#dick and damian are obviously a secret third thing (batman and robin)

[cleromancy]

lmao anytime someones like "the only batkids that have an ACTUAL sibling relationship are--" qnd then they say LITERALLY ANY OF THEM BUT DICK AND TIM i know they have absolutely nothing of value to say. about anything. bitch that was like 15 years of textually established thoroughly depicted brotherhood absolutely no iffiness no hedging no maybes, dick was tims brotjer before bruce even adopted dick in dicks 20s and well before jack even died. educate urself 😤

[creatureofmystry]

MLB x DC Universe Headcannons

I just love the idea of MLB and DC (expecially Batfam cuz Mari is such a Wayne) being in the same universe and crossing over. So one night, I just had an idea overload of different ways the Marinette would know the batfam/be a part of the DC universe. And if any of my shitty ideas somehow inspire or prompt you, then please be my guest. 😊 _

1) “Ladybugs of Past and Present”

Hippolyta, Wonder Woman’s mother, was once a previous holder of the ladybug miraculous. When Fu activated the miraculous and put them in circulation, Hippolyta could feel its magic waking back up. Knowing there must a reason for it to be out, she sent a message to her daughter. Diana searched, finding Marinette and Adrien as the present holders of the ladybug and cat miraculous. She vouched and brought them into the Young Justice program while they also made their own team, Project: Zodiac (or something like that).

[Sometime when Diana takes Marinette to meet Hippolyta]

“Great Hera, Tikki, you have not aged a day” -Hippolyta, cause she does know how to make joke. 

“And I would say the same to you” -Tikki

“Mother, you can make a laugh?” -Wonder Woman, honestly a bit confused cause her mom have never not been serious before.

And Marinette is just speechless cause she’s starstruck meeting Wonder Woman’s mom AND a previous Ladybug holder.

_

2) “Rockstar Niece”

Jagged Stone is Marinette’s Sweet Uncle J. During the summers, Jagged Stone would take Mari with him on tour. HIs summer tours are throughout America, so Mari gets to sightsee the country. Jagged’s first tour that he gets to take Mari on (5-ish), he’s also booked for the annual (for whatever reason) Wayne Summer Gala. When Marinette meets the Waynes, they are so enamoured (Dick and Tim couldn’t help it) that they tell Jagged he’s always invited as a guest, Mari of course being added to the permanent guest list too. About 6 years later, Mari is practically adopted, spending the first half of her summers with Jagged, going to the Wayne Gala, then spending the rest of her summer with the Waynes. Overtime, she figured out the secrets of the family and was there to welcome Jason back from the dead (when that happens). Anyways, now 11(-ish?) Mari meets Damian and the two become good friends… after an… impressionable first meeting.

“Tch, let me guess, you’re another one of father’s adopted strays” -Dami

“YOU MUST BE DAMIAN!!! DICK TOLD ME ABOUT YOU!!” -Marinette, who just ignores what he said for a hug.

“hiiiiiiiiissssssss” -Dami, touchy with touch

“...” sprays water in his face since he decided to act like a cat.

“I say, Master Bruce, the children are getting along quite well” -Alfred

_

3) “Pen Pals” 

Jon Kent and Marinette Dupain-Cheng are part of an international pen-pal program, starting when they were very young (maybe like 4 or 5-ish, super super young) where they told each other everything (Jon can’t just say that his older bro is a clone made from Superman and Lex Luthor’s DNA, or that his dad is Superman, or that his best friend is Robin, but yea. Lois and Clark probably proofread his stuff until he’s like 9) with pictures and everything. When they’re old enough to get phones & stuff, they call, text and vid-chat along with their letters (love without blood). When Mari is maybe 9-11 (somewhere around there) she starts flying over during the summers to hangout with Jon (and his friends and big brother). While there, she meets Kon, Bat fam, and Clark (some who she already knew, some who she didn’t) & lightly hints that she knows who all they are once she figures it out (it didn’t take her long to do so). 

Now whenever she visits and is at Wayne Manor (Jon likes to have sleepovers practically every weekend) while they’re on patrol, Mari subtly messes with their minds (super subtle, they’re the world’s best detectives after all) until they finally look through the cams and see Mari giving them one of those smiles (those shit-grinning cause it’s just so hilarious how it’s gone on for so long) & and a playful wink. 

[5 seconds later]

“Mari!” “Pixie-pop!” “Angel!” “Teacup!”

“Seriously, am I the only one with a normal nickname for her?” -Tim

“Ms. Marinette would like to inform you that ‘it took you long enough’” -Alfred (who so knows that the girl has been playing them since the third night she stayed at the Wayne’s)

“Where are my adoption papers?” -Bruce (who is seriously adopting any talented black-haired child)

_

4) “Mari and Mar’i” 

When Mar’i is young, Dick and Kori take her with them to see Paris (btw, this would be during the winter). They’re strolling along through a park and lose track of Mar’i who finds Marinette (9-10 ish). Marinette comforts and distracts Mar’i while noticing the young(er) girl is Tameranian (her hair is very warm and she’s wearing significantly less layers than should be worn for a human of that age during the winter, plus that sun-kissed skin tone. She’s seen Kori in her fashion magazines (and, from time to time, on the news as an ambassador) so she easily make the connections). Dick and Kori finally spot Mar’i with Mari who introduces herself to them. Mar’i asks if she can see her “Auntinette” again and Marinette just goes “if your parents are okay with it.” Dick and Kori are totally cool with it (not many are willing to watch her and have the time to do it) so they ask Marinette if she can babysit Mar’i whenever (with good pay of course) if she’s up to it (cause she’s still pretty young). Marinette can’t say no to Mar’i’s babydoll eyes (and she’s so much easier compared to Manon, who’s only 2 rn), so of course, she says yes. 

Now Marinette is Mar’is official babysitter and sees Mar’i often whenever her parents drop her off (using zeta tubes to quickly get to Paris and back). Marinette gets treated like an honorary Wayne (cause she’s the most responsible) and gets invited to their family stuff (w/ travel pay taken care of, of course). It doesn’t take her long to realize the fact that she babysits Bruce Wayne’s & BATMAN’S granddaughter, but of course, being the responsible one she is, keeps the secret… while also playing with them via Mar’i.

[One Day]

After Marinette leaves for her plane…

“Uncle Dami!”

“Yes, Spawn?”

“Auntinette said to tell you after she left that Robin’s sut needs a major upgrade & that you look like a traffic light… whatever that’s supposed to mean.”

[Another Day]

“Uncle Jay!”

“What’s up kid?’

“Auntinette said that to let you know that Red Hood doesn’t make any sense ‘cause Red Hood wears a helmet. Not a hood.”

[The next time]

“Uncle Tim!”

Yawn. “yea?”

“Auntie told me to give you this” (pulls out super caffeinated coffee) “and that Red Robin’s cowl is a menace to all things fashion”

[Again…] 

“Daddy!”

“Yes, Starshine?”

“Auntienette said she’s proud of Nightwing’s costume ‘cause it’s one of the only in the batfam that isn’t an astro-city to the fashion society.”

_

5) “Marinette, the one who’s always getting chosen”

Before Mari became (becomes(?)) LB, she comes across a different powerful piece of jewelry, from a different order of guardians where her will of mind is not only her shield from being akumatized, but it is also what drives her powers. That’s right, Mari walks past a flea market and activates a GL ring. The guardians pick up on this activity and send Hal (it is his sector) to check it out. Hal finds the ring with Mari but it still needs the light of a GL to charge and fully work. 

[During the explanation]

“Look, kid-”

“Marinette.” 

“Look, kid, I just need to know why you have that ring.”

“You think I know? I was just walking through the market and all of a sudden, this possessed ring, if that’s even what this is, started following me, then zipped in front of my face til i held my hand up so it can put itself on my finger.” 

“Kid-”

“It’s MARINETTE. Get it wrong one more time and you’ll see why I don’t need a possessed piece of alien jewelry.” -Marinette, making sure you get her name right. “Besides, if I stole it, I would remember. I’m a klepto” -Marinette, probably holding his ring too at this point.

Hal obviously doesn’t want the wrath of the Dupain-Chengs (just the kid Marinette scares him enough), so he tells the guardians that JL will take care of most of Mari’s training (once they get her a lamp for her ring, of course) & has her take part in training at Mt. Justice with the Young Justice team and special training with the Bats. Mari does all this under the guise of an international student exchange program for Mari to stay with the Waynes (not yet knowing that it’s the bat fam) and attends G.A. Mari doesn’t do much, but it takes her 24-36 hours to know who EVERYONE is.

[the next week after settling in]

“Hey, Mars,” -Dick, in his Nightwing gear

“Hey, Di-is the GREATEST SHOW!” -Mari, changing the subject(… not really)

“How long did it take you?”

“Not as long as the Kryptonians…” -Mari, going off into a tangent (still trying to change the subject”

[When Marinette meets Tikki]

Back in Paris:

“Sooo… I’m getting powerful jewelry that gives me powers and a suit, needs to be recharged, and comes from some Order of the Guardians? What’s the difference between you and my ring?” -Marinette, who at this point is very confused as to why she keeps getting picked on for this kind of stuff. 

“One’s alien, one’s magic” -Tikki, hoping Mari will end it there & lowkey hates that the GL Corp. got to her first.

“They’re both non-human made energy sources” -Mari, cause once you’ve seen it once, you’ve seen it all before. 

“You can’t heal the Akuma without the miraculous, and there are more than just rings. Yours are earrings, there are hair clips, bracelets, necklaces and more” -Tikki, after having a minute to think

“Fine, only because you said they’re the only way to heal the, what was it again, akuma?”

_

6) “Their Unofficial Official Barista”

Part of Tim’s job as Co-CEO, is to make sure all the branches are running smoothly, sometimes that means he has to fly abroad to manually check in. Tim goes to Paris to check on the W.E. Paris branch. He goes to a nearby Patisserie (Tom and Sabine’s) to see a young Marinette (somewhere from 8-11) drawing in her sketchbook at the counter. She explains that her parents are at a catering event, but she’s there to man the little bakery. Tim asks for a super caffeinated coffee and Marinette makes it with ease, claiming it was on the house with how bad he looks (and how much sleep the man clearly needs). Tim begs for her knowledge and asks if she can teach his butler. Mari’s willing to show him the next time he comes, so he gets the whole fam to go (viz tubes so they don’t waste time) maybe a week later. Everyone gets their own drink (plus a free pastries) and Marinette teaches Alfred her coffee, but it’s just not the same so Tim, using the tubes, goes to get coffee from the girl whenever he can. 

Mari is horrible at getting up on time (the life of an insomniac, never getting to sleep even if you want and then barely waking up on time) that she is up super early, makes Tim his coffee (plus a croissant) and tries to go back to sleep (making her inevitably late). Tim would walk up to the pick-up counter where his cup and to-go bag is while Marinette runs out of the house to get to school. Eventually, the rest of the Batfam (as well as the Laegue, TT, and YJ) frequent the place, slowly becoming (Dami too) Mari hides it, but she knew all the batfam the first day they came and she showed Alfred how to make the coffee. When the others start making more regular appearances, she learns the identities of YJ team, WW, GLs, and others. Obviously when LB and CN appear as heroes with HM as their villain, they immediately reach out to help. Because 1. Batfam clearly notices that it’s Mari and they sure as heck won’t let her deal with that by herself, and 2. The JL is worrying too much about their favorite barista (even though she’s not really one), especially with the Gigantitan scare. So, of course LB & CN (can’t make him bad everytime) get inducted into YJ.

[After Ladybug finishes defeating Gigantitan and detransforms] 

“Bean! Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?” -Tim, being an even more protective older brother than Dick, which shouldn’t be possible

“Yes, I promise. I’m fine” -Marinette, who just accepts the fact that she’s adopted an older brother (and his famliy)

“Tube over, we’ll have Alfred make sure” -Dick, already pulling out the medical supplies for Alfred.

“I-” 

“You shouldn’t worry your brothers like that, Marinette. Now come over so Alfred can clear you,” -Bruce, who just happens to overhear the conversation

“I’m sorry, Miss Marinette, they are very adamant that you’re in pitch perfect health before going out again,” -Alfred, who’s not actually sorry

“Fine” -Marinette, accepting her fate of her adopted, protective family. 

_

7) “Thicker Than the Blood We’ve Shed”

Why is Marinette so freakishly strong? Because she was trained to be. Before she could even talk, Mari was taught to be an assassin. She and Damian were frenemies, both competing for top spot as best in the League (of Assassins). They often spared together and became rivals who pushed each other (which sounds great in that context if you forget about the fact that they’re killing people and turning it into a competition). When Damian’s care is turned over to Batsy, Mari also comes along for the ride. She implements herself into Dami’s classes at G.A. & watches him from afar. (Damian, not being an idiot, of course knows all this and knows that it’s probably for Mari to give a report to Talia.) When he becomes Robin, Mari obviously knows, but waits to see if anything drastic would happen (his care was given to the Batfam, they had already expected this to happen.) She then heard word of the bounty Talia put on Damian’s head. Marinette knew there wouldn’t be much she could do to help, but she ave Dami a warning about the upcoming situation before fleeing the country. 

From there she got to France, changed her name (it wasn’t originally Marinette, it was Shénqí, chinese for miraculous/magical (or something else if you want)), was adopted by Tom & Sabine, and left her time in the League in the past. When she received Tikki, she didn’t want to be a hero because she didn’t think she deserved it after her up-bringing. Eventually, she did become LB (being a trained assassin does help with lucky charms, considering she was taught how to kill with basically every and anything), and life was good for her. Then Rossi came.

[Gotham field trip]

While at Wayne Tower…

“How idiotic are they?” -Damian, who after reuniting with his long-lost sister-from-a-different-mister (yes, Marinette was able to convince him to say it once), can’t understand the stupidity she has to deal with.

“Are you Robin?” -Mari, who is too tired, so just goes straight into the analogy

“Yes.” -Obvious and simply is.

“Exactly” -Mari, who can’t even put a limit to the amount of thought the one brain cell the class shares doesn’t use. I mean please, the so-called “reporter” believed that the first cosplayer she saw was the actual LB when they don’t even have the same hair! And let’s not forget the origins arc, where LB’s first citizen save was Chloe.

[maribatlife]

Unexpected Joys of Motherhood Pt. 2

Jagged is Jagged, Bruce and Dick find out about the shop, and Damian is disappointed

AO3

Pt. 1

As they landed in New York, Marinette felt the pull slip to the South-west, straight towards their final destination of Gotham. By the time they landed in Gotham it was Midnight, she had a cranky toddler, and had to deal with customs. Luckily, over the past year Marinette had learned how to get through Customs quickly, and, with just the slightest bit of help from Tikki, they got through Customs in record time. 

Next to the baggage claim, stood the familiar figure of Penny Rolling. Penny had already, efficiently gathered their bags and had a car waiting for them. Damian was asleep by the time they were in the car. 

“Jagged wanted to come pick you guys up, but I figured you would rather skip the media attention.” Penny spoke in low tones to avoid waking up Damian.

