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marvel-lous-guy · 2 years
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Tony: *walks into the kitchen at 9am and sees peter eating breakfast*
Tony: what are you eating?
Peter: a waffle with chocolate and caramel sauce, whipped cream, chocolate chips and sprinkles. Oh, and peanuts.
Tony: ...
Peter: I'm not having it with ice cream, so technically it's not a dessert
Tony: kid, it's not even a dessert at this point. We've passed it being a dessert. That's just straight up diabetes
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qu1nns-cha0s · 2 months
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Marvelous incorrect quotes part 10
(pulled from a quote generator)
Tony, texting Peter during his patrol: text me when you’re home safely
Peter, still having Spider-Man sass: I’m home dangerously
Tony: Stop.
Peter: I’m home lethally
Peter: I am home in extremely lackadaicial and downright reckless fashion.
Tony, already gaining gray hairs: all i’m asking is for you to tell May and i that you’re home and not floating down a river, kid.
Peter: you’re no fun, i’ll be home in an hour!
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ironrad · 1 year
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Peter completely drenched in a towel:
Ned: Woah dude you okay?
Peter: Yeah. I just slipped and fell in the pool.
MJ: Shit, did the lifegaurd come help you out?
Peter:
Peter: I am the lifegaurd.
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diazevan · 6 months
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For some reason my TikTok is filled with people hating on irondad, so the irondad enthusiastic inside of me has awoken.
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forgetful-nerd · 2 years
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Harley: *sulking in a corner*
Tony: what’s wrong with him?
Peter: Shuri jinxed him, and now he can’t speak until someone says his full name. I’ve been basically his interpreter all day.
Harley: *starts flailing around and aggressively pointing at his mother*
Tony: What’s he saying?
Peter: he wants you to unjinx him.
Tony: Ha! Fat chance! It’s actually quite in here for once!
Harley: *stomps his feet on the ground, throws up his hands in an exaggerated motion, and then stomps away*
Peter: he didn’t like that answer.
Tony: yeah I think I could interpret that myself.
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dragonpyre · 1 year
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Interviewer: your son was killed. Would you ever want or seek out vengeance for him?
Bruce Wayne: vengeance is a slippery slope. Ultimately it solves nothing and only brings more pain into the world. I’ve wanted it in the past but I know better now and know that I need to *be* better than what they did to me
Interviewer: and Mr. Stark, if anything happened to your son, would you seek vengeance?
Tony Stark: oh I’d kill the motherfucker straight up
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tincanmans · 2 years
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Feige is a hack and Iman should have gotten all the creative power over her show.
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hayleymaltman · 1 year
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I want those fics where everyone looked after each other, where like 5 times Tony needed someone and the one time he gave back in return. I want those where iron man basically adopted every kid with some traumatic backstory who even just BLINKS at him and goes "that's what I want. I want him" and Steve likes to cook, thor liked poptarts, Clint liked to live in the vents like a fucking feral IS THAT TOO KUCH TO ASK FORRRR
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starkskypines · 2 years
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who needs sleep when you have family?
new fic just dropped about Irondad and Spiderson! Sleep-deprived Tony texts Peter and (hopefully) hilarity ensues. 
read on ao3
>>>>
“Muffins, Peter,” Aunt May calls from the kitchen. “I know you haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.”
“Coming.” Peter scrolls through the notifications on his phone. He has a lot from Ned. Some more from MJ. A lot of memes sent in their Instagram group chat. He smiles at that. And then even more Tiktoks have been sent to him as well. He sighs. He’ll look at those later. And…he frowns. Mr. Stark has texted him.
Mr. Stark had said that Peter wouldn’t be coming into Stark Industries on his spring break. He was a kid, he needed to live a little, or something like that. Peter didn’t know how to explain that going to Stark Industries was fun, so he agreed to not come in this week. So there shouldn’t be five messages from Mr. Stark.
Peter opens those first as he wanders through the apartment toward the kitchen.
