#i did see that she does wear the cute dress she sports in the game for ep 9 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

biffhofosho · 2 years

Text

Perfect Game

Fandom: Monsta X

Genre: Smut, natch.

Word Count: 15k

Pairing: Hyungwon x OC

Trope: Best friends to lovers

Synopsis: Who would have thought that a game of bowling could change the trajectory of a friendship? Then again, maybe that’s been the plan all along…

The Vibe: Dreamboat university best friend Hyungwon, a little jealousyyyyyyyyy, gratuitous falling in love, smut with so many feelings, awkward admission of said feelings, and happily ever after.

A/N: This was inspired by two things, both from the same source: Inssa Oppa, specifically, the man behind the introvert—the Chae Hyungwon I’m dying to call my best friend—as well as that one bowling scene. >.< That viciously up-ended my life. I am not the same woman I once was because of it.

This is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT self-indulgent and most definitely my gift to myself on my 40th birthday, but I hope you enjoy it, too.

It was half past seven when Maaya picked up her best friend Hyungwon from his apartment on the north side of campus.

“Seriously, Wonnie?” she said as he slipped into the passenger seat.

“What?”

“A white tee, skinny jeans, and a ballcap? You know that’s my favorite. Now, I’m going to be comparing every guy I meet tonight to you.”

“Don’t you always?” he teased, and she sighed.

“You’re supposed to be helping me move on from Kun.”

“And I will, a promise is a promise, but can’t I look good, too?”

“Please. You look good in absolutely everything. You could have worn literally anything other than the perfect boyfriend look tonight.”

“But I am the perfect boyfriend,” he protested softly.

“You’re the perfect pain in my ass. What do you need the hat for anyway? The sun’s going down.”

“Well, until it does, I guess I’ll wear it.”

“Annoying,” she groused.

Hyungwon pursed his lips as he appraised her piloting down the main drag through the university. “You’re one to talk, dressed in a flouncy little skirt and a tight tank.”

“You told me to dress cute!” Maaya wailed.

“I said cute, not sexy.”

“Whatever, that’s the point, right? To get guys to notice me?”

“Yeah, well, it’s cold out,” he admonished.

“Barely.”

Hyungwon glowered at the ponytailed driver. “You do know how night works, right? It’s going to get colder.”

“Says the guy in the tee-shirt.”

“I brought a jacket,” he retorted, draping a leather jacket across his lap, and now his boyfriend look adopted that subtle bad boy edge that made Maaya shift in her seat. Hyungwon didn’t seem to notice as he added, “I don’t see any church girl cardigans in the back to dampen your sexy.”

Maaya grinned slyly. “Okay, fine, you’re right. You’re right. Mom always said to dress for the job you want. I thought the same might apply to dating.”

Hyungwon glanced at her from the corner of his eye as he hummed.

“So, what did you have in mind for tonight, Mr. Chae?”

“Midterms were brutal. I’m in the mood for a win tonight. How about bowling?”

“You’re serious? Wonnie, you’ve never been good at a sport in your life unless you count competitive sleeping.”

“Scared?” he baited.

“Not on your life. What’s my record in our challenges? Eight to two?”

Hyungwon tapped his lip with his finger. “You know I was never good at history either.”

Maaya sighed. “Fine, it’s your funeral. Stakes?”

“How about a favor to be named later?” he suggested.

“I was thinking, like, loser buys next pizza, but if you want to be indebted to me, that’s fine. I’ll warn you in advance though, I already know my favor. You’re driving to Jisung’s wedding so I can get plastered and you can stay woefully sober.”

Hyungwon shrugged. “If I were worried at all about losing, that might depress me.”

Maaya had never seen her best friend so confident in anything except the Instagram modeling he did on the side. A slight trickle of worry alighted down her back before a chaser of frustration did.

“Wait, so what the hell did you tell me to get dressed up for if we were just going to go to some grimy bowling alley?”

“I resent the accusation that I would take you anywhere grimy,” he replied. “Let’s go to Lovers’ Lanes. It’s close to campus, and they have cosmic bowling.”

Maaya spared a moment from the Friday night traffic to grimace at her passenger. “Wonnie, I’m in a skirt.”

“Yes, and as we’ve established, you look equal parts sexy and cute. Look, it’s dollar drafts at the lanes, and I’m sure there will be some equally sexy and cute single guy there who will be only too happy to take notice.”

“Not that it’ll make a bit of difference,” she grumbled. “Everyone always assumes we’re a couple. You know you cockblock me without even trying.”

“Do I?” Hyungwon mused with a twitch at his lips.

“You so do, and you so know it. God, you’re insufferable. Why do I continue to hang out with you?”

“How about I promise not to cockblock at all tonight? It would be a shame for you to look so pretty and not get the attention you deserve.”

Maaya rolled her eyes. She knew Hyungwon meant both the compliment and the promise, but it didn’t change the fact that when guys saw them together, they steered clear, and it didn’t help that, over the years, as the pair of them had transitioned from friends to best friends, Hyungwon had become more and more affectionate. He liked sharing a booth with her instead of sitting across from her. He liked torturing her with spontaneous tickles or draping himself over her shoulders. He liked complimenting her as much as he liked teasing her, and who the hell was she kidding, she liked it, too. But as soon as a potential love interest caught wind of that, the “potential” part became “vanishing.”

It also made dating anyone very difficult. Usually, Maaya had to curb her hangouts with Hyungwon down to next to nothing just so she wouldn’t have to deal with the constant accusations of cheating. It didn’t matter if she assured her boyfriends that Hyungwon had never, ever been into her; nobody liked to see his girlfriend curled up alongside a bona fide model watching dramas in an ill-lit apartment. It wasn’t like she could just stop the PDA with her bestie that she was so used to, so if she was serious about the guy she was dating, Maaya would shelve their unsupervised time until her relationship inevitably petered out, and then she’d come crawling back like usual, which was exactly what she was doing now. Hyungwon always understood because he had to do the same with his girlfriends, and in the end, the two of them both knew they’d always find their way back to each other.

Maaya had spent a whirlwind three months with her latest ex, a former teacher’s assistant of hers, having a lot of sex in a lot of wild places, but that turned out to be all it was. It was sex for the sake of sex since, outside of the bedroom (or classroom or car or supply room…), they had next to nothing to talk about. As spontaneous as they could be, in the end, their lack of chemistry kept good sex from becoming unforgettable sex. It was time to forget Kun and focus on finding a guy who made her feel special and heard and pretty and sexy all at the same time. But over the years, that combination had proven elusive.

“Turn here,” Hyungwon said, shaking her from her autopilot. “Now, Maaya! Jeez.”

Her car screeched as she jerked the wheel into the tight parking lot behind Lovers’ Lanes. It was mostly full, but since it was a small lot to begin with, Maaya wasn’t holding out hope.

“That’s a veteran bumper sticker, Wonnie. If this place is all boomers, I swear…”

“Would you quit your whining? You’ll see. Lots of surprises in store.”

She narrowed her eyes again. “What’s with the man of mystery act, huh? Did you pregame before I picked you up?”

Maaya leaned in to sniff his breath for alcohol, but all she could smell was the mint of his toothpaste enhanced by the mint of his mouthwash.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Hyungwon retorted. “You are being ridiculous, you know.”

He held open the door for her, and Maaya walked in, expecting a dingy place that reeked of years of cigarette smoke and unwashed feet. The feet part was true enough close to the shoe counter, but beyond that, the place was clean and shiny, already glowing with blacklights near the lanes. Balls thumped, whizzed, and clattered down the oiled wood into ethereal glowing pins.

Maaya scoped out the clientele. As she suspected, there were a few older men finishing their last frames by the entrance while most of the rest of the place was empty.

“What’d I say?” she said as she joined Hyungwon at the shoe counter. “You said, ‘There’ll be tons of hot guys, Maaya.’ And it’s just us and some grandads. I should have known my borderline boomer best friend would take me to hang out with his boomer best friends. Guess I’m angling to be a sugar baby then…”

It was Hyungwon’s turn to narrow his eyes. “Pipe down.”

“Pipe down?” she laughed. “Boomer.”

He groaned. “That’s enough out of you. Have a beer and some nachos. I’m paying anyway.”

“Ooh, boyfriend Hyungwon even pays. Wonders never cease.”

Maaya propped up against the shoe counter as her best friend bought a game and a pair of shoe rentals. Slouching there with his string bean frame and hint of biceps swelling beneath his sleeves, black bangs tousled under the brim of his cap, he really did look like a boyfriend, and it was really unsettling. It was easier to fend off her longstanding, ever-present, but completely pointless crush when she had an actual boyfriend to go home to, but when neither of them did… Well, honestly, that had never happened before, if she thought about it. But at least it was easy enough to lean into their usual bickering and forget how good it would feel to slide her hand under the hem of his shirt to the small of his back…

Maaya felt her hand twitch toward him at her side. Okay, maybe not so easy to forget after all…

She grabbed her dingy shoe rentals from the clerk and dangled them by the laces. “Ah, the height of fashion. Sure beats these heels for sex appeal.”

Hyungwon matched her scowl with a sarcastic one of his own. “ At least you’ll look attainable now. Any guy willing to hit on you when you look this hot is bound to be an egomaniac too stupid to be intimidated by your hotness or just some dumb frat kid like Vernon.”

Maaya laughed as she sank into a seat and slid her feet into a pair of borrowed socks Hyungwon had had the forethought to bring (and, thus, betrayed his plan to take her to this ill-fated man-hunting reserve all along).

“Vernon was sweet and far from dumb. It cracks me up that it’s been almost a year, and you still hate him so much.”

“You were together way too long for how little he put into your relationship.”

“I don’t know where you get these things, honestly,” she said. “Vernon was a great boyfriend, which is why we dated for three years, and I broke up with him because I didn’t want to do long distance, not because he was an asshole.”

“Whatever you say…”

Maaya sighed and finished tying her shoes. The scuffed leather clashed something fierce with her flower skirt, but at least she wasn’t alone in her tragic fashion statement. Somehow, like always, her best friend managed to sell the look with his tight jeans and now-glowing tee. His ballcap had been tossed onto the table, freeing a mop of silky black hair that billowed in soft waves when he forked his hand through it—which was all too often, as far as she was concerned. Normally, he sported what she called “grandpa-chic,” but today, he was a too-handsome college heartthrob.

“I’ll get us set up,” Hyungwon said as he sat at the computer and typed into the board.

When Maaya finally looked up, she slapped her friend’s shoulder as she hissed, “‘Princess’? Really?”

“What?” he said as he finished typing ‘Wonnie’ on his line of the board. “You’re spoiled and you’re definitely acting like one.”

“Hilarious. Yet again, everyone’s going to think that’s your nickname for your girlfriend—me.”

“You’re overreacting.”

“I’m so not.”

Hyungwon studied her for a long moment before he asked, “You want me to get them to wipe the board?”

“Don’t bother,” Maaya replied with a groan. “Like I’m going to meet a hunk at a bowling alley anyway.”

“Okay, so, can we play now, princess?”

“Don’t push it,” she warned, though they were both smiling.

At least she had a chance to backspace his screenname in time to switch it to a much more apt “NotMyBF” that made Hyungwon scowl much deeper than the Princess dig had for her.

He found a ball suspiciously quickly, almost like he knew exactly which one suited him best, but it took Maaya a lot longer to find the right weight with the right-sized finger holes.

“And you call me a turtle,” he laughed when she returned to the lane with her swirled orange ball now glowing psychedelic sherbet under the black lights.

“Shut up. The last time I went bowling was fifteen years ago with the other second graders.” Maaya looked up at the mocking name on the monitor and grimaced. “I should make you go first just to serve you right.”

But the man had a quip at the ready: “Winners bowl second so they can size up the competition.”

Hyungwon was doing that irresistible smirk of his, the one that always told his best friend he was holding something juicy back from her. Maaya felt her body charge with electricity.

“Just remember,” she warned as she stepped to the foul line, “you asked for the thunder.”

With a sharp look back over her shoulder first, she focused on the cyberpunk pins waiting in their regimented lines at the end of the glowing lanes. One mighty heft later, and Maaya’s ball skidded down the lane, slowing with every rotation until it veered sharply right into the gutter.

Neck as stiff as she could make it, she turned on her heel and whisked over to the ball return.

“Say nothing!” she demanded to the judge-jury-and-executioner behind her.

This throw, Maaya was determined to get her ball to the pins, and she practiced a few swings, picturing her arm like a pendulum. She threw harder this time, and the ball went straighter… and straighter… until it bent gradually to the right again. At least this time, it scratched the two last pins, and a paltry two emblazoned the monitor above her lane.

Maaya braced, but Hyungwon didn’t say a word. Instead, he squared up to the lane, took a bit of a running start, and swept his right leg behind his left so when he scooped his ball and released it, the momentum launched it fast and far. It thundered down the lane, veering toward the right gutter just as hers had, only his curved quickly back toward the left, hitting the headpin dead-on. The rest of the pins fell with a great clatter, showering like neon blue sparks in the cosmic light.

Hyungwon stood there for a moment, still leaning in his pose like a sail catching a headwind. As the pinsetter racked up his mess, he strolled back to the seats and sat down.

“You’re kidding me, right?” Maaya said through her gape. “You didn’t even put your fingers in the holes.”

“I was just trying to be funny. Lucky shot, lucky shot,” he muttered with a hint of a fresh smirk as he crossed his legs.

For a long moment, she squinted at the man next to her, but he didn’t flinch. “Really lucky…”

“Your turn, princess.”

This time, Maaya was dead set on proving herself, and she adjusted her hold so that the ball wouldn’t swerve into the right gutter this time. And it didn’t. It rolled into the left. She tipped back her head as she let out a gurgling sigh, but Hyungwon didn’t say anything, which was for the best because she was thinking of lobbing her ball into his lap for this stupid bowling idea. She was way too competitive to play a game she hadn’t played in eons, especially with actual stakes.

On her second roll, she split the difference between the two holds, and while the ball trundled neatly down the center, there was no spin on it nor was there any speed, and when it hit the headpin, only three other pins fell.

Again, Hyungwon strolled up to the lane and repeated his elegant toss like the ball weighed nothing. He turned around and headed back for his seat as the symphony of exploding pins heralded yet another victory.

He didn’t even bother to watch…

“Wait a minute,” Maaya hissed as she stared at the second X on the monitor. “Why do you bowl like that? Who bowls like that!”

Hyungwon shrugged. “What’s wrong with the way I bowl?”

“Evidently nothing since you got another strike. You’re going to tell me that’s lucky too?”

“I am. Going to tell you that,” he added after a suspiciously weird pause.

She stalked back over to her ball more determined than ever to put on a good show. This time, Maaya coughed, hoping to distract her competition from realizing she was trying to copy his cavalier bowling style, but it ended up a creating mess, with her ball skipping the gutter entirely and crashing into the empty lane next to them with a cataclysmic boom that made the granddads down the lanes look her way. No amount of black light could hide the heat on her face. Instead, she kept her back stubbornly to Hyungwon as she waited at the neighboring ball return for her do-over.

Luckily, he didn't say anything even when she returned to their lane and bowled as conservatively as she could, borderline ball-between-the-knees kindergarten bowling. The ball wheeled slowly but directly down the polished wood and knocked down a triumphant five pins. Maaya would have celebrated if it weren’t for the unshakable crash of her ball tumbling into the neighboring lane still resounding between her ears.

“Hey, right lane this time,” Hyungwon trumpeted, but she refused to look at him, not when she knew what she’d find on his face—that smug grin, the one that said “at least you tried.” She knew it well because she often gave it to him in their matchups. Maaya just wasn’t used to being on the end that received it. “And since it didn’t even know you bowled that first hand, you get another shot.”

Muttering under her breath the whole time, she sent the ball with all of her frustration down the lane and nailed another pin for her first back-to-back hit of the night.

“I am going to destroy you,” she swore as she plopped back down and crossed her arms.

“No need for sour grapes, princess. You want me to coach you?”

“I want you to shut up and bowl, you one-hit wonder.”

Hyungwon laughed as he brushed a hand through his long hair. Maaya hated it. It took his already handsome face and amplified it, and it was impossible to stay angry at him. And, as usual, her friend knew when to push the envelope even further. She watched with bated breath as his slender fingers slid up his own bicep to his shoulder, and she shook her head meekly.

“Wonnie, don’t.”

“What?” he asked with mock surprise as he cuffed his t-shirt sleeve over his shoulder.

“Come on, that's not playing fair. You're already winning.”

He shrugged his now-naked shoulder before he worked on the other sleeve. “Not good enough. Now that you know a few of my tricks, I need to keep you off your game.”

Maaya’s eyes glazed over. She knew she was gawking at him, but she was also powerless against the onslaught of skin contoured by the shadows of the moody lights. Hyungwon had always been a lean kid, borderline gangly in high school, with his long torso and longer limbs, but since he'd come to university, he’d become a bit of a gym rat. Judging by the flex of his biceps and the supple pull of tendons through his shoulder, it had paid off in spades.

While he loitered at the ball return with that damned freshly-tousled hair, he spared another moment to tuck his t-shirt into the front of his jeans as well, and it shook her out of her glassy-eyed ogling.

“Dude, wait. Is your waist seriously smaller than mine? How have I never noticed! You're giving me all kinds of complexes tonight, Wonnie.”

“It’s just because my shoulders have gotten bigger,” he asserted.

Damnit, now she was looking at his shoulders again and, indeed, how much bulkier they’d gotten. Maybe she hadn’t noticed in a while since she’d had to spend less time with him thanks to her last relationship, but it was impossible to ignore them now.

“Really? Two lousy strikes, and you’ve picked up bragging as a hobby now?” she teased, hoping to lose herself in some familiar banter with her witty best friend.

“Ha ha,” he deadpanned. “Get over here.”

Her eyes narrowed. This, she didn’t expect, but she also knew she wouldn’t say no. Reluctantly, Maaya got up and trudged over to him like a death row inmate marching to her ultimate doom.

“Stand still,” Hyungwon instructed. His hands gripped her waist, squeezing a few times to test the curve of her hourglass.

“What the hell!” she shouted. “That tickles! What are you even doing?”

A second later, the brand of his hands left her body and gripped his own waist. He looked even more slender and toned as he cinched his t-shirt tighter to his body. The blacklight outlined the dramatic triangle from his shoulders to that little waist, and Maaya felt her eyelids drooping.

“Hm. We need further tests,” he declared as his hands dropped from his sides.

“Oh, so that was a test and not just another excuse to grope me?”

“I would never.”

She scoffed. “Okay, you've been spending too much time with Minhyuk.”

“Just come here, come closer.” Hyungwon pointed to one of the markings just in front of his feet, and as Maaya took each step forward, she felt her breath get a little shallower and her head get a little lighter. They were nearly toe-to-toe now. She stared straight ahead, into the blazing neon of his broad chest. “Okay, remember, hold still.”

This time, his arms encircled her waist completely so he had to dip forward and crush his chest into her cheek.

“Oh my god, what are these shenanigans now?” she mumbled into his shirt. Nose buried in the folds of cotton, it was impossible to miss the tendrils of wood and rose clinging to him. Maaya was used to Hyungwon’s lazy boy cologne of fresh linen Febreze, so he must have borrowed this from somebody, which was plenty weird enough, but not as weird as how much her body was reacting to it. Every neuron was firing, sparking a need for more friction to get a real fire going.

“Now,” he began. His voice was always deep and grumbly, usually like a bear forced out of hibernation, but here it was husky and low and far too close to her ear. “Put your arms around me, too. Tighten them.”

“Why?” she protested though her hands were already slithering around her best friend’s waist.

“Science.”

His stupid answer lightened the mood, and Maaya laughed. “There’s nothing scientific about a hug.”

“It’s not a hug. It’s an experiment. Hold me tight. Don't let go.”

Hyungwon was so warm. His skin heated his shirt like a cozy blanket, and it was too easy to sink into its softness. Her throat was very, very dry now, probably from the cologne, she reasoned. Maaya swallowed hard.

“What are we supposed to be learning here?” she mumbled.

“Whose waist is smaller.”

“Well?”

“Inconclusive.”

Maaya pushed off of Hyungwon dramatically and scrubbed her cheeks to hide any redness that might be lurking there. “Why do I keep falling for your very stupid stunts?”

“Because you like them,” he sneered. With that, he picked up the ball and chucked it as he had been all night, with callous indifference, and it rolled as it had all night, collapsing every last damn pin.

She growled. “That was just to throw me more off my game?”

“What game?”

Maaya stuck out her tongue at him.

Carefree as ever, Hyungwon stood at the end of the lane, looking at her with his newly sculpted body pulsing neon blue, his thumbs hooked in his pockets. The corner of his mouth twitched as he nodded back toward the racking pins. “Hey, you know what they call that?”

“A ringer?” she groused.

“A turkey. Three strikes in a row,” he informed proudly.

“You’re a turkey.”

“I am.”

And for second, Maaya actually thought she could see a striking plume of feathers puffed out behind him.

“More like a peacock. I’ve known you six years, and I’ve never heard you talk about bowling once. Where did you learn that?”

Hyungwon shrugged. “My dad’s a league bowler. He taught me as a kid.”

“So that’s where you learned this— this—” she stuttered as she waved at him, “this elegant ball-chucking pose?”

“You think it’s elegant?” His smirk was a full-blown smile now, the one that always made the little bread loaves in his cheek rise.

“Shut up. You know you look good.”

“You want me to show you how to bowl?”

“Thank you, but I think I can manage losing all on my own.”

Hyungwon cocked an eyebrow. “Just trying to help. Might be a cool party trick for your next boyfriend.”

“Guys aren’t impressed when a woman can bowl,” Maaya countered. “In fact, no one is.”

Except that wasn’t true and she knew it. Watching Hyungwon bowl like an ace, tossing the ball down the lane with his leg swept back to twist his long body like a wave about to crest at the shore… well, Maaya wasn’t just impressed. She was turned on, and that was more than a little ridiculous. It was bowling, for God’s sake.

“You’re right,” Hyungwon said with a smug grin that she both hated and loved in equal parts. “Show me what you got, Wantanabe."

Maaya stepped to the foul line, determined to crush the pins just by envisioning her opponent’s handsome face at the other end of the lane, but to absolutely nobody’s surprise, the ball zipped almost immediately into the gutter. She could feel Hyungwon’s smile as oily as the lanes.

“Fine,” she huffed. “One tip.”

“One tip’s not going to help. Quit complaining and just listen, okay?”

Hyungwon joined Maaya at the foul line and, right away, adjusted her form, guiding her right leg back in a cool swoop and situating her ball in her hand. She felt the imprint of his hand on her bare knee for far too long after he’d removed it.

“You want to twist your hand a bit toward the inside of your leg, okay?”

“But it’s pointing toward the gutter now,” she protested. “I want to stay out of the gutter.”

“That’s impossible for you and your dirty mind,” Hyungwon ribbed, but he was standing far too close to her to be making suggestive jokes. Maaya could feel his breath on her skin, and true to form, she was back in the gutter as he continued, “Just trust me. If we do everything right, the ball will hook back to the center. Okay, now, you want to kind of cradle the ball from underneath. Don’t point it down but hold it up just a little. Give it a little cushion. Bend your arm just a bit like a scoop. Keep the elbow soft. Too stiff and you’ll tweak the lines.”

His fingers danced about her arm, adjusting her wrist and her grip and then sliding up her forearm to position her just as he wanted. Maaya was trying to picture those pins, but instead, she was picturing him bending her limbs into all other kinds of positions that had nothing to do with the sport at hand.

“That’s good enough,” Hyungwon said as he appraised her. “Take a couple of swings like that, but don’t let the ball go just yet. Get a feel for the position, okay?”

She cleared her throat and focused on the foreign stance she found herself in, leg cocked behind her and arm weighted by an eight-pound ball.

“Looking good there, pretty lady,” he praised. “I want you to try and throw it now. Don’t worry too much about speed yet. Let’s see if we can get you to hook it as is.”

As best as she could muster, Maaya tossed the ball down the lane. She knew instantly that she had zero shot at ten pins, but as the ball rolled down the wood with a satisfactory whir-whir-whir, it dodged the gutter at the last second as though pulled by magnets toward the other edge of the lane. It clipped the last six pins on the left side, and she gasped.

“It worked!”

“Of course it did,” Hyungwon replied, and there it was again—the confidence. His smile was so cocksure and proud, that Maaya’s stomach flip-flopped. “Too bad your turn’s over, and it’s back to decimating you.”