“Thanks, Penny. Do you know anything about the direction Jagged wants to go with?”

“That’s why he’s insisting on working with you. All he says is that it needs to be…”

“Rocking,” they finished together.

“So probably location inspired looks. Do you have the tour schedule?”

“I’ll have it for you first thing tomorrow.” The car pulled up to the Gotham Omni. “You’re already checked in, room 815. I’ll be able to hold Jagged off until 11, so he’ll probably want the consult around then. There’s a fabric shop down the street, that has excellent reviews.”

“Thanks again, Penny.” Marinette got out of the car, hefting the still sleeping Damian onto her hip, as Penny instructed someone to bring their bags up to their room.

Marinette barely got them both changed into pajamas before collapsing on the bed.

Damian woke her up at 10:15 that morning. “Maman, where are we?”

“Oh, ma puce, we’re in Gotham. Oncle Jagged and Tante Penny will be here soon. So, we should get ready, right mon lapin?”

“Oui, Maman.” Damian rushed over to the open luggage to start preparing for the day. “What are we doing today?”

“It’s a day with Oncle Jagged, so it’s going to be a surprise.” Under her breathe she added “Even to me.”

At 10:55 the room phone started to ring. When Marinette answered it, she was greeted by Penny’s voice saying “He���s on his way up.”

Before she could respond, Penny hung up and there was a knock at the door. Peering the peephole gave her an amazing view of Fang’s tail thumping against the door. Opening it with a smile she was immediately tackled by the overeager reptile before Damian dragged Fang into a weird game that only the two of them understood. She got up, only to be immediately swept into a hug by Jagged.

“How’s my favorite niece?”

“I’m doing go-ack” Jagged released her suddenly as Fang’s tail whipped across his shin. She shot a glance over at Fang and Damian, who suddenly wouldn’t meet her eyes. “I’m doing good. Do you want to jump straight to the consult?”

“Nope, we gotta wait for Pen. I’ve gotta surprise for ya.”

“Jagged, what did you do…” She trailed off as Penny entered the room.

“Don’t worry Marinette, I approved it.”

“Somehow that’s not helping me feel any more comfortable with this.”

“Come on,” Jagged grabbed her wrist as she grabbed her purse and dragged her out of the room. Penny following behind them with Damian, still riding Fang.

They finally stopped in front of a fabric store up the street. “Surprise!” Jagged exclaimed, a grin beaming from ear to ear.

“A fabric store?”

He followed her puzzled stare, “No, that!” he adjusted her positioning so that she was looking at the empty storefront next to the fabric shop.

“Jagged, no.”

He pulled a key out of his pocket. “Jagged yes!”

“Penny, I thought you said you approved.”

“I did, I talked him down from the entire block to just the building.”

“Penny-“

“Marinette, you always wanted to open a boutique. Now you can, plus the third floor has an apartment for you and Damian.”

“But-,” She thought about how right Gotham felt and sighed. “Thanks Jagged.” She grabbed the key. “Time to explore?”

Walking in just cemented how perfect the building was. The ground floor was a large, open space with a small kitchenette, perfect to greet potential clients and hold any ready-wear designs she had available. The next floor was one room. She danced across the room, as she pictured shelving units for bolts of fabric. Even with everything to do custom designs, there was still space for Damian to have a space of his own while she worked. “What was this before?” She wondered.

“No clue, but I knew it was perfect for ya. So watcha gonna call it?”

“Hmmm,” she pondered. “how about Coccinelle et Chat Couture. What do you think mon lapin? Should we bring a little of Paris’ light to Gotham?”

“I like it Maman.”

Jagged insisted on furnishing the store, he said it was for missed birthday and Christmas presents. Marinette, of course, pointed out that he had already bought an entire building for her, be he ignored that in typical Jagged fashion. Penny had later pulled her aside and told her it was written into her contract with them as a signing bonus.

As Marinette was trudging away at opening her boutique, low level hench-people were whispering and capturing Batman’s attention. He found out shortly after Robin was kidnapped by Riddler’s goons. Actually, Robin found out because the two goons on guard duty were gossiping, and then told the Big Bat.

“Ya know,” Goon 1 started. “I heard from Chris who heard from Nan that Jessiee is applying ‘round places.”

“Jesse, from Two-Face’s Gang?” Goon 2 replied.

“Naw, the girl one, runs with Scarecrow.”

“Now who’s gonna hire a Scare-girl? Ya gotta think, dummy.”

“There’s this new place Uptown, gotta weird foreign name. Benny told me that the chick who owns it has this weird interview thing.”

“It’s Gotham, it’s always weird here.”

“Naw not Gotham-weird, weird-weird. Like this guy, Benny knows he’s on the up, 100% legit, comes in and 5 minutes later he’s running out like Batman’s on his tail. Says the chick wanted him to pet a crocodile and then her kid came downstairs and he threatens this guy with a sword and like 2 secs later Ivy walks in with a plant and leaves with a dress.”

Before they could discuss anymore, Batman crashed through the ceiling and that was the end of that. A week later, Batman still wasn’t letting him go anywhere alone. The Dynamic Dou was staking out one of Penguin’s warehouses, when Robin overheard more. While he was perched on an overhang over a door, a few goons came out. There were the usual complaints: the weather, the night, the boss, Batman, the usual, and then, he heard it.

“You, did ya hear that Jess is outta the biz.”

“No way.”

“Yeah she found herself some job at a fancy-shmancy clothing store Uptown.”

“Who Uptown would hire someone with her record?

“The Priss who owns it apparently “liked her aura” or some shit like that.

Robin scurried back to Batman with the information. “B, you’ll never guess what.”

“Robin-“ he warned.

“Fine, I’ll tell you. That girl from Scarecrow’s gang got a job Uptown in a new store. AND Ivy was seen there too, we should investigate.”

Batman just stared.

“I’ll do it myself.”

“Maybe, if things slow down, we can investigate it next week.”

“Fine,” he huffed but recovered quickly. “Last one to the Batmobile is a rotten egg.” And he leapt off the building. If while swinging to the Batmobile he took a slight detour past the new shop, Batman would never know.

Marinette was headed for bed, when she just happened to look out the window as a flash of yellow shot past her bedroom window. No, it wasn’t possible. Chat Noir and she were the last child heroes. There was no way. With that thought plaguing her mind she tossed and turned until she eventually fell into a fitful sleep.

After he returned from dropping Master Dick off at school, he returned to the manor to find Master Bruce had disappeared into his super-secret sulking room, instead of reviewing the papers for the Wayne Enterprises Board Meeting he had tomorrow. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Alfred descended into the Bat Cave. “Master Bruce, what do you think you are doing?”

“Investigating,” he answered not taking his eyes off the computer.

“Indeed, then you have already read every paper Mr. Fox gave you to go over for the board meeting tomorrow?”

“Alfred this is-“

“Obviously more important than continuing the family legacy that funds this habit.”

“Alfred, Ivy bought a dress from this woman.”

“Ah yes, the shopping habits of an environmental extremist are infinitely more important than the future of Wayne Enterprises.”

Bruce sighed as he moved away from the computer. “Where are the papers?”

“On the desk, in your study. Do you need a reminder of how to reach there? It has been a while since you were in there.” Bruce moved past him, ignoring his last comment.

Across town, Marinette was sitting at her sewing machine, the store closed for the day to work on commissions. Jessie was amazing but she wasn’t quite ready to run the store without Marinette being available to help. As she sewed up one of Jagged’s jackets her mind wandered back to the small form that darted past her window last night. She would have heard of any child heroes left. Someone in Gotham would have mentioned it, wouldn’t they have? But what if? No, she shook her head, trying to banish the thought from her mind.

Damian watched her from across the room. Something was bothering his Maman, what could it be?

Reaching a point, to pause she decided to stop for the day. “Ma puce,” she called. “How would you like to bake today? I think Tikki might like some Macarons.”

“You’re done for the day?”

“For now, I might do some embroidery later tonight. Shall we?” She held her hand out to him.

“Okay Maman.”

While Damian patiently watched the Macarons cook through the front of the oven, Marinette started her computer. She had to know for sure. Lost to time she trawled through webpages, searching helplessly for information that went against what she found, until she had to accept it. Batman’s “partner”, Robin, was about the same age she was when she was given the Miraculous. And then she saw red, and it had nothing to do with Tikki blocking her screen. How DARE he? She was startled out of her rage, when a small hand grabbed her arm.

“Maman, the macarons are ready.” Damian said proudly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, bebe,” She replied as she took them out of the oven to cool.

“But you’re upset.”

She hastily searched for an acceptable answer. “I just learned that Heroes Day, doesn’t exist here. No one celebrates Batman and Robin or any other heroes here.”

“What if we leave cookies out for them Maman? Like you used to for Chat Noir?”

“That’s a good idea, mon lapin.” She replied as she filled the piping bag to put more Macarons in the oven. “Do you want to get a box together for them?”

“Okay Maman!” Something was wrong with his Maman and he was going to figure it out.

As dusk cloaked the city, Damian and Marinette carefully placed the box of cookies on their balcony. Later, after Marinette had fallen asleep, this was confirmed by Plagg, Damian slipped back out to the balcony with Xuppu and Trixx and carefully whispered his plan before climbing into a plant pot. Trixx’s Mirage covered the pot and hid him from anyone’s sight, while Xuppu waited for his cue in between the floorboards. And so, Damian waited and waited. What could have upset Maman so much? He had heard the slight tone of anger in her voice when she mentioned Batman. What had his father done? Hours past until he heard the tell tale thump of heavy combat boots, followed by a lighter thump indicating that both Batman and Robin had arrived.

“Robin, report.”

“All quiet here B. Only thing out of the ordinary is that box on the table. From the looks of it, someone left out cookies. Want me to check it out?”

Batman must have nodded because Damian heard Robin move towards the table. Perfect, the trap was set and ready to be sprung. As he poked his head out of the bush, he saw exactly what had angered Maman. Infuriated he leapt out. “How dare you?” He hissed. That was Xuppu’s cue. With a whisper of “Showtime” as he floated through the floor, a thin layer of oil spread beneath Batman and Robin’s feet. They turned suddenly and slipped due to the oil. “How dare you Father?” As he raged, he slipped into a mixture of French and the language of the guardians. “How dare you betray, Maman’s trust like that.”

“Who are you?” Robin asked, half in awe of the tiny toddler who was probably cursing Batman out in a different language.

“I am Damian al Ghul-Dupain-Cheng, and you Father,” he sneered as he stalked past the two heroes, still on the floor limbs akimbo, “Are a disappointment.” With that final proclamation he entered the home and locked the door.

Robin looked towards Batman, "So should I grab the cookies before we head to the cave or..."

[queerbutstillhere]

Addressing the Batman Conspiracy theories, on the Wayne Family true crime podcast.

(this is based off of my post. I just had fun with this, and yes it's very chaotic. I hope it makes sense!)

"Welcome, listeners, to this months episode of the Wayne Family Circus-"

"That is NOT what it is called and you know it!"

"Okay okay! Shut up Tim!"

There was a hard cut in the audio. You, the listener, smile and put your car into reverse, backing out of your parking spot, you had a long drive to get home, and hopefully this new podcast will entertain you.

"As I was saying! Welcome to episode seven of Crime In Our Midst - I still hate that name - today we are discussing our most requested case. The Mysterious Batman. We will be discussing where he came from, and conspiracy theories involving him," the voice said, ending with a hum. "Today, I am your host, and for anyone who doesn't know, I'm Dick Grayson, the eldest Wayne child. To my left is our illustrious father, and number one theory for today, Bruce Wayne."

"Dick, I told you I didn't want-" a new, deeper male voice started.

"Next to him is Jason, the second eldest and the wildcard of the family."

"Sup bi*****," was the voice response.

"Master Jason," an older accented voice inputted.

"Sorry Alfie."

"Then we have Cassandra Cain-Wayne."

"Hello!" A chipper female voice said.

"They can't see you wave, Cass."

"Oh, sorry."

"Tim Drake is also present, as always. Tim have you ever missed an episode?"

"No," a softer male voice said with a hum.

"Even Damian has missed."

"Tt, that is because I have a life, unlike Drake."

"I am literally a CEO-"

"And just then you heard Damian Wayne, our youngest and saltiest member. Say Hi, Damian."

"Salutations," a younger sounding, yet still accented voice said.

"So formal," the host, Dick, said with a laugh. "And always, we are moderated by our Butler and Grandfather, Alfred Pennyworth!"

"Hello, listeners."

"And this week, we are joined by special guest, Barbara Gordon, daughter of Ex-Commissioner, Jim Gordon. He's not here in person, because he said, and I quote, 'This is bs and there's no amount of money you could pay me to be on your weird podcast'. To which I would like to counter, Jim, we most likely could pay that amount of money-"

"Grayson, you're rambling again," Damian said, sounding annoyed.

"Why did Dick get to host this episode?" Jason asked.

"Because it's Bruce didn't want to, so it was my turn next, shut up Jason."

"Come at me!"

There was another hard cut and a few seconds of pause. You chuckled, already enjoying this pointless bickering.

"So. We're going to start at the beginning. Batman, the masked vigilante who guards Gotham and battles crime, appeared way back when in the 2000's. He was considered a criminal for a long time, mostly due to his method of fear and violence, despite that he never killed, and solved countless cold cases - much like we do, if I might add -" Dick started explaining, paper could be heard rustling.

"Yeah but we don't dress up in spandex and go out every night and punch people, Dick."

"Okay, obviously, Jason."

There was muffled sniggering and then a grunt as someone got hit.

"Boys, calm down and let your brother finish explaining."

"Thank you, Bruce!" Dick exclaimed, there was the beginning of a yell and then another audio cut.

"Batman eventually became a founding member of the Justice League of America, alongside heroes such as Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Green Lantern and the Flash. It was around this time his protege, Robin, joined his side for the first time. Batman would eventually become the hero of our city, stopping criminals such as the Joker, Bane, Harley Quinn, the Riddler, and Poison Ivy, whom we all Stan," Dick's smooth voice continued.

"Dick," Bruce warned.

"Continuing! It is believed that Batman has had five or six different Robin's over the years, including two female ones, though neither were Robin for very long. The Batman has become a international, and even interstellar hero, working with the Green Lantern Corp on many occasions. I don't think I need to go into further detail, as almost everyone knows who the Batman is. Now let's get into theories!"

"Oh, finally," Tim said, followed by a muffled yawn.

"Shush, Drake. Let Grayson finish talking."

"Now most the theories are about Batman's secret identity or where he came from, right? And obviously the number one theory is that Bruce Wayne, our dear daddy here, is Batman."

"Do not ever say those words again," Jason groaned out.

"I most likely will."

"Can we all just agree this theory is absolute bulls***?"

"Damian!"

"I am speaking the truth father. I live with you, I can confidentially say you do not spend your nights running around Gotham unless it is in a sports car with some annoying woman-"

"Master Damian."

"My apologies Alfred."

"Can I give the evidence?!" Dick exclaimed.

There was mocking noises, and yet ANOTHER hard audio cut.