What do you think the life expectancy for cats would be on a world with a different gravity level? Like longer or shorter? We think too much gravity would be detrimental right? The daily wear and tear, but what if it’s not? What if it affects cats differently? Cats are weird little freaks. You can’t trust them. They’ll stab you in the back. But they’re also great cuddlers when they choose. Humph. Maybe I should start calling Natasha a cat.
Had Mr. Stark actually typed out the word “humph?” And did he just imply that the Black Widow is a cuddler?
No. No bad idea. She’d shoot me. Have you met Natasha, Peter? You should.
That answers Peter’s question if Mr. Stark was aware of who he was texting. The texts came in close to noon too, so Peter can’t understand why they sound like a drunken ramble.
I am running on 1 hour of sleep for the past 48 hours. So sorry, Peter. I will text Pepper now.
Pepper told me to sleep. Body no like sleep. And besides, I’m thriving.
Peter makes a humming noise as he steps into the kitchen. Mr. Stark being sleep-deprived does make the most sense here. He’s been like this before in the labs, but never to this extent.
Mr. Stark, I think you should maybe get some sleep. Like a little nap.
Peter sends the text and hopes he’s not overstepping. He’s not afraid Mr. Stark is gonna fire him for a mistake nowadays–not even a mistake in etiquette. And besides Mr. Stark texted him first! What was he supposed to do? Ignore him? That would be rude.
read on ao3
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yes-i-am-happyaspie · 3 months
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Make Yourself at Home by happyaspie
No Archive Warning Apply | Rated G | chapter 5/6 | Irondad. May Parker and Tony Stark Friendship | Platonic Relationships | Found Family | Reverse Trope
Summary: In most stories, Peter tends to make himself at home in Tony's penthouse. They have sleepovers and movie nights, and Peter has everything he needs right there.
Instead, I present to you: Tony gradually finding a second home within the walls of the Parkers' apartment.
[5 Times Tony made an excuse to visit the Parkers' home. And one time the Parkers made an excuse to visit Tony's]
[Excerpt Below the Cut]
The first time Tony showed up at the Parkers’ apartment, it was an impulsive decision. The formally rogue, semi-forgiven Avengers had moved back into the tower and within a week he’d needed a reprieve. Upon that realization, Peter and May’s faces had popped into his head. He didn't oppose it. He simply took off without so much as a text to announce his pending arrival. Although he did have the foresight to buy a bottle of wine before showing up on their doorstep. It was no Romanée-Conti, but he supposed the tiny corner store could only offer so much. With little debate, he’d snagged the priciest moscato off the shelf, paid a whopping twelve dollars and trekked his way up to the Parkers’ front door.
May cracked the door open, just wide enough to see into the hall. “Tony?” she questioned, then rapidly shut the door. The sound of the security chain being released could be heard on the other side. Less than a second later, the door reopened. May stood there for a moment, her eyebrows bunched together in a way that made it look like she was mentally assessing the situation. “Peter left for patrol about an hour ago. Was he- did he forget you two had plans?”
With his hands tucked neatly behind his back, Tony rocked casually onto his heels. “Nope. Just thought I’d stop by.” He brought the bottle of wine to his front, held up forward and smiled. “I bought wine.”
May’s expression shifted as she accepted the bottle of cheap wine. She still looked thoroughly bewildered, but amusement was starting to shine through. “I- Okay.” She blinked, took a few steps back, and held the door wide open. “I’ll grab some cups.”
Tony took that as an invitation and entered the quaint entryway. May led him though the small open living area. He glanced around, debating where to sit. There is a round wooden table with mismatched chairs on one side of the room and a well-loved brown couch on the other. “Table?” he asked, as May disappeared into the narrow galley kitchen.
“Sure! I'll be right there.”
[continue reading on AO3]
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second post today!
your welcome :)
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marvel-lous-guy · 2 years
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*Texting*
Clint: I am now giving knife throwing lessons in the vents
Clint: Come to Avengers street if you want in
Bruce: what do you mean by Avengers street?
Nat: He's given the vents street names
Sam: seriously?
Clint: Hey! It's practical!