Hyungwon promptly knocked over eight pins, which he rectified only a moment later with an easy spare, and went back to lounging with his wide arm and leg splay on the seat as he watched her line up her next frame.

This time, Maaya repeated her last throw with near duplicate precision, and the results were the same.

“See if you can throw a little faster,” Hyungwon shouted, and as soon as she did, one more pin came down. Not perfect, but seven points was the best frame she’d thrown all game.

Back and forth the pair went with Hyungwon demolishing her (though his three spares felt decidedly like gutter balls considering the sea of X’s on his line), but at least Maaya was showing some progress, including one precious spare of her own. She had always remembered bowling games dragging on forever, but since there were only two of them, one of whom only required one turn at basically every frame, the game had flown by, and she was surprised at how disappointed she was that it was over. Chalk that up to the fact that the only good-looking guy in the alley was the one she brought with her.

“Where are all the studs?” she wondered mockingly as she polished off her beer.

“Got here early on purpose,” Hyungwon mumbled as he had continued on the game board.

“Why? So you could showboat without competition?”

“Like I had any real competition,” he fired back.

Maaya assumed that was a joke at her expense and stuck her tongue out at him. “I’ve already shaken off that 247 to 71 loss. Now you've awoken the beast, Wonnie. I'm taking you down this round.”

“You want to play again?” he asked hopefully.

“You promised me cute guys. I’m playing until one shows up.”

Maaya couldn’t read her best friend’s face. One moment, he looked annoyed and the next pleased, but she figured it out as soon as he said, “Fine. Just remember, I won the challenge no matter how many more games we play.”

“Oh, you’re afraid you can’t repeat that fluke success, huh?”

The chide shook Hyungwon out of his weird mood, and they set up the next game immediately. He bought a fresh round of beers and big soft pretzel to share, and Maaya was grinning from ear to ear despite how sweaty the gross shoes were and how stupid she felt being the only woman in the alley in a skirt.

Mid-way through the second game, as promised, the alley started to fill up with younger people, though most of the arrivals were other couples or gangs of girls. That was until four cute guys walked in, the last one particularly striking with his full lips and cocky swagger. In his backwards ballcap and loose hoody, he was ridiculously attractive. And he was looking right back at her.

Maaya bit her lip.

A hand flashed in front of her face. She blinked, trying to remember what else was going on around her.

“Hello?” Hyungwon called. “Did you hear me? I asked if you know what four strikes in a row is called?”

“Oh, uh, um, an ostrich?”

“A four-bagger—what the hell has got you so interested over there?” her best friend complained and put his chin on her shoulder.

Maaya glowered at him out of the corner of her eye. “Guess you weren’t lying after all.”

“What are you talking about?”

“See that guy over there?” she said, nodding two lanes down toward the very handsome platinum blonde with deep dimples that promised sweetness and sharp eyes that hinted at devilry.

“Which guy?” Hyungwon asked as he shuffled closer behind her, arms around her waist now.

She scoffed at her friend and shook out of his grip. “Seriously, Wonnie? He’s literally staring at us. I thought you weren’t going to be my cooler tonight?”

He raised his hands in surrender and backed off. “Sorry, sorry! Old habits. I just thought a little jealousy might go a long way.”

Maaya rolled her eyes. “How is jealousy going to get me laid?”

Hyungwon’s eyes widened. “Laid? I didn't realize you were that hard up.”

“Why the hell do you think I wore those ridiculous heels tonight?” She gestured back toward the beautiful cobalt strappy stilettos she’d paired with her skirt before she tacked on, “Before I knew we were going bowling...”

“Yeah, it would be something to see you struggling to granny-bowl, bent over in that skirt and those heels...” As usual, Hyungwon drifted into one of his zone-outs, his mind a million miles away.

Maaya snapped her fingers a couple of times in front of his face, and his attention returned to her, or more specifically, her heels. It was her turn to poke him. “Hello? What?”

“I think you might have just unlocked something for me.”

“Granny-bowling in heels does it for you now? Lord, your mind's in the gutter, too, now, Wonnie, along with the rest of my balls.”

Hyungwon let out one of his gut-busting laughs that she loved so much, and Maaya sighed. She turned back to the new cute boy, happy to find him still watching. She shrugged at the stranger, let her ponytail out in as seductive a way as she could manage, and thumbed back at Hyungwon with an apologetic face. The other boy, to her great relief, grinned, his dimples deepening to epic proportions.

“Damn, he’s cute,” she muttered under her breath.

Hyungwon exhaled dramatically. “You told me my hat was stupid and pointless, and here you are, drooling over that joker’s.”

“It should be pointless, but it isn’t,” she said dreamily.

“Hey! We still have a game going on, you know,” Hyungwon interrupted, “and it’s your turn.”

“Eh, I’m dead to rites, aren’t I?”

“I mean, you are…”

“Go on, name your favor then, and we can call it quits, so I can go chat him up.”

“I know I promised to be your wingman, but I’m still your best friend,” reminded Hyungwon, “and I’m not ready to be the sacrificial lamb. Besides, I said I was going to name my favor later. It’s not late enough yet.”

Maaya stared down her best friend as she said, “Like I said, that reeks of Minhyuk energy.”

“Oh, come on, don’t lump me in with him again,” Hyungwon whined. “Is it that bad having to hang out with me?”

“Aw, Wonnie, I’m sorry,” she said as she squeezed his bicep, forgetting all about her moratorium on their PDA. “It’s just been a minute since I had a guy’s attention.”

“You have mine,” he asserted and took her opening to kiss the top of her head.

Well, that was new. Kisses weren’t in Hyungwon’s repertoire, even if it was chaste. Maaya felt color rush to her throat and chest, so she was quick to break for her ball.

Things returned to normal after that, and despite the flirty glances and playful smiles, she found her interest in the cute stranger waning with every frame, especially when she still had that weird sensation of Hyungwon’s lips in her hair.

Beer downed and game finally over, they crashed into the uncomfortable plastic seats and stared at the board proclaiming another thrashing, although this one gave Maaya a decidedly better showing at 110 to Hyungwon’s measlier showing of 224.

“Your lessons paid off, wise master,” she said as she finally slipped off the leather shackles on her feet in favor of her much more stylish strappy shackles.

Hyungwon watched her nimble fingers clasp the buckles behind her heels as he gulped the last swig of his beer. “Mm. You broke a hundred. I’m impressed.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” he assured with a soft smile. “You’re a quick learner.”

“And you’re a good teacher. I admit it—I had a lot of fun.”

His smile broadened. “See what happens when you blindly trust me?”

“So, what now?” she probed. As Maaya mapped her best friend's face, she felt some strange, awkward twist in her stomach. This night hadn’t gone in any way she had expected, but its impending end made her throat dry.

“You mean is it cool now if you flirt with Dimples over there?”

No, that wasn’t exactly what she meant, she realized.

“I mean,” she said carefully, “if you’re not planning on calling in that favor…”

There was a gulf of silence between them filled only with the staccato tapping of Maaya’s heel. Eventually, she sighed and broke the dam. “Guess if you don’t know what you want—”

“I know what I want,” Hyungwon said firmly.

Why was his voice so low? Why was his gaze so dark?

Just then, his eyes flicked down the alley, and Maaya followed them to find the dimpled cutie approaching with his hands in his sweatpants pockets. Before he reached their lane though, Hyungwon stood up and offered his hand.

“I take it you’re calling in that favor?” she asked.

“Come with me,” was all her best friend said.

Behind Hyungwon’s towering frame, Dimples pulled up short, his confident smile fading as he watched her stand up and take her friend’s hand.

“Have a good night, buddy,” Hyungwon said as he tipped his head, now freshly dressed in his ballcap once again, at the stranger and slid his hand along the small of her back.

A shiver rippled through Maaya.

It wasn’t until they were outside the bowling alley that Hyungwon released her. Instantly, the temperature dropped ten degrees.

“Shit, it’s cold,” she grumbled as she rubbed her biceps for warmth.

“Here, you can wear my jacket,” he offered. He shucked the leather jacket from his shoulders and held it open behind her.

Maaya mumbled her thanks and slipped into it. The leather was already warm from Hyungwon’s body, and with his cologne still lingering, she felt weirdly wrapped up in him, like another hug he wouldn’t release.

They climbed back into her car, and she asked, “So, where to?”

“Back to my place.”

This was their usual pattern, yet Maaya’s fingers fumbled with the keys.

“You okay to drive?” Hyungwon asked.

“Of course,” she objected, and she was, but she wasn’t. She wasn’t anywhere near buzzed—she was just jittery. Weirdly, weirdly jittery, like three Red Bulls and a caffeine pill jittery.

The car mercifully roared to life then, and Maaya headed back toward campus. Beside her, Hyungwon vented about his midterms and the incoming subletter he was dreading taking on while he was out for the summer. His familiar lazy speech patterns inadvertently talked her off whatever ledge she was on, and once again, it was just two best friends on a night cruise.

All too soon, they reached his apartment building, and Maaya idled in the fire lane, unsure of what to do, but Hyungwon was quick to put her out of her misery. He shifted in his seat and raised an eyebrow at her. “Now, it’s time for that favor.”

His braggadocious look ruffled her feathers, and she groaned. “Aw, fuck, go ahead. Hit me.”

Whatever heinous task she figured he would foist on her went straight out the window.

“Come upstairs with me for a bit,” he said. “Like old times.”

Maaya recoiled in her seat. “How is that a favor? I hang out here all the time.”

“Not for months now. Anyway, it’s my favor, so just humor me.”

“Fine, weirdo.”

They entered his apartment, and with the way he was carrying on, Maaya half-expected some kind of surprise party or dramatic announcement, like Hyungwon was moving back to Korea or something. But it was just his usual place, if remarkably cleaner than usual. She took her seat at the end of the couch and smoothed her skirt over her slender thighs.

“Well, you got me up here, so that's the end of the favor,” she said with the smug feeling of outsmarting him. “Hope you used it wisely.”

Hyungwon was already in the kitchen, ballcap tossed on the counter and head in the refrigerator. “Want a beer?”

Her knee-jerk reaction was to say no, but something told her to take it, so she nodded. They popped the tabs in unison, and both took a long draft from their cans, each watching the other.

“Why do you keep looking me like that?” he asked.

There was nothing unusual about his tone which made the whole thing much more unusual.

“Wonnie, what am I doing here?”

“Hanging out.”

“Weren't we already hanging out?”

“Yeah.”

“I don't get it,” Maaya continued, feeling more and more suspicious by the second. “How is this a favor?”

He shrugged a shoulder, took another long drink, and then sucked the lingering brew from his plump bottom lip. “It seemed like you wanted to leave, and I still wanted to hang out.”

Maaya blinked at him. It was such an easy answer in addition to being an honest one. That was one of the things she always liked best about Hyungwon. He was a straight shooter when there weren't many of those around.

Well, it was his favor, so if that was how he wanted to squander it, it was fine with her. She loved hanging out with her best friend, now more than ever. At least it ensured she wouldn’t be doing something boring like helping him with homework or something uncomfortable like scrambling for a plus one to double-date with him—she especially hated that favor.

His sleeves were still rolled up to his shoulders, and Maaya used her beer can in combination with her bangs to help disguise her obvious staring at his toned muscles. Even when the guy was making minimum effort, he owned every room he walked into.

“Aren’t you cold?” she noted. “Your place is an icebox. What gives?”

Hyungwon shook his head. “It’s cheaper.”

“The life of a broke student, huh?”

He mumbled noncommittally before he disappeared into his bedroom and then returned with a big blue hoody. He tossed it at her, and Maaya nearly dropped her beer.

“Aw,” she whined, “I kind of like the leather.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to hear the crinkle all night long. It’s too loud in here.”

Maaya grinned just before she folded and unfolded her arms several times, delighting in the way her best friend twitched at the noisy squeal at her elbows. Hyungwon glowered at her, and with a final laugh, she traded out the jacket for the sweatshirt. It wasn’t warmed from him like she’d enjoyed in the leather, but at least it still smelled like him, this one more familiar with that same fabric refresher instead of the fancy concoction that had muddied her brain every time she’d been close to him tonight.

“Okay then,” she said, “now that you've got me up here, what are we going to do?”

“Movie?”

For some reason, Maaya was a little disappointed. They’d watched movies here hundreds of times. After all the hoopla, she realized she’d been secretly holding out for something grander.

“Yeah, okay, movie. I take it since you won, you’re picking?”

“Damn straight.”

As she settled in, Hyungwon scrounged through the cupboards for snacks and tossed them onto the coffee table before plopping down on the opposite end of the couch. He obviously had a movie in mind because he navigated straight to the action section and queued one up.

“I’ve been wanting to see this one!” Maaya trilled. “Didn’t realize it was streaming.”

“I know,” he replied before he tossed back a handful of chips and hit play.

The night was on autopilot again, and Maaya was happy. She sank into the softness of Hyungwon’s hoody and got lost in the ridiculous banter of a charming himbo muse and his reluctant artist. Before they’d even made it a half hour in, she noticed her friend staring at her instead of the screen.

“What?” she griped. “You picked the movie. I didn’t.”

“Why are you all scrunched up over there? Do I smell?”

“No!” she objected instantly. “I mean, yeah, you smell really good tonight actually. I just—”

“Okay, good. So, why are you sitting so far away? It's weird.”

It was weird. They cuddled all the time without a second thought, yet here she was, curled up in the corner like her best friend had cooties.

Maaya burrowed a little deeper into the hoody before her feet gingerly inched across his lap. Thanks to her foolish choice of skirt, her legs were cold and inescapably naked, but her friend was quick to remedy that with a blanket, though he promptly betrayed her by slipping his hand under it and rubbing her shins.

“You’re stiff as a board,” he commented. “Did you put too much effort into losing tonight?”

Maaya dug her heel into his thigh. “You’re lucky I took my shoes off, mister. Shut up and watch the movie.”

Hyungwon obliged for a few minutes, eyes on the screen and hands on her shins, but before long, his thumbs were stroking the side of her calf, and he was shifting restlessly under her. The longer it went on, the more irritated Maaya was.

“Stop it,” she warned with a glare from the corner of her eye.

“I can’t help it I’ve got long legs.”

“You’re the one who wanted me to sit like this,” she reminded.

“I want to lay down,” Hyungwon insisted, though it was a borderline whine.

“Floor’s open.”

The corner of his mouth quirked up. “Wow, you are really bitter about me decimating you.”

“Decimating? Wow. You’re cold-blooded tonight, Chae Hyungwon, not to mention awfully cocky for a guy who’s still five games back in our challenges. And anyway, maybe I’m not bitter about losing so much as I’m bitter about you yet again being my cooler.”

Hyungwon blinked, first in confusion and then exasperation. “What? With that guy at the bowling alley?”

“Uh, yeah. That was why you were taking me out tonight, remember?”

“He wasn’t your type,” Hyungwon said flippantly. His fingers were tapping rhythmically along her leg now like a librarian overseeing his domain.

“A cute boy with an even cuter smile? No, you’re right, not my scene at all."

Her best friend sighed, though it was more like a growl, and stabbed the pause button on the remote. “Why are you always rushing from one relationship to another, Maaya? I swear, you’re never single for more than five minutes."

Her brow knitted. “So?”

“So, I’m not ready to give you up again so soon.”

His hand tightened around her leg and Maaya sat up. She stared at her best friend’s profile. Hyungwon really had the most striking silhouette. He was tall and lean, with a strong neck leading down into a pronounced collar bone. In spite of his naturally pouty lips and smooth jaw, his button nose and soft cheeks made his otherworldly beauty accessible.

“You start dating that guy, and it’s goodbye for another three months,” Hyungwon continued bitterly. “Just the random meet-up at a bar every other week before you go home to Dimples while I finish my soju in silence. So I’ll start dating someone, too, just so I’m not lonely, and you’ll break up and so will I, and then it’ll start all over again. Why is it never just us, Maaya?”

Dumbfounded, her only response was to look to her hands, curled limply in her lap. That had been their pattern for years, but somehow, she’d never thought to put words to it like that.

On a whim, Maaya leaned forward and kissed her friend’s cheek, and Hyungwon snapped all of his attention to her. Their faces were closer than they’d ever been. She could smell the beer on his lips, malty and familiar. She smiled gently at him as she tugged a tress at the nape of his neck, just long enough for twirling (though she reined in that urge at the last second).

“I’m sorry, okay?” she said with every fiber of honesty in her being. “Let’s just finish the movie and have fun together. That’s my favorite anyway.”

Hyungwon smiled in the way only he could—illuminating and inviting and completely infectious. “Sounds good, but maybe not in here? I’m literally so uncomfortable.”

“I don’t see a movie theater or den lying around, Wonnie.”

“My room has a TV.”

Maaya’s stomach bubbled.

She’d been in Hyungwon’s room before, though never to watch a movie. She’d helped him choose outfits for dates or watched him game on his computer or, God help her, clean up when his parents came into town, but never to lay beside him in his bed.

She wrung her hands and tried to pretend it wasn’t nerves, but after what felt more like a date night than just a good time with a good friend, it was impossible. Those buried feelings, the ones from years ago that had sparked from the first moment she’d laid eyes on Hyungwon, had been unearthed as catastrophically as ancient ruins after an earthquake.

Maaya didn’t want to go to his bed—not because she didn’t trust her best friend, but because she didn’t trust herself.

“I’ll fall asleep in there,” she protested.

“I promise I’ll keep you awake,” he assured before he whisked off the blanket and stood up, knocking her bare legs to the floor. Hyungwon offered his hand, which she took as he pulled her upright, and this handhold felt like even more of a covenant than the one at the bowling alley. Maaya was short, but this close in his shadow, she felt impossibly tiny.

“Yeah right, you’ve never been able to last more than ten minutes awake horizontal.”

For a second, a spark ignited in his eyes. “I think my ex-girlfriends would disagree with that.”

“Gross.”

“I’m gross, am I?” he pouted, those lips of his far too full and flushed.

“Fishing for compliments now? Fine, fine, not you, and you know it, but your girlfriends sure as shit were. I don’t want to picture it.”

Hyungwon stared at her from underneath the tip of his brow. “I like to think I don’t date swamp creatures, Maaya.”

“Not in looks but definitely in personality,” she retorted.

“This from the girl who dated Vernon.”

She bark-laughed and stared pointedly at her friend. “Again with the Vernon hate? You know, only one of us dated someone who declared grades were based solely on bra cup size and a willingness to go commando under skirts.”

Hyungwon’s lips screwed up into a tight bow as the memory of his ex hit him. “Forgot about that.”

“Yeah,” said Maaya, “well, I didn’t.”

Something in his gaze shifted—deepened—as she found him peering down at her now. “No, you definitely didn’t…”

With a toss of her hair for a distraction, she shifted focus. “Okay, if you really want to lay down, we can watch in your room, but I expect you to stop distracting us from finishing the movie. I don’t want to miss when they find the lost city.”

“You just want her to hook up with the himbo,” Hyungwon challenged.

Maaya stuck out her tongue at him. “Can’t it be both?”

They headed toward the bedroom with her leading the charge because it was safer to take the initiative rather than let Hyungwon lead her. That scenario felt… different.

It was unexpectedly clean in his room. By nature, Hyungwon was not a neat boy—he always had a million more things he was interested in doing, even if most of it was just daydreaming as he stared off into space—but today, the dressers had been organized, the dust had been cleared, and even the bed had been made.

“Did Kihyun come over and clean?” Maaya teased.

Hyungwon was beside her now, surveying the space along with her. “Yeah right, like I’d let that miscreant into my room. No, it was just time to clean up.”

“You’re just full of surprises today, aren’t you?”

With only a shrug, Hyungwon dove onto his bed with a grateful sigh as his face sunk into the pillow.

“I’m home,” he murmured before he flopped onto his back and patted the bed beside him.

Maaya laughed. “I never see you happier than when you’re laying down.”

She was so distracted by his silver fillings-showcasing grin that she hadn’t realized his tee had come untucked and ridden up his tummy, revealing another little bullet point of why her best friend was the most stunning man in the world—a very cute, very edible freckle right beside his hip.

Either Hyungwon didn’t notice or he didn’t care about his shirt. Instead, he tucked his hands behind his head, letting the hem rise even higher to unearth his navel next.

“You coming?” he asked.

“Bossy,” Maaya retorted as she took a seat on the opposite side of the bed. She settled in as naturally as she could with her impossibly attractive best friend so close and let the excitement of the movie ease her fears.

Hyungwon’s mattress was ridiculously comfortable, as she should have expected from a man who would otherwise sleep 90% of his day away if he didn’t have to deal with the obligations of university and life. The longer the movie dragged on, the plusher the mattress got and the more accommodating the pillow became. Maaya sank deeper and deeper in it until, the next thing she knew, a wicked pinch in her side shot her straight up at the waist like a jack-in-the-box.

“What the hell was that!” she shouted.

Hyungwon shrugged. “You were snoring.”

“Oh my god, I was not.”

“You were. I was just fulfilling my end of the bargain. Told you I’d keep you awake.”

“Hey, smartass, you didn’t keep me awake. I fell asleep,” Maaya amended.

“So, you admit it! You know, if you were closer, I might not have had to resort to such aggression.”

She glowered at him but wriggled over all the same until their shoulders were brushing. “Happy?”

But Hyungwon closed the remaining gap so their sides were now fused to one another. With a flash of a smile, he said, “Happier.”

“You are very demanding tonight, aren’t you?”

“I am, and I demand that you snuggle me because I’m getting cold.”

“That's because you’re getting sleepy, which is exactly what I told you would happen. You always get cold when you're tired.”

“Not tired,” Hyungwon insisted through a yawn. “Just come here. I’m getting annoyed.”

She laughed. Annoying her best friend had always been a favorite pastime, and it was especially rewarding after a night of being nothing but annoyed by him first, but it paled in comparison to snuggling with him. Maaya loved that better than anything. She cuddled with him as she always had, head on his chest and arm around his waist, but this time it was different. Maybe it always had been? They were on his bed now, not the couch, and her mind was bombarded with a hundred different thoughts that she’d figured she’d long since trained herself to fight off.

“Mm,” Hyungwon murmured, “that feels good.”

Maaya hadn't even realized the hand over his waist had been stroking his side, but even more dangerously, it had found the little swath of skin between his jeans and his shirt where she could drag her nails lazily back and forth. This was different, too. Cuddling, they'd done hundreds of times; petting, they had not.

Which was why, despite what she had started, Maaya was surprised when Hyungwon’s hand curled under her and into the small of her back to start rubbing. It was chaste and definitely more respectful than her own hand, but it was new and it was wonderful. His heat was gentle and his motions hypnotic, and she slipped farther and farther under their spell.

The movie wore on, but it may as well have been in Farsi for as well as Maaya could follow along. She was focused solely on the way her best friend’s hand swept up and down her spine. The longer Hyungwon did it, the higher his hoody bunched up, taking her tank top with it. Every sweep of raw contact made her heart clench in time with her thighs until, at last, his hand stopped so it could bury itself casually under her shirt as though it was used to resting on her naked back.

He didn’t move a muscle, and she figured he’d had fallen asleep after all, but when she rolled her head on his firm pectoral, Maaya found him staring at her. He didn’t say a word, but the black cast in his gaze intensified.

“I thought you’d fallen asleep,” she fumbled.

“I couldn’t if I wanted to,” Hyungwon replied.

Maaya cleared her throat. Her fingers dug a little into his side, and he hummed again.

“Is this weird?” she asked suddenly.

“Does it feel weird?”

“No, it feels nice.”

“Good. All I want is to make you feel good.”

Hyungwon left it at that, and Maaya laid there frozen on his chest. The movie was winding toward its climax, but with every passing second they held each other, she was winding up. Scenarios swam in her head, each one more unlikely than the next, though they all ended with her sweaty and screaming his name underneath him.

“This is nice,” Hyungwon said out-of-the-blue, and to underline his point, he rubbed her back again.

Maaya didn’t answer. She couldn’t.

His hand stilled again, and after a few minutes, he shifted underneath her. She didn’t move because she was afraid to. She didn’t want to let this stolen moment go. But the end was inevitable just as the movie’s, she knew that, especially when she felt him prop up onto his elbows and crane his head forward. The TV clicked off, and the room darkened exponentially.

“You asleep?” Hyungwon whispered.

Asleep? How could she sleep with the promise of his words still buzzing in her brain?

All I want is to make you feel good…

Reluctantly, Maaya rolled a little to the side and propped up just enough to catch her best friend’s eye. Maybe there was something in her face that made him worry because his hand dropped from her back and tugged her shirt down.

“You don’t like it,” he concluded after a deep sigh. It was the most disappointed sound she’d ever heard from him.