"So the main source of evidence is that Bruce Wayne and Batman have never been seen together. Which isn't true, because I have seen, and there is photographic evidence of such, which of course, you can find on our website!"

"The second evidence is something about them having the same a**, which I would rather not go into because of obvious reasons. Third, is all of us kids, somebody on Reddit mapped out all of our arrivals with in a years time of the Robin's arrival, and they think that we are the Robin's."

"Implausible. Have you seen Drake? He couldn't be a Robin, he'd snap right in half. And the second Robin died in an explosions, wouldn't that be Jason?" Damian countered.

"There actually was a kid Bruce fostered for a bit named Jason that actually died in an accident," Dick explained. "People think that Jason is the Robin."

"So we're not going to discuss the fact that you had another kid named Jason?"

"Jason, we've already discussed this a million times, I did not bring you into the family because of your name-"

"Can I continue?!"

"Please," A female voice piped in, Cass.

"Okay, the rest of the evidence is just kinda, fishy, I guess? Someone reports having heard Bruce actively state he was Batman as an excuse to not be on a jury duty, but let's be honest, who hasn't? Lastly is that Bruce Wayne disappears a lot around the time big things are happening, which is quote 'awfully coincidentally.' but circumstantial. An example of this is about five years back, Batman and Bruce Wayne both disappeared for a week, and then when Batman came back, he was reportedly 'different, more cheerful, and more charming. Less threatening', while Bruce Wayne remainder missing. Nearly a year later, Bruce Wayne returned, and Batman once again became gruff and intimidating. Shall we discuss this theory?"

"I don't see what we need to discuss," Damian grumbled.

"It's really not good evidence, but it is a good theory," Tim chipped in.

Jason spoke next. "I haven't been here for long, so it seems plausible to me."

"Jason!"

"What?!"

More bickering. Audio cut. This is getting a little weird with all the audio cuts.

"I think we can all agree that Bruce is not Batman," Cass said finally.

"Dad thinks the Bruce Wayne theory is dumb, and he's been working with Batman since year two. They're nothing alike. He suspected Bruce for a few years, but started seeing them in the same room and area and finally had to drop the theory," another female voice spoke, sounding bored.

"See? So, not plausible, moving on," Damian said dismissively.

The next theory was about some random middle aged man, the whole team thought this one wasn't terribly plausible either.

The third theory was that Batman was some type of alien, and this caused a lot of loud bickering and arguing.

The final theory was that Batman was a vampire, and all the kids seemed to like this theory, while Bruce was less then amused.

"Okay, Bruce, who do you think the Batman is?" Jason asked the second Dick closed out his presentation.

"I think he's a hero who protects the city and the planet, and had saved my life, and the lives of those closest too me, many times. If he wishes to keep his identity secret, then we should respect that the same way we respect Superman and Wonder Woman."

"Boooooo!" Jason and Tim yelled.

"Come on, Bruce. Really, give us an answer."

"Okay, I can't because I do actually know who it is," Bruce admitted.

"WHAT?" Tim screeched.

"You know who the Batman is and never told us?!" Dick exclaimed.

"Did you really miss his speech just now?" Damian asked with a huff. "He obviously wants to protect The Batman."

"You won't tell us?" Cass asked.

"Nope."

More bickering over this for a moment.

"Okay, how many agree with Vampire theory?" Dick asked.

There was a pause in the audio.

"Okay that's four. Any takers on alien theory? . . . No hands. Smith theory? And that's one. Jason and Damian, do you want to elaborate?"

"I still vote for Bruce Wayne theory," Jason said with a sigh.

"OH MY GOD-"

"OW! BRUCE HE PUNCHED ME!"

"BOYS!"

There was muffled speaking and sounds of hitting.

"Damian?"

"I don't like any of the theories."

"Do you have your own then?"

"Not particularly, but I suppose if I would have to give one. . . I believe the Batman is just some random guy with some behavioral and mental issues, and decided that the best way to combat crime, instead of becoming a police detective, was to put on spandex and Kevlar and a bat mask and theme everything after bats."

Dick chuckled. "Well there you have it folks. We finally tackled the Batman conspiracy, now could you please stop flooding our social medias with requests for it? Take that as you may, but obviously, as Bruce said, even if some of our members may know the identity of the Batman, we will not disclose that information, because it's not ours to give away. It's his choice and his privacy, so do not ask us who he is. We will not tell. Guys, anything to say?"

"I'm tired-"

"Tim you're always tired!"

"Ookaaaay! Anyway, next month is Bruce's turn, since we switched, and as always, we'll be putting up a poll on Twitter to see what case you want us to discuss! Until next time, this is the Wayne family signing off!"

"Goodbye."

"Peace out."

"Farwell."

"Death is inevitable."

"Time is a social construct."

"Children- Thank you for listening!"

"Please free me from this hell-"

"And in all the other ways to say it, Goodbye, and Goodnight!"

And you, dear listener, were left to listen to dead silence for a few minutes until you reached your destination, thoroughly confused, and mildly unsettled.

[renaroo]

Cass Cain vs the Bat Family for the last slice of Alfred's pie. "Is that a challenge?"

A/N: This became a more Batfam entirety kind of story and then a commentary on the madness of quarantine in my own family using Uno as a proxy. Regardless it was a lot of fun to do.

Four Walls and Attitude 

Oracle places her hand against the map behind her. What was once a black and white scaled model of Gotham is now glowing a radioactive green with shades of green depending on the island, the neighborhood, and even the street.

Everyone, including Batman, stares in awe of the projection.

“In other words,” Oracle says, looking sharply over her glasses, “there is absolutely no way we can operate like normal without causing things getting worse.”

Silence spreads quickly throughout the cave. Most of them don’t even know what to make of the information.

Finally, giving voice to the general shock, Nightwing finally says, “Wow. Corona killed Batman.”

“It did not, the rest of you are staying in the manor,” Batman concludes, leading to an eruption of disagreement.

“Did you not pay attention to what I just said?” Oracle demands. “It goes for you, too, Bruce. No one in this cave can leave without it causing a major public health challenge. We patrol too many areas, cross-contaminate with each other too often, and, worst of all, we have immunocompromised family members of our own to worry about.”

It was an intentionally vague statement, but it doesn’t stop the meaningful glances toward Alfred and Red Robin.

Red Robin crosses his arms angrily. “I resent that statement.”

“Maybe keep better track of your spleen,” Red Hood snorts.

Black Bat is uncertain, shifting on her heels. “What do we do?”

“Social distance and adapt,” Oracle answers easily, straightening her glasses. “It’s possible to fight crime without punching people, you realize. That’s my entire M.O.”

The other vigilantes look at each other warily.

***

The size of the manor was enough reason on its own for them to make it their main base of quarantine. There are obviously more than enough supplies, more rooms than any of them could use independently, and access to equipment and the cave should emergencies arise.

Not to mention, the vast majority of them live there already.

Stephanie calls her mom, Barbara messages the Birds of Prey, and they all find solo activities for the first day, only really intersecting at the library, the kitchen, and the entertainment room during chance encounters.

That seemed to be a good call. And when there is a need for some social interaction, it’s almost always in their usual social groups however they naturally lie.

No one sees Bruce but that seems pretty par for the course.

It isn’t until the third day that things get slightly more challenging.

Stephanie, Duke, and Cassandra enter the mini-theater room with a giant tub of popcorn. The lights are off, but the projector is running and the main couch is occupied by Dick and Damian.

“Oh, didn’t realize you guys were in here,” Duke says sheepishly.

“SHH!” Damian hisses at them.

Dick arches back enough to look at the trio over his shoulder. “No problem, we’re watching Planet Earth. Want to join?”

Stephanie and Duke look at each other with mirrored grimaces.

Cassandra squints at the screen. “No,” she answers for them. “How long?”

“We’re marathoning,” Dick shrugs. “Started about an hour ago—“

“SHH!” Damian snarls at them again.

“We were hoping to watch a movie,” Steph says. Her gaze falls more on Damian than Dick, since he is no doubt the one to appeal to. “The Breakfast Club, it’s a classic. You’d like it.”

Duke looks at them all skeptically. “He would? Really?”

“Cass, you know there’s a different television set,” Dick says, pointing to the floor below.

“Tim’s playing,” Cass says in response, her hands holding up an invisible controller as she mimes Tim’s thumb movements.

“There’s a million places you can set up a laptop,” Dick continues to plea.

That earns a crossed look from Stephanie. “So? What do we need to do? Start putting signup sheets in all the rooms? Just share the projector with us after Planet Earth switches episodes.”

“No,” Dick and Damian say in unison.

The trio leaves the room angrily and, within the hour, clipboards with signup sheets begin being mysteriously adhered to all of the main rooms.

***

Jason has made it a point, nearly every day, to remind everyone that he will be the easiest adjusted to quarantine because he is the only true introvert.

The number of times the words introvert and isolated have left his mouth climb so high that, in secret, everyone is beginning to doubt the truth to them. If he is an introvert to the exponential extremes that he professes, surely he would not need to keep finding where everyone else is hiding to let them know it.

He has an alternating list of Zoom calls he is on each day. Hangouts he makes himself, making a point to inform the others quarantined to the manor than they are not invited to it.

The list of who is invited to it seems to grow by the day.

Kyle Rayner, Donna Troy, Ryan Choi. Then Roy Harper, Koriand'r, and Jade Nguyen. Then Artemis, Bizarro, and Miguel Barragan. Out of nowhere Duela Dent, Rose Wilson, and Suzie Su.

It’s halfway into the second week and Jason has the audacity to come into Tim’s room, pull off his headphones, and ask him if he’s bored.

“You know what I think,” Tim says, more than a little irritated. “I think you’re actually not an introvert. I think you’re not an introvert and you’re taking out your need for social contact out on the rest of us.”

Jason considers his comment, then breaks the expensive Beats in half before walking out the door.

***

Alfred begins making many desserts.

It starts with requests. Of course he will make whatever meal or whatever treat is asked of him, because it is nice to have all his loved ones safe, secure, and in the same location for once. Many of the desserts aren’t even difficult.

Then, somehow, they morph into bribes.

Despite the fact that Alfred has remained tight-lipped about his exact age for all these years, the quote-unquote children insist that he is too old to venture out of quarantine. Thus he must stay in the manor and rely on them to stock the pantry.

This doesn’t seem altogether terrible until it becomes obvious to Alfred that whoever he sends out will only get the foodstuffs they desire and not any of the important staples Alfred puts on the list.

Thus, the trades begin.

He can’t make his famous flan without evaporated milk. He positively will not make ginger layer cake without wine poached pears. And how can they snack on peach and pistachio tarts without honey?

Before Alfred has realized it, he has created monsters. Sugar craved, bored little monsters.

He puts a limit on the sweets he will cook in hopes of focusing instead on cooking favorite meals, but it’s too late.

Even Bruce is checking in on the kitchen at odd hours, looking curiously under the cake plate.

And cutting back the number of sweets Alfred is producing through the week also leads to another unforeseen circumstance.

They begin competing for what sweets are left.

***

Bruce looks in disbelief at the screen. Then he looks at the others. Then back to the screen.

“I distinctly remember us being on episode four,” Bruce says in a voice that edges on Batman.

“Last night, yeah,” Duke agrees, helping Alfred with everyone’s drinks.

No one else seems to find fault with the statement and are waiting for Bruce to continue. They pick at their independent devices lazily, only half attentive to any one thing.

It’s very dissatisfying considering the huge inconsistency that Bruce is detecting on their streaming service.

“Why is it saying that we’ve watched all the episodes already?” Bruce demands, voice sounding more hurt than he meant to let on.

Dick and Barbara simultaneously look up from their phones, toward each other, then back down. The others don’t even bother breaking their concentrations.

“You finished the entire series without me?” Bruce presses.

“Father,” Damian finally speaks up, sounding exasperated, “it is impossible to properly view things with you.”

Bruce squints at his youngest. “What does that mean?”

“It’s not just you, Bruce,” Stephanie says quickly, trying to smooth things over. “I can’t watch shows with my mom either.”

“Boomers just don’t know how to binge-watch,” Tim cuts with the final blow, not even looking up from his laptop.

Leaving the room in spite of protests, Bruce decides he is never going to watch the end of the show out of spite.

***

Cassandra has apparently made it a habit to not let others see her walk through doorways. As a result, she seemingly appears in rooms more than she enters them. Or, at the very least, she acts as though she just always has been and it is the other party who is intruding on her space.

As a result, it’s not altogether shocking when Duke looks up from his newly prepared plate and is met by his sister.

She is staring at his plate more than him.

“Oh, hey, Sis,” he offers her all the same. Then, instinctively, he shifts his shoulders to somewhat create a barrier between his plate and her. “What’s up?”

“Apple pie,” Cass announces as if it answers everything.

“Mmhmm,” Duke replies cautiously.

“Last piece?” she asks, her eyes gleaming.

“I’m sure Alfred will make another,” Duke says, then, slowly adding, “eventually.”

“Mine,” she snaps.

“No, you don’t even eat yours with vanilla ice cream!” Duke argues back, almost turning his back on her completely. “Just eat some of the cookies.”

“No!” Cass says, quickly shifting to be more aligned with the treat. “You eat them.”

“Cass, I got here first!” Duke snaps back, hooking afoot around the leg of the nearest chair. “Fair and square.”

“It was my pie,” Cass hisses. “I’ll take it back!”

“Is that a challenge?” Duke asks.

He sees her lunging and immediately kicks out the leg of the chair as he flips over it.

Cassandra is quick as ever and easily somersaults off of the falling chair to land over Duke’s shoulders. Her force is enough to send Duke’s body tumbling forward, but his body has proper instincts. He holds up the plate of pie above all else while using his free hand to find new ground, twirl his body out, and roll his head forward. Cass tumbles off his shoulders.

She hits the counters, but not before kicking off her shoe and sending it flying for Duke’s face.

He twists enough to lighten some of the impact, but the well-aimed shoe sends Duke into a tailspin.

The pie hits the floor with a sickening thud.

The siblings look crestfallen toward the prize, then each other.

Then they get angry.

By the time Barbara and Alfred burst onto the scene to break things up, the fight has utterly devolved and grown to the size of five Wayne heirs, three of which had no idea what the initial fight was even over.

Jason filmed it and sent it to everyone in his extended Zoom call list.

***

They are at each other’s throats. It turns out the Manor doesn’t have enough rooms.

Even Alfred’s treats are not enough to soothe the tensions anymore. Any little thing can set them off. So they spend the rest of the week finding solitary activities, barely communicating with words anymore.

Finally, some wounds begin to heal when Stephanie speaks to a room of others on their Switches.

“Hey, does anybody have an island with cherries?”

They play in harmony again, comparing villagers in hushed tones and sharing patterns for clothes.

Momentarily, there is hope that the peace will last forever, to the rhythm of island music and Blathers’ gibberish words.

It gives them twenty-seven hours of peace and nothing more.

***

“This absolutely will not work,” Barbara sputters as she pulls up to the table.