Sam: oh yeah? For what?
Clint: Siruations like this!
Peter: Can I learn how to throw knives Mr Hawkeye sir?
Tony: NO
Clint: YES
FRIDAY: I have locked all the vents on boss' request
Clint: F R I D A Y
Clint: Now I'm stuck in the vents!
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Comics Agere Week 2024:
the discord:
what is agere?:
essentially: a coping mechanism wherein a person enters a state of mind in which they feel ‘younger’, allowing them to relax and separate themselves momentarily from their daily stressors.
urban dictionary: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=age%20regression
healthline: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/age-regression#types
why would I want to write for this?
for the same reason you would write mental illness h/c or de-aging h/c or fluff! it’s an interesting tool to use in your story- and people will enjoy it. for dc fans, consider the hypotheticals of a batfam member regressing- how that would effect interpersonal dynamics. Or, perhaps some irondad or team red fluff for marvel fans.
what are the rules?
the only rules are that you tag it #comicsagereweek2024 or post it to the ao3 collection, and that you refrain from making sexual content for this event. this is not a judgemental space, but age regression itself is not sexual, and ‘sexual agere’ content only spreads the harmful idea that it is. it is not welcome for this event.
what kinds of content are accepted?
writing, art, edits, moodboards, stimboards, etc!! basically any fun sfw agere content surrounding comics characters that fit the prompt(s) !! :>
where’s the collection?
what are the prompts/dates?
Prompts for Comics Agere Week 2024:
January 22nd - 28th.
Monday, January 22nd:
Accidental Regression Reveal
Tuesday, January 23rd:
Mid-Fight Regression, and/or Sickfic
Wednesday, January 24th:
Merch as a Comfort Item
Thursday, January 25th:
That is NOT a Mouth Object, and/or Sleepy Time
Friday, January 26th:
Villains as Caregivers and/or Babies Don’t Fight Crime!
Saturday, January 27th:
Nightmares
Sunday, January 28th:
Parentification of a Friend (you’re my dad now! hope this helps!)
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clintbartonswife · 7 months
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it takes a village
Pairings: Peter Parker & irondad!Tony Stark Summary: tony gets a message from peter's kidnappers and makes a call. read part one first Whumptober prompt #6 : recording / 'it should've been me' Whumptober prompt #20 : 'you will regret touching them' Notes: brief descriptions of torture masterlist   || whumptober2023
"Sir, you have a message."
Tony wiped the sweat from his forehead, pushing his chair back and looking up to the roof of his lab. "Can it wait? I think I'm close to fixing the lagging issue in Rhodey's leg brace."
"You ignored their last message sir. This time they attached a video."
"FRIDAY, is that a yes or no?"
A few seconds passed as FRIDAY inspected the file, Tony stretching and wincing as his back made a loud cracking noise. DUM-E whirred at him with concern, going back to dusting when he shooed it away.
"No sir. It can't wait."
He sighed, twirling in his chair to face the nearest screen, grabbing his coffee from the table. "Put it up."
The mug fell to the floor, smashing and spilling the coffee all over the floor of the lab.
He was looking at Peter being thrown into a room, body limp and bruised. The angle suggested it was from a CCTV feed, though the resolution was surprisingly high. His heart dropped as the video skipped, showing the kid hammering at the door, yelling and screaming.
Tony couldn't tear his eyes away, tears gathering in his eyes as the video skipped forwards once more. Peter was curled in on himself in the corner of the room, rocking slightly back and forth in an attempt to self-soothe. Text popped up on the screen, stating that instructions would be sent in the next two hours.
As the screen switched to black he ran out of the room, grabbing the flip phone he had vowed to never use, dialling the only number saved on it.
"I need your help."
Tony paced across the tarmac, fiddling with the flip phone in his hands.
"They'll be here." Rhodey reassured, moving to place a hand on his shoulder, "Cap - Steve reached out first. He won't go back on his word."
Tony huffed, "I know it's just - they took the kid. I was so busy I didn't even think to -" He ran his hands across his face. "He's been there for three days already."
