fine!” you got your little notebook out with your pencil case. “one of my friends is dorming in this building too so i knew where it was.”
he nodded happily and politely, shitting it inside but doing a damn fucking good job at not showing it— though the reddening of his cheeks was something he couldn’t control no matter how hard he tried.
since you could only see him once a week, the duration of the tutoring sessions was a lot longer than the rest of his clients, and though yuji literally offered to tutor you for free whenever you wanted, you profusely denied and mentally decided to pay him double for his kindness.
you nervously fiddled with your fingers as he opened the textbook and flipped through the chapters you needed help with, and upon noticing, he frowned.
“sorry is it hot in here? i could open—”
“no! it’s okay!” you shook your head. “sorry i just— i’m really bad at math so i’m sorry if you can’t get anything through my head…”
you giggled nervously, and yuji just about cried.
“oh! don’t worry about that! that’s why i’m here to help.”
he beamed, his smile so big and bright that you found yourself copying his exact expression.
he was so nice.
“right!”
and he did help. yuji was exceptional at teaching, and concepts you had found hard to grasp before during class by your own professor was easy peasy with him, his bubbly and animated way of teaching you something that pulled you in and kept you engaged.
after two hours of tutoring, yuji sat back on his desk chair and exhaled.
“phew, let’s take a break! is that fine?”
“mhm!” you chirped, putting your pencil down and smiling. “you’re really good at teaching yuji, like really good.”
“oh thanks!” he blushed, giving you a cute little smile. “i— i like math so i just, teach y’know..”
you nodded. “what’s your major? is it something to do with that?”
“oh no—” he shook his head. “i’m majoring in finance so i get a lot of math classes.”
“huh?!” you gasped, completely astonished. “i thought your major had something to do with teaching i’ve— i’ve never understood math before until you… you’re brilliant!”
he gulped, your praises washing over him and making him feel tingly all over.
yuji gave you a wobbly shy smile. “t—thank you y/n!”
you grinned kindly, your pretty face making him want to word vomit how gorgeous he thought you were and maybe even sort of ask you to be his wife.
“do you um— are you thirsty? i have—”
he shot up clumsily and walked over to his mini fridge. “i have water? here—”
he didn’t even let you respond as he took a bottle of cool water and handed it to you, you taking it gratefully.
“i— i also have these!”
he reached in again and gave you a little glazed donut pastry, wrapped neatly in a clear bag that had the bakery’s logo on the front.
“oh no yuji it’s okay!” your eyebrows pinched together in worry. “i don’t wanna take what’s yours just the water is fine!”
he shook his head and closed the fridge, sitting back down on the chair next to you. “it’s all good! it’s your reward for hanging on for two hours of tutoring.”
his smile was so kind and sweet, and you bit your bottom lip as you softly thanked him.
“how’s um— how’s your sorority going?” yuji asked.
“my sorority?” you tilted your head to the side. “how’d you know i’m in a sorority?”
“oh! well—” he went completely fucking pink. “s—sorry you’re kind of popular so i just heard..”
you hummed and quickly nodded. “no it’s okay! i didn’t know people were talking about me like that.”
you laughed a little, and yuji thought you were so humble.
“it’s going great! it’s really kind of you to ask.” you crossed your legs and leaned an elbow on your knee, your chin coming down to rest on the palm of your hand. “it’s a little stressful to manage but i love my girls so, they definitely make it easier.”
yuji lit up. “that’s great! i’m glad it’s going well… i— i know i don’t know much about sororities and things like that but i have no doubt in my mind that you’re the most qualified and deserving of a position like that…”
your eyes softened, and your heart literally ached in the best way over his compliment.
“thank you yuji… seriously. you’re so nice!”
you giggled, and it made him gnaw at the inside of his cheek.
the tutoring session continued after that, and just when you had reached your final hour, you slumped over his desk and groaned softly.