The others look at her with mild surprise, but they’re already seated. Jason is shuffling in preparation to deal. The arrangement from his left on is Stephanie, Cassandra, Barbara herself, Dick, Duke, Tim, and then Damian.

Damian is flanked by Jason and Tim. And only Barbara sees what the problem with this is.

“I am looking at a public safety hazard,” Barbara presses. “Dick, seriously, you’re going to let them do this?”

He thinks about it. “It’s a learning experience,” he determines.

“You dealing in or nah, Red?” Jason pushes.

She glares at them all, certain this is purposeful on at least some of their behalves, but she crosses her arms. “Okay, fine,” she says.

Jason deals out seven to everyone. Once he puts the deck in the middle, he turns over the first Uno card — green three — and with his free hand reaches in his jacket pocket for cigarettes. The others are already playing while Jason looks slightly miffed if not panicked when he can’t find the pack.

Under the table, Barbara can feel the shuffle of a pack of cigarettes being passed between other members of the table.

Shockingly enough, Jason doesn’t say anything verbally, but his eyes are already glaring at Damian as the pickpocket.

Stephanie puts down green nine.

Cassandra green Draw Two.

Barbara draws two.

Dick puts down a yellow Draw Two.

“No fair,” Duke chuckles.

Tim puts down a yellow Reverse.

Damian narrows his eyes. “You think you’re clever, don’t you, Drake?”

Duke yellow eight.

Yellow four.

Yellow two.

Blue two.

Blue three.

Blue Reverse.

Damian glares at Jason. “Is this planned?”

“How can they plan Uno, Dami?” Steph asks. Blue one.

Blue seven.

Barbara looks over her glasses at the table. She’s lost track of the cigarettes. “Don’t underestimate these people, Stephanie,” she warns as the ends up drawing five cards before finally laying down green seven.

Green nine.

Wild Card. “Let’s go with,” Duke looks through his hand cautiously, “Yellow again.”

There is a suspicious twitch to Tim’s lips as he puts down a Draw Four. “Let’s go back to red.”

Damian releases an explosion of expletives and leaps to stand on his chair.

“Ah, it was a mistake, my bad,” Dick says, rubbing a hand down his face.

***

Bruce is stone-faced at dinner, strangely fixated on his plate.

It’s not overly concerning, Bruce tends to be in quiet contemplation on most days regardless.

He finally looks up, though, and glares at them all.

“I finished it on my own,” he informs them.

They all stare back.

“Tiger King,” he clarifies. “They’re all guilty. But also. What the hell.”

Everyone collectively loses their minds again.

Alfred sighs and begins drafting a rotation for getting them all out of the manor more.

[northoftheroad]

The Wayne family

Sometimes, when I read Batman fanfiction, I wonder whether the writer has been reading the same comic books as I have. Because they paint a picture of a big, happy Wayne family where the kids are very close and sometimes the whole bunch even live together. 

Now, I do know the difference between canon and fanfic. And I get that wishful thinking and selective reading plays a big part. But still, I'm curious where these conceptions come from.

Just to be clear. I do think of Bruces adopted/foster children as a family because they have a common father(figure). But they have not grown up together. It depends on what DC continuity you're playing with, of course, but most of them are in their teens when Bruce Wayne comes into their lives and they can’t have lived more than a few years with him. Several of them have not lived together. So even if I let my imagination run amok, I can't see them living at the Manor together as a tight-knit family, and I don't think all of them know each other very well.

Batman and Robin vol 2 # 10. By Peter Tomasi, art Patrick Gleason and Mick Gray.

Dick Grayson had moved out (or been kicked out, depending on what version you go with) when Jason Todd came along (and Bruce suffered from empty nest syndrome). Jason was dead when Tim Drake came into the picture, and Tim lived with his parents or boarding school in the beginning. Even if Dick kept in pretty close contact with Tim, he had a permanent home elsewhere.

Batman: Gotham Knights # 45. By Scott Beatty, art Roger Robinson and John Floyd. 

I admit I haven't read a lot with Cassandra Cain. As far as I understand, after Flashpoint she has never lived in the Manor. Before Flashpoint, she was adopted, but I don’t believe she lived long in the Manor, and the only other Wayne adoptee she can have shared the home with is Tim. 

Edit: At least, Bruce probably did have time to adopt Cass, even though he promised to do it in Batman: Redemption Road (2008), just before the story arc Batman RIP where he, presumedly, died. They certainly did not live together as a family for long. 

Batgirl: Redemption Road # 6. By Adam Beechen, art Jim Calafiore and Jack Purcell.

I’m sure there are cute panels of Tim and Cass out there, but I’m picking some from comics I know of.

Batgirl # 50. By Dylan Horrocks, art Rick Leonardi and Jesse Delperdang.

Batman: Family # 7. By John Francis Moore, art Steve Lieber and Stefano Gaudiano.

Tim was an older teenager when Damian al Ghul/Wayne dropped into the house and immediately tried to get rid of Tim the hard way, and I don’t think they spent a long time under the same roof until Bruce "died", and soon after Tim left (at least partially). 

Batman # 657. By Grant Morrison, art Andy Kubert and Jesse Delperdang.

Dick moved in with Damian and raised him (for about a year). When Bruce first came back he travelled with Batman Inc, and Dick and Damian continued to live together. There were times when you could find Bruce, Dick, Tim, Damian and Alfred in the Manor at the same time, but not living permanently together. 

Batman & Robin vol 1 # 20. By Peter J. Tomasi, art Patrick Gleason and Mick Gray.

Now, Flashpoint, New 52 and Rebirth makes it even more impossible to puzzle together a credible timeline for everything Bruce Wayne is supposed to have done and everyone's relationship with each other. We’ll end up with Jason being Robin for about a month... But, anyway...

At the start of New 52, Dick has gone back to Nightwing and moved into his own flat in Gotham. He’ll continue to move around in different cities so he’s clearly not living with any other Wayne. By then, Cassandra is retconned out of the family and I haven’t seen any sign that Jason lives at the Manor with Bruce and Damian (and I don’t know about Tim either).

Fast forward into Rebirth, and Duke Thomas stayed and trained with Bruce for a while. If any of the other kids lived there at the same time is anybody's guess, but you can see the whole Bat-family (including, for instance, Stephanie Brown and Luke Fox) share a happy meal in the Manor, so at least they socialize from time to time. I’ve read somewhere that Duke since has moved in with relatives.

In canon right now, as far as I can make out, the only one who (at least sometimes and varying between the books) lives with Bruce and Alfred in the Manor is Damian. 

Another fanon exaggeration on the opposite part of the scale, in my opinion, is the penchant for portraying Dick and Jason's relationship as extremely bad from the start.

There are three different versions of how they met before Flashpoint. The first time, when Jason was a circus-boy Dick clone, Dick originally wanted to take him in, but Bruce stepped in instead (DC needed a new Robin for Batman, after all). The second time, Bruce had fired Dick from Robin because he was shot by the Joker and then promptly picked up Jason, after Dick had left. The third time (Nightwing Year One), Bruce fired Dick and kicked him out (I tend to ignore this version mostly, to be honest, because Bruce is ridiculously much of an ass here) and then, as you know, took in Jason.

And it's not that Dick loves Jason straight away, or the fact Bruce took in a new Robin by the blink of an eye, in the two later versions. But he still gives Jason his old Robin suit and his phone number in version two and in version three, they part on decent terms, and Dick tells Bruce (by recording) that he could have done worse.

After that, they hardly meet before Jason is killed because Dick is working with the Titans and doesn't live in Gotham. Pre-Crisis on Infinite Earths Jason helped the New Teen Titans a few issues (Dick was busy getting in the hands of Brother Blood and being brainwashed, at the time) in New Teen Titans vol 2 # 20–31. And there is a snapshot of Dick and Jason hanging out as civilians in Nightwing vol 2 issue 63. That's about it. 

Nightwing vol 2 # 63. By Chuck Dixon, art Trevor McCarthy and Karl Kesel. 

Then, of course, Jason came back from the dead slightly unhinged (2005). I don't know the whole picture of meetings or confrontations between the Bat-kids between Jason's comeback and Flashpoint (2011). I do know he dressed up as Nightwing and killed people in Nightwing vol 2 # 118–122. When Jason was abducted, Dick struggled a bit with the question "Is it ethical for me to save someone who's a danger to society?" before he went to save Jason. In the end, Jason sends a telegram where he says "Thanks for coming for me, brother. I know we don't agree on much. I just wanted to believe we could be family again." Tim and Dick also had a confrontation with Jason in Teen Titans (2003) # 47, and Dick and Jason had a not very amicable meeting in the Outsiders v 3 # 44.

Nightwing vol 2 # 118 –122. By Bruce Jones, art Joe Dodd, Paco Diaz, BIT and Nathan Massengill. 

And then we have Battle for the Cowl, where Jason shot Damian, left Tim for dead and tried to kill Dick after he had refused to become Robin to Jason's Batman. (I guess there are Jason fans out there who think that Dick was not justified to put Jason in jail after that. Obviously, I'm not one of them, but if anyone dislikes these years in canon and decides to ignore it to the best if their ability, who am I to judge?)

So, the Wayne boys definitely had a partly antagonistic, partly close, partly distant relationship. After Flashpoint, I think it has in been portrayed as better. At least, I haven't seen them try to kill each other...  Tim calls Damian "gremlin", Jason is Damian's secret mentor (or so I've seen somewhere), they sometimes meet on the rooftops and work together. On the other hand, the previously close relationship between Dick and Tim seems pretty much forgotten. (Let's hope they start remembering that soon again.)

Detective Comics # 975. By James Tynion IV, art Raul Fernandez and Alvaro Martinez.

Somewhere in Batman and Robin Eternal, Jason says that Tim is the only of the other Robins that he likes. (I honestly don't know where that came from, I never noticed them seeing eye to eye before. Still, it's not like I've read every Bat comic ever printed. But then, I rather believe the same goes for a number of DC writers... Edit: I’ve been informed that it’s probably from a flashback in an issue of Red Hood and the Outlaws.) In RH and the outlaws annual 1 (I think that’s the only issue of that series I’ve read, to be honest), Jason narrates that there was a time when he would have killed Dick on sight. "Not my proudest moment. We've made up since then." They have a complicated relationship, but they are still somehow clearly brothers, and Jason thinks back to when he saw the Flying Graysons perform and how Dick was a hero to him then (another retcon after Flashpoint).  As far as I know, it's the only post-Flashpoint retelling of how Jason and Dick met, and the story is that Alfred puts Jason in Dick's room so he wouldn't have to clean a new one. Dick is not happy to find someone in his bed when he comes home to visit. They fight. Honestly, I can't imagine Alfred doing that, so that's one version of the canon I’m happy to overlook...

On the other hand, we have Jason and Dick hanging out on the rooftops in Blüdhaven in Nightwing vol 4 # 15, and Dick, Jason and Damian certainly bicker like siblings (together with Duke) in Batman vol 3 # 16 and # 33.

Nightwing vol 4 # 15. By Tim Seeley, art Minkyu Jung. 

Batman vol 3 # 16. By Tom King, art David Finch. 

On the whole, I think the only thing you can be sure of about the relationships between the Wayne family members these days is that it varies quite a bit between titles and writers and has had its ups and downs over the years. But that they have never lived together as one big, happy family.

Of course, all this is based on the comic books I’ve read, and there might very well be stories out there that paint a different picture. But on the whole, I’m pretty confident that this panel is about as close to a happy family gathering we’ve seen. And then it’s not only the Waynes but the Bat family.

Batman and the Signal. By Scott Snyder and Tony Patrick, art Cully Hamner.

[bluboothalassophile]

I honestly don't understand DC always trying to undermine Raven's powers. I read the current comics that she's in and it is so poorly written and boring. They suck at character development and its so fucked up that she's always brushed aside. And also I'll never forgive them for killing Roy and they keep fucking up Jason. These guys went through a lot and I just wanna see them be happy and I want to see more batfamily moments and team ups like in Batman and Robin Eternal.

Hello,

Reasons I am mad about Canon Raven:

She’s ALWAYS depowered; always, and she is literally the very definition of an over powered character. 

When they attempt to over power her again they fuck it up; like in Titans with Raven’s ‘telepathy’; she’s a fucking empath! NEVER has she been a telepath!

She has never been utilized outside of the Titans; which is infuriating on many levels. Because she needs to go solo; with a big comic or go to JL Dark or hell, team her up with Lucifer! I don’t know, but something outside of the fucking Titans!

Her solo series, while hold much promise are always cut short, or tie into nothing about her canon life.

They just severed her connection with her aunt and cousins, further isolating her again.

I am royally pissed that her connection with Victor Stone, a.k.a. Cyborg, (which I think is canonly her BEST familiar relationship EVER, their dynamic is amazing; it’s also an amazing dynamic for Victor too! So why was it cut!?) has been severed, was briefly rekindled only to be discarded again.

She’s always de-aged; sorry @chromium7sky, but I really hate that because I really think she should be about Jason and Tim’s age, hell, I’d even settle her being Dick’s age, just enough de-aging her! At this rate; and I’m sorry @impulse-goblin, she’ll be a RobRae with Carrie Kelley or Matt McGinnis! Which is so not okay because DC is screwing her over royally.

Marv, her creator, can no longer write her well to be engaging; which is sad.

She’s been royally dumbed down; which really fucking pisses me off, because even though N52 SUCKED BALLS, Raven, while bitchy, was always eager to learn; it’s one of her defining traits! She’s super smart, she’s engaging, she’s empathetic and kind, and rebirth has made it so she struggles with school. -.- Explain that to me, please, she’s never been stupid or struggled learning before. And I get trying to connect with modern readers, and making characters relateable, but that was just plain fucking stupid. There are other characters you can do that with, using Raven does not help in anyway.

I will not get into my issues with N52, there’s many, but mainly: WTF is up with Raven’s Entire Personality!? I mean don’t get me wrong, I loved the design she had, and I loved her on Tim’s team, also their entire friendship was amazing, but WTF, what a Bitch. I wanted to smack her.

They either forget she is a magic user, or they forget she’s a demon with demon abilities or something, but it always seems like one or the other is missing with her.

Off side key irritation too: How come her father doesn’t play a larger part of the DC universe and getting heroes to fear him? I mean come on! Titans plays him up to be like Darksied or Lucifer level of terrifying, and the DC universe: Who’s Trigon? WTF is that about!? You want the Only Daughter Of Trigon to have meaning, to show her power, then why the fuck isn’t Trigon more widely known and feared!? Come On People! We have Darksied’s ENTIRE Family feared, but you want to play Trigon off as eviler than Darksied but the entire DC universe outside Titans is like: Who the Fuck is Trigon!?

Kay, Metal hinted at her connection and importance to the Multiverse, but the DC, I don’t know… Forgot? And somehow the entire reason for her being captured, isolated and singled out by the Batman Who Laughed was forgotten. Granted my favorite panel of her and Victor happened because of that, but seriously; MAJOR PLOT HOLE DC! Come on, we aren’t Marvel, cease these plot holes in your big labels! Be grown ups!

