#bag of dicks

[trump666traitor]

[tracyorama]

[reku1]

Scaramouche with a bag of dicks this is also about my last Scaramouche post how do you think people would react like if the bag just fell and a bunch of dicks fell out how would people react on god what if someone went in his bag because thay needed something oh god nahida I pray you don't check that bag

[xxyikesmanxx]

[chlamydia-biohazard]

[prairiefirewitch]

I can’t believe this outcome. Last week the shelter called me to tell me they’d cancelled all 3 adoption contracts bc the kittens were still sick. I’d noticed the week before that one kitten was a little lethargic and wobbly and it turns out that she has feline leukopenia. The other 2 kittens now have respiratory infections, a symptom of leukopenia, plus still positive for ringworm. They were released into the general cat adoption population too soon, and now many other cats may now be affected. Because I raised so much hell, they offered them all to me, sick and likely to die. I asked for their vet to assess them, and today they contacted me and admitted that all three are probably infected with leukopenia. I’d already contacted my vet to see how they could be treated and odds are 50/50 and my costs could run to 10k. This is such a shitty, sad situation. I’d budgeted $1000 each for any treatments they’d need, and was willing to take them all, even with the virus, but my vet quickly disabused me of that notion. I don’t have the funds to treat them. There’s a slim chance that a rescue will take them, and I’ve let FWAS know that I’d make a hefty donation for FVP treatments to help them along, but I’m told it’s unlikely they’ll be taken in, therefore euthanasia for all 3, and unknown other kittens at this shelter location bc they were all in general adoption population. If you’re one of the assholes who told me to stop harassing shelter employees, fuck you 1 million times over. They knew the shelter was rife with this infection and didn’t alert people. If they had kept them in medical the full 1-2 weeks, they maybe would’nt have caught the infection or wouldn’t have been exposed to it at all in an open adoption area. Or given it to the 30 other cats in the room with them. Thanks for chiming in with your “but the children” when everything was about the health and safety of the kittens. And I’m the Karen…

@exoercista #eatdicks

@ccaroline.mercer #bagofdicksforyoutoo

[prlssprfctn]

Every time another joke about Batman/Bruce Wayne passes by me, I can't help but imagine that the whole rumour about these two dating was originally (and probably accidentally) created by Bruce himself.

Just imagine, a teen Bruce, still only starting with his vigilante career, makes a crucial mistake - he pays with his own credit card in front of people, while being Batman. A stupid, absolutely instinctive mistake, but in his defence he wasn't sleeping normally for a week, and had an open wound in his stomach that day, so. Whoops.

And then someone asks Bruce Wayne about it, in front of a thousand cameras. And he blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind.

Reporter: So, mister Wayne, recently citizens had reported that they saw Batman paying for the damage in the city... with your credit card. Care to explain details behind this?

Bruce, smiling stupidly: Oh, he is my ex. I sometimes sponsor him.

The crowd: (goes wild)

Alfred, starting at the interview back in the Batcave: ...We are never going to get rid of this, are we?

And guess what? They don't!

Bruce thinks that with time passing, with his love interests switching and new rumours spawning in the world, they might forget about it. He was young, he was stupid - he fucked up, alright?

But decades pass. He has a whole football team of kids. Everyone still ship Bruce and Batman.

And when this stupid video accidentally gets resurfaced on the internet again, his family goes insane. They start creating even more stupid rumours on galas.

Reporter: Mister Wayne... For years now, the crowds are speculating... Who is exactly your mother, and where is she now?

Damian, sighing pitifully: My father and my mother don't enjoy contacting each other, sadly. My mom says that their relationship was just a rebound; father desperately tries to forget Batman... Still, to this day.

Bruce, gripping the glass of champagne: ...

Talia, watching this interview with Ra's: Now, that's my son right there.

Dick: Oh, why I was screaming at Batman in the middle of the street a few days ago? Oh, this bastard- I mean, this respectable vigilante, he dared to get in the argument with Bruce. He can't really leave him alone, really! They are so insane about each other... So toxic, but so, uh, captivating... But you know, Bruce! He has such a fragile heart...

Gotham: Aw-w, poor mister Wayne!

Bruce, sighing: Jesus Christ.

Tim, shaking his head to the camera: I hate Red Robin, really. Did you know that his existence is just a direct offence to my father? Yeah, actually, Batman took this kid under his wing with another man - I am not going to tell who - to make dad jealous. This is disgusting!

Jason, who returned from the death by pretending that all this time he was under the child protection system after becoming an accidental witness of the second Robin's death: Oh, yeah, it was tough... Poor kid exploded in front of my eyes! Reporter: But, mister Todd-Wayne, what were you doing in that warehouse?

Jason, wiping fake tears: They were like my divorced parents, you know... Batman and Bruce. Batman really tried to mend things with dad back then, and wanted me to like him... We just wanted to spend some time together with him, and that Robin kid... God, it was terrible... Batman refuses to contact me now. I miss my second dad...

Bruce, back in the Batcave, watching as Batman's reputation goes lower and lower: ........................... Alfred: Well, master Bruce... Bruce: Not a word. Al. Please.

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

[chasinkookioe]

I think it’s funny to think that whenever Jason shows up to ANYTHING with a duffle bag the batfamily and co think there could be decapitated heads inside:

Dick: whatcha got there Jason?

Jason: my luggage for the mission??

Dick:

Jason:

Dick:

Jason: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU GUYS THERE AREN’T HEADS IN HERE

Dick: THERES ALWAYS THE POSSIBILITY

Jason: I HAVEN’T KILLED ANYONE IN MONTHS

Dick: THAT WE KNOW OF

I imagine that then the Justice League becomes weary of Jason with duffle bags due to the bats. So the outlaws could be helping with a mission and:

Superman: Hood if it’s alright we’d like to search your bag?