"We're going to get him."
Tony couldn't speak, settling instead for a tight nod.
His thoughts were stuck on the image of Peter. He was alone and afraid, curled up in the corner with bruised hands hugged in to his chest.
"How did May -"
"She's with Pepper now, at the tower."
"Pepper?"
Tony let out a self deprecating laugh. "No matter how she feels about me right now, she loves the kid almost as much as I do. May needs someone with her so..."
Rhodey just hummed, stepping back at the noise of an approaching quinjet. "We'll get him back. We just... need to get through this first."
Tony nodded, shaking his shoulders in an attempt to shake off some of the anxiety that threatened to choke him. Any dread that he had been feeling over this reunion was nothing compared to the last 8 hours, and with it came hope.
Hope was a dangerous thing, but goddamn did he need all he could get.
--
Tony cleared his throat, doing his best to appear put-together. It failed, horrifically, but he hoped that they wouldnt be cruel enough to point it out.
The quinjet door opened, revealing almost all of the old team. "Welcome back to the States."
Steve nodded in greeting, bearded jaw clenched and hands protectively crossed over his chest.
They stared at each other for a moment, unspoken words thick in the air. Rhodey broke it, stepping forwards.
"Thank you for coming. I'm sure we all... have a lot to say, but now is not the time."
Steve's eyes darkened with guilt as they passed over Rhodey's leg braces, offering another curt nod in response.
Natasha was the first to step off of the platform, offering Tony a tight smile. "Agreed."
"Just -" Tony's fist clenched by his side, "Please. I can't get him on my own."
"We wouldn't let you, man." Sam replied, "You got coordinates?"
"FRIDAY's working on it right now. So far she's narrowed it to Chicago."
"Then lets go."
Steve turned around, heading straight to the controls of the jet. Tony took a deep breath, looking at Rhodey for reassurance before following, door closing behind them.
--
The awkwardness of the jet was almost suffocating, Tony checking his phone every few seconds for any sort of update. Rhodey had positioned himself protectively in front of him, though not in a way that he was completely blocked from the view of the others.
Steve's body language was tight and guarded, eyes flitting over to Tony every few seconds before diverting to the floor, restraining himself from saying the words he had been sitting on for the past few months.
Tony's phone pinged, the man's face whitening as another video appeared on his screen. "They sent another one."
"Tony... you don't have to-"
He brushed Rhodey's concern off, jaw tightening. "No. I do." He clicked play with shaking hands, spare hand reaching up to cover his mouth in an attempt to withhold his shout of shock.
Peter was tied to a chair, head hung low. A woman was stood by a metal tray, picking up a cattleprod and jamming it into his stomach. A tear fell down his cheek at Peter's yell of pain, the other people in the jet jumping to their feet at the realisation of the nature of the video.
Natasha was the first to approach. "Tony -"
"Don't. I need to -"
The abuse continued, though Peter remained strong, refusing to let out another noise despite the attacks. Despite this, the pain was written clearly across his face, guilt eating at Tony like a disease.
"It should've been me" he whispered, throat tight.
Rhodey placed a comforting hand on his shoulder once again, grounding him and saving him from the anxiety spiral that was threatening to drag him down. He spoke in a low tone, attempting to hide his words from the rest of the group. "Breathe. You can't panic now. He needs you at 100%"
Tony choked out an agreement, placing his phone down on the seat and placing his head in his hands, willing himself to get it together. He had to be strong for Peter.
As his phone pinged again, he froze. Sam approached him carefully, picking up the phone and opening it when there was no argument.
"FRIDAY has a location," he said, "warehouse in Chicago, West Chatham. I'll give Steve the full address."
Natasha stood by Tony, close enough for him to feel her body heat, but keeping distance. "We'll get him. He's going to be okay. I promise."
--
The last twenty minutes of the journey felt like forever, Tony's mind racing with a million different possibilities. None of them were good.
As the quinjet began its descent, Rhodey moved closer to Tony, voice quiet. "You know I want to go in with you ..."
"I know. He - Peter will understand."