“i’m sorry yuji… my motivation is running out.”
he laughed softly. “it’s okay! it happens. if you want we can stop here—”
“no!” you shot up. “i have to get through it i’ll be so mad at myself if i don’t.”
he looked at you, his eyes gentle. “you’re doing really great so far y/n.”
you blushed, “thank you…”
you stood suddenly and reached over to flip through the pages of the textbook, completely unaware of the way your boobs were practically shoved up his face as his breath hitched, hands tightening on the arms of his desk chair.
you really hadn’t noticed, you innocently wanting to just look and see how many chapters you had left to cover, but when you sat back down and quirked an eyebrow over yuji’s flushed face and blown out pupils… it clicked.
was he interested in you like you were with him?
maybe…
“i need motivation.” you sighed.
he cleared his throat and tried to regain his composure. “i can— i can give you another donut at the end?”
you giggled. “it’s okay! i have an idea.”
he tilted his head, curious. “what is it?”
“maybe we can do like a reward system!”
“a reward system?”
“yeah!” you nodded eagerly. “for every page we cover, i get a reward!”
he sat up and smiled, “oh right! i’ll give you a donut after each page then!”
but you shook your head, and he deflated. “no?”
“do you know about hickeys?”
he choked, eyes widening dramatically. “a—about— well, yeah, i do.”
“maybe that could be my reward! a hickey for every page.”
you smiled at him so fucking cutely, as if you didn’t just ask him for something so raunchy, and his throat literally dried up at your request.
holy fucking shit.
“you want—” he wiped his hands on his pants. “you want a hickey from— from me? really?”
“yeah! only if you’re okay with it, definitely not if you’re not.”
“no i—” his eyes darted from your neck to your face. “i am…”
holy. fucking. shit.
your tutoring session resumed, and yuji literally could not teach you a single damn thing anymore, knowing that by the end of this page he was going to do something that only took place in his dreams.
after a bit, he turned the page and shifted his body to face you, nervous and clammy.
you smiled sweetly and took his hands, yours soft and heavenly as you placed his on your shoulders.
“only if you’re okay with it.” you murmured again softly, tone nurturing as your pretty eyes looked into his.
“i— i am.”
“okay! whenever you’re ready.”
yuji breathed in shakily and out, gulping before coming closer to your gorgeous neck and planting his lips on it.
your hands came to rest on his thighs as he sucked— slowly and carefully, not wanting to suck too hard and accidentally hurt you as his tongue flicked over the spot, the pressure of his mouth making you shudder as he continued to suck and create a pretty purple bruise.
he pulled away when he was finished with a wet smack, his breathing heavy as he searched your face for any indication that he did well.
and you glowed, looking at your reflection on the little mirror that sat on his desk. “it’s so pretty! i love it!”
a hesitant smile spread across his face. “r—really? you can be honest i—”
you looked at him. “no it was amazing! it felt really good!”
his dick twitched.
“okay let’s keep going now!”
well the motivation definitely worked, and funnily enough, you both got through the next page a lot quicker than before, yuji almost immediately turning to face you after turning the page.
this time, he placed his hands on your waist as he sucked. and he sucked, harder and wetter than before as his fingers pressed into you— his tongue running over your new hickey and dragging over the previous one too before reluctantly pulling back, his dick a literal bolder at this point as you squeezed your thighs together, both of your chests panting.
you had barely reached a quarter of the next page when yuji set his pencil down and turned, his cheeks flushed and eyes wide.
“can i please just give you another one?”
you nodded quickly, eagerly, as you both stood and he latched back onto your neck, his arms around your entire body desperately, grazing his teeth against your sensitive flesh and full on making out with it as he messily sucked and ran his lips all over your neck this time, a moan slipping from you as he did that it made you slap a hand over your mouth in embarrassment.
“s—sorry—”
“don’t be don’t be—” he breathed quickly, walking backwards until the back of his legs hit the bed and he sat, pulling you with him and grabbing at your thighs for you to sit on his lap.
you listened, your neck littered with yuji’s hickeys as you subconsciously and softly grinded on his crotch, him groaning into your neck and biting down harder as your breath hitched.
yuji lost it at this point, all forms of moral out the fucking window as he dragged his long wet tongue from the side of your neck and up to your cheek, kissing and licking deviously at it as his hands squeezed hungrily over your plushy thighs.
he pulled back, eyes half lidded.
“can i—” pant “can i give you hickeys on your tits?”
————————————————————————
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