Mainstream Raven hurts my Raven loving heart. But her counterparts are pretty cool, like on Earth 1 or Bombshells or the recent Titans movies, definitely liked her in the Titans live action show, and obviously I loved her in the cartoon; not Titan’s Go as that has helped in destroy her and the Titans. 

Now, my issues with Heroes Crisis:

King. Fucking cock teasing bastard tormented us with BatCat for over a year, getting them to the fucking alter then he did that fucking stunt; hell yes I am pissed still, and I am no less angry going into Heroes Crisis.

Kay, now for real.

I have major issues with the plot, thus far, because there doesn’t seem to be one.

Killing Roy and Wally did nothing to further a plot, or even engage in the plot and has just furthered to hurting surrounding characters.

Killing Roy was fucked up and senseless; as a writer I find that appalling.

Killing Wally was unnecessary; especially after all the fucking trouble we had gone through to get that speedster back! I mean COME ON! It’s like you brought him back solely to kill him off, and if that’s the case, someone smack a brain into King’s fucking head.

While the premise of Heroes Crisis was engaging and interesting to read the idea for it, it has been a dismal affair.

Why the fuck are your only suspects Harley Quinn and Micheal Carter, a.k.a. Booster Gold? No seriously want to explain that!? 

There is NO WAY Harley would ever hurt or kill Ivy, just no, and DC I don’t care about trying to cater to people and convincing all of Harley and Ivy are straight, it just wouldn’t happen. Ivy and Harley are in love, and I sincerely doubt, that despite EVERYTHING Harley has done in her life, that she would ever kill the woman she loved.

Also, Micheal Carter has selflessly saved the timeline multiple times, and done so without recognition. Yes, he can be full of himself, but where the hell did King come to the conclusion that Carter was a sociopathic narcissist? Someone please explain the basics of human nature to King; PLEASE! For the love of God, someone! I expect this crap from Lobell!

Now to my fury with the Batfamily in it’s current state:

Rebirth presented us with fairly healthy dynamics between the Batfamily members; which was refreshing as all get out, but now… I’d like to rip DC’s heart out and shove it up their ass for what they’ve done.

First, they allowed King to be the ultimate cock tease! Bastard built up the fucking BatCat wedding to be the wedding of the goddamn century; going to make comic history! And he fucks us over like we’re a two cent whore whilst simultaneously destroying the Batfamily.

Second: who the fuck even ALLOWED Lobdell into DC again to write!? I mean really!? Did you asshole not learn your lesson the first time!?

Third, wtf is up with Ric Grayson; I get it, we’re all exceedingly immature for taking an actually socially acceptable nickname from the 1930′s and perverting it into penis jokes. But news flash, Dick’s character has evolved with taking that in stride and laughing it off. Changing his name only pisses us off and furthers our desires to make dick jokes. 

Fourth: What the fuck are you guys even doing allowing Lobdell near Jason? I get it Lobdell is some ‘big shot’ good ‘big name to have on a comic’ but his writing is shit, I’ve read better stories from Kindergartners. Lobdell is like the Russo brothers of DC, please remove him from our premise, and I petition for us, the fans, to take custody of Jason from Lobdell for the sake of global comic peace. The Dude Can Not For The Love Of God Write. I’m surprised he even knows how to arrange letters on a piece of paper to form words honestly.

Why aren’t Duke and Cass B’s kids? No seriously? Why!? We all know those are his favorite two kids, so wtf are they doing… anywhere else but with the Bats?

Why is Babs Batgirl? Don’t go with that female empowering crap answer, just don’t, she was a better icon as Oracle than as Batgirl. She’s long since outgrown the role, and she had grown beautifully into the role of Oracle, so run this by me again: Why did we take a beautiful survivor, who created empowerment for people with disabilities while remaining a strong female lead and turn her back into Batgirl? Seriously? Someone explain that to me!?

Thank God DC hasn’t fucked up Tim yet, but Can We Please Stop With Evil Batman Tim!? Tim doesn’t even want to be Batman! He Never Has Wanted To Be Batman!

WTF did you do with Damian’s character development? He is not this baby raging Bat anymore who seeks to kill everyone who crosses him. Also what the hell was up with the whole Dami’s got a secret prison thing? That lead to nothing and has since been dropped, but seriously people, who is the lead brain in DC right now allowing this shit!?

Again, I must ask, what’s up with evil Bat futures; have we NO HOPE that these boys can grow up and actually be decent people!? Really. I want to know. I don’t get the options you’ve given these heroes.

Why does B have a double standard when it comes to Kate and Jason; and don’t say it’s because Jason’s killed, Damian’s killed and B is trying to be a good dad to him, so what’s up with this shit!? Is it really so much easier to have the rift between B and Jay than attempt to amend it!? If B has a problem with Jason using guns then the same problem should be applied to Kate; I don’t care about her likability, she’s a bitch and the double standard should cease.

And why is Jason trying to connect with Willis Todd? Willis was an abuse fucker or did Lobdell for get his own canon material again? Someone please remove Lobdell from DC premises! PLEASE! Send him to Marvel or something, I don’t care, but stop allowing him to fuck over Jason because he wants to!

Now, again, I’m brought to the double standards B has and his own reckless behavior. DC please, either find a ethics and morals person to join your writing team, or grow a fucking brain because you are precariously close to having Batman become the killer and the villain.

Why are we isolating the Bats again, when they were so connected at the start of Rebirth? I want to read about the Batfamily BEING A Family! Not this divide and pit against each other crap. 

The worst part of all this is, Rebirth actually started off great! Now it’s a flaming pile of wreckage and I almost wish we’d go back to N52 if only to stop watching the same trainwreck over and over happen.

[iamchrissi]

A blast from the past

For the Batfam Week 2018, prompt: Time travel

Steph meets Robin!Dick

Also on Ao3

Steph's not sure how it happens. One second, she is trying on her old Spoiler costume, just to see if it still fits, the next she's one a rooftop in Gotham, at night. She's pretty sure it was just morning just a second ago.

She's also pretty sure something is wrong pretty much immediately, because she's staring at an apartment tower she's never seen before. And she knows Gotham by night. She's not Batgirl for nothing.

But before she can think of anything else, three thugs attack her from nowhere. She must have landed right in the middle of them, for some reason, but there's no time to ponder that.

The first one goes after her with a tire iron. She ducks and knees him in the groin, before turning and punching the second goon in the solar plexus. As he staggers away, she kicks the third in the knee and finishes with a nice blow to the head.

By that time, the first goon has somewhat caught his breath, but he's slow, so Steph just kicks him in the head and then uses her elbow to knock out number two.

It didn't even take a minute, and Steph has to say she's kind of proud of herself. Nice take down, no trouble. Always a good feeling.

Carefully, she tries to take stock of the situation. She's definitively in Gotham, she can see the Wayne Tower and several other landmarks that she works on and around every single night. There are a few buildings she doesn't know, though, and a few missing.

Weird training situation? Possible, and wouldn't be the first time, honestly. But Batman promised her that he'd warn her of them after the last time. Not that that means this can't be a simulation, because Batman is an asshole sometimes, but she likes to think her rant made enough of an impact that she has at least a few weeks more reprieve from being kidnapped to do stupid training parcours for him.

And really, unless there is something huge she missed, the training simulation should have ended when she put the last goon to the ground. No point letting her stay in a simulation when the training situation is over.

Dream? Always a possibility, but her dreams aren't usually this vivid. And really, if this is a dream, and she's not waking up, she might as well explore.

Alternate reality? Way weirder, and less probably, but well, she's running around with the bats. Stranger things have happened.

Problem is that none of that is helpful. There doesn't seem to be a direct way of just going back home and having that ice cream she promised herself, so she decides to play along.

At least she's wearing the good Spoiler suit, the one that has Bruce's approval and is protective, warm and comes with an utility belt full of useful things.

“Are you going to do anything?” A high voice suddenly asks from behind her. Steph curses and turns, only to find... Robin?

The colorful dress is unmistakable, nobody else wears that kind of bright monstrosity. But that is not Damian. Damian's voice is not that high, and Damian would never go out in a Robin costume without the Hood. He also wouldn't look this genuily friendly.

“Don't know.” Steph finally says, cursing her slow mind. The kid is obviously not really satisfied with that answer. “What am I supposed to do?” She asks.

“I don't know. You're look kind of as though you are a super villain, and there's unconscious men there, but you aren't doing anything. That's weird. You also don't try to attack me or anything, which is nice, but still weird. And those men look like Riddler's goons, but I don't know of any other vigilantes in the city. Who are you?” The kid says, and then he smiles, and...

Dick. That's Dick. As a kid. Back when he was Robin. Some fifteen years ago. Steph swallows some truly impressive curses and really looks at the kid. No doubt about it. That is Richard Grayson, approximately 10 years old, wearing the original Robin costume.

God, she hopes this is a dream. Or a simulation. She doesn't know if she can deal with actually having time travelled.

“Hey, you okay?” Kid-Dick asks, sounding kind of concerned, but not in the big brother way she's used to. Which makes sense, Steph supposes. This Dick isn't a big brother yet. This Dick is a little boy himself.

“A bit confused. I don't exactly know how I ended up here.” Steph finally says. The Dick she knows is scary good at telling when she's lying, and she's not sure about this tiny version of him, but she's not risking it.

“How can you not know how you ended up here? Where you like, kidnapped or something?” Kid-Dick asks, and … well, it's not the worst theory.

“Don't know. Possibly.” Steph says, and then she has to stop herself from cooing when Kid-Dick puts on an adorable thinking face. She kind of wants to pinch his cheeks, it's that cute.

She restrains herself, of course. Fellow Robin empathy and all that. But still.

“I could take you to Batman, if you want. He's an awesome detective, he'll be able to figure out something.” He says, finally, and Steph almost grimaces. Yes, Bruce can probably figure something out. But she does not fancy explaining her situation to Bruce in any circumstances, and especially not when he doesn't even know who she is. On the other hand, it's not like she's got a better idea.

“Sure.” She tells Kid-Dick, and watches as his shoulders sag in … relief? Why should he be relieved that she'd accepted to go to Batman? The Dick she knows prefers to solve his problems without involving the big guy.

“Batman is like, really strong, you know. And intelligent. Like amazingly intelligent. And strong.” The kid tells her, moving to stand next to her and suddenly, looking down on this tiny kid that will someday be taller than her, something clicks in her mind. This is not Adult-Dick, who is a cop and a big brother and who can take care of himself. This is a ten year old kid. And Steph is almost twice his age. If Steph were not a friendly, Kid-Dick would probably not be able to stop her from attacking him.

Of course he wants Batman. Steph remembers being Robin, and the feeling of unconditional safety Batman could give her. Why would it have been different for Dick?

She'd always known that Dick had been a Robin, the first Robin, but... somehow, she'd never thought that thought to it's logical conclusion. Dick is always the grown one to her, the adult who can handle his own shit without Batman's intervention, the only one of them to truly not need Batman. Somehow, she hadn't realized that that hadn't always been the case.

“I believe it.” She tells the kid, trying to make herself somewhat smaller. She doesn't want to scare tiny Dick. But it's so weird.

“You don't have to be afraid of him.” Kid-Dick tells her, moving closer as if to tell her a secret. “He looks super scary, but he's really nice.”

Steph almost snorts. Yeah. Batman. Nice. But maybe he used to be. Before Jason's death. Or maybe that's just for Dick, the tiny version.

Before she can say anything, a swirly... portal? appears before them. At this point Steph is kind of ready to sit down and stop moving until the universe stops throwing shit like this at her, but Robin seems intrigued, and as his momentary elder, it's probably her duty to stop him from getting sucked into that thing. Or attacked by whoever might come out.

She steps in front of him, ignoring his indignant “Hey!”.

Then Tim steps out of the portal, because of course he does. He looks like he hasn't slept in days, which, knowing him, he probably hasn't, but he also looks happy to see her, so there's that.

“There you are! We were worried.” He says, apparently not seeing Kid-Dick.

“Who's we, and where am I?” Steph asks, very much aware of the tiny, curious, 10 year old version of Dick currently standing behind her.

“Everyone who's in town, so everyone except B, Cass and Babs, and you are exactly 15 years and three months in the past. Wow does Gotham look different.” Tim's says, and then he notices Dick, and his eyes go wide.

“We should go.” Steph decides, before Tim gets any ideas. Or they change the past in any way more than she might already have. She turns to Kid-Dick.

“Looks like my ride is here. Take care, kid.” And then, because she can't stop herself, she runs her hand over his hair. Then she takes Tim's hand and drags him through the portal.

On the other side, Dick, Jason, Duke, Damian and Alfred are waiting. They do indeed look worried. There's some kind of … apparatus standing there, which apparently they came through, but Steph is so not looking at that. She looks at Dick.

“You were a cute ten year old, you know that?”

[crazyfreckledginger]

Meeting At A Gala

This beautiful fanart

This fic includes Bruce Wayne (Batman), Alfred, Dick Grayson (Nightwing), Jason Todd (Red Hood), Tim Drake (Red Robin) and Damian Wayne (Robin).

——————————————————-

Your PoV

Gotham was not the most beautiful city I have been to. Not to mention the crime rate here. However, helping out The Dark Knight once in a while was comforting in a way. How did I meet him would you ask? Well, I saved his life a few times, yes believe it or not, and blurting out that I know his real identity, giving proof of my theory etc…

My thoughts were interrupted by little amounts of cold liquid falling from the sky. Looking up, I saw more and more raindrops falling from up above, falling on the streets and cars i was walking by. Shit I don’t have my umbrella, I thought. I paced faster, towards my apartment. Taking out the key before arriving at the front door, making sure not to slip, I bumped into a man. “Wach where ya goin’!” He howled before walking away. Wow that was rude, I thought, still looking at the figure disappearing into an alley. Unlocking the door, I made my way upstairs. After arriving at my apartment, I took a quick shower and put on some comfy clothes. I started walking towards the kitchen when a sound of metal hitting metal spread in the hallway. Looking towards the front door, I saw a few letters lying on the floor. Picking them up, I started opening them. Sighing while skimming through my electricity bills and my rent, I stopped at a fancier looking envelop. My name was inscribed on the front in cursive. Gently opening it, it looked somewhat like an invitation.

Bruce Wayne has the pleasure of inviting you to the official 2017 Wayne Gala. Each member present will increase the amount of money funded for charaties, most noticeably Gotham’s orphanage.    

This gala will include an all-you-can-eat buffet, champagne and much more.

P.s. Come in a fancy dress not your vigilante suit ;)   was written in a scrappier handwriting.

Batsy getting all fancy for a party, I thought smirking.

—————Time skip to a couple days later—————

Tonight was the night of the famous Gala and I decided to put on a fancy yet not too complicated red dress.  

I’m ready, how do I get there again? I sent by message to Bruce.

Alfred is coming to pick you up! he replied.

Since when do you know where I live? I asked, making sure to add a smiley face.

I needed to make sure you came home safely, wouldn’t want a teenage vigilante getting hurt do I? He asked adding a smirking smiley face.