"Legs don't work the way they used to," Rhodey smiled, "But I'll get the meds out, ready for him."
"I appreciate it, Platypus. I mean it."
"I know its been a while since you've been alone with them, but they've still got your back. They won't let anything happen to Parker."
Tony nodded, fists clenching and unclenching as he pushed down the anxiety, willing himself to be strong. He wasn't allowed to be Tony Stark right now. His kid needed Ironman.
As he stood, he activated his armour, allowing the metal to give him courage.
"We go in quick and do this cleanly." Steve said, authoritative tone bringing Tony back to the prime of the Avengers. "We're still technically on the run. If we stay too long then -"
"They won't arrest you." Tony interrupted, keeping his eyes set on the door. "I've been negotiating since you went off the radar. I'm close to fixing it. Getting a pardon for your boy as well."
There was silence for a moment, uneasy and uncertain.
"Tony..."
He just waved them off. "Yeah, whatever. We don't have time to waste." Clearing his throat awkwardly, he pressed the release on the door.
--
The alarm blared through the building, Tony not stopping as he fought his way down the corridor, visor scanning for any sign of Peter.
"North east quadrant clear" Natasha announced through coms, "I found a map and am on my way to the control room."
Steve's voice sounded a few moments later. "North west quadrant clear. I'm heading towards you Sam."
"There's a lot of them here - I think they're guarding something."
Tony slammed his fist into the last man's face, kicking open another door and swearing as it turned up empty. "I've got nothing. He's got to be with you, Sam."
"The control room is barred from the inside," Natasha reported, exertion clear in her voice, "Door won't budge. The woman's gotta be in here."
Tony's footsteps faltered, not sure where to go. As if sensing this, Steve spoke.
"We're still making our way through this quadrant, we've got it under control. Go to Nat, Tony."
Pushing down the need to rebel, Tony followed the instructions, each step increasing with determination the closer he got.
"Stand to the side." He said, raising his hand and sending a powerful blast through the door once Natasha was safely out of the way.
Shouts of panic from the other side were ignored as he blasted away the rest of the door, barging in and hitting the first person he saw. Natasha was right behind him, carefully controlled fury powering her every move as she tore through the group of men.
Tony used this distraction to corner the woman, kicking her in the knees and sending her tumbling to the floor. "You will regret touching them" he growled, looking down on her in disgust, "Who the fuck do you think you are?"
She laughed, an obnoxious laugh, and attempted to sit up straight. "You know who I am."
He held himself back from hurting her further, the sane part of him knowing that Peter would never forgive him for lashing out in a rage.
Instead, he disengaged his helmet, looking her up and down with disinterest. "I've never seen you before in my life."
At her outraged shout, he stepped back, motioning for Natasha to incapacitate her. "You're going to jail now, where no one will ever know or care who you are. You are nothing."
"You cant - They'll never arrest me! You have nothing -"
"Shut up." Natasha sneered, hitting her once cleanly in the temple, and huffing as she crumpled. Sparing a kind look at Tony, she nodded towards the door. "Go get him - I'll make sure she's tied up and ready for the cops."
He nodded, hoping his gratitude was clear as he raced out of the room. "Cap? Do you have him?"
"We have him - on our way to the jet."
Relief rushed through him, speeding up even more in his desperation to see his kid. He burst out of the building, disengaging the suit as he stumbled up the quinjet ramp, colliding with Sam's chest.
"He's okay - he's okay." Sam reassured, "Take a breath, Tony."
He took a shuddering breath, eyes fluttering closed as he did his best to regulate himself. "Thank you."
"Of course."
Sam stepped aside, letting Tony rush to Peter's side.
"Mr Stark?"
His voice was weak and small, but so so alive.
Tony let out a tearful laugh, cupping Peter's cheek in his hand. "It's me, bud. I'm here."
"Knew you'd come" Peter smiled, blinking weakly, "Knew it."
"Always."
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diazevan · 8 months
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I will break down sobbing every single time I remember that last time Peter saw Happy before everybody forgot Peter.
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