#cassandra the oracle

[couldtheybekira]

For your consideration: Cassandra was an oracle who was cursed by Apollo to always have true prophecies but never be believed, which could be interpreted as even if she straight up said 'I am Kira' no one would believe her. (Mod Rem)

[bianc0re]

Take a picture, it will last longer

[ultimate-marysue]

It's raining nonstop where I am so I'm just picturing the Batfam during a flood.

Red Robin uploads a TikTok from the safety of a roof saying "watch him go!" As Red Hood keeps trying to drive his bike against the current. A big wave comes by and he's slowly dragged downhill. The caption reads "don't drive during floods".

Batman and Robin are on the ground helping civilians out of cars when the intensity doubles and in minutes Damian goes from wading knee deep in the water to swimming. The emergency batfloaties get triggered and he floats away as Bruce fails to grab him by half an inch. "Robin serenely drifting in the current" becomes a meme.

Someone takes a picture of a very flustered spoiler trying to squeeze the water out of her cape. The second she lets go the weight of the water makes her fall ass over backwards. Black Bat ends up giving her her waterproof cape.

Signal makes mirages of sharks in the water to scare the shit out of any criminals. Oracle uploads the recordings with Benny hill as background music. Bludhaven escapes the worst of the storm and Nightwing sends pictures to the group chat patting the barely wet concrete just to rub it in. He still slips on a puddle and eats shit, Barbara sends that to the group chat.

[catastrophicalcat]

Batkids sleepover

Wayne Family Adventures

[itssacarose]

had some fun drawing random batfam headcanons (pt 1? let's see how it goes)

[non-binary-lil-star]

Bruce, introducing his kids at a family Interview: This is my eldest Dick, my second eldest Cassandra, then my son Jason, my second youngest Tim, and my youngest Damian

Bruce: That's my daughter-in-law Barbara, and my other daughter-in-law, Stephanie

Tim: ??? Steph and I broke up forever ago?? How is she your daughter-in-Law?

Stephanie: I may not be dating any of you anymore but I'm the State of daughter-in-law. Daughter-in-law is not a family title, it's the friends you make along the way

Jason: I'm not high enough for this shit

Golden boy Dick Grayson: Me fucking neither

Jason: what

Dick: what

Bruce: ??? What do you mean she's not my daughter-in-law anymore?? I was counting on her marrying into the family :C

Steph: Sorry B, unfortunately your son would rather kiss superbitch than me

Dick: TIM IS KISSING WHO NOW

Bruce: >:( We'll talk about that later, right now-

Tim: I don't think that's necess-

Bruce: We'll talk about that later. Right now can't any of you date her?? Jaylad, you're sin-

Steph: HELL NO

Jason, already on his second blunt: You're so funny, old man. I'm literally co parenting my best friends kid. I'm literallyyyy be gay do crime. Haha.

Dick: YOURE WHAT WITH WHO NOW

Bruce: CAN ANY OF YOU JUST DATE HER

Cass, slowly raising her hand like in Hunger Games: I volunteer

Bruce: ...

Tim: ...

Dick: ...

Bruce: This is why you're my favorite daughter 🥹

Cass: Father, I'm your only daughter

Tim: Untrue. I did drag one time, that has to count

Steph: Does this mean I have a girlfriend

Damian: This family is a disgrace

Interviewer: ...

[dcoraclestan]

Wonder Woman: this feels… unethical.

Red Hood: don’t care, we’re settling this debate once and for all!

Batman: get me out of this thing!

Spoiler: not until you tell us who your favorite kid is.

Nightwing: the lasso only works if you ask it like a question.

Robin: father, please tell the others that I am your favorite child so we can put this ridiculous debate to rest.

Nightwing: once again, question.

Batman: Diana! Get me out! Now!

Wonder Woman: I’m also curious, and they paid me.

Batman: I can promise you, I can give you more than what they offered.

Batgirl (Cass): now, Batman, out of all of us, who is your favorite child?

Batman: *all but bitting his tongue off*

Red Robin: you know you’ll have to say it. Just say it. Just say “Tim.”

Batman: it’s Ace!

Everyone: …

Batgirl: the dog?!

Signal: yeah, that tracks.

Robin: you mean you love the dog more than your own blood?!

Red Hood: this hurts less than if you said Damian, so I’ll take it.

Spoiler: I knew you wouldn’t say me, but wow.

*Later*

Batman: *paying Diana* thank you for not using your real lasso.

Wonder Woman: I don’t believe it should be used for petty purposes… however, I have to ask, do you have a favorite child?

Batman: of course I do. It’s-

*a loud train passes by*

Oracle: *listening over comms* Dammit. Don’t worry, Cass. He’ll admit it’s you one day.

[astrovvitches]

📸family fun!

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Headcanon that since Jason can’t go out with his family publicly, what he does instead is show up in random disguises.