Wow I never knew you would be so sarcastic! I texted.

Well I do have sarcastic sons, some more so than others, but I have picked up a few things along the way. You will be meeting them by the way! He wrote.

I suddenly became nervous What if they don’t like me? I thought. My train of thought was interrupted by a black limousine parking in front of my apartment.

Gotta go, my ride’s here! I quickly sent Bruce

Making sure that I had locked my apartment and taken my purse, I hurried downstairs.

“Hello Miss (Y/N)!” A elderly man with a British accent greeted.

“Hello Sir!” I greeted back.

“Oh please call me Alfred” He said warmly.

——-  Time skip to arriving at Wayne Manor——

It’s beautiful I whispered to myself, awestruck, upon entering the front gate.

Alfred kindly escorted me towards the large staircase to the immense mansion in front of me. I was welcomed by Bruce Wayne himself.

“Hello kid!” He smirked.

“Ok so first of all hello to you too, second of all do not call me that! How many times do I have to tell you, are you losing your mind old man?” I asked smirking back.

He laughed lightly at me and brought me inside. He guided me through numerous corridors made of marble towards a colossal ball room “Woah” I whispered. “So the drinks are in the far corner, the food on the opposite side and the bathroom in the room behind seating area” He directed me.

“There is so much food” I squealed excitedly.

“I know, hence why you are here, I know how much you love food”, he said cockly.

“Ooouh I’d say that hurt, but it didn’t!”  

Laughing, “Well I better get to welcome my business associates and other important guests!” he said, walking away, leaving me alone. I decided to wonder around a bit.

Jason PoV

“Ugh all of these people are so fake!” Tim moaned from across the table

“Shhhh! Don’t say it so loudly, people will here you!!” Dick shushed him.

“I hate to say this but Drake is right” Damian stated

“I’m bored” I pouted playing with the butterknife that was neatly placed on the table. Looking back up towards the crowd, “and there isn’t any decent looking wo–” I stopped when my gaze locked onto a young women in a red dress. My brothers looked back at me when I didn’t finish my sentence, then followed my gaze to the same young women.

“Woah” Tim and Dick said at the same time.

Snapping everyone out of their thoughts, I chirped up “I call dibs!!!” Before standing up and pacing to the women, my brothers quickly following behind me.

Your PoV

Looking at the men and women dancing in the ballroom made me feel sad and insecure. I finally decided to go get a drink.

“Would you care for a dance?” a voice spoke up.

Slowly turning around, a tall yet not too muscular man in a nice balck tuxedo and red tie was smiling at me. He had black hair and a white streak. Wow he’s handsome, I thought smiling. “Sure” I answered enthusiastically. Proposing his hand to me, I gladly took it whilst he guided me to the dancing area. Putting his spare hand around my waist and mine on his shoulder, we started dancing in sync. After a few minutes of dancing and looking deeply into each of our eyes.

“I’ve never seen you around here! Have you recently started working with Bruce Wayne?” he asked.

“Oh um no I don’t work for him, I’m a bit of a private detective and I’ve made a few investigations about him. It happened to be a misunderstanding. Nothing too serious and since then we have been friends.” I lied, suprising myself of how convincing I sounded.  

He hummed in response. Putting his forehead to mine, he mumbled “I never got your name!” He said looking straight into my eyes, the closeness making me blush.

(A/N: If y'all thinking I’m taking Paul Wesley as a Jason Todd then you’re wrong, wow that sounded violent, I’m sorry. It’s just the gif that shows what I am describing.)

“It’s (Y/N)” I smiled looking at the ground.

“And are you single?” he asked, hopeful.

“Are you trying to seduce me?” I asked shyly.

“Depends, is it working?” he answered looking for an answer in my eyes.

“I barely even know you and you’re already making a move on me?” I questioned.

“Well I can’t think logically when the most beautiful girl I have ever set my eyes upon is right in front of me!” He smirked.

Taking in a breath, I blushed a deep red and I looked at the ground with a shy smile.

3rd Person PoV

Jason examined (Y/N)’s actions Damn that’s cute!, he thought smiling back at her.

Back at the table, Dick, Tim and Damian observed the whole scene unfold before them.

“I can’t believe Todd got the girl before any of us, well except for Drake.” Damian argued.

Tim glared at his younger brother and retorted “Doesn’t suprise me you didn’t get her!”

Dick interrupted the raising fight by standing up.

“He’s leaning into her!!” He warned before racing towards them.

Your PoV

The man in front of me started leaning into me. What are you doing!! You don’t even know this guy’s name!!, I scolded myself. I suddenly put a finger to his lips to stop him from kissing me, making his eyes shoot open. Suddenly he was pulled away from me and I was met with a shorter black haired man with a blue tie. He had a similar body structure.

“Hi!!” He said with a goofy smile. “I’m Richard, or Dick for short (A/N: Short eyy!?).

”(Y/N)“ I whispered.

“Sorry about the quick change, that was my brother, he’s always looking for one night stands and stuff” he lied, looking everywhere but me.

“Riiiight” I agreed, unconvinced.

“So a dance?” He squeaked out.

3rd Person PoV

Jason joined the table pouting like a little baby whilst staring at (Y/N) and Dick.

“You look more like a kid than you usually do Todd!” Damian pointed out.

“Why would Dick do this to me!! I had the girl!” He criticised.

“Dick obviously wants the girl to himself” Tim stated.

“No shit!” Jason said sarcastically.

“Anyway he isn’t going to get her!” Damian informed.

Both brothers looked towads the youngest curiously.

“Obviously I’m the best suited to be with her. Being the blood son of Bruce Wayne and the best Robin” he said, whispering the last part.

“Riiight, whatever helps you sleep at night Demon” Jason mumbled whilst Tim rolled his eyes.

Your PoV

After half an hour of dancing and having a nice conversation chatting with Dick, I politely asked to leave, which he accepted.

Sipping some champagne from my glass. Truth be told I bribed Bruce into letting me drink, at least no one knows I’m underage.

“Aren’t you underage?” A younger man, if not boy asked, also with a glass of champagne, as if he read my thoughts.

“Kinda ironic coming from you don’t you think? You don’t exactly look 21 either.” I smirked.

“Touché!” He acted while raising his hands in the air. “A secret for a secret?” he asked.

“Sure!” I chuckled.

“Sooo, do you have a name?”

“(Y/N).” I said for the third time tonight.

“Tim!” He said enthusiastically.

A younger boy pulled up a chair next to me. I looked at him suspiciously.

“I’m Damian Wayne! I excuse the behavior of my brothers, they have always pursued women, except for Drake over here, no one would go out with him, which doesn’t surprise me. So don’t bother with him!” He informed.

“Oh no, you are all brothers?” I facepalmed.

“Yeah!” Tim said.

“God, I didn’t expect Bruce to introduce his sons this way!”

“You know Bruce? Personally?” Tim asked.

“Well not very personally, I work a night shift!” I said.

“Oooh! But-”

“She knows about us!” A familiar voice interrupted abruptly. Turning around I saw Bruce and the two men I danced with.

Dick and his brother sat at the same table as we did whilst Bruce explained who I was.

“So you lied to me?” The red tied man asked, acting hurt.

“Well, I didn’t know who you were did I? And I still don’t know your name except for Dick’s brother!” I teased.

“Todd, Jason Todd” He smirked, sounding like 007.

“No offense but you’re not cool enough to be a James Bond!” I teased again.

He gasped exaggeratedly.

“Wow (Y/N) I didn’t think you could get even sassier than you already are!” Bruce sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Get over it!” I mouthed. He chuckled before strolling away.

“So you’re going to work with us?” Tim asked.

“Maybe, well I don’t really do teams, maybe a partner but not much more than that! I’m willing to help out once in a while though!” I explained.

“Can I be your partner?” All four boys said simultaneously, then glared at each other.

I laughed, flattered by their interest.

“You can take turns?!” I suggested.

“Yes!!” They agreed.

Looking at my watch, wide-eyed, I said, “Yikes it’s getting late for me, I need to go, see you guys around!” I marched away.

“Wait!! I didn’t get your number!!” Jason yelled. Dick looked at him smirking as if to say why would she give it to you? “Well, how are we going to contact her?” He stated like the rest of his brothers were complete idiots. Soon enough, the three brother’s eyes widened and started running in the direction I was in, only to discover that I was gone.  

—–-———————————————-

A/N: First one shot up!! Let me know what you think about it!!

Tagging: @lumifuer

[dcubang]

Second Claims Now Open!

Hello! Second claims are now open and artists are free to claim as many stories as they are reasonably sure they can finish!

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1 Title: Green (may be renamed) Word Count: 9961 Genre: Fandom/Universe: Batman - All Media Types Characters/Pairings: Damian Wayne, Tim Drake, Jason Todd - Tim Drake/Jason Todd/Damian Wayne, Tim Drake/Damian Wayne, Tim Drake/Jason Todd, Jason Todd/Damian Wayne, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent (background), Jonathan Kent/Damian Wayne (background) Warnings: Dubcon, non-consensual drug use Rating: Explicit Summary: Jason and Tim agree to coach Damian through trying weed for the first time. All is going well, until they realise they’ve been dealt Ivy-brand weed and inadvertently been dosed with sex pollen. Obviously, a threesome ensues.

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4 Title: The Ghosts of Robins Past Word Count: 9,399 Genre: Action, casefic, drama, canon divergence Fandom/Universe: Batman Characters/Pairings: Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake, Alfred Pennyworth, Jack Drake, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd. Jason Todd/Dick Grayson Warnings: Kidnapping, mentions of torture Rating: PG-13 Summary: Bruce never planned or wanted to take on a third Robin. Dick seemingly vanished off the face of the earth at fourteen and Jason was murdered at fifteen. Thirteen-year-old Tim Drake came into his life while he grieved for Jason, insisting Bruce needed a Robin to keep him balanced. Against his better judgment, he accepted and began training Tim. Now, at fourteen, Tim’s more than earned the mantle of Robin and his place at Bruce’s side. But did Bruce make a terrible mistake in accepting him? If something should happen to Tim, could he handle another loss? Bruce hopes he won’t have to answer that question. Soon he has a new case on his hands. People are being killed with gold tipped knives with owl symbols on their hilts. Bruce believes the killer is mimicking the Court of Owls to scare Gothamites while Tim believes a Talon is responsible. Dismissing the claim, Bruce continues to fight Gotham’s crime while doing his best to keep Tim safe. Even the best intentions fail. After a wrist injury prompts Bruce to send Tim home early, Bruce is horrified to receive a call from Jack the next morning saying Tim is missing. Try as they might neither man can find Tim. And Tim at last discovers what happens to the long lost Dick Grayson: he was abducted by the Court of Owls and trained to be a Talon along with the resurrected Jason Todd. Now, they have their eyes set on him.

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8 Title: we could put some roots down Word Count: 14378 Genre: Fluff, Romance, Drama Fandom/Universe: DCU (pre-New-52), Nightwing, Deathstroke Characters/Pairings: Slade Wilson/Dick Grayson, Batam Warnings: family drama, Bruce Wayne’s A+ Parenting, mention of Catalina Flores Rating: PG-13/Teen Summary: A set of multiple vignettes that center on Dick and Slade as they interact with the other members of the Batfam as Tim and Bruce come home to act as a catalyst of change. Dick grapples with what Bruce’s return means for his time as Batman while Jason teases that his relationship with Slade might be moving to the next stage. Dick and Tim finally get closure and the ability to clear the air between them while engaging in a bit of brotherly bonding and teasing. As always, Alfred holds all the answers. The story takes place mainly on the grounds of Wayne Manor, in the Bat Cave, or inside the Manor itself. The timeframe of the story takes place over the course of a few weeks to a month.

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9 Title: Scarlet Tears Word Count: 12,857 Genre: Action/Adventure Fandom/Universe: The Flash Characters/Pairings: Barry Allen/Leonard Snart Warnings: mpreg Rating: Explicit Summary: Leonard Snart decided to take a break from the Legends, with Mick in tow. They head back to Central City, only to find Team Flash in a bit of trouble…well not the team just Barry. A young Meta causes trouble with her power exactly what is her deal?

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11 Title: When You Move, I Move Word Count: 9150 Genre: Fantasy, Action/Adventure Fandom/Universe: Batman, Nightwing, Red Hood and the Outlaws Characters/Pairings: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Dick Grayson/Catalina Flores, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne Warnings: Non-Con/Dub-Con (non-graphic) Rating: R Summary: Despite having been in love with one another since they were children, Crown Prince Richard and Dragon Slayer Jason are faced with the fact that they are bound by duty and law to never marry. King Bruce manages to come up with a plan that would allow the pair to remain close and for Richard to fulfill his duty as the future king. He proposes a marriage of convenience to a woman, Catalina of House Flores, who is on the brink of permanent maidenhood after having been passed over by too many men in the past. And though she was aware that the future king would never love her, Catalina grows bitter and jealous over the love between the two men and the love her and Richard’s son shares with that man. So she calls upon the help of a crone to curse both men to live this life and all future lives close to one another but never allowing them to be together. And though the crone grants the curse she places a contingency: if one of them were to die before their 18th birthday then the curse would be lifted and they would be reunited to share the love they have been denied. When Dick and Jason come into contact with the god Fate in their current life, the pair are made aware of what had been stolen from them decades in the past and shown that because of Jason’s untimely death at the age of 15, the curse has been lifted. And Jason is finally given the answer as to why he was awoken in his grave all those years prior. With the truth laid out before them, the pair must figure out what it means for them in this lifetime and all future ones.

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15 Title: (Better Things to do than) Chasing White Rabbits Word Count: 4k of what will likely be 6k Genre: Romcom and action/adventure Fandom/Universe: DC, Pacific Rim Characters/Pairings: Slade Wilson/Dick Grayson Warnings: violence, swearing, slurs (Gipsy Danger is the canon name of a jaeger), overprotective parent Bruce Wayne, sexual innuendo, secret identities, Slade's canonical bad parenting (but at least he's trying to work on that), accidental relationship, family drama, frenemies to lovers Rating: Explicit just in case, though I don't think sex will happen until the next installment in the series Summary: Rumor has it that Dick Grayson can drift with anyone. Slade Wilson has the opposite problem, and kids. Killing kaiju may be easier than parenting, and that's with Grayson playing mediator when he inevitably messes up. Dick, meanwhile, is tired of Bruce overstepping boundaries, and Slade just offered him a chance to help a villain redeem himself while also rubbing B's nose in the fact that clinging so tightly is more likely to drive all his kids away than make anyone want to stay. Even Nightwing has a rep for cheerful spite. Stacker Pentecost is too tired for this; he's got a daughter pushing to join the program, said program to run, and the Becket brothers are enough of a headache. That said, if an internationally wanted mercenary is truly willing to join the program, he'll welcome Deathstroke. He just doesn't want to lose Grayson in the process, or the Wayne family funding for the program. Jason, meanwhile, wins Best Brother accolades, and not just for donning Nightwing while Dick pilots giant robots.