Maaya blinked, stunned.

She liked it. She liked it way too much, more than she was probably allowed to. She liked him way too much, and it was all painfully, irreversibly apparent now.

She loved him—outright loved him. Maybe better than anyone ever.

But the weight of this knowledge was crushing. Even though tonight had felt flirty and sometimes borderline romantic, affection wasn’t anything unusual for them. The problem was that at some point in the evening, “normal friend stuff” had become “normal couple stuff” in her mind, and Maaya couldn’t un-ring that bell.

She loved Hyungwon—madly—and that was that.

Alone in his bed, with no random hot boy to distract her and no roommate to interrupt them, it was a paralyzing revelation.

“Hyungwon…” she said slowly. She wasn’t really sure what she wanted to say. All she knew was that she needed his attention.

Their eyes connected, and she felt the hand return to her back only to grip her unexpectedly.

Hyungwon sat up, too, just a bit higher, staring down at her with an unreadable gaze. Maybe he was waiting for her to finish her thought, but words had gummed up in her mouth.

Gently, he pushed her back by the shoulder until Maaya was flat on the bed looking up into his magnetic face. Everything about the way he was studying her was intense. She felt small and helpless and terrified and eager all at once. Could he read her thoughts? She felt terribly transparent, not just her mind but her heart.

Hyungwon gauged her eyes as well as her breath, and slowly, he descended.

And then his lips met hers.

Maaya couldn’t move.

Hyungwon was kissing her.

Every sense funneled to her lips where her best friend bathed them in soft kisses that grew hungrier with each passing sweep of swelling muscle. When his top lip tugged her bottom one into his mouth, she gasped and undulated beneath him, and suddenly, Hyungwon stopped.

“Do you want this? Do you want me?” His forehead touched hers as his eyes closed. His next words were a whisper, dancing across her skin. “Say yes. Please.”

Maaya wanted to ask why—was he just bored or horny or lonely—but she couldn't risk it. She didn't want him to change his mind. She didn't want to lose his touch—or him. If this was her only chance to know her best friend as a lover, she was going to take it.

“Hyungwon…” Her hands held his face as she stroked his cheek with her thumb. If she wasn’t holding him, it might have felt like she was dreaming. Softly, she continued, “I want you. I want you so much.”

He flashed a smile before he captured her lips again and entwined their tongues in a sensual embrace. His mouth was slow and measured, filled with all her favorite things about him—his gentleness, his sincerity, his creativity. Hyungwon had a way of kissing her that felt suspiciously like he was savoring her, and it made her brain fuzzy and her heart erratic.

The tip of his middle finger stroked her neck as he kissed her, igniting nerve endings Maaya didn’t know she had. Between his simple touches and his leisurely kisses, she was putty stretched thin and pliable beneath him. He could ask anything of her, and she would say yes.

But Hyungwon said nothing. The only sounds in the room were the tangle of their tongues and her airy moans as Maaya got lost in his mouth.

Though he was focused on her lips, every part of her felt like it was straining up to meet him. Her body called out for his exploration. Her nipples chafed against her bra and her stomach itched inside the fabric of her shirt while her sex throbbed against its lacy cage.

She wanted to run to the bathroom to freshen up, if nothing else to cover up how she’d soaked through her underwear from just some kissing, but what if she came back and the mood had passed? Maaya wouldn’t risk that for all her pride. Maybe it wouldn’t come to that anyway. Maybe she could—

And just like that, Hyungwon’s hand wandered up under the hoody to grope her breasts over the cups of her bra. His hands were huge and kneaded her flesh expertly until she was squirming on the mattress.

Their lips broke apart just so he could find the rim of her jaw, which he christened with a dozen hungry kisses, before he found her earlobe and nibbled it. Something about the tingle there made the room spin.

“This feels very high school,” Maaya giggled, hiding her face in the crook of her elbow.

“You don’t like it?”

“No, ah,” she gasped as he rolled a lace covered nipple between his fingers, “it feels great. It’s just very horny teenager.”

“Cut me a break,” he mumbled as he sucked a little patch just beneath her jaw. “You wouldn’t let me get near you in high school. I have to make up for lost time.”

“Wouldn’t let you—Hyungwon, you were the one who wasn’t interested—ah!”

His teeth scraped along the sensitive skin at the base of her throat, and she writhed in his hands. “Don’t argue. It’s very annoying when I’m planning to get you off.”

The next thing Maaya knew, both tops were pushed up to her shoulders, her bra cup had been wrenched down, and her nipple was in Hyungwon’s mouth. He guided her hand from its knot in the comforter to the back of his head, where she only too happily threaded her fingers through his soft hair and clasped him to her breast. With every glance of her nails against his scalp, he purred, and the vibrations rippled throughout her body straight down to her core.

Maaya looked down and found Hyungwon blissed out, eyes closed and face set so contently as his tongue worked secret magic on her. This was really her best friend—the person she trusted most in her life—consuming her bit by bit as she had only ever allowed herself to fantasize about when drunk because sober felt too impossible. She felt so special, so loved, and her heart felt so full, she thought it might burst. She arched deeper into his mouth, and he opened greedily to take more. The view was as delicious as the sensation, and it was making her feel foggier and foggier.

“Feels so good, Wonnie,” she murmured. “You feel so good.”

His only answer was to pluck her other breast from its cup so he could pinch and tug her other nipple. The pleasure doubled and sent little fireflies of ecstasy flaring throughout her body. As soon as the other peak had pebbled to a sharp ache, Hyungwon switched to it, and an ice bath of air bombarded her other abandoned nipple. Her gasp filled the room, and he smiled around her.

“Want more?” he asked, teasing—always teasing.

“Of course, you jerk. You really know—”

Maaya couldn’t even finish her sentence before his palm slithered down her soft belly to the hem of her skirt. He grabbed a handful of the offending garment and yanked it up enough to bare her thighs. His fingertips danced along the edge of her underwear, each stroke sending her breaths higher.

The back of his middle finger glanced along her clothed seam at last and beckoned forth a tremendous moan from her.

“That sounds so pretty,” Hyungwon said in the same drunk slur she'd heard at dozens of parties over the years, though she knew it had nothing to do with that last beer. “I want more, too.”

His middle finger hooked the seat of her underwear so he could have just enough play to tease her entrance, but instead, thanks to her obscene lust, he slipped right in to the knuckle. She screamed and arched, hips and all, off the bed.

“Shit! Sorry! God, Maaya, you’re so wet,” he fumbled and tried to withdraw, but her hand gripped his wrist and held him deep in her core.

“Don’t,” she begged through her heavy panting. “Don’t go. Feels too good.”

Maaya couldn’t remember ever seeing Hyungwon’s eyes absolutely black. He nodded and leaned up until their lips met in a fresh kiss. As she got lost, her hand loosened around his wrist, and once it did, no matter how distracting his kiss was, all of her attention funneled to his finger now gliding in and out between her legs. She whimpered, and his other hand tightened in her hair.

After only a couple strokes, Hyungwon added a second finger that had the woman beneath him twitching while he insisted on torturing her with deeper and deeper kisses. Maaya was mired in a haze of sensuality. She was limp with bliss and eager to receive all of his attentions for as long as he was willing to give them. The deeper his fingers delved, the harder her eyes rolled back in her head.

Her hands abandoned him to grip the bed, which felt like her only real tether to reality at this point. It wasn’t just that things felt too good—it was that Hyungwon was the one doing them to her. And, yeah, with her clothes still on and the lights down low, it all felt very stolen-moment-in-her-parents’-basement kind of naughty, but that had always been something Maaya had only dreamed of with him.

“So wet for me,” he mumbled against her lips.

“Yes,” she whined, and Hyungwon took the opportunity to storm her mouth anew with his silky tongue. Urgently, her arms wrapped around his neck to pull him flush against her, and she was rewarded with the press of his denim-encased hard-on scraping her bare thigh. She rubbed her leg against him, and Hyungwon grumbled, his fingers hooking dangerously into her greedy walls.

“I can't stop kissing you,” he mumbled between each press of her lips to his.

“I can't stop kissing you,” she volleyed right back.

For a second, they broke apart to share a little laugh but then slipped immediately back to kissing. Once again, Hyungwon pulled back, his forehead resting against hers as he caught her smoky gaze. “But I’d rather make you cum for me.”

“Huh—oh!” she managed as his tongue suddenly trailed down the column of her throat to her breast again, where he lavished her with kisses before, eventually, taking her back into the warm recess of his mouth. She lifted her head just enough to kiss his brow as he suckled, and he stopped instantly. The softness in his eyes gave way to hardness in an instant.

Newly focused, he continued kissing her torso, tonguing her navel once before nibbling at her hip bone at last. Though his fingers continued their determined thrusting, Hyungwon pulled back just long enough to place a quick kiss to her clit. It was short and sweet but just long enough to send a shockwave of lust and maybe a bit of embarrassment shivering through Maaya.

“Oh fuck, hold on,” she whimpered as goosebumps prickled along her arms and legs, “wait.”

“I’ve waited long enough,” Hyungwon replied in his gravelly voice. “I need you to cum, princess, because I don’t think I can wait any longer to be inside you.”

“Hyungwon—”

But he cut her off with his freshly licked thumb, which took immediately to polishing her aching little rosebud.

“Shit!” hissed Maaya. “Feels too good.”

She twitched on the bed, her hands grabbing for anything to anchor her against Hyungwon’s diligent onslaught. One hand reached back and closed around the top of the headboard while the other clutched her lover’s shoulder. He sucked in a breath as her nails dug in, but she couldn’t help it.

“Wonnie—oh my god!” Her voice plummeted several octaves when the pads of his questing fingers glanced over a spot so sensitive, her body curled in on itself against the pleasure. Maaya had cum before from foreplay, but this was different. She’d never felt anything so intense, and for some reason, her body wanted to run from it. She writhed beneath him, but Hyungwon’s hand pressed firmly onto her mound as the filthy wet noises crescendoed between her thighs.

“Oh god, wait,” she begged frantically, “wait!”

Hyungwon slowed but didn’t stop, his fingers idling over the center of her ecstasy. His eyes were thin and black, and his mouth, so often bright with a smile just for her, fixed in a stern line. “Do you really want me to stop?”

“No! Please, no! I’m just—”

“Don't be scared,” he said in a deep, soothing voice as his fingers picked up speed. “I want to give you this before I give you my cock. Let go for me, Maaya.”

Cock.

The word tumbling out of those swollen, nude lips was as tantalizing as the secret still confined to those painfully tight jeans. At this point, she’d do anything for it. For him.

“Oh god, yes,” she moaned, and Hyungwon kissed the inside of her thigh to seal the moment.

Faster and faster, he worked her inside and out, and her body reeled under him. Her hips bucked and her feet burrowed into the sheets and her shoulders lifted from the mattress as the most blinding climax of her life consumed her. Maaya cried out between big, hitching gulps of breath. It felt like eternity but also just a second as her body went rigid with ecstasy before she crashed back onto the bed.

Pins and needles tickled her arms and legs while streams of whimpers and half-sobs reduced her to nothing but nerves and a handful of dulled senses. She felt her lover’s fingers slip out of her, followed by an embarrassing amount of arousal, but she was too numb to will her legs to close.

Hyungwon pushed up and laid beside her, kissing her cheek and smoothing her bangs back from her face as he asked, “You okay?”

At first, Maaya was too dumbstruck by the twilight of sensations pulsing through her to respond, but all of a sudden, a laugh, small at first but growing delirious by the second, bubbled up in her throat. The next thing she knew, Hyungwon was laughing with her, too.

“So you’re good?” he asked as their laughter subsided. “I was good?”

Suddenly stone sober, Maaya rolled onto her side and looked into her best friend’s rich eyes. She put a hand on his cheek and cradled him. The urge to kiss him again overwhelmed, and she planted her lips on his. With every sweep of their mouths against one another’s, it was growing devastatingly familiar, and she knew that no matter what happened after this, she could never go back to being just friends.

Eventually, Maaya forced herself to pull back long enough to say, “You’re perfect. Best I’ve ever had.”

He smiled fleetingly before his features hardened.

Much to her dismay, he hopped off the bed, way too far away for her Hyungwon-addicted brain to tolerate. She followed to the edge and swung her legs over, too, but he shook his head.

“I’m coming back,” he promised.

“Not fast enough.”

With a chuckle, he shucked off his t-shirt, revealing a very different chest than Maaya remembered from their high school pool parties. She knew it—she’d seen evidence of it all night—but naked was a revelation. Hyungwon was lean as always, but he was broad now, too, with definition from chest to hip that made her mouth feel like cotton. His shoulders had grown knotty with muscles that flexed down into the beautiful biceps he’d been teasing all night. As her eyes devoured the tapering lines of his abs under the hem of his jeans, she spotted that tiny star of a bullseye at his hip, and nothing could keep her finger from trembling toward it.

“How is there so much about you I still don’t know?” she asked, mesmerized as she pressed that cute coffee-colored mole. Her nail scudded down from there on its new quest, and Hyungwon shivered.

“Hm?”

“The bowling? These muscles? This little freckle? I just want to eat it.” Maaya pitched forward and dragged her teeth over it to his excited hum.

Seeing so much of him naked, it reminded Maaya that she was still fully clothed. She whisked his hoody along with her shirt over her head and unclasped her bra without another thought, casting both into the corner of the room with a domesticity that delighted her. She wanted that to be her new corner, the one where she would always pile up her dirty laundry until they could trundle down to the laundromat together.

Hyungwon followed her gaze from those discarded clothes back her face. He looked pleased, and she stared back up at him adoringly. He let out a little breath and smiled. His finger hooked under her chin, and as his thumb traced over her bottom lip, she popped the button at his fly. But the moment her attention shifted back to his jeans, Maaya felt every nerve in her body vibrating with exhilaration.

It was tough rolling the denim over his hips and ass considering how they’d practically been painted on, and the suspense was slowly killing her. As soon as they were mid-thigh, Maaya dragged her palm over the straining cock in his underwear and sighed at how powerful his desire for her was. She could hear her own excited breaths even above Hyungwon’s as she traced the outline of his manhood again.

“Wow, Wonnie, you’re so hard,” she marveled, this time gripping his bulge at his base. She rubbed him a few more times before he knocked away her hands and shoved down both his jeans and his underwear, leaving him fully on display for her.

Maaya was stunned—not just by his body or his incredible cock, but by the sheer fact that, at least for tonight, Hyungwon was going to be hers. It was overwhelming. It was thrilling. It was impossible.

She gripped his thighs and savored the way his muscles contracted beneath them. Automatically, his hips bucked closer to her face, and her hand shot to his hilt so she could steady him before she swallowed his hardness, but Hyungwon jerked back, and she groaned.

“Oh, come on! Let me—”

“No,” he said firmly.

“I want to,” Maaya insisted.

“Well, I can’t.”

Before she even had time to be confused, he took her by the wrists and pulled her free of his length. He pushed her back and fell with her onto the bed with a shared grunt. She was effectively pinned beneath him, his warm chest pressed to hers. Her nipples, hard from the cool air as much as expectation, scraped against his ribs as his lips found hers again. It was their most passionate kiss yet, full of tongue and breath and the searing awareness of his cock grating the inside of her thigh.

Maaya wasn’t used to Hyungwon being so authoritative, and it made her weak.

“Wonnie—”

When he pulled up, his eyelids were low like curtains drawn on indecency. Through his ragged panting, he ordered, “Move back up to the pillows.”

“Hurry, Maaya,” he rasped. “Fuck, please.”

She had heard him tired before, cranky lots of times, and playful even more often than that, but she had never heard him desperate.

She scrambled back as instructed and lifted her hips, ready to remove the rest of her clothing, but Hyungwon shook his head again.

“Forget it,” he said. “No time.”

He tossed up the ruffle of her skirt and shoved aside the seat of her underwear again, so he could slide the head of his cock against her entrance.

“A—Already?” Maaya gasped.

“Can’t wait another second,” he said and pushed inside all the way to his base.

“Oh, fuck! Oh, Hyungwon! God, yes. Yes!”

Her legs locked behind his back, and her hands wrenched the fitted sheet off the corner of the bed as the inescapable warmth of fullness consumed her. His face nestled in the shelter of her neck as he puffed and groaned.

“Hey,” she said, reaching for his cheek, “you okay?”

“Yeah, you’re just better than I ever imagined.”

“You imagined fucking me?” she teased, though the sexiness of that notion made her walls flare around him. Hyungwon hissed.

“Yeah, and making love to you and everything in between.”

Everything shifted then.

If Maaya thought this was just an impetuous fling or fuckbuddies scenario unfolding, that illusion vanished as Hyungwon rocked forward, his length begging to settle as deep as it could go inside her. He kissed her softly again, his hand finding hers and weaving his fingers through it.

They made out like that for a while, bodies fused and desires ebbing into one another. Maaya could feel every twitch and quiver his cock made inside her. She might have been the one holding onto him, but Hyungwon had totally possessed her.

Every time he threatened to pull out, a little cry escaped her. Her body fought to hold onto him for as long as it could—for forever. Her core constricted hungrily, and he snarled.

“Don’t do that,” he warned against her lips.

“What?”

“I’m really trying to last here, but you’re making it so hard, princess.”

“Can’t help it. Feels so right.”

Hyungwon grunted and kissed Maaya in time with his faster strokes. It was messy and feral and so frenzied that they were both gasping for breath in between, but it was all she’d ever wanted. Her legs fell wide open now, her invitation for him to use her as much as he could, and he didn’t miss his chance.

Hyungwon lifted off her, and her whole body froze where his sweaty skin had once been ironed. One of his hands grabbed her breast and the other clamped to her waist so he could rut frantically into her.

Maaya might have been limp on the mattress, paralyzed by pleasure and mesmerized by bliss, but it made it all the easier to catalogue every intimate detail of the man above her. The smoothness of his thrusts, the possession in his grip, the intensity in his eyes as his lips pressed together in exertion. Hyungwon was flawless, and she was so very lucky.

He tugged her hips higher onto his thighs to work her deeper and deeper, and it fueled the vision-whitening blaze in her belly.

“Need you, Wonnie,” she pleaded. “So close.”

She gripped his hand at her chest and held on for dear life, which sent him tumbling back onto her. He pushed her one leg back, deepening the fold at her belly, and he shifted so good inside her, that Maaya moaned loud enough to rattle the mirror propped on his dresser.

The room was perfumed with sweat and sex and pheromones that clouded out the world beyond the two of them and knotted them tighter together. Her hands were everywhere now—in his hair, on his neck, around his back. As deep as he was inside her, she wanted him closer. She wanted him always.

“So tight,” Hyungwon hissed next to her ear. “Please cum. Cum for me. Wanna feel you cum on my cock.”

There it was, the cocktail of sinful words Maaya thought she’d never hear from him. Coupled with the crush of his hips against her sex and the hot velvet of his length stoking the fire inside her, she unwound.

It was the quietest climax of her life, not because it wasn’t good but because it had never been better. Maaya was overcome—with lust, with happiness.

With love.

She rose up beneath him, muscles rigid with the electricity of release. Her walls seized around him as she hiccupped out pathetic gasps. Her hands shot to the pillows and crumpled the feathers as she convulsed with the never-ending shockwaves of release.

When at last she came down, Maaya lay there, body thumping up the mattress with Hyungwon’s every energetic thrust. It might have been through fuzzy, hooded eyes, but she watched the rivulets of sweat trickle from his brow to his jaw as the skin there furrowed with his panicked exertion. His fat lips twitched, and the cords in his throat tightened as he whined low and desperate into her shoulder.

“I’m gonna— I’m gonna—”

He whimpered against her throat as his hips skipped irregularly now. Maaya knew what was coming. In her shell of a voice, she asked, “Look at me, Wonnie.”

His eyes met hers for a mere second before they shot down between her legs.

“Oh god!” he cried as he pulled out and showered her skin and lace in hot pearl. He tried his hardest to meet her gaze again, but in the throes of climax, his eyes rolled back just before they screwed shut. His lips curled into the most luscious snarl as a wretched whine echoed in the bedroom. It had to be the sexiest fucking thing Maaya had ever heard in her life.

Hyungwon was still pumping his dick and cumming as she tilted his chin up and devoured that snarl along with every gasp and twitch of oversensitivity.

A moment later, he was too drained to do anything but heave with breath. He laid on top of her, face in the hollow of her throat, sealing them together with a lacquer of sweat and cum. She could feel a tear welling at the corner of her nose, and she blinked hard and fast to hide it, but it was no use.

“Did I hurt you? Shit, I’m so sorry,” Hyungwon worried frantically as his thumb blotted the trail down her cheek. He rushed to lift himself off her, but Maaya gripped his forearms and shook her head frantically.

“No, not at all.”

“You regret it, don’t you?” he realized, his whole body deflating before her eyes as he sank into the mattress beside her. “I shouldn’t have risked us. Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“Hyungwon, no,” Maaya said firmly. “Don’t you dare be sorry.”

He swallowed hard. “It’s just—you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“All night, huh?” she laughed awkwardly.

“Mm, more like since high school.”

“You’re full of it. Like you’d wait that long.”

Hyungwon pressed his lips together as he considered. “Seriously. But you were always dating someone, and by the time I’d give up and settle for someone comfortable, you’d break up and I’d be committed. Luck was never on my side.”

“Baloney,” she scoffed.

He thrust out his hand in front of him and counted off: “Vernon? Mandy. Eric? Yuji. Jongin? Beth. Henry? Haeun.”

Maaya stared up at the ceiling. She’d given up any hope of Hyungwon ages ago, assuming they’d only ever be friends, and maybe that seesaw of relationships was why, even if she’d never actively thought about it.

“Huh,” she said, surprised.

“Exactly. Huh. I wasn’t about to let you hop into something new before I had my one chance.”

Maaya drew patterns on his taut stomach as she mused, doing a terrible job of hiding her schoolgirl smile. “Hmm. I like confident, determined pro-bowler Hyungwon.”

“Wait until you meet doting, sex-crazed boyfriend Hyungwon.”

Her eyes shot up to his. “Boyfriend?”

“Did I jump the gun? Shit, I’m skipping all the logical steps tonight. I don’t even know what you want. That’s just what I want.”

“You want to be my boyfriend?”

“More than anything,” he asserted. “Why do you think I had this whole dumb plan where I would show you what it would be like, and maybe you’d like it? I just never thought you’d ever take an interest in anyone there.”

“I knew it!” Maaya shouted as she pointed her finger squarely in Hyungwon’s face, any awkwardness forgotten in her burst of vindication. “It is just boomers and geezers there!”

“It was supposed to be…” Hyungwon grumbled.

She laughed and threw her arm over his waist and nuzzled her cheek to his pec. It was sticky, but she liked being stuck to him. “Wonnie, I haven’t thought about that guy since the second you kissed my head. It’s really hard to think about anyone else when you touch me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Why do you think I have to put so much distance between us when I’m dating someone else? I can’t help it. You take over everything.”

His fingers danced along her spine as he hummed contentedly. “Then I guess I’m always going to have to touch you.”

“Oh god,” laughed Maaya with a roll of her eyes. “Don’t go suffocating me now. You won’t need to. I’m hopelessly addicted.”

“Are you?” Hyungwon asked as he snuggled deeper.

She blushed and hid her face against his side. Half of her was shouting at herself to shut up, but the other half, the louder one, said, Say it. Just say it.

Maaya took a deep breath and held it until her lungs started to burn.

Keep it in. Keep it in.

Nope.

“I loved it. I— I— I love you, Wonnie.”

She pulled the pillow over her face, but Hyungwon forced it away to stare at her. His beautiful face filled her whole world, and she felt more exposed than ever. A fresh tear perked at the corner of her eye, and before she could catch it, it slipped down her cheek.

“Oh god,” she mumbled, but Hyungwon wiped it away with his thumb as he mapped her expression.

“Hey. Hey. I love you, too, okay? Always have, and if you let me, always will. Would have told you that ages ago if it weren’t for that stupid Vernon.”

She belted out a laugh as she clutched his full cheeks in her hands. “Okay, I get it now, I do.”

“Finally.”

This time when Hyungwon kissed her, Maaya opened herself up and let him in in a way she’d never dared before. Her arms spooled around his neck and brought him flush against her, and she purred against him. This was love, and it was hers. Finally.

When he pulled back at last, Hyungwon asked, “Told you I was in the mood for a win tonight.”

“Har har,” she quipped. “Yes, you really have perfect game.”

“Your puns are terrible,” he retorted.

“You love it.”