Bruce is chatting up some socialites at a gala, talking about the joys of fatherhood and how rewarding it is. Meanwhile he made eye contact with Jason disguised as a waiter twenty minutes ago, and is currently trying to stop his eye from twitching.

Dick is speaking to a third grade class as a part of the Bludhaven Police department outreach program, except when he walks in Jason is sitting behind the teachers desk, playing the role of substitute.

Babs can’t help but stare when Jason hands her a coffee from behind the counter of her favorite coffee shop. (His name tag reads Peter, and for a second she thinks she’s actually lost it).

Tim walks into Wayne Towers one day and on his way in, he waves to his secretary- lo and behold Marjorie has been replaced by Jason. It takes him three hours to notice.

Cass walks into ballet class to discover her teacher had to take a sick day- his replacement is Jason in a beret who talks in a terrible French accent the entire class, only to drop it at the very end to talk in a thick New Jersey accent. Her entire class talks about it for weeks.

Stephanie hails a cab on her way home one night, only to find Jason driving. She’s not sure how he pulled it off or how he got a cab, but her mind is effectively blown.

Duke is on a school trip to the natural history museum, and when the tour guide introduces himself, Duke can’t help but role his eyes. Jason gives a surprisingly good tour, even throwing in some tidbits about a robbery that went down just last week that the Signal stopped.

Damian’s encounter happens when he’s with Jon in metropolis. He’s watching Jon play baseball, and when Jon steps up to bat, he can’t help but notice a the umpire looks a little familiar.

[forgetfulsynapsid]

Another picture of the BAT-family!!! Bruce will make them all fit under his wings if it’s the last thing he does.

[kaattlin]

sleepy

[theartistonthemoon]

The biggest reason Cass is the only natural option as heir to The Batman comes from the fact that every other character’s growth relies on them at some point either removing themselves somewhat or completely leaving the Bat symbol behind. Cassandra is the outlier whose found a reason to live on as that same symbol.

We can argue day and night who the best vigilante, detective, fighter, hero, strategist, or whatever is but none of that changes who can survive being the symbol without losing themselves in the process of following Batman’s footsteps.

[random-sparks-98]

Listen... All I know is that the kids I babysit were singing that one Gummy Bear song and next thing I knew my brain made a parody

[sanjismistress]

Things I’ve overheard as the Batfam

Bruce: $15 is not real money. Bitcoin is real money

Jason: You just gotta die with a little piss in your pants

Dick: My life is teetering on becoming a Dead Dove: Do Not Eat fanfiction

Stephanie: They’re all straight men I bet, and therefore inferior to me

Babs: I’m in a wheelchair you have to fight me

Tim: Fret not, I have my Disney Princess Gummy Vitamins I eat by the handful. Theyre the only thing keeping me kicking

Duke: Id rather break another bone than take a straight ball shot

Steph to Cass (or vice-versa): You know everything about me, including my social security number. Why don’t you know my boob size?

Damian talking about his animals: They’re such beautiful creatures until they throw up in your lap

The kids talking about Bruce: I wonder if he knew he’d spend his career babysitting a bunch of queer autistic kids

Bruce talking about the kids: They’re abominations of nature but they’re MY abominations of nature

[demonicsuffrage]

Jason definitely tries his best to keep his siblings out of crime alley but they just. Don't listen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tim, arriving into crime alley while Jason's injured, to solve a case that Jason had stopped him from meddling in: Finally, He's not here

Jason, standing directly behind Tim, with a punctured lung and a gun full of horse tranquilisers: Boo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason, putting up a barricade in front of the alley: Stop coming into my territory already!

Dick, backflipping over the barricade and into Crime Alley: It's payback for when you cosplayed Nightwing and came into Bludhaven.

Jason: ...Fine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian, at family dinner: Todd, I demand that you allow me entrance to the alley-

Jason, spraying him with water like a misbehaving cat: no.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steph, wearing camo print and openly walking into crime alley: You can't see me right now, so you can't kick me out

Jason:

Jason: Good one. You can come in for ten minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Barbara, trying to fly a drone over crime alley because Bruce wanted reports: This is foolproof

Jason, sniping down the drone: No.

Barbara: I jinxed it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duke just waltzes in and out because he works during the day and Jason doesn't. Cass also waltzes in and out because she blends so well with the shadows and he never spots her.

[ditzybat]

Dick, sighing: it’s hard being the only emotionally adjusted one in this family

Tim: LOUDDDD incorrect buzzer

Jason: you’re the most like Bruce out of all of us, and that man isnt exactly the poster child for emotional stability

Damian: I concur, while Timothy and Jason see their feelings as afterthoughts, and fear mine underminded - you, Richard, brood and suppress until the miscommunication blows up in your face, just like father.

Tim: exactly, the most expressive and normal one of our colony are the Batgirls… and that’s saying something