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18 Title: Coffee Shop Love Word Count: 7,494 Genre: Fluff, Romance, Crossover, Alternate Canon Fandom/Universe: DC Comics/MCU Characters/Pairings: Dick Grayson/Tim Drake/James "Bucky" Barnes, Owens/Pru/Z, Conner, Cassie, Bruce/Diana, Bart, Cassie/Cass, Jason/Roy/Kory Warnings: None Rating: PG-13 Summary: Five years ago, Tim Drake saved Bruce and walked away from his so-called family and with Owens, Z, Pru and Bucky Barnes the Winter Solider and started up a small coffee shop with only Conner, Cass, Bart, Cassie and Alfred knowing where he is. Tim was happy until the day the Bats and the Avengers found him. Dick has never forgiven himself for driving away Tim, he longs to make things right with him, even if they never become anything but brothers but those plans are derailed when it comes clear to him that James "Bucky" Barnes has more than friendly feelings for Tim. Soon it becomes Dick vs. Bucky for Tim's heart. Tim just wishes that they would have asked him first.

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23 Title: With Blood and Rage of Crimson Red Word Count: 6,968 Genre: Angst, Action/Adventure Fandom/Universe: DCU, Batfam, Lantern Corps Characters/Pairings: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Hal Jordan, Guy Gardener, John Stewart, Bleez, Rankorr, no pairings (however, I might include hints of Batlantern (HalxBruce) later) Warnings: Canon-Typical Violence, mentions of past underage attempted rape, mentions of past drug use, mentions of past child abuse Rating: PG-13 Summary: Jason was only 11 when his life was irreversibly changed. Now the newest member of the Red Lantern Corps, he is immediately thrust into a dangerous game where losing could mean death. With practically half the villains in the universe after him and the rest of the Lantern Corps, Jason must watch his step at every corner. To overcome this threat and find a way to save himself and the people he cares for, Jason must first overcome his own inner demons and learn to trust himself and the people around him. This story is set on multiple planets throughout the DC Universe. On Earth, we see Gotham City, the Batcave, and the Watchtower, in space, they travel to Ysmault and other planets that I made up for the purpose fo the fic (so you will have mostly free reign with the design of those planets if you choose to draw scenes involving them). This story involves canon-typical violence throughout. At the start, there are mentions of child abuse, and there is camera footage shown of attempted rape of a minor, but nothing explicit. At the start of the story, Catherine Todd is found by Jason post-OD and that is mentioned a few times throughout the story. The abuse and attempted rape are mentioned a little throughout the story, but not much, as it is not the focus, rather a back story for Jason. Other than that, there is no smut, or even pairings (unless I decide to do the Batlantern, but that will be a minor background pairing). There might be some language, but it is kept to a minimum.

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26 Title: Hearts Beating Side by Side Word Count: 3,600 Genre: Romance, Drama Fandom/Universe: Young Justice Verse Characters/Pairings: Garth - Tempest/Kaldur'ahm/Dick Grayson Warnings: Threesome, misunderstanding, pining, dirty talk Rating: Summary: On the precipice of changes in their lives, Garth and Kaldur find a momentary reunion and the repressed childhood love that they have both harbored for the other is reignited. But the weekend won't be an easy fall into long awaited love. Nightwing has reappeared after months of silence in the guise of his civilian persona, Dickie Wayne-Grayson. And even though he's playing the part of full-time playboy, Garth can see the spark that Dick lights within Kaldur. And it's not a one-sided feeling. A weekend of diplomacy is consumed by Garth and Dick's competing jealousy; each believing Kaldur has eyes for the other. Garth thinks Dick is leading Kaldur on, and Dick thinks Garth has won Kaldur's heart before the weekend even began. They bicker, and banter, until they Bang It Out. When Kaldur catches them, there's guilt, and confessions and polyamorous negotiations.

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30 Title: There Be Dragons Word Count: 6425 words Genre: Urban Fantasy, Dragons Fandom/Universe: Batman Characters/Pairings: JayDick Warnings: Descriptions of burning buildings, violence, some gore Rating: M Summary: In Gotham, there be dragons. A pureblood dragon, Bruce revolved his vigilante persona around his ancestry, to become, Dragonman. Dick’s dragonhood was a direct result of Bruce’s ingenious DNA bonding–a gift he now refuses to use. For a moment in his life, however, he tolerated it, for Jason. Then Jason died. For six months, as far as Dick and Bludhaven was concerned, there were no goddamn dragons. Then one night, fire licked the sky. No matter how fast Dick ran, swung and flew, it was too damn late. A casino was razed to the ground. Human bodies stacked in piles. The shadow of a red dragon’s wings flapped in a distance. There was no question, however impossible, who did it. Dick couldn’t believe it. Dick wouldn’t believe it. This dragon flew around in Dick’s city on a raging warpath, knowing more than he was letting on. Dick intended to find it, and stop it.

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31 Title: When the Winds are Howling Strong Word Count: 3040 Genre: Found family, omegaverse, no capes AU Fandom/Universe: Batfam, Red Hood and the Outlaws Characters/Pairings: Jason Todd, Dick Grayson Warnings: Implied non graphic rape, intersex omegas, severe misogyny against omegas. Dick is a cop but he’s on leave through 90% of the fic Rating: PG-13/Teen. Nothing is graphic, but the topics are heavy Summary: Dick signed up to be a foster alpha, but never expected that he would actually be given an omega. Then Gorden’s men find an gang’s omega in heat and in bad shape. Since most foster alphas are searching for a mate, Dick is given custody over the omega. Jason was pulled off the streets by Joker’s gang when he was fifteen and life’s only gotten worse from there. As a gang omega, Jason served mostly as a form of recreation for the other gang members. After four years in hell, Jason’s given up all hope of escape. He’s got a new alpha who seems decent, but past experience has taught him those are the worst ones. Found family is the core of this fic. Dick helps Jason with his reintroduction into society/introduction to Gotham’s high society and both are forced to confront their internalized prejudices against other castes. It’s set in Gotham and explores both the slums and the glitzier districts. Jason and other male omegas will be depicted as wearing more feminine styles, including dresses and skirts. Key scenes: Dick taking custody of Jason, Dick and Jason growing used to each other, Tim and Damian meeting Jason by accident, Jason dumping out all of Dick’s liquor cabinet, Dick taking Jason shopping, Jason meeting Bruce and Alfred, Dick takes Jason to a gala and they work through a meltdown, Jason shows Dick where he used to live before Penguin and Joker, Dick and Jason fight after finding out everything Jason did in the gangs, Sheila makes an appearance, Jason is induced into an artificial heat, Dick and Bruce find Jason who is already making progress to rescue himself, End by Jason cutting the ribbon to an omega shelter.

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34 Title: Bruce Wayne, the Court of… Word Count: 4035 Genre: AU, humor, fluff, angst Fandom/Universe: Batman comics, Nightwing comics, Red Hood and the Outlaws comics, Batman: Under the Red Hood Characters/Pairings: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne Warnings: rape, death, beating, abuse, violence, spoilers for: Forever Evil arc, Court of Owls arc, recent Nightwing comic arc, recent Batman comic arc, Red Hood and the Outlaws #25, Batman and Red Hood #20 Rating: T/Teen And Up Audiences /PG14+ Summary: Bruce had made many mistakes in his life. The most horrifying and disastrous were the ones involving his family. The way he treated them, deceived, hurt and used finally blew in his face and he had to face the consequences. There was no forgiveness for him now, not from any of them. But maybe there was a way to avoid it all. This story is meant as a fix-it to all the mess the canon turned into. While the story focuses on talking about canonical events there are a lot of headcanon/fanon/tropes put into it as well ie. romantic relationship between adopted brothers. And although the topics discussed are serious matters the fic itself is slightly crackish. The story takes place in Gotham during the Batman: Under the Red Hood events. At first the action is placed all over the city: rooftops, docks, parking lot, train station; for it to narrow down to an abandoned hotel room.

[unavenged-robin]

Hi. Nightwing 15 really made me hope for Jason and Dick bonding fic from a writer as excellent as you!

Awn, thank you so much anon! Both for the compliment and the prompt, I had a lot of fun writing this, and I hope you like it ♥ Also I’m not really up to speed with Rebirth, so this is conveniently set somewhere between n52 and the new Nightwing.

Read it on AO3

This is a mess. A fucking mess.

The smoke is so thick around him he can barely see anything, and all there’s to see is fire and rubble anyway. He looks up, but the ceiling is gone, and above him there’s only Gotham’s dark sky, lacking stars and poetry just as every other night. How typical.

Jason’s not in a better shape than the collapsed building himself. He’s hurt in so many places he can’t actually localize the pain anymore, he’s half blinded and his ears are still ringing, even with his helmet still intact (or at least he hopes it’s still intact).

And there’s just. so. much. blood.

“So, on a scale from I just need Alfred to stitch it up to I’m gonna reuse the empty coffin in the Manor’s backyard just how bad it is, little Wing?”

Dick’s voice sounds muffled and distorted, but at least it’s there, and Jason wants to laugh but he physically can’t. The little air his lungs still manage to keep inside of him is barely enough to let him breathe, so no, laughing is out of question. Speaking should be too, probably, but if Jason Todd was a man who could keep his mouth shut… well, then that man definitely wouldn’t be Jason Todd.

“Jay?”, Dick calls him again, fake amusement now completely gone from his voice.

Jason coughs, waits for the pain in his chest to quiet a bit, then takes a deep breath. Or, at least, a breath as deep as he can manage with at least three broken ribs and a stab wound to his abdomen - and that’s just a preliminary assessment, he’s pretty sure he’s going to hit the hospital jackpot once he gets a serious check-up.

“Don’t make jokes on my death, Dickface”, he exhales eventually. “It’s rude.”

Dick huffs, but he’s clearly relieved to hear his voice. Jason can’t really see him in the dark, but he knows he’s somewhere near him. He was moving towards him when the bomb took off, so the shock wave must have thrown him in his vicinity.

“You spend, like, eighty percent of your time making jokes about your death”, Dick retorts, and he sounds even closer now. Jason shifts, his back against the wall, his hands clutching his side.

“Yeah, that’s because I fucking died”, he retorts with no heat whatsoever. He’s actually smiling a little bit. “And I’ll have you know that irony is a healthy coping mechanism.”

Dick scoffs at him loud enough for Jason to hear even through all the creaking and squeaking of the building trying to reassess what’s left of itself.

“You’re such a hypocrite”, Dick answers. “Also Damian calls you his zombie brother in front of his friends all the time and you never say anything.”

“That’s just because I’m glad he stopped introducing me as his butler’s butler”, and also because the little shit acknowledging him as his brother kinda makes him feel all warm inside, but he’ll invite the Joker over for a romantic dinner before he gives Dick that satisfaction. “Besides, the kid died too, so he’s kinda entitled to make death jokes.”

“Hey, I die-”

Jason cuts him off before he can finish.

“Don’t. Seriously, don’t”, he warns him. “I’m so tired of having this conversation. You didn’t really die, you just had a fake funeral.”

“It still counts.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

Dick pauses, then grunts painfully while he moves pieces of concrete around to make his way towards him.

“You’re just embarrassed because you cried over your big brother’s fake death.”

“I actually laughed, you egomaniac asshole.”

Something on his right shifts and there’s a shower of debris somewhere over him. Dust and pieces of plaster fall all over his head, clattering against the metal of his hood, and then Dick’s there, just beside him.

“Liar”, he whispers, and Jason can practically hear the smile on his lips.

“Ask Babs if you don’t believe me”, he retorts anyway, because at this point is a matter of honor.

“I will”, his brother promises softly, then Jason feels the brush of his hands against his body and steels himself for what he knows will come next. He groans when Dick moves his hands away to examine the open wound himself, and downright whines when his brother’s fingers sink into his flesh to determine the gravity of it.

The stream of blood intensifies and Dick’s hands move again, now to push against the wound in a vain attempt to stop it, but Jason can see it flowing between Dick’s fingers, dark trickles staining the blue stripes of his brother’s uniform.

“I’m going to glue it”, Dick informs him almost colloquially, but Jason can see the hard line of his jaw and the frown he’s trying to ease. “We’ll deal with the eventual infections when we get you back to the cave.”

“If you get me back to the cave”, Jason replies. It was supposed to be a little taunt about their already forgotten argument about death jokes, but it comes out wrong and Dick shoots him an angry glare.

“When”, he repeats through his teeth, and Jason just nods.

He remains silent while Dick works on the wound, only moves to remove the helmet from his head and place it on the ground next to both of them. He looks around and then up again at the night sky. His entire body feels like it’s covered in hellfire and look! another death joke! Kind of weak, though, and not that much funny. Dick wouldn’t laugh at it, Jason thinks, as a dizzy feeling washes over him like a sea wave and his vision becomes oddly watery.

What a fucking mess, he swears again, before passing out.

*

He wakes up with his face pressed against Dick’s neck and his brother’s arm draped around his shoulders. Apparently you can’t close your eyes for the split of a minute without some bastard taking the opportunity to manhandle you in a hug. Perverts these days.

“Help is on the way”, Dick informs him as soon as he realizes he’s awake. He doesn’t say Batman because he was raised by Alfred, so a little tact still lingers on him despite his best efforts. Jason has the same problem sometimes. Bloody british education.

He struggles against Dick, trying to straighten himself up, and his brother accommodates his movements, a hand firmly squeezing his shoulder in a silent warning to take it easy.

Jason pats himself down until he feels the graze of the bandages now wrapping his torso. They’re still wet with blood but not too much, so Dick must have glued his wound well enough. It’s not gonna be funny to reopen it, but that’s pain for later. Right now he’s pretty happy to be alive and in less pain that he expected. All things considered, this isn’t so bad. And Dick seems to think the same thing because the moment their eyes meet, he graces Jason with a wide grin.

“Since we’re stuck waiting for the cavalry, let’s do that game, what’s its name…”, he pauses for effect and Jason rolls his eyes. “Something like we think we’re going to die so you tell me a secret you would’ve never told me otherwise and then we don’t die and I can use it to blackmail you for the foreseeable future.”

He even manages to look totally serious while saying it. He’s truly amazing.

“First, that’s a really long ass name for a game”, Jason retorts. “Second, I already told you to stop with the death jokes. Third, hell no, thank you.”

Dick dismisses him by waving a hand at him.

“C’mon, I’ll start”, he offers, and without even taking a moment to think about it, he lets out his big confession. “I had sex in the Batmobile.”

Jason snorts.

“Who didn’t.”

“Well, Damian, I hope.”

“Give him a couple of years.”

Dick groans at the very idea of his baby brother being old enough to even consider the idea of having sex and Jason laughs because oh boy, it’s going to be one hell of a ride for all of them when that kid hits puberty.

“Stephanie didn’t either”, Dick tries then and Jason shoots him a look of pure disbelief.

“Dick, come on, she totally took Tim’s virginity in there and you know it.”

It’s Dick’s turn to laugh now.

“And if you try to tell me that it wasn’t Barbara the one you had sex with in the Batmobile I swear I’ll shoot you”, Jason threatens him.