“I love you,” Hyungwon clarified and kissed the tip of Maaya’s nose.

“So, what do you say to a shower?” she asked.

“Depends. You going to keep your hands to yourself?”

Maaya smirked. “Not on your life.”

Hyungwon was out of bed in an instant. There was that hand again, always waiting for her to take it, and she didn’t hesitate this time. She’d never seen him happier, even four strikes into their game. “In that case…”

#monsta x smut #hyungwon smut #friends to lovers #romance #oneshot #hyungwon #insert i'm going to give me everything i want meme

122 notes · View notes

sscoutregimentss · 3 years

Text

i know we as a collective society believe in gamer! eren supremacy. and yes, this is a good take. however, may i introduce to you: normie/fuckboy/jock eren with gamer/nerd gf. thoughts under the cut (safe for work, pg-13, also slight snk spoilers for season 3 and up!)

see, eren isnt necessarily a fuckboy. in fact, hes very loyal! he doesnt really think that way about any girls or guys except you. but hes popular romantically and had a reputation for sleeping around before he met you (not that theres anything wrong with that but ya know word travels fast across campus). plus, cmon the dude is in a frat, super hot and has a tongue piercing. he cant blame anyone for thinking he is a fuckboy bc he exudes the energy.

you are kind of the complete opposite. you dont really enjoy parties and you keep to yourself. you're a total wreck when it comes to flirting and your kinda oblivious to whenever people like you. you dont have many friends and are a bigger fan of 2d people than 3d.

either way eren finds you so so so cute. he first approached you at one of his frat parties. your roommates convinced you to come after she said that someone (read: connie) had a dance dance revolution mat, but you kinda just stuck around in a corner staring at your cup once you lost them. he looks you up and down-- your outfit was pretty cute, a short plaid orange pleated skirt, dress shirt, orange cardigan and black beret laying neatly upon your head. and your face... he couldn't help himself but try to talk to you. you were really anxious because wahhh scary sports guy you dont know but he was kinda instantly comforting? in a way? and he was freaking pretty. he looked like a final fantasy character--long haired characters were your type. the rest was kind of history.

a lot of people are shocked when they find out your dating bc you two are so different (some people are surprise eren “dates” at all) but no one dares question your relationship when they see how much eren dotes on you. he has so many polaroids of you in his wallet-- from the many arcade dates you bring him on where you decimate him at almost every game, you awkwardly posing in the hentai section of bookstores, or just candids of you being intensely focused on a puzzle in a game. whenever you guys go out to eat and somethings wrong with your meal, he'll send it back (in a polite way, of course, but hes still assertive.) or if you buy like a figurine and its misisng something hes marching up to the cashier stand for you. he always has an arm around your waist or is holding is hand in yours. sometimes you just cling onto his arm and rest your head on it (hes comfy!!!!! and you are always tired) your both pretty clingy, but you get kinda awkward when you two are around people you know so he just kinda subtly holds you as to not make a scene. its nice. hes comfy.

youve got dual monitors, a pc you made yourself, rgb keyboard, the whole nine yards. all your consoles are up to date and you keep a handheld system on you at all times. you spend most your weekends watching anime and movies and tv shows and your shelves are piled high with books and comic books. eren literally does not understand any of it. when you told him you built your pc he goes "you made all those microchippy things? youre soooo smart babe". when you talk about some of your weirder or more complicated animes he nods along but honestly he gets so lost ("so like, lemme get this straight, the kids dad's wife ate his mom?" "yeah but like she was turned into a titan so she didn't realllllly know it was the dads wife, but like she literally walks past this titan shifter so i think she knew." "thats crazy.") and he will never understand the point of otome games when hes literally right there. he actually has a really bad habit of getting jealous of characters you have a crush on but you just find it funny. sometimes he gets an ego boost when they look like him because even if they look like him he is actually real so they can suck it.

hes rlly supportive tho. erens a rlly passionate person and he loves you a lot so he pours a lot of passion into what you do. if you are into esports/fps games hes cheers you on all the time and does all the raging for you ("BABE THAT GUY IS STREAM SNIPING! HES STREAM SNIPING YOU HEY ASSHOLE STOP CHEATING OFF MY GIRLFRIEND" "eren he cant stream snipe me because i dont stream" "oh i thought that just meant cheating"/"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HER?" "eren its okay i can just report him" "NO NO LET ME AT HIM IF HE WANTS TO CALL YOU A BITCH I CAN CALL HIM MUCH WORSE" "um guys im gonna mute my mic for a second if you need me text chat") if youre into cozy games he likes to watch you play and gives you ideas on where to put things. like in minecraft he makes you put a second bed for him even though he doesnt play and he helps you name all your pets. you get a little less intense with cozy games so you sit on his lap and he lets his hair down puts his head on your shoulder and points at where you should place stuff. he still rages though? this is eren jaeger we are talking about. ("aw, she wont move to my island." "WHAT? who does that little ugly squirrel think she is? you think youre too good for MY y/n's island? i'll shave your unibrow off. then we'll see what island will want you" "leave hazel alone! shes cute!"/"dude that hamster guy with the glasses looks like armin" "graham? what? armin doesnt even wear glasses" "no no look at it more" "oh shit youre right") rpgs/otome games are kinda a wild card with how he acts. if its an otome game and the character looks like him he is more into helping you out because it reaffirms to him that you find him good looking but otherwise he is just sulking and calling them annoying ("princess y/n... i know im just a servant, but i want to be with you forever!" "pft. get a load of this guy. clingy much?" "its romantic! youre jealous.")

one of his favorite things to do with you is cuddle and watch anime. usually he lies his face on your thighs or chest while watching and you play with his hair or he holds you in his chest and you play with one of his hands while the other goes behind his head. he grew up on some of the classics like naruto sailor moon one piece pokemon and dbz but he never got super into it until he started dating you. you put him on to soooo many good shows (cartoons, anime, and live action) hes both a crier and he is a get-angrier(?). he gets mad on characters behalfs and you have to pause the show so he can rant about how annoying someone is or he feels so bad for someone so he has to take a minute because hes tearing up. he likes slice of life anime because the friendships <3 theyre so wholesome and they remind him of him armin and mikasa but he also likes shounen because it is entertaining to watch fights. he gets really into them actually. he also has this really bad habit of whenever there is a character with no parents or a dead mom he goes "oh same" or "welcome to the club buddy" under his breath. when theres a cute couple in an anime you both like guys get matching keychains of them unless one of them dies because he thinks its bad luck. his favorite animes are haikyuu, your lie in april and code geass.

you are equally supportive of erens volleyball career. you know all the rules because sports anime and you actually find yourself really liking it in 3d as well (it is lacking in bromance and screaming but you let it slide). you go to all his games and he always texts you before his practices. has a habit of kissing you before games and one day after he kisses you go "gg ez win" as a JOKE but then they like decimate their long time rival marley university and get into nationals (is that a thing for volleyball idk sports) so hes convinced its because you did your "gamer magic". now every time after getting his good luck kiss he interlocks your pinkies and you go "gg ez win" and he goes “yes.” because to this day he doesnt know what it means (he thinks googling it is like breaking the magic)

okay im gonna stop while im ahead BECAUSE I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY I MIGHT JUST GO AHEAD AND WRITE SOME ONESHOTS....

173 notes · View notes

idy-ll-ique · 3 years

Text

Voices.

Pairing: Chris Evans x F!Reader

Genre: nothing but floofy-floof

Warnings: none

Requested: nope

Summary: in which you can hear the voice of your soulmate in your head and Y/N's soulmate is someone really special— her celebrity crush.

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! do y'all know how long ago I wrote this fic, like— at least 2 years ago. damn. so in advance, im sorry if there are any grammatical mistakes or bad punctuation in the fic that I forgot to correct (apology for bad english 😌)

oh and

bold/italics - chris

only italics - y/n

---

Hey, you still there?

Y/N snapped out of a trance and focused on the voice. Yeah, yeah I'm still there, she thought to herself. She was hearing the voice of her soulmate, or rather, was speaking to him, telepathically. The thing is, you could hear the voice of your soulmate in your head. You could talk, hold conversations, but the only thing was that you couldn't ask for their name.

You had to guess. Most of the people made plans, like let's meet here or there and concentrate hard enough, I'll see your name written on a paper. It was a thing, I mean, if you concentrated hard enough, you could see what your soulmate was doing. It was like a cheat code of sorts. Most of them found their soulmate in that way.

You see, Y/N loved surprises, so she wasn't going to find her soulmate just yet. Y/N wanted to figure it out for herself. Your soulmate couldn't hear every single one of your thoughts, though (which was how she had zoned out mid-conversation). Listen, we should meet up sometime.

Aw, already? she thought with a pout on her lips. Yes, I'm very excited to meet you, I've been waiting for too long, the voice replied, chuckling. It was a manly voice, really deep and raspy. She loved it. When Y/N was small, about 4-5 years old, all she could hear were swear words and dirty thoughts; characteristics of a teenage boy.

From that, she inferred, that soulmate was much older than her, about 8-9 years older than her. She didn't mind, She was kind of into older guys anyway… But I like this game we have! Why do you want to ruin it? she asked, shaking her head. Alright, sweetheart, just for you, I'm holding back. But I don't have much patience, the voice laughed. Y/N smiled.

Without even meeting her, Chris loved the voice in his head. She sounded so sweet and welcoming, maybe she was younger than him. He couldn't wait to meet her. Chris had tried to plan their meeting for so long now, but she just wouldn't give in. She was also a feisty one. He smiled to himself as he walked down the street, engaged in thoughts about his soulmate.

In his haste, he accidentally bumped into someone. "I'm so sorry!" he blurted out, instead hearing a soft ouch, shit in his head. His brows furrowed. The lady he had bumped into just kept on walking. Are you alright? he asked his soulmate in his mind. Yeah, just bumped into someone while walking.

I bumped into someone just now too! he told her excitedly, still staring at the lady who had now stopped in her tracks. She turned around, scanning the crowd. Then she looked at him, but maybe she didn't realize that she had bumped into him. Holy shit, I see— Then it all went blank. See what? Chris questioned desperately.

He still wasn't sure whether the woman he had just bumped into was his soulmate or not.

Why can't I say the name of the guy who played the role of Captain America?

Chris froze and stared at the lady, jaw dropped. She was lost in her thoughts, confused. He slowly walked to her and stood in front of her; she stared back at him, her heart racing. This was her celebrity crush, who was currently looking at her as if she hung the moon. But why? Why was he looking at her like that?

"You can't say his name because that's me, you technically can't say his name because you aren't allowed to," Chris whispered to her, smiling softly. Her eyes widened.

"You! You're the voice I hear in my mind! Chris freaking Evans is my soulmate?! How did I not realize?!" The woman exclaimed, shocked. Soon though, she got a wide smile on her face. His eyes widened too, hers was the voice he heard as well! "What's your name?" he asked her as they hugged. "I'm Y/N Y/L/N," she replied, smiling.

"Wanna join me for a coffee?" he offered, holding his hand out. She put her palm on top of his and nodded. Both of them entered a nearby coffee shop. "So, what do you do?" he asked her after ordering two coffees. "Nothing. I'm unemployed right now, just got out of my last job. I gave an interview yesterday at Ralph Lauren, just waiting for a call back," she shrugged.

"Oh, into fashion?" he asked her, smiling. "Yeah, got my degree and all. Just needed a job, Ralph Lauren offers a good amount of money," she chuckled. Chris smiled again. "Reminds me of Rachel Green." She laughed more, which warmed his heart. Her laugh was adorable. Suddenly, her phone rang and she looked at him, wide-eyed.

He nodded dismissively and she picked up the call. She spoke for a while and when she ended the call, she had the biggest smile on her face.

"I got the job at Ralph Lauren, I'm starting tomorrow!" Y/N squealed. They couldn't have picked a better timing. "Congratulations, Y/N!" he told her, grinning. After spending some more time at the cafe, they parted ways. She went home while he went back to the sets where they were filming Avengers: Age of Ultron.

"Hi Chris, you were out for a long time, what's up?" Chris Hemsworth asked, smiling at Chris Evans as they stumbled upon each other. "Nothing, just met my soulmate, had a cup of coffee with her." The older Chris feigned nonchalance. "You what?! That's awesome, man! So, how is she, what does she do?" Hemsworth asked him excitedly as both of them walked inside.

Robert and Scarlett were there, talking. "She's so beautiful, I stopped functioning when I saw her. She works at Ralph Lauren, she's a fashion designer," Chris told him with a smile. Robert and Scarlett looked up. "Who?" Scarlett questioned. "Y/N," he said simply, sitting beside Robert. "Who's that?" Robert inquired. "My soulmate." Chris smiled, as if in a trance.

"Boy, you look like you're in love," Scarlett laughed. "Because I am, she's that beautiful," he told her adamantly. "Whoa, did you ask her out?" Robert snorted. "I'm back from our first date." We had our first date right now, didn't we? he asked her in his mind.

Of course we did, I loved it. Hope to meet you again soon, her voice replied and he could practically feel her smile.

Sure, I'm in town for a few more months, I'll mind-text you as to when I'm free, he told her, sporting a smile on his face. She outright laughed in the comfort of her own home. Mind-text? Sounds fun, she agreed and focused on the Netflix series she was watching, turning off the "magical telepathic link" between them.

Chris, too, focused on the others only to see them smiling at him. "Talking to her?" He nodded at Scarlett. A few minutes later, all of them went to another room to begin with the shooting of a new scene.

---

Y/N danced as she prepared dinner, singing along to You Don't Know Me by Jax Jones. It had been a month since she last saw Chris. He had promised her a date, but he didn't get time. She couldn't blame him, he was a busy man. Y/N was shouting the lyrics of the song in her head, unaware of the fact that Chris was snooping in on her mind.

Hey, calm down, she heard Chris chuckling in her mind and shrieked in real life. What are you— are you snooping on my mind? Chris! she thought, scandalized. He laughed more. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I wanted to ask you out. Are you free right now? We could meet in the same coffee shop, he asked. She grinned and nodded to herself. Of course, I'll be there in 15.

She quickly got dressed, wearing a pair of track pants and a t-shirt (like she was wearing on their first date). She didn't bother with her hair or makeup, it looked good anyway, she just bolted out of the house. Y/N entered the coffee shop to see Chris already sitting there, wearing a suit. She cursed herself mentally, making Chris look up.

He stifled a laugh. She went and sat in front of him.

"I'm so sorry I look like a single mother of two kids who hasn't slept in a year," she moaned, "I didn't know you were gonna show up in a suit." She facepalmed for good measure. "It's quite alright, you look beautiful. I wouldn't have you any other way, I should say. I'm coming back from a party right now, therefore the suit."

She blushed softly at his compliment. He ordered two coffees for them and they started talking. "So, how's your job at Ralph Lauren?" Chris asked, smiling at her. "It's amazing, I got promoted. Now I'm the head of the department, with my own office and all," she told him, smiling back. "That's great! Oh, congratulations, honey," he grinned.

"Thanks," she muttered, blushing slightly when he called her a nickname. "You look cute while blushing, has anyone ever told you that?" Chris winked as their coffees arrived. "No one, ever. I don't interact with people much, it's a tedious job," she half-joked, smiling.

"Really! So who are the people you talk to?" he joined in. "Well, there's my assistant, my mother, my bro and you. That's all. I've got some friends, but I rarely talk to them, only on the phone while texting, that is," she shrugged. "Nice, nice," he nodded as they finished their coffees. "Allow me to drop you home," Chris offered, taking out a key which she found out was for his bike as they left the café.

"No it's alright, I'll go," she refused immediately. "Nonsense, you're practically my girlfriend! I'm going with ya," he shook his head. They looked like an odd couple; one wearing a suit while the other looked like she had just woken up. Surprisingly enough, the one who looked like she just woken up had the best fashion sense among them. "Hop on," Chris grinned.

She sat down behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist. Both of them chatted for the 2 minutes that took them to get to Y/N's home. Once they reached her building, she got down from Chris's bike and turned to him.

"Thanks, Chris, this has been an amazing second date. Can't wait for the third," she told him with a smile. "Me too," he smiled back. A few seconds later, she turned to leave but Chris suddenly grabbed her hand, turning her around. "Wha—" She didn't get to finish her sentence as Chris pressed his lips to hers. She kissed back, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I just had to, sweetheart," he panted as they pulled away from each other, breathless. "Wow," she breathed out as Chris rested his forehead against hers. "So, um, see you on the third date, yeah?" Y/N giggled as they stepped away from one another, smiling. "I'll make it as quick as possible. Can't stay away from you, darling," he winked.

"How flattering," she winked back and turned to leave, purposely adding a sway to her hips knowing that he was watching. And fuck, was he watching. "Oh, the things you do to me, my dear Y/N."

"I heard that!"

"Good!"

---

A/N: Thanks for reading, leave a like if you enjoyed!

#chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x female reader #chris evans characters #steve rogers x reader #captain america #ransom drysdale x reader #knives out #andy barber x reader #defending jacob #disney #mcu #marvel #avengers #fanfic #writing #writeblr

197 notes · View notes

nhlandotherimagines · 4 years

Text

Since When? -Matthew Tkachuk X Fem!Reader

This is approximately 11.2k words of a friends-to-lovers rollercoaster of emotions! I hope you all enjoy! I hope you all enjoy it! @anastasiyaigorevnadobrodevskaya @jonnytoews19 @puckbitchesgetmoney @glassdanse @suzukick

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of nudity, implied sexual acts, angst, negative self talk, “unrequited” love, drinking, also some fluff as well. Please let me know if I missed anything!

In case you don’t know: Y/n: your name, Y/l/n: your last name, and Y/n/n: your nickname (can be replaced with your name if you do not have a nickname of course)

flashbacks are in italics :)

———

“Y/n, this is Macy. Macy, this is Y/n.” Matthew introduces you to the blonde girl he’s been talking about for weeks. She is so much prettier than you could have ever imagined. Beautiful blonde hair, flawless tanned skin, and her legs went on for miles. You shake the thoughts from your head a large grin taking over your own face.

“Oh how formal of you Matthew,” you say mockingly. “Please call me Y/n/n, and despite how Matty here is acting you have no reasons to be nervous. He talks about you all the time, I like you already!” You beam with a wink. Matt’s ears and neck burn red in embarrassment, as you and Macy giggle.

“I could say the same about you y/n/n!” Your stomach twists a little at that, what could Matthew possibly have told her? You and him have been friends for years. Best friends. You live across the hall from him now. When you moved to Calgary he insisted you moved into his apartment, but you know he would never take a girl home with you around all the time. If you are being truly honest with yourself, it has more to do with the fact that you don’t want to think about Matthew with other girls.

Yet here you are, standing in front of his new girlfriend, who could be supermodel. “Would you like to get a drink Macy? Let Matthew go talk boring old sports stuff with his jock friends.” Macy giggles at your request, but agrees quickly placing a kiss on Matthew’s cheek.

————

“Thank you for this. Matt’s been really weird about me meeting you, and I was worried you were going to hate me.” Macy’s smile falters a little when she says this, causing you to choke a little on your drink.

“Wow! He must have made me seem like a total bitch! Sounds like him really. I guess he knows I want whoever he’s with to be perfect for him, but he doesn’t understand that as long as he’s happy and that girl isn’t just a gold digger than I’m happy too.” You knock her shoulder playfully with yours, “He seems very happy with you, and for the record I think you’re really cool.”

The two of you sit in silence for a moment, before Macy speaks again. “So how did you and Matt become friends?”

“It’s a long story, are you sure you want to hear it?” You chuckle, as she nods excitedly.

“Y/n l/n?” The teacher reads out your name.

“Present!” You beam from your spot at the front of the class hand in the air. You hear a few chuckles from behind you, and lower your hand slowly slumping into your chair.

“Matthew Tkachuk?” The teacher continues, after giving you a sympathetic smile.

“That would be me!” His voice causes your eyes to snap to the door. He’s beautiful and chaotic. Bright blue eyes, messy curls, a little smirk, and a cute little dimple to tie it all together.

“Mr. Tkachuk, being late on the first day isn’t the best first impression. Please don’t make a habit of it.” The teacher scolds lightly.

“Sorry, I won’t.” He smiles sheepishly, as he places his backpack on the chair beside yours. “Okay if I sit here?” He looks at you expectantly.

Unable to find your words you nod. He sits down, and smiles at you. “I’m Matthew.” He adds sticking his hand out for you. You take it, face burning red.

“Uh- I’m y/n.” You stutter out. More snickers coming from the seats behind you. Immediately you pull your hand away and stare down at your lap, tears burning your eyes. It was your first day of highschool, and already you weren’t fitting in.

“Well y/n, can I call you y/n/n?” He asks quickly, but doesn’t bother to wait for a response, “Want to eat lunch with me? It being the first day and all I’m trying to make friends. What do you say?”

“Okay.” You reply, and smile up at him. No longer feeling as shy.

So you did eat lunch together that day. And every day after that. You became best friends almost immediately. After a couple weeks, you met his family and fit in well with all of them. Matthew fit just as perfectly in your life. You studied together, you went and watched his games, you did everything together.

It was so easy to be with Matthew, so when he got drafted to the Flames your decision was easy. You immediately applied to the University of Calgary.

“And we’ve been friends forever it feels like.” You smile at her.

“So you guys dated in highschool?” She asks, but it sounds more like a statement than a question. Your eyes nearly popped out of your skull at that.

“No way! Matt and I are only friends, that’s all we’ve ever been, and we are both VERY okay with that.” You cringe to yourself at how awkward you sound, trying to convince her what you were saying was true. And it mostly was, aside from the fact that part of you wanted more, and still do.

“Seriously? Not even like one date?” You shake your head, “not one awkward game of spin the bottle?” Again you shake your head, “not even a drunk hookup?” At that you laugh, and take another swig of your drink.

“I’m being honest Macy. The closest to any of that Matt and I ever had was my seventeenth birthday.” You shudder at the memory, “Neither of us enjoyed that.”

Macy’s face lit up at that. “Well now you have to tell me!”

You are standing in front of your bedroom mirror getting ready for your birthday party. People would be showing up in about an hour, your mom is in the kitchen finishing the cake, your dad cleaning the barbecue, your siblings at friends houses, and here you are standing mostly naked in front of the mirror. Admiring the brand new navy blue lingerie set you just bought, your very first set. You feel really sexy, for the first time ever, which at seventeen is a big deal.

You aren’t sure how long you’ve been standing there, when the door opens, but you are too zoned out to even notice as you run your fingers along the lace resting on your hips. “Oh fuck!”

As soon as you hear his voice you turn towards the door and do your best to cover your exposed body.

“MATTHEW JESUS CHRIST GET OUT!” You scream at him, tears blurring your vision. He mutters an apology as he quickly exits your room.

You cry for awhile, the embarrassment making you not want to get off your floor. However, you do eventually, and change into the dress your mother bought specifically for your party. It was black, and much more mature than your mother would have ever let you wear before, or maybe it’s because you yourself look more mature. Who knows? All you know is that you don’t want to face Matthew.

It turns out that you don’t have to. Matthew doesn’t show up for the party. Brady does though, telling you he isn’t sure what happened, but Matthew isn’t feeling well. You know why though. He was repulsed.

You cry yourself to sleep after everyone leaves. Even going as far as throwing out the set of lingerie, unable to look at it anymore.

You thought you lost him that day. Thankfully though, the following Monday it was like nothing happened. Neither of you bring it up again.

“Wow! He never mentioned it?” She laughs in astonishment.

“Not once! I think he’s forgotten really. It’s not like there was really much to see anyway.” You go back and forth like that all night, sharing stories, buying each other drinks, dancing together. It is perfect.

Across the bar Matthew smiles to himself, watching the two of you getting along so well.

“Dude I told you they’d get along!” Noah Hanifin says slapping a hand over Matthew’s shoulder. He doesn’t hear him come over to where he stood leaning against the bar watching you and Macy dancing together, so it startled him at first.

“I knew they probably would, it’s just if they didn’t,” Matthew stops for a moment staring down at his drink. “I wouldn’t be able to choose.”

“Why would you have to choose?” Noah doesn’t get it, and Matthew isn’t sure the answer really.

“Every time I’ve been seeing a girl they always get weird once they finally meet y/n. Most of them just can’t handle the fact I’m so close to a girl.” He shrugs, and Noah sends him a knowing smile.

“So you’ve never told me, were the two of you ever a thing?” Noah asks, taking a drink of the beer in his hand.

Matthew throws his head back laughing loudly. “Seriously Hanifin? You’ve met the two of us right? We have been friends forever. Nothing else.”