Red Hood: there’s just my gear inside

Superman: we just want to double check it is your gear…

Red Hood:

Red Hood: not you guys too

Red Hood: THERE AREN’T ANY DECAPITATED HEADS INSIDE

Arsenal: at this point you should just put heads in there.

Red Hood: I’m not trying to get back on the Justice Leagues Wanted list Roy

[heyyallitssatan]

I love when Gotham treats the bats as respected heroes solidly in the moral good most of the time

And then the entire rest of the world views them as unhinged dubiously moral vigilantes barely held back by the superhero community that trusts them for some inexplicable reason

And they don’t present themselves any differently Gotham just has such a skewed sense of good and normal that the bats seem pretty sane and reasonable

[superbat-lmao]

Before Jason makes his debut as Red Hood, he goes apartment hunting.

And the thing about Gotham is, all of the apartments that would make for good safe houses, are safe houses. The Bat’s safe houses. If Jason wants to set up shop, he’s got to get creative. This means being willing to look the other way about some things. Namely, living with other people.

Jason gets a roommate.

Sure, he’d found a couple of spots that fit some of the criteria he used for making safe houses, but not all apartments were equal. And having a semi-functioning civilian cover was useful. Sometimes.

All this to say that Jason responded to a craigslist post of some guy looking for a roommate. The post was written well enough, decent grammar and a fair enough price. Unlike some of the places he’d “toured.”

He has to trudge up a few flights of stairs to get to the place, because roof access is always high on the priority list, and knocks on the door. He waits a few minutes, hears someone check the peephole, and then the sound of at least five separate locks being undone.

With the door finally open, he gets a good look at the guy’s face. Too good of a look, actually.

Because the man who opens it is Dick Grayson.

[theartistonthemoon]

I ain’t saying NOTHING

[azulhood]

Danny was tired, like 'I feel it in my bones and soul' tired. And he didn't want sleep at home because there's only so many nights, he could spend lying awake making sure his heart was beating in case his parents checked on him.

Currently he was flying aimlessly not really taking in his surroundings, but he could neither sleep while flying or fly forever. Normally he'd sleep over at Sam or Tucker's, but the Mansons had made it clear that he wasn't welcome at their house anymore and Tucker was grounded. Both would sneak him in if he asked, but he didn't want them to get in trouble for him. Which leads him to decide between his two choices, sleeping in a graveyard, or sleeping in a forest.

The graveyard was a little crowded with all the ghosts that called it home but he could probably find a quiet spot to sleep. The forest had a great view of the stars but was filled with traps from both his parents and the GIW after tracking his ecto-signature. Both options weren't appealing, but he wasn't about to chance sleeping on the roof of his house again. There were too many ghost detecting guns attached to it now. Danny sighed, graveyard it was, at least the ecto from all the shades/ghosts would hide him well enough. Decision made, now all he had to do was make his way over there. But first, where the heck was he? Danny looked around at the unfamiliar grey sky and gargoyles littered around and realized he had no clue where he was. He must have flown too far away from Amity without noticing...Again. It was really becoming a bad habit. Danny stared down at the city's inhabitants that were going home or heading to nightshifts or whatever and dreaded the long flight back to his town. And maybe it was ghost instinct, or maybe it was just his exhaustion. But his brain suggested 'What if I just possess someone?' And to him that seemed like a perfectly logical train of thought. He wouldn't control their body or anything, just sleep in their skin...That did not make it sound better at all. Before he could think twice, someone left a general store, arms filled with stuff and somehow projecting an aura of safety. The two thoughts of 'They look comfy' and 'screw it' clashed together in his head as he made the very stupid decision of performing a swan drive right into the someone. "WHAT THE-" "Don't worry, I'll be gone by morning I just need to sleep" Danny cut off the persons freakout-he should really get their name at some point- he would have explained more but the sleep gods had already done their job. This left one very confused, scared, and freaked out Batkid.

[frawstedcreations]

I guess you could say we deal in dick.

Find our large ones here!

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

How did Jason fit 8 heads in a duffle bag? Am I dumb? I'm looking at my duffle and I'm like how my guy? Did this fucker play Jenga? Was it leak proof? Like seriously how?

(I am packing, not taking over the drug trade)

[demonic0angel]

Ex-Girlfriend (click for clarity)

I don't think that Dan necessarily fell in love with Kori, it's more like he got the ick from Dick after seeing Kori and knowing that Dick fumbled 💀

DON'T ASK WHY IT'S LOW QUALITY I MADE THIS ALL WITH MY FINGERS BC MY PEN BROKE

Image description:

Panel one has an angry looking Dan. His expression is dark.

Dan: *thinking* I heard that Nightwing's ex was here. Hah! I bet she's—

Panel 2 has Dan stopped in place, wide eyed as he freezes.

Panel 3 is Koriand'r, just being her usual beautiful self. Roses are around her and the words 'sha la la~' are placed around her.

Panel 4 is basically the same as panel 3, but with her face close up. Roses are still around her and now there's the noise effect 'Whooaaa~'.

Panel 5 has Dan in chibi form, gobsmacked as he is blinded by Koriand'r's radiance. The words 'fwaaaa' are above him, alongside sparkles and a golden light.

Panel 6 is presumably happening after this, with him slouched over a table, a bottle of rose next to him. He has his hand on his head and looks horrified. Behind him, Jazz is poking her head into the dark room.

Jazz: Hey, you alright?

Dan: *as he's sweating* No, I'm rethinking my attraction to a dumbass.