Dick makes an uncommitting sounds that has basically the same value of a confession.

“Okay, okay”, he surrenders. “But what about Bruce?”

A moment of silence while they both think about it.

“You know, I really don’t want to know.”

“Yeah, no, me neither”, Dick agrees. “Your turn.”

Jason huffs, and just to amuse himself he says the first thing that comes to his mind.

“I used to smoke when I was Robin.”

“That’s not a secret!”, Dick protests. “Everybody knows that!”

“And you having sex in the Batmobile was a secret? Please”, Jason scoffs. “If you tell me a shit secret you’re getting a shit secret back.”

Dick pouts at him. How he can be on his way towards his thirtieth birthday and still pout in a way that even Damian - the current master of scowling in their family - would find undignifying, it’s a mystery Jason has no interest to solve.

“Alright, a real secret then.”, Dick starts reasoning, and from his tone alone Jason immediately understands he’s not going to like the end of this conversation. “Something that I’d never tell you unless you were a mess of bruises and physically incapable of shooting me. Uhm, let me think about it for a second.”

“No”, Jason tries to interrupt him. “Stop right there. This is like the Bruce having sex thing. I don’t wanna know.”

“I lov-”, Dick starts, ignoring him and grinning like a maniac.

“I still have my guns on me, Grayson”, Jason warns.

Dick laughs.

“I missed you”, he amends, all baby blue eyes and big smile, and Jason slaps one of his hand over his face and groans.

“You fucking Disney princess”, he grumbles. “Can we just have one man-chat without you having to go all mushy on me?”

“I didn’t know we were having a man-chat”, Dick teases him, ruffling his hair because he’s obviously decided that one of them is not going to see the next sunrise. “I thought we were having a brother-chat.”

“You just like to see my suffer.”

Dick laughs again and shifts closer to him.

“I really missed you, though”, he says. “It was too long since the last time we teamed up and had a night out for ourselves. Even if it is for, you know, job.”

Jason gives him his best unimpressed glare.

“Maybe it’s because when I work with you I always seem to end up bloody.”

“Hey, that’s not my fault!”

“So you say, Dickwing.”

Dick’s comm buzzes back to life and Jason recognizes Tim’s concerned voice and the annoyed clicking of a tongue that can only belong to Damian. He goes still for a moment, then slowly relaxes. Better them than the big man himself, he thinks, and if he’s disappointed by it he’s not going to admit to anyone, much less to himself.

“So, before the kids arrive and start giving you shit for getting yourself blown up, is there something you want to say to me in return?”, Dick grins a Cheshire Cat’s grin and Jason takes in serious consideration the idea of headbutting him since he’s close enough to do it.

He knows what he’s supposed to say, and it’s not like he didn’t miss him too, because he did, in the last year he found himself missing him and Alfred and Tim and Damian and yes, even Bruce, more times that he’d like to admit. But.

“Well, let’s see. A secret that I’d never tell you unless I was in such a bad shape you could never retaliate, no matter how angry you’d be. Uhm, let me think about it”, he pretends to ponder.

“Jay, there is nothing you could do to-”, Dick starts with an indulgent smile, but he looks mildly concerned anyway. Now it’s Jason’s turn to smile like a mad men, but only mentally. If there’s something he’s learned from Tim, after all, is the value of a good bluff.

“Are you really, really sure?”, he interrupts him, looking at his brother dead in the eyes. He watches the uncertainty in Dick’s eyes turning into suspicion and then blatant distrust. Maybe he should be offended, but it truly makes him proud the way he can still keep Dick on his toes even if he’s not the bad guy anymore.

“Jason, what the fuck did you do to-”, he starts, but it’s too late. There’s some shuffling and the soft sound of two consecutives landings, and then their little brothers join them among the ruins.

“What a mess”, Tim comments, coming closer to inspection Jason’s wounds. He’s carrying a medical kit and looks like he’s already in his full doctor mode. “All you two?”

“You truly exceeded yourselves”, Damian agrees, sounding strangely approving of their trail of destruction.

“Just a bomb we didn’t take in consideration”, Dick explains quickly. “And we were having an important conversation, so if you two don’t mind-”

“I do mind”, Damian answers immediately.

“Hood needs medical care, Wing”, Tim says at the same time, crouching in front of Jason. “You can continue your conversation later. Give me a hand to lift him up.”

“But-”

“Later”, it’s Tim final word, spoken in the best Batman voice he can manage, so Dick has to suck it up and help him getting Jason - who’s trying, not that hard to be honest, not to gloat in his face - back on his feet.

“We’re not finished”, Dick growls in his ear, while fixing up one of Jason’s arm around his shoulder and the other around Tim’s. But he must know that it’s an empty threat because there’s no way Alfred or Tim would allow Dick to bother him with stupid question about a cheated game when he’s recovering from an explosion. Death jokes are not just for fun, you know.

“Hey, I’ve never agreed to play your game in the first place”, Jason reminds him with a mocking grin. “You have only yourself to blame.”

Dick, who can be a vindictive asshole when he wants to be, only answers with a slap to the back of his head (no injuries there - until a moment ago, at least) earning himself an outraged glance from Tim, a reproaching click of the tongue from Damian and a victorious laugh from Jason.

[thefightingbull]

Two Robins On A Perch

           Jason sat on the edge of an abandoned warehouse's rooftop, his legs dangling off the side, red helmet placed next to him while he smoked a cigarette. His intense teal eyes focused on the slow sunrise on the horizon. The black night to one side of him, while creeping morning made its move for dominance; it was a scene he had always been hypnotized by. It wasn't that he thought it was a lovely scene or that he had some fond memory; no, it was just the oddness that caught his attention. That so much darkness and light could be seen all at once made him feel edgy but strangely comforted.

           Tonight, he was exhausted and found this place to wind down a bit before going to bed. He pulled a gun-metal gray flask from his black leather jacket and took a swig of his whiskey before taking another drag. He barely noticed the pain in his left arm anymore, though he noticed his hand was bloody, which meant the knife wound had opened up again. At the moment, he didn't care though, he just wanted to sit on this summer morning and not think about anything.

           “You really should get your arm bandaged.” Now that was a voice he had least expected to hear. Not that he had been expecting anyone at all, but if someone was going to bother him on a rooftop he would have thought it would be a beautiful blue-bird, or even a grumpy old bat. Taking another drag, Jason casually glanced over at Red Robin, his replacement and according to Dickie-Bird, his little brother.  He removed the domino mask from his face. “Would you like me to help?”

           “What the fuck do you want, Pretender?” Jason snarled.

           “To talk.” Tim stated calmly.

           That was always his way, a way that Jason hated, probably because it was so obviously opposite to him. The calm, reserved and genius 'Boy Wonder' the third, had rarely ever lost control of his emotions. He was all logic and no heart, like he was just a robot that pretended to be human. That was another reason Jason liked to call him Pretender. Even at eighteen, the boy had yet to have a complete emotional breakdown. Of course, Dick had often told him of how Tim lost his temper around their baby brother Damian, but to Jason that didn't count. Damian was the spawn of the devil and capable of enraging a snail if left alone with it for too long.

           Despite his curiosity, Jason refused to ask what he wanted to speak with him about. Why was this stupid kid talking to him anyhow? He had been made to believe that while Tim wouldn't back down from a fight, he was frightened enough of Jason's 'instability' to ever seek him out on his own. It was something Bruce, Dick and even Alfred had tried to talk to him about.

           “Go away, Replacement before I throw you off this fucking roof.” The former Robin growled before taking another drag and looking back out at the sky.

           “You're issues with me are exactly why I am here. I can't go on like this anymore, Jason. We have to talk through this, or fight through this. I don't really care which, but I...” As Jason looked up at the young man he was surprised to see the sheer amount of emotion in the boy's crystal blue eyes.

            The Red Hood could handle Damian's temper tantrums, he could understand Bruce's cold responses, Hell he could even put up with Dick's obnoxiously cheerful and upbeat attitude but this emotionally confused Tim Drake was not something he wanted to deal with, let alone felt comfortable being around.

           “Look, I have had a long night and dealing with you while you are on the rag is the last thing I want to do.” Jason shook his head as he stood up. “Besides, you are killing my buzz.”        

           “To Hell with your addictions!” Tim growled as he stood, his eyes burning with unshed tears. “Please, Jason, just let me speak and after I am done, you never have to talk to me again if you don't want to. I swear.”

           While Jason normally would have laughed and cruelly poked fun of the boy for being so upset, this time was different. He heard it in the young man's voice, the desperation and the heartache. He wanted so badly to throw him off the roof, but instead he found himself sitting back down and taking another gulp from his flask. He offered it to Tim, knowing he wouldn't accept.

           “No thank you,” Tim said as he took a deep breath. “I have tried to speak to Dick about this issue between you and I, mostly because I know he initially resented you back when you were the replacement, but Dick has never been hateful like you so he couldn't help much. Then I tried Bruce, but mentioning you...Let's just say he can't help much either. I even tried to talk to Damian because he is as hateful as you can be, but that was about as pointless and hurtful as banging my own head into a wall.”

           “Get to the fucking point!” Jason snapped impatiently.

           “Jason, I didn't replace you.” Tim spoke softly, his courage almost failing him as he looked to his older brother. “Bruce doesn't replace any of us. He may add to his family, but that doesn't mean he forgets or stops caring about us.”

           “Just stop, Pretender. You are driving me crazy.” Jason growled as he pulled out yet another cigarette and lit it while dropping the other. “I don't need the after school special from you, got it?”

           “Why can't we move passed this, why do you have to hate me?” The sound in Tim's voice was so hurt, so broken that Jason nearly dropped his cigarette. “I know that we aren't a perfect family, and that I in particular seem so distant and...mechanical, but the idea that you hate me...”

           As a tear fell down Tim's cheek, Jason winced but hid it behind taking another drag from his cigarette. Why was this bothering him so much? He didn't normally give a single shit what the Bat family thought or felt, yet watching Tim try so hard to express his pain, his need for acceptance and approval....It brought him right back to his own struggles as being 'The Replacement' and what was worse? Tim was right. Dick wasn't near as hateful or cruel about being replaced like Jason had been.

           “Grow up Tim.” Jason snapped, his own guilt ridden anger lashing out unexpectedly.

           Another tear dropped as Tim's head hung. “You are right.” He said calmly, pushing all of his emotions away as he wiped his eyes.

           This was the real reason he pretended not to care, not to feel much except anger when Damian bothered him. It was easier when people accidentally hurt feelings that they didn't know he had versus purposely hurting him.

           “I just thought you ought to know that Dick didn't become a good brother because he liked me better than you, he did it because he was trying to make up for how he treated you, just like Batman has tried to make up for being a terrible father to you. You were dead, you asshole. There wasn't much they could do for you except honor a memory of a boy who they believed would have wished them happiness and ease of conscience.” Tim added before turning his back on the Hood.

           “Don't you dare talk to me like that, you little shit! You think you know what we all feel just because you are a genius? You aren't anything but a walking calculator that pretends to feel once in a while! A pretender and a replacement!” Jason shouted bitterly.

           With anger Tim turned, his domino back over his eyes, hiding the flashing blue. “You rotten, selfish bastard! What is your problem? Daddy didn't kill the monster under your bed?” Red Robin growled as he approached the still seated Jason. “What the Hell kind of son wants his father to destroy his own soul? What kind of son wishes for nothing but pain and misery to befall his father and anyone close to him? Do you have any idea what it was like to be your 'replacement'? To know that every time Batman was near me, it was only to do a job and nothing else? To know that I would never be his son like you were because he wouldn't let me be. You and Dick and Damian... you all three whine and bitch and moan about your lack of time with him, and even though I have been Robin for the longest time, I am the one he thinks about least. The one he forgets about. The one he kept at a distance for the longest time. Dick was his first, you were the one he failed to save and Damian is his son... but what I am, Jason? Tell me, you seem to know everything! You have all the answers!

           “It makes me just a replacement, right? Just a stand in until something better came along. Poor little Red Hood, crying on a roof top because no one loves him, yet at different times you have been asked by nearly everyone in the family to come home. What are you waiting for? A written invitation?”

           Jason blinked up at his little brother and found himself at a loss for words. He had heard very similar rants from Dick and Bruce, but they hadn't affected him the way Tim's voice behind them had. He remembered the pain of rejection when Dick first met him, the cold demeanor of Wayne whenever he made a mistake or didn't quite do as well as Goldie. He knew exactly what it felt like to be the replacement and to be the fuck-up. He had never once wondered what it would be like to be his own replacement. What had Bats been like with Tim Drake? It was no secret that it had taken quite a while before Bruce had finally started to open up and let the boy into his heart. Even Bruce had admitted that to Jason during one of their heated arguments.

           Tim shook his head and started to walk away. “So long Jason.”

           Jason rolled his eyes as he shook his head. “Just sit down and shut up. You got your chance to talk, now give me mine.”

           With great trepidation, Tim reluctantly sat beside him. He watched the Red Hood smoke his cigarette and throw back another swing from the flask. He wasn't sure he wanted to talk to a drunken Jason or even sit near him for too long. For all he knew the former Robin just might throw him off the roof as he had threatened to once already.

           “Look, Drake, let's pretend for just a moment that I understand you. That I can actually relate and that I might be willing to concede that I have been cruel and unfair to you during this whole process.” Jason felt much better as his mind released some of that anger and rage. He loved alcohol and it made it much easier to try to 'bond' with the Replacement. “Let's pretend that I am sorry, that I do view you as one of my three brothers and that I only call you those names because I am an asshole and fucked up and even though I am still angry, it's not at you or even batman. Just the situation altogether. Let's go ahead and pretend too, that I sometimes see it as a term of endearment. OK?”

           Tim frowned as he tilted his head and looked to his older brother. “So we are going to pretend all of this is true, even though it isn't?”  

           Jason rolled his eyes. “No you idiot, that's the truth. We are just going to pretend that it's not while also secretly pretending that it is. And this stays just between you and me, got it? This conversation never happened and I don't want to hear about it ever again.” He paused as he frowned and then looked to Tim, his dark blue eyes hard and serious. “You know Drake, you are probably the only Robin worthy of being him.”

           Tim blinked his surprise at the sudden words. It was a bit heavy and kind of sappy but that's how he knew his brother was speaking the truth. Pretending to be a little more buzzed than Tim believed he was, made it so that his Jason could say the things that his pride and anger wouldn't allow while 'sober'.

           “Mind if I sit here for a bit?”

           “Don't press your luck, Pretender.” Jason smirked, but offered him his flask once more.

           Bruce watched his sons from the dying shadows behind a cowl that made him one of the most frightening creatures a criminal could behold. The sun had nearly risen and with it a sense of hope he had never felt before. Tim and Jason were talking, maybe their words were filled with anger and pain, but they were finally talking. Perhaps his family could be whole again someday. Not right away, but in the future it suddenly felt like more than a 'maybe'.

           Moving silently as the bat slowly took back over his body he couldn't help one final thought. He was proud of his sons this morning.