“You’ve never even just hooked up? I don’t know, you two just fit so well together I assumed you would have tried it out at least once.” Noah shrugs.

“No way!” Matthew chuckles awkwardly, wanting the conversation to end.

As the two friends lean against the bar in silence, his eyes fall on you. You’re wearing a cute little black dress similar to the one you’d worn the day he thought he’d lost you.

It is your birthday, and Matthew can’t wait to give you the present he bought you weeks ago. It is a miracle he kept it a secret this long. Sure your party isn’t for another hour or so, but he can at least help everyone get ready. That way he can give you your present sooner, and without the prying eyes of your mutual friends.

So here he was walking up to your front door, the little velvet box tucked inside his backpack. Inside it a beautiful gold necklace, the pendant a simple letter ‘M’. Sure, maybe it was cheesy, but you love cheesy. As for Matthew he loves seeing you happy, and he loves you.

“Hey Matthew honey! Y/n is in her room.” Your mother greets him as he comes through the front door. He exchanges a quick hello and starts up the stairs to your room.

Matthew takes a shaky breath, trying to steady his breathing. His heart is racing, why is he so nervous? He tries to convince himself it is just because he wants you to like the gift and not because he has feelings for you. When he finally pushes open your door though, all of the air he had just tried to hold onto, leaves his body immediately. There you are. Standing in front of your mirror, back to him. Your hair curled loosely, and wearing nothing but a set of navy blue lingerie. Matthew is frozen, unable to speak. His eyes rake over your body, even though he knows it is wrong. You look good. So good in fact, Matthew’s pants have tightened considerably since he stepped through your door.

“Oh fuck!” He groans, eyes widening as he finally realizes the gravity of the situation. He watches you spin around, horror and embarrassment clear on your face.

“MATTHEW JESUS CHRIST GET OUT!” You yell, you sound so angry to Matthew. He is immediately embarrassed. Embarrassed to be caught, but mostly embarrassed by the affect you have on him.

Matthew runs home. He pleads with Brady to just put his name on the gift he is bringing, and to let you know he isn’t feeling well. The truth is, he doesn’t feel well. He is scared. Scared everything has to change. The two of you don’t talk all weekend, but maybe Matthew stalks your Instagram to make sure you have a good birthday.

However, the following Monday the two of you fall back into your normal routine. The incident is never brought up again, aside from in Matthew’s dreams that is.

Matthew shakes his head, trying to physically rid it of the memory. He smiles sadly down at his drink knowing that the necklace he bought you that year now sits safely in a box on the top shelf of his closet. He never got to give it to you.

“What ‘cha thinkin’ ‘bout space cadet?” You grin up at him. He smiles back at you, and throws his arm around your shoulder. Subconsciously he scans the room for Macy. “Chill out Matty she’s in the bathroom. You looking to dip on me already? I mean how can I blame you? If I got to go home with someone THAT hot I’d be leaving as soon as I could.”

“I’m not trying to dip!” He shoots back in defence.

“Okay! Okay! Cool it Chucky! I’m just teasing. I like her a lot! Why were you so worried?” You wrap an arm around his waist as he pulls you tighter into his side.

“Dunno. I guess your opinion is kind of important to me. Wouldn’t wanna displease my sidekick.” He smirks down at you.

“Oh please! If anyone is the sidekick here it’s you Tkachuk! Know your place.” You tease, as Macy finds her way over to the two of you. “He’s getting on my nerves! He’s your problem now. Have fun lovebirds!” You wink at them as you slip away. You need another drink, something hard. You also need someone to take home tonight. So you wouldn’t have to think about Matthew and Macy.

You like her. She is perfect for him, and she makes him happy. That’s what you want. It doesn’t mean you don’t wish it was you.

————

The next morning Matthew makes his way back to his own apartment. He had spent the night at Macy’s, but decides to get home early as his parents and siblings are going to be in town later in the day. When he turns down the hall, he notices the guy leaning against your doorframe. He can’t see you, but he can hear your laugh. “I’ll see you later yeah?” Nathan says leaning in to press a kiss to your lips.

“Um sure. Yeah.” You immediately start beating yourself up internally for how awkward that sounded. Sure Nathan is sweet, and last night was great! He just doesn’t feel right.

You say your final goodbyes, and promise to text him later before you close your door. Little do you know, your best friend is waiting in the hallway to greet your new friend. “Fun night fella?” Matthew smirks at him.

His eyes go wide as he realized who exactly it is standing in front of him. Matthew’s ego inflates significantly at how terrified this guy seems. “Uh yeah it was alright.” Nathan manages to stammer out.

“She’s something isn’t she? I’m Matthew.” Matt sticks his hand out for the stranger.

“Nathan, and uh yeah she’s great.” The two continue awkward small talk for a couple seconds longer before Matthew lets himself into your apartment.

“So Michael huh?” Matthew grins over at you. You roll your eyes, taking a long drink of your coffee from where you stand leaning against the counter.

“It’s Nathan, but you knew that smart ass. What about him?” You challenge, slightly annoyed that he had to show up and give you a hard time. Matthew just shrugs walking over to you, pushing himself up onto the counter beside you.

“He just doesn’t seem like your type.”

“Matty, how the hell would you even know what my type is?” You cross your arms glaring at him.

“He’s skinny, and he is definitely vanilla as all hell. Sure those aren’t bad things, but you and I both know you want a strong man to be in control. Only in the bedroom of course.” He adds with a wink. Your cheeks flame in response, shoving him. He’s exactly right. Nathan was a little scrawny, and not overly confident in the bedroom. Sure he was great, but he wasn’t Matthew. You curse yourself for even thinking about your friend that way. Your best friend that’s all he is.

“Matthew, get out of my apartment. Your family will be here soon, and I need to get ready to see my favourite Tkachuk.” You tease back. He rolls his eyes, but says nothing as he slips from the counter making his way out of your apartment.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as the door shuts behind him. You need to start distancing yourself from him before things get out of hand.

————

“Y/N!!!” Brady gathers you up in a hug before you even have the chance to close Matthew’s door.

“Hey Brady” you giggle into his hair. He sets you down after giving you a quick spin, pressing a soft kiss to your hairline.

“How’ve you been bug?” He asks, throwing an arm over your shoulder after you finally shut the door. Him and Matthew have called you the dumb nickname for a long time, and at this point it hardly bothers you. You and Brady were always really close, but it was never the same as you and Matthew. He was more like a brother for you, one you annoy, share all your secrets with (especially if they involved boys), and also gave him a hard time. With Matthew, sure you annoy each other, and share secrets, but you and Matthew were a team. Inseparable. It doesn’t make sense, even to you, but you did love them both.

“Not too bad, trying to keep Mr. Hotshot in check. The usual. Though I’ve had some help recently, so honestly I’ve been a little bored.” You quip loud enough for Matthew to hear. Judging by the look on Matthews face though, he hadn’t missed any of the interaction.

“Oh get a room already would you!” He grumbles rolling his eyes and walking away. You and Brady share a look, and he shrugs to signal he’s just as confused as you.

Brady leads you to the couch, and you sit down. The two of you already deep in conversation, catching up on your lives. Taryn finds her way to the couch soon after joining in on your conversation. “So what’s she like?” Taryn asks after awhile.

“Macy?” You ask, and the two siblings nod at you expectantly. “She’s really great! She’s kind, smart, and not to mention a total bombshell! She is perfect for Matthew, I’m happy for them.” Brady just looks at you with a sad smile.

You want to tell him that it’s the truth, that you actually love her to death. Something stops you though, you’re not sure why, but you stay quiet.

Soon after Macy knocks on the door. Matthew runs to answer it before either of his siblings can even react. When you see her, your heart nearly stops. Once again you are in awe of just how beautiful she is. You stay rooted in your spot on the couch as the Tkachuk family takes turns fawning over her. For the first time ever, you felt out of place. You’ve spent the better part of a decade being that girl, the one the whole family raves about. The family chirping Matthew about what a miracle it was you stuck around. Sure it got old fast, but you loved it. Now you can’t help the jealousy that spreads it’s roots through your heart.

After the dinner, if you could even call delivered Chinese food that, you pull Matthew aside after the others make their way to the living room. “Hey Matt, I’m gonna head home I’m kinda tired.”

“String bean do that much damage Y/n/n?” He smirks down at you, and your face twists a little unable to find the humour in his friendly chirp. Matthew’s smirk quickly falls from his face. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah ‘m fine Matty. I’m just gonna go okay? I’ll talk to you tomorrow yeah? Tell everyone I’m glad I got to see them.” You muster a small smile as you turn towards the door. “You’re not gonna say bye yourself?”

“They’re having fun Matt.” You send him a better smile at that, trying to let him know everything is okay. You feel far from okay though, and you can’t even explain why. “And you should be too! Now get in there before Brady talks Macy into finding someone better!” You give him a playful shove towards the chatter in the living room. Thankfully Matthew chuckles at that, and let’s you go.

He watches you closely as you leave, and he feels guilty. Running through his mind everything that might have made you want to leave. Was it Brady? Was it him?

God it was killing him, and that was evident on his face as he walks into the living room. Brady catching his eye as soon as he did, noticing the frown that Matthew quickly covers with a smile. “Y/n told me to let you know she was heading home for the night, and she was so happy to see you all. Except Brady of course.”

“Awe well I wish you let us know before she left Matt, we hardly see that girl anymore.” Chantal spoke, but Matthew barely heard her. All he could focus on was the glare Brady was sending him. Matthew just shrugs at his brother, his form of silent communication to let Brady know he doesn’t know what he was upset about. Brady responded with his own silent gesture, a head nod in the direction of the kitchen.

As he peels himself from the chair he was seated in, Brady makes his way silently to the kitchen. Matthew follows, hand rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly once the two brothers are finally alone. “Why did she really leave? What did you say to her?” Brady was quick to jump on Matthew with questions, that if he were honest, Matthew was not expecting.

“What the fuck are you talking about? She was tired so she went home.” Matthew throws back, already angry his brother assumes it was his fault.

“It’s Y/n we are talking about! That girl has been around for years, I’ve seen her pass out at our kitchen table on family game night. She’d sooner fall asleep on the couch and spend as much time with us as she could than to just leave. And without saying good bye? Seriously dude what the hell did you say?” Brady was trying to keep his voice down, but he was upset. You were his friend too.

“Nothing! And how could I? She spent all night talking to you! She’s probably just going home to sleep with that idiot Nathan anyway.” Matthew grumbles. Brady freezes at his brothers statement. “Nathan?”

“Yeah some guy she took home from the bar last night.” Matthew explains like it was common knowledge, “he seems like an idiot.”

“Matt are you jealous?” Brady asks, a shit eating grin plastered on his face. Matthew rolls his eyes and groans out loud. “Brady are you stupid? No wait don’t answer that, you are. Y/n is my best friend. She can sleep with whoever she wants whenever she wants. I have a girlfriend.” Matthew’s fists clench at his sides, and Brady’s eyes flicker down to them briefly.

“Well the two of you need to figure your shit out.” Brady adds, turning on his heels and heading back to his spot in the living room. Matthew unclenches his fists, and takes a deep breath before joining the rest of his family again.

———

You sit on your bed, legs tucked under you, leaning back against the headboard. You press Brady’s contact, and watch as the phone rings. You didn’t FaceTime Brady often, but this was necessary. “What’s up bug?” Brady’s smile immediately makes you feel less anxious.

“Well it’s kind of a long story, I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple months now. He’s great, but I don’t really know how to introduce him to Matt without him being weird about it.” You chew your bottom lip anxiously, cheeks warm with embarrassment. It sounds so stupid to say it out loud. Brady’s laughing pulls you out of your spiral. “What’s so funny? Brady I’m serious Matthew makes everything so awkward!”

Finally Brady manages to catch his breath. “Y/n I had basically this exact same conversation about four months ago with Matt. You two are literally impossible! You’re best friends, you just want each other to be happy. As for Nathan-“

“How do you know his name? I never told you that?” Your dumbfounded expression has Brady in hysterics once again. “Matthew.” You groan, finally having pieced it all together. You mumble something about having to go before you end the conversation with Brady. You pull on an old hoodie of Matthew’s that’s slightly too big for you, and quickly make your way to Matthew’s apartment.

You let yourself in, like you always have. Instead of being met by Matt playing video games like you expected, you’re met with a much more horrifying image. Matt has Macy pinned to the couch, and let’s just say they aren’t having a wrestling match. The noise of shock that escapes you alerts the couple of your presence. “Y/n!” Matthew exclaimes quickly crawling off of Macy. He grabs the nearest throw pillow covering his junk with it awkwardly.

After far too long of gaping at the couple you manage to snap out of it, turning back to head for the door again. “Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I didn’t- oh Jesus! Pretend I was never here I’m sorry!” You’re out of his apartment in record time. Collapsing just inside your apartment door, tears stinging your eyes. The embarrassment was overwhelming, how were you supposed to face either of them ever again?

———

“Well fuck!” Matthew groans after the door slams shut behind you. Macy starts giggling from her place on the couch, and Matthew sends her a glare.

“Oh loosen up tough guy! At least you’re even now!” She shoots back wiggling her eyebrows at him. Matthew stands frozen in his place. “What are you talking about?”

“Her 17th birthday Matthew, do you actually not remember that?” Macy let’s out an awkward laugh, as she watches the pain on Matt’s face. “She told you that?” Matthew is angry, and he knows he shouldn’t be. Why would you tell his girlfriend about that when you have never even talked to him about it? He’s your best friend.

Macy just nods, slightly scared to actually admit it out loud. Matthew lets out a small ‘oh.’ before leaving the room. He emerges a few minutes later fully clothed to find Macy gathering her things to leave.

“I’m sorry you don’t have to leave.” Matthew mumbles, but he only half means it. Sure he doesn’t want her to leave, but he needs to talk to you. Needs to make this right.

“Go talk to her Matty, seriously. Figure it out, I’m not sure why it made you so upset that she just walked in here. What did you expect? She always does. Set some boundaries maybe? You’re a grown man Matthew, it’s not my job to play the parent and fix whatever is happening here.” Macy huffs, slamming the door just as hard as you had not long before. Why was everyone so upset with him? First Brady, then you, now Macy too? What was he doing wrong? And why did the get so upset about Macy bringing up your 17th birthday?

Matthew tries not to get caught up in his mind too long. Instead he roots through his closet shelves looking for your birthday present. Sure maybe it was 6 years late, but how else could he make up for the awkward night?

———

You are laying on your living room floor when Matthew lets himself into your apartment. “What are you doing on the floor?” Matthew chuckles, leaning against the wall closest to you.

“‘M not sure.” You mumble, unable to look at him. Instead you study a paint chip directly above you. You hear Matthew set something down before he pushes your coffee table a few feet away. He then drops himself next to you rather ungracefully, tucking an arm behind his head. “I’m sorry I didn’t knock.” You say quietly, so quietly in fact Matthew almost doesn’t hear it. He does though and he turns his head to face you.

You turn towards him, taking in his features for the first time since he entered your apartment. The sad smile on his face knocks the wind out of you for a moment, as you get lost in his blue eyes. “When have you and I ever knocked? I should’ve put a sock on the door handle.” He chirps back, sealing it with a wink. You laugh lightly at his comment, and turn your gaze back to the paint chip.

The two of you stay like that for awhile. Staring at a paint chip, in total silence. Your thoughts consuming you, as the tension seems to grow thicker by the second. You’re not sure how long passed before Matthew breaks the silence, but it was long enough that it startled you when he does. “At least we are even now. Though I’m pretty sure you got to see a lot more than I did.”

Lifting yourself up onto your forearms you turn to him again, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Well, I thought you’d forgotten. Or maybe you just didn’t want to talk about it with me because you were so angry. I just can’t believe you talked about it with Macy and not me.” He rambles on, but now it was him refusing to look at you. He looks hurt, and your mind races trying to put the pieces together. Then it hits you.

“My birthday.” You say, more to yourself than Matthew, but he nods finally meeting your gaze. “I’m sorry Matt, I just thought if I told her that story it would ease her mind about us. I was too scared to bring it up to you, and then so much time had passed it felt wrong to even talk about it.” Your confession causes Matthew to look even more confused. “Ease her mind? How would that story ease her mind?”

So you tell him. You tell him about how, like everyone else who has met the two of you, Macy assumed something had happened between you. A kiss. A relationship. A hookup. Something. “So I told her the story so she’d understand that even at 17 you were appalled by the sight of me, and how embarrassed I had been. And I told her that was our one and only ‘intimate’ experience.” You make sure to throw air quotes around the term intimate. Your explanation however, did not seem to make Matthew feel better.

“Are you serious? Not once in my life have I ever been ‘appalled’ by your appearance.” He looks extremely offended as he uses air quotes in the most mocking way possible. “Why would you even think that?” You laugh at that, though there is very little humour behind it.

“Matthew, we were 17. I’m not much to look at now, and back then?” You wince at the mere thought of your 17 year old body. “I certainly never had anything like the girls you were into Matty. I’m not stupid it’s okay.” He stares at you now. Mouth open slightly, eyes scanning your face. Waiting, hoping you’d say you were joking. Admit you didn’t see yourself as less than any girl Matthew had ever been with, but you don’t. Instead you stare right back at him, an emotion swimming in your eyes Matthew can’t quite place.

“You really think I ran away because I was grossed out by that whole encounter?” He askes, and you nod. Your eyes dropping to the floor. Matthew lets out a deep laugh, and falls back against the floor again. “Y/n. That is so incredibly far from the truth! I was embarrassed, so embarrassed that I ran the whole way home and locked myself in my room. I then pleaded with Brady to just go without me, and put my name on his gift because I thought you were mad at me. I thought you looked incredible, in fact I don’t think I’ve ever sprung a boner so fast in my life.” Your stomach flutters at his confession. The thought of Matthew thinking about you like that made the want you’d been pushing down for years start to bubble up again. You can’t bring yourself to respond, instead you pick absentmindedly at a loose thread on your shorts. Matthew lets out a loud groan, pulling himself up off the floor entirely.

“Sorry if that made this weird. I hope you understand that you shouldn’t ever compare yourself to any girl. You’re amazing y/n.” You smile up at him and mumble a thank you. It takes everything in you to will away the tears that begin to form in your eyes. “If you don’t believe my story,” Matthew nods to a small box sitting on the coffee table he’d moved earlier. “that is the birthday present I planned to give you that day. It’s the whole reason I walked into your room that day, I wanted you to have it before everyone else showed up.”

With that, Matthew is gone again. A single tear rolls down your cheek as you take in the small box, wrapped in pink wrapping paper. Poorly wrapped you might add. You stand up grabbing the box and a blanket. Wrapping yourself tightly in the blanket, you fall back against the couch examining the package closely.

After twenty minutes of staring at it, you peel away the pink paper with trembling fingers. The dark velvet box, has a sticky note stuck to the top. As you read it, the tears start to fall steadily.

Happy Birthday! I hope you know just how much you mean to me. Hopefully this gift will mean that you never forget me. Love you bug xx-Matty

The little heart he drew at the end pulls a sob out of you. Contrary to the sobs now wracking your body, a smile forms on your face. Slowly, you flip open the small box. Gasping loudly, the box slips from your grasp as both hands come to your face. Although moments ago you wouldn’t have thought it possible, you cry harder now. The necklace is simply beautiful. The small golden ‘M’ makes your heart soar, and break simultaneously.

Your mind runs in circles now. Had you received the gift on the day you were intended to, would things be different? The gift seems more than platonic. You need to confide in someone. You had no idea who to call. You can’t call Brady, he wouldn’t understand. You most definitely can’t call Macy.

Without even thinking you pick up your phone and press on one contact. The phone rings as you press it to your ear. “Hello?”

“It’s beautiful Matt, but it’s too much I can’t take this.” Your voice is shaking and you hope he can’t hear it. Your heart is racing, mind spinning, and nausea swirls through you.

“Y/n/n, keep it please. I bought it years ago, I can’t return it. You’re still my best friend and I want you to have it. We are still friends...” Matthew pauses for a moment, “right?”

“Of course!” You say trying to fight off the urge to tell him you aren’t. You of course would always be friends, but you don’t want that anymore. You can’t continue being a third wheel. “Actually that’s why I went over earlier. I wanted to invite you and Macy out to dinner. Tomorrow night. With me and my boyfriend. If you’re free of course!”

You couldn’t sound more awkward if you tried, but Matthew agrees. You make plans to meet at your favourite diner the following evening, and then say goodnight.

Matthew doesn’t need to know that you slipped the gold chain on after hanging up. Just like you don’t need to know Matthew was currently canceling plans he had previously made with Macy.

———

“Matthew this is-“ You start to introduce the two men standing in front of you, but Matthew quickly interrupts.

“Nathan I know. Nice to uh- see you again I guess?” Nathan let’s out an awkward chuckle as he shakes Matthews hand. “Anyways!” You say breaking the awkward silence that fills the space around you. “Where is Macy anyway?” You ask, taking your seat at the table. Both guys follow suit, and Matthews gaze finally falls to you.

“She sends her apologies, something came up with work. You’re stuck with just me tonight.” He says, sending a wink in Nathan’s direction.

“Tkachuk I swear to god. Be a pest on the ice all you want, but can we for once have a civil meal?” You glare at him across the table, and Nathan sets a hand gently on your shoulder.

“Don’t worry babe, he’s just having some fun.” Nathan says reassuringly. You smile at him, but the smile quickly fades when Matthew speaks up again. “Yeah babe, we’re just having fun.” He laughs mockingly.

Dinner continues a lot like that. Back and forth, both men trying to prove something. Nathan trying to prove to Matthew that he isn’t temporary. Matthew trying to prove to Nathan, that Matthew is a constant in your life and can end this in a second if he wanted. Whatever this was. The pair even argue over who would pay the bill. You end up paying it yourself, as you leave the testosterone at the table to battle it out.

Nathan has to get home, as he has work early tomorrow. So of course Matthew takes it upon himself the drive you back home. The ride is silent, and you fiddle with the chain around your neck the whole way. No words are spoken until Matthew puts the car in park. “String bean know you’re wearing my initial?” He smirks, eyes falling to where your hands still tug at the chain.

“What’s your issue with him?” You spit, anger getting the better of you. “I was nothing but accepting of Macy. I befriended her for you Matthew! Why can you not for once just be nice and do this one thing for me?” You don’t wait for his response, instead you throw yourself out of the vehicle. You forego the elevator, choosing instead to take the stairs to get to your apartment as fast as you can. Once there you slam your door, and bang your forehead against the back of the door.

After a moment of just leaning against the inside of the door a small knock sounds from the other side. “Go away.” You grumble, knowing exactly who is on the other side.

“Bug. Please just listen.” He pauses for a moment and you just let out a shaky breath. “I’m scared you’re settling. I want you to be happy, but I get the feeling he’s not it. I’m sorry I was rude, that was a dick move. I just really care about you, and just because I know I could totally take string bean in a fight, doesn’t mean I want to. I know you’re lonely, and you’re feeling like a third wheel. You’re allowed to date Bug, but I want you to be happy and loved. If it’s really string be- Nathan.” He corrects himself, “If it’s really Nathan you want, then great! I’ll apologize to him, and we can move on. But Y/n, I think you and I both know he’s not. Find what you want and go get it. You deserve it.” Tears are flowing silently down your cheeks. Matt is right. Nathan is not what you want, he never will be. It’s Matt, it’s always been Matt.

After a minute or two of trying to compose yourself, you really think about Matthew’s words. Find what you want and go get it. He’s right, how can you ever be happy if you don’t at least try to chase what you want? So with that you fling open your door, ready to run into Matthew’s arms. To tell him how you feel, to tell him that it’s him you want.

As if the world was trying to play a cruel trick on you, it’s not Matt’s arms you’re greeted with. Instead of being held tightly in his warm embrace, you find yourself surrounded by a cold and empty hallway. It’s so quiet, you can practically hear the sound of your heart breaking all over again. You laugh humourlessly at how stupid you feel. You had hoped Matt’s words of encouragement were a sign. A sign that he could see your harboured feelings, and wanted nothing more than for you to act on them.

Matt watches you through the peephole in his apartment door, heart shattering as you shrink back into your apartment. Nothing was fixed. Macy had told him to fix this, but he’d only manage to make it worse.

———

“Why’d you call her that?” Macy presses, moments after her and Matt walk into his apartment. Matthew shrugs, which is not helping the situation. He could just be honest, and tell Macy that he and Brady had always called you bug.

It all started one summer afternoon when you had thrown a total fit after Brady had pointed out a bug had landed in your hair. For months Brady and Matthew would randomly yell ‘BUG!’ while pointing at you to get a reaction. At some point they just started calling you bug. It was stupid and platonic. At least it was for Brady. The way Matthew said it was always different. It gave you butterflies, and Matthew would be lying if he said he didn’t love the pet name.

“It’s just a nickname.” He defends, walking to the kitchen. She follows closely behind him, watching closely as he grabs a bottle of water from the fridge. He leans against the counter taking a long drink, as Macy stands with her arms crossed waiting for more. Matthew was getting frustrated with the whole situation. “Are you seriously upset about me calling her bug?” He asks in disbelief.

Macy shakes her head, laughing humourlessly with a roll of her eyes. “No Matthew. I’m not. It’s a cute little nickname and that’s absolutely fine. It’s the fact that when she’s around you’re different. It’s like you’re scared to stand too close to me, like she might be upset about it. You tiptoe around her, you didn’t even want to tell her about me Matt. Are you ashamed of me?” The emotion evident in Macy’s eyes, is something Matt hasn’t seen from her before. Something he wasn’t expecting.

“Macy, I am not ashamed of you at all. I-it’s just that Y/n has no one in Calgary, and I’ve always been her bestfriend. When I started seeing you I was scared she’d cling to whoever she felt could fill the spot I had to step back from. And she did, and she isn’t happy with him. I’m sorry that you suffered because of it.” He tries to explain, walking to the girl standing in front of him. He grabs her hips and places a kiss to her temple as tears threate to slip down her cheeks.

“I’m your girlfriend Matt. Start acting like it.”

———

“How did it go?” Brady asks, his goofy smile way too close to the screen. He FaceTimed you a few times a month usually. Checking in, on you and Matt both. He knows you had gone to dinner with Matt and Nathan two nights ago now. You know he called looking to say ‘I told you so’, but you know he won’t be able to. This was one time you truly wish he could.

“Uh it. Well, it wasn’t great.” You frown, and Brady’s smile quickly falls as well. “Nathan and I broke up.”

“WHAT!? Do I have to fight a man, because I have done it before and I’ll do it again?” He jokes to lighten the mood that quickly shifted.

“I actually broke up with him...” Brady’s face twists in confusion. Trying to piece together what he’s missing. A week ago you were so stressed out about Matthew not liking this guy, that you didn’t even want them to meet. Now you had broken up with him? Needless to say Brady was baffled. “He wasn’t what I wanted, I was settling.” You mumble a little embarrassed, as you fiddle with the chain that hasn’t left your neck.

“Y/n... you have to move on.” Brady says gently. Certainly not the reaction you were expecting.

“Brady, I’m fine. I broke up with him. I’m over Nathan, honestly there was nothing to get over.” You shake your head, bringing a smile to your face to emphasize the fact you are okay.

“Not Nathan.” Brady sighs shaking his head. It doesn’t make sense, but judging by the serious tone of his voice and the gentle smile. You aren’t going to like where this was going. “You need to get over Matthew.”

The minute the words leave his mouth you want to scream and cry. Tell him he’s wrong, and an asshole for even assuming that. You want to tell him he’s right. To ask him for help. You want to ask him why you have to get over him, and explain that you can’t. You want to ask him so many questions, but only one comes out; “Why have I never been good enough for him Brady?” You’re crying now. No actually, you’re sobbing. You’re inconsolable, and Brady is in Ottawa.

“Y/n it’s not like that.” He doesn’t know how to let you down easy. How can he explain that Matthew loves everything about you, but would never love you the way you love him? How can someone explain that you were exactly what Matthew wants, and that’s why you’ll never be his. Matthew can’t lose you. He can’t wreck what you have. Brady doesn’t know that Matthew used to want you that way. All he knows is that anytime he, Chantal, Taryn, or Keith brought it up Matthew would laugh and say he could never date you. You are his bestfriend. The truth is, Matthew knows he isn’t good enough. Not for you. No one ever will be. You are perfect to him.

“Forget it.” You bark, more aggressively than Brady deserves, but you are hurt. You have never talked to anyone about how you feel about Matthew. Having Brady call you out like that terrifies you. Who else knows? Taryn? Chantal? Does Matthew know? Just the thought of it makes your stomach churn. You immediately end the FaceTime call, not allowing Brady to say anything else.

He tries calling back. You ignore him, just like you ignore the constant stream of texts. He even has Taryn trying to get ahold of you. Of course he does. You shut off your phone, and curl up on your couch. The bad reality tv show playing softly in the background can’t even keep your attention. You instead, stare at the coffee table. It’s still pushed farther to one side of your living room, right where Matt left it. You continue to stare at it, your whole body feeling numb, until finally sleep takes over.

———

Matthew knows something is up as soon as Brady calls him. “What happened Brady?” Matthew asks, concern for you beating out any rational thoughts. He knows how pathetic he sounds, and prays his brother doesn’t pick up on it. As soon as Brady mentions your name, Matthew demands more information, but Brady won’t tell him what happened.

“I’m sure she’s fine Matt, I just upset her and now she won’t answer my calls. Please just check on her and tell her I’m sorry.” Brady says, before abruptly being hung up on. Again.

Matthew quickly makes his way to your door, and lets himself in. Sure he should knock, but he knows if you are upset you likely won’t answer anyway. The sight that meets Matthew when he enters your apartment makes his heart burst. There you are, curled up in a blanket fast asleep, hand clutching the pendant around your neck. He tries his best to stop the feeling in his gut as he realizes how domestic this moment feels.

Matthew gathers you in his arms as gently as he can, and carries you to your bedroom. As he lays you down, you adjust yourself slightly, but it is clear you are out like a light. “You’ll find him bug.” Matt whispers as he places a gentle kiss to your hairline. “The perfect guy is going to come along and sweep you off your feet. You’ll have that big wedding you’ve always wanted, a couple beautiful little babies, and I’ll be there cheering you on. You’re perfect bug, never settle.” Matthew fights back the lump that forms in his throat, as he pushes the hair gently from your face. “I wish it could’ve been me.” He says it so quietly that if you had been awake you still may not have heard him. So he leaves, pushing all those thoughts away and trying to remember that you’ll always be his best friend. Just his best friend.

———

“Well if it isn’t Matthew’s better half!” Mark greets you as you find your way into the backyard. You somehow got an invite to the teams’ end of the season BBQ, and now here you are already getting chirped by the captain.

“Easy there Gio, Matt has a girlfriend now remember?” You joke back with a wink, but you feel a twinge of sadness. You don’t have much time to think about it though, as the captain throws his arm over your shoulder and leans down to whisper in your ear. “I’ve always liked you better though, not sure why he’d pass up on you.” The blush that floods your cheeks makes your whole body feel hot with embarrassment. You know he’s joking, but it does feel good to hear it.

Mark leads you deeper into the yard, as you say hi to everyone. “There she is!” Your head snaps around quickly as you hear Matt’s voice. As soon as your eyes land on him, you notice his are already on you. “Hey Matty!” You greet with a smile as he wraps you in his arms. He smells like sweat and beer, and he refuses to let you out of his grasp. That is until you hear someone clear their throat, and he pulls away awkwardly.

“Macy! How’ve you been?” You greet her with a big smile and pull her into a hug. She responds quietly, and soon after excuses herself to get a drink. You send Matt a questioning look, but he only shrugs and drags you to the beer pong table announcing you are his partner.

That’s how your afternoon goes, beating everyone in beer pong with Matt as your partner. You’re slowly getting tipsy, and subsequently warmer. Peeling your top off, Johnny Gaudreau whistles loudly from across the table. You are wearing a pretty revealing red bikini top, but given the fact you are slightly intoxicated Johnny’s reaction doesn’t bother you. In fact it is welcomed as you send him a wink.

“Hey Gaudreau! How about you stop staring at my friends chest and throw the damn ball?” Matt growls beside you. You bump your hip with his, and furrow your brows at him silently asking if he’s okay. He shakes his head gently in dismissal as he smiles at you.

Macy sits quietly to your left, watching you all play. She watches the way Matt places his hands on your hips to help you get in position. Watches as he lifts you into the air spinning you around after you win a round. Watches as Matthew tries to advert his gaze as you peel your shirt off, his neck turning red, and not because of the hot sun. The straw for Macy was when she seew the emotions on Matt’s face as Johnny hits on you. His entire body tensing, as he grips the edge of the table. Why was he so protective of you? Would Matthew not be happy if two of his best friends dated? It is in that moment that it becomes clear to her. It has nothing to do with him not wanting you to be with Johnny. He wants you to be with him.

———

“Everything okay? You’ve barely said a thing to me all day.” Matt asks when he and Macy finally make it back to his apartment. She sighs loudly, starting to gather anything of hers laying around the apartment.

“You were busy having fun Matt, I wouldn’t want to get in the way of that. Or anything for that matter.” She responds, though her words only confuse him more. She just sends a soft smile in his direction as she shoves more things into her bag.

“Aren’t you staying?” He asks, a small pout forming on his face. Macy shakes her head, turning toward Matt. Her face is apologetic, but mostly unreadable to Matthew.

“You know you’re in love with her right?” Macy blurts out, and quickly clarifies. “Y/n, you love her.”

“Since when?” Matthew shoots back, way too defensively.

“Since pretty much always. That’s why I’m breaking up with you.” She smiles sadly closing the distance between the two. Placing a small kiss to his cheek, she whispers a small apology.

Matthew opens his mouth to protest, ask her to stay. Tell her she’s wrong, and that he loves her, not you. He can’t though, because it would be a lie. She knows it, and so does he. So he watches as she leaves, an uneasy feeling in his stomach as a single tear falls down his face. What has he done?

———

You decide to take a few summer classes to help make your work load for the upcoming school year a little more manageable. Choosing to stay in Calgary for the summer, instead of traveling back to St. Louis with Matthew to see your family. Matthew tries to convince you to go, but you tell him you can’t. You need some distance from him anyway.

———

It was distance you got. You barely talk to him all summer, and tonight will be the first time you’ve seen him since that night at the BBQ.

“How is Matthew doing?” Elias’ girlfriend Annica asks you, as the two of you take your seats at the home opener. You shrug and sigh taking a sip of your drink. “I don’t know, I’ve barely spoken to him since the BBQ at Gio’s.” You admit, a small frown on your face.

“Wait? Did he not tell you!?” She practically shrieks in your ear. You just give her a confused look, a wide smile stretching across her face. “About him and Macy!”

Immediately your stomach drops. You brace yourself for the announcement. Maybe they’ve moved in together? Got engaged? Having a baby? All of the thoughts make you feel sick, but you smile over at Annica trying to hide your emotions. “No I haven’t spoken to either of them really. What are they finally tying the knot?” You try and joke, but really you’re terrified of the answer. Annica’s face falls slightly. Confusion written all over her face.

“They broke up.” Annica explains in a light tone. Almost as if she was explaining it to a child. “Oh.” Was all you manage to choke out, as Annica watches you. She’s waiting for more of a reaction, but you can only sit in shock. What happened? Why didn’t he tell you? Why did no one tell you?

You can barely sit still through the game, you’re mind is running wild. Why had Matt not talked to you about this? Why had he barely spoken to you at all? Was he okay? Who broke up with who? Why do you care so much? Soon enough though all of your questions will be answered. You are standing next to Annica outside the locker rooms, tapping your foot nervously. She asks if you are okay, and all you can do is nod. Elias makes his way out of the dressing room and over to you. He gives you both a quick hug and you congratulate him on their win. “Matt will be out in a few minutes.” He smiles at you, and you tell the couple to have a good night as they leave. Gio and Johnny both stop to talk to you on their way out.

Johnny hangs back and waits with you. “How was your summer? Finally got a break from the pest I hear.” He teases, leaning against the wall beside you. You smirk up at him, “My summer was great! Significantly quieter than I’m used to, but I enjoyed it. It’s nice to see you again though, how was your summer?” He smiles brightly down at you as he launches into some long story about how crazy his training was. You try to listen, and seem interested, but that becomes significantly harder as Matthew finally comes out of the dressing room.

He is wearing a navy blue suit with a white dress shirt. The top three buttons undone, and his tie just draping loosely around his neck. His hair is damp and falls across his forehead, he is staring at his phone still not having noticed you. He almost walks right past you, but you speak up grabbing his attention. “Any time for your biggest fan hotshot?” His eyes snap up from his phone, a grin replacing his previously shocked expression.

“My biggest fan huh?” He smirks pulling you into a tight hug. You grip onto his suit jacket tightly not wanting to let go as you hum into his chest. “That why you’re wearing that necklace?” He teases and you blush trying to hide your face even further in his chest. “Shut up,” You mumble, “I missed you.” He kisses the top of your head mumbling about missing you too. Johnny clears his throat awkwardly, as you quickly pull away from Matthew.

“Well I’m going to head out now, goodnight you two.” Johnny winks at you as he walks away. You turn back towards Matthew to see him smiling down at you, and your stomach drops. A small frown makes its way onto your face as you remember exactly what you came to talk to Matthew about. “Matt, we need to talk.” His face falls a little bit, but he nods and grabs your hand in his. He starts walking further into the building, and you follow. Eyes trained on your hand in his, heart beating rapidly in your chest. You’re so nervous, that you hardly even realize Matthew is leading you up the steps and into two seats in the top row of the arena. As the two of you sit down, you don’t look at him. Instead you stare down at the ice, now only lit by the emergency lights causing a strange glow. You’ve never seen the arena like this, so quiet and lifeless. Your internal thoughts seem amplified in the silence, but you can’t seem to find the words to say what you’re thinking.

You’re not sure how long the two of you sit in silence before Matthew let’s out a sigh, turning towards you. “St. Louis isn’t the same without you.” He says quietly, a sad smile on his face as you finally meet his eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Macy?” You blurt out, face heating up in embarrassment once again. Matt stares at you for a moment, before dropping his eyes to his hands that are now fidgeting in his lap.

“I didn’t know what to say.” He mumbles out, playing with his fingers. You shake your head and sigh, pulling your eyes away from the distracting movements of his hands. You decide to examine the ice once again, wrapping your arms across your chest. You’re trying to brace yourself for how badly this might end.

“You didn’t know how to tell your best friend you broke up with your first really serious girlfriend?” Your voice is probably too accusatory, but you’re hurt. How can he keep so much of his life from you? Your mind is running in circles as you wait for a response, attempting to hold yourself tighter.

“Yeah like it’s that easy!” Matthew’s voice is significantly more angry than you are expecting, and your heart rate increases immediately. “I say ‘We broke up.’ And then you ask a million questions about what happened and why, I didn’t know how to say it!”

You look at him now. His eyes are glossy, and his face is red. In anger or embarrassment? Who knows, maybe both. “Matty, I know you really cared about her. It’s not easy to talk about, but if you’re going to move on you have to talk to someone.” You make sure to keep your voice gentle as you speak, “I want to be that person for you Matt, but if I’m not that’s okay. Just please talk to someone, you can’t stay broken forever.”

Matthew laughs at you, but it doesn’t make you feel better. The laugh is humourless, and you can hear the lack of emotion behind it. “That’s the part I can’t explain Y/n, you don’t get it! I’m not broken about it, and I should be! I was in love!” He’s frustrated now, as he runs his hands over his face and through his hair.

“Matthew, it’s okay. People fall out of love all the time!” You place a hand on his bicep to try and sooth him. It seems to work as you feel his muscles relax under your touch. He sighs softly beside you, as he lifts his eyes to meet yours once again.

“I didn’t fall out of love, I’m still in love.” Your brows furrow in confusion, as you search his eyes for any clue about what could be going on inside his head. “Just not with Macy.”

“T-there’s someone else?” You are taken aback, and now your mind is spinning. Did he cheat on Macy? Who is she? Matthew just nods in response. “Have I met her? Oh my god please don’t tell me it’s like one of the WAGs or something!” You are rambling uncontrollably, unable to comprehend what Matthew is trying to say. “Matthew did you cheat on Mac-“ Thankfully he was quick to cut you off.

“It’s you.”

You freeze. Eyes practically popping out of your skull, you open and close your mouth repeatedly. Sure you might look like a fish out of water, but that’s exactly how you feel. You must have misheard what he is saying. Right? The ‘you’ had to be someone else. The look Matthew is giving you right now though, a look of total honesty, a look that is teetering on the edge of disappointment. That look tells you all you need to know. He means you. He is in love with you.

“Since when?” You croak out. Your entire body is trembling with nerves, still terrified he will take it back. Maybe you’re being punked.

Matthew leans closer to you, uncrossing your arms that were still wrapped tightly across your chest. You can feel your heartbeat in your throat as he takes your trembling hands in his. His hands feel different now, softer. They are so much bigger than your own, and you’ve never noticed until now just how right they felt wrapped around your own.

Matthew releases on of your hands, as he brings one to your chin. He tilts your head so you’re looking into his eyes again. “Since always.” He smiles, pressing his forehead to yours. You subconsciously lick your lips, and Matthew takes that as a sign to lean in. His lips hover just above yours, but he doesn’t close the gap.

“Matty-“ you whine quietly, and he smirks in response.

“What’s wrong bug?” He’s teasing you now, and he knows it.

“I’ve been waiting for this moment since the tenth grade, please just kiss me!” Your pleads are finally answered as Matthew finally presses his lips to yours. It’s firm and certain, and intoxicating. Gripping his suit jacket, you pull him closer deepening the kiss even more. Matthew groans against your lips, one hand cradling your neck, the other gripping your hip tightly.

The kiss starts getting more intense, the years of built up tension and pining being shared in this one kiss. Matthew, despite not wanting to stop, pulls away first. Your lips chase his, not wanting the moment to end. Scared that when it does, you’ll wake up. Like this is all a dream. Or even worse, it’ll end, and Matthew tells you he was wrong.

“Easy tiger!” He chuckles, tucking some hair behind your ear. Matthew is positive you’ve never looked so beautiful. You’re lips are pink and swollen, face flushed lightly, and your eyes are big and bright as they look into his.

“Did you mean it?” You ask quietly, “When you said that you loved me, because Matty I can’t do this if you aren’t in. I can’t lose you.” Tears are stinging your eyes now, as your voice cracks with emotion. You can’t lose your best friend, and that has become more clear to you after not being with him all summer.

“I’m not going anywhere, if that’s what you want.” He looks at you hopefully. Your heart is beating so loudly in your chest, you’re almost positive he can hear it.

“Matthew of course this is what I want. I’ve always wanted you.” You pause momentarily, as you see a small smile spread across his face. His dimples now on full display. “I love you Tkachuk. I always have.”

He wastes no time kissing you again. Your hands tangle in his hair that’s still slightly damp, and his hands cup both of your cheeks. “I’m sorry.” He mumbles against your lips. You push him back, so you can look at him.

“Why are you apologizing?” You’re confused now, as you immediately begin building your walls back up. You’re waiting now, waiting for the other shoe to drop. You know this felt too perfect.

“Because,” he sighs, shoulders slumping under your gaze. “I should have done that so long ago. Instead I let you think you weren’t good enough. I let you go on believing that I didn’t love you. Brady told me about what you said, about not being good enough. I hope you know now that it was never like that. You are, if anything, too good for me. I was scared, and stupid, and I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Your heart breaks a little for him. You can see the remorse and guilt written all over his face. “Well Matthew. I can accept that apology under one condition.” You say teasingly, running your hand over his shoulder giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You take me out on a date.”

Matthew smiles brightly down at you, and places a soft kiss to your forehead. “On one condition.” He whispers, lips still pressed against your skin. “You let me take you out as my girlfriend.”

“Anyone ever told you that you’re just a big sap Tkachuk?” You smirk. You don’t think you’ve ever felt so happy.

“Actually my girlfriend has, just now. She’s kinda cute.” You slap his chest playfully and roll your eyes.

“Take me home Tkachuk.” You announce, pushing yourself to your feet. Matthew copies your actions, adding a little salute to make you laugh. It does the job, and Matthew has you laughing the whole way to his car. As he opens the door for you, you lean into his chest pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

“You’re perfect.” Matthew says after the two of you are finally settled in to your respective seats in his car.

“Since when?” You scoff, rolling your eyes playfully.

“Always.”

#Since When?#matthew tkachuk #nhl imagines #nhl fanfiction #nhl writing #hockey imagines #hockey fanfiction #hockey writing #Matthew Tkachuk imagines #Matthew Tkachuk fanfiction #Matthew Tkachuk writing #Matthew Tkachuk x Reader

507 notes · View notes

piduai · 4 years

Text

Q&A section from the Golden Kamuy fanbook

sharing anywhere is fine, but please credit me. stop posting screenshots of my translations on twitter with no credit

Q1: Where and how did Shiraishi get the hanten (winter jacket) he's wearing? My curiosity makes me lose sleep.

Noda: A brothel girl who was fond of him gave him her hanten she never wore in front of customers, saying that it must be cold to go home the way he was dressed. Shiraishi promised her that he'll come again soon and give it back, but he never did.

Q2: Who gave Asirpa her ninkari (earrings)? Or did she make them herself? Noda: They're a heirloom from her mother.

Q3: Sometimes I look at Shiraishi and can't help thinking that he's pretty cool, despite all odds. Is he a hunk or a clown, at the end of the day? Noda: Gentlemen of the world are esteemed by women based on aura and hairstyle. Men who manage to stay good-looking while sporting a buzz cut are the true hunks.

Q4: You mentioned in a previous Q&A that the fur Asirpa wears belonged to Retar's parent despite you being unable to find a place for it in the story. Are there any other details that couldn't make it? Noda: The boots Sugimoto is wearing while in Hokkaido were stripped off the officer he beat half to death.

Q5: Does Asirpa still have the fish cake she thought of as Dick-sensei on her? Noda: She does.

Q6: Do you draw the characters wearing their kimono left side over right on purpose? (t/n: Japanese kimono is worn left side over right; getting it wrong is considered incredibly bad luck because this is how the dead are dressed on funerals) Noda: Left over right is the standard for traditional Japanese clothing. In drawings of older times, Ainu are pictured wearing their kimono right side over left, but in Tamoto Kenzou's photographs taken at the beginning of Meiji era they were already wearing them left over right.

Q7: Did Sugimoto start reading Shoujo Sekai (Girls' World) under Ume's influence, or was it just his natural feminine side? Noda: The magazine started being published in 1906. He got into it very recently.

Q8: What did Sugimoto do in the 2 years between leaving the village after burning his house and coming back to Ume's wedding? Noda: He travelled to places such as Tokyo and Kyoto.

Q9: If Shiraishi were to betray Sugimoto, would Sugimoto be able to kill him without hesitation, like the other prisoners? Noda: If he tried to kill Sugimoto, or circumstances justified betrayal at the expense of being killed, Sugimoto would kill him first.

Q10: Shiraishi, who kept getting into and escaping prison for love, seems to have a lot of common sense and knows a lot of things. He seems rather smart to me. He's been imprisoned after reformatory so I can't imagine where he got his knowledge and refinement from. Tell me more about Shiraishi. Noda: One has to be good with people if they plan to get into prison for the sole purpose of escaping. He's been in contact with a lot of political prisoners, and quite a few people who worked in intelligence.

Q11: Is there a reason Asirpa hates snakes so much? She's always so composed, so seeing her freak out over a snake in chapter 104 was very cute and heartwarming. Noda: A lot of my resources point that the Ainu loathe snakes. It's not only Asirpa.

Q12: Sugimoto is quite foul-mouthed himself, yet when Ogata tried to educate Asirpa in matters of life by telling her that all men behave the same after they shoot their load, he was scandalized. Did he get a change of heart? Noda: He was just pissed off because it was Ogata who was speaking.

Q13: Sugimoto calls himself immortal, yet he's got a sensitive tongue, loves flowers, and is sweet in many other ways, which makes him so charming. Is there anything else to his feminine side? Noda: He's also good at otedama. (t/n: Children's game that involves tossing and juggling bean bags. It is rarely competitive and often accompanied by singing. It was wildly popular with girls.)

Q14: Asirpa and Dick-sensei commented on how Shiraishi stinks. What does he actually smell like? Noda: He's got a smell similar to peanut butter. I think it's tasty.

Q15: Who taught Ogata how to handle a gun? Or is he self-taught? Noda: His maternal grandfather taught him. For Ogata, he is the person "who teaches how to shoot". Grandmother is "person who gives food", so he was a little attached to her.

Q16: How much weight did Tanigaki gain since the beginning of the story? Noda: He gained 15 kg.

Q17: Are Ogata's grandparents still alive? If not, how did they die? Noda: They both disappeared before Ogata enlisted. There was half-eaten food left on the table.

Q18: The scene in which Ogata tries to corrupt Yuusaku by taking him to a brothel and telling him that brothers are supposed to do bad things together was very sexy and impactful. Does it mean that Ogata frequented brothels, and has the appropriate experience? Noda: He just pretended that he knows what he's doing.

Q19: Whose attush (robe) is Genjiro wearing? Noda: It belonged to Asirpa's grandfather.

Q20: During the Yamada Circus arc, in Sugimoto's roller-skating fantasy there's something hanging out of Tanigaki's shorts. Is it the rod or the balls? Noda: That's a testicle. Including the hair would be grating, so I haven't. Reason for which I don't draw his leg or other body hair. Except chest hair. That's dancing on the line between grating and sexy.

Q21: Will Inkarmat, Tanigaki and Cikapasi ever reunite, just the three of them? Noda: I think it would be more compelling if Tanigaki and Cikapasi never meet again.

Q22: At some point in volume 20, Ogata escapes Sugimoto and the rest on horseback, but where did he learn how to ride a horse? From what I know, only junior officers and above were able to enter cavalry. Yet Ogata rode an unsaddled, although having reins, horse without batting his eye! Did he practice on farm horses in Ibaraki or something? Noda: According to Isabella Bird, Meiji era people used to ride horses wherever they went, cross-legged and smoking. They were akin to bicycles or mopeds today. It seems that horses were quite cheap back then too.

Q23: While escaping the hospital in Sakhalin, Ogata had naught but the hospital robe on his back, with his dick in the free, and he seemed to be so cold. Yet when he reappears, he's wearing clothes. Where did he get them? Noda: An old man caught him in the act of stealing laundry that was hanging outside and let him stay at his place for a while, he fed him too. That man lost a grandson in the Russo-Japanese war. Ogata stayed there for 5 days and then disappeared, leaving a dried cod on the table.

Q24: Chapter 190 showed Tanigaki face away from Asirpa and Kiroranke, but in the volume version it was corrected to him looking at them firmly. Why did you do that change? Noda: It was to convey that Tanigaki doesn't have any regrets about what he's done.

Q25: I was wondering why Ogata used the name "Tome" when talking to Asirpa. Was it a name chosen randomly, or did it belong to Ogata's mother, grandmother, or someone else he knew? Noda: It was Hyakunosuke's mother's name.

Q26: It was mentioned that Kadokura went to middle school. Does he come from a wealthy family? Back in Meiji only well-off people could afford middle school. Noda: Kadokura's father came to ruin due to his bad luck. Kadokura himself suffered because of that too.

Q27: Did Toni choose his outfit before or after losing sight? Noda: He asks around others, Ushiyama, for example, about his appearance and whether he looks weird or not.

Q28: I love the Kadokura and Kirawus pair. They're both middle-aged, are they single? Noda: Kirawus is a bachelor. Kadokura is a divorcee, his wife took their daughter and ran away from him.

Q29: Toni posed as an anma at a ryokan once. When did he learn the art of massage? Noda: I think there were a lot of blatantly bad anma back then. Even now finding a good and truly skilled masseuse is quite the challenge.

Q30: How does Kadokura spend his days off? Noda: He likes fishing.

Q31: In chapter 174, Ushiyama is saying "Bo~itano" while sliding. Is it about the skater Brian Boitano? Do you like Boitano? Noda: It's just a meaningless howl. You're mishearing.

Q32: No offence intended, but there's quite a lot of nudity in Golden Kamuy. Still, Kirawus hasn't even taken his matanpushi (head scarf) off. Will he ever show some skin? Noda: Unless completely necessary, I don't draw nudity. Kirawus will get naked when the time calls.

Q33: Kirawus and Kadokura are often seen together. Do they get along well or are both just bored? Noda: They're both useless on their own so Nagakura concluded that maybe they'll be able to serve a purpose if they join forces.

Q34: While in Sakhalin, Shiraishi mentioned that Hijikata is the grandpa who gives him pocket money. How and why and at what timing did Hijikata give him pocket money? Noda: It seems that Hijikata will give Shiraishi money if he recites a haiku well. He'll give him some even if the recital is underwhelming, though.

Q35: Tell me something about Kirawus, anything at all. Noda: He's the youngest child.

Q36: Are the dots at the corners of Usami's eyes birthmarks or eyelashes? Noda: Those are eyelashes.

Q37: Please tell me how to distinguish between the Nikaidou twins. Noda: At the cram school I went to there were two twin brothers as well and I couldn't distinguish between them so I'd just ask, "hey, which one are you?". Nikaidou twins got the same treatment by Tsurumi and the rest.

Q38: I heard that during that time there was need of recommendations from superior officers in order to be promoted in army rank. Is it possible that Ogata and Usami got theirs from Tsukishima or Kikuta? Noda: I think both of them simply were exceptional soldiers.

Q39: Since it was stated that Koito-papa and Ogata-daddy were best friends, did their sons know about each other? Noda: Koito and Yuusaku have met in the past.

Q40: Given that Koito habitually carries a hand mirror and seems to take great care of his general appearance, is he aware that he's good-looking? How does he feel about it? Noda: He's trying to channel the flag-bearer image.

Q41: Did you draw Igogusa as a beauty in Tsukishima's flashback on purpose? I thought that she would be rather plain, so I was surprised. Noda: If the story about a rich man falling for her at first sight is true, I think she'd need to have impressive looks. It's also possible that that's just how Tsukishima saw her, though.

Q42: Is there a reason for Tsurumi to dislike alcohol? I feel like it would be easier for him to coax his superiors into his wants if he were able to drink with them. Noda: He just has low alcohol tolerance. When he drinks with superiors he pretends that he drinks, and then pretends that he's drunk.

Q43: Is Tsurumi aware of how handsome he is? Noda: You're not going to wink at people like that if you don't have the awareness.

Q44: Tell me about Kikuta and Ariko's ages. Noda: Kikuta is younger than Tsurumi and older than Tsukishima. Ariko is about the same age as Tanigaki.

Q45: Tsurumi seems to dislike alcohol, but what effect does it have on him? Noda: He becomes quiet when he drinks.

Q46: It is known that Usami likes Tsurumi a lot. Does he have any experience with women, though? Noda: You'd think that he wouldn't be good at sex with women when you look at him, but the fact that he is is what's truly scary about him.

Q47: Tell me something interesting about Yuusaku's life in the barracks. Noda: He got his leg stuck in a squat toilet once and had to borrow a change of clothes from Ogata.

Q48: Tell me something about Tsukishima's mother. Noda: Tsukishima inherited his nose from her.

Q49: When Usami revealed that he got the stick men on his face tattooed I took damage. Did you hesitate at all when you made him do that? Noda: Not for a second.

Q50: Tsukishima's life was hinged on learning Russian. How did he do it? I'm curious about whether he went to classes or used study materials available in Japan, or had to learn on site. Noda: Russian knowledge was used merely as a pretext for the army so it's not that he needed to learn it immediately. He started learning after getting out of prison, from Tsurumi and on site. Ogata was studying together with him, but he wasn't as diligent about it as Tsukishima.

Q51: What was Koito's reaction at Tsukishima becoming his assistant? Noda: He commanded him to tell everything about Tsurumi he didn't already know.

Q52: It's very obvious that Tsukishima only cares about looks. However, him stuffing his chest like that during the movie filming... Does it mean that he's into giant boobies as well? It's hurtful... Noda: It was Shiraishi who stuffed Tsukishima's chest as a prank.

Q53: What did Koito do about his natural needs in those 4 days he was kidnapped? Noda: I'll leave it to your imagination.

Q54: How did Tsurumi get his beloved Borchardt pistol? Noda: Arisaka brought it from Germany for research, but Tsurumi pestered him into giving it up.

Q55: Koito still speaks in Satsuma dialect when he's 16. At what age did he learn to speak in standard Japanese? Both of his parents speak in the dialect too, who taught him standard speech? Noda: Since the members of the 7th division were gathered from all across Japan, it is true that they would often have trouble understanding each other due to dialect differences. For this reason they all had to be assertive about adapting to standard speech. Or so I guess, who knows what actually happened.

Q56: In the beginning it seems that Tsukishima is the good guy in the 7th division, but as the story progressed I came to the conclusion that it was Maeyama. Or does Maeyama have some kind of dark side too? Noda: Tsukishima testified that he heard Maeyama humming when he was carrying the corpses of Russian soldiers during the war. Maeyama denied it, but when he did his eyes darkened so much you couldn't make out the whites anymore.

Q57: In chapter 196, Koito puts a mos on Tsukishima's face. Was he able to eat it after all? Noda: He used his face muscles and somehow managed to bring it to his mouth. Koito was watching him do that, in silence, the whole time.

Q58: I suppose you have a distinctive image for each character in your head. What kind of dynamic do you imagine when writing the interactions between Koito and Tsukishima? Noda: The dynamic between a spoiled and tomboyish princess and a lady's maid who acts as educator.

Q59: How old is Vasily? Noda: He's the same age as Ogata.

Q60: Gansoku Maiharu talked to the berserk Sugimoto in such a kind way, I can't think of him as anything but a good-hearted gentleman, and I like him so much. I'd like to know why such a kind person was sent to prison. Noda: He was initially imprisoned for dojoyaburi (t/n: challenging dojo masters and bringing them to ruin). Like Shiraishi's, his crimes got heavier while in prison because he kept causing mayhem.

Q61: Who has the biggest testicles in the cast? Noda: Tanigaki.

Q62: Who has the biggest dick? I'm so curious about it I can only sleep at night. Noda: Tanigaki, Kiroranke, Ushiyama and Kikuta are the four heavenly kings of having huge dicks.

Q63: Did Sekiya have a wife? Noda: He did, but their daughter's death changed him so much he deserted her. I tried my best at showing that a child's birth and a child's death changes people at different points in my work.

Q64: When Osoma says, "Sinna kisar! Oh, so busy!", what does she mean? What is she busy with? Noda: So many sinna kisar came by, she had to point at all of them and it was a busy task.

Q65: Are Yamada and Fumie from circus arc a couple? Or maybe siblings? Noda: They are brother and sister who pretend to be married. She's older.

Q66: Why did Enonoka start bawling when she heard about Svetlana? Of course, Enonoka is an honest and kind girl, but considering she only has Henke, I thought it may be tied to her past. Noda: She lost both of her parents in a boat accident. At that time she was thinking about what her parents felt about her.

Q67: Did Vasily start drawing due to being unable to talk because of his injury? Or was he good at it from way before? Noda: He was always good. He wanted to go to art school but his family was poor so he couldn't.

Q68: Is the reason Golden Kamuy has so few smokers you taking into account the current state of things in society on top of a lack of need for drinking scenes? Or is it personal preference? Noda: It's because I don't think that the act of smoking looks cool. It's just personal taste. However it would be unnatural for the time period if there were no smokers at all, so Kikuta had to become one.

Q69: Was there really a handle that would open all of the Abashiri cells at once? I'm curious because I never visited the museum. Noda: It's a fat lie. There is one in the Kabato prison, though. There is no ladder that leads from the gates to the rooftop, either. Only a good manga will shamelessly lie to you like this after so much research.

Q70: Most of the characters are either handsome or have very unique faces. Is there anyone modeled off someone in particular? Noda: I thought about revealing all of them this time but then realized that characters tend to have certain connotations and it could create prejudice around some particular persons, so I won't.

Q71: Please tell us your top 3 characters who have the juiciest asses. Noda: Tanigaki, Tsukishima, Ariko, Shiraishi, Usami... There's just too many.

Q72: Even though Nakazawa looks like a mob character, I feel like you were very particular when drawing his nipples. Please tell us your opinion on nipples. Noda: Men don't think of other men's nipples as sexy so they expose them without thinking. This makes the situation embarrassing, and thus sexy! Oh, so lewd!

Q73: If you were part of the story would you chase after the gold? Noda: Don't think so. There were so many ways to make money back then.

Q74: You make a lot of adjustments for the volumes. Do you cut things out due to the magazine page restriction with tears flowing down your cheeks? Noda: I often can't fit everything in 18 pages, and having to leave things for next week throws off the tempo. There is a conflict. Reading one chapter per week and ten of them in a volume at once are also very different things.

Q75: Whom did you hesitate killing off the most? Noda: Nobody yet.

Q76: If you were to write a side-story, whom would it be about? Noda: Shiraishi.

#golden kamuy #noda satoru #translation #too disgusted to proofread so be kind and ignore the typos and grammar errors... thanks

627 notes · View notes

peachy-inserts · 4 years

Text

𝕙𝕢 𝕓𝕠𝕪𝕤 𝕒𝕤 𝕕𝕒𝕕𝕤

part one ♡ part two (coming soon)

✉︎request: Hcs for Hinata and Kuroo as fathers, please?🥺

✰warnings: none

✎a/n: ahh ty for requesting!! im so sorry but i just.., we dont really write for hinata im so so sorry baby- hes on the masterlist, but we really. just really dont like him. anyways., i added some characters and part two coming soon! i had a little bit of trouble with kuroo, but i hope you enjoy it <3

➳ᴜꜱʜɪᴊɪᴍᴀ, ᴋᴜʀᴏᴏ, ʙᴏᴋᴜᴛᴏ, ɪᴡᴀɪᴢᴜᴍɪ

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

✰ ushijima

He swears that he just KNOWS the gender of your baby before you’ve even had your first ultrasound, and with your third child you’ve just come to accept that he actually, really does know. Or maybe it’s dumb luck, but that never seems to be the case with him and he’s far too sure of himself

Talks to the baby no different from you, asks them for advice knowing they won’t be able to answer, but their little coos and smiles directed towards him are all the help he needs anyways

Sews patches into their play clothes when they’ve become too worn to wear, and teaches them how too! Makes his daughter a hello kitty bag when she says she wants a purse and she uses the leftover fabric to patch his work jeans, which he tore on purpose just because she wanted to put her new skills to use. He wears them out in public and with pride

Okay I know he’s a pro athlete but he’s also a farm boy sorry. Anyways he throws blankets into the back of a pickup truck and takes the kids on a (slow, and careful) ride through the backroads. Could you imagine having a dog back there with them too?? He’d train it to tug on their pants when they lean too far out of the truck and keep them safe

Excellent at putting babies to sleep. He’s kind of confused by them at first, and isn’t really sure what to do with them, but eases up when he sees how easily they drift off to sleep when he tucks them into his chest and pats their back

Doesn’t bring up volleyball to them, but secretly has his fingers crossed that they’ll ask him to play one day; which of course they do, duh, he’s a pro player. As soon as they show even a mild interest in it he’s signing them up for the little league teams and bragging to his teammates

Keeps a photo of the family in his wallet and when he’s away for matches that you can’t make it to often gets caught just staring at it; the team shoots confused looks his way because he’s been looking down at the same photo for 30 minutes straight and smiling softly

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

✰ iwaizumi

Please Iwaizumi with boys is just a role model father. He absolutely adores his little man and drills manners into his head from day one. It’s very important to him that he knows how to treat people with respect and be respected!

The moment he finds out he’s going to be a father he starts planning to build a treehouse. You haven’t even begun to put together a nursery and he’s made several trips to the hardware store and stacked wood in your backyard, and spends the baby’s growing years perfecting it

He buys/sends you flowers on every single Friday, and hasn’t missed one yet. Your little boy catches on and saves up his allowance to buy you some too, because he’s gone with his dad to pick them up plenty of times and knows the way there relative to his walk home from school

He nearly cries with pride, because come on; that’s too cute.

Iwaizumi with a daughter? Different breed. He may not be real but my feelings for him are and I would do ANYTHING for him

He dresses her up in the ugliest frilly little dresses and takes hundreds of photos, and goes to daddy daughter events/dances??!? Bye I’m smitten.

Little league coach!!! Listen he knows and loves sports, just the whole category, so everything his kids wanna sign up for you bet your ass he’s signing himself up for too

And he’s a GREAT coach ugh he always knows how to handle the kids, and given his profession is a bargain deal, they’re super lucky to have him there tbh

The other parents try and flirt with him and he just freezes up and panics because he can’t respond to them like he usually would to people given his kids are involved, so he just starts rambling about how great you are

Takes them to practices he’s needed at sometimes and before bringing them in, practically gives the whole team a death threat. They have fun there, though, and he’s screeching instructions and insults out at them with his kid asleep in his arms

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

✰ bokuto

He cries when he finds out he’s going to be a dad. Big, ugly tears, and crushes you with his hugs. Wastes no time whatsoever in bragging to everyone about how lucky he must be to be having your kids ugh hes a cutie

Also cries when they’re born, and it’s visible in every photo. It’s heartwarming, though, and you’re ecstatic to see just how excited he is. You certainly know you’ve made the right choice

When he’s away for games, he always calls to tell his kids a bedtime story and tell them he loves them. Even if it’s 12pm or 3am for him, he keeps his alarm set to go off for 9pm at home.

When he can’t tell a story because he’ll be in the middle of a game, he begs, BEGS, for someone on the sidelines to answer the incoming facetime call and face the camera towards him. When it’s done and over, he’s handed his phone and it met with their sleeping faces, with an msby flag clutched loosely in their tiny fists

He always makes up for having to travel by taking them out individually so they all feel special, whether it’s for ice cream or to a movie. It’s their choice, and he gives them his undivided attention the entire time

They’re completely spoiled by him, honestly. Their allowance is cut off by you because he’s not even leaving enough for him to buy himself lunch-

Shows up to practice when then they’re born just to show them off, excitedly displaying his blessing to all of his teammates before promptly tucking them away into their carseat and leaving before they can make him stay-

✰ kuroo

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

Sends his kids to private school, but makes sure they engage in community activities; he still wants them to have the same neighborhood kid experience that he did rather than being stuck up like their classmates, and will push them towards sports

Carries them around on his shoulders nearly everywhere he goes, when they’re babies always has them strapped to his chest and insists he be the one to hold them when you’re out and can’t use a stroller

Buys EVERY single parenting book he can find. Even the ones in the dollar store bargain bins, and compiles every common suggestion into a spreadsheet. By the time the baby’s born he has 12 pages on every book he’s read, everything he’s learned from it, complete with statistics and a works cited page

Takes classes! Is very nervous and doesn’t really know much about babies so he really wants to just make sure he can’t do anything wrong, and like the nerd he is learns as much as possible

He may as well be a pediatrician at this point tbh

Keeps stuffed animals in the bottom drawer of his desk at work for when he brings them in, and will make a bed where his feet would usually go for them to nap on time so they won’t interfere with your sleeping at home

The dad that is angry that math isn’t done the same way as when he was in school and they both have a whole entire moment at the dining room table

642 notes · View notes

peach-pops · 4 years

Text

Famous S/O HC

This is very self-indulgent cause I’m the type to make up fake scenarios where I’m famous and going on interviews and press tours asfjdks. If you guys want, I’ll make more of these! Oikawa+Tsukishima underneath the cut!

How The Haikyuu Boys Find out that You’re Famous

-Bokuto- (Pro-Athlete)

Bokuto knew you were an athlete but he had NO IDEA that you were super famous. Like he always thought it was normal for people to come up to you after your game to ask for pictures or autographs ???

I mean that’s why he was so drawn to you because of how much passion you had for your said sport cause duh he could relate

One day when you two were out at the mall, he told you that he needed to get new shoes to work out in and so the two of you went into the Nike store so he could look around

He was looking through the shoe aisle and after almost two hours of looking through the same shelves, he finally found a pair he liked (shopping with him is so time-consuming but that’s for a different day)

when he found a pair he liked, the two of you made your way to the cashier to pay for his shoes. As the cashier was ringing Bokuto up, his eyes traveled up to the large poster/banner that was directly behind the cashier’s area and smiled to himself

It was a colorful promotional banner with a bunch of top athletes from around the world and as he’s looking at the banner, he sees this girl and he nudged you like,” Babe, she looks like you!”

You look up from your phone and sure enough, you’re plastered on the wall posing with other athletes

“ Oh yeah, I didn’t think this shoot would come out until next month.”

Bokuto didn’t even process what you just said but my dude behind the cash register stopped scanning the shoes to turn his head to the banner and he turned PALE.

He even does a double-take cause hold up, is there seriously a pro athlete in front of him?

“ Oh my god...You’re Y/N L/N!”

“ How do you know my…” Bokuto furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the banner again and he even squinted like hold up

AND IT ALL SUDDENLY CLICKS FOR HIM

“ Y/N? That’s you!”

“ Yeah-”

Bokuto can’t even believe it and he totally spaced out when you take a selfie with the guy behind the register with the banner in the background like UMMM HIS GIRLFRIEND IS FAMOUS WHAAAAAA

“ YOU’RE ON A NIKE POSTER OH MY GOD! LOOK YOU’RE ON THIS MAGAZINE WHA-”

Dude is totally making a scene in this store but he does not give a single fuck

As he’s walking you back home, he’s looking up all of your stats and even watches a compilation called “ 100 times Y/N L/N was a beast!” and he’s just shooketh

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE A FREAKING PRO ATHLETE??”

“ I didn’t think it was a big deal I mean, you’re pretty famous too babe.”

“ I DON’T HAVE A PROMOTIONAL BANNER WITH NIKE!”

He’s not salty at all he’s just a bit emo cause he felt bad that he never even noticed before

As your fame grows, so does Bokuto’s with his volleyball career. You and him are described as a powerhouse couple and it really hypes the two of you up like THE POWER YALL POSSESS TOGETHER ON AND OFF THE COURT/FIELD/WHATEVER

Lots of training together and joint interviews together like Wired autocomplete or your favorite ~THIRST TWEETS~

“ ~Bokuto could spike a volleyball in my face, crack my nose in two different places, and I’d thank him~ oh my god that’s horrible I would never do that.”

“ I mean, you’ve done it before haven’t you?”

“ That was different anyway, your turn Y/N!”

*passes that clunky ass bucket*

“ ~Y/N L/N, please tie me up and- oh my god this is too dirty I can’t! My mom will watch this!”

If you’re a pro volleyball player, you two get compared a lot and it bugged you at first since you felt like you two were two very different in terms of playing style but after a while, you both started to encourage the idea of your own playful rivalries like comparing stats and wins

But if you’re in a different sport, you two get asked questions like who’s sport is harder or what it would be like if you two switched sports like??? But because you two are in different fields, you both have such major respect for each other cause you can’t even imagine how much hard work it is

He absolutely does not mind it at all when fans approach you two if you guys are on a date. He knows how important your relationship with fans are, especially if they’re younger girls who look up to you as a role model

Bokuto will fall in love with you all over again whenever you crouch down to a younger fan ughhhghgh

He doesn’t care for the paparazzi to be honest. he knows it comes with the territory but he will get a bit protective if they start to get too close to you

“ Hey, we’re just trying to get back home so just let us through please,” but if it continues, he will not give a single fuck about being nice,” dude, what did I just say? Back off!”

Mad!bokuto will be the death of me

He knows how stressful it is being a pro athlete but he will always remind you how proud he is of you and if he ever sees you overworking, he will make sure you take a day off even if that means just napping together all day

Long story short, Bokuto would be amazing to have by your side as you’re navigating being in the public eye and you may quote me on that

-Oikawa- (Actress)

This attention whore I swear

So Oikawa knows that you act but he doesn’t know that you’re an actress (which is basically the same thing)

Like as a kid you were in commercials and you had a small role in a tv show but it wasn’t like it was super popular.

But what Oikawa didn’t know was that a couple months before you two started dating, you were flown out to America to star in an upcoming and highly anticipated movie

since you were under a contract, you weren’t allowed to talk about it until the trailer dropped and it ate away at you because all you wanted to do was tell people especially your boyfriend

ANYWAY He decided to take you on a date to the movie theatre and as you two were getting popcorn, these girls came up to you two

“ Hi! Is it okay if we can get a picture with you?”

“Of course, how could I ever turn down my lovely fans-”

“ No, not you, Y/N!”

Oikawa is just flabbergasted as the girls hand their phone to him so he can take a photo of you with your fans he deadass thinks it’s some prank

After the girls left, he gave you a weird-ass gaze and asked you what that was about but you just shrugged and told him that maybe it was because of ur mini part in that one tv show

So he thinks nothing about it and teased you that it was so cute how you had a mini fanbase and you weren’t going to lie, it was pretty freaking cool

You guys entered your theatre and got settled into your seats as the movie trailers started to play.

(Oikawa loves watching trailers like this dude is the type to take you 45 minutes before the movie actually begins JUST to make sure he doesn’t miss anything)

As you’re chilling in your seat, you see the trailer to your movie so you do your best to keep your eyes on your boyfriend and the screen at the same time cause you want to see his reaction

The trailer plays and Oikawa seemed to be interested in the movie but again, it’s like any normal trailer UNTIL he hears your voice coming from the screen and he immediately sits up in his seat

“ Wait- was that your voice?”

“ My voice?”

“ Nevermind, I think I’m going crazy-”

AND THEN HE SEES YOU ON THE SCREEN! Since it’s a trailer it was just about five seconds of an intense/dramatic scene but it’s enough for Oikawa to lose his mind

“ OH MY GOD THAT IS YOU!”

This prompts some people in the audience to shush him but Oikawa doesn’t care

“ OH SHUSH THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND! Y/N! THAT’S YOU!”

“ Toru oh my god yes that’s me but stop screaming or they’re gonna kick us out!” You whispered loudly as Oikawa clamped his hand over his mouth

He’s so happy and he’s beaming with pride so he pulls out his phone and records the trailer to post it in his group chat cause duh he wants to show the boys how proud he is but when he sees you kissing someone else for .6 seconds, Oikawa just (ㆆ_ㆆ) and stops recording

“ Are you okay babe?”

“ Was that real or CGI?”

“ The building crumbling is all CGI-”

“ No...the kiss.”

THIS DUMBASS LMAO HE’S SO SALTY AND JEALOUS

“ Why didn’t you tell me you were this good?”

“ I- I was always this good! But I couldn’t say anything, I’m under a contract!”

“ But you could’ve told me! I wouldn’t have told a soul!”

That’s a whole ass lie, if he knew, he would’ve bragged about it to Iwaizumi

But foreal, Oikawa is such a supportive boyfriend like as months pass and your following gets bigger, he just gushes cause yep that’s his famous girlfriend ( he will 100% use you sometimes for clout)

this dude LOVES bragging to his friends that he’s dating a famous actress. Like he was always showing you off and hyping you up before but it gives him such an ego boost when people find out the two of you are dating

Oikawa is an attention whore like I said so you know whenever the paparazzi appears, he eats it up and will pose which is SOO embarrassing like pls why do u do this

But there are some days where you don’t want to get recognized and he 100% understands so the two of you will wear disguises as to not get recognized. One time you two ended up getting caught so he just grabbed your hand and the two of you SPRINTED back to the subway

He will have all of your movies on DVD and if your movie is on a streaming service, he will buy a membership JUST so he can watch your movie

Sometimes you’ll come over to his house and he’ll always try to make you watch your movie for the millionth time

“ Toru, can we please watch something else?”

“ But my extremely talented and beautiful girlfriend is in this movie why would I watch anything but this?”

Don’t be fooled he WILL skip through any kissing scenes or scenes where your character shows any type of affection to another character

LOVESSS tagging along with you to photoshoots, interviews, red carpet events ALL OF IT

Red carpet events give him a chance to dress up and lowkey his outfit is always one of the best there. He won’t outshine you per se but fans actually look forward to see what he’ll be wearing and he’s not even in any of the movies I-

Your schedule gets pretty busy once your career takes off and even though there are certain time periods where you’re across the world, it won’t stop him from sending huge bouquets to your set

Basically, Oikawa is such a supportive boyfriend and is overall so proud of how you managed to juggle your studies with your acting career 10/10 best boy

-Tsukishima- ( Musician/Singer)

You and Tsuki had only been dating for a bit and since it was all still new, he kept it on the down-low because the last thing he needed was his teammates pestering him about a girl

Tsuki knew you liked to sing and write songs but you never told him about how well known you were simply because he never asked

He just assumed it was a side thing for you UNTIL he showed up to practice and some of his teammates were huddled around Noya watching something on his tablet

“ Move your elbow! I can’t see-”

“ Watch your hand-”

“ Shush! I can’t hear her-”

“ What are you idiots watching?” Tsuki asked as he craned his neck to look at the screen

No one answered him so he started to watch the music video and low and behold, your face popped up on screen singing along to your lyrics that he’s heard a million times

Tsuki is a bit taken aback cause why is his girlfriend in such a high production video and why is his heart feeling some type of way seeing you in that outfit

Like lemme just take off my glasses and see that again ( •_•)>⌐■-■

” Where did you guys get that video?”

“ What do you mean, it’s online? She’s trending right now-”

“ God all of her songs are so good I want to see her live-”

“ I can’t believe she goes to school with us-”

“ I wish she would step on me-”

“ Hey, don’t talk about my girlfriend like that,” Tsuki said dryly as he glares at the back of Noya’s head, which prompted everyone to turn around

“ You’re dating Y/N L/N? Ha! That’s funny Tsuki!” Tanaka laughed as he slapped Tsuki in the back harshly

At first, even Tsuki was questioning himself like wait, is he even sure you’re dating? cause this girl in the music video was NOT the same girl he was on the phone with last night

If you had asked Tsuki 10 seconds ago if he would ever reveal to the guys he was dating someone, he would say helllll no but now that he knew about this, he didn’t care about keeping the relationship a secret especially if they were thirsting over his girl

He had all the proof in the world that he was dating you but took the salty approach to prove it to them. He pulled out his phone and shot you a text even though you were in class

Tsuki: Come to the gym right now

Y/N: is everything ok?

Tsuki: just come quickly

You left your class to “use the restroom” and practically rushed to the gym thinking that something was wrong with your boyfriend. You slid into the gym, causing the boys to look up from the tablet and you ignored their shocked faces

“ Where’s Tsukishima?”

The boys slowly did a doubletake from the music video back to you to make sure they were seeing correctly and even though you were a bit embarrassed to hear your song playing in the background, you were just worried about Tsuki

Tsuki walked out to you from behind the guys and you rushed over to him

“ Babe, what’s wrong?”

“ BABE?!”

The boys were shocked and the second years practically FAINTED in your presence

Tsuki pulled the tablet from Noya’s cold, dead hands and showed you the screen,” Care to explain this?”

“ I- Um, it’s my music video…”

“Well are you famous or something?”

“ I wouldn’t say famous…more like upcoming artist?”

And then the next week you’re a nominee for the VMA’s asjfkghdk

honestly out of Oikawa and Bokuto, he probably handles it the best on the outside, he doesn’t make too big of a deal out of your fame but on the inside he’s can’t even believe it

He doesn’t go around shouting to the world that he’s dating the Y/N L/N but he has his own ways of supporting you. He’ll listen to your songs whenever he’s walking in the hallway or doing homework at home and he’ll catch himself liking tweets that are about you as long as they’re positive

He’s def the type to argue with people online if they say mean comments and will report/block them before you can even see it

IDC how much he tries to hide it, he is deadass ur biggest fan. Tsuki will tease you about how nervous you act during interviews/award shows but he will ALWAYS go with you to ease your nerves even if he had prior plans

If you ever write a song for him, he gets SO RED AND EMBARRASSED so pls do that

Will def call you baka for doing so but deep down, he’ll fall in love with you even more cause you’re able to put into words how he feels about you

I don’t think he’ll be too comfortable with you posting about him but he knows he can’t do anything about people taking photos of the two of you out together in public

Tsuki would never be rude to your fans though like if you were recognized during a date, he wouldn’t make a fit and will take photos of you and your fans to speed the process along

He HATES HATES HATES the paparazzi’s like it’s one thing for fans to come up to you when yall are in public but he gets mad when the paparazzi harasses you with questions/pictures/comments

“ Y/N! Turn around and give a smile!”

“ Not right now, I’m sorry.”

“ Oh come on, don’t be shy! Just show the camera a little skin!”

“ How about you shut the hell up before I smack that camera out of your face.”

Head empty, no thoughts, just thinking about Mad!tsuki

It’s a big adjustment for Tsukishima that he has a girlfriend in the entertainment sphere but he knows how hard you’ve worked for it and he would never tell you to stop living your dream

Sometimes he’ll feel insecure because you’re so successful and he doesn’t want to hold you back but since he can’t imagine being without you, he just pushes those thoughts away and enjoys every minute with you

1K notes · View notes

embrassemoi · 3 years

Text

Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 30

Pairings: Sirius B, F!Reader, Remus L Warnings: Language, angst, meeting new characters Important Question: do you guys prefer shorter or longer chapters? also, I listened to first love / late spring by Mitski for this ch if anyone else wants to listen along!

【 Masterlist | Previous Chapter | ao3 】

Chapter 30: Like a Tall Child

━━━━━━━━━༻✩༺━━━━━━━━━

Remus was alone for the trip back to King’s Cross; not wanting to be stuck with James or Peter who would only pester him. He mulled over his thoughts as his head rested against the window, watching the scenery whip by. But the more he had time to think, it caused more guilt to build; they were only trying to be supportive. They cared so much, still willing to associated with someone like… him. And all he did was push them away. He didn’t deserve real mates like them.

Remus tried to distract himself: knitting, drawing — reading next year’s material, but settled on pulling out his cartridge of cigarettes. About to light one, his attention was drawn to the soft knocking on the carriage door. Lily was there, waving before coming in.

“Hey,” she said, closing the door and sitting down. “I wanted to say bye for the summer.”

He exhaled, now itching for the rush of nicotine while Lily fidgeted in her seat. He already knew why she was there.

“Sev — Snape — came to me a couple days ago…”

It was impossible to escape, wasn’t it?

“They’re mad, his theories… He’s been telling me the entire year and kept going on about this one story… wild story of you and Y/N and the other Marauders…” Lily looked up nervously.

Instead of getting angry, Remus closed his eyes, feeling himself sink further into the cushions, centring his breathing. “What did he say?”

“He’s been telling me you’re a… a...”

“Werewolf?”

She froze at the word, having to take a deep inhale and suddenly looked paler than usual. Remus wanted to jump out of the moving train. “Yes,” she stated, “But I told him to bugger off.”

Lily stopped again, meeting his eyes. “So… It’s true?”

“You can’t tell anyone.”

Lily sat straight, leaning over and even putting a hand on her chest, close to her heart. “I’ll take it to the grave.”

━━━━━━━━━༻✩༺━━━━━━━━━

(Letters between Y/N and friends)

To my lovely Whiskers, I hope your summer has been grand so far. Are you sure you can’t spend time with me? It’s been so lonely. Prongs

━━━༻✩༺━━━

Dear Bambi, Unfortunately, I can’t. Mom’s dragging me to New York for the month. Something about being invited to do a special surgery. Said leaving me alone will do no good. I promise to bring you back a souvenir? How are things with Black? Whiskers

━━━༻✩༺━━━

My adoring, wonderful Whiskers, And it hasn’t. My parents are concerned. They’ve been trying to get me to talk about what happened but I can’t. Dumbledore and McGonagall have already started their punishments. He lost over 200 points for next year, got detention for half the year and he can’t try out for the Quidditch team if he wanted to. I wonder what they’ll do next. I love souvenirs! All things Muggle! Yours truly, Prongs/Bambi/James

━━━༻✩༺━━━

July 20th, 1976 Meet me in Times Square at 1 pm on the 8th. There’s a bench outside a bagel store, there’s no way you’ll miss it. Until next time, Matthew G.

━━━༻✩༺━━━

¡Hola! Greetings from Barcelona! My brothers took a few weeks off to spend time with me to come to Spain with my parents! They’re dragging me to a football game later. I heard they call it ‘soccer’ in North America. M. McKinnon

━━━༻✩༺━━━

Y/N L/N, Hello, I hope you’re having a wonderful break. Your letters are the highlight of my day and they keep me busy. So I hate to inform you that you need to stop sending me letters for now. I’m not supposed to be getting any and my parents are going to start confiscating them if I receive any more. I’m sorry. I can’t wait to see you in the fall. R.A.B

━━━༻✩༺━━━

I’m visiting Tuney with my parents in a few days. She moved to London for a clerical job in March and we’re meeting her boyfriend, Vernon! He sounds nice but she’s told me she’s nervous about me and magic around him. Lily

━━━༻✩༺━━━

Petals! I’m sure you’ll be fine! Who couldn't love you? Write back and tell me what happens!

━━━༻✩༺━━━

Whiskers, I’m with my parents up in Wales in their cottage. I was born there before having to move for my Dad’s work. Also, I think I have to get a rabbit. James always told people that I got my scars from a poorly behaved rabbit and if I’m not seen with one soon, people will start to question. Remus

━━━༻✩༺━━━

Does this mean I get to call you Moony now? Professor Moony? Wales? And that’s where that small accent comes from. It bleeds through when you’re concentrating or relaxing. And a rabbit? At least they’re cute! I’m sure you can just Transfigure a book though. Y/N

━━━༻✩༺━━━

Professor Moony? Haha, okay! And really? I never knew. I’m kind of embarrassed now. I’ve thought about that but at this point, I think it would be easier just to have one.

━━━༻✩༺━━━

Oh no! It’s nice! Gives you personality. I think it suits you well How about… Moody Moony near full moons? And Moody Moony Mondays on Mondays.

━━━༻✩༺━━━

Now you’ve gone too far. Bloody fucking Moody Moony? Have you ever heard of Mad-Eye Moody?

━━━༻✩༺━━━

Would you prefer 'my Moony' then?

━━━༻✩༺━━━

Yes, actually.

━━━━━━━━━༻✩༺━━━━━━━━━

August 6th, 1976

“Hurry up!”

She thudded down from the top of the staircase, dragging her trunk behind while her mother sped out of the terminal door, flagging down one of the zipping yellow taxis with her luggage in hand.

It was strange, being with her mother again after almost a year apart. She hadn’t come to King’s Cross again, instead sending her a bus fare in anticipation of school ending. She hoped for some sort of recognition, any kind of sign that she was missed but was only given a side-armed hug and delved back into work.

Y/N wondered if maybe she just didn’t want her there, hoping she would get lost and never come back. She only had been on a bus in London twice, therefore almost ensuring that she would get lost and would have stayed lost if she didn’t have extra spare change to use a payphone.

Ignoring the crackle of whispers as she strode to the cab, people blatantly stared at her unnatural coloured hair, as she entered the car, slamming the door shut.

“Where ya ladies off too?” Said the driver, pulling out a map from their car door.

“Cranberry Street, Brooklyn Heights.”

It was a quiet drive, aside from the driver drumming their fingers on the steering wheel at the sound of the Bee Gees blasting in the background. She watched other cabs whipping back and forth, people going on with their days, the dirty streets and building under construction.

“Hey, mom?” She asked, reasoning now was a good time to talk about her OWL results. She’d gotten them mere seconds before leaving their house back in London and she’d been putting off looking at the results until now.

She only grunted, flicking through one of her medical journals, jotting down notes. “I don’t have time right now.”

Y/N sighed, that familiar sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach expanded again. “It’s kind of important.”

“Not now.” She waved her hand and ended the conversation.

Thirty minutes later, the cab came to a stop as they grabbed their luggage and strolled up to the brownstone building they were renting for the month.

━━━━━━━━━༻✩༺━━━━━━━━━

Jet lag got to her as she unwinded lounged until finally getting up from bed that morning as her mom rushed around the house. She frantically was putting on shoes, dressed impeccably sharp, no doubt in hopes to make an impression as her eyes flew across her journal. Her feet were scrambling to the door as she flung her bag over her shoulder.

“Have a good d —” And then the door slammed shut.

She stared blankly at the door for a while and then turned around, getting ready for her day. A daint drum of excitement yet nervousness built up, pushing aside that sinking feeling. Today she was going to see Matthew again.

Having a few hours to spare, Y/N walked around, marvelling at the tall buildings and lights before heading into the heart of Time Square, immediately spotting the bench outside the bagel shop. She sat, waiting for him anxiously. She made sure to wear a hat, covering any sight of hair to avoid weird stares and chatter.

But then a few minutes turned into ten and then twenty minutes later.

Slipping out the letter again to make sure, she re-read it. Time Square, at one, today… near the bagel shop…

“Where y’at?”

Her head lifted as she jumped to her feet and pulled each other into a tight hug.

“Matthew!”

His face nuzzled into the side of her neck, arms wrapped around tight as her face pressed gently into his chest. Eventually, she pulled away - arms outstretched to get a good look.

Matthew Gaplin looked different. His hair, coarse and thick, had grown. He was taller, filled out more, tan skin became even tanner from the beating sun and he filled out.

His smile was large. “S’been so long.”

She gave him a small whack!

“Ow!” He jumped back, “What’s wrong wiv ya?”

“I thought you stood me up.”

“Sorry, doing something for Mom. Had to wait on line forever.”

He looked down bashfully, now staring at the hat. His face made a disgusted look. “It’s disgusting out. Why are you wearing —” Curiously lifting the hat, his lids widened astronomically as Y/N grabbed it, covering her wild hair.

“I told you,” she hissed.

“Right the Potter sport!” He gave a full-body laugh. “Oh come on, I wanna see it again!”

But her hand clamped down on that hat to prevent him from pulling it off. “No! The Muggles keep judging —“

“Muggles?” Matthew’s brows furrowed. “The fuck is a Muggle? Sounds… demeaning.”

“Sorry, it’s what they call No-Majs.”

“Ahh,” and then he moved to loop an arm around her shoulders and continued to walk. “Too good to use ol’American terms?”

“Turned British snob.”

They laughed loudly as he took charge, showing her around the city. There was something so calming amid the chaos of New York. The bustle, low chatter and his enthusiasm made it all the better.

Soon enough, after hours of walking around, they both came to a stop in a large park as they grew hungry. Matthew disappeared for a while, leaving her alone to lay down on the soft grass before returning, holding up a brown bag with two drinks.

“Got us bagels wiv schmear.”

She mumbled out a thanks and took it from him as he sat down on the grass beside her.

“Missed ya, really.”

She shoved him playfully, his head dropping bashfully. “Shut up.”

It stayed quiet for a bit, as they listened to the birds chirping until he broke the silence again. “Ya thinkin’ ‘bout moving back eventually, right?”

“Why?”

Matthew gave her a haughty look, contemplating his words carefully. “Do ya… not know? They’re losing the war.”

Momentary terror gripped her heart but she swallowed it down fast. “Matthew,” her voice dropped, “Please, I want a fun summer… can we not talk about the war? I have more than enough time to worry later."

He wanted to keep talking, worried for his good friend but he refrained, biting down on his lip and nodded stiffly.

“So…” he thought to himself, contemplating how to change the direction of their conversation and fast. “Fess up, what’s been goin’ on over there.”

“Huh?”

“You’re telling me you haven't — what is it called? Kissing?”

“Snogging?”

He smiled. “You’re telling me you haven’t snogged anyone of those rich Old-Majs yet?”

“Nope!” She spoke too quickly and voice was a little too high.

“Liar. Ya going tell me who then?” Y/N looked down, hand going to fiddle with the fem of her clothes while Matthew shook her. “Come on! Tell me!”

“Fine! His name is Sirius Black.”

Matthew's eyes widened in recognition as he sat upright. “You don’t mean the Black family? Gawd! No way!”

“What?”

“And ya don’t even know!” Matthew was full of amusement. “They’re one of the oldest wizarding families out there! Are you still wiv him?”

Y/N stopped, trying to conceal a chuckle. She didn’t have it in her to lie anymore. “No! He almost got me killed.”

“Ha. Ha, very clever. Fine, don’t tell me.”

“You? Anything exciting?”

Matthew snorted. “Fought over a fin if that counts as exciting.”

“You know that’s not what I'm talking about,” she teased.

He abruptly became very serious and it had Y/N sitting up straighter. Matthew breathed in, this time not looking at her but instead at his metal pop can. “I’ve… had a tumble wiv a few... didn’t matter their… genders.”

It took a second for his words to click in but when it did, her mouth fell open and saw his face fall as she pulled him into a tight hug. “I don’t care who you cop, just be safe and have fun.”

He mumbled into her shoulder. “Been rehearsing that since I knew you were visitin’.”

“Love ya, could never judge you.” He tried to look insulted from the babying but prickled with tears before wiping them away quickly.

“Bless ya!”

“You alright though?”

“Now that I know your reaction, never betta. Now, you talk, enough ‘bout me.”

After making sure he was okay, Y/N prattled about Hogwarts. Matthew would pop in a few times, asking her to clarify or ask what words the British used — he often called her his ‘British insight.’ She rambled much about her day, her new friends but made sure to leave out a few details. Matthew became peculiarly silent through most of her speech. It wasn’t like him to not try to speak up, but he looked at her with something she’d only seen a few times prior.

Matthew stared at her for a long time, analyzing with underlying adoration. “What did them Brits do to ya?”

She looked at him, waiting for him to continue. “Ya sound different.” He says calmly, going to sip on his pop. “Talk funny.”

“Tawk funny,” she mocked and earned a shove. “Different? How so?”

“Everything ‘bout you seems different. Y’look happier,” he smiles, although there was a twinge of hurt. “Talk softer, look different — move differently and ya voice sounds different… but the same.”

She takes a bit of her food. “I hope that isn’t a bad thing.”

Matthew smiles gently, sheepish but there. “Not at all.”

She smiled back. Matthew always knew how to make her smile and it felt good, normal.

“Happy looks good on ya.”

━━━━━━━━━༻✩༺━━━━━━━━━

She finally sat down, tired from the long day she spent wandering the city. But it wasn’t long until a tapping sound came from the window. Celeste was there, waiting with a letter in her beak. She walked up to her, letting her fly inside and opened the letter.

Got my OWL results. Outstanding in Astronomy, DADA, Charms, Transfigs. Exceeds Expectations in everything else but an Acceptable in Potions. Moony

She re-read that last part. Remus getting Acceptable in Potions? Her attention travelled to the stark white envelope peeking out from the side pocket of her carry-on. She marched up to it, ripping it open and scanned the paper.

Outstanding in Transfiguration, Potions and Herbology, Arithmancy. Exceeds Expectations in everything else except Poor in History of Magic. She cringed at that.

She immediately got up from her seat. Rushing over to the master bedroom, peeking her head in. “Mom?” She said quietly, “Can I talk to you.”

“Didn’t I tell you I was busy?” Her voice cut through. “It’s not the time to be a nuisance.”

A scorching feeling of anger thrummed through her but kept her voice low and steady. “That was a few days ago.”

"My answer didn't change."

Any semblance of calm vanished. “It’s about my OWLs. My future. I need some sort of guidance.”

“I wouldn’t understand them,” she sighed and peered up. There was an odd expression, borderlining on confusion and something else. “It’s not the same. I’m not a… witch like you are. I don’t know how to help you.”

“I’ll make it into No-Maj terms?” Y/N’s voice was tight and came rushing over to where she sat on the couch. And laid out her examination results. “Look, an O is the same as getting an A! It’s the highest grade you can get. And here,” she pointed, “My teacher, Professor Slughorn, invites me to parties because of my work in Potions class. I’m one of his top students.”

She glanced at her mom excitedly but was met with a look of annoyance and slight judgement. But she continued, “A-and in Herbology I'm doing excellent too! I was becoming interested in becoming a Healer. I told you in my letters. It’s similar to being —”

“I’m sorry,” her mother said but it didn’t have any trace of guilt or sorrow, “I’m busy and you’re getting in the way of work — my achievements — that you know are important.”

“Are mine not important?”

A thick, profound silence filled the space between them. Everything about the connotation had her averting her body, feeling the sinking in her chest explode. From the war, traumatic near death experience and her mother's constant aloof nature, it was her cracking point.

Snatching the OWLs results, she walked out the door, shutting it gently before diving into her room; throwing the covers over her head.

All the New-Maj and No-Maj children were told stories of the Boogeyman. To Y/N, it felt comparable to reverting to a small child as she tucked herself into a tight ball. She recalled watching all the other children running up their parents, being roped with large hugs and smiles, surrounded with infinite quantities of love as they left the school playground. She remembered being envious, wanting to have two parents as the images of the Boogeyman drew near.

There was an overwhelming sense to scream — to cry out for guidance as the knot in her stomach grew. Instead of her mother coming to her rescue — to reassure, to give any sense of security or safety while other parents would scare off the Boogeyman or monsters ready to nip at their children’s toes under the bed, Y/N was left in the dark as all sense of relief or love vanished. It left her vulnerable, exposed to the monsters lurking in the dark.

Her mother may have not been physically absent but it sure felt like it.

━━━━━━━━━༻✩༺━━━━━━━━━

【 Next Chapter 】

Slang dictionary:

Fin = $5 / five dollar bill Bagels with schmear = bagels with cream cheese Wait on line = the same as 'Wait in line' Pop = Canadian slang for soda / soft drinks Sport / old sport = (depending on the context) a term of endearment similar to buddy, pal, friend

112 notes